Jay Halstead x Reader (nicknamed Deuce/ Surname of Barlowe but no first name used)
You and Jay figure out what’s next
Warnings: NSFW happenings
“When did you move in here exactly?” you asked Jay who was currently curled around your body. He grinned, lips finding your neck “When I offered to pay one third of the bills also which means Roxie and Sam only have to split one third of the bills amongst the two of them” You shook your head and turned to face him “You’re kind of ridiculous you know that?” he nodded “Oh, believe me I know” and pulled you into a kiss, his tongue flicking out to tease at yours.
“I’m surprised Nolan let you move off base since technically you aren’t relieved of your contract” you spoke and Jay groaned as his lips teased across your jaw and down your neck “Am I doing something wrong baby? You’re talking about Nolan and I am doing my best here to love on you” you laughed at how offended he sounded. “I’m just saying”
He shook his head and flipped the two of you so he was on his back and you were on top of him. You braced your hands on his chest and he grinned, knowing you could feel how hard he was already, considering he was only wearing sweatpants. “If I let you cuff me to the bed and do anything you want to me will you please stop talking about Nolan?” he begged and you grinned “You say that like you don’t enjoy when I cuff you to the bed and have my way with you” he smirked “That’s true”
You leaned down to press a soft kiss to his lips, gently rolling your tongue against his in rhythm with your hips as you started to move them against him. He whimpered into your mouth, hips bucking up off the bed. You gasped lightly, moving from his lips to kiss across his jaw and down the side of his neck and when you bit down on his pulse point his hands went to your hips, fingers digging into the soft flesh. “Deuce, I love you but unless you are actually wanting to have sex right now baby..I can’t play like this” he panted and you laughed “What’s wrong?”
“The woman I love is teasing the hell out of me, knowing we have to leave in..” he leaned up to look at the clock “Twenty minutes if we’re gonna make the drive to the base so Trav will be here in ten minutes so we should’ve gotten up five minutes ago” you shook your head “I’ll be damned, you’re actually learning our times” and pressed another kiss to his lips before climbing off of him.
You pulled the shirt you’d worn to bed over your head and let it fall to the floor, feeling his eyes on you as you pushed your shorts off your hips as well. You looked over your shoulder at him and winked “Might not have time for sex but if you come get in the shower with me, there’s a possibility we could help each other out?” he was out of the bed without another word.
Los Guerreros del Illimani was taken down and they were the last target for this round of interdiction which meant you were due at the base for meetings with Nolan during which you would be signing off on all the squad being released from their contracts,Jay included.
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You walked into the conference room and it felt like saying goodbye to family. You’d gone from a squad of twelve and little by little it was down to five besides Jay. “Deuce” Davidson grinned the moment you walked in and pulled you into a hug that lifted your feet off the ground. You laughed as he spun you around and instead of putting you down on your feet handed you off to Hernandez as he moved to hug Marcel.
The squad and your team went around the room saying their final goodbyes to each other. “I’m gonna miss you idiots” you laughed and Jones winked at you “You got our numbers. Call us up anytime you need us” Hernandez nodded “You know Red will be chomping at the bit to back you” you winked at him and ran your fingers down Red’s back “Get him a good steak when you landed in Oregon. I’ll send you the money” he laughed “Yes ma’am”
Jay had told the squad bye and was standing off to the side. You and him hadn’t actually tackled the fact that he had no concrete status to stay.
“So, what’s next for the two of you?” Davidson asked, looking from you to Jay and you felt your face warm as Jay stepped up behind you, slipping his arms around your waist “I’m gonna marry her if she’ll have me” your eyes widened and you looked up at him “What?” he grinned “Can we talk for a minute?” you nodded and waved a hand at your team and the squad “Enjoy your last few minutes together”
Jay pulled you over to the corner of the room and you looked up at him, knowing your eyes were as big as they felt “Jay, baby you can’t spring something like that on me” he laughed “I’m sorry, I’ve been thinking about it. I um..Travis called in some favors. When Marcel goes to train with the K9 I can go with him, take the tests needed and all you’ll have to do is sign off that you’re good with having me”
“What?” you asked and he nodded “I can join the team because of my service record with the army and CPD. I can be on your team full time Deuce. If we get married before I join your team then it’s not a conflict of interest because we were already married. Sweetheart I fucked up before, I didn’t give you the commitment that you deserved but I am offering it here and now. I want to change careers, move continents and I want to be your husband. If you’ll have me”
You realized the room had gone silent to the point you could hear a pin drop. Jay slipped his dog tags off “I don’t have a ring at the moment but I’ll get you one, a perfect one that suits you. I’ll get me one that won’t ever come off, hell I’ll get one tattooed on me. Will you marry me?” you nodded and he slipped his dog tags over your neck then used the chain to pull you into a kiss. The squad and your team all started cheering.
You turned to face them and felt your face warm. “So, I guess that’s what’s next for us Luke” you laughed.
Your wedding was simple enough. Your team flew into D.C. to deliver Marcel and Jay for training and had a day to kill. A quick shopping trip later you and Jay were standing in a chapel in front of a preacher while your team stood around you. Roxie video called Logan and Will while Val called in the squad members she could contact on such short notice.
“Do you take this woman as your lawfully wedded wife, for better or worse. Till death do you part?” the preacher asked Jay and he smiled, eyes never leaving yours “I do, even in death she’s mine and I’m hers” you felt your face warm, tears threatening your eyes as the preacher looked at you “Do you take this man as your lawfully wedded husband, for better or worse. Till death do you part?”
You looked up at Jay and smiled “We’ve had the worse and made our way back to each other. I think we’ve got this. I do”
“You may kiss the bride” Jay pulled you into his arms, his lips crashing against yours as your team and the squad members on the phone along with Logan and Will all cheered. Jay smiled when the two of you pulled away from each other “I love you” “I love you too Jay”
Roxie popped up and slapped him on the shoulder “Now, let's hit the jeweler and tattoo parlor” your eyes widened “Jay you’re not!” he grinned “Oh I am” and pressed another quick kiss to your lips.
“Nolan I swear to god” you played with the dog tags dangling around your neck as you paced your office and argued with him on the phone. He laughed “I just want you to talk to the next person in charge of the interdiction. That’s it! Hey, if I hadn’t pulled Halstead in behind your back you wouldn’t be married right now”
You froze, your mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. You had no argument to that. It was true. If he hadn’t went behind your back, despite knowing the drama between you and Jay, the two of you never would’ve found your way back to each other “I’ll take one meeting” you relented and he laughed “Thank you Agent Barlowe-Halstead” you laughed “It’s Halstead-Barlowe. I hyphenated with my maiden named last because that’s what I’ve been known as for the longest on the job, plus Jay’s an agent now”
“Either way, thank you Deuce” you laughed lightly “Guess I should say thank you Nolan” before both of you said your goodbyes and hung up. “Sweets! I got a package for you!” Travis hollered and when you opened your office door there stood Marcel, Jay and a german shepherd that was heeled at Marcel’s feet.
You grinned when your eyes locked with Jay’s. He smirked “See the dog first, we both know you want to” you laughed and walked over to the shepherd, holding your hand out. Marcel gave a order so he stood and sniffed you then let you run your hand down his back “Who did we get?” you asked and he patted the dog’s back “This is Rylo”
“Rylo, they give him all the gear I requested for him? The vests, masks and everything?” Travis whistled and held up a duffle bag “Right here” “Good” you patted Rylo once more than turned your eyes towards Jay. He grinned “Do I get patted on the head now?” you shrugged “I mean, if that’s what you want I’ll pat you and call you a good boy”
A light blush graced his cheeks as you heard Roxie and Samantha cackle and Roxie whisper “Told you I heard him say he’d be a good boy” you bit back a laugh. Jay shook his head “Well SSA Halstead-Barlowe I am officially a member of your team”
You grinned “Good, you’re stuck with us all now” he looked around and shrugged “A hell of a lot worse places to be”
“Jay” you whined his name as he pushed into you, the stretch of the few weeks the two of you had been apart, forcing the air out of your lungs for a few seconds. He leaned down to press open mouthed kisses across your chest “God I missed you baby, not just this but being near you. After finally having it again then having to be away from you..” he leaned up to catch your lips in a gentle kiss “I never want to be away from you again”
You smiled and wrapped your legs around his waist which let him know it was ok to move, he rolled his hips deep into yours which pulled a gasp from you “I love you Jay, always have, always will” he nodded, face falling to the bend of your back “I love you Deuce, I don’t know why you gave me another chance but thank you baby. Thank you”
He quickly found a pace that had your nails biting into his back, breaths coming in sharp pants in an effort to be quiet since you weren’t sure if Roxie or Samantha had come home yet. He caught your mouth with his, rolling his tongue against yours as he slipped a hand between your bodies, rubbing tight circles onto your clit. You moaned into his mouth and he groaned lightly.
When the need for air forced the two of you away from each other, you pulled him closer to bury your face in his neck in an effort to muffle your sounds. He laughed lightly “Feel good? Please tell me, let me hear I’m making my wife feel good” you whined at his words “It feels good Jay, fuck baby my husband is making me feel so damn good”
Your orgasm slammed into you and when you came, walls clenching down around him it pulled him over that edge with you. He buried himself inside of you with one final thrust, moaning out your name as he filled the condom. He pressed his head against your chest “I love you” he whispered and you laughed “I love you too”
He brought his left hand up to push the hair out of your face, the light catching his ring and the tattoo of your initials that was right under the ring. You’d tried to talk him out of it, reminding him about undercovers. In reply he’d brought cover up tape and gave it to you for undercovers.
“You’re really here right? You really gave me another chance? You’re really my wife?” he asked as if he didn’t quite believe it. You nodded slowly “Really” and he grinned “Good” before pressing another kiss to your lips.
He gently pulled out of you, apologizing when you made a face. “I didn’t hurt you did I?” he asked and you shook your head “We weren’t with each other for a few weeks Jay, the stretch is gonna have me sore for a day or two” he nodded slowly “I’m sorry? Want me to run a hot bath? I’ll get in with you and rub your back?”
You grinned “Damn, you really are putting in effort to be a good husband aren’t ya?” he nodded “As much effort as possible. You deserve the best so I’m trying to be as good as I can be, for you” and caught your lips in a gentle kiss “Let me go start the bath and I’ll come carry you in there” “You’re ridiculous” you laughed as he walked towards the bathroom.
He looked over his shoulder, catching you staring at his ass and winked “But I’m yours” “Damn right” you replied and that caused a broad grin to slip onto his face.
Jay Halstead x Reader (nicknamed Deuce/ Surname of Barlowe but no first name used)
Donato gets brought down
Warnings: mention of sex, violence, threat of torture
1 more part of this to go!!
You were sound asleep, Jay’s body wrapped around yours. When the first knock at your door sounded you thought you were imagining it. You turned over, listened for a second then curled up to Jay’s chest and almost dozed back off when you heard Roxie’s voice “Deuce, get out here now!”
Her voice was a strained whisper, like she was trying to wake only you up. Ok, morning after could be awkward but her and Jay had known each other for a while so what was going on? You slipped out of bed carefully, looking around for your discarded shorts from the night before. When you finally found them abandoned near the dresser you slipped them on under Jay’s shirt and opened your door just far enough to slip out of.
She was standing to the side, twisting her red locks through her fingers. Something big was up. “Rox? What is it?” she cut her eyes towards your bedroom and your heart fall “Dear god he’s not married again is he?” she laughed lightly “No! Nothing like that…um Adan dropped a message in the secure line”
“Ok?” you weren’t sure what Adan dropping a message had to do with all the secrecy. “He found Donato. He sent me a cell to keep track of and the fucker got his ass geo tagged” your heart leapt into your throat as you looked back at your bedroom door then. That explained why she had been so careful to not wake Jay up. “What do you want to do?” she asked and you took a deep breath, running a hand over your hair “I’ll um..I’ll wake Jay up and send him back to base to round everyone up. Call Trav and Marcel. Get them headed this way to get me and Sam. Everyone else head to the office so we can keep eyes on this bastard. I want wheels moving as soon as possible. Where is he?” “Santiago, Peru. Nolan should be able to get the team a flight out within an hour or so”
You gave her a small smile “Thank you Roxie” she nodded “Of course babe” and headed up to her room. You took a deep breath and slipped back into your room.
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Jay was laying back against the pillows, the blanket had slipped down to his waist. The metal of his dog tags were a stark contrast to the smooth skin of his chest and god he just looked so peaceful. You couldn’t even really tell him why you needed everyone rounded because you had every intention to not take him and Travis with you. You needed to bring in Donato alive if any way possible. He had valuable information. If those two were there? You didn’t know if you could reel them both in on top of your own temper.
You walked over to the bed and slowly crawled up on it. Once you were up on your knees next to him you tapped his chest gently “Jay?” you automatically leaned back after doing so, you’d shared the bed with him too much to not. It wasn’t his fault but sometimes how he reacted to waking up varied. This time however he woke up, his eyes landing on you and a smile slipping onto his face “Hey baby” “Hey, how you feeling?” you asked with a grin. He laughed “I was gonna ask you that”
“Well between my thighs are a little sore, fairly certain I’m marked in a couple places” you teased. He grinned “Come here” and turned to pull you over on top of him before you could stop him. Your hands flew out to brace yourself on his chest, “Jay!” he grinned “I’m sorry, I finally get to touch you again and you look so damn beautiful”
You raised an eyebrow “My hair isn’t brushed, I’m wearing your shirt” he nodded “Nothing more gorgeous” you leaned down to press a kiss to his lips “I didn’t wake you up for no reason. We had a target come in on the wire”
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Jay’s hands clung to your hips, thumbs tracing shapes on the skin when his fingers dipped below his shirt that you were wearing. Waking up next to you after all this time? After thinking he’d never get to again? He couldn’t imagine being happier. Even while you were telling him about a target.
“Ok baby, what do you need me to do?” he asked and you smiled “We’re gonna have to get a flight within an hour or so. The target is in Peru. Roxie is calling Travis and Marcel to come get me and Sam. Do you want to wait on them or go ahead and grab a cab back to base so you have a chance to shower and get fresh clothes?”
He sighed because he wanted to stay with you but needed a shower “I guess I’ll call the cab” you nodded and pressed another kiss to his lips “Ok, I’ll be there right after you” “Ok baby” you climbed off of him and he missed you the second you were gone.
Once you climbed off the bed you pulled his shirt over your head and he groaned “For fuck’s sake Deuce” you held it out to him with a shrug “You can’t go shirtless” he nodded “And now I’m half hard” you grinned “Sorry?” he took the shirt and slipped it on before standing to find his jeans, clocking the way your eyes were watching him.
You managed to shake yourself away from looking at Jay and pulled him towards you and he gladly let himself be pulled around “So, do you still mean everything you said last night?” you asked as you slipped your arms around his waist.
“Everything from the fact that I love you and I want to stay in Bolivia to that I was made for you and everything I am belongs to you” you felt your face warm then tilted your head up to meet his eyes “I mean everything too Jay. I love you and I don’t want to lose you again” he smiled and leaned down to catch your lips in a gentle kiss “We’ll get it figured out, I love you sweetheart so damn much”
You felt your heart flip “I love you too Jay, I’ll see you in a few at the base?” he nodded “See you in a few” and pressed another kiss to your lips.
Luckily the fact of a target coming in on the wire managed to distract everyone from the fact that Jay had spent the night in your bed. You walked into the conference room, leading your team and Jay already had the squad rounded up and waiting. He gave you a small smile when you looked his way.
Nolan was also in the room and nodded to you “Roxie called, there’s a plane waiting to take your team to Santiago and boots on the ground to back your play” “Thank you” you told him then turned to face everyone who was waiting for your word to move. “Everyone gear up, Hernandez I need Red on this of course” “I got you” he replied with a nod. You nodded, cutting your eyes at Samantha, Roxie had told her who the target was. You swore her to secrecy about who it was. You didn’t plan to tell Jay and Travis until your team was there. You would send them to a secondary location that Roxie had that needed to be checked out while you planned to take Marcel and Davidson to back you.
“Ok, the flight should take about three hours. Hopefully less. Suvs will be waiting on us and the moment we land we’ll divide into two teams. One will back me to go after the target, the other will go to clear a location of interest. Any questions?” everyone shook their heads or audibly said no so you looked to Nolan “Lead the way to the plane”
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You sat between Travis and Jay on the plane, leaning your head back against the metal side of it. Wasn’t your first trip on a military cargo plane by far. You felt Jay’s hand brush against yours so you shifted your hand closer, allowing him to lace his fingers in with yours. You saw a smile slip onto his face out of the corner of your eye.
Travis bumped your shoulder from the other side and you rolled your head over to look at him “Yeah Bailey?” he grinned “How ya feeling?” you rolled your eyes, feeling your face warm “Bite me Trav” he looked over your head at Jay who was doing everything in his power to act as if he didn’t know for a fact the two of you were currently talking about him even though he was holding your hand. “No, I think that position is officially filled” Travis teased and you heard Jay bite back a chuckle.
You wished you could fall into the easy rhythm of joking, hoped they didn’t notice you weren’t. Any other time? The morning after like this? Travis’s teasing towards you and Jay would have you giving him hell right back about some of the things you knew about him and Valarie but you just couldn’t concentrate. “You good Deuce? Halstead wear you out?” Travis asked and you smirked “I wore him out if anything” and that caused him and Jay both to laugh. You cut your eyes at Jay and he had a light blush gracing his cheeks but shrugged nonetheless “I’m not complaining in the least” and winked at you.
The pilot let all of you know to prepare for a landing as a message came in from Roxie that the tracking was still active and he was still in Santiago, downtown. You took a deep breath as the plane landed.
You knew it was your job to lead the team off so that’s what you did. You stood, grabbing your gear. Travis and Jay both fell in behind you. This was going to be a little more difficult than you thought.
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You walked off the plane and the local authorities that were there to assist mixed with the closest federal authorities greeted you. “Supervisory special agent Barlowe?” you nodded “At your service. My girl get everyone up to speed?”
A man who’d introduced himself as Sergeant Dankworth nodded “We have two teams waiting. One will hang back while your team goes after the target to form a perimeter should he elude you. The other team will go with your people for the location of interest” you smiled “Thank you, I’ll let my people know who’s going with who and we can gear up to get this show on the road” “Yes ma’am”
You tilted your head to the side and everyone followed you. Everyone quickly geared up then you nodded to Marcel and Davidson “You two are gonna be with me on this” Travis stepped in front of you “Like hell” and Jay’s eyes were glued to your face “Why aren’t me and Trav rolling with you?”
You sighed and grabbed both of their arms to pull them away from everyone else “We don’t have time for this. You two are not with me on this” “Fuck that” Travis damn near growled. Jay nodded “Is this because of last night?” you shook your head as Travis crossed his arms “Then why the hell not? Talk to me, now”
“Because it’s Donato. We need to bring him in alive Trav and I’m going to have a hard enough time keeping myself in check” Jay looked between you and Travis “Who the hell is Donato?” you dropped your gaze as Travis said “The bastard that led her into the ambush”
“Baby?” Jay’s voice was light but it had the effect he wanted because your eyes flew up to his. “You’re not going alone” “I’m taking a team” you reminded him and he nodded “Yeah well that’s not good enough. You’re not going after that son of a bitch without me and Travis” “Neither of you have right to order me” you reminded him, feeling your jaw tense.
Travis stepped up “Deuce, you’re my sister. I love you. Jay is in love with you. Don’t make us know what that bastard did and send you off after him. Do you really think we’ll be focusing?” you sighed “Fine, but we have to move. Now” he nodded and looked at Jay “Let’s roll”
You were walking down the street, following the coordinates of the tracker Adan had on Donato. Hernandez and Red were waiting with the backup team. One order and Red would be on your heel. If the tracker was right, along with security footage Roxie had pulled, Donato was staying in the hotel on the corner. You would not enter a building he was in if you could keep from it.
Your hope was to catch him coming out. “See anything yet?” Travis asked over the com and you spoke low “Nothing yet” you kept your head down, walking towards the hotel. Jay was coming from one direction, Travis from the other. You were in the center of them. “I’m approaching the hotel”
You were nearly to the entrance when Donato walked out. He looked up at you and you felt your fingertips go cold. His eyes got wide and he threw the cup of coffee in his hand at you then turned and ran. “JAY HE’S HEADED YOUR WAY! RED SHIRT. TRAVIS, TAKE THE EAST ALLEY, CUT HIS ASS OFF”
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You shoved people out of the way as you chased Donato, sliding around a corner. He spun around, trying to run but realized he was boxed in. You were in one direction then Travis then Jay. “Hey Joten, long time no see” you greeted and he stammered “B-Barlowe?”
You laughed bitterly “You remember, yeah I lived. You remember Travis? My partner. Wants your head on a platter?” he looked at Travis who cocked the hammer on his gun for added effect. “I remember him” you nodded then motioned to Jay “Ya haven’t met him, Jay Halstead meet Joten Donato. The reason you don’t have a child and the reason you almost didn’t have me”
Donato’s eyes got big “W-what do do you want?” you smiled “You’re gonna come with me and you’re going to tell me everything I want to know about Los Guerreros del Illimani then you’re going to stand trial for attempted murder of a federal agent” the bastard had the nerve to smirk at you “Or?” you shrugged “Or I turn my back and act like we never caught you, I let these two do whatever pops in their fucking heads to get the information I want out of you”
He looked from Travis to Jay and you knew what he would see in both of their eyes. Pure hate, both men would love to get their hands on him. They would love to carve out that pound of flesh that was owed but you knew this was bigger than you. “Ok, ok” he went down to his knees with his hands behind his head “I’ll be damned, you’re smarter than I gave you credit for”
“He’ll stand trial in Peru for the attempted murder of a U.S. federal agent along with his other crimes. They won’t go easy on him” you assured Jay on the plane ride back to La Paz. Your hands had finally stopped shaking after you’d assured yourself it was over. Donato would never see the light of day again as a free man.
“Plus I know some people, I called in some favors” Travis added from where his head was leaned back, eyes closed. You tilted your head towards him “That too”
“I wanted to kill him and please don’t think it’s just because of the baby. That bastard stood there and didn’t care that he almost took you out of this world. He didn’t care” Jay whispered and you slipped your hand in his “He didn’t though. I’m here” he smiled “And for some ungodly reason have let me back into your life”
“She’s got bad taste” Travis teased, a smirk slipping onto his face. You knew he was trying to break the tension, you laughed lightly and leaned over on his shoulder “Yeah, I’ve been best friends with you since the academy” he cracked open one eye “Exactly what I mean”
Jay shook his head “So, we’re going after Los Guerreros del Illimani next?” you nodded “Yup, they’re a big target. Even if that means some of the smaller targets have to be saved for the next round of interdiction”
His eyes met yours “It’s wrapping up quick now” you smiled slightly and shifted to tug him closer “We’ll figure it out” “I know” he replied with a smile.
