That nagging feeling when you hate the OC of the fic you are currently reading but you have to push through because there aren’t many complete works, the fandom is pretty much dead and you are too mentally drain to write something yourself. Anyone? No? Just me? Alright.
• Warnings: mention of gun shots, prostitution, drugs, blood, violence, curse words. Let me know if there’s something else lol.
• Word count: 10k.
• A/N: guess who’s backkkk. Sorry for this I know it’s a long one lmao but I hope you like it, let me know in the comments what you think guys! I missed you so much, I’m trying to get back to writing even if it’s harder than I thought 😭 thank you always for your support, and thank you especially to everyone who stayed. I love you all ❤️
“Hey Halstead, you could finish filling out this case report instead of decorating the office,” you began, throwing him a paper ball from your desk, which was directly across from his. He almost jumped, then pretended like it hadn’t caught him off guard, but you didn’t miss it, and that was enough to make you laugh shamelessly.
He shot you a dirty look before picking up the paper ball that had fallen onto his laptop and throwing it back at you. You, however, weren’t taken aback and managed to catch it.
“Sorry, Miss Detective, but I haven’t gotten a master’s degree in hieroglyphics yet, so next time please write in English.”
You pressed your lips together because — you hated to admit it — that joke almost made you laugh. Almost.
You and Jay had been working together in Intelligence for years, having joined the team a year after him. You couldn’t exactly call your relationship with Jay idyllic, not the kind of relationship you had between friends. In fact, you bickered more often than you were ‘at peace.’
You didn’t mind, though. It’d be an exaggeration to say you hated Jay, he wasn’t the most pleasant company sometimes either, but he was a solid partner, and for some strange and absurd reason, your partnership worked and it worked very well.
Whether in the field, during interrogations, or on undercover missions, you and Jay had a connection that would’ve had a hard time believing.
It was true, you bickered often, you almost never agreed, there wasn’t a moment when one of you didn’t say something the other didn’t respond to with a stinging, sarcastic retort. You were both stubborn as mules, your personalities clashed like lightning and thunder, but outside the unit, you knew you could count on him, and he on you. And that would never change.
Before you could respond to his answer—and by respond, you meant throwing him the paper ball again—Voight’s gravelly voice urged you to stop wasting time and get to work right away.
You returned to the files on your desk, but not before glaring at Jay, who winked back at you, a mischievous smile plastered across his lips before he, too, resumed reading the report.
A wink. A damn wink.
Did you mention that one of the reasons you found Jay Halstead so damn annoying was that he was so handsome and attractive that it made your blood boil? Well, now you know.
It wasn't something you struggled to hide—you were the kind of person who managed to stay in control—but you hated the way that man seemed to make every cell in your body ignite with excitement, and how damnably drawn you were to him like a moth to a flame, despite him being unbearable most of the time.
The calm of the morning was suddenly interrupted when a case came in. Intelligence had been called following the kidnapping of the mayor’s son. Since it was a high-profit case, all the city’s attention was focused on it, and the entire police force was working on it.
The team worked day and night to bring Nate home, turning the boy’s and his father’s lives upside down. There were many suspects; there were many people who hated the mayor and who might have targeted the boy to get revenge on his father.
“It’s personal, of course. They made no calls, no ransom demands or money, no ‘don’t involve the police or your son is dead,’ whoever kidnapped Nate knew what they were getting into; they kidnapped him to directly attack the mayor,” Jay had said while the team was in the unit discussing the case. You glanced at Jay as he spoke, you sitting at your desk and he sitting on the edge of his, arms crossed over his chest. Voight nodded, agreeing with Halstead.
“And it’s a team effort. No one could kidnap the mayor’s son alone and go unnoticed,” Kim continued.
“We need to divide the tasks and we need to hurry, the boy’s life is hanging in the balance. Like Halstead said, it’s personal, so whoever kidnapped him won’t kill him until they get something from the mayor. This gives us some time to investigate possible suspects,” Voight intervened. “Atwater and Burgess interview all his friends and any possible witnesses. Ruzek and Upton locate nearby cameras and analyze the footage. Halstead and Y/Ln investigate the mayor’s background, threatening calls or letters, anything that might indicate a threat.”
You and Jay exchanged a look, and he wiggled his eyebrows, making you roll your eyes in annoyance before you stood up from your desk.
“I’ll drive,” Jay said as you headed to the car to talk to the mayor himself. The tension between you was palpable, but as usual, you suppressed it, trying to convince yourself it was just the tension from the case you were investigating.
Before you could respond, you saw him heading for the driver’s seat and huffed loudly, getting in the car yourself a few seconds later. “I’m perfectly capable of driving too, you know?”
Jay glanced at you, unconsciously taking a few extra nanoseconds to look at you as you put on your seatbelt. “I want to get to the destination alive, nothing personal.”
His gaze lingered for a moment on your profile, the line of your nose and jaw, the outline of your lips. It lasted almost literally a millisecond, and as soon as he saw you turning toward him, he immediately looked away, taking the car keys from his pants pocket and inserting them into the ignition.
“You didn’t just say that after I saved your life in that car chase last week.”
He laughed softly as he started the car, unable to resist looking at you again. “You’re never going to let it go, are you?”
A triumphant smile spread across your face, and Jay sucked in a breath. “No. Never.”
He remained still for a moment, one hand resting on the steering wheel. There was only a few moments of silence, during which the only sound echoing was that of the engine having just started. Every trace of your teasing smiles had vanished from your faces as your eyes met, his deep, searching ones staring at you, studying you with such intensity you almost looked away.
But you didn’t.
And neither did he, not in that moment.
If Jay had looked down, he would’ve seen the way your fingers were gripping the edges of your jacket tightly, how your breathing had slowed, heavier, as if every breath of air was struggling to reach your lungs.
Jay wanted to say something, he knew exactly what, and he knew that if he did, nothing would be the same again, so he was the first to look away. He couldn’t look you in the eyes anymore, not when those irises seemed to want to suck him alive.
The silence hung heavy inside that cabin, filled with unspoken words and unexpressed thoughts.
As Jay drove, he tried to keep his focus on the road, on the case, and not on the woman sitting next to him, whose presence seemed to fill every space of his being.
But he couldn’t help but think about the fact that he didn’t always have the chance to look at you that closely, that often, if not from afar. He’d almost forgotten all those details of your face that he couldn’t admire from afar, every little imperfection and detail of your skin that made you unique.
Because from afar, he couldn’t notice those details. He could only look at you when you were talking to Kim, for example, while you were all together in the kitchen drinking that awful coffee, when you gesticulated with your hands while discussing something, looking at you furrow your brows when you were perplexed, highlighting the little wrinkles in the middle of your forehead.
He could only see how you tied your hair with a pencil when you didn’t have a ponytail, how strangely you held your pen while filling out case reports, how you threw your head back when you laughed heartily and had the habit of hitting the arm of anyone nearby. But he also saw when he occasionally caught you looking at him and how you blushed when he did, then pretended nothing was wrong or just gave him the middle finger out of spite.
“Planet Earth calling Halstead, are you still here among us mere mortals?” Your voice caught his attention, not even realizing how lost he was in his thoughts.
“Sorry, you’re so annoying my brain tuned out your voice for a moment,” he couldn’t help but retort, because if there was one thing he loved to do and looked forward to every day, it was to piss you off.
He couldn’t help but chuckle when you hit him on the arm. “Piece of shit.”
“Oh c’mon, I was just kidding. I was just thinking about the case. What were you saying?”
What a load of bullshit, buddy.
You started discussing the case, and that brief moment, that dangerous exchange of glances that had taken place only minutes before, seemed to have already faded into oblivion, and he tried to convince himself, trying to forget how much it had made his heart skip a beat.
A notification on your phone interrupted the conversation for a few seconds. about the case, and when you unlocked it, you saw a message and a missed call.
From Mr. Sanders:
Y/n, I tried calling you, but I assume you‘re at work. Call me as soon as you can, it’s important.
A feeling of anxiety made your stomach twist. Mr. David Sanders was a man in his fifties, elegant and refined in appearance, and he was your lawyer.
Jay glanced at you, noticing your momentary silence, frowning for a moment as he saw you quickly typing on your phone.
“Everything okay over there?” Jay began, breaking the silence.
You quickly locked the phone before putting it back in your jacket, immediately adopting your usual cheeky and provocative expression. “What’s up, Halstead? You afraid I’m cheating on you?”
But Jay knew you well. Too well, even though you’d never admit it and he knew something was bothering you.
He also knew you’d never tell him willingly, always wanting to put on the superhero mask that could solve everything on her own, no matter what the problem.
“Have any of you noticed anything strange? A suspicious car, any unusual behavior?” Jay asked, addressing the mayor directly once you reached his house.
“What the hell do you care about this? My boy is God knows where, and you’re wasting your time with these stupid questions?!”
"We understand your frustration and assure you that our team and the entire police force are working tirelessly to find your son, and we won’t stop until he comes home,” you replied, your voice calm, understanding a father's frustration and concern for his son. “But we have reason to believe this attack is personal, so anything you can tell us can help us find the man who did this and your son’s whereabouts.”
The mayor ran his hands over his face in frustration, getting up from the couch and pacing around the living room.
“I get threatening letters practically every week. It’s hard to keep track of them and separate the serious ones from the fake ones.”
“Were any of these letters particularly violent or specific? Anything that might indicate a premeditated plan?” Jay asked, his hands in his pockets as his eyes followed the mayor as he paced nervously around the living room.
He hesitated for a moment, as if considering it, then nodded. “There was a letter a couple of months ago. It was about revenge. It said I would pay with ‘what I love most.’ It was disturbing, but there was nothing concrete.” The mayor gasped, starting to cry desperately. “It’s my fault… I… My boy, my baby…”
You and Jay exchanged a meaningful look before he approached the mayor, placing a hand on his shoulder and steadying him. Your heart broke for that poor, broken family, unable to begin to imagine what they were going through. “It’s not your fault, okay? Look at me, Mr. King. Your son is fine. Whoever did this wants to make you suffer. They haven’t gotten what they really want yet, and if they still haven’t reached out, it means Nate is still alive; they won’t do anything to him without your knowledge. That’s the point of his kidnapping.”
The mayor wiped away his tears, nodding feebly. “I’ll give you the letter.”
Scanning it, you noticed that the language was indeed violent and specific, but the signature was only an initial: “R.”
Jay tilted his head, thoughtful, before turning to the mayor. “It seems personal, like we said before. Do you recognize that initial?”
“I-I don’t… I don’t know… It could be anyone. Like I said, I have a lot of enemies,” he replied.
“We’ll have our technicians analyze it right away. We’ll let you know as soon as we know anything,” you said. “We’ll find Nate.”
During the rest of the day, you worked tirelessly, but your mind was racing, and you hated yourself for realizing that none of it was directed at the case.
Your attention was focused solely on that message from Sanders, on what he had to tell you. When you called him, you were in the locker room. It was already seven in the evening, and with each ring, your heart was beating faster and faster.
“Hello dear, it’s nice to hear you, how are you?” Mr. Sanders answered.
“Good evening, Dave. I’m fine thank you. I’m sorry to bother you now, but I’m busy with work. There’s a case…”
“Oh yeah, that boy’s kidnapping, I suppose. Bad story.”
“Yeah,” you sighed. “What did you want to talk about? It doesn’t take a detective to figure out it’s not something good.”
Sanders chuckled, but it was a bitter laugh, there was no humor behind it. “It’s about Marcus.”
Your breath caught for a moment. “What about him?”
“I’m so sorry, Y/n, I did everything in my power, but…” he sighed this time. “He got parole, he’s out of prison.”
“What?” You said, but it came out moreIt was like a whisper, and for a moment you prayed you’d misheard, that your brain hadn't processed those words correctly. “How is this possible? After everything he did... To those girls, those people... To me!”
You were furious, not at Sanders, but at the system that was supposed to protect you.
“I’m so sorry. He got a deal after leaking the names of several big people, and we’re not talking about just any people, but political figures, senators, doctors, lawyers, CEOs...”
“And obviously, some people’s names are worth more than justice.”
“I wish I could say you’re not right, but you know I’m on your side darling. I did everything I could,” he spoke. “But you’ll be safe, he’ll be monitored closely and the first mistake he makes he’ll be back in prison...”
You let out a bitter laugh, running a hand through your hair in frustration. “And you think that’ll stop him?” you snapped. “I have to go, Dave, thanks for letting me know.”
“Y/n, wait, how are you now?”
“I’ll be fine,” you muttered. You were brought back to Earth when the locker room door opened, revealing Jay with a tired, worn-out expression. “I have to go, bye.”
You ended the call and then casually tossed your phone into your bag, trying to act as if nothing had happened.
You’d be fine. Whatever happened, you’d be able to get through it, like you always did.
“I thought you’d left,” he spoke first as he looked while he approached his locker. He watched you pretend to search for something in your locker and immediately noticed how you constantly avoided his gaze.
“Apparently not yet,” you replied in a cold, distant tone.
Jay didn’t respond, but as he opened his locker, he continued to steal glances at you. Even a blind man could’ve noticed your tense posture, your frown, your heavy breathing, the way you avoided his gaze.
He’d noticed something had shifted since you’d gotten that call, but he tried to mind his own business, knowing that if he asked you anything, you’d probably just shoot him in the face.
“Well, see you tomorrow.”
“Yeah, goodnight.”
Jay left, but not before giving you one last look. You weren’t looking at him; your eyes seemed to be focused on something undefined.
You sat in the locker room for an eternity as your mind replayed your last encounter with Marcus Kane, his angry shouts, the threats he’d scream at you.
“I’ll come back, you bitch! You’ll pay for what you did to me! If it’s the last thing I do, I’ll kill you!” He screamed as they handcuffed him and led him into the police car, and those were the last words you heard before you lost consciousness, submerged in a pool of your own blood.
Your hand instinctively went to the scar on your side as those words continued to echo in your own, as if they had been spoken only moments before, as if you could still feel the knife piercing your skin.
You left, closing the door behind you, hoping that all of this was just a nightmare.
Three days had passed since that call, and you continued working.
Nothing happened, you didn’t receive any threatening calls but you always watched your back, your gun always within reach even when you slept, or at least when you tried.
In three days, you’d probably slept five hours, and the fatigue was starting to set in. You were stressed, constantly on edge, you had the constant feeling that someone was following you, and you knew Marcus Kane was out there waiting for you; you could sense him waiting for the right moment to attack you.
For three days, you worked nonstop on the case, day and night, to bring Nate home. He was still alive; there was video evidence of the kidnapper forcing him to demand his own ransom, after beating him almost to death.
“You’re going to give yourself a heart attack with all that caffeine,” Jay said, leaning against the kitchen doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest. He didn’t expect to see you jump in fright, and he didn’t know whether to suppress a laugh or worry, because you weren’t the type of person who scared easily.
“You bastard,” you muttered in a not-so-low voice, not even looking at him, making him chuckle. “Thanks, but I didn’t ask for your medical advice, Halstead.”
“It was just an observation,” he commented, seeing the almost obsessive way you were stirring the sugar in your coffee.
“Well, go make observations somewhere else,” you replied, your back still turned toward him.
There was a brief moment of silence, as he continued to observe you, your stiff posture, the way you avoided looking him in the eye. Jay wasn’t stupid; he’d noticed this sort of change since you’d received that call. But he didn’t want to push you, he knew you’d withdraw even further.
You then turned to leave, but he pushed himself from the doorframe, preventing you from leaving. He noticed the slight tremor in your hand holding the cup and he couldn’t just act like nothing was happening. “Hey, are you okay?”
You sighed, your eyes still fixed on your cup before finally looking up at him. “I’m fine.”
A curt, mechanical reply, devoid of any emotion.
He looked at you for a few moments, his eyes fixed on yours almost as if he wanted to study you, as if he was searching for some way to extract the answers he knew he’d never voluntarily receive from you.
“Y/n. You’ve been fine for three days,” he replied, his voice tightening. “You’re not sleeping, you jump at the slightest noise. Whenever we’re out, all you do is look around.”
“You like me that much, huh?”
“I’m being serious, this isn’t you. What’s going on?”
Your jaw clenched. “You don’t know me well enough to decide what’s me and what’s not, do you?”
He let out a sigh, trying to keep his voice calm. “We’ve been working together for a while now, and I know fear when I see it.”
The silence that followed was heavy. You felt your throat tighten but swallowed hard, refusing to show it. “Drop it, Jay.”
He sighed again, realizing it’d be completely pointless to push any further. “Fine, do whatever you want.”
“Good.” And with that, you walked past him back to your desk.
-
The night air smelled of rain and tension, cold against your skin. The sound of water hitting the rusty metal of the warehouse provided a soft background, even soothing at times.
Through the earpiece, the team’s voices alternated with the crackling radio.
“Unit one in position.”
“Copy that.”
“Unit two.”
“Copy that.” Jay replied, ducking behind a stack of crates, his rifle ready. You were a little further ahead, your eyes fixed on the road, your fingers on your weapon, ready.
The money would be exchanged between the kidnapper and the mayor, and Intelligence was there, ready to capture the man and save the boy.
You kept looking around, nervous, impatient. Jay had noticed it, and he would be lying if he said it didn’t worry him.
“Breathe, Y/n,” Jay murmured, noticing the way you were trembling.
“I’m fine. I’m just cold, Halstead,” you replied, quickly glancing at him. Your clothes were now stuck on your skin, that much was true, and at other times you might’ve even been able to convince him, but not now, not with what had been happening to you lately.
“Let me know when you’ll believe it.”
You didn’t reply, but he knew you’d heard him.
“Target incoming,” Ruzek’s voice broke the silence.
A black van approached, its headlights now off, and stopped a few meters from the entrance to the old warehouse. Everyone was silent, their breath held, the rain being the only sound.
A man climbed out of the driver’s seat. He walked around the van and, instead of opening the door, remained standing there, his furious gaze fixed on the mayor standing a few meters away, the bag containing the money in his hands.
A mask covered his face so you couldn’t see him. But it didn’t matter, the plan was simple. Get eyes on the kid. Make the exchange. Take the man down.
But it wasn’t simple. It never was.
“Here’s your money, where’s my son?” The mayor’s voice was shaky.
“Give me my money first.”
“That wasn’t the deal. Give me my son and I’ll give you the money.”
The man pointed his gun at the mayor, and everyone stiffened, their weapons raised, ready for an order.
“Wait.” Voight ordered.
“You’ll pay for what you did to me,” the man retorted, and then the back doors of the van opened, but instead of the boy, two other masked men stepped out, both armed and their weapons ready to shoot.
“Gun!” Jay shouted, grabbing your arm and shoving you behind cover as the team spread out.
Your heart pounded in your ears.
Your eyes landed on the van and you saw a figure lying down in the back, you didn’t even know who it was. You didn’t think. You just moved.
Ignoring Jay’s warning, you broke from behind the crate, sprinting toward the van while bullets snapped past your head. The sound was deafening, every step a gamble. You almost reached it—
“Y/n!”
Jay’s voice cuts through everything. A second later, something hit you hard, him. He slammed into you, taking you down just as a bullet grazed the concrete where you’d been standing.
You hit the ground with a grunt, the impact knocking the breath from your lungs. Jay’s body covered yours, solid and heavy, his hand pressed against the back of your head to shield you as he returned fire.
For a moment, just a heartbeat, everything stilled.
The world narrowed to the smell of gunpowder and the sound of your ragged breaths tangled together. His eyes found yours, only inches away, fierce, terrified, and something else you couldn’t name.
Then his expression hardened.
“What the fuck were you thinking?!” he snappep, still half-hovering over you. “Are you trying to get yourself killed?!”
“I—I saw him—”
“I don’t care!” he barked, voice sharp, chest rising and falling fast. “You move like that again, and you’re dead, do you hear me?!”
You swallowed hard, your pulse racing for reasons that had nothing to do with adrenaline. “Get off me.”
He hesitated — just for a second — before pushing himself up, still glaring at you as he scanned the perimeter.
The team closed in, the gunfire fading, suspects down, the boy saved, crying in his father’s arms. But Jay didn’t look away from you.
You brushed dirt off your vest, trying to ignore the sting in your arm where you’d hit the ground. “I had it under control.”
He lets out a low, humorless laugh, trying to keep his voice steady even if he was about to lose his mind. “Yeah. Sure you did.”
He walked off before you could answer, leaving you standing, breathing still shaking, and for some reason, the only thing you could think about was the look in his eyes when he’d covered you.
It wasn’t anger. It was fear.
The ride back was suffocatingly quiet and for the first time in your life you hated that Jay didn’t say anything, you hated he didn’t make his usual jokes just to piss you off, you hated he didn’t even look at you.
Streetlights flickered through the windshield, washing the inside of the car in flashes of yellow and shadow. The sirens had gone silent, replaced only by the steady hum of the tires on the asphalt.
You sat in the passenger seat, staring out the window, your hands still faintly trembling. Every time you blinked, you could see it again, the van doors bursting open, the muzzle flashes, the moment Jay threw himself over you.
He still hadn’t said a single word since you got in the car.
Not one.
And somehow, that was worse than him yelling.
Finally, his knuckles tightened around the steering wheel. “What the hell were you thinking out there?”
You didn’t turn. “I was just thinking about Nate, I saw him there…”
“You almost got yourself killed.”
“I had it under control.”
His jaw clenched. “No, you didn’t. For fucks sake stop lying to me and yourself, you did something stupid and for once in your fucking life admit it.”
Silence again thick and heavy. You swallowed hard, your voice lowering. “You don’t need to babysit me, Halstead. I can take care of myself.”
“What’s happening to you? Why are you acting like this?”
You turned at that, glaring at him. “You don’t know me. You don’t know what I’ve—” You stopped, realizing your voice had cracked. You looked away quickly, blinking hard.
You felt his eyes on you but you refused to look back, you weren’t able to look at him without breaking down.
Jay’s voice softened slightly, though frustration still edged it. “You’re right. I don’t know. But I know what I saw and... And it scared the hell out of me.”
That caught you off guard. You looked at him, but this time it was him who didn’t look back. He continued, his voice lower now, almost speaking to himself. “You can hate me all you want, but I’m not gonna stand there and watch you get yourself shot.”
You didn’t know what to say. The words tangled in your throat.
You wanted to be angry, to snap something back… But all you felt was exhaustion.
“You didn’t have to save me.”
He was glancing at you and for the first time he didn’t know what to say.
The rest of the drive passed in silence.
When he pulled up in front of your building, you reached for the handle, but his hand landed gently on your arm. “You should call someone to stay with you tonight. After what happened...”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Stop saying…”
“I said I’ll be fine,” you repeated, already opening the door. You stepped out before he could say anything else, the cold air biting at your skin, already frozen due to the soaked clothes.
Jay watched you until you disappeared inside, that same gnawing unease twisting in his gut for days.
Your mind had managed to not think about what was happening to you for a few hours, but in your home, alone, those thoughts hit you again like a raging river.
You just wanted to sleep, you wanted so badly to close your eyes and rest just for a little bit, but Marcus Kane was still out there, hiding in the shadows, ready to attack you. How could you rest?
It had been almost four days since that call, and you hadn’t known peace since. You knew he’d look for you, that it wouldn’t take him long to find you, and you hated it all. You hated this wait, you hated the fear, you hated being scared to death in your own home, the place where you should feel most safe, you hated even having to shower with your gun beside you.