Jay Halstead x Reader (nicknamed Deuce/ Surname of Barlowe but no first name used)
So much for any distance remaining
Warnings: Violence, a bomb exploding, ptsd flaring up, SEX, NSFW happenings, (borderline sub Jay, this man is begging)
So, the fact that you and Jay had made out like horny teenagers in the conference room shouldn’t affect the missions going forward correct? You stood next to Travis, doing a run down of what would happen. Your team was currently detailed to a fugitive hunt, it was in connection with one of the cartels on the final target list at least so it wouldn’t add that much to the time table.
“Do we have a last known area?” Luke asked and you nodded, tapping at the circle on the map “We’ll have to spread out and do a search and hope no one gets twitchy or mouthy and lets him know we’re on the way. I’m thinking maybe if all of you are comfortable with not wearing your uniforms we may go a different route on this one”
“What you thinking Deuce?” Hernandez asked and you grinned “Wear civilian clothes along with the black vests. As far as they know the drug interdiction targeting cartel is in direct association with the army. If they don’t see the uniforms coming they may not make the connection until we’re right on top of them. Me, Travis, Sam and Marcel will be clearly marked with our vests so no one can say we didn’t announce ourselves and all of you are acting under the supervision of the bureau”
Jay shook his head “I see why you and Voight knocked heads, tactically you think along the same lines as him” you cut your eyes at him and couldn’t stop the grin that slipped onto your face “I think that says worse about you on a personal level than me Halstead” and heard Travis bite back a laugh as Jay nodded with a grin “Got me there”
The decision was made that you would take Marcel, Hernandez, Davidson and Jones. Travis would take Jay, Samantha, Younce and Donaldson. Two teams of five, go in from two different directions with the address in the middle and with any luck box the target in.
“Can’t help but notice you two gave me Hernandez” you spoke quietly where only Jay and Travis could hear you while all of you were preparing the suvs to roll in places of the humvees. Jay shrugged “You like keeping the K9s close” Travis nodded “Besides, Boss lady needs to be covered” and winked at you before slapping Jay’s chest “Come on lover boy, we gotta roll”
You shook your head at Travis’ teasing but saw the way Jay grinned at it. Leave it up to men to go from wanting to actually kill each other to joking around. You nodded to Marcel “Round our crew up, we gotta roll” he nodded and whistled “Load up!”
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You asked Davidson to drive so you could talk to Roxie on the drive and try to triangulate a little better. Everyone else found spots and got comfortable for the drive.
“What’s the plan?” Travis asked over the com. “Stay low, stay together. Move fast and be careful. Do not attempt to breach without Red. I mean it Travis” “Copy that” he replied and you groaned, hitting the com again “Halstead, you copy that?” “Copy that” Jay replied and you breathed out, he wouldn’t let Travis go in.
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You moved through the streets, feeling Red nudge at your thigh when you got to every corner. Davidson nodded to you. You were attempting to evacuate civilians as you went, you damn sure didn’t want anyone innocent to be caught in the crosshairs.
“Target location in sight” you spoke low and heard Travis’ voice “Copy that, moving in to back your play”
Hernandez gave Red the order to move with you. You stepped up to the door and almost had your hand on the handle when Red grabbed your vest with his teeth and tugged you back. “FALL BACK AND TAKE COVER”
Red ran to Hernandez, Travis dove to cover Samantha and you felt Jay’s hand before he pulled you back against him, turning so his body was on top of yours and you were down in the dirt as the heat from the explosion washed over all of you.
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“Deuce!” Travis, Samantha and Marcel all three had one thought in mind the moment the dust settled… You. Jay had his body curled around yours, shielding you, when he attempted to move you clung to him, shaking.
You never liked explosions, they were messy. They fucked with your vision, your hearing and now? They triggered everything inside of you. You hadn’t realized you were shaking until Jay pulled you against his chest “You’re ok baby, you’re safe. It wasn’t you, it’s not then” you felt Travis’ hands and registered slowly that you were ok, you were safe.
You pulled away from Jay, standing with Travis’ help. You smiled weakly at Jay and your team before looking around “Everyone ok? Red!” he barked as if to say he was good. You looked at the remainder of the house and groaned “Fuck, now we gotta do a damn recovery. Let it cool then we’ll walk Red over it. For now make sure no civilians were harmed”
The squad walked away to do as you asked so you nodded at your team “I’m fine” they didn’t look like they believed you one bit, Jay either. You forced a smile but then nausea hit and you ran over to an alley, doubling up.
Jay ran behind you, pulling your hair back as you threw up. You felt his hands rubbing your back through your vest. “I don’t think she’s hurt, I think it’s just a reaction” Travis whispered to him from behind you and you nodded slowly “I’m not hurt, Jay got me out of the way and covered my body with his a little too fast for anything to have been physically hurt”
Travis gave him a small smile “Glad you were there Halstead” Jay shrugged “Glad I was too” Samantha walked over with a bottle of water once you were able to straighten up and turned around to lean heavily against the wall “You ok?”
You nodded “I think I am now. Can you throw a braid in my hair please?” she nodded “Yeah” you were a little embarrassed honestly but this was the first explosion you’d faced that wasn’t a timed, controlled charge. “Hey, you’re fine” Travis told you and you knew yet again he could read your face. You laughed “I’m on my feet, better than I thought I’d respond to it. And I faced it so it’s behind me now. Let's get back to work before the rest of the squad realizes the fed team is having to baby their SSA”
No civilians were harmed at least. Your team ended up recovering the remains of three individuals out of the remains of the house. A forensics team was coming in to take over and clear it.
You stood off the side, watching as the squad talked amongst themselves. You hated when shit like this happened. No rhyme or reason, just senseless. You took a deep breath when you saw the telltale blackened suvs come into view. “Looks like our relief is here boys and girls” you announced and a chatter went through your group.
Travis fell in step next to you and apparently Jay had appointed himself the position of falling in step on your other side. Once the suvs parked you walked over and luckily you knew the head of the forensic team they’d sent “Kelan” you greeted and she smiled “Hey Barlowe. You had me worried when I heard your name and an explosion”
You shook your head “No, I’m fine this time. Had a heads up” you nodded your head towards Red. She laughed “Sounds like you owe someone a steak dinner when you get back to La Paz” you grinned “Oh only the best”
You signed off on the scene then nodded to Marcel and Davidson that everyone could round up. Your team had the all clear to head home. You’d done your part, it wasn’t your mess any more.
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“Hey, ride with me” Travis told you once all of you got back to the suvs you’d driven and you smiled “Good with me” and walked over to the suv he’d been in. Jay eyed you carefully as you walked over “Are you sure you’re ok?” you nodded “I’m sure, it was just the shock of facing that” he smiled “Ok, I’m gonna ride with Marcel and Davidson”
You smiled “Thank you for what you did Jay” “Wasn’t another option but that” he replied and nodded to Travis “Let’s hit the road man”
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“He’s not the same” Travis broke the silence where you were laying against his shoulder, Samantha was laying against yours. You cut your eyes up at him and he shrugged, moving your head slightly “I had to shield Sam, I was closest to her. I know what you would’ve told me to do but Halstead moved towards where the dog had just hit. He didn’t hesitate Deuce, if you were getting hurt it was because he was getting hurt worse. He didn’t even move until the rest of us got to the two of you”
“What are you trying to tell me Trav? You don’t ramble” you whispered and he smiled “He reacted like I would’ve had it been Val” your eyes widened. You hadn’t exactly told Travis what had happened between you and Jay. He knew you kissed but not about Jay’s confession. Now he was practically telling you Jay was in love with you. “He’s leaving when this whole thing is over” you reasoned and he shrugged “But does he want to? Or should we help him figure out a way to stay?”
Everyone was talking about what they were doing to unwind. A couple guys from the squad were apparently going out with Roxie, Samantha, Marcel and Sirius to the bar and a local tattoo place that a guy Sirius had dated a few months back was now working at.
You shook your head and cleared your throat, causing everyone to look at you “Remember the rules. Don’t add to the population, don’t subtract from the population. Don’t drive even buzzed and try to make sure if you get a tattoo it’s not something you’re gonna regret in a year’s time”
A chorus of laughter went through the room followed by “Yes ma’am” “Of course” “Oh come on Deuce, we know!”
You grinned, standing next to Travis who bumped your arm “Well dear I’m going home to my wife. What about you?” you raised an eyebrow “Well as much as I’d love to go home to your wife you get bitchy so I guess I’m just gonna head back to my place. If the girls are going out, it’s probably gonna be an all night or damn near all night type of thing”
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Jay caught your eye and Travis noticed. He poked your side lightly “Go talk to him” you rolled your eyes and walked over to Jay “How about you? You getting a tattoo?” he shook his head “No, I’m good. What about you?”
“No, I’m gonna go home and get a shower. I have dirt and debris in places that there shouldn’t be dirt and debris” he groaned lightly “Is that just a dig making me think about you in the shower?” you laughed “Easy there. You know if you want to, I could order some food from that place near me. I mean if you don’t want to get into anything else”
“Are you asking me out?” he teased with a grin. You shook your head “No, I was asking you if you wanted to eat dinner with me so I didn’t have to eat alone but with that cocky ass attitude never mind!” you started to walk off and he gently grabbed your arm “Come on! I’m sorry?” you turned to look at him and grinned which caused him to shake his head “You did that on purpose”
You shrugged “Maybe? I’ll text you my address, if you want to come. Me and the girls are headed home. We all need showers and they’re headed out after that” he nodded “I’ll be there”
“So, if the bras on the doorhandle we know Jay’s here?” Roxie teased tapping your bedroom door. You rolled your eyes “Who started that miss?” she shrugged “Someone needed to be getting laid in this place”
You shook your head “Aren’t you two supposed to be heading out?” Samantha laughed “Yeah, come on Rox. Let’s leave the lovebirds alone” you were beginning to regret inviting Jay over for something as simple as eating dinner with you. “It’s freaking takeout” you reasoned and Samantha nodded “Sure babe, sure. Have fun! I put a box of condoms in your side table by the way! Bye! Love you”
“SAMANTHA!” you yelled but she’d already closed the door. Jesus Christ, you were just eating dinner. You weren’t going to sleep with him!
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Jay felt ridiculous being nervous. It was takeout. Easier said than done when all he could think about was the way your lips had felt on his again, the way your hands had dug into his shoulders… then the way you’d clung to him, him when you were anxious. He’d managed to calm you.
When the cab stopped in front of your address he thanked the guy then paid him and got out before walking to your door and knocking. “Hold on!” he heard your voice and a half second later you opened the door, a bit breathless but a smile on your face “Hey Jay”
He let his eyes flicker down your body. Christ you were wearing just a t-shirt and boxers. He hadn’t realized that would be the case. He swallowed hard, fuck. “Hey sweetheart..shit Deuce”
You laughed “You can call me sweetheart when we’re not on a mission. Deal?” he grinned “Deal” you stepped back and waved him in “Well this is home”
Your place was decorated the way he expected a place shared by you, Roxie and Samantha to be decorated. He could pick out each of your tastes. You motioned around “Um kitchen. Roxie’s room is upstairs. Mine and Sam’s are down here. They’re fairly big bedrooms and even have bathrooms in them. For the price we pay here, it’s amazing considering it doesn’t break the bank”
“It’s nice, really” he replied and you brightened up like somehow his approval of your place meant something and that made his heart flip “Um I got food?” you laughed and he nodded “Lets eat”
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“No, see that was all Travis!” you laughed as you told Jay about a time in the Netherlands where your team literally had to pull out the “If we get caught I’m deaf and you don’t speak english” card.
“You two are freaking insane” he laughed, turning towards you on the couch. You shrugged “What does that say about Val? She is my best friend next to him and in love with him” he nodded “Says she’s got good taste because he’s just like you in a lot of ways” you felt your face warm “Easy there Jay”
“How can I judge her for loving him when I love you?” he teased and you grinned “Hey, I’m not forcing you into anything here” and acted like you were going to stand off the couch but he pulled your arm “Don’t you dare woman” you laughed “See? You’re the one literally pulling me back”
“And I will until you will no longer let me” he promised. You turned to pull one leg under you, closing the space between you “Thank you again Jay, I think I froze. I mean I know I was able to warn everyone else but it was like my brain stopped after that” he nodded “That’s ptsd baby, it affects everyone differently. You protected your team, I protected you. That’s my job”
“Oh” you whispered and knew your face fell when he said that and his eyes widened “I didn’t mean like my job on the team, I meant it’s my job to give up my life if need be to keep the woman I love breathing and I will do it time and again with no hesitation. You’re strong, you’re capable and I know that. I respect that but when I have an opening to protect you I’m taking it”
“What about when everything is over?” you asked, your gaze dropping to your hands. You felt him move before his hand gently cupped the side of your face so you raised your eyes to his and felt your heart leap into your throat from the way he was looking at you. “I don’t want to leave you.I want to stay here, I love you”
“Do you actually mean it this time Jay?” you asked, holding his gaze. He nodded “With everything in me. You’re everything to me” you smiled and leaned over to gently press a kiss to his lips. When you pulled back he smiled at you “What was that for?”
You shrugged “I don’t know, if you love me shouldn’t I get to kiss you whenever I want” he nodded, a grin spreading across his face “You can do whatever you want to me, whenever you want to me. I’m yours, every last part of me”
“Even this?” you asked, moving to slip a leg over his waist so you could straddle him. His hands went to your hips, holding you against him as his head fell back, voice coming out in damn near a whine "Especially that”
“What about this?” you asked, leaning over to tease at the bend of his neck with your tongue and teeth. He shifted his hips up and you could feel just how hard he already was “Baby, please..tell me what you want me to do..I just want to do what you want me to” he whispered and you pulled back to press a kiss to his lips, swallowing hard. This was a risk, he could leave..something could go wrong… but god you wanted him.
“Do you want me Jay?” you asked, rolling your hips slightly and he nodded “More than anything, I just want to make you feel good” you pressed a kiss to his pulse “Want to see my bedroom?” you asked in a whisper and he nodded again “Please”
You pulled Jay behind you into your bedroom, closing the door and locking it. You smiled up at him and when you pulled him into a kiss you realized he was shaking just slightly “Are you ok?” you asked and he nodded “I am, I’m just nervous”
“About me?” you asked and he nodded “I don’t want to fuck things up” you laughed “Then don’t” and pulled him into a kiss, you felt his hands slip under your shirt and you froze. You hadn’t thought about your scars, the fall out of the explosion he hadn’t seen.
He stepped back “What did I do?” you ducked your head “My scars, you haven’t seen what the explosion did to me” he leaned down to be eye to eye with you “Do you really think there is anything in this world that could make me not want you? Especially something that is simply just proof of how strong you truly are? We lost something that day but you’re still here, no scar matters to me”
You reached for his hands and pulled them back to your shirt “Take it off me?” he smiled “Yes ma’am” and slipped your shirt over your head.
The moment he pulled your shirt over your head Jay felt the world stop. His fingers found the raised pink scars that littered your side. Proof of how close he came to losing you, proof of the pain you’d survived. “I love you so damn much” he whispered and you smiled, letting a breath go and your shoulders relaxed at his words.
You pushed Jay’s shirt up so he helped you get it up and over his head. You smiled and stepped into his arms, running your hands up his stomach to his chest and across his shoulders, playing with the chain of his dog tags that were now dangling loose “I’ve always loved your chest and arms” you admitted and he grinned “They’re all yours”
You pulled him down and crashed your lips against his, the feeling of his tongue flicking into your mouth pulled a light sound from the back of your throat. He kissed you like he was a drowning man finding air. You pulled back from him and he kissed across your jaw and down your neck speaking against your skin “Please baby, please let me make you feel good.. I need to make you feel good”
“What do you need Jay?” you asked, looking up at him and the look in his eyes was so desperate, so pleading, you could’ve come undone then and there. “I want to taste you, it’s been too damn long” he whined and hearing Jay, the confident man you’d always known, sound so wrecked? Your knees weakened “Ok”
He leaned down and picked you up behind the thighs, causing you to have to wrap your legs around his waist. He walked over to your bed and crawled up onto it, laying you down on your back. He pressed a kiss to your lips, licking into your mouth then moved down your body, kissing every spot he knew pulled a response from you. The cool metal of his tags trailing behind the warmth of his lips had you gasping under him.
When he got to your scars he cut his eyes up at you “I love you” he spoke before kissing across them. Your fingers traced the muscles of his shoulders and you could see the shiver he gave.
When he got to the waistband of your shorts he looked up again for permission and you nodded “Go ahead baby” and his eyes fluttered shut, a broad smile slipping onto his face “You called me baby”
He pulled the shorts off your legs then settled himself between your thighs. “Are you sure?” he asked and you nodded “I’m sure Jay” he smiled as he pressed kisses to your thighs. When he rolled the skin between his teeth, sucking a dark mark you whimpered, fingers tangling in his hair.
He moved from leaving hickies on your thighs to your core. He gave a tentative flick of his tongue across your clit and when your back arched off the bed he groaned against you. His hands gripped your thighs, holding your legs open. You looked down and a loud whine left you when he held eye contact with you as he rolled his tongue into you, finding that spot deep inside of you. He pushed one finger into you, then another.
He found a rhythm with this tongue and fingers that had your hips rocking against his face, chasing that high as whines and moans fell from you. He gave a low moan as he worked you towards your orgasm and when his teeth barely flicked across your clit that pushed you over the edge and you came, hard. Your thighs tensed around his head, legs shaking as you rode out the high.
He slowed his movements to the point he was just leisurely kissing your clit, rolling his tongue into you as he did so. Your fingers threaded through his hair, your breaths coming in harsh pants “Feel so good baby, you make me feel so damn good”
He finally pulled back and you tugged him up your body, pulling him into a kiss that let you taste yourself on him. You groaned into his mouth “I need you” he spoke low and you laughed weakly “You need me?” he nodded “Please... Hell I don’t even have to cum…I just want to feel you around me”
You kissed him, letting your nails tease at his back “Let me on top?” and he nodded “Anything”
________________
The two of you shifted so his back was to the bed, he was propped up on the pillows watching you. “Take those jeans off and your boxers” you ordered and he grinned “Yes ma’am” and quickly kicked them off. Your mouth went dry at the sight of Jay Halstead, laying back against your headboard, completely bare and yours to have.
“You want me?” you asked and he nodded “Please” you leaned into the side table and pulled out the box of condoms Sam had put in there. Jay laughed “Does that say lovebirds?” you shrugged “My teammates”
You pulled a condom out then opened it “I have an iud also but precautions” he nodded “Ok” you used one hand to curl around him, teasing at his hard cock and he rolled his bottom lip between his teeth as he watched you. You pulled the condom out and rolled it down his cock.
You moved up the bed and slipped your leg over his waist. “Are you sure this won’t be overwhelming to you?” he asked as you leaned up to line him up with your opening “If it’s too much I’ll stop” he nodded “Ok”
You pressed a kiss to his lips then slipped a hand between you to line him up and slowly slid down his length. A low moan left you both at the feeling of him stretching you around him. Once he was fully sheathed inside of you, leaving you hip to hip you stilled. He pulled you into a kiss. The kisses were wet and messy, hungry and needy. Light whines and whimpers leaving you both while you were giving your body time to adjust to him.
You broke away from his lips and he moved to your chest “Feel so good” he groaned. “Sit up further” you whispered and he pushed himself up. You whined when the action pushed his cock further into you.
You slipped one hand around the back of his neck, fingers playing with the chain resting there, and leaned to brace yourself on the other hand. Your eyes fell down to where he was buried inside of you as you started to move your hips, watching his cock disappear into you. “Fuck Jay, feels like you were made for me” you moaned and he moaned “I was, baby I was. I’m yours, all yours”
His hand came up your side, teasing the skin then squeezed your breast before it came up to your chin, bumping it up so he could catch your lips with his. He started to move his hips with yours. “I love you” he whispered, between kisses. You nodded, moving your hips to take him deeper “Show me”
He nodded, pulling you closer, fingers digging into the soft flesh of your ass. You could feel your orgasm building and when he slipped a hand between you, fingers teasing at your clit it slammed into you. Your walls clenched down hard around him. Your fingers buried themselves in his hair as you rode out the orgasm.
Once your legs stopped shaking you found his lips. His hands gripped your hips before he asked “Can I move you?” his voice coming in a pant. You nodded and he pulled you down to his chest before lifting up both of you and turning so your back was now against the bed.
He lifted your hips off the bed, rolling his hips forward, the head of his cock brushing that spot deep inside of you with every roll. You watched his body move into yours, the way his dog tags moved against his chest, his eyes trying to take in all of you at once. “Want you closer” you whimpered and he nodded, letting his weight drop to his forearms, his lips going to your neck “I love you” he breathed against your skin. Your head fell back against the pillows as he worked you both closer to that peak.
Your eyes rolled back, tears forming in the corner of them from the pleasure rolling through your system “Feel so good Jay..feels so good” that seemed to spur him on. Somehow his thrusts got even deeper, it started feeling even better. Your nails dug into his shoulders, your orgasm threatening to slam into you. “So close baby, can I feel you one more time?” he asked and you nodded.
He smiled against your skin, hips never slowing. His hand slipped between you to rub tight circles onto your clit and when you came, walls fluttering hard around him. He grunted, a low whine of your name leaving his lips before he buried himself inside of you. You felt his hips tense right before he snapped his hips even deeper one more time and his entire body relaxed, you knew he’d found that release as well.
He dropped his head over to your chest, kissing everywhere he could reach. “Was that ok? You feel good?” he asked and you laughed lightly “I feel amazing Jay..” you reached for his jaw and forced his eyes up to yours “and by the way… I love you too”
“You don’t have to say that Deuce, I’m here to stay… I’m going to figure out a way to stay regardless” you smiled “I know but I do Jay. I love you, I never stopped loving you and now I’ve fallen in love with you more than I ever was even before”
“Fuck I love you” he laughed before kissing you again. He looked down where you were still connected “I gotta pull out of you sweetheart and get this condom off” you nodded so he gently pulled out, apologizing when you grimaced lightly “Did I hurt you?” he asked and you shook your head “No, just..” you trailed off because you could feel your face warm. He laughed, “What baby?”
“I don’t like losing that feeling of you, I’m still afraid something is gonna happen to take you or you’ll leave me again” he waved a hand “Let me get cleaned up?” you nodded.
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Once Jay was cleaned up, he handed you his shirt to slip on while he slipped his boxers on before crawling into the bed next to you. He sat down and turned to pull you onto his chest, “I’m not mad you’re doubting me. I deserve it” your heart ached at his words “I don’t mean to Jay..just so much pain..I don’t know how to turn that part of my brain saying you’re gonna leave me off”
He pressed a kiss to the side of your head “I’ll be here to help, every day that passes and I’m here…every day I haven’t left will make it get quieter. One day it’ll be gone because you’re it for me” you turned to look up at him “I love you” he smiled “I love you too” and pressed a kiss to your lips “Can I sleep here?” you glanced at the time “Well it’s two in the morning, I’d say yes” as if on cue you heard Roxie and Samantha’s voice. “Oh fuck I forgot the bra” you laughed and Jay raised an eyebrow “what?” “Long story” you laughed, waiting to hear them holler for you or knock.