The apartment was quiet, too quiet.
You’d just stepped out of the shower, towel-drying your hair as you walked into the living room. The air still smelled faintly of shampoo and coffee.
For once, you thought maybe you could finally breathe.
But then the lights flickered.
And you froze, a prickle crawled up your neck.
You turned slowly toward the window, your heart almost stopped when you realized the lock was undone.
You remembered locking it. You knew you had because you checked it as soon as you got home.
How the hell was that possible?
Your pulse started pounding, sharp and shallow. You set the towel down, reaching for your gun that you now carried everywhere.
And then a voice, that voice.
“I always told you that your pride would be your downfall, sweetheart.”
You spun around and there he was.
Marcus Kane.
He was older, meaner, eyes burning with the same kind of hate you’d seen the day he was dragged into custody.
He took a step toward you, smirking. “Didn’t think you’d actually make it easy for me,” he muttered, glancing around. “Nice place, by the way. Better than the dump where I found you playing the perfect girlfriend.”
“Stay back,” you warned, gun raised, while trying to keep your hands as still as possible. “Don’t take another step,” your voice steady, not wanting to show fear. That was what he enjoyed most, seeing his victims scared to death, but you didn’t want to show him, you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.
“Oh, come on,” he said, voice dripping with mock affection. “After everything we’ve been through, you don’t even want to say hello?”
He didn’t even give you time to react.
The gun went flying as he slammed into you, both of you crashing into the coffee table but not before a shot landed in the void. Pain shot through your ribs as the wood cracked beneath you. He tried to pin you down, his forearm crushing against your throat, but you drove your knee into his side, hard.
He grunted, stumbled, and you scrambled to your feet, gasping. “You ruined my life!” he snarled, grabbing your wrist before punching you square in the face, making you step back. “Did you have fun pretending to fall in love with me? Making me trust you? You fucking bitch!”
You didn’t think, you just reacted.
It was your turn to punch him across the jaw, and you did it with all your strength, enough to make him stagger back.
He roared and swung again, but this time you were ready and dodged it. You shoved him back, grabbed the lamp from the side table, and smashed it against his head. He shouted, stumbled into the wall, enough for you to bolt toward the door. Or at least try.
He grabbed your hoodie, yanking you backward, and you felt the fabric tear, his breath hot against your ear. “Where do you think you’re going, sweetheart? We have unfinished business, you and I. You won’t get away that easily.”
You elbowed him in the side, and that was enough to make him loosen his grip around your neck, making it easy for you to turn toward him and punch him in the nose again. The crack was sickening, blood spraying as he cursed and fell to one knee.
You hit him in the face with your knee, with such force that he fell to the ground.
A kick to the stomach.
And another.
And another one.
And then you ran.
Down the hallway, out the door, barefoot, your heart thundering as his shouts echoed behind you.
You didn’t stop running, not when your feet hit the pavement, not when your shoulder screamed in pain, not when you realized you’d left everything behind except fear.
The TV was on, but Jay’s mind was focused on everything except the movie playing. He sipped occasionally from his beer bottle and couldn’t help but relive what had happened that day, the shooting, and you.
To be honest, he’d always had a hard time not thinking about you, even though he tried to convince himself otherwise.
What woke him from his reverie were loud knocks on the door, sharp, urgent.
He jumped and glanced at the clock: 12:47 AM.
Who the hell was that at that time?
He approached the door, and his heart almost stopped as he looked through the peephole.
He threw the door open, and there you were.
“Y/n...” he whispered, almost breathless, as his eyes scanned your body. You were soaked from head to toe, barefoot, your eyes wide open, tears mixing with the drops of water running down your cheeks, your body trembling. “What the hell—? Oh my god. What... What happened?”
A sob left your lips. “I… I don’t know where else to go…”
“Jesus Christ… Come here,” he without even thinking once pulled you into a hug, wrapping his arms around your body. He didn’t care you were soaked from head to toe, he just wanted to hold you. “Shh, it’s okay… It’s all right, you’re safe now.”
To his surprise, you returned the hug, as you continued to sob, your fingers clutching the fabric of his shirt as if it was your lifeline.
In all the years he’d known you, he’d never seen you like this, ever.
“It’s okay, everything’s okay, I’m here, I won’t let you go,” he kept whispering as he stroked your hair and held you tightly against his chest.
His stomach twisted with a feeling he’d never experienced before, with a rage so strong he’d raze the entire city if he could.
“Hey, look at me,” he whispered softly, pulling away from that embrace just enough to look at you. You avoided his gaze, as you had been doing for the past couple of days. “Look at me.”
The first thing he noticed when you slightly lifted your head was the purple bruise forming on your cheek. He wanted so badly to caress you, to wipe away those tears he hated to see, but he didn’t, he didn’t want to scare you away, make you feel uncomfortable.
“Talk to me, please. Who did this to you?” His voice was soft, sweet—a tone he’d never used with you—even as he tried to mask the anger and fear he was feeling in that moment.
You shook your head, not saying a word.
“Okay, okay, it’s okay, you don’t have to tell me now, okay? Come inside.”
You didn’t say anything, simply letting him lead you into his house, his hand on the small of your back as if he feared you might disappear at any moment.
It was ironic that this was the first time you’d seen his apartment and it was because something horrible had happened to you.
“Do you want anything? Some water? I can get you some clean clothes. You can take a shower if you want.”
You nodded, though you didn’t answer any of his questions. Jay stepped away for a moment, his heart still pounding as he went to his room and grabbed a pair of clean pants and a shirt from the drawer, then a pair of clean slippers before joining you in the living room. He’d found you in the same position, standing, arms crossed over your chest, staring into space.
“Here you go, take all the time you need. The bathroom is down the hall on the right; you’ll find clean towels and robes there.”
You grabbed your clothes, the trembling in your hands still there. He noticed the swelling of your hand, the cuts on your nuckles. You looked at him for a moment, and Jay felt as if he’d been hit in the gut, before whispering a faint, “Thank you.”
Jay ran his hands over his face in frustration, feeling more helpless than ever. What the hell had happened?
At that moment, his cell phone rang, and Voight's name lit up the screen.
Turns out, a patrol unit had reached your apartment after a neighbor called about what sounded like a gunshot. Upon arrival, an unknown man was found injured, confused, and still semi-conscious on your floor. The cops had called Voight after realizing the address belonged to one of the Intelligence members, but you weren’t there.
Jay reassured Voight you were with him, and you were fine, or at least seemingly so. Voight was investigating the man’s identity, and it didn’t take long to pinpoint his name: Markus Kane, a convicted felon who’d been released only a few days earlier after serving time for drug trafficking, prostitution, and murder.
It didn’t take Jay long to realize that the change in your behavior over the past few days was due precisely to Kane’s release.
“Keep an eye on her Halstead,” Voight said before ending the call.
“Of course, don’t even mention it.” The call ended, and Jay let out a sigh before placing his phone on the coffee table.
He went into the kitchen and started heating up some water so he could make you some hot tea. He didn’t know what he was doing, because since it was you and he didn’t really know how to act around you most of the time.
“I didn’t know you were the tea kind of guy, Halstead,” your voice startled him, so lost in thought he hadn’t heard you arrive. His heart probably didn’t skip a beat, not until he saw you in his clothes, even though they were a few sizes too big.
This isn’t the time Jay, stop it.
“Figured it out you wanted something hot.”
You nodded. “Thanks.” You sighed, running a hand through your now-dry hair. “Listen, Jay, I... I’m sorry to bother you...”
“Hey, no stop,” he interrupted you before letting you continue what you were saying, “If you think for even a second I’m going to let you go, you’re sorely mistaken. I’m not leaving you alone.”
You looked at him for a moment, your gaze unreadable, before lowering it to your feet.
“C’mon, let’s get comfortable on the couch.”
Jay sat down next to you, leaving a little space between you two, a space he only wanted to fill.
The silence was tense, almost suffocating; he didn’t know what to say. After all, he knew you, he knew it’d be useless to push you to tell him what had happened because that would only make you shut down even more.
But God, he was trembling, he just wanted to tear the son of a bitch who had done this to you to pieces.
You were still shaking, though not like when you’d arrived, and Jay hoped it was just the cold. He took the blanket he always had on the couch and draped it around your shoulders. “You’re shivering,” he almost whispered.
Your eyes were on his face, scared, curious, but you didn’t say a word. Jay’s heart was pounding, so fast that for a moment he feared you could hear it.
He passed the cup of tea between your hands. Your fingers barely touched, but this tiny contact made his throat tighten.
The room fell into an almost deafening silence again, broken only by the ticking of the clock on the wall and the sound of the rain still hitting the windows.
“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked. You brought the cup to your lips, taking a small sip.
“No.”
M
“Of course not,” he muttered, running his hands over his face in frustration. “Why would you ever…” He stopped.
“What?”
“Make things easy, you always have to complicate everything. You always have to put on this tough facade, pretend everything is fine, I don’t know why you do this… Seriously, you’re driving me crazy… Why can’t you just accept that someone wants to help you? Why do you think you have to deal with everything alone?”
“It’s not your job…”
“Of course it’s my job. For fucks sake we work together, you’re my partner, of course I want to help you, I care about you.”
You looked down at the cup, but Jay had noticed your shiny eyes, your trembling lip.
“Why did you come here?”
“I told you, I didn’t know where else to go.”
“Yes, you did, you could have gone to anyone else—Kim, Adam—but you came here, to me. We don’t get along most of the time. Why?”
“Jay… Enough…”
“Look at me,” he said, and you did. He tried to ignore the way seeing your tears again made him feel. He tried not to think about it, not to be distracted by the trembling of your lips, by the way you were trying to stay composed, to still feign strength when it was clear you had none left.
“Because I trust you,” you breathed out, in a whisper, “You… You’re the only person who won’t judge me, who won’t look at me like I’m a victim.”
The words hung in the air, as if they, too, were afraid of breaking. Jay stared at you, unable to say anything, incredulous that you could actually say it. His chest rose and fell rapidly, as if simply breathing had become difficult.
“Really? Please say it again, I have to record it.”
“Never, you bastard.” You both chuckled. “You’re not going to let me live this down, aren’t you?”
“Oh never, princess.”
“Don’t call me princess.”
“Alright, alright. I won’t call you princess anymore, princess.”
“God, you’re unbearable. Forget what I said.”
Jay smiled, happy to have managed to ease the tension a little, because he knew you, he knew how much you hate being vulnerable, how you used sarcasm to avoid talking about your feelings.
But he was especially happy because he finally got to see you smile. Man, he hated seeing those teary eyes of yours, and in that precise moment, he vowed to do everything in his power to never see you cry again.
There was a moment of silence.
“That’s also why I’m here,” you whispered, your eyes now fixed on the cup.
“What do you mean?”
“Because you manage to make things a little bit better.”
Jay was taken aback; he never in his life would’ve expected to hear those words from you.
But then again, that was your relationship. You bickered. It wasn’t true to say you hated each other, because you didn’t, but at the end, you were always there for each other. Not explicitly—neither of you had ever said “I’m here”—but with your jokes and arguments, with an offered beer, even just with your presence, with silence.
“Oh, don’t look at me like that now,” you continued.
“I think I’m hallucinating.”
You giggled, playfully hitting him on the arm.
You took another long sip of tea, which was now cooling. You tucked the blanket around your body, then pulled your legs up to your chest before placing the cup on the coffee table.
“Before I started in Intelligence, I worked in the Major Crimes Unit in Washington. We were investigating a large drug ring, prostitution, and a series of related murders,” you began, your gaze lost in space. Jay listened intently, his breath held almost as if he feared that if you heard him, you’d stop talking. “There was a man in charge, Marcus Kane, and there was no way to frame him. We knew he was behind all those crimes, but there was no concrete evidence. Whoever had anything to do with him, they were terrified enough not to testify...”