“Wonder if lover boy is here?” Samantha asked Roxie and Jay winked at you before hollering “GO TO BED SAM” and both women cracked up laughing “NIGHT LOVEBIRDS” Roxie hollered and by then you were hiding your face in Jay’s chest, holding onto his chain for dear life as you muttered “You’re all insane” he shrugged “Just means I fit in just fine, huh?”
Jay Halstead x Reader (nicknamed Deuce/ Surname of Barlowe but no first name used)
The question: What is gonna happen between you and Jay when the mission is over?
Warnings: cursing, sparring, arguing
You were in your office, a stack of paperwork in front of you and suddenly wishing you were in the field getting shot at. You had to catch up on this part of your job sooner or later so this was the later part considering you’d been putting it off for weeks. You at least were supposed to go to the base later so your team could have time in training with the squad for the remainder of the time the last six of them were here. It was hard to think about. You’d been handed a squad of twelve plus Jay. You were now down to a squad of six, counting Jay.
The remaining members had chosen to stay on until they were no longer needed to back your team. You didn’t like that you were basically over their contracts but you did like the fact that the army couldn’t move them. You could let them go home at any time by cutting them loose. Jay was also included in that.
You rotated your neck in a tight circle as a knock at your closed door gave you a very welcomed reprieve from the paperwork that was starting to feel like it was reproducing every time you turned your back on it.
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“It’s open” you called out and the door cracked open, Jay’s head peeking around the corner “Good lord when’s the last time you caught up on reports?” you glared at him “Do not start! I’ve seen your desk before”
He grinned and walked in further and you saw that he was carrying a tray with two coffees and a bag of food “How did you manage to get past everyone without getting rolled?” he laughed “I already gave them theirs” you nodded “Good decision, Val would’ve just came in here because she knows I would give her half of mine anyways”
He walked over to the table that was in the corner and sat the coffee and food down “Wanna take a break? Travis told me you haven’t eaten yet” you rolled your eyes “Fucking traitor. I miss when you hated each other at times” he shook his head “No, you don’t” “No, I don’t but still…it’s annoying at times you two getting along”
You stood and stretched your arms over your head, a light moan escaping you when your back popped. You hadn’t really registered the sound until you realized a light blush colored Jay’s cheeks. “Oh fuck, you heard that” he nodded “I did” and you felt your own face warm. That was indeed a little awkward, moaning in front of your ex boyfriend.
A silence spread between the two of you before he laughed “Not like it’s the first time I heard you moan. Come eat before your coffee gets cold” you barked out a shocked laugh. “JAY!” and he grinned “What? It’s true” you shook your head and walked over to the table, pulling a chair out to sit down “What did you get anyways”
He went into the bag and held out the breakfast sandwich you normally got from the place around the corner from your office “You called Travis you sneak!” he shrugged “Maybe” you took it from him with a smile “Thank you” “You’re welcome” he replied, pulling one out for himself. When you eyed it he met your eyes “I figured you still didn’t particularly like eating alone”
He sat down across from you and slid one of the coffees to you. “At least I always know how you take your coffee right?” you laughed “That you do”
“So, I’ve been going over final targets with a few contacts along with Nolan” you spoke after a few minutes of comfortable silence that was just the two of you eating. He raised an eyebrow “Final targets?” you nodded “Jay, I can’t keep the six of you here forever. I mean it’ll still be a few more months or better I’m sure but I’d like to give everyone some sort of time table for when this round of drug interdiction will be wrapping. They can only keep one team on it for so long before our faces will spread and we won’t be able to do the job as well. Remember what Voight always said about not getting your picture in the paper? This is worse”
“Makes sense,” he replied, pushing the rest of his sandwich away. Your eyes fell to it “Something wrong with your food?” he shook his head “Guess I’m full” “Oh, ok. Anyways..I thought in the next day or two Nolan and I will loop you, Travis and Davidson in” he nodded, “Yeah, sounds good”
“Something wrong Jay? You seem like you’re suddenly a million miles away” he shrugged, eyes finally finding their way back to your face “Just the idea of leaving” you offered him a smile, hoping he couldn’t tell how much the thought of him leaving again was ripping your heart out “I’m sure Will would be happy to see you” “Yeah” he replied and then stood up, gathering the trash from both of your breakfasts “I’ll um see you at base for training?” you nodded “Yeah, we’ll be there in a couple hours” “Ok, see you then Deuce”
You watched him walk out and felt a bit confused. Shouldn’t he be happy that this whole thing was wrapping? The rest of the squad would be happy to hear. All of you had done amazing work over the last year or better. Why was he freezing you out? Was it because you still hadn’t found Los Guerreros del Illimani? You sighed and stood up, pushing the chair back under the table. Might as well get a few more reports done before you had to head to base.
“What’s up Halstead?” Luke was watching him a little too closely for his liking. “Nothing man” he nodded slowly “You were all hyped when you left earlier to go to the fed office, getting to see Deuce. Now? You look like someone kicked your dog”
Jay sat down on the weight bench, setting the weight down. “She was talking about the final targets. Narrowing down the next few months” “And what is the connection to the attitude change?” Luke asked and Jay shrugged “She’s shoving me out the damn door. We haven’t even hit Los Guerreros del Illimani. I know everyone else may have one foot back home but I don’t”
“Here’s an idea man…tell me if it’s too far out there but why not talk to her?” Jay rolled his eyes “And tell her what exactly? I don’t want to leave? I want to stay in Bolivia even when the rest of you leave, to be close to her? How the hell do I say that after everything?”
“I would say to speak clearly, maintain eye contact” Luke offered and Jay seriously considered punching him then and there and probably would have if he didn’t hear yours and Samantha’s voices drifting down the hall towards the gym. “Well if it isn’t our favorite feds?” Luke laughed and Jay glared at him “Say one word to her and I will break your jaw”
Luke made a motion like he was locking his lips “They’re sealed, coward” then walked back across the way about the time you, Val, Samantha, Marcel and Travis came walking in.
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“So, what happened earlier today?” you were walking a little ways ahead of Travis and Val next to Samantha and just behind Marcel when she questioned why Jay had left in such a hurry. “You didn’t hit him did you?” you laughed “No, that would’ve made sense at least. One minute we were talking then the next he just shut down”
She raised an eyebrow “What were you two talking about?” “Narrowing down the final targets so I could possibly make some sort of time table as to when this round of interdiction would be wrapping” “Oh” she breathed and you suddenly felt like you were on the outside of a joke. “What am I missing?” you asked and she grinned “You’re really not making that connection Deuce?”
You shrugged and she grinned “He was fine up until you talked about everything wrapping. Meaning he was fine up until you mentioned that he would be leaving Bolivia sooner or later, meaning leaving you”
“No, that isn’t it. He’s probably just upset we haven’t found Los Guerreros del Illimani or he’s apprehensive about the fact that he resigned from being a detective before coming here” you offered and she rolled her eyes “For someone so smart, you’re a dumbass when Jay is involved anymore. I know when he was first here he was a dick. I’m not blind but that man has been busting his ass to change. He’s been trying to be a better man, he’s been a better man. I think he either never fell out of love with you or he’s back in love with you or he’s fully in love with you this time”
You shook your head “No, he isn’t… he can’t be” “And why not?” she asked as Marcel opened the gym door and whistled “Come on you two” you grinned “Eager to get your ass kicked in front of the army squad?”
You laughed as Travis and Luke went blow for blow. They were sparring and you were enjoying just watching them. You stood next to Val and winced when Travis slammed Luke down onto the mat “Damn Bailey, I felt that one”
Val laughed “I swear you bunch are insane” you winked at her “I haven’t gone my turn yet” you cut your eyes at Jay and he smiled slightly “Oh no ma’am. I am not going against you”
You pouted slightly “You’re no fun” then looked over at Jones “What about?” he shrugged “Sure, why not?” you saw Jay raise an eyebrow at Jones and didn’t know what that was about but chose to ignore it. You whistled at Travis as him and Davidson called it “Next go is me and Jones”
He grinned “Attagirl, get your ass in here” you laughed and hopped into the mat, Jones across from you “Well come on big boy, I ain't got all day”
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Jay was trying to decide whether or not he was about to commit murder. You could handle yourself. He knew that. You were perfectly capable in a fight. He stood next to Marcel, his arms crossed and could feel the muscle in his jaw clench harder every time Jones managed to land a hit on you. “Son of bitch” he muttered under his breath and Marcel chuckled “She’s got this”
“I know,” Jay replied, eyes never leaving you. You went back at Jones, blow for blow but when Jones managed to flip you, your back slamming into the mat and Jones moved like he wasn’t going to give you time to get up? Jay spoke without thinking “Back up”
Every set of eyes in the gym flew towards Jay including yours and you looked pissed. “What the fuck?” you growled as you caught Jones behind the knee and when he went down, used your legs to flip him into a pin. You rolled to push yourself up then walked over to Jay “We need to talk”
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You waved a hand at Marcel “Figure out who to go against” then led Jay across the gym, hoping everyone would give the two of you a minute. You spun to face him once you were certain you were far enough away that everyone couldn’t overhear “What was that Jay? You knew Jones wouldn’t actually hurt me”
“I know but..” he tried but you cut him off “No but, you do not undermine me as an agent or simply as a woman like that. Do you think anyone we go after would back off in a situation like that?”
He dropped his gaze so you took a step closer “Jay?” he raised his eyes to you “No, they wouldn’t” “No, they wouldn’t. I train with men because I go against men. Same reason Sam trains against men. Now, what is going on with you Jay? You walked out of my office this morning and now this? We were doing good or I thought we were anyways”
“I’m sorry sweetheart” you nodded slowly, ignoring what he’d just called you “Is it because you know I have the scars that aren’t quite rough yet?” he shook his head “No, it’s just…you know what? Maybe it is that”
“I don’t believe you or believe that” you spoke low. You lifted one of your hands and had to stop yourself halfway before you put it on his chest. He stared at your hand as you dropped it. “I miss you” he spoke so low you barely caught it. “What?” you asked and he shrugged “I miss you, that’s what was wrong this morning. What’s wrong now. I’m here but I’m apparently supposed to be halfway out of the door”
“Jay..” he took a step closer, and you shook your head “Our entire team is ten feet away, now isn’t the time for us to have a conversation that resembles anything near the direction this one is going in”
He nodded slowly “Is that you telling me you don’t want to have that conversation at all?” he was giving you an out, an option to bow out with an audience where it didn’t get weird. “Jay I don’t want to break my own heart again” you admitted and he sighed, looking across the gym where, despite the fact that Marcel and Hernandez was sparring, it was obvious damn near everyone was paying attention to the two of you. Couldn’t really blame them. Like action soap opera.
“I’d rather let Travis kill me here and now and bury me in a shallow grave than ever hurt you again” he whispered, eyes boring into yours. You felt your heart flip. “Jay, we can’t afford to be distracted” he nodded “Ok, but know anything you wanted from me? I’d give to you here and now”
“I’m not saying we won’t have that conversation, I’m just saying it won’t be today Jay” you looked up at him and the smile he gave you made your face flush with warmth “I’ll be here,any time you want to talk”
“Ok, so can I go spar now?” you asked and he grinned “Yeah” you laughed “Wanna spar me?” he let his eyes trail over you and god help you could practically feel his touch despite everything “I don’t think that’s a good idea” Your eyebrows shot up “Why?” “Do you think it’s a good idea for either of us to pin the other?” he asked and that pulled a shocked laugh out of you, mainly from the mental image of Jay’s body pressing into yours. The memory caused quite a few different physical reactions. He grinned when you shrugged “Good point”
The two of you walked back over and Val cut her eyes at you “We good?” you nodded “Five by five. Let’s get it”
Jay watched as you walked into the conference room. You had texted him to let him know you and Travis were the only ones coming to the base so that the two of you along with him and Davidson could meet with Nolan.
You smiled slightly when you realized his attention was on you. Nolan cut his eyes up as you walked into the room “Barlowe, you wanna take the reins and explain to your boys what you’ve decided?” you laughed “I don’t know how they feel about getting called my boys”
“I am your boy” Travis shrugged. “I’m cool with it” Davidson agreed and Jay grinned “Anything you call me I’ll answer to” you shook your head “In that case, let's get down to it”
_________________________
All in all it would take another couple months at minimum. Nolan had long since excused himself. You were fairly certain you could tell that asshole to sign off on damn near anything and he would at this point. “So, you three up for it?” you asked and they all nodded “We’ve come this far. Let’s take it across the finish line” Davidson teased with a wink.
“You know I’m following you come hell or high water” Travis told you and you smiled “Oh I know that” you looked at Jay and he nodded “You’ve got me however long you want me” that felt like it had more than one meaning to his words. Travis caught your eye and raised an eyebrow before patting Davidson on the shoulder “Come on man, lets go talk to Hernandez about him and Red and what we’ll be needing them to do”
“Let him know Red has a big role in these last few” you told Travis who winked at you “I got you” as he led Luke out of the room.
______________________
Once it was just the two of you, you turned to face Jay and waved a hand towards the door “One thing I’ve noticed you and Travis have in common is that you’re both about as subtle as a brick to the face at times”
He shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest “Sorry?” you nodded “What was that about me having you as long as I want you?” he shrugged again “Just saying”
You sighed and walked over to the table, sitting on the edge of it and moving back far enough to let your feet dangle slightly. Jay watched you like he wanted to move closer but remained rooted to the spot “We need to talk before any more missions. I don’t need you distracted going into the field because if something happens to you because of me? Jay I can’t face Will knowing that”
“Baby..shit Deuce sorry” he corrected himself as soon as he called you baby but just for that second your heart leapt into your throat. You motioned for him to walk closer so he did, stopping just shy of the point of standing between your legs. You looked up at him “Talk to me, about whatever it was you needed to say in the gym the other day. Get it out and in the air now while we’re in a safe environment so we can tackle it”
He scrubbed a hand down his face and laughed lightly “When did you get to be so level headed?” you shrugged “While I was in the hospital I had to meet with a shrink daily as part of my therapy to be released once I met the physical side of discharge standards”
“Ok...Deuce…I um..” he stammered and you reached out to grab his hand and his eyes widened at the contact. You pulled him a little closer and he nearly stumbled which caused you to laugh “Jesus christ, when did Jay Halstead get to the point of being nervous around a woman?”
He bought his other hand up and almost touched the side of your face but froze, looking to you for permission. You gave the smallest of nods so he gently cupped the side of your face “Apparently you have that power over me” you laughed “Well I’m just me Jay…talk”
You could feel his thumb tracing circles onto your cheek as he held your face but if it calmed him enough he could get whatever it was he needed to get out you’d let him. “I don’t want to leave Bolivia. I want to stay here” you knew he felt when you swallowed hard “I don’t understand? You’re telling me you’re becoming a lifer this go round in the army?”
He shook his head “I don’t want to leave you” “Jay..” you started but he cut you off “Please..let me get this out then you can cuss me, hit me..yell..whatever”
“Ok” you relented and he stepped closer, resting his hand next to your hip on the table “I never loved you like I should have before. I don’t know why, I don’t have a good explanation for it because there isn’t a good enough reason. I let you walk away without a fight. I missed you so damn much after that, I shouldn’t have tried to move on..that was wrong on so many levels..lying to you? That was wrong and the fact that I just I wanted you so damn bad doesn’t justify that… then the way I treated you when I first got here? There’s nothing I can do to make up for it. I feel like I only ever really knew half of you and I loved that half but now? The time I’ve been here, been at your side and seen this part of you? I’ve gotten to fall in love with all of you. I don’t deserve another chance with you but I love you, I’m in love with you…the thought of leaving you again? Going back to Chicago and leaving you here? I can’t face that without at least trying. I’ll do whatever I have to do to stay, to prove myself to you if it’s the last thing I do if you’ll have me”
Jay stood there, one hand holding your face, the other resting next to your hip after spilling his heart out. Your wide eyes hadn’t moved from his face and he could feel your pulse racing against his pinkie that had slipped down your jaw. Say something he silently begged, say anything, yell at me. Cuss me out…come on baby don’t shut down.
He spoke your name softly, barely above a whisper. He didn’t want to spook you. He had expected so many things, so many reactions… he had not expected for you to nod once, almost as if it was more to yourself than to him before you muttered “Fuck it” and your hand moved up to the front of his shirt, pulling him down to you.
You pulled Jay down to you, one hand going to his chest and the other around the back of his neck. You let your lips gently brush against his, just barely a tease, testing the waters after so much had happened. You could feel a slight tremor in his shoulders and you laughed against his lips. You pulled back from his lips and looked up at him “Are you ok?” he nodded “Yeah, I’m perfect” and pulled you back to him, this time the kiss wasn’t tentative. You let your lips crash against his, a light whine leaving you when you felt his tongue flick out asking for access and you parted your lips to allow it.
When he rolled his tongue into your mouth you pulled him closer which put him stepping directly between your legs. You felt his hand that had been resting on the table going to your hip, tugging you towards the end of the table. You gasped lightly but knew he wouldn’t let you fall off. When the need for air overwhelmed the need for each other you pulled him down and turned his head to the side so your lips could tease across his jaw and down his neck, working at the skin you knew so well even now.
He shifted closer and you grinned when he let out a light sound that was damn near a whimper when you nipped at his pulse point. The sound of boots approaching the door made you jump apart, a laugh escaping you when you saw him have to adjust the front of his pants.
You leapt off the table, adjusting your clothes, both of you putting some distance between each other before Travis and Davidson stepped back in. Travis looked between you and Jay, a smirk slipping onto his face “Um, you good to go Deuce or you need a few more minutes here at the base to plan?”
You glared at him “No, I’m good Bailey” he was practically gnawing on his bottom lip to not laugh. You nodded to Davidson “See you later Luke” then looked back at Jay “Bye Jay” “Um.. bye Deuce” he stammered slightly and you saw a light blush just barely grace his cheeks which caused your own face to warm. Jesus Travis was going to call you out.
___________________
“You kissed him, didn’t you?” Travis asked the moment the two of you were back in the suv headed to the office. You opened your mouth then clamped it shut and shrugged. He busted out laughing “That poor man was stammering and stumbling! Christ woman! I’m not getting into your personal life but give him recoup time if you plan to do anything else!” “TRAVIS BAILEY!” you scolded which only made him laugh harder.
Jay Halstead x Reader (nicknamed Deuce/ Surname of Barlowe but no first name used)
The distance between you and Jay is starting to not exist any more
Warnings: Mentions of the aftermath of a flood
“So, Miss Franklin and Rex will be leaving us today” you announced as you walked into the conference room that had pretty much become command central. The squad clapped along with your team. Ari smiled “It was an honor working with your team” you pulled her into a hug “Believe me, it was all ours. Rex has inspired me to officially give in and let them assign us a K9 to our team, even if it means Marcel will have to get some extra training done”
She grinned at Marcel “It’s not that hard really, just bonding with them is really important” he smiled “Thanks, I’ll remember that” you nodded “Now that is over with, the rest of us are gonna be rolling out to assist rescue efforts with the recent flooding. I know not exactly what we’ve been up to but they need hands and when Nolan asked I wasn’t exactly going to turn down when its people in need”
“You never have,” Jay said with a smile from where he was leaning against the wall behind you, nursing a cup of coffee. You cut your eyes back at him “Someone else I know has went out on a limb or two to help people in need so don’t act like I’m the only one who sticks her neck out” “If you two don’t quit, I’ll get the damn rolled up newspaper” Travis teased and everyone cracked up laughing.
You shook your head “Ok, everyone grab your gear, we'll meet in a couple hours and roll out. You’re dismissed and Ari, have a good flight home”
“Thank you, I’ll text you when I land to let you know” she replied and you nodded “Thank you, everyone else see you when we roll”
After they all cleared out leaving just the three of you, you turned to face Travis, pointing a finger at Jay ”In my defense he started it” you offered and Travis shook his head, waving a hand at Jay “He follows you around like a puppy! I’m fairly certain you could get him to heel at this point” you looked at Jay, a smirk slipping onto your face and he shook his head “Don’t you dare” you shrugged “I had to try”
Travis laughed “Deuce, ease up on the man” you winked at him “I’ll try” he shook his head “Come on, we gotta round up our gear too” you nodded and pushed off the wall to follow him. Jay was holding the door open with one hand and his coffee in the other so you smiled at him “See you soon?” he nodded “See you soon” you grinned and grabbed the coffee out of his hand as you slipped out the door. “Barlowe!” he laughed and you winked at him “Not like I haven’t had your germs before and I haven’t had caffeine yet today”
“In that case feel free, see you when we roll” he relented easily, watching you with a smile as you walked away, sipping on his coffee. Travis cut his eyes at you once the two of you were down the hall “Really Deuce? Just kiss the man already and get it over with at this point” you shook your head “I know how he takes his coffee, I take mine just like it”
“I take my coffee like Davidson does, that don’t mean I’m stealing his cup” he teased and you shrugged “Doesn’t mean anything. Val has stolen my coffee before” he nodded “That’s because if she ever leaves me I know it’s for you!”
Things had gotten a lot better between you and Jay. Somehow the light banter you could never find before had found its way between the two of you now, it almost felt like you were falling for him for the first time while already having been in love with him. Like the two of you were now getting to know each other wholly and instead of turning away, all your parts were fitting together.
You’d never admit it, you knew when you found Los Guerreros del Illimani his contract would more than likely come up as well. Then he’d go home to Chicago, you could let yourself be his friend again. You could give yourself that at least but only that. You couldn’t lose him again, it was better this way.
“Remind me again why, as the person who is in charge of this crew, I can't ride WHERE I WANT?” you laughed over the phone and Travis shot back “Because dear, Davidson is riding with me. We have both second in commands in one ride so I figured why not put both of our fearless leaders in one ride”
You groaned, your head falling back on the seat. Jay was driving the humvee, you were in the passenger seat. Marcel was with you, Samantha with Travis while the remaining members of the squad were split between the two vehicles. “Fine Bailey but I’m going to get your wife to kick your ass later because we all know she loves me more”
“Oh I know, have fun. See ya when we get there” he hung up and you shook your head, sliding your phone back into the pocket on your leg. Jay cut his eyes at you “Come on now, I’m not that bad of a driver”
You turned to look at him “Maybe not but I’m used to being in the same rig as Trav. This is a little strange, you have to admit that would even throw you off” He nodded, eyes turning back to the road “Fair enough but I promise you Luke will do everything in his power to get him there in one piece and something has to happen to me before it happens to you”
“That’s one thing I know Jay, even at the worst between us I knew you would never have let anything physically happen to me if you could stop it” a small smile slipped onto his face “Good to know”
Marcel whistled from the backseat to get your attention so you leaned over slightly to look back at him “What’s up?” “How are we dividing forces when we get there?” you shrugged “Depends on where we’re needed, they just need more boots on the dirt. We’re not currently on anything and more than capable so I threw our hats in the rings. With the combined talent pool I figured we could help out for a couple days”
“Sounds good enough to me, hell it’ll be a break to not be dodging bullets” Marcel teased and Jay chuckled low “Tell me about it” you cut your eyes up at him considering you were leaned over damn near on his shoulder “Not like it’s any of ours first rodeo with dodging bullets now is it Halstead?” he shrugged “You got me there”
__________________
Jay watched you as you shifted sideways in your seat to continue talking to Marcel. Your head was almost on his shoulder and god a part of him prayed you would just move a little closer, feel comfortable enough to lay over on him as he drove.
Things were getting better between the two of you, a lot better. Things like you stealing his coffee? It shouldn’t make his heart threaten to burst out of his chest, yet it did. The fact that his watch was still sitting on your wrist shouldn’t tug such a smile onto his face yet every time he looked at it, it did.
You tilted your head up to look at him and he cut his eyes down at you “What?” you laughed “I was just gonna say your facial hair has a lot of red in it. I kind of like it” your hand reached up like you were going to touch his jaw but you stopped halfway like you realized what you were doing and let it drop back.
He smiled “Good to know, any preference on how I should wear it?” he asked with a raised eyebrow and you shrugged “Your face Jay, I just like how when it starts to grow and especially when the sun hits it you can see the bit of red. Like how your eyes go between different shades of blue”
Marcel cleared his throat and your eyes got wide, like you just realized what you were doing. You smiled sheepishly and quickly sat up. You shrugged once more, “Just saying” then turned to talk to Marcel and Jones over your shoulder.
You hadn’t really said anything to Jay since Marcel had called you out without calling you out. You hadn’t meant to say everything you said, you just liked Jay’s facial hair. It was an observation. You hadn’t meant to get loose lips. Very professional of the SSA.
When you rolled up to where you were meeting the response team Jay parked and cut his eyes at you “We good?” you nodded “We’re good” and climbed out of the humvee.
__________________
The response team was led by local officials so you reported to Amari Bello. You walked up with Travis and Jay on either side of you and the rest of the squad and team spread out “Mr Bello?” he looked up and smiled “Agent Barlowe?” you nodded “Yes sir, we have a crew here that are trained for quite a few different areas and we’re willing to jump in wherever you need us”
“We appreciate the help” he replied, shaking your hand and motioning for you to follow him.
___________________
Travis went with Davidson and a couple others to help with active search and rescue. You were working triage tents to try to help reunite families alongside Samantha, Jones and a couple others while Jay and Marcel had gone with a crew that had begun clean up efforts to start getting roads traversable.
You walked past one cot and there was a little girl crying. You squatted down next to her “Hey sweetie, what’s your name?” “Zuri” she replied in a small voice. “Ok Zuri, I’m Y/N but everyone calls me Deuce. Have you found your parents yet?” she shook her head so you held out your hand “Want to come with me and we’ll go check and see if maybe they’re in a different location looking for you?”
She nodded and put her hand in yours so you stood, leading her through the tent. “It’s ok Zuri, I won’t leave you until we find them”
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Jay’s team made it back to the base camp a few hours later. He spotted Travis’s team pulling up too. You stood with a little girl on your hip, watching the jeep Travis was driving carefully. A couple jumped out of the jeep and the little girl in your arms’ entire face lit up. You laughed and sat her down on her feet as she ran to the couple.
Travis walked over to you as Jay parked and climbed out the jeep his team had been given. “Guess you found her parents?” he asked and you smiled “Yup, me and miss Zuri have been hanging out for a couple hours. I happened to radio Trav with her parents' names. Lo and behold he had them already”
You turned to look at him and nodded towards his team “Did you all get the roads Bello asked to be cleared open?” he nodded “It wasn’t exactly a walk in the park and we killed two chainsaws but we managed” you laughed “Good boy, come on. We still have some work to do before we lose sunlight” you walked off, talking with Samantha.
He turned to follow you and heard Travis make a sound under his breath like an owner clicking their tongue to call their dog and shook his head. “Fuck you Bailey” he muttered and Travis busted out laughing then nudged him “Naw man, it’s cute. A lot better than things were between you two. Glad I didn’t have to kill you yet. Don’t fuck up”
Jay watched you talking with everyone, falling in where you were needed and shook his head “I’ll dig you the hole if I do Travis, I promise you that” he wouldn’t hurt you again, not if it was within his power to keep from doing it. You meant far too much to him. He’d made one too many mistakes, only loved half of you. Now that he’d finally gotten to see all of you, know all of you? He was in love with every last part of you and he wasn’t about to hurt you again.
Your team was sharing a tent with what was left with Jay’s squad. Not that big of a deal. There were bed rolls from wall to wall of the tent because everyone pretty much decided that was the best way to go because they took up less space than cots, plus the infirmary area needed cots just in case more than any of you did.
You were half asleep next to Samantha and turned on your other side. Jay’s back was to you but he was next to you. It was just how bed rolls had gotten laid out. Travis was to your head. You yawned and curled further into the bedroll, willing a little bit of sleep. You hadn’t thought you were loud until Travis whispered “You good Deuce? Your side isn’t hurting is it?”
“No, I’m good Trav” you replied and he nodded, laying back down.
________________
Jay wasn’t fully asleep so he’d heard you shifting around. He figured you were just trying to get comfortable until Travis asked if your side was hurting. A few different instances of you getting anxious and running a hand down your side flashed through his mind. He’d never thought to ask about lasting injuries.
He turned over and you were actually still facing him. “You ok?” he asked as quietly as possible. You nodded, cutting your eyes up at Travis before saying “Shrapnel was in my side. It left some scarring, it doesn’t really bother me. It’s just a little uncomfortable because it hasn’t been long enough for the scars to get rough yet”
He nodded slowly “I’m sorry I didn’t ask” and a small smile slipped onto your face “It’s ok” “No it’s not” he replied and you shook your head “You’re human Jay, I know that”
“Want my bedroll? I’ll sleep on the ground” he offered and you glared at him long enough he grinned “Easy Deuce, don’t turn me to stone. I was just offering” and was rewarded with a light laugh falling from you “I’m good Jay, get some sleep” he nodded “Ok, night” “Night Jay” you turned back over and scooted closer to Samantha.
He watched you for a second then turned back over himself.
Headed home you were sitting in the backseat while Jones drove and Marcel rode shotgun. Samantha had decided she wanted to ride with you and was sitting near the door so you were shoved in the middle of her and Jay. He had moved himself as close to the door as possible to give you room. She however was currently asleep on your shoulder.
“Your team is literally a family” he observed and you nodded “That we are” he smiled “I’m glad you had them”
You nodded again, cutting your eyes at him. God you were gonna miss this when you found Los Guerreros del Illimani and he was gone again. It had taken so much to start to fix this broken part of you, to feel whole. At least you would part as friends this time, right?
________________
Jay noticed the way your face fell and wanted so bad to ask what was wrong but knew now was not the time. Everyone was content for once. You were exhausted but it was a weariness from helping instead of fighting. It was a bit better for the mind to have some lightness along with the heaviness all of you had faced.
_______________
When all of you got back to La Paz you went to the base. You trudged out the humvee, stretching your sore limbs. Samantha grinned sheepishly at you “Sorry Deuce” “No worries” you told her and she laughed “I’ll braid your hair for the next week for you” you raised an eyebrow “In that case? Consider me your pillow”
You followed the line of people inside. Franklin was the first in a line of contracts that would be coming up soon. You hadn’t expected the extensions they had taken so it wasn’t like you were upset with them, you would miss them all yeah but you were glad so far everyone was still mainly in one piece.
You looked over at Jay and felt your heart dip, ok maybe you were upset at the thought of one particular contract coming up. You couldn’t exactly make him stay in Bolivia, he had no reason to. You couldn’t allow yourself to fall back into being with him, so that left you here. In some weird limbo, where you wanted him but couldn’t let yourself admit it for fear of falling and not getting caught, again.
Jay Halstead x Reader (nicknamed Deuce/ Surname of Barlowe but no first name used)
You make good on your offer to buy the first round when everyone gets back to La Paz
Warnings: I think the only possible warnings for this one could be cursing?
“So, do we like Jay now?” Roxie was laying across the foot of your bed watching as you pulled boots on. You shrugged “I don’t know, I never told any of you to form an opinion about him” she nodded slowly “Yeah but he was treating you badly so we kind of based our opinion off of that but from what I understand he’s taken the blame for everything he’s done. He took a bullet for Trav and he’s just owning his shit”
You nodded because honestly, everything she’d just said was true. Jay was owning all his blame and he had indeed taken a bullet for Travis. If you were being honest you’d been thinking a little too much about what could have happened if that shot would’ve been angled just slightly different. You could have lost Jay. He wasn’t even actually yours but the thought of that? It crushed your heart to think he could have died with the way things were currently between the two of you. “I just want a clean slate. I’m tired of holding onto the pain, the past. This is more for me than for him”
“I get that, it’s good that you’ve gotten to this point…for both of you” you stopped mid brushing your hair and raised an eyebrow “Who are you and what have you done with my Roxie?” she laughed “Oh hush, come here and I’ll help with that hair” you grinned and passed your brush over “I appreciate it ma’am”
It wasn’t like tonight was some big occasion. All of you simply had down time so you were taking advantage. Your team and some of the squad were going to meet up at a bar your team favored to get some drinks. You invited Jay because for one it would have been just a little weird inviting his squad and not him and for two you meant it when you said a clean slate. You were exhausted from holding onto the past.
You laughed as you climbed out of the truck, Samantha was already singing along with the music blaring from the bars nearby. She was like you, never drank over one or two drinks. She just enjoyed music. Always had. Roxie laughed “How many of the squad are coming out?” you pulled your phone out and scrolled through the texts of people saying they were coming “Um, counting Jay? Six”
“Deuce?” you turned towards Travis’s voice and raised an eyebrow when his attention was not on your face “Sup Trav?” his eyes was on your left wrist and it was only then you realized you’d failed to take Jay’s watch off “Oh fuck” you cursed and he grinned “Yeah, and it’s too late to take it off” you followed his line of sight to see that the crew from the squad was pulling up. You groaned under your breath “Maybe he won't notice?” Valarie laughed “Oh he may not say anything but he’ll notice”
The suv parked and they all started unloading. Luke grinned in your direction the moment his feet hit the pavement “Damn you clean up pretty boss lady” you rolled your eyes “Easy Davidson” one by one they all unloaded until Jay finally walked around from the driver’s seat. He was wearing jeans and a black t-shirt. It had been a little too long since you saw him in civilian clothes and it didn’t help that the shirt he’d picked hugged his shoulders deliciously. Nope, you were totally not drooling over your ex, you were just admiring that he looked nice. Right? You turned your attention to Ari and smiled “Franklin! I’m loving the fact that you’re letting the curls loose tonight babe” she laughed “Thank you!” as all of you headed inside.
______________________
“So, was it an intentional thing here or did they accidentally leave us alone?” Jay asked after he noticed the fact that everyone else was dancing, at the bar or taking up the two pool tables in the corner. You laughed across from him “Well, my bunch will circle back to try to talk me into playing or dancing soon. Val will ditch Trav after a song or two and drag me out”
He laughed, spinning his beer lazily around in his hands. This seemed surreal. You were here, talking to him. You looked so damn beautiful. You had your hair down in that way that melted him on the spot, the shirt you wore didn’t even show anything but the way it skimmed your curves made his mouth go dry and those damn jeans? He knew he shouldn’t be looking at you like that but you looked so damn relaxed tonight, happier than he had seen you in longer than he could remember.
Had holding onto the past, the pain he’d caused you affected your day to day that badly? And if it did, why the hell had you seen fit to give him any sort of clean slate. You turned to watch Travis and Valarie dance, your left hand reaching out for your beer and he felt his heart flip when he realized his watch still sat on your wrist. You were still wearing it.
It didn’t mean anything. You were just in need of a watch. That’s all it was. That’s what he told himself but it still warmed something inside of him to see something of his on you. Almost like you were…nope he wasn’t going there. You weren’t his, you didn’t want him. Not like that anyways and that was ok. You were here, you were talking to him and damn that meant everything to him.
“So, how is it to have some downtime? Have you talked to Will?” you asked, turning back towards him and he nodded “I did. He’s doing good in Seattle. Nat’s good, Owen is getting big. How about you? How’s Logan and Hannah?” you smiled “They’re good, Leanna and Jake are both healthy and growing good. Logan said Chicago is just like we left it. Insane and cold as hell”
Val came sliding up to the table, tugging Travis behind her “What are you two doing?” She asked and you tore your eyes away from Jay to put your full attention on her “Currently talking about our brothers back stateside” she laughed “Fun, you two are just the life of the party aren’t ya?” Travis shook his head, slipping his arms around her waist “She’s not hitting him baby. It’s an improvement”
You gasped “I hit him one time! One!” Jay grinned at Travis now teasing you over hitting him. Travis cut his eyes at Jay “She split your lip, didn’t she?” Jay grinned “She did” and you spun to face him, eyes wide “You lying liar! Jay Halstead! You know I only re split your lip! You and Travis fucked each other up!” he shrugged, a smirk playing on his lips at seeing you fighting to keep a smile off your face “Somehow though your punch just felt a little…” “Sharper?” Travis offered and Jay snapped his fingers “Sharper! That’s the word”
You shook your head “I am offended” and slid off the stool, pulling Val out of Travis’s arms “For that? You two are now stuck together. I’m gonna go dance with Val. Have fun and try to behave”
Jay watched you as you pulled Val towards the dance floor, trying his best to keep a smile off his face until Travis sat down and kicked his boot under the table “Go ahead and grin you idiot. I won’t tell her just this once”
Jay felt a light blush warm his cheeks “I’m not trying to get back with her or anything Bailey so don’t get the wrong idea… it’s just nice to be able to be around her” Travis nodded slowly, looking over to where you were dipping Valarie, both of you laughing “I get it, maybe I read you wrong. Maybe you’re not as much of a bastard as I originally thought. Maybe you were really just being the world’s biggest fucking idiot” Jay nodded, eyes never leaving you “I can confirm I was indeed being the world’s biggest fucking idiot”
______________________
Somehow you’d gotten talked into playing pool with Franklin, Davidson and Marcel. The problem was? You sort of sucked at pool. “How can someone who I have seen kick ass at damn near everything not be able to hit a freaking ball in a line?” Davidson groaned and you shrugged “My bad? I’ve had a few people attempt to teach me but I’ve just never quite picked it up. Wanna play darts? I’m good at darts”
“She’s selling herself short, she kicks my ass at darts” Jay spoke from the table one over where he, Travis, Val and Roxie were playing. Davidson raised an eyebrow “In that case? Hell no. I’m not playing darts with someone who kicks the sniper’s ass” you grinned and cut your eyes at Jay “Damn you, he would’ve had to buy the next round”
Jay winked at you “Isn’t like you’re drinking alcohol. You’re on to what? Strawberry lemonade or cherry coke?” you crossed your arms “It’s a virgin mojito thank you very much” he raised his hands “Apologies boss lady. I’ll buy your next round since I cost ya. Deal?” you nodded slowly “You buy everyone’s next round and we’ll call it even since I did buy your squad’s first round” he grinned “You bought their first round for taking out that gunner”
You nodded “So, is that you not taking the deal Halstead?” he shook his head “Fine, next round’s on me” Jones laughed from where he was sitting nearby at a table “I like it better when those two are getting along. No one has to pay for their drinks” and everyone cracked up laughing at that.
“Ok boys and girls. Time to call it a night” it was your job to ensure everyone made it back to where they were supposed to be in one piece. No one had consumed over three drinks, you’d made sure everyone was halfway sober and Jay had already drank a couple cups of coffee before you ever let him have the keys back to the suv they’d driven to the bar.
You put the keys in Jay’s hand and looked up at him “Shoot me a text once you’re back on base so I know you’re all accounted for, please” he nodded “Of course” you held his eyes for a moment then smiled “I had fun tonight Jay. It was nice spending time with you without anything else, you know?”
You tried to ignore just how much your heart flipped when he smiled at you “I had fun too, especially since you’re actually talking to me now instead of at me” you laughed and shoved his chest playfully “So you’re saying you didn’t deserve it?” he shook his head “Oh no. I deserved it and worse. I’m just thankful that you’re the type of woman you are” you shook your head “I’m nothing special Halstead” he took a step closer and when he raised his hand to push your hair back from your face for the first time in quite a while you found yourself not stiffening at his touch, instead it was a fight to not lean into it “I blame myself for you thinking that but if there’s any damn justice in this world, we’ll take down the sons of bitches that hurt you and maybe just maybe you’ll end up seeing just how amazing you are”
You swallowed hard and smiled “Night Jay” “Goodnight” he replied and stepped back then whistled at the squad “All right! Load up!”
You watched him wrangle the squad into the suv but your attention was grabbed by Samantha jumping onto your back “Oh Deucey!!” you laughed as she wrapped her legs around your waist “You damn spider monkey!” she leaned over and pressed a kiss to your temple “But you love me” you shook your head “That I do” and walked towards the truck, with her singing along with the music still drifting out the bar.
_____________________
“So, you’re falling for her all over again huh?” Luke asked Jay once they had pulled out of the parking lot of the bar. Jay shook his head “Davidson, you gossip a lot for a man, you know that?” he grinned “Gotta have some fun somehow. Besides, I got eyes”
Jay shook his head again, he didn’t know how to answer the question because he didn’t feel like he had the right to fall for you. He still loved you but at the same time felt like he’d only ever known half of you. It was like you’d either held it back or he’d just not seen it and now he was seeing every part of you and god he loved it all.
“That’s what I figured” Luke laughed at his silence and Jay punched his arm closest to him “If you don’t shut up” Luke grinned “My lips are sealed man but the puppy eyes are gonna give ya away” “She deserves someone better than me” Jay offered and Luke nodded slowly “Have you ever considered that maybe just maybe you’re becoming a better man for her?”
“And don’t say what she deserves. She is capable of her own decision making!” Franklin added, popping up between them and Jay jumped “Son of a bitch Ari! I thought you were asleep” she grinned “I was listening” he rolled his eyes “Sound off, who else was listening”
“Me” Jones’s voice cut in and a couple more. Jay seriously considered just running the suv into something hard then and there. “No one says any damn thing outside this car. That’s an order”
“But she technically outranks you” Luke teased and Jay cut his eyes at him with a glare “Kidding man, kidding”
_______________________
You walked into your bedroom, kicking your boots off as a text came through to your phone. You clicked it to see Jay’s name. Back on base, mainly in one piece You raised an eyebrow and replied Mainly? Do I wanna know? A laugh falling from you when he replied Probably not, Luke is worse than someone’s grandma with gossip
You shook your head and replied Ok then, have a good night. Get some rest You laid your phone down and started to strip so you could shower but one last text came through Good night Deuce. Thanks for letting me come out tonight
You smiled at the text then plugged your phone in. You needed a shower and some sleep. Maybe with you and Jay letting go of some things, moving forward would be easier on the upcoming missions. There was a time you and him barely had to say a word to know what the other was thinking and given the fact that you were like that with Travis, that would make everything easier on everyone. That was the reason why you wanted things to be ok with Jay, to make everyone’s lives easier. Not because it felt so much better being able to smile around him instead of feeling an ache buried deep inside of you just looking at him.
Nothing would erase the past but you could move towards the future without letting it affect the present and that was a start.
Jay Halstead x Reader (nicknamed Deuce/ Surname of Barlowe but no first name used)
Warnings: This will be a much heavier fic than normal. Warnings will be updated by part, PLEASE read the warnings!! Your mental health matters more than anything and I don’t want to accidentally trigger anything for anyone! ❤️
You were with Jay for so long. You were head over heels but never quite good enough for him to commit fully to. You learned that the hard way after you visit your family in Chicago and bump into him. You tuck tail back to the other side of the world. Months later your team is detailed to work with an army squad, taking on cartels. You never would’ve guessed the leader of the squad assigned to you would be none other than the man who ripped your heart to shreds one too many times. Can things ever work between the two of you?
Jay Halstead x Reader (nicknamed Deuce/ Surname of Barlowe but no first name used)
A semi successful mission, a bullet wound and a clean slate
Warnings: mention of gun violence, grenades, someone being injured and bleeding and I think thats it for once?
You had to admire the humor in the fact that you were standing between Jay and Travis, both men six feet tall, physically imposing and fully geared out yet waiting on you to make the final call moving forward with the next step in this mission. “I’ll take a team to move in from the south, Trav will move in from the north.” you spoke, trailing your finger over the map that was in front of you.
Jay leaned over your shoulder to motion to some vantage points “Need to watch out for here and here. Good areas for sniper nests” you looked up at him considering his movement had put him nearly folded over you, the heat from his body seeping into yours. You nodded slowly “Ok, everyone heard Halstead, steer clear of these areas by any means possible”
Jay gave a small nod and moved away from you, which left you feeling a little colder despite the fact that you knew you shouldn’t have even allowed him to get that close to begin with. You took a breath and looked at Travis “We’ll time it just right” then glanced down at your watch and let out a string of curses “What’s wrong?” Travis asked as you snatched the watch off your wrist “This damned thing is dead” you tapped it a couple times hoping the battery compartment was just loose like it had been a few times before but nope, it was well and truly gone this go around.
“Fuck” you cursed, tossing it into the nearest bin. “Well anyone got a spare watch by chance?” you joked, knowing no one did but also knowing there wasn’t anywhere within eighty miles you could get a wrist watch either. Not like you could pull your cell out to keep an eye on minutes.
Jay called your name and when you looked up he was holding his watch out. “Jay I was joking” you laughed. He shrugged “It’s a lot newer than the one you just tossed, a lot more sturdier too. Plus I know how you like timing being dead on. You need it, I’m backing Travis” “I’ll give it back when we come in” you promised as you took it from his hand. A smile slipped onto his face “I’m in no hurry to get it back”
You fastened the watch around your wrist, the weight of it was more than the one you’d had but it would work. You cut your eyes up at Jay and offered a smile. He was trying, actually trying here. You weren’t going to continue busting his balls any more than necessary.
You tore your eyes away from him to look around “Ok, boys and girls. Get with your team and lets get this done”
“Son of a bitch” you grunted, falling back behind a building for cover. Yeah, not every damn mission went smoothly. No matter the planning or the time spent. Your team was taking fire, Travis’s team was radio silent and that scared the hell out of you but you had to clear your team first “Whoever takes that damn gunner out, I’m buying first round when we get back to La Paz!” you hollered across the coms and heard a few forced laughs as response.
You knew you were on the right path it was just clearing the damned area. “Deuce, we’re circling around” Jones' voice hit your ear. “Copy that, stay low and fucking keep talking to me” you ordered.