“So we decided to go undercover. I volunteered. Catching Marcus Kane was the perfect opportunity to make myself known. I’d just become a detective, and I wanted to prove my worth.”
Jay smiled to himself. It was just like you.
“I went undercover for about a year, pretending to be a big shot in the prostitution ring and looking for new girls to buy. He was a shrewd, paranoid guy, suspicious even of his own shadow, so it wasn’t easy. But eventually, slowly, I managed to gain his trust.”
“He fell in love...”
You nodded. “And I took advantage of this opportunity. I never did anything with him; I always managed to slip away without arousing his suspicions, playing with his feelings. Long story short, I managed to gather enough evidence to frame him, to get the victims he raped to talk… But something went wrong, and to this day I still don’t know how he got the word that there was an undercover cop,” you sighed, huddling tighter. “We fought, he managed to stab me, but before he could finish the job, backup arrived and arrested him, but not before yelling at me that he’d get revenge.”
His heart broke for you, he couldn’t even imagine how you felt in that moment, fighting for your life, fearing you were about to die.
“What happened?” Jay whispered.
“A few days ago, I got a call from my lawyer. Kane made a deal, revealed the names of some big shots he dealt with, and got of jail…” you replied.
There was another moment of silence.
“I checked every single door and window, and everything was locked… I don’t know how he got in,” you swallowed the lump in your throat. “We fought, he managed to disarm me, but believe it or not, he got the worst of it… I ran away, and here I am.”
“Oh yes, I absolutely believe you, Detective. I saw you angry,” Jay joked, trying to hide the turmoil he felt inside. He was there, he had left you at home and left. If he had insisted on staying, none of this would’ve happened.
“We caught him. Voight called me. One of your neighbors heard a gunshot and called 911. The patrol called him.”
You looked at him for a moment and let out a breath, though Jay noticed the news didn’t completely reassure you.
“He’ll find a way out this time too.”
“He attacked a cop. He won’t get away with it.”
You sighed. “I hope so, Jay.”
And there was that silence again, heavy, suffocating.
Jay’s body was tense, unable to relax. He’d never even seen that man’s face, but he hated him with every fiber of his being. Now your behavior became clear, the way you flinched, the way you constantly looked over your shoulder every time you were in the field, your recklessness during the trade.
He could only imagine the hell you went through these past days, the sleepless nights staring around, feeling vulnerable in the only place you were supposed to feel safe: your home.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured, leaning back on the couch. Neither of you seemed to realize that in the meantime, Jay had inadvertently moved closer to you, but without actually touching you. He just wanted to implicitly tell you that he was there, that he was listening, that he would protect you.
“For what? It’s not your fault.”
“For not understanding. I mean, I knew something was wrong in the past few days, but all I did was insist on asking you if everything was okay, knowing you’d push me away. I’m your partner, I know you, I know who you are, and I didn’t do anything to help you.”
Jay studied you for a long moment, the way your shoulders trembled beneath the blanket, the way your eyes kept darting toward the floor as if you were afraid of what he might find if you met his gaze. Every instinct in him screamed to pull you closer, to erase every trace of fear from your face, but he couldn’t. Not when you’d made such a point of keeping walls between you two.
And yet, seeing you like this—raw, shaken, human—cracked something inside him.
“That son of a bitch will never touch you again, do you hear me? I don’t care what it takes, he’ll never hurt you again.”
You didn’t look up, and that killed him more than anything else. Because he could see the weight behind your silence, the exhaustion, the fear, the shame you didn’t deserve to feel. He knew it was something you hated, having to ask for help, depending on someone, feeling like a burden.
He hated seeing you like this, vulnerable, almost broken.
He just wanted to see you with that bright smile of yours, so beautiful it could light up the darkest room, he wanted to hear your terrible jokes, your way of teasing him.
“I know it’s hard for you, I know you’ve always been used to facing everything alone in your life, because every person you relied on has always disappointed you, and you’ve learned you can’t trust anyone. No one but yourself,” he spoke in a sweet, patient tone, “I know I’m the last person you’d want to tell you this. We’re not exactly best friends, but you’re not alone in this world. Whatever happens to you, happens to me… To the whole team.”
“I care about you, more than you can even imagine, and I know I’ve never told you this because that’s how our relationship is… But I’ll always be there for you whenever you want me to be. I know that stubborn little head of yours will stop you from doing that, but I’m here. I won’t leave you alone now, tomorrow, or ever, no matter how much you hate the idea.”
You finally looked up at him, and his heart broke as he saw those tears streaming down your face, that beautiful face now surrounded by that damned purple bruise.
“I hate you so much, Detective Halstead,” you sniffed, drying your tears. “Remember when you told me that if things got bad, a hug could make it all go away?”
He nodded.
“I really need one right now.”
He smiled and didn’t need to be told twice before pulling you into his chest for the second time that evening. He could count on one hand the number of times you’d hugged in the years you’d known each other, but each and every single one of them was forever imprinted in his memory.
Your arms were holding him with such force it left him speechless, as if he was your lifeline, the only thing that could save you in that moment.
“I thought I’d lose you today,” he whispered, so low he didn’t even know if you’d heard him. But from the way you held him, he knew you had. “Don’t ever do that to me again, please.”
“You really like me that much, Halstead?” you murmured, making him chuckle.
You have no idea, baby.
“That’s called being a partner, you should try it sometime.” He retorted, his arms wrapped around you as he stroked your hair.
“You won’t lose me. It would be hard to find a better partner than me.”
He laughed again, pulling you even closer. “I hate to admit it, but it’s true. That’s why I’m begging you to stay in one piece.”
“I’ll try,” you chuckled this time, and he breathed an internal sigh of relief as he felt you finally relax in his arms. “Thank you for everything.”
“Anytime. I’m always here.”
You lifted your head slightly so you could look at him, and he placed a hand on your cheek, wiping away your tears with his thumb. “I don’t want to see you like this ever again,” he whispered. “Insult me, hit me, do whatever you want, but I don’t want to see you cry, see you suffer like this again.”
He saw you trying to hold back your smile, and his heart skipped another beat. “There it is, that’s that pretty smile that I like, that’s how I want to see you all the time. And if there’s anyone who stops you from doing so, promise me you’ll tell me, okay? So I’ll break his legs with my bare hands.”
You laughed, and his heart began to race this time. “Don’t you think that’s a little overboard?”
“Not at all.” He shook his head slightly. “You have no idea what I’ll do to that son of a bitch when I lay my hands on him.”
“It feels good.”
“What?”
“Feeling protected, feeling like there’s someone there to protect you, making you feel safe. It feels good.”
Those words weren’t supposed to affect him the way they did, they weren’t supposed to break his heart like that, but they did, and he hated it. Himself for feeling that way, the rest of the world for making you believe you weren’t worthy of those things.
“I know, and you won’t have to worry about that anymore, whether you like it or not.”
“I think I might like it.”
You remained silent for a moment, his heart still pounding, your breathing slowly becoming more regular. You stayed there, hugging each other on that couch as if it was the most natural thing in the world, as if you were used to it, and somehow it felt natural, for some strange reason it was supposed to be this way.
His fingers continued to delicately caress your face, he wasn’t even sure if he was doing it more for himself than for you, and with every passing second he hoped time would stop for a little longer.
“So…” it was you who broke the comfortable silence, your tone lighter. “That pretty smile that I like, huh? My God, you’re really into me, Jay.”
Jay rolled his eyes, trying to suppress a laugh. “Don’t let it get over your head, obviously I just said that to make you feel better.” He retorted, grateful you couldn’t see the blush on his cheeks, because what he’d said was as far from the truth as could be.
“Mmh, mmh,” you hummed in amusement, relieved. You tilted d your head so you could look at him. “Sure, keep telling yourself that, maybe one day you’ll believe it.”
Jay felt something inside him twist, a sharp pull low in his chest that left him breathless. He didn’t even know how to describe it, what name to give that sensation.
You looked exhausted, yes, but there was also something else, trust, maybe, or the faintest flicker of safety. And God, it almost broke him.
He’d seen you angry, stubborn, reckless; he’d fought with you more times than he could count, but he’d never seen you like this.
So close. So open, so damn real.
And you were so beautiful it took his breath away.
His eyes kept roaming over every millimeter of her face, mentally taking thousands of photos so he could imprint them in his memory, because the truth was, he didn’t know if he’d ever have the chance to have you this close again.
His throat went dry, the words burning there with nowhere to go.
Jay swallowed hard.
Don’t do something stupid. Don’t do it.
But his gaze dropped to your lips for a second too long, and he knew he had to move, immediately, before he crossed a line he couldn’t take back.
“I…” he started, his voice rougher than he expected. He cleared his throat, stood up too fast. “I’m just gonna—uh—get you some ice. For… you know.” He gestured vaguely toward the side of your face, anything to justify the sudden space between you.
He didn’t wait for a reply.
He needed distance, oxygen, anything that wasn’t the scent of your skin, anything to non to see the look in your eyes that felt like it could undo him completely.
As he reached the kitchen, he braced his hands on the counter, eyes closed, chest tight.
Fuck.
Get it together, Halstead.
Because for a second back there, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to comfort you or just kiss you until the world stopped shaking, until neither of you would have any air left in your lungs.
Jay took longer than he needed. The ice was already in the towel but he couldn’t quite bring himself to go back yet.
For fucks sake he’d faced armed men, stared down killers, fought in wars, and somehow, walking back into that living room felt harder than any of it.
When he finally did, you were sitting in the same position, knees still drawn up, blanket still wrapped around you. Your eyes found him immediately, soft but searching, like you could tell exactly what was going on inside his head even if he was trying damn hard to hide it.
He cleared his throat, forcing a half-smile.
“Here you go,” he murmured, holding out the ice. “It’ll be good for the bruise.”
You took it, your fingers brushing his again, just a second, just enough to make his skin burn under your touch.
“Thank you,” you said quietly.
He nodded, trying to focus on the movement of your hand instead of the fact that his heart was still hammering in his chest.
“Keep it on for a while,” he muttered, sitting down again, this time a little further away than before.
Safe distance. Or at least that’s what he told himself.
For a while, you both pretended to watch the rain through the window. The air still felt thick, like the room itself remembered what had just almost happened. Every once in a while, he’d steal a glance, the curve of your jaw, of your nose, your lips, the faint rise and fall of your shoulders as you breathed, and every damn time, it felt like something in him shifted.
You broke the silence first.
“Are you okay?”
Jay blinked, thrown off. “Me?” He huffed out a laugh. “You’re the one who just went through hell, and you’re asking if I’m okay?”
You shrugged lightly. “I don’t know, it seems like something is bothering you.”
He couldn’t help it, a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth before his gaze flicked to yours, holding it for just a heartbeat too long before he looked away again.
“It’s…” he said finally, voice low. “I’m just glad you’re here. That’s all.”
And that was the truth. Raw, simple, terrifying in its honesty.
Because for all his control, all his training, nothing had prepared him for how much he could care about someone who drove him this crazy, for someone who could make him feel so protective, so alive, and so close to losing every bit of restraint he had left.
Description: Will's best friend is in trouble and Jay steps in to be the hero.
Warnings: Domestic violence, abuse, mentions of blood, mentions of gun violence. DO NOT READ IF TRIGGERED BY DV
Pairings: Platonic Will Halstead x Reader, Jay Halstead x Reader
I AM IN NO WAY trying to romanticize domestic violence or abuse. If you are experiencing it PLEASE seek help. DV Hotline 1800-799-7233
The first time it happened, it was a grip on her wrist that was a little too hard. He said he didn't mean it, he was sorry.
"I love you so much, I just get a little upset"
Brandon knew how to sweet talk her.