You nodded to Franklin to move, Rex was low moving close to the buildings as they went. He was clearing corners better than some agents you’d seen. “Bailey report!” you called across the coms but nothing came. You let out a breath, trying to concentrate on the task at hand. You took out two shooters, clearing another block with your team. “Halstead” you tried across the com, knowing Jay would respond if not for any other reason than you were actually calling for him.
“Gunner down” came Jones’ voice through the com. You let out a breath, that meant the southern block was secured. “Push forward, Bailey and Halstead haven’t responded” you told Jones’ and moved forward.
_______________________
Jay and Travis moved side by side through the street. The first thing they’d done was take the gunners out, securing that before their team ever moved in. “Take it building by building. Secure the block. We take six stash houses” Travis gave the order and their team spread out.
He and Jay moved together, clearing each corner as they went. When they started to clear one corner, a stun grenade dropped down from the roof in front of them. “Fuck Travis!” Jay barely got it out, pulling the other man back and halfway blocking him before the flashbang went off.
Jay hated fucking flashbangs, they blinded you, threw off your hearing and your damned balance. You were helpless for a few minutes and that was if you were lucky after they went off. He groaned, pushing himself to his feet using the wall and reached to help Travis up. Both men were barely standing on their own from the effect when a bullet landed directly above Travis’s head. Jay snatched him to the side and spun, a burning going through his left arm telling him he’d been hit but he knew he didn’t have time to evaluate it.
He could vaguely hear your voice “Halstead” and for a moment he wasn’t sure if it was the com or if he was just hallucinating. He blinked hard and spotted the figures on the roof, two men not willing to let the stashes go that damn easy. “Two gunners on the roof, northeastern quadron” he groaned about the time another shot was fired, he didn’t have the time to do anything else so he just snatched Travis to the ground, both men tucking to return fire.
Travis hit one man and he fell. Jay managed to catch the other and he toppled off the roof. “North block secured” Davidson’s voice came across and Travis let out a breath before saying “Gunners down”
_____________________
They were fine, they were talking. That meant they just had gotten to the point they couldn’t respond, right?
“Circle up, we’ll do a final sweep” you ordered and Travis responded “Copy that” you waited with your team to spot him and Jay. The moment you did you knew something was wrong with them both. The way their eyes looked, the angle they were both holding their heads. “Flashbang?” you guessed and Travis nodded “Sons of bitches”
You walked over to the both of them “Are you ok? Need a medic?” Travis shook his head slowly “I think I’m good” you nodded then looked at Jay but before you had time to ask him your eyes were caught by the blood staining the left sleeve of his uniform, seeping out of the tear in it. “You’re hurt” he looked down at it and shrugged “I think that happened when I pulled Travis back while we were both still out of it. Didn’t quite move fast enough”
You tried to ignore the little leap your heart did at him bleeding in front of you. The way you wanted nothing more than to strip his jacket off and fully go over it to see how bad it was. “Get something to stop the bleeding, we’ll handle that back at camp” he held your eyes then nodded “Ok”
You watched Jay walk over to Davidson who dug out some roll gauze and held them out to him. “Mother fucker probably saved my damn life” Travis blurted out behind you and you turned to look at him “You’re not helping matters any” he shrugged “I’m just sayin, I may have been half damn blind by that flash bang but he didn’t hesitate, didn’t think about it”
You watched Jay slip his jacket down far enough to roll the gauze around his arm and your heart nearly fell out of your chest at seeing how much blood was running down his arm, nearly to his fingertips. “He’s had worse” you said and Travis nodded “I imagine, I’m just saying that one? He had for me”
You told yourself you were just checking on a member of your team. It was a normal thing. You walked into the med tent and Jay sat on one of the beds, his shirt next to him as a medic stitched his arm up. You tried not to let your eyes linger on his bare skin too long so you focused on the medic. “How bad?” you asked and she glanced up with a smile “Not too bad agent, only took fifteen stitches to close him”
You winked at Jay “Rookie numbers, I’m disappointed” he grinned broadly at you “I apologize, next time I’ll make sure I get into the higher digits to not embarrass you” you laughed “All I ask, really” once the medic was through she taped a clean gauze over it, told Jay to keep it clean and went to clean up.
He looked back at you so you stepped closer to the bed and picked up his shirt, “Thank you” your voice was low as you held his shirt out to him. He reached for it, your fingertips brushing each other “What exactly are you thanking me for? I mean you’re welcome I guess either way”
“Jay, you pulled Trav out the way” you met his eyes and the look in them was so soft, you had to look away. He’d never looked at you like that before. He’d looked at you with love, lust but not just genuine care. “I don’t want you thinking I did that calculated. We were pinned down, he was in trouble. I was in a spot to do something about it. That was all”
“Thank you either way Jay. I’m glad it wasn’t serious by the way” you laughed lightly. He nodded and slipped his shirt on “Me too, would’ve sucked to get sent back to Germany” you shrugged “They have decent breakfast at least” you meant it as a joke, trying to ease the thick air between the two of you but Jay grimaced slightly when you said it “I forget you’ve been in that hospital too”
You nodded “Perks of the fact that I was currently working with a different squadron when that happened” one of his eyebrows lifted “I didn’t know you were working with the army then” you nodded “The squad then helped dig me out. I was medevaced to Germany, during the time I was in the hospital that squad was restationed to Paris”
“Mouse” he guessed and you nodded “Mouse” he laughed lightly “So, he knew?” you shrugged “Hard to hide where I was bleeding from when I dug out. He didn’t know it was yours if that’s what you’re asking” you rested one hand on his thigh “Believe it or not I haven’t ran around telling everyone that would listen that you’re an evil bastard”
He laughed, looking down at your hand before lightly placing his on top of it “I’d deserve it” you sighed and pulled your hand away, seeing his face fall slightly before he schooled his features “Anyways, I came here to make sure you weren’t ya know..dying” he grinned “Not dead yet” you nodded and started to take his watch off your wrist “Oh yeah and to give this back” but he stopped you by covering your hands with his own “Keep it”
“What?” you asked and he gave you one of those smiles that used to drive you wild and now just added to the list of what ifs where he was concerned. “You need it more than I do, besides it looks better on you anyways” you rolled your eyes “That’s such a Jay thing to say. Like when I’d steal your shirts and you’d swear the same thing”
He grinned, an honest grin as he tilted his head to the side “That’s because that was true also. All my shirts looked a helluva lot better on you than they ever looked on me” you shook your head “Maybe that’s our problem. We both remember the past, we both have what ifs and it’s hard moving past everything”
“I’m sorry for how I acted sweetheart..Deuce” he corrected himself quickly but when he called you sweetheart? It took you back to one too many nights. “Jay, if it’s truly not guilt that made you stay, truly not guilt making you act differently then I have an offer” you spoke and he nodded “Anything”
You held out your hand “Y/N Barlowe, my team calls me Deuce..long story” he raised an eyebrow “What are you doing?” you shrugged “I’m offering you the reason you came to Bolivia to begin with. Something I think I’ve needed too, especially where you’re concerned to let go of a lot of pain. A fresh start”
He grinned and slipped his hand into yours “Jay Halstead ma’am. Pleasure to meet you and I’ll have to learn about where Deuce came from one day” you nodded “Well, I’m taking my team out for drinks when we get back to La Paz and dragging some of your squad along too, if you’d like to come” “I’d love to” he replied and you nodded “Sounds good” he slowly dropped your hand so you gave him a final smile before walking out.
__________________
Jay watched you walk out of the med tent and sat there for a second. He died didn’t he? That bullet didn’t hit his arm, the damn thing hit his neck. He was dead. That was the only possible explanation for you offering a fresh start, offering to be his friend again.
The medic walked back in and smiled “Halstead, you good?” he nodded slowly “So, I’m not dead?” she laughed “Go on Soldier” he laughed and stood up, walking out of the tent. How the hell had he managed for you to be willing to give him a fresh start in any capacity and how could he manage to not fuck it up?
Jay Halstead x Reader (nicknamed Deuce/ surname of Barlowe. No first name used)
You and Jay finally talk, you let all your feelings known as to why you think he stayed
Warnings: mention of violence, mention of shooting someone, lots of cursing and actually I think thats it for this one
Jay watched you as you walked through the market. You were ahead of him and Travis, Franklin and Samantha were walking with you. He noticed how you liked keeping the K9s close. A part of him wondered if you’d end up requisitioning one for your team. There was just something about the way you wove through the stalls, offering a smile to the vendors as you moved. You spoke to them, stopped to check out fares. He didn’t know if you’d ever been this far south but no one looked at you with the least bit of malice. Even with it being clear you were some form of law enforcement, the vendors were joking and laughing with you as you bought what looked like dried herbs from a man.
The way your braid bounced behind you, one of your hands dangling to brush along Rex’s back and the way your eyes constantly darted between the two women with you to make sure neither of them felt as if you weren’t paying attention to them. He also knew for a fact that either of the three of you could probably tell him the smallest detail of damn near anyone around you in the market. You’d told him years ago only half your observation skills had come from being an agent “the other half simply comes from being a woman, we’re used to having to keep an eye on things around us”
The sound of his name being called tore his attention away from you “Jay?” He raised an eyebrow and cut his eyes at Travis “You called me by Jay instead of Halstead. It’s got to be serious. Are you about to make good on the threat to shoot me and call it enemy fire on the write up?” Travis shrugged “Haven’t quite decided yet but no, not at the moment” Jay laughed lightly, glad for some of the tension he’d caused to be gone. He knew the only reason was because you had given the ok for him to stay on, Nolan wouldn’t have agreed unless you had. “Ok then what’s up?”
Travis nodded towards where you were now looking at a booth that had necklaces laid out “I’m gonna ask you something and know this once I’m not even busting your balls. I’m just honestly curious” That spiked Jay’s attention because if Travis was passing up an opportunity to bust his balls over you? It had to be serious. “Ok?” Jay watched the other man as they walked in silence. Travis stopped walking, catching Jay by the elbow “Did you ever actually pay attention to her before now?”
“What?” Jay questioned, eyes flickering back towards you but luckily your attention was not on them. “I’ve caught you more than once looking at her. You treated her like the dirt under your boot when you first got here then all of a sudden once you find out about the explosion you’re looking at her like you’ve never seen her before. Like you’re spotting all these new things. How the hell can you say you love her if you didn’t really know her?”
“I know I fucked up..” Jay started but Travis cut him off with a laugh “Halstead saying you fucked up is the understatement of the century. You broke her heart, You slept with her under false pretenses. You came here and treated her like shit because you assumed she was fucking me. Now? I can’t even figure you out so I know she can’t”
“What do you want to know Bailey?” Jay asked, holding his arms out to his side. He was through hiding anything. If airing every ounce of dirty laundry he ever had was what it took for Travis to trust him then that was the first step in the right direction for you to halfway trust him again one day. “Why are you here? She thinks the only reason you’re not still being a complete and total asshole to her is because you found out you got her pregnant. If that’s the case, wipe your conscious clean. We’ll get you out of your contract and you can get the fuck out of here. She doesn’t need any more bullshit from your corner”
“It couldn’t possibly be that the reality check came in the form that she almost died and if she had I probably never would have ever known? Yeah it fucking hurt to find out I could’ve been a father, especially with her but her almost dying? Travis you may not believe me and I don’t really fucking care but that’s why I want those bastards’ heads on a pike. They tried to take her and if it’s the last thing I do they’ll regret it”
“If that’s how you actually feel you need to reel it back a little because if she clocks the way you’re looking at her? If she sees some of the things I’m seeing? She’s going to bench your ass. She doesn’t want any grey area. She wants this whole thing black and white so nothing gets muddled” the way Travis was looking at him, almost seemed like they were coming to some sort of agreement. “Are we finding middle ground?” Jay asked and Travis nodded “Yeah” then looked over to when you were headed in their direction.
_______________________
“Should we be concerned about that?” you looked up from where you’d just been admiring a necklace to see Jay and Travis standing pretty close and Travis had Jay’s elbow in his grasp. “Fuck, you two stay here” you handed Samantha the money for the necklace you wanted for Val then headed in their direction.
Both men took a step away from each other at your approach, false innocence filling their faces “What’s up Deuce?” Travis asked as you looked between him and Jay. “You tell me, I looked a while ago and you two were walking just fine. I look down to find Val a necklace, look back up and it seems like we’re going for round two” Jay smirked slightly “Coming to make sure you get your hit in?”
You spun around to point your finger at him “Shut up” he held up his hands, both eyebrows raised in the way that you knew meant he was fighting to keep a smile off his face and just knowing him that well pissed you off. “Trav?” you asked, turning back to your friend. He smiled “We’re good. We were just talking, promise”
You knew there was something more to it than that. Were both of these men forgetting that you knew them? You held Travis’s eyes for a moment then nodded “Good, just because we have downtime doesn’t mean shit can’t pop off at any moment. If you two start fighting and something happens then that leaves a vulnerability to the rest of us”
“It won’t happen” Travis promised and you nodded again “I’m trusting you Bailey”
You barely cut your eyes at Jay, he was watching you like he half expected you to say something to him but what exactly? You had no idea. You didn’t have anything for him. You just shook your head and walked back over to the women. Whatever testosterone fueled bullshit you’d interrupted they could get back to.
You walked into the building where you had to meet the point of contact. Hernandez walked in behind you with his K9 Red. Travis, Marcel and Jay were behind him. The contact asked for a small group. You’d given him that.
You nodded to Hernandez so him and Marcel split off to do a walk through of the bar the five of you found yourself in. Red’s job was to make sure none of you were walking into an ambush. The fact that he’d picked a place with people inside instead of some off the beaten path was a good indication but sometimes that just meant more collateral damage.
Travis stepped up next to you, Jay a step behind him. “When’s the contact due?” you checked your watch “We’re about seven minutes early, I wanted to give Red a chance to do his thing first. Make sure we weren’t up for any surprises” “Have you worked with this contact before?” Jay asked and you looked up at him then shook your head “Not that I know of, he’s one of Rafe’s though so chances are he’ll be ok. I just don’t want to chance lives regardless”
Marcel and Hernandez made it back to the three of you and Hernandez ran a hand down Red’s back “It’s clear Deuce” you nodded and reached down to scratch between Red’s ears “Ok, you two take the table near the rear exit in case you need to slip out. Halstead you take the table near the front exit in case any buddies of his slip in and we need a warning. Trav you get a table near the bar and I’ll wait at the bar”
“Copy that” the group of men spread out to do as you asked so you walked up to the bar. The woman behind the bar smiled at you “What will it be?” you laughed “Um anything non alcoholic?” “Strawberry lemonade?” she offered and you nodded “That sounds amazing”
You sat there, sipping the lemonade and counting off the minutes on your watch until the stool next to you creaked. You turned and your eyes widened. His beard was thicker than the last time you’d seen him and his black hair was longer, tied back to keep it out of his face but those bright hazel eyes remained the same. “Adan?” he grinned “Nice to see you raised from the dead mijo” “I don’t understand..why all this cloak and dagger shit? You had me freaked. I ran the dogs through here” he shrugged “I had to make sure it was still you running the team. I heard about what happened. I got eyes out looking for that rat, as soon as I find him I’ll let you know. I know you want it”
You felt a tiny smile slip onto your face, fighting the urge to let your hand brush over your stomach especially knowing Jay was watching you like a damned hawk. “I appreciate that. So you’re the contact?” he nodded “I’ve been hearing about a team hitting hard. Didn’t realize that you were the one leading them” you shrugged “I’m not the only one leading, I just wrangle the damn herd of cats” he laughed loudly “That’s the Deuce I know, ok here’s everything you need” and pulled out a large envelope from his jacket and slid it across the bar. “I won’t see you again for a long while. You know how these drops are” you nodded as you slipped the envelope into your own jacket. “I know, it was nice seeing you though” “You too mijo” he replied as you both stood up.
He looked at you and you laughed “You can hug me” he grinned and pulled you into a hug “Take care of yourself Barlowe and give em hell” you patted his chest “Take care of yourself Adan and don’t get caught”
_____________________
One thing that surprised Jay was just how much contacts for things like this and CIs were truly alike. Their posture, the way they scanned crowds. It was easy to spot them if you knew what to look for. The moment the man stepped into the bar Jay could’ve guessed he was the contact. He was a little shorter than him, long black hair and a thick beard.
Then Travis looked up and nodded to the man. He thought you all didn’t know him but the way Travis’s posture changed told him that he did indeed know the contact after all. Ok, that must be a good thing at least because Travis didn’t seem as tense as he had before. Did that mean you were safer being alone at the bar with this guy?
Jay watched silently as the man sat down next to you. You turned to face him, your eyes widened but more in a “I haven’t seen you in a while” type way than a “Oh shit” type of way so he remained seated. He couldn’t exactly hear what was being said but body language spoke a lot. You knew this guy and was comfortable around him, more comfortable than you were around him these days.
The two of you spoke for a few minutes then the man laughed loud enough the sound carried over to Jay and he could see the smile on your face. It was a genuine one, not forced and not tinged with anything else. He missed seeing those smiles pointed at him. When you and the man both stood and embraced it took every damn ounce of willpower he had to not move. Then seeing you, still in his arms leaning back to pat the man on the chest and look up at him with a smile and say something else? He could feel the muscle in his jaw clenching.
He wasn’t jealous, nope. He had no right to be. Yet he wanted to kick the man behind the knee on the way out of the door. He fought the urge but wanted to.
____________________
To give Adan a few minutes to get clear you walked over to Travis’s table. His eyes were glued to Jay. You looked over your shoulder but Jay wasn’t even looking at Travis or he turned when you looked. “Something up?” “Nope, Adan give you what we need?” he asked. You nodded “Yeah, he’s also got eyes out for Donato” just saying the name made anger flicker to life in the pit of your stomach.
Months had passed, you were healed…mainly but his face still lingered in nightmares. You’d gotten shot, stabbed, in car wrecks yet that was the absolute closest you’d ever come to dying and it was just due to one man feeling like he didn’t get a high enough payout from your side or the cartel he was rolling over on so he was constantly trying to one up both of you.
Travis nodded and reached a hand across the table to brush against yours “Good, maybe he can use his resources to find the rat” you laughed lightly “Two different sides and you both call him a rat” he laughed “That’s because he is..think it’s been long enough and we can roll now?”
You checked your watch and nodded slowly “Yeah, let's circle up” . You stood up and looked across the room to Marcel. Him and Hernandez slipped out the backdoor and would meet the three of you back at the suv you’d taken to this meeting. You looked over at Jay and he was already on his feet. “Let’s go”
_______________________
When the five of you got back to camp you headed for the tent that was shared between you, Samantha, Franklin and the other two women in the squadron. Jay was walking near you simply due to his tent being directly across from your own.
“Deuce” he called out and saw your shoulders stiffen before you slowly turned to face him. “Yeah, what’s up?” you were looking at him but not meeting his eyes, your gaze was glued to his chest. Was it that hard to look him in the eye? “Do you need me to leave?” he asked and you finally raised your eyes to look at his “What?” The confusion written across your face was genuine.
“I’m catching it from my own squad, from your team. If me being here is putting more on you..I took the extension to try to help you..try to make some form of amends but if it’s putting you at any risk by complicating things or distracting you, I’ll ask for a transfer” you waved a hand “What exactly are you wanting me to say here Jay? I approved of you staying with Nolan. What more can I do?”
“Talk to me? I’m getting it second hand from Travis so I know you’ve said it or implied it” he added the silent “Please” onto the end of that. You sighed “Jay, I know guilt is what led to you taking the extension. I’m pulling double duty here busting my ass to try to do the current job in front of me and chase down Los Guerreros del Illimani so you can ease your mind and go home”
You couldn’t have just hit him again? Or maybe just shoot him? Hell he’d gotten shot enough he knew how that felt. It would’ve probably hurt less. “What?” The question fell flat to his own ears but he didn’t know what else to say.
“You treated me like shit Jay. You tricked me into bed, no matter the reason…no matter if I honestly do sympathize with the shit you were going through in Chicago at the time, you tricked me into bed with a lie. Then you showed up here, on my turf on a team that I was called in to handle and berated me at every turn. You talked me down in front of our people, you mumbled, gave those little looks of yours and honestly just shredded my damn heart even further than it already was and now? The only reason you are being civil is because you found out Los Guerreros del Illimani killed your child. You never loved me, that’s ok. I’ve come to terms with that but please don’t insult my intelligence by acting as if I should just accept this change because why exactly? What honest reason do I have to accept it? I can work shoulder to shoulder with you just fine Jay. We’re professionals. We’re the leads of all this, lives depend on us seeing somewhat eye to eye but please stop acting as if I mean anything to you”
“You do, you always have” his voice was low as he took a step towards you, half expecting you to back up but instead you moved closer to him, the distance between the two of you shrinking to less than a foot. You crossed your arms over your chest and had to lean your head back slightly to hold his eyes as you said “You have a funny way of showing that”
“It hurts to know we would’ve had a baby, I’m not going to lie to you but the idea that you nearly died and I never knew? If you would’ve died, I may never have known… that was a wake up call…I was a fucking idiot and wrapped up in my own bullshit when I got here, does that take away from how I treated you or justify it in the least? No but I want to try to do what I can right here, I don’t want you having to keep an eye out because you’re worried me and Travis may fight. I don’t want you thinking I’m only staying, only backing you and your team because of the miscarriage”
“I don’t know how the hell I’m supposed to think or feel towards you Jay” you finally admitted, you felt like every nerve ending in your body was on fire as you stared him down. Your hand ran over your side, a nervous habit you’d picked up while you were healing. “However you need to, I know you don’t trust me. Not outside of the job but I hope one day you will. I miss you, I know I don’t have any right to say that to you but I miss you”
“You let me walk away” you reminded him and he nodded “I know, that’s the worst part. I know”
“I’ll try to find more middle ground with you but respect when I need breathing room, ok?” you offered and he nodded “Ok” you pointed towards the tent “I’m laying down for a while until chow time” “Ok, I’ll be around if I’m needed” you nodded “Stay alert” “Yes ma’am” he replied, a small smirk slipping onto his face when your eyes narrowed.
Jay Halstead x Reader (nicknamed Deuce/ surname of Barlowe. No first name used)
When your team gets called to assist on a case that means you get a breather from Jay and he gets time to think about everything and possibly what he could want for the future
Warnings: mentions of kidnapping, someone being sold for their body parts, mention of cannibalism, mention of trafficking, I think thats it?
You hadn’t expected to get pulled from drug interdiction to work a normal case but your team was summoned to Bucharest to assist. An American nationalist had gone missing.
When you landed at the airport you took a deep breath before following Travis down the steps out of the airplane. This was the first non cartel case you’d work in longer than you’d care to think about. It didn’t exactly hurt your feelings to have a breather away from Jay for a few days, even if you found yourself missing other members of the squad. It felt weird not having the K9s nudging at your thigh as you walked or hearing Davidson and Jones chattering with Marcel.
Some of them you would actually miss when their contracts ran out. “Come on boss lady” Samantha called with a laugh. You grinned at her “I’m coming, I’m coming” . You were supposed to meet someone from the local authorities at baggage claim to go straight from the airport to the station to jump in head first in this case. Roxie, Val and Sirius were pulling double duty. They would be waiting to help with this while still tracking cartel movement.
“Think they’re gonna play nice with others?” Travis asked as you spotted the guy in a suit that was clearly annoyed at the crowd and looking for someone. You winced “If they don’t I bet we’ll teach em how to play nice with others” he laughed and bumped his fist against yours “You know it”
You approached the man and when he spotted the four of you he raised an eyebrow and at first set his eyes on Travis “SSA Barlowe?” Travis smirked and pointed to you “She’s Supervisory Special Agent Y/N Barlowe” you smiled and extended your hand “Just Barlowe works” the man had the presence of mind to look embarrassed at assuming that one of the men were in charge at least. “Apologies Agent Barlowe” “None needed” you told him then introduced Travis, Samantha and Marcel. “Now if you don’t mind, we’d like to get started on this case” he nodded “Of course, I’ll show you to my car”
You turned to follow him through the airport and caught the looks all three of your team were sending you. They were already put off. Anytime you got underestimated they didn’t like it from the start. They got more pissed about it then you ever did. You shook your head and smiled at them. It was ok, it was an honest mistake or that’s what you were going to tell yourself until they proved you otherwise.
Given that your team was out of La Paz, Jay’s squad had gotten assigned off jobs by Nolan. The K9s were at the front gate of the government building clearing any trucks, a few men were escorting officials and the rest were scattered until you got back and rounded them up for the next mission.
It felt odd because this was the longest they’d gone without something active since landing but your team had gotten called to Bucharest. That meant they had a bit of a breather. A part of him wished he could have gone with you but he knew you needed a break from him.
He’d been horrible when he first arrived, hell for too long he’d walked around with his head shoved so far up his own ass. He would have deserved you to have kicked him off the damn squad and requested someone else to lead it yet he was still here for some reason.
He missed you. Did he have the right? Hell no. Did he have your number? Yeah, you’d given it to the entire team. Would he use it? No. He promised you he was not going to cross any lines and he meant it. He knew where he stood with you. This, him being here was just him working, him fighting. That was it.
_____________________
“Yo Halstead” he was starting to get tired of Davidson hollering Yo Halstead at this point however. “Yeah man?” he asked, turning to look at Luke as he walked up to him. He stopped just shy of him and crossed his arms, tilting his head as he stared at him. After a second Jay nodded slowly “I’m going to walk away now”
“Wait!” Luke called so Jay stopped and looked back at him “If you’re just wanting to keep staring at me, take a picture. It’ll last longer and it’s less creepy” Luke laughed “No, I’m just…did you really take an extension with no set end date?” Jay nodded “Yeah, I’m here as long as it takes her team to take down Los Guerreros del Illimani”
“Are you staying here for the mission or for her?” Luke asked and Jay laughed just from the fact that they’d been at each other’s side for long enough any semblance of a filter was long since gone. If only it was that simple, if by staying here he could ever have another chance just for you to even look at him with a bit of happiness again? He’d never leave Bolivia. Nothing was worse than looking at a situation in hindsight. He was a fucking clueless idiot and now reaping everything he’d sowed.
“I can’t fix what I broke with her. I can’t change anything I did but I can be here, I can be an extra gun for her, an extra set of hands. I came here to take on this mission to take down cartel, to chase down high value targets and keep dangers off the street. I never expected to walk in and her be the one leading the whole damn thing. My intentions with this whole damn thing was because I needed clarity, I needed a reset. You see how that worked out”
“What happens when she brings down Los Guerreros del Illimani? You and I both know with Barlowe it’s gonna happen. Do you just go back to Chicago?” Jay shrugged “I honestly haven’t thought that far ahead. I’m just trying to not be a piece of shit here. I don’t know if I want to go back there. My brother moved to Seattle with his girlfriend and her son. Our parents are dead, What do I have there? A job I left and an ex wife I cheated on?”
“Or is it the fact that you know she’s not there?” Luke asked and Jay groaned “You’re getting to be a pain in the ass man” Luke grinned “Just sayin, ya need to start putting a little bit of thought into the future in some way. If it’s staying here or going home, don’t you think you need some sort of plan?”
Jay shrugged “Guess I’ll figure it out, won’t I?”
“Thanks Rox” you hung up the call with her and turned to face Sergeant Alexsander. “My people have narrowed it down to here, we have heat signatures. They can keep an eye on us while we go in and lead us the entire way. We just need the go ahead from your end”
He nodded “Gear up” you smiled slightly and looked at Travis “You heard the man, gear up and lets get on it”
___________________
You straightened your vest and looked over the group “We’re going in with two teams. I’ll lead one, Agent Bailey will lead the other. Move fast, stay together. Don’t take any chances. We’ve been chasing these assholes for three days now. If they slip us again we may not find them this time. Everyone makes it out. Understood?”
“Yes ma’am” was echoed in one way or another from everyone that was around you. You gave a sharp nod then cut your eyes at Travis “Keep com lines open and clear. We’ll work one floor at a time until we find the objective” “Copy that boss lady” he replied with a wink.
__________________
“FBI FREEZE” you called out and the men in front of you started to raise their guns but you shook your head “Put it down” they looked around and realized it was three to eight. They wisely chose to lower their weapons and put their hands up. “Good choice” you nodded to one of the men with you “Cuff em”
You kept pushing forward “This level is clear” you spoke into your com and Travis’s voice drifted into your ear “Copy that, pushing your way”
You led the way around a corner, your team falling in behind you and ended up face to face with Travis. You smiled slightly “We going down together then?” he shrugged “Why not?” according to the blueprints Val had pulled the basement was fortified. The reasoning given was a storm shelter but not like this was exactly tornado alley.
You got to the door of the basement and felt Travis’s hand on your shoulder. You opened the door and the two of you moved in, your footsteps in unison as you moved, the lights that were on top of your guns bouncing off the shadows in the corners of the basement.
When you got to the base of the stairs you heard a sound and looked at Travis who gave a small nod. He heard it too. You motioned to the right then the left. You didn’t need to say the words for him to know what you meant. He nodded then slipped right while you slipped left.
You moved carefully staying low. When you got to the source of the noise you saw Travis on the other side. It was the original missing person you knew about along with two women and three other men, all chained to the wall. What the hell had you exactly walked in on? Human trafficking? Cannibalism? You’d seen some hell over the years.
“GET ME MEDICS” you called out as you and Travis began getting the people free and helping them to lower themselves to the ground. This case just got more complicated than you originally thought.
You were glad to be back in La Paz. Turns out the case your team had caught in Bucharest had been a freaking dark web thing. They were planning to auction off those people for their body parts. That was probably one of the weirdest and darkest cases you’d caught yet and for the love of everything holy that was saying a helluva lot.
When you and Samantha trudged into the door of the place you shared with Roxie she was sitting on the couch with her legs curled up under her and that bright orange blanket she loved. “Well you two look exhausted” you laughed “You can say that again” you’d sent her home while you two finished up the reports. “Glad to be home and capable of crashing for a day or so before jumping back into it” Samantha breathed, dropping her bag and heading into the kitchen in search of something to eat.
You watched her and shook your head “Bite your tongue, the moment you say that everything lights up and we have missions coming in that have us chasing our ass for the next few weeks” “Well now that you mention it…” Roxie started and you spun around to glare at her. She smirked “Easy Deuce, no need to turn me to stone. I was partially kidding. It can wait until tomorrow” you nodded slowly, a small smile slipping onto your face “Good girl”
Travis was driving and you were laying back against the seat while Samantha and Marcel went back and forth in the backseat. The four of you were headed to the base. Roxie was keeping track of movements and this would have all of you headed south.
“So, is this gonna be like before? We’ll be at camp?” Samantha asked and you nodded “Yeah, most likely when we can be anyways. There’s three areas that have the most activity. Roxie and Val are monitoring them. With any luck we should be able to hit em, wipe it clean and be done within a couple weeks” she nodded “At least maybe this time Halstead won’t be quite as much of a jackass”
“Hopefully” you muttered, looking out of the window. This all was still a bit of a whiplash. You’d gone straight out of high school into the police academy then worked as a patrolman while you got your bachelors to go back and apply for the bureau.
You met Jay when you were freshly an agent. There was an overlapping case between the FBI and CPD and you being the new kid got assigned the short straw to work with intelligence. You’d heard horror stories about Voight but he was not the monster you’d heard. Yeah he was an ass and did shit his own way but at the end of the day he was just a man.
You were there for the final act of Jay's relationship with Erin or whatever you could call it. They weren’t together, he was wanting to propose then she took a job with the New York field office and left Chicago without another word.
Maybe that should have been your hint but the two of you became friends, friends became more then the asshole owned your heart and ripped it to shreds. When you made GS-14 and was offered this very job he begged you to stay in Chicago, citing how much he loved you. You asked for some form of commitment. He couldn’t even agree to live together so you broke things off.
The two of you were cordial, you would call him if you talked to Mouse to let him know how he was and he would call you from time to time. The last time you had talked to him was when your team was permanently stationed in Bolivia. That was nearly two years ago.
Why had you ever gone out that damn night? You should’ve gone back to the hotel after seeing baby Jakey. You shouldn’t have let him drive you to the hotel, you shouldn’t have let him come up to your room. You shouldn’t have done so damn many things.
“Deuce?” Travis asked once the suv was through the gate. You glanced over at him and he raised an eyebrow “You good?” you nodded “Yup”
_____________________
Jay walked into the conference room and tried to not let his eyes linger on the line of butterfly stitches that were on your cheek. Travis had some bruising as well, he couldn’t really clock anything on Samantha or Marcel but it wasn’t a surprise that if you’d gone hand to hand that Travis had as well.
You caught his eye and he knew from the look that was passed you’d clocked where his attention was. You lightly touched your cheek and nodded. A silent way to say you were ok. He didn’t even know why you cared to try to take any worry off of him.
The two of you were still barely speaking, not that he blamed you. Missions were easier when the two of you weren’t biting each other’s heads off however, and when Travis wasn’t looking like he may shoot him and swear it was enemy fire.
Just as quickly as he got your attention he lost it again. You turned to say something to Travis but once the rest of the squadron filed into the room you walked to the head of it to get everyone’s attention “Ok boys and girls. Our genius tech crew has gotten us some interesting satellite imagery. We’re heading south this time”
___________________
Once everyone else had left the conference room you knew you wanted to talk to Jay. Travis had told you he’d get everyone cleared out when you ran your thoughts past him. When Jay started to walk out you spoke his name and he froze, turning to look at you. “Yeah..” you smiled slightly “You’ll still be at Trav’s side the most during this. It isn’t anything personal I just think everyone would be the least distracted that way. I work well with Davidson and I trust Cel and Sam to have my back”
A blind person could have seen that coming. He knew it would never be him getting to be at your side, rather you didn’t trust him to have your back or rather you thought it was actually distracting he wasn’t sure but he wasn’t going to argue with you either way.
“Ok” he replied after a moment and you nodded “Ok, and so far Los Guerreros del Illimani are keeping a pretty low profile. If you change your mind about your contract I have a few favors I could call in to get you out of it” “That desperate to get rid of me?” he asked, letting a small smile slip onto his face. You shook your head “Just offering you an out. You don’t owe me anything Jay. The past is the past”
You didn’t want him staying here over a sense of guilt even if there was some sort of justice in it. “I might not owe you in the traditional sense but I do. I might not ever be able to fix all the pain but I can try to make amends by being here, putting in the work” “Jay, why did you stay? I feel like the only reason you’re not being a bastard still is because…” you trailed off but the unspoken words were easy to guess.
You felt like the only reason he wasn’t being a bastard still was because he found out you miscarried his baby. Maybe that was part of the reason but when he thought about you being caught in an explosion, baby or no baby…you nearly dying…that was a reality check from hell.
“To help you” he whispered, not having a better answer or one you’d believe more. You nodded slowly “You could go home, try to fix things with Hailey or always find someone new? Have a halfway normal life” “Or I can stay here, go grab my gear and get ready to roll south” you sighed “Or that”
You waved a hand to dismiss him and he nodded “I’ll see you when we roll out” “See you when we roll”
Jay Halstead x Reader (nicknamed Deuce/ surname of Barlowe. No first name used)
When faced with his sins Jay makes a decision to stay and try to do something about them
Warnings: Talks of suicidal ideation, covering up crimes, disposing of bodies, killing people, I think thats it?
On day three of leave Jay found himself standing in front of the building your team used as an base of operations. It didn’t look like a fed building from the outside by far but then again that was the idea, wasn’t it? Your team was made to cross borders, work with different countries and do so seamlessly.
Yet another thing he could add to the list that he had never appreciated properly about you, just how fucking amazing you were at your job. This was a bad idea, this could result in you punching Nolan again for giving him the address but he wanted to meet the rest of your team, the people who were there for you like he should have been.
He wanted to talk to you, needed to say some things and knew you would be more likely to hear him out if you had home field advantage. He did still know you pretty well after all. Nolan also told him where the cameras were and where to stand when he knocked to keep from putting all of you on high alert because even though the squad had three days off your team had only taken two.
He knocked and a few minutes later a woman with dark blonde hair and dark blue eyes who was around yours and Samantha’s height opened the door, looked over his face and grinned “Damn, my husband and Deucey really did a number on you. Can I introduce myself here or should I just add to it from the start?”
“Easy baby, I think he may be attempting to learn” he heard Travis’s voice right before the other man came into view, slipping his arm around the woman’s waist “Halstead, this is my wife Valarie” Jay nodded “Nice to meet you” she smirked at him “Don’t ever accuse Deuce and Travis again. Got me?” “Got it” she nodded then stepped back and waved him in “Well come on, she's in her office but we’ll introduce you to Roxie and Sirius”
He followed Valarie and Travis further into the building. Samantha looked up from a stack of paperwork on her desk “Look what the damn cat dragged in, how did you even find us? Not like we’re in the yellow pages” “I um i asked Nolan” he offered and Marcel shook his head “That fucking traitor”
Jay was starting to think this was the wrong move but then Marcel grinned at him “Why ya here anyways? Got bored on base?” He shrugged “Figured I’d check out the area”
Another man walked in with short black hair and bright blue eyes. He looked from Travis to Marcel then pointed at Jay “Isn’t that..” Samantha waved her hand between them “Sirius Grayson, Jay Halstead” Jay shook his hand “Nice to meet you” Sirius raised an eyebrow “I’d say same but I know how you’ve treated our boss so I’ll hold the same until I see”
Jay nodded “Fair enough” the last person to notice Jay was a woman taller than you, damn near his height. She had bright, fiery red hair and amber eyes. Tattoos on her arms that peeked out from under her sleeve had him curious where you even pulled this team from “Roxie Macloud” she told him with a nod.
“Heard a lot about you” he told her and she smiled “I’m sure you have. We’re the ones keeping eyes on all of you when you’re in the field”
———————————
You’d heard the front alarm but knew the team would summon you if it was something you were needed for. You were trying to catch up on everything still. Samantha and Sirius had jumped in to help too. Give or take another hour or so of work and you should be up to date.
When you heard a lot of chattering coming from the main floor you finally stood and walked to the door about the time you heard Roxie say “We’re the ones keeping eyes on all of you when you’re in the field” you stepped out and laughed “No one likes a bragger Rox”
Jay turned to face you and shrugged “I mean your team has kind of earned their bragging rights in my opinion” you tried to ignore the fact that this was the first time you’d seen him in civilian clothes since that night way back. Jeans and a black shirt. His dog tag chain peeking out from under it. You also tried to ignore how he looked at you like he was seeing you for the first time, maybe it was a bad idea being completely honest with him.
You didn’t want to think too hard about all the time you would have done just about anything to have him look at you like that, funny how things change.
You smirked at his words “So, we’re going off what your opinion means now?” “And Deuce comes out swinging” Sirius laughed from his desk and you winked at him before looking back at Jay “Why are you here anyways? It’s your last day of leave. You should be enjoying it”
“Offering to buy your team lunch?” He spoke and you crossed your arms, nodding slowly “Are you realizing just how much food Sirius and Rox intakes on their own? They both have overactive metabolisms” he shrugged “Not like my checks have been doing anything but sitting for the most part” you looked around “Y’all want to let Halstead buy lunch?”
“Hell yeah” “Hit his pockets” “Why not” came a few responses so you shrugged “Ok then, guess you’re buying us lunch”
Everyone was spread throughout the main floor of the building. You sat on the floor next to Valarie, both of you cross legged eating. Jay sat a little ways away, leaned against the wall and couldn’t help but smile at the fact that this was one of the best fed teams he’d ever seen and here you were lounging on the floor, desks and Samantha was currently flipped upside down on one of the office chairs spinning slowly.
He didn’t deserve to be let in the front door. No wonder they were so damn protective of you. You’d made a family here.
He felt something hit his side and looked down to see it was a plastic fork and Travis was the one that had rocketed it into him “I know you didn’t come here just to feed us and see my pretty face so what’s really up Halstead?” He cut his eyes at you to see he now had your attention as well “I wanted to talk to you and knew you would be more likely to if you had home field advantage, your team at your back”
You nodded and handed Val your empty container when she stood to throw hers away “Ok, it’s just me, you and Trav at the moment. Talk”
Your eyes were locked onto his and he found himself forgetting what it was he wanted to say. Even as hard as your eyes were when you looked at him now, they were still the most beautiful eyes he’d ever seen.
Why had he not been able to see what was right in front of him back when you were still his? Before all this, hell why had he allowed himself to treat you the way he had? He’d allowed himself to play the victim when you were still healing and taking care of your team the best you could.
He let out a breath, rubbing the back of his neck as he said “I’m not asking for another chance, I’m not that much of an idiot, hell I don’t deserve one. I’m just telling you that I’m going to follow you. Wherever this takes you to bring them down, I’m following. I took the extension. I’m staying as long as your team is on this then I’ll see where I end up”
——————————
What the hell were you supposed to say to that? Your ex boyfriend, the man you’d loved for years and who’d put your heart through the shredder time and again swearing to follow you for however long it took to bring down Los Guerreros del Illimani.
Where were those types of vows when you were with him? Where was the loyalty when he landed here and treated you the way he had? As if he hadn’t been in the wrong, as if your heart hadn’t been the one shredded over and over by loving him.
“I don’t know what you want me to say to that Jay, hell I still don’t even know why you resigned from CPD. From what I gather you were on the track to take over intelligence. Why did you walk away from that?”
“I got in deep” he whispered so you raised an eyebrow “How deep?” He dropped his hands to his lap, eyes trailing over the scars on his knuckles. You called his name lightly and he looked up “How deep?” You repeated
He held your eyes for a moment, neither of you turning away from each other before he gave the slightest of nods then started in, telling you everything from cover ups to dumping bodies to how not even three days after everything happened between you and him that he stabbed a man to death in self defense and that resulted in yet another cover up. “Well in Voight’s defense I would have made the same call for any of my team. It was you or him, Jay. You fought for your life. You weren’t in the wrong”
He nodded slowly “I get that but it’s just…I got told how good of a job I did on the case….I was in the unit with my ex wife….I found myself keeping going back to that bar I saw you in.. I don’t know what I was looking for…I knew you were gone…i think I probably would’ve eaten a bullet if I had stayed in Chicago” “Been there” you laughed lightly and Travis growled “I’ll get Valarie” and you held both hands up “Joking! Joking!”
Jay smiled slightly at you and Travis teasing each other. It was good to see, nice to know that at least someone always had your back. Nice to know someone was there for you when he broke your heart, when life broke your heart.
“I don’t want to intrude on the life you’ve built. I just want to help you, I want to be able to keep just a tiny bit of pain off of you for once instead of being the cause of it. I’m finally facing how much wrong I’ve done to you. I can’t ever make up for that but this? This I can do. I can stay. I can fight at your side or behind you, in front of you..wherever you tell me to be. I’m following your lead here SSA Barlowe”
You swallowed hard, cutting your eyes at Travis who gave you the smallest nod. “Either use my name or Deuce, Jay. No SSA Barlowe unless we’re in debriefings. Got it?” he nodded “Yes ma’am” you shook your head “And I swear if you keep incessantly yes ma’aming me, I may hit you again and not apologize for it this time”
He grinned that time, a shadow of one that once made your heart threaten to leap out of your chest but now made an ache blossom instead. “Sorry, habit” you nodded “Ok, then we’re at an understanding. We’ll be on the same team. For real from now on” and held your hand out. Jay slipped his hand into yours and shook it “Deal”
______________________
When Jay started to head back to base you offered to drive him but he shook his head “I’ll just take a cab” “If it’s me, I can get one of the fellas to take you” you offered and he shook his head “Not you, just don’t want to intrude on anyone” you nodded slowly and he almost took it back just because you had offered.
He just didn’t want you to feel like you owed him anything because that couldn’t be further from the truth. He started to walk out the door but when you spoke his name softly he froze. “Yeah?”
“Why did you marry her?” he swallowed hard, turning to face you before he said “I don’t know, I was alone and drowning. I keep hurting everyone..turns out that’s what I do best. I guess a part of me thought maybe if I put that big of a step towards moving on I would forget you” “Did it work?” you asked with a tiny smirk tugging at your lips. Just that smallest of gesture from you felt wrong, he didn’t deserve any niceties from you and yet here you were proving yet again just how strong you were. He shook his head “No, I should’ve known better. Took someone knocking sense into me. Now I just am left to try to piece together what’s left of my life and try not to hurt anyone else”
You nodded slowly, did a part of you hope he’d say it worked? That for a while he forgot you? That he stopped loving you? That he truly was head over heels with her at one point and the night with you was just him having a couple drinks and a bad time? Maybe.
It would hurt less than to think a fraction of him could love you and hurt you the way he had. You stared down on your hands, playing with the small silver ring that adorned your right hand. The only jewelry you wore and it was simply because the other women on your team wore one similar because Roxie had bought them the first Christmas you all realized you would be spending together.
You slowly raised your eyes to his and realized his had been glued to you. At one time you could read him well enough to damn near know what he was thinking but now? You were clueless.
You had to make sure he knew though that him coming to your office, spending time with your team, taking an extension that didn’t even have an end date? It didn’t change anything. “You do know, me accepting you staying and me being willing to work with you doesn’t mean anything. Right? Years of hurt, years of me begging you to love me the way I needed, it doesn’t change because you got a reality check” he nodded “I know, I don’t expect it to. You deserve someone who is a lot better of a man than me. I just want to help you and maybe just maybe one day I can be your friend again”
“Jay you’re a good man when you let yourself be” it was the truth, he had it in him to be a good man. At his core he was. The smallest of smiles slipped onto his face “Too bad I figured that out too late huh? See you at the base?” you nodded “See you at the base”
The next day you walked into the conference room to meet with the squad as to the next mission. Davidson stood at the front of the room with Jay “Morning everyone” you greeted as you walked in, Travis, Samantha and Marcel following you.