Y/n and Brandon met when he had just started the academy and Y/n was starting school to be a radiologist. It was love at first sight. They were meant to be. Everyone that knew them said that.
They were the perfect couple and everyone loved them together.
The second time was a hard shove that sent Y/n falling into the coffee table.
The bruises and sore muscles the next day from the fall were hard to ignore but Brandon knew how to make her forget.
Flowers, cards, a romantic dinner. Multiple apologies.
The third time was Brandon screaming in her face, making her scared enough to fall down and then the kicking started.
The pain Y/n felt the next morning as she walked into work was enough to detour her day.
She looked around the ED, she knew she could go to Will. Her closest friend. But he would see right through her so she went for the next best option.
"Hey Hannah, got a sec?" Y/n asked, approaching the blonde doctor.
Y/N and Hannah were friendly, they had drinks at Molly's together--back when Y/n would show up. They aren't too close for Hannah to ask questions.
Hannah smiles, leaning against the nurses station "Yeah what's up? Everything okay?" she asks curiously.
Y/n shrugs, adjusting the tote bag on her shoulder "I was kinda clumsy and drunk last night, took a tumble I might have a cracked rib or two" She says it lightheartedly to make it more believable.
The blonde chuckles, nodding "Come on, let's take a look"
--
Will Halstead was observant. Y/n had stopped coming out to Molly's about 6 months ago. Always said she was too tired.
Then Y/n started slowly not answering his texts. Only talking to him at work.
He wasn't sure what he did to cause the distance.
The two had been inseparable since Y/n started. Will always saw her as a little sister and cared for her like one. Always checking in on her, making sure she was eating and drinking properly and Y/n did the same for him especially on those long shifts.
Y/n was the one (outside of Jay) that Will went to about everything s and when he needed to rant and usually it was always vice versa.
Until lately.
Will watched Y/n walk over to the nurses station, handing over a report to another doctor.
That's when he noticed her face, the slight bruising and cuts on her cheek raising red flags.
"Hey, what the hell happened to your face?" The red head questions, the concern written all over his face.
"Gee, Will, way to make a girl feel good about herself" Y/n says sarcastically.
Will shakes his head, looking at her in disbelief "Y/n. Seriously, what happened?"
Y/n rolls her eyes at him "I took a little tumble. Will, seriously, I'm fine" She says, a little laugh coming out.
"Dr. Halstead! Incoming!" Maggie calls from the entrance of the ED.
Will groans pointing at Y/n "This isn't over" He says seriously before grabbing gloves and running off.
Y/n lets out a sigh of relief. Thank you Maggie!
---
Relief. Joy. Warmth.
Those three words used to describe how Y/n felt when she walked into the apartment shared with her boyfriend of 6 years.
Dread. Sadness. Guilt.
Those three describe the feeling she got when she entered the apartment now.
She can feel the hostility as she hears him stomping around.
Brandon emerged from the bedroom, duffel bag in hand. Badge and gun on his hip.
"Finally home huh? What took you so long? Hanging out with your work boyfriend?" Brandon questions, his tone is hard to place but the feeling in her gut makes Y/n feel uneasy.
"I told you he's just a frie-"
Brandon cuts her off, his hand around her throat, slamming the girl back into the wall.
"He's just a friend my ass. Think you can step out on me? Do you forget who I am?" His other hand is on his gun as he stares at her with rage.
"I think you know better than to lie to me" The dark chuckle is followed by a hard punch, right to her left cheek.
Brandon lets her go, stepping back and walking to the front door, picking up his duffel bag and his keys.
"I'll be undercover for a few days--You better have this place spotless when I get back."
--
It took three hours for Y/n to gather her strength, to move from her spot on the floor where Brandon had left her.
She was cried out, her throat was sore, her eye was already swelling up and she could feel blood running down her cheek.
As if she snapped out of her dazed state, Y/n stood up, still shaky. Going to the bedroom she shared with him.
Quickly grabbing the duffel bag out from under the bed she hastily starts throwing clothes into the bag.
Not all of them, just enough to not have to come back for a few days.
She knew she should probably call before just showing up but there was no way she was up for explaining things over the phone.
Glancing back at the apartment one last time she shut the door behind her, making her way downstairs.
---
Y/n stood outside of the familiar apartment. Hesitating.
She could just walk away. She could not tell anyone. That seems easier.
But the feeling in her gut. Her mind flashing back to Brandon's hand on his gun while he choked her.
She couldn't go back.
Hesitantly, she brings up a shaky hand, making a loose fist and knocking on the door.
It takes a second before she hears shuffling. Then the lock unlocking.
The pit in her stomach grows.
"Hey! What are you doing he--Holy shit" Will is stopped dead in his tracks when he sees the swollen eye, the blood on her cheek and the bruises on her neck in the shape of fingers.
"C-can I stay here--just for the night" Y/n stutters out lowly.
"Are you kidding me? You don't even have to ask" Will is quick to take her bag from her, ushering her inside the apartment.
"What happened? Who did this to you? Was it Brandon?" Will questions as he rushes to the kitchen for an ice pack.
"Yeah" It's more of a whisper as Y/n looks down at her shoes.
"Let's get some ice on your eye--Here, sit, sit" Will guides her to the couch, sitting next to her and handing her the ice pack.
"Have you talked to anyone? Did you call the police or-"
"I can't, I can't call the police, Will, he's a detective. I can't..." Y/n trails off, her words are panicked.
Will shakes his head leaning forward "Listen to me. You have to report this--h-how long has this been going on?" he asks frantically.
Y/n hesitates, glancing at Will with her uncovered eye. Debating if she should tell him the truth.
Will is speechless for a moment. His brain racking through everything he's seen the past six months. How withdrawn she's been, the small winces when he startled her. Why didn't he question it?
"Listen, my brother, he's a detective with Intelligence. You can trust Jay, his whole unit. I promise. Please let me call him, just him" Will tries to convince her.
Y/n sighs, nodding slowly "Only him. I'll talk to your brother"
--
It was nearing 10 pm when a knock at the door makes Y/n Jump.
Will squeezes her shoulder, giving her sad smile "It's just Jay, I'm going to let him in okay?"
It might seem silly to ask if it's okay to let someone into your own home.
But Will was going to make sure she was comfortable with it first. He could see the fear in her eyes and her hands still had a slight tremble to them.
Y/n gives a slight nod, she feels like a bundle of nerves as Will stands up and approaches the door.
What if Jay knew Brandon? What if they were friends and he told Brandon?
It's Will's brother. You can trust him. She had to tell herself that as she heard footsteps coming to the living room.
"Y/n, this is Jay" Will says softly, entering the living room with a brunette man who Y/n would definitely say is attractive under any other circumstance.
"Hi" Jay says softly "I'm sorry we're meeting under these circumstances, I've heard a lot about you"
Y/n glances at him and then back to Will, feeling uneasy.
"From me" Will reassures her, he can sense that question rolling around in her head.
Y/n nods.
Jay's a little confused why he would hear about her from anyone else but he left it.
Jay pulls a chair from the dining table, setting it across from Y/n and sitting down while Will takes a seat next to her again.
"So Will didn't say much on the phone. Your boyfriend did this?" Jay asks, his voice soft, taking out his notepad and pen.
Y/n lets out a puff of air "Yeah-yes-um he did"
Jay nods "What is his name?" he asks, writing something down in his notepad.
"Brandon Wiley, he's a detective in narcotics in the 23rd district" Y/n glances at Jay nervously, noticing how he stops writing for a second and then continues.
"Can you walk me through what happened tonight?" Jay's stomach is turning, the thought of a cop doing this to an innocent woman.
It's definitely hitting hard for him.
"I-i came home from work around 6, he was in our bedroom packing a bag to go undercover. I didn't even set my things down, He started asking why I was home late, accusing me of being with my work boyfriend--It's what he calls Will"
Y/n pasues, rubbing her hands together nervously, reaching up to run her fingers over the brusies on her neck lightly.
It feels like she has a thousand eyes on her, like the two men are judging her but she knows Will would never. and Will wouldn't call Jay if he didn't trust him.
"He wrapped a hand around my throat, slammed me into the wall. He was screaming in my face saying not to cheat on him and to remember who he was a-and his hand was on his gun...and then he gave me this" Y/n gestures to her face, glancing between the Halstead brothers.
Will places a comforting hand on her knee. It's not romantic, just a friend comforting a friend. To let her know he's there.
Jay writes in his notepad, he can feel the weight of situation on his shoulders.
Something like this never sat right with him. A police officer who swore an oath to protect but instead he's inflicting the pain on someone innocent.
"Did he leave after that?" Jay asks, his voice is softer than normal, sensing how nervous the young woman is.
Y/n nods, "Yeah, it took me a while to get myself together after that I just kind of sat on the floor in shock. Once I snapped out of it I packed some of my things and came here" she sends a weary smile to Will.
Jay leans forward, closing his notepad and cautiously reaches out a hand, placing it on top of Y/n's shaky one that sits on her knee, catching her attention.
"I'm not sure what Will has told you but I work with intelligence. Just because this guy is a cop does not give him the right to hurt you and it certainly does not mean he will get away with this."
There's sincerity in Jay's voice, something in his eyes and his certainty that puts Y/n more at ease.
"Thank you" Y/n says softly--there's more to it, thank you for believing me. For listening.
She was terrified to go to any law enforcement about the abuse from a decorated detective but Jay made her feel silly for feeling that way. Not in a bad way but in a way that maybe if she had just talked to Will sooner, she could have gotten help sooner.
Jay gives her a sad smile, squeezing her hand.
"If it's okay with you, I need to take some pictures of your injuries and then the next step would be to come in to the district tomorrow morning so you can at least talk to my boss" Jay explains, taking his phone out.
Y/n looks at Will nervously and then back to Jay.
"You'll be there right?" She asks, feeling stupid and like a little kid. She knows Will can't come, he's working early in the morning.
Jay nods, a small smile on his face "I'll be with you the whole time".
--
The next morning Y/n woke up a little disoriented, her face and neck sore. The memories from the night before a blur.
She checked her phone, a few texts from some of her coworkers asking if she was okay after they heard she's taking a few days off.
Glancing at the bedside table, she noticed a bottle of Tylenol, a glass of water and a note.
"Take some Tylenol and drink water! Call me if you need anything, Jay should be picking you up around 9. - Will"
Y/n rolled her eyes at Will's overbearing nature but also smiled to herself. She was happy, not waking up wondering if he would be there.
She notices the time reads 8:45am.
"Shit" she mumbles, quickly getting out of the bed and making her way to the bathroom to get ready.
The first glance in the mirror was a shock, seeing her injuries for the first time since it happened. Her cheek and eye were a dark purple and blue. The fingerprints on her neck matching.
There was no way she could go to work like this. And mentally she thanked Will for calling her boss and letting them know she wouldn't be in the next few days due to a personal emergency.
She quickly and carefully washed her face, brushed her teeth and completed her morning routine-as best as she could-before getting dressed in whatever clothes she had grabbed from the apartment.
Thankfully she had grabbed an oversized hoodie that would cover her neck slightly in the way it sat on her frame. Slipping into a pair of jeans and a random pair of socks she felt a little more normal. The injuries forgotten for the moment.
A knock at the front door startled her for a second before she relaxed, realizing it must be Jay.
She quickly made her way to the front door, peaking through the peephole and then unlocking the door.
"HI, I'm ready I just need to get my phone and keys" Y/n said it quickly, a little too quickly, stepping to the side to let Jay in.
She was used to being rushed and then being screamed at when she wasn't quick enough.
Almost as quick as she said it she ran back to the guest room.
Jay frowned, watching her retreat quickly to grab the last of her things.
This guy really did a number on her.
That thought made his blood boil. From everything Will had told him about Y/n over the years, she was probably the sweetest and kindest person Will had ever met.
You have to be really messed up to hurt someone like that.
"Sorry that took so long" Y/n says as soon as she's back at the entryway, as if practiced.
"Hey" Jay says it softly, ducking down slightly to meet her eyes "You don't have to rush, you don't have to apologize. You're safe and he can't hurt you. Not with me around"
It took her a second to respond, not used to being talked to in such a kind way. But then something clicked in her brain. This is Jay. Will's brother. He's safe.
"I know, i'm sorry--shit--sorry it's out of habit" She finally meets his eyes, feeling secure.
Jay chuckles, shaking his head "Come on, you eat yet?" He asks, guiding her out of the apartment and locking the door behind him with the spare key Will gave him.
"Not yet"
"Breakfast first then, there's a diner down the street that has good food and decent coffee"
--
Y/n had been nervous when Jay suggested the diner, for one she looked horrible. and two, what if one of Brandon's cop buddies saw therm?
But then she realized she was with Jay and he wouldn't let anything happen to her.
So she let herself enjoy it and their time at the diner was full of Jay telling embarrassing stories about Will and laughter.
The ride to the district was easy, light, getting to know each other a little.
As Jay pulled his truck into the parking lot at the district he sensed her nerves.
He noticed her fidgeting with the seam on her hoodie, the way her leg bounced.
"Relax, breathe, you are safe. We're going through the back entrance, no one will see you but my unit. I'll be with you the whole time" Jay reassures her, flashing a smile at her.
Y/n nods, returning the smile, hers smaller but sincere. Her leg stills and she lets out a deep breath, smoothing her sweatshirt.
"Okay, yeah you're right, I'm being silly."
Jay shakes his head, reaching over and squeezing her hand.
"You are not being silly, you have every right to be nervous. You focus on yourself and I'll take care of the rest. Just breathe"
She takes a deep breath in through her nose, letting it out.
Jay takes the opportunity to get out of the driver side, making his way to her door and opening it for her.
"What a gentleman" Y/n says jokingly. But if she's honest, she's not used to a guy opening the door for her. Brandon would never do something that simple over the years they were together.
Jay chuckles as he shuts the door behind her, guiding her to the basement door.
Y/n notices the cage as soon as they enter the basement, glancing at Jay "I don't even want to know what that's for" she jokes, pointing at it.
"Don't worry you'll never be in it, I know someone that will be though" the last part is under his breath but Y/n hears it and she would be lying if she said that doesn't make her feel a little good.
Once upstairs, Y/n can feel all eyes on her as the four detectives at their desks watch them curiously.
None of them knew what was going on. The only one Jay looped in was Voight, explaining the situation late last night after he left his brother's apartment.
Voight was quick to tell Jay to bring her in. He had the same hatred for men like Brandon.
Jay knocks on the door to Voight's office, Y/n tries to relax but it's hard with all eyes on her. Jay senses it, sending her a small smile.
Which works, her heart rate relaxing slowly.
"Come in" a rough voice comes from the other side of the door.
Jay opens the door, letting Y/n in first before stepping in, shutting the door.
"Y/n this is my Sargent Hank Voight" Jay introduces, the older man standing from his desk.
"It's nice to meet you Y/n, Jay's explained the situation already. We're keeping this in house, meaning the only people that will be involved will be Jay, Myself, and the detectives sitting out there" Voight speaks softly, softer than normal trying to make her feel a little less nervous.
Y/n nods, giving Voight a small smile "Thank you, Sargent. I never thought anyone would believe me, I know it's tough with Brandon being a detec-"
The older man cuts her off, shaking his head "It doesn't matter who he is, he has no right to lay a hand on you. We're going to make sure he goes down for this" Hank reassures her, this time placing a hand on her arm softly.
"Would you be comfortable talking to the others to go over everything?" Jay asks softly from her right "No pressure"
Y/n contemplates it for a second before nodding "Yeah, as long as you're there"
That seems to be her answer for everything but as long as Jay is with her she feels safe.
"Okay, we'll talk in the conference room" Jay says, knowing it's a private area.
"You can take her to the conference room, I'll gather the team" Voight offers and Jay nods, opening the office door and guiding Y/n out.
The rest of the team watch them walk down the hall, curiosity eating away at them.
--
Meeting the rest of the intelligence went well, it was mostly Y/n recounting every thing that happened the past six months, which was when it really started to get bad with Brandon. When it got physical.
It started with little comments that were meant to bring her down, lower her self esteem. Then it built up to the physical stuff.
The rest of the unit either looked sorry for her or angry as she recounted everything, Jay by her side as she did so. Trying to give her some comfort.
The team all noticed that. The way she would tense up, Jay would place a hand on hers and she would relax.
You would think they knew each other for years.
The team had made a plan, Brandon was undercover currently and was supposed to be finished in two days. Voight was impatient, once they had things ready they were planning to pick him up. The photos of her injuries were evidence and they even found a girlfriend from the past, before Brandon got with Y/n.
It was in high school, he broke her jaw and cracked three of her ribs. It had been expunged form his record since he was technically a minor.
"That poor girl" Y/n said softly, feeling sadness as she sat in the chair next to Jay's desk, glancing at the girl that Haley and Adam were talking to in the small break room.
Jay only glanced at her, it was amazing how she felt so bad for the other girl, not even caring about her own injuries.
Brandon could have easily killed her that night and from what Jay had heard he almost did. Or at least probably thought about it.
Finishing up their interview, Haley guided the woman back down the stairs, the woman sending Y/n a sympathetic look.
"How are you doing?" Adam asks softly as he approaches Jay's desk and glancing at Y/n.
She shrugs "I don't know, I just feel bad for her going through that" she says quietly.
Adam smiles at her sadly before sitting at his desk.
Jay stands from his desk, picking up his keys and phone "Come on, I'll take you back to Will's. You should be resting" He doesn't say it as a question but not as an order either.
Y/n stands up, looking at Jay "I'm not broken" she says, hands on her hips.
Jay gives her a 'really' look "Will told me you were stubborn. There's nothing to do right now except let us work and arrest him. So, I am taking you home to rest and put some ice on your eye, okay?" He says it nicely, not in a mean way but in a concerned way.
Damn you Will Halstead
"William needs to mind his business" Y/n says under her breath as Jay guides through the hallway and downstairs to the basement.
"Couldn't agree more" Jay jokes, a smirk on his face and Y/n laughs quietly.
Once they get to the truck, Jay opens he passenger side door for her. Waiting for her to climb in the truck before shutting the door and starting the truck.
As Jay pulls out of the parking lot, Y/n has a thought swirling around in her mind.
"Jay" her voice has a different tone. scared. It makes Jay look over at her quickly.
"What if he finds me" it's quiet, whispered as if she says it too loud Brandon will just pop up.
"Then I'll be there. Hand me your phone" Jay's voice is calm, unwavering as he puts his hand out.
Y/n furrows her eyebrows, taking her phone out of her pants pocket and unlocking it, putting it in Jay's hand.
Keeping his eyes on the road, he taps the screen a few times, typing something in and then handing it back to her.
"You speed dial 1 and it will call me. Anything happens you call and I'll be there" It's a promise. A promise to show up. That's more than anyone has ever given her.
--
Y/n is sat on the couch in Will's living room, watching a movie and icing her eye.
Jay made sure she had everything she needed before leaving.
"Lock the door and lock the deadbolt after me" Jay had said and Y/n sent him a fake salute before he left the apartment, an amused look on his face.
It was only one more hour until Will was off shift and then maybe her uneasiness of being here alone with him out there would be gone.
That's when there's a loud knock on the apartment door.
Y/n's eyebrows furrow. Who could that be?
Then there's banging "Y/n, I know you're here"
Her blood ran cold.
No way.
This is not happening.
What a damn coincidence.
He wasn't supposed to be out of his assignment for two days.
Two more loud thumps.
"Come on, honey open the door" Brandon tries to sound nice, but Y/n knows better.
Her breathing is quickened as the door knob jiggles.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Grabbing her phone and moving as quietly as possible she goes the guest room, shutting and locking the door and then going to the bathroom and shutting and locking that door.
She can hear him banging on the door more and yelling.
Okay maybe it's time to call for help.
Unlocking her phone with shaky hands, she opens the call app, pressing the 1.
She can hear the ringing and Jay answers on the second ring.
"He's here" That's all she can get out.
That's all she needs to say before Jay is moving from his desk. Placing his gun in the holster on his hip and grabbing his keys.
"Where are you right now?" he asks, staying calm.
He covers the phone, speaking to the team "We gotta go, he found her"
They're all on their feet in a matter of seconds and making their way downstairs--Kim telling Voight.
"I-in the bathroom" Y/n responds before there's a loud noise heard through the phone "Shit, I think he just broke the door"
Jay's got his truck started in a matter of seconds, Haley in the passenger seat as he speeds out of the parking lot, the phone on speaker now.
"Y/n don't hang up, just stay where you are. I'm on my way, we're coming." Jay tries to reassure her but he can barely stay clam himself as he hears more loud banging and yelling on the other end.
"Come on! I just want to talk! I don't know why you do this to me" Brandon's voice is muffled but Jay hear it and he exchanges worried glances with Haley.
Another loud bang.
"There you are, I know you talked to the cops you bitch"
On the other end, Brandon grabs her by her hair, landing a punch to her left abdomen.
Y/n groans doubling over as he pulls her up.
"They'll never believe you, a detectives words against you? It will never work." He has a sickeningly evil smirk on his face as he throws her to the ground.
Brandon draws his gun, aiming it at Y/n's curled up body on the bathroom floor.
"Chicago PD!" Y/n hears Haley yell and the relief washes over her.
"Put it down, Brandon!" Jay yells, gun pointed at the man.
"I'm on the job guys" He says as if that makes everything okay.
Voight steps up, coming behind him and pressing his gun to the back of Brandon's head.
"Put it down" His voice is gruff and Y/n can see the look in his eye, Brandon finally realizing they are not on his side.
He drops the gun, Hank grabbing him and slamming him against the wall as Haley kicks the gun away.
Jay moves on instinct not even giving it a second thought, grabbing Brandon by the collar and shoving him against the wall again.
"Guess what, I believe her" Jay's voice is darker than usual as he forcefully turns Brandon, shoving his face into the wall as he handcuffs him, making sure the cuffs are extra tight.
Adam takes Brandon from Jay "You realize what's going to happen to you? Sure they hate cops where you're going but you know what they hate more? Guys who beat women" it's not a threat or a suggestion. It's a promise.
Once Brandon's out of his sight, Jay relaxes, finding Y/n sat against the tub, Kim checking on her while Haley goes to direct the paramedics.
Jay kneels down next to her "I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner" he says it as if he's the only one responsible. As if they didn't save her.
"You showed up. That's all I needed" this time Y/n squeezes his hand comfortingly.
The paramedics finally enter the bathroom, taking Y/n's vitals and listening to her breathing. Of course she refuses to go to the hospital. Knowing they wouldn't be able to do much for her cracked ribs anyway.
The team has cleared out mostly, lingering in the rest of the apartment, Kevin and Kim speaking to the neighbors and getting statements.
Will comes running into the apartment, seeing the front door broken like it was kicked in.
He sees the team and he's terrified.
"Guys? Is Y/n-"
Adam stops him "She's okay, Brandon showed up, she's got a couple cracked ribs. Jay's with her and the paramedics are checking her out" he explains, pointing to the guest room.
Will lets out a sigh of relief "Thanks" he says before making his way to the guest room.
He finds Y/n now sat on the bed, Jay sat next to her and the paramedics packing up.
"Will, i am so sorry about the doors I will absolutely pay for them to get fixed" Y/n says immediately seeing her ginger best friend.
Will looks at her with wide eyes, his mouth opens and shuts before he finds his words "You think that's what I'm worried about?!" he questions in disbelief.
"Yes?" She says as a question and Jay does his best to stifle his laughter.