You looked around “I hope everyone enjoyed their leave. We have new targets and we’ll be traveling this time” they all nodded then Franklin raised her hand “Yeah?” you acknowledged and she ran a hand down Rex’s back “I just wanted to make you aware of the fact that Rex and I will be staying on for six more months”
“You took an extension?” you asked and she nodded “Yes ma’am” you cut your eyes at Jay and knew from the look he gave you that he honestly didn’t know. “Did anyone else already make a decision?” you asked and one by one, the entire squad confirmed they had all taken extensions. Some were for six months, some ten, some a year and some had chosen just to stay on as long as they were needed.
“We could’ve gotten another team” you said and Davidson shrugged “We’re backing you. We’re taking dangers off the streets, we’re saving lives before they’re even endangered. Plus, you’re not one of those Agents that get a title and people are confused how you got it. You put in the work. You hit the field with us, you took a bullet for Franklin” “In the vest” you corrected and she laughed “Nonetheless!”
You shook your head “I don’t know what to say here. I’ll do my best to protect all of you and get you home at the end of your contracts. I’m honored you chose to stay on and I promise I will do everything in my power to not let you down. Let’s kick some ass” they all laughed as you went into the briefing on the most recent findings.
Jay Halstead x Reader (nicknamed Deuce/ surname of Barlowe. No first name used)
The building tension finally causes an eruption and all truths come out
Warnings: ⚠️ MENTION OF MISCARRIAGE BECAUSE OF AN EXPLOSION ⚠️ Fighting, Blood mention, broken bones, concussion, depressive episode, blaming oneself for earlier mentioned miscarriage, talks on infidelity, accusations of infidelity, lots of cursing, I think thats it? ⚠️
“Davidson, have you hit every hole on the way here?” you asked between gritted teeth when the humvees finally rolled through the gates of the base. He cut his eyes up to the mirror “Sorry Deuce, these things aren’t exactly made for comfort sweetheart” you gave him a pained smile back “It’s alright. Just screwing with ya. Can you tell your squad leader I want everyone in the conference room so I can make sure of the condition all of you are in before you’re dismissed?” he nodded “Yes ma’am” and slid out of the humvee.
The medic looked over you at Travis “Should I take her to the medical wing?” you shook your head “No, he’ll take me once I check on the team” “She’s stubborn to a fault but just as loyal” he told the medic and shook his head “Come on Deuce, the quicker I let you put your eyes on the squad and the rest of our team, the quicker I can get you to go get fully checked out”
You smiled “At least you have finally learned. Took me long enough to train you” he grinned and slid out then waited on you “Come on” you slid out and he slipped an arm around you “Put however much weight you need to on me, I got you” you smiled “I know Trav”
The two of you headed for the door of the main building and he looked down at you “You know it says something that the FBI and the army has handed a team of sixteen to a five foot something woman. It says even more when that woman refuses to get herself checked out before she makes sure everyone else is ok” you smiled “I just want to see for myself, five minutes then we’ll go. I promise” he nodded “I’m holding you to it, I will carry your ass out if need be”
When you made it to the conference room, you made a point to walk in by yourself. Travis was right next to you though. Samantha cut her eyes at you and you knew she was ready to tear into you about not being in the medical wing. “I just want to check on everyone first” “And if something happens to the person over this whole thing?” Marcel questioned. “I’ll only take five minutes, I promised Trav or he threatened to carry me out if need be” you laughed.
You walked further in and the squadron stood to face you. You looked around, eyeing the soldiers and dogs alike. “Is everyone ok? Anyone have any injuries that need to be attended to?” “No ma’am” came a few replies. “You shoved me out of the way ma’am” Franklin replied with a small smile. You nodded to her K9 “Rex is a life saver day in and day out. We need you, I’d do it again with no hesitation”
“Such a hero” Jay muttered and you felt yourself stiffen along with Travis who had stepped up even closer to you “Halstead is there an issue?” you asked and he shook his head “Nope, we’re all fine. You did your job let your boyfriend take you to medical”
“You son of a” Travis didn’t even finish the thought before he threw a punch, catching Jay square on the jaw. You took a step back, knowing both men and damn sure not willing to be caught in the cross hairs. Jay swung back and his punch connected soldily too then Travis lunged taking Jay to the ground and soon both men were just beating the holy shit out of each other.
“SEPERATE THEM!” you hollered to the men. It took three men a piece to pull them apart and you were pretty sure Jay clocked Davidson at least once and Travis hit Marcel in the process. “Does it piss you off that bad seeing someone actually give a damn about her?” Travis asked him, eyes boring into his as he spit out a mouthful of blood.
Jay scoffed “Does your wife know you’re fucking her? Cause mine divorced me for it” that set you off, you flew between Davidson and Jones and hit him hard enough you felt the knuckles in your hand pop and it split his lip even further than Travis already had “WHO LIED TO WHO? WHO TRICKED WHO INTO BED YOU BASTARD?”
About that time Nolan walked in “What the hell is going on?” and you spun and without thinking caught him across the face with a punch “I told you this was going to be a fucking shit show! You wanted the best? You fucking got us!” Marcel let Travis go and you felt his arms slip around you “Come on sweetheart, you’re gonna hurt yourself further”
You were struggling against his grasp “NO, JAY WANTS TO AIR DIRTY LAUNDRY!” Nolan looked at Travis “I understand all of you just got out the field, tensions are high. She got hurt, take her to medical”
You winced when Travis asked if he could let you go. You were still glaring at Jay “Yeah, I need an xray of my hand now too”
______________________
As soon as you and Travis walked out the squad let go of Jay. “That was out of fucking line Halstead” Samantha told him and he knew better than to start another argument in front of Nolan. Hell he didn’t know why he’d said that shit.
“I didn’t…” he tried but Marcel cut him off. “You meant to humiliate her, make her look like the bad guy but look around at your squad. They’re not looking at her. They’re looking at you” the two of them walked out, followed by the rest of his squad. He tried to leave but Nolan stopped him “Halstead, go to Medical. Bailey fucked you up pretty good and Barlowe rebusted your lip. You’re bleeding everywhere. Then I want to clear the air between all three of you”
“Yes sir” he replied and walked out.
You were sitting on the bed in the exam room. “So, according to your line of duty injury report, you were hospitalized earlier this year?” you felt Travis slip his hand into yours and squeeze it lightly. “Yes ma’am” “As a result of an explosion correct?” you nodded “I had a concussion, a sprained wrist, busted one of my ear drums, a couple dislocated ribs and I had a miscarriage because of it as well”
“What?” you turned towards the door and Jay stood there, pale as a ghost. Oh fuck. You never wanted him to know this. “Jay” you whispered his name. He slowly walked into the room, “You were…you never told me…why didn’t you tell me?”
Travis started to step towards him again but you shook your head and looked at the doctor who was looking between you and high, probably highly confused at the moment “Can the three of us have a few minutes to talk please?” she nodded “Of course” and patted your hand before walking out.
Jay felt like he may throw up, pass out…he didn’t know what. You’d been pregnant, and by the way you were looking at him…it was his baby…you’d gotten pregnant with his baby and you’d lost it in an explosion?
“I didn’t know Jay, not until I woke up in the hospital and they told me…not like I was going to interrupt your life just to tell you the baby was gone…I’m sorry for hitting you by the way” your voice sounded so small even to your own ears. Travis sat down on the side of the bed and slipped an arm around your shoulders. His eyes were locked onto Jay’s “I’m not sorry I hit you man. I’ve listened to you berate this woman for weeks, I was with the team that dug her out. I found her, bleeding from her right ear and her…she was bloody…I watched her have to sit in that hospital and mourn a baby she never knew was there…I watched her have to second guess every decision she made that day because she blamed herself…you have no idea half of what she went through”
“Travis isn’t my boyfriend Jay. He was there for me at every doctor's appointment after. He would stand outside the curtain while they examined me and stretch his arm out to hold my hand. He’s my brother in every way that matters. I couldn’t tell Logan. He’s got enough on his plate with a wife and kids, he already had to learn I got caught in an explosion…how the hell was I supposed to tell him I got his niece or nephew killed too?”
“Sweetheart no..” Jay whispered, taking a step closer. You shook your head, feeling tears slip down your face and seeing tears forming in his eyes “Just so you know I would have kept the baby, regardless. No matter if you lied to get me into bed that night I have always loved you. I would have loved that baby the best I could have, my team would have helped me raise it”
Jay could feel his heart crumble in his chest then and there. The way he’d been acting towards you…the way he’d talked to you and about you…the way he’d lied to you..here you were the one woman that had given him your heart, the one woman that he should have given everything to and he was too chicken shit. You’d gone through losing your child without ever having known it was there, through blaming yourself for the loss and yet you were still standing, still fighting. How the hell were you still this damn strong? Why the hell had he not done everything to be the man you deserved?
He spoke your name low and you slowly raised your gaze to his, eyes red and puffy from crying. “I’m sorry, I know that doesn’t even begin to be good enough but my god I am so sorry. I can’t ever make amends for the wrongs I’ve done to you” he wiped the tears flowing from his eyes, thoughts of you, pregnant with his baby filling his mind. Thoughts of a tiny little baby with your smile and his eyes. He loved you, he had never stopped loving you. Even when he was with Hailey, he could never fully be in the moment with her. Half of him was always living in the what if with you. Now that half would be haunted by even more.
“Ever talk to her or about her like that again and I’ll kill you” Travis told him and he nodded “I’ll let you, no fight needed man” the two of them shared a long look. This man that Jay had held so much animosity towards had actually been there for you when you needed him the most, he’d done what Jay should have. He was there to comfort you.
“I would have wanted it, just so you know” he whispered and you half smiled, running a hand across your lower stomach. “Fate had other plans” then you took a deep breath “I need to finish getting checked out, you both need to get cleaned up from your fight. Let’s just stick a pin in this. I can’t deal with any more of this right now. Ok?” Jay nodded and Travis did too.
It was your idea after Nolan said no one was getting reprimanded to talk to the squad. You didn’t want them thinking there was any tension between their leaders or any more tension than there was.
You stood at the front of the conference room. Travis and Jay stood at opposite ends of the room but at least they weren’t glaring at each other and didn’t look like they wanted to kill each other.
“The fight that happened between Jay and Travis was over me but not how it seemed” you spoke and Davidson smirked “So you’re not screwing your best friend?” you winked at him “Nope” then Samantha laughed lightly to ease the tension.
“The mission we’ve undertaken is one me and my team have been fighting against. A man who presented himself as working with Los Guerreros del Illimani and being willing to give information on them approached us for a meeting. It was set and the day of, I walked in following him and he disappeared a half second before the building blew apart. My team along with a squadron of soldiers had to dig me out. I was unresponsive and covered in blood. I later found out I lost a baby that day” you took a deep breath “The baby belonged to Jay, that’s where the tension between us has come in. We’ve talked and while we by far are not friends we will be easier to work with from here on out. Your contracts are for eight months and we’re already months into that then you’ll have the option to leave and we’ll get a fresh squad or you’ll have the option to stay on. With that being said you all now have a three day leave, take some time and catch your breath. Bolivia is a beautiful area. I will be home but you all have my number if I’m needed, I’ll see you in three days”
Everyone seemed slightly dumbfounded. You couldn’t blame them, you just dropped a lot on them at one time. “So, did you apologize for how you treated her?” Franklin asked, looking at Jay. He nodded “I did, I know it’s not enough but I did. I’m going to put in the work to match the words as well”
One by one the squad either spoke to you or Jay before leaving. Once the squad left it was just you, Jay, Travis, Samantha and Marcel. You took a deep breath and looked at Jay “Enjoy your leave? I’ll be home with Samantha and Roxie. Trav will be home with Val and Marcel shares a place with Sirius so we’re around”
He nodded “See you in three days. Enjoy the break”
Travis, Samantha then Marcel walked out. You started to follow then stopped and looked at Jay “I don’t hate you, I never did. I’ve just held everything together with bubble gum and bandaids for far too long” he nodded “I get it, you deserve to hate me, I never loved you like I should have. You are the best thing that ever happened to me and I was too blind to see it”
You shrugged “We can’t change the past, can we?” then turned and walked out.
Jay Halstead x Reader (nicknamed Deuce/ surname of Barlowe. No first name used)
Things start to get tense between you, Travis and Jay while you’re out in the field.
Warnings: jealousy happening, tempers flaring, violence, injuries occurring from someone catching a bullet to their vest
You were no stranger to military camps. Temporary bases, formed out in the field that consisted of tents instead of buildings. You’d been in the FBI long enough you’d learned your way around them. You walked out of the mess tent, laughing when Marcel and Samantha walked in. “Food’s halfway decent. Enjoy it while you can”
Samantha laughed “Oh we will, MREs await us” you scrunched up your nose “I just hope I don’t get stuck with one of the pork sausage ones. I’d rather eat air” she laughed “Should I fill my pockets with saltines?” “That might not be such a bad idea” you laughed as you headed towards the tents that held the four of you.
At first it seemed like you and Samantha would be bunking with the women in Jay’s squad and while that would be true once you actually hit the field, here there was enough room you could spread out to two per tent. Yours and Samantha’s were right next to Travis and Marcel’s tent. You needed to talk to Travis because the entire reason you were at the military camp was so the squad and your team would have somewhere to cool their heels while you, him, Davidson and unfortunately Jay ran a little recon.
That would require some planning. You headed for his tent and knocked when you got to the flap. “Yeah Deuce, come on it” he called out and you walked in. He was standing in the middle of the tent and grinned when he saw you “Did you eat?” you nodded “Yup, now we gotta do the fun part. Planning” he groaned “You’re a buzzkill at times, you know that?” you shrugged “Yeah well, can’t live with me, can’t live without me”
He nodded “That is the truth. Well get comfortable, I’ll grab the maps we got and we’ll get to it”
Jay spotted Marcel and called his name. He cut his eyes up “Sup Halstead?” “Have you seen Bailey? He said something about me and Davidson rolling with him on recon but I wanted to ask” Marcel nodded “Yeah, he ate earlier man. He’s already in our tent. He was doing some paperwork or something”
Jay nodded “Alright, appreciate it” and turned to walk out of the mess tent. He had been a little surprised honestly to see just how well your team did know your way around camp. He’d never realized just how much your job overlapped with the military until now.
He wove his way through the maze of tents until he got to the ones that your team were given to occupy. Yours and Samantha’s tent was first then Travis and Marcel’s. He got to the guys tent and knocked. “Yeah?” Travis’s voice came so he cleared his throat “It’s Halstead”
There was a hesitation then Travis said “Come on in” he walked in and nearly turned around and walked right back out because of the scene he walked in on. Travis was standing in the middle of the tent, examining one map while you were laid out across one of the cots. Your legs were crossed at the ankles, head propped up on your left arm while your right hand held the map so you could look it over. You laid the map down across your chest when you realized it was him. “Halstead?”
He looked from you to Travis, trying to ignore the flicker of anger forming in him. Travis was down to a t-shirt and jeans. You weren’t stripped of any layers but your hair was down, fanned out across the pillow. You were relaxed. He hadn’t seen your hair like that since that night..
He tried to ignore how it felt seeing you like that in another man’s bed, cot..whatever. “Am I interrupting something?” he asked without thinking and you raised an eyebrow “Do you need something or are you doing a bed check? Because it isn’t lights out yet so I’m not breaking regs”
He scoffed and turned his attention back to Travis, eyes boring into the other man and he had to give it to him. He didn’t back down one bit. “I was told if I had any questions to come to you. I didn’t realize she’d be here”
__________________
Oh hell no. Jay was not about to come in here, insinuate you were…what exactly? Doing something with Trav? Then turn around and talk about you like you weren’t there. Who in the hell did he think he was? “Well I am here so ask your question” you spoke and saw a smirk tug at Travis’s lips.
Jay’s eyes turned to you “He mentioned something about me and Davidson rolling on recon” you nodded, slipping your other hand behind your head to get more comfortable and scooted down the cot a little. “Yup. We have some contacts in the area but we can’t roll deep. The plan is to just go with myself, Travis, you and Davidson. Take the two leads and our right hand men. I’ve seen that Davidson is who you always pick so I assumed that was who you would want”
He nodded “Yeah, he’s solid” “Ok then, sounds like we have a plan. We’ll roll first thing. That’s what we’re in the process of doing. We have satellite imagery to decide what routes to take. We’ll be in constant contact with our team here and I’ll have a line to my team back in the office if I need Roxie or her people. Anything else?”
His eyes bore into you, those damn seafoam colored eyes. They once made you weak and if you hadn’t been dealt what you’d been dealt they may have still held that power but no. They were gorgeous but no longer able to weaken you like before. “No ma’am” “Ok, then I’ll see you in the morning” you replied and he nodded “Yes ma’am” and turned to walk out of the tent.
Travis stared behind him for a moment then cut his eyes at you “You do realize he thinks I’m fucking you, right?” you nodded “I’m aware” “This gonna complicate things?” he asked and you shrugged “He won’t let it affect the job” “Good enough, as long as he won’t let it affect the job”
You shook your head “Down boy. No need to go guard dog at the moment. He’s gone, let's get back to work”
You stood with your arms crossed, talking to your contact. Travis stood a couple steps behind you. Jay and Davidson just behind him. “Who are they?” he asked and you looked over your shoulder at the two men “Just escorts we were assigned”
Your contact nodded “Ok Barlowe, La Legión del Titicaca…I can tell you what you need to know about them” “And what’s it gonna cost me Rafe?” you asked and he grinned “You have such little faith?” you rolled your eyes “Just tell me and if it proves good enough I’ll transfer the money to your account as always” he nodded “That’s why I like working with you feds. No money trail that can be easily followed. Yeah, I’ll tell you everything I know”
___________________
“You trust this Rafe?” Jay asked once the four of you were headed back to camp. You shrugged “You know how C.I.’s are Jay. Contacts are no different. The only big difference is contacts sometimes hop continents. Rafe is an across the border rat. He’s given us good leads before, why I got Rox to set up the meet when she tracked him this close. Figured he had something if he was back this way”
“Ok” he replied and got silent. Him and Davidson were in the front of the humvee, you and Travis were in the back. You relayed the information to Roxie so she could get working on the satellite imagery. If that proved to match what he told you and she could get thermal imaging in the area? You could move on that within the next day. That would make another good notch on everyone in this thing.
“I find myself missing camp” you laughed, laying down on a bedroll between Samantha and Franklin. Both women grinned at you. The last couple weeks your group had been moving non stop. Since that first recon from Rafe it seemed the dominos just kept lining up and falling. Jay was being completely unbearable anytime you weren’t actively on a mission. He wasn’t saying anything outright to cause issues but the looks he was giving to you and Travis, the snide little comments and you swore on everything if he yes ma'am ed you one more freaking time.
“Aww princess can’t take it” Jay muttered and you bolted up off the ground “You know what?” and felt several hands grabbing you. You realized it was Samantha, Franklin and Travis had slid across to stop you. You locked eyes with Jay “Don’t sit there and judge me when you don’t know half of anything Halstead. Don’t do this in front of any of them. You want to get into anything? Wait until we’re back at base and that is an order as SSA and therefore technically your superior. You got that?”
“Yes ma’am” he replied, eyes flickering down to where Travis’s hands were just then moving off of you. You nodded and pulled your arms away from the three of them “You three lay down too. You need your rest and I’m not doing anything to risk this team” “Yes ma’am” “Yeah” “Ok”
You could feel how tense your jaw was even as you laid down. Why the fuck would he do that in front of the squadron and your team? He was out of line. You’d deal with that later, everyone needed their full attention on the mission you had to tackle on the way back to base.
You grunted, your arm wrapped around your lower stomach. Ok, maybe this last mission had been more of a bitch than the previous ones. You’d caught a round to your vest. You didn’t think anything was broken but the medics suggested you get an x-ray when you got back to base because when you moved the wrong way it pulled. You were hoping you just strained the muscle when the slug hit.
Travis slipped his arm around you “C’mon Deuce I got you” he helped you walk the rest of the way back to the humvee, holding most of your weight on him. He looked back at one of the medics “Hey, you’re with us in case something happens to her between here and there. Got it?”
“I’m ok Trav” you tried but he shook your head “I’ll believe it when I see test results saying it” you knew he was just worried because of where you were hurting at. You nodded “Ok” and slid into the humvee next to him.
It wasn’t long and you were curled up to Travis’s side. You didn’t hurt as bad having pressure on where it hurt. “Just lay against me. We’ll be back soon and get you checked out” “After I go over everyone else and make sure they fared ok” you argued. He cut his eyes at you and you held his gaze. He sighed “After you make sure of how everyone else fared”
“Good Trav” you whispered and laid your head back down, wincing when a pain hit you because the humvee hit a particularly hard bump.
_____________________
Seeing you catch a bullet? Jay’s heart stopped. No matter the distance between the two of you, seeing a bullet hit you? He wanted nothing more than to check on you, run to your side. That was his first instinct.
Seeing Travis go to your side? Well the anger from that started his heart back up. Your vest had luckily stopped the slug.The medic said everything looked fine but suggested an x-ray just to be sure. He’d seen too many collapsed lungs to argue.
That didn’t mean it helped him any to see Travis practically carrying you to the humvee. That bastard wouldn’t let him talk to you because he had you. Hell he hadn’t even let Jay check on you. That seriously pissed him off. You’d even ignored Jay when he asked if you were ok, turning into Travis and the medic instead.
He was ready to get back to base and be away from your team for the next two days. Seeing you with Travis these last weeks, it was hell.
Jay Halstead x Reader (nicknamed Deuce/ surname of Barlowe. No first name used)
Jay doesn’t like the cards currently dealt to him by any means or the fact that it seems someone else has the hand he craves
Warnings: talk of sex, infidelity, gun violence, people getting trapped in cement, and I think thats it??
“Yo Halstead?” Jay could feel his back teeth grind together when Davidson called his name. He stopped walking and turned to face the other man, raising his eyebrows slightly. “Yeah man, what’s up?” “What’s the background with you and Barlowe?” He waved a hand “What do you mean?” “The way you two looked at each other when she introduced her team. The way you two continue to look at each other. How her team keeps playing keep away with her any time you get near her but the rest of us are allowed. Apparent there’s some story there. Everyone is wondering I’m just the only one with enough balls to actually ask you”
Jay scoffed “Lets see if you have enough balls to ask her. I’m not getting into it. She hates me, all you need to know. Will she let anything happen to any of you because of it? Hell no. She’s good at her job and knows what she’s doing” Davidson nodded slowly “So, good and juicy backstory then huh?” then turned and walked off.