"Y/n I could care less about the doors" the red head sighs, looking at his brother "Thank you for being here"
"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else" Jay says, looking at Y/n with a small smile.
Will knows that look in his brother's eyes but he doesn't say anything.
"I'm getting my kit to check you out."
"Will, the paramedics literally cleared me"
"And I literally don't care, stop being stubborn" Will says sassily, leaving the room.
Y/n groans, but instantly regrets it, her hand going to her side as she coughs.
"Alright, easy there, sassy" Jay says, an amused tone in his voice as he places a hand on her back comfortingly.
Will returns to the room with his med kit, glancing between his brother and friend knowingly.
A/N: @outlawdaydream gave me this idea a long time ago and I finally got it written! Also special thanks to my bestie and beta queen @seatsbythepit And yes, hi, it's me!!!
HALSTEAD!SISTER MASTERLIST
“Sarah, you called me over to study, remember?” You tilted your head toward her, raising your eyebrows.
Sarah glanced up at you from where she was undoubtedly doomscrolling and grinned. “You’re studying.”
You smiled and shook your head.
“Besides, your brothers probably only agreed because I said we’re studying,” Sarah said. You could hear the playful note in your friend’s voice, and you shook your head again.
“As you pointed out, I am studying.” You retorted, turning your eyes back to the book in front of you.
Sarah laughed. “Honestly, you’re in college. I don’t get why your brothers are so protective. I’m glad I don’t have older brothers.”
You didn’t say anything and just smiled to yourself.
It wasn’t the first time someone had said something like this to you. Sometimes, they were serious, and other times, they were half joking, like Sarah was right now.
It didn’t really matter though, because no one would be able to convince you that having two older brothers wasn’t the greatest thing in the world.
Sure, they were protective, and sometimes overprotective, in the case of your oldest brother, but you knew that no matter what happened, even if the whole world turned upside down, the two of them would always have your back.
Sarah’s room fell back into silence once more as she continued scrolling on her phone while you scribbled down notes on the papers you were poring over.
You’d just flipped a page when the faint sound of voices seemed to drift into Sarah’s rooms.
The both of you looked up at the same time, exchanging a look.
“Those aren’t happy voices,” You commented, sitting up.
Sarah frowned, like she was concentrating. The voices were clearer now, almost as if they were moving further into the house.
“It’s my sister,” Sarah said, sitting up slightly.
The voices continued carrying into the room.
“I think that’s her ex. This is not good.” Sarah said, moving toward the door.
You didn’t need Sarah to explain any further. You hadn’t seen this guy’s face yet, but this whole situation gave you a bad hit. It felt like there was a huge knot in your stomach, as if you knew something would pop off at any minute.
You had barely finished that thought when there was a loud crash, like something had been thrown across the room. You frowned as both you and Sarah quietly climbed up and peered out the door.
You shook your head. “I don’t like this.”
Sarah made a face at you. “What are we supposed to do?”
Sarah’s parents were out of town for the weekend, which was why Sarah had invited you over in the first place.
'It's not like we can call the police, right? If they're just arguing."
You were already dialing.
He picked up on the first ring. “Hey, you need me to come get you?"
"Jay.”
He picked up on your voice immediately.
"Y/N? What's wrong?"
You could already hear him getting up.
"Jay, some guy is here arguing with Sarah's sister. Sarah says her sister used to date this guy. It kinda feels like things are going to pop off at any moment.”
You could hear Jay's movements seem to quicken, and you could almost picture the way he was moving through the district.
"Does he have a weapon?" Jay asked, his voice obviously strained.
You shook your head even though Jay couldn't see you. "I don't know. They're downstairs, we can't see them from here.” You paused, peering out slightly. "But I don't have a good feeling about this. Can you come?"
"I'm on my way. Stay put. And Y/N?”
"Yeah?"
Jay took a deep breath.
"No matter what you hear, don't come out of the room. Both of you. Not until it's me. You hear me?"
"Yeah, okay," You agreed, knowing that when it came to this, there was no way your brother was taking no for an answer anyway.
You hung up the phone and gave Sarah an encouraging smile. "Don't worry. My brother’s on his way."
Sarah frowned like she was waiting for more context, but you didn't say anything more.
You weren't in the habit of oversharing about your brothers. It wasn't a huge secret or anything, but you didn't volunteer information. After all, usually once word got around that you had a brother who was a detective and a brother who was a doctor, it only led to more questions or people asking for favours.
You kept your books away, then glanced at Sarah.
Sarah sighed before she started telling you about Samantha's ex - how he'd been sweet, until he wasn't. It was all the classic signs of controlling behaviour bordering on emotional manipulation that your brothers had drilled into you early on.
You were about to say something when you paused. "You smell that?'
Sarah looked up, frowning, before she wrinkled her nose.
The both of you headed toward the door, but you had already noticed the bright orange light filtering in, even before you heard Sarah's sharp inhale of breath.
“Call 911.” You told her.
As Sarah fumbled with her phone, you peered out of the room, against your better judgment.
Smoke was thickening in the halls, and the fire had already danced its way up the staircase railings.
Even with the door now closed, it felt like the smoke was still somehow finding its way into your lungs. You headed straight for your bag, emptying out its contents almost in a frenzy, looking for your inhaler. You hadn't had an asthma attack in months, you'd been managing very well, but smoke from a fire was definitely not your friend. You could almost feel your lungs closing up.
“Sarah… low…" You choked out, pulling Sarah to the ground with you.
“Where’s your inhaler?” Sarah asked, but there wasn’t enough air in your lungs for you to answer her.
You could only barely make out the sirens that seemed to be making their way through the fog of smoke.
And then, like a light at the end of the tunnel, a familiar voice.
“Fire Department, call out!”
You barely had enough energy to nudge Sarah, who raised her voice to call for their attention.
The door burst open before you saw the familiar green eyes of the one other person you trusted as much as your brothers and heard the surprise in his voice, “Y/N?”
“Kelly… I can’t…”
Kelly just nodded. “I got you, kiddo. Hang on.”
As Kelly lifted you into his arms, you saw another firefighter reach out for Sarah before Kelly moved off, and within a minute, the fresh air hit you.
Kelly gently laid you down onto the stretcher that seemed to be ready and waiting. “Brett, she has asthma.”
Sylvie nodded, and before you knew it, oxygen was once again flowing into your lungs as an oxygen mask was fitted gently on you.
“All clear, Chief!” You heard Kelly’s radio crackle as he pulled off his mask and looked at you.
“You alright?” Kelly turned toward you now.
You nodded, unable to speak just yet, but Kelly smiled and squeezed your hand before he looked up and nodded.
The next moment, Jay was right next to you. “Hey, hey! You okay? Are you hurt?”
You blinked back up into Jay’s eyes and nodded, feeling stupid tears pool in your eyes for no apparent reason.
Jay smiled as you growled at yourself, as if trying to scare your own tears back.
“Thanks, Kelly,” Jay said.
Kelly nodded, patting Jay on the arm before he reached out to pat your head gently. “When I said I hadn’t seen you in a while, I meant drop by the firehouse. Not get stuck in a fire.”
You made a face at him, and Kelly chuckled.
“I’ll drop by to see you later, alright?”
You nodded and with a final ruffle of your hair, Kelly jogged back toward the rest of his team.
Jay glanced up and nodded at Sylvie. “Alright, we’re going to Med.”
You gave him a look, and Jay returned it. “We are not taking any chances.”
As expected, it was a big fuss when you were wheeled into Med.
Naturally, Will was told to stay outside while Connor worked on you, and then for the rest of the next day, Will couldn’t, or wouldn’t, leave you alone.
“I’m fine.” You stressed.
Will narrowed his eyes at you. “Do you know how dangerous smoke inhalation is for someone like you who has asthma?”
You grunted without saying anything because you knew he was right.
“Will, have you seen my friend? Sarah? And her sister? Are they okay?” You changed the topic since you knew you weren’t going anywhere today.
Before you could finish your sentence, the door opened and Sarah almost dashed into the room. You spotted Jay following up behind her before Sarah practically leaped into your arms.
“You’re crushing me, girl!” You sputtered as both your brothers wandered off to a corner of the room, talking to each other under their breath.
You were about to call out to them to ask them to spit it out when Sarah suddenly leaned in closer again and hissed, “You didn’t tell your brothers were so…”
“What?” You asked, frowning.
“Hot.”
You scrunched up your face. “Ew, Sarah.”
“A policeman and a doctor?” Sarah said, stealing a glance at them.
“Excuse me. Detective.” You said, unable to keep the tone of pride out of your voice.
Sarah rolled her eyes. “Shut up. You suck.”
You laughed, then felt a spike of annoyance that your brothers were still whispering in the corner.
“Did you catch him?”
Jay looked up as you raised your voice.
He glanced at Sarah and then shook his head. “Patrol’s doing a sweep of the entire neighborhood. Mouse is all up in his electronic business. We’ll get him.”
Jay paused again, then moved closer. “What more can you tell me?”
“You first.” You glared at him. “You promised.”
It was a promise from a long time ago, but you never forgot it. In fact, your brothers hadn’t either. It was like yesterday, your two older brothers towering above you, your small pinky wrapped around theirs, sealing the pact between the three of you - no secrets. Even back then, you’d impressed on them that the worst betrayal was both of them keeping a secret from their only sister.
Jay glanced at Will, who nodded.
“Kelly called. Looks like this guy brought kerosene to the house. We can’t determine exactly how the fire was set yet, but it’s enough for me to haul his ass in.” Jay said, unable to keep his tone calm. Even Sarah could tell he was pissed, and she looked at you nervously.
“Listen. Samantha… She… she didn’t know we were home. I didn’t tell her. And she has nothing to do with…”
Jay smiled kindly at her. “Don’t worry. She’s talking to someone from my team now. He was an uninvited guest who threatened her. She’s not in trouble. Only he is.”
Will nodded. “I checked your sister out myself. She wasn’t in the house long. She got out before you guys did, so she didn’t have much smoke inhalation. She’s fine.”
You shot Sarah a smile just as there was a knock on the door, and Samantha peeped in.
“Hey.” You could hear the familiar tone of slight guilt from Samantha.
You turned to your brothers. “Now, the two of you. Go get some coffee or something and stop hovering around me. I’m fine.”
Will didn’t look convinced, but Jay caught the look on your face.
“Alright, let’s get out of her hair for a second,” Jay said, pushing Will out the door even as Will called back to you to let you know to call a nurse if you needed anything.
You’d only met Sarah’s sister once, but Sarah talked about her at school so much you felt like you knew her well.
“I’m sorry I got you into this mess,” Samantha said quietly.
“Samantha, it’s not your fault.” You reassured her. “My brother said you talked to the police. Don’t worry, they’ll figure it out. Everything’s going to be fine.”
You were saved from more talking when the door slid open again.
“Hey, feeling better?”
You couldn’t help the grin that slid onto your face as you saw Kelly walk in.
You introduced Kelly to the sisters briefly, ignoring Sarah’s wiggling eyebrows with a roll of your eyes.
“Where are your brothers?” Kelly asked.
“Hey! Are you here to see me, or them?” You asked with a tone of mock hurt.
Kelly chuckled. “You, and since I’m here, I need to talk to Jay.”
You smiled. “I kicked them out for being annoying.”
Kelly was just about to say something else when the door slammed open again.
You heard the catch in Samantha’s breath as she pulled Sarah behind her.
The man standing in the doorway was unfamiliar to you, but you didn’t need to hear his voice to know who he was. You reached for Kelly and gently squeezed, hoping he understood what you were trying to tell him.
Kelly glanced at you and nodded reassuringly, angling his body in a protective stance.
“Who is this?” The man spoke, his voice only confirming your suspicions.
Samantha’s ex-boyfriend.