Jay watched him and shook his head. This was supposed to a clean slate. Trying to find his balance again and yet it seemed life wanted to fuck him over at every damn turn. He needed to find the black and white again. The balance of good guys and bad guys yet he had to face you every damn day and you were damn sure not about to give him even an inch of leadway.
He knew he’d fucked up a lot, knew he’d changed so much from the man he once was, the man he wanted to be but damn. You wouldn’t look his way as soon as a mission was over. Your team wouldn’t let him get within three feet of you. So, he could be trusted to have your back in the field but not say two words to you outside of it? That, he found fucking stupid.
He knew what he did to you in Chicago was fucked up. He never should have lied to you about being married but damn, he hadn’t seen you in years. You owned him in a way no other woman had ever managed to. He hadn’t lied when he said letting you go was the worst thing he’d ever done, well one of now.
He’d come clean to Hailey the next day about sleeping with you. She’d cried, yelled. Broken a few things then finally told him to get out. Two days after that he came into work and signed divorce papers were sitting on his desk. Then that last cover up….it was just too much. He’d gone through shit too so why were you acting like you were the only one who’d dealt with shit?
Not to mention your damn attack dog Travis. He was the worst one out of your team. All of them were overly protective of you, sliding between you and him, pulling you away from him and sometimes just straight up telling him “Don’t speak to her” but Travis? That man would work shoulder to shoulder with him in the field, have his back just fine when gunfire was raining down on them then the moment everything was over and calm? He’d look like he wanted to kill him.
What the fuck had you told your team about him? Because those looks? Those actions? They damn sure weren’t from reading his background from his first time being active in the army or from his service record in CPD. No, they were all you.
He knew he hadn’t loved you like he should have but he did love you. Hell he still loved you, rather you would ever believe that or not. That was one thing Hailey had thrown at him “YOU NEVER MOVED PAST HER! WHY THE FUCK DID YOU MARRY ME?” he didn’t have an answer for that. Maybe because you scared him, you always had because you weren’t afraid of anything. Hell even when you were terrified you dug your heels in and went for it anyways. Now he was here and having to face you daily and wasn’t even being allowed to attempt to move forward because you wouldn’t let him.
Jay walked into the meeting that Nolan had called. You stood at the front of the room next to him with your arms crossed. Travis stood with his shoulder touching yours, both yours and his eyes tracked Jay. Nice to know he was the center of attention for some fucking reason.
Once everyone was accounted for you nodded to Nolan who cleared his throat. “For the next few weeks all of you will be working and living in close quarters. The last mission or so were closer where you could do them and get back here within a day or so. It won’t be like this now. You’ll be moving out further, pushing out into different territories. The FBI team will be provided with a vehicle and a few of you will be assigned to accompany them. There will also be a med team picked to go with all of you”
“Are we active or recon?” Jay asked and Nolan cut his eyes at you. You stepped forward, Travis watching you closely “A mixture of both actually. There are targets along the way, there’s recon points along the way. The goal is simply just to see what we can get done over the next couple weeks”
He nodded. “Understood” you stepped back next to Nolan who looked around “Everyone get your gear in line you’ll roll out at first light” everyone made sounds of agreement as they were dismissed. Jay heard you mutter to Travis “This is just gonna be so much fun” and Travis chuckle “Don’t worry Deuce, I got ya”
Yeah, he bet Travis did indeed have you. He shook his head and walked out. He needed to get his own damn gear in line, not worry about whatever the hell was going on with you and your right hand man. You might be over this thing but he was still leading the squad. He had to be there for them.
You tossed your bag into the humvee and groaned under your breath when you heard the squad joining your team on the blacktop. You actually got along pretty well with most of them. They were good soldiers, decent people. Jay was just a trigger for you personally.
You turned to face them, cutting your eyes at your team before clearing your throat. “Davidson, Lopez, Franklin. You’ll be with me and Travis. Jones and Adams, you’ll escort our medics with Samantha and Marcel. The rest of you are with Halstead”
You looked around before locking eyes with Jay “That arrangement good with you?” he nodded slowly, holding your eyes for a few heartbeats before he finally spoke “Fine by me. Who’s leading this little convoy, Supervisory Special Agent Barlowe?” you raised an eyebrow at his tone and the fact that he used your full title. He was trying you in front of his squad and your team before going out in the field. Really? The lot of you would be living in close quarters in fucking tents and sleeping on cots or the ground for the next couples weeks and he wanted to bring out the fucking rulers as if you both didn’t know exactly what each other was bringing to the table.
“We’ll lead it, stick the medics in the middle and you can watch our six. Unless that’s not ok with you?” you asked and he shrugged “Fine by me. Remember this is your call” “Then by all means, let’s load up and roll out. I’d like to hit the first waypoint on schedule”
“Yes ma’am” he replied and nodded the soldiers traveling with him “You heard her, load up”
___________________
Davidson was driving the humvee, you were sitting in the front seat next to him. You were maybe half an hour from base when he cut his eyes at you “So, Barlowe. We’ve all been wondering..” You cut him off “If the next words have anything to do with your squad leader pull over now and I’ll go ahead and throat punch you and get it over with”
Travis started laughing from his spot behind you “She means it” Davidson shook his head “Oh hell no. I’m not going there. We were wondering about the nickname Deuce” “All of you?” you asked, turning slightly to look at the other occupants of the vehicle. Lopez and Franklin both nodded. You met Travis’ eyes and he grinned “Ok, that they can know”
He laughed “Deuce is a nickname for Medusa. Long story short, we were chasing a human trafficking ring, there was a cement truck” you watched everyone’s faces as they made the connection. “I didn’t purposely mean for half of them to end up in cement but what the hell were they gonna do? Say no? Say stop?”
Davidson grinned “Oh I like you even more now” you laughed “Good to know”
_______________________
Jay had decided to drive, just to have something to do but sit there and overthink. There was a low murmur of different conversations happening around him. He got along with his team, hell he’d made friends with most of them. He just didn’t want to talk at the moment. He was thinking about the fact that you’d always known Travis. You’d mentioned him even back when the two of you were together. When had you gotten this close with him? Was it when you were with him? Was it just after you’d taken the positions on the international team at the same time, which was weird enough on its own. Would he have to see Travis sneaking into your tent or vice versa? Army regs said the two of you couldn’t be in each other's tents after lights out since you weren’t married but that wasn’t like that ever stopped anyone. Everyone always found a work around to that. You would have to share with Samantha and the women in his squad.
He didn’t know how the hell he was supposed to hold his damn tongue when it was so obvious what the hell was going on yet you’d been ready to persecute him for getting with a partner. He rotated his neck in a tight circle and Reynolds tapped his shoulder “You good Halstead?”
He realized how tight he’d been clenching the wheel so he loosened his grip and nodded, “Yeah, I’m good”
Jay Halstead x Reader (nicknamed Deuce/surnamed Barlowe no first name used)
Once the first mission is over successfully, you make it clear to Jay that you two are nothing to each other off the field. Will he hold to that? Your team stands strong to your side regardless and aren't going anywhere.
Warnings: Violence, use of explosives, killings, drugs, gun violence, I think that's it?
You were standing, looking over the layout of the house. You’d managed to get your hands on blueprints from about five years ago when the city had forced a renovation of the house, thanks to Roxie. Next to it you had an aerial view map laid out to try to plan how the fuck you were supposed to get your people in without getting slaughtered before you made it to the front door.
The La Mano de Sangre owned the entire damn neighborhood. A solid ten block radius around the stash house was their eyes and ears. You wouldn’t be able to have a hummingbird land on a windowsill without them knowing. “What ya thinking?” Marcel asked and you scrubbed a hand down your face “I’m thinking we need to get their eyes somewhere else. Set off timed charges here” you pointed to an area of the map “And here” then pointed to another area of the map.
“Draw 'em out and take' em down?” he asked and you nodded “Exactly. Remember that time in Moscow? When we had to play by the locals' rules and it turned out they had pretty decent ideas?” he grinned “Yeah I remember” You turned to face him “Talk to Morrison, he’s the explosives expert on Halstead’s Squadron” he nodded, started to walk out then stopped. You raised an eyebrow “Something wrong Cel?” he shook his head “Are you sure you’re up to using explosives electively?” you smiled slightly, thankful for having people who cared enough to ask. “I’m good Everson, really”
“Ok Deuce, I’ll go find Morrison and see what he can get his hands on as far as timed charges go” you nodded and he walked out of the room.
You were spending so much time between your office and the base, they’d issued temporary ids to you, Marcel, Travis and Samantha just to make coming and going easier and it’d only been about a week. This would be the first mission of the op. Your stomach was knotted up. It would be fine, you had three highly trained agents at your back and no matter how badly he’d ripped you apart Jay was competent when it came to shit like this. That much you could trust and you’d ran his team. They were all solid choices, they could hold their own in the field. If this was pulled off without a hitch it would hopefully be the first domino falling. That’s what you needed, that first little push to actually hit the ground running. That would calm your nerves and push Jay’s presence to the back of your mind.
“Deuce” you heard Travis’ voice as he walked into the conference room that Nolan had basically given you the run of. You looked over your shoulder at him and smiled slightly. “Hey, did you talk to him about the fact that you’ll be with him?” he nodded “Yeah, he didn’t seem too happy about it but I reminded him that his squadron is second tier to our team and that you’re SSA. Your call goes and that I support your call one hundred percent”
“Thank you, I know I’ve got to woman up and face him but I want to get this first one under our belt successfully first” why you felt the need to explain yourself to Travis of all people you had no idea. He walked up next to you, looking over the map before he said “You don’t owe him anything. What did he expect? You to run into his arms after what he did?”
You laughed despite yourself “Hell, I don’t even know why he resigned from CPD. I’ve looked over his record, I got Mouse to do a deep dive with Voight. He got someone else to call of course, he was on track to take over intelligence. What the fuck is he even doing here?”
“Show him how you run shit, show him you do this better than anyone. Show him why the army trusted you to step in and have a team at your back” Travis offered and you nodded and held out your fist, he bumped it with his own before you said “Line ‘em up?” he grinned “And knock “em down”
“Halstead, you’re with Bailey” you spoke, forcing yourself to maintain eye contact with Jay considering all of you were prepping to go into this raid. Your team would be waiting at one ambush point, Travis’ team at the other. Jay raised an eyebrow, mainly because that was the first time you’d spoken directly to him since the team was introduced but just said “Take Davidson with you” you were thankful he didn’t argue or push it.
The forces were divided. Your team consisted of yourself, Marcel and six soldiers. Travis’ team consisted of him, Jay, Samantha and six other soldiers. After the timed charges were detonated you would either take out or incapacitate the guards. You would meet in the middle and move together into the stash house. Morrison had equipped you, Travis, Jay and Davidson with stun grenades as well as a couple other toys you’d brought in your bag of goodies from the fed supplied treats.
“Move smart, if you get in a tight spot let it be known and just push forward do not let them get you cornered. Do not go into any place that has not been cleared by the dogs” you ordered, looking around at the group. They all nodded. “Move out and everyone make it back” “Yes ma’am” was repeated around the room.
_____________________
You stood next to Davidson, your com in to let you know when Travis and Jay were in place. “Trav, you set?” “Waiting on you” you nodded to Davidson “Hit it”
The moment you gave the order both charges went off and within moments you could hear hollering, men’s voices and the clear sounds of vehicles being loaded up to respond “Alright boys and girl, here comes the fun” this was what cleared your head, clarity in the chaos. The cars got closer and you whistled to Marcel, he whistled back and the soldiers got into place. The cartel wanted to see a fucking ambush, they’d get a damn ambush.
_____________________
After incapacitating what guards you could and securing them to ensure they weren’t going anywhere, you moved the bodies of the others to ensure they weren’t found before pushing forward. You hit your com “Trav, talk to me” “Pushing into the stash house, what about you?” “Heading your way” “Meet you in the middle”
The soldiers fell in step with you and Marcel, half took the west side of the street behind you, half took the east behind him. Franklin, the handler was right on your heels with Rex. A German Shepard. You felt Rex nudge at your leg at every corner. Franklin had told you that meant he didn’t smell anything out of the ordinary when he did that.
You slid around the corner and spotted Travis leading one team along with Jay leading the other. You held up a hand to halt the teams behind you then motioned for them to circle up “Half of you follow me to Bailey, other half follow Davidson to Halstead. We move as one on the stash house. When we get to it, my team will take the front, Halstead’s team will take the back. Are we clear?” they all nodded then moved.
_____________________
When you got to the stash house you nodded to Jay and motioned for him to turn his com on. He clicked it and you hit your own “You copy?” “Copy” he led his team around the back as you got your team in position. “Hit it”
The knocker and the dogs went in first. Then the rest of you went in. You took out one man as he was aiming for Young, the other dog's handler. She nodded to you as the house was moved through, being cleared room by room. You were zip tying offenders as you went and had them lying throughout the house, some were laying face to face with their dead buddies but not like their dead buddies had cared about trying to kill any of you.
“Headcount” you called out and Travis called back “All accounted for” Davidson cut his eyes at you “Your squad and my team” he nodded “Oh” you saw Jay look your way at that. You weren’t trying to talk to him. “Ok, Someone wanna get the humvees so we can start stacking these assholes up and roll out?” you asked and Travis laughed “That’s her talk for good job”
You were back at the base, finishing up the reports on the op. Nolan walked in “Good reports Barlowe” you looked up “Thank you” he nodded “So, are you still pissed?” you nodded “Oh I’d strangle you bare handed if I was given a chance” he laughed “Remind me to not piss you off when we’re away from the base or your office” you grinned “Oh, of course”
He leaned against the doorframe, despite the fact that it was his own office you’d taken over “Have you spoken to him? Since he is leading the squad and you’re the Agent over this whole damn thing?” “Enough” you replied, signing the bottom of the report and shoved it into his hand “Have a good evening Johnny” “You too”
You shoved past him and stepped out into the hallway. Samantha, Marcel and Travis would be waiting on you in the conference room. Considering you lived with Samatha and Roxie, all of you just drove the twenty minute commute to the base together most days.
You walked around a corner and slammed into a hard chest, cursing as you dropped your belongings. “Son of a bitch” you hadn’t even looked to see who you’d ran into. You were tired, starving and wanted some sleep. It wasn’t until you squatted down and Jay squatted in front of you that you realized your mistake “Sorry about that, I wasn’t watching where I was going” he spoke, voice low.
He reached to help you gather what you’d dropped and you shook your head “No need Halstead. Continue on your way. I got this” “We worked well together in the field” he tried and you nodded “That’s in the field, when the lives of your soldiers and my team hang in the balance. I won’t risk any lives, no matter who I have to work with”
He moved back as you grabbed your stuff and stood up straight. When you managed to meet his eyes you were proud of yourself. “We have to face each other. We have to work together. Beyond missions, we owe nothing to each other. We are nothing to each other”
“Deuce!” you heard Samantha’s voice and felt your shoulders loosen. She walked up behind Jay and purposely slid between you and him “C’mon. Roxie called, she’s making stuffed mushrooms. Your favorite”
She slipped her arm through yours and the two of you quickly walked away, leaving Jay standing in the hallway.
Jay Halstead x Reader (nicknamed Deuce/ Surname Barlowe no first name used)
When you’re tasked with your team working with the army to take on cartels you show up to the base to meet the Squadron you’ll be working with. You don’t expect him to be there.
Warnings: mention of past infidelity, mention of violence, wee bit of just mental issues going on because of being faced with an ex you never wanted to face again
You were sitting in your office, trying to catch up on dozens of emails and a stack of paperwork high enough you could probably hide behind it if you put it down on the floor when Travis knocked. You welcomed the distraction so you pushed back from your desk and turned towards the door “Yeah Trav? What’s up?”
“Nolan is on line two for you” you sighed “Thanks” he nodded and walked out. You rotated your neck in a tight circle then picked up the phone “Agent Y/N Barlowe” Nolan chuckled lightly “Don’t you mean Supervisory Special Agent Barlowe?” you laughed “Bite me Johnny. What is so important you decided to save me from all the emails and paperwork I’ve yet to catch up on?” he out right laughed then “I need your team’s help in Bolivia” “With what exactly?” “Drug Interdiction. I know you were already hot on numerous cartel targets before, this is your chance to line em up and knock em down”
“Who will we be working with?” you asked and he took a breath “You’ll be assigned an army squadron. They’ll answer to you. Just consider them extra boots on the ground, extra security too so nothing happens like before because there will be at least two explosives experts amongst them” you rolled your bottom lip between your teeth, “Ok, let me update my team. When do we need to meet them?” “The man leading the team will be here in two days” “Ok, I’ll be ready when his boots hit the dirt”
You ran a tight team, it had to be. You shared a place with two of them. The other four lived nearby. You worked together, traveled together. Your very lives depended on each other. You stood with Travis, Marcel and Samantha just outside the base in Bolivia. Even with your credentials you still had to go through the security scans.
Nolan stood just on the other side of the gate, trying to hide his smirk when he could see how much your irritation was growing with every second. A soldier touched your lower back and you stiffened “If you want to keep your hand I suggest backing up Private” he nodded “Yes ma’am. I apologize”
Once the four of you were cleared they opened the gate and you walked through. Nolan held his hand out “Barlowe, looking pleasant as always” “Fuck off Nolan” you greeted before introducing your team. He nodded and waved for the four of you to follow him. “When can we meet the squad we’ll be working with? I don’t like going in blind John, you know this. I wanted background on all of them this morning” he nodded “I know and I apologize. They’re waiting to be called and I have their backgrounds as well”
Samantha rolled her eyes “Backgrounds at the same time as a face to face?” you cut her eyes at her “Army” Nolan shook his head “Says the woman who’s been tangled in with the army for how many years?” “Shut up Johnny” you laughed.
___________________
You followed him into the building and through the hallways. He stopped at one door and waved the four of you in. You stepped into his office and he handed you a stack of folders “This will be your team” you nodded to his desk “You mind?” he shook his head “Go ahead”
The four of you went over each member of the team, patching Roxie in so she could verify everyone’s information as you went. They all seemed like solid choices but you realized when you got to the bottom of the stack you hadn’t clocked anyone qualified to lead the squad. “Where’s the background for their lead?” you asked and Nolan sighed “Shit, I’m sorry Deuce, it’s been a long day” that was a nickname he hadn’t used on you in a long while.
He walked over to his filing cabinet and handed you another folder. The moment you opened it, you felt like you’d been slammed in the chest by a semi. The folder hit the floor and you shook your head “Nope, I’m not doing this” Nolan raised an eyebrow “What’s the issue? Your higher ups have already signed off on this. Barlowe the whitehouse knows about this”
Your team was staring at you like you’d grown a second head. There hadn’t been very many times they’d seen you this shaken. You glared at Nolan “I fucking hate you. You knew from my background with Gerwitz” he shrugged “I needed the best” you picked up the folder and handed it to Travis. He opened it and cursed “Son of a bitch” looking back at the rest of your team was a photo of Jay and his background from his first time in the army and his service record within CPD. Hell you hadn’t even known he’d resigned.
You were pacing while Nolan went to retrieve Jay and his team. Travis stepped up beside you “You’re holding your stomach again” it was a low whisper, just between the two of you. You looked down and sure enough you had a hand curled around your lower stomach. “Shit, thanks Trav” he nodded “Just, don’t let this knock you down Deuce”
“I’m not going to, he’s not worth it” you replied with a smile. Once you heard Nolan’s boots followed by what sounded like a herd of elephants in boots following him you nodded to your team and they all stepped up on either side of you.
____________________
Nolan hadn’t told Jay much, just that the FBI team his squad would be reporting to was on base and wanting to meet. He nodded and fell in step with Nolan, his squad behind him. Nolan pushed open the door to the conference room and you looked up, eyes hardening when they landed on him. He breathed your name and every set of eyes in the room looked between the two of you like they were waiting to see what was about to happen.
“That’s Supervisory Special Agent Barlowe Soldier” you reprimanded and he raised an eyebrow as Nolan bit back a laugh and waved a hand giving you the floor. You stepped a little in front of the two men and one woman that was with you “As I just said I’m Supervisory Special Agent Y/N Barlowe. Barlowe works. You’ll hear my team refer to me as Deuce sometimes do not think that means you can, no offense but don't”
You motioned to the man closest to you, he was around Jay’s height, same build too. The only difference was he was probably of Latin descent with light brown eyes and black hair “This is Agent Travis Bailey” you motioned to the other man, he was a little shorter than Travis but just as broad, light brown hair and bright green eyes. “Agent Marcel Everson” then motioned to the woman who was around your height and built with a braid that matched the one you normally wore in her shoulder length black hair as her dark brown eyes watched his every move “Agent Samantha Peterson”
You took a step forward to be standing between your team and the squadron “We have a lot of skin in the game in bringing down these cartels. You’re assigned to us because we have further jurisdiction without risking a war. You’re the boots we need, the muscle and guns to help bring down the worst of the worst. If anyone has any issues with playing by our rules, there’s the door hit it now. If not, lets hit the ground running and get these mother fuckers looking over their shoulders for a change”
Jay heard murmurs from around the squad. They were all positive. They were all ready to follow your lead. You nodded “Ok then, meet each other, play nice and then we’ll see about getting to work”
You spoke to Travis and he nodded, eyes flickering to Jay. Didn’t take a genius to know he was the topic of discussion.
He took a step towards you but like it was planned your entire team stepped between you and him. “Not today Halstead” Travis spoke first and he looked at you but you weren’t looking at him. He nodded “Ok” and backed off. Wasn’t like either of you were getting to go anywhere any time soon.
__________________
The moment Jay walked into the room you felt your fingertips go cold. You’d never wanted to face him again. Now here he stood, dressed in army fatigues and waiting for your damn orders. Travis stepped close to you “What’s the play?” “We do our damn jobs and do them well” he nodded, eyes flickering towards Jay “And what about him?”
“Please keep him away from me by any means necessary, at least for a few days” “I’ve got you. Get your feet under you, he won’t bother you. If he’s got questions he can come to me” “Thanks Travis” you whispered and he nodded “Of course boss” causing a small smile to slip onto your lips.
Jay took a step towards you and within missing a beat all three members of your team stepped between you and him. “Not today Halstead” Travis told him and you averted your eyes but could feel his eyes on yours as he said “Ok” This was going to be a long eight months, if it didn’t end up getting extended.
Jay Halstead x Reader (nicknamed Deuce/ Surname of Barlowe but no first name used)
{Header by @desimarie12 consists of the fed team left to right is Marcel, Samantha, Val & Travis}
Warnings: PLEASE read warnings on each part!!!! Some have HEAVY subjects!!!
You were with Jay for so long. You were head over heels but never quite good enough for him to commit fully to. You learned that the hard way after you visit your family in Chicago and bump into him. You tuck tail back to the other side of the world. Months later your team is detailed to work with an army squad, taking on cartels. You never would’ve guessed the leader of the squad assigned to you would be none other than the man who ripped your heart to shreds one too many times. Can things ever work between the two of you? {Finished}