The new arrival looked from Kelly to Samantha before he raised his voice again. “Is it him? Is he the reason you refuse to work things out with me?” Then he twitched, and you saw it at the same time as Kelly - a gun.
“Hey, I’m gonna need you to calm down,” Kelly spoke now, taking half a step forward, before motioning toward you. “I’m her…”
“Brother.” You finished his sentence for Kelly, turning to look at the guy standing in the doorway in your room, your eyes flicking toward his gun. “My brother’s just worried, alright?”
The guy’s eyes flicked back toward Samantha.
“Damien, stop this,” Samantha said now, making the effort to steel her voice.
Damien raised his gun now, and you could see Kelly’s shoulders stiffen. At the same time, the machine next to you started beeping, and you felt your chest tighten.
Kelly swivelled his head to glance at you. “Y/N?”
Kelly turned back to Damien. “That’s the sign of an asthma attack, alright? This room is going to be flooded with nurses and doctors soon. Turn around and leave.”
Damien looked like he was weighing his options, his head swinging back and forth.
You caught just a glimpse of Jay over Damien’s shoulder, and in the second that Damien lowered his gun in hesitation, Kelly shot Jay a look. Jay moved forward, pressing his gun to the back of Damien’s head.
"You so much as twitch that finger, I'll blow your brains out,” Jay said, his voice dangerously quiet. “Put it down. Now."
Kelly moved forward to kick the gun away from Damien as Will hurried in toward you.
"Okay, breathe." Will's voice was soft, yet firm and very reassuring as he fiddled with the oxygen.
Between the smoke inhalation and having a gunman in your hospital room, it was no wonder your asthma had started up again.
You felt more oxygen fill your lungs again, and your breathing steadied.
"Better?"
You nodded.
Will studied you for a while more before he said, “We'll do one more round of medication, and if that stabilizes, we'll probably be able to wean you off.”
He paused, then added, "So, patience."
You raised an eyebrow. "I'm a Halstead too, you know. Patience doesn't run in our blood."
That earned you chuckles across the room.
Jay had returned from handing Damien off, just in time to catch your last statement.
You shot him a smile, just to put him a little more at ease.
You almost forgot Samantha and Sarah were still there, until Sarah spoke again.
"I thought you only had two brothers?"
Jay couldn't help himself, "Yeah, when did I have a second brother?'
You glanced at Kelly, who winked.
“Didn't you know? Kelly's an honorary Halstead. I can trust him with my life. "
Jay smiled, and Kelly winked at you.
"Don't you ever doubt it, Y/N.”
As you smiled at the three of them, Sarah leaned in and whispered," I take back what I said about older brothers."
You glanced at her in surprise, and she giggled. "A doctor, detective, and a firefighter? God, you're living the dream."
You rolled your eyes, but you didn't refute it.
After all, Sarah was right.
You wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.
THANK YOU FOR READING!! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF THIS!!
Oh horror, oh horror, What did you see? - J. Halstead x F!reader
whumptober masterlist || Chicago PD masterlist ||
prompt: disassociation
Synopsis: You are only of Gregory Yates' only surviving victims, and members of the Intelligence Unit want you to testify against him. How can you relive the worst moments of your life with your significant other sitting across the room from you.
warnings: serial killer, serial rapist, mentions of murder, abduction, torture, mentions of rape, some what detailed scene of assault, inaccurate courtroom proceedings, nightmares, mentions of an orgasm during assault, disassociation.
word count: 5.9k
“No,” You shook your head, “I won’t do it.”
Jay sighed, knowing this was exactly how this conversation was going to go. He didn’t even want to ask you to come in so Erin could ask you this question. He wanted you so far away from the Intelligence Unit as he could get you after all you had gone through in the last year.
“Why not?” Erin begged, “You are a key witness.”
“A witness?” Your eyebrows rose, and Jay knew that tone all too well, “Oh? Is that what I am? A witness?”
“You’re also a vic-”
“She said no, Erin,” Jay spoke up, trying to deescalate the fight before it could even start.
It was the second time in 48 hours that someone had asked you to testify in the grand court case against Gregory Yates, a serial rapist and killer. The man who haunted your dreams both during the day and at night. It had been only three months since you had been kidnapped outside of your apartment, and only three months since you escaped the horrors of Gregory Yates. It had also only been three months since Nadia died. The guilt that you had been working hard in therapy to suppress, came rising up in your stomach. Your hand went to your throat, as you felt your breathing pick up.
“Y/N,” Erin stepped closer to you, and you stepped back. “You escaped him. You lived. You have a story to tell, and you need to tell it. To put him away.” She took another step again, and you jumped, putting your hand up to stop her.
Jay stood up from his place, putting his body in between you and Erin. Ever since he found you, in only a t-shirt, standing on some abandoned stretch of road near Yates’ burial ground, Jay had hardly let you out of his sight. “Okay, that’s enough.” You didn’t say a word, as you left the break room, and headed to the first floor of the police station to wait for Jay. He let out a sigh, “She was making so much progress.”
“She needs to testify, Jay,” Erin said, shaking her head, “You and I both know that she’s one of the only ways we can make sure Yates doesn’t-”
“Have you even heard what he did?” Jay said, cutting Erin off.
Erin scoffed, slightly offended Jay would even ask her that. Of course Erin knew what Yates did. She had worked this case since day one, knew everything he was capable of, and worked through losing her best friend. She had memorized every fucked up detail of Yates did to his victims.
“Of course I know what he did.”
“No,” Jay shook his head, “Have you heard what he did? From someone who experienced it?” Erin swallowed and shook her head. She had only read what was on paper, “You know she doesn’t sleep at night. Not without a bunch of drugs anyway. When we first got home, she’d sit in the dark spare bedroom, on the floor, and would scream anytime you came in or tried to turn the lights on. She still won’t sleep in the same bed as me, or even use the same shower that I use. She won’t let me kiss her, or touch her, or even hold her hand when she’s having nightmares.”
Jay let out a huff, “You can’t force her to testify, Erin.”
Erin swallowed thickly, “But she’ll get justice for Nadia.”
“Yeah?” Jay nodded, “But she’ll have to relive her worst nightmare again.”
Jay didn’t say another word, as he left the break room and headed down stairs to where you disappeared. Penny let him know that you had gone outside, waiting by his truck. The winter air nipped at your cheeks as you leaned against his truck, smoking a cigarette (something that you had recently picked up since coming home).
“You okay?” Jay asked, stopping in front of you. You nodded your head, taking a long drag. “I’m sorry for Erin asking you that. She’s just processing all this the best she can. She knows the more credible witnesses the better.” You nodded again, throwing your cigarette on the ground and snuffing it out.
You looked up at Jay and sighed, “What does everyone think of me?”
“What do you mean?”
“When people look at me, what do they think of me?”
“They think you’re a survivor,” Jay said honestly. Ever since he came back after taking time off to help you adjust to being home, it was all anyone could say about you. How strong you are, how brave you are, how smart you are that you figured out how to get away.
“I don’t want to be known as a ‘survivor’,” You sighed, turning to climb into the truck, “I want to be known as me.”
— — —
Three Months ago. . .
“You ever been to Chicago med?” You heard Lindsay ask over the loud speaker. You stood on the other side of the one way glass, watching as Lindsay and Detective Nick Amaro, from New York, interrogated a suspect in a string of murder cases.
“What do you think?” Voight asked you. He knew that you were one of the best on his team. He knew that whatever you were feeling about Gregory Yates, had to be a hunch he had to investigate. Jay stood in the corner, you could feel his presence, strong and steady behind you.
“I don’t know,” You said, shaking your head. The possible witness couldn’t pinpoint him as the person she saw asking for help with moving boxes. There was something about Yates that made your skin crawl and all your senses be on high alert. There was something in the way he watched Erin, like he was entranced with her, and you knew that Erin knew that too.
“Am I under arrest?” Yates asked, breaking eye contact and looking at Amaro. You huffed, “I do have a general sense of my rights as a U.S. citizen.”
“He’s going to fucking walk,” You cursed, pushing away from the window, and going out to the open floor. Jay was quick on your heels, “He’s got something, I can just feel it.”
“We can’t arrest him on a hunch,” Jay said and you shot him a glare. What had started as a small local case had grown to something huge, and it was keeping you awake at night. Olivia Benson had arrived earlier in the week trying to connect some of her old cases to a string of ones that were happening in Chicago.
You leaned against your chair looking at Jay, “There’s something off about him. . .” Your voice trailed off as Lindsay walked down the hallway, leading Yates out of the interrogation room. You quickly averted your eyes, as if looking at him might turn you to stone like some mythical creature.
“Hello,” Yates said to you, causing you to look up at him. He gave you a small smile, and you sucked in a breath.
As soon as Lindsay left with Yates, Voight was quick to gather his team, “Get a state’s attorney on board ASAP. Give him the particulars, probable cause, and let him know we believe this guy is good for it.”
You sat down at your desk, quickly diving into a list of emails for state’s attorneys that you had worked with before. Jay brushed his hand along the back of your chair, before going into Voight’s office. Ever since Will had been questioned, Jay was trying to clear his brother’s name. You didn’t think Will was capable of something like this, but you also couldn’t deny the evidence that was laid out in front of you.
“Y/N,” Nadia called your name, “You have a call.”
“What?” You asked, walking over to her desk.
“It’s Greg Yates,” She said.
“Get Voight,” You picked up the phone, “Hello.”
“I can’t help but think, we got off on the wrong foot,” Gregory Yates’ voice came over the speaker. Jay was the first one over to you, mouthing to put it on speaker, but you brushed his hand away. Voight was next, standing close to you as the rest of the Intelligence Unit moved in.
“How do you mean?” You asked.
“Oh, I just mean I feel like I made a bad impression on your coworkers back there. . . You wouldn’t even look at me.” He was silent for a moment, “I would love to try and win you guys back. Are you free for a short conversation?”
“Sure. . . why don’t you come by the station?”
“No, just you and me. The pavilion at Millennium Park. Three hours. Thank you for your time in advance." The line went dead, and you put the phone down, and looked at the group around you.
“I’m meeting him.” You said.
“No, you are not,” Jay said.
“Voight,” You looked at your leader.
“No,” Jay said, also looking at Voight.
You glared at Jay. He had never blocked you like this. It wasn’t ideal, the two of you working in the same unit together. Voight was not a fan when the two of you admitted your relationship. Though, he had his speculation, having caught you guys in the alley behind Malones, Jay’s hand up your shirt and your hands down his pants. Hank made the two of you agree, you wouldn’t do anything to compromise each other’s careers, and getting in the way of breaking a case was one of them.
“She’s going,” Voight said, and Jay huffed, crossing his arms over his chest, “He called for her by name. She’s our connection to this. You’re going.”
— — —
“All right, so Voight will be able to communicate with you through this,” Mouse handed you a small ear piece that was hidden under your hat, “Now, I’d use your phone in your other ear, assuming you like to hear over 4,000 hertz.”
“Thanks, Mouse,” You smiled. Jay stood off to the side with Al, checking his rifle and making sure his zero was still accurate. If he couldn’t be down on the ground with you, he was going to be watching your every move, ready to fire if you were put in harm’s way.
“Al, you guys find a good look out, yet?” Voight asked, coming into the garage.
“We’ll be on the pedestrian bridges a few hundred yards away,” Al confirmed.
“Fin, Amaro, you’re on the ground with Ruzek and Antonio,” Voight gave the assignments, “Stay sharp.” Everyone nodded, and moved towards their assigned vehicles. You sucked in a breath, as your phone rang, and you raised your eyebrows in confusion.
“Sergeant Benson?” You asked.
“Detective L/N,” She answered, “Fin told me you’re going to meet with Yates’ alone.”
“Yeah,” You said, finding Jay waiting for you. “I figured he’s either looking to confess, he’s playing us, or he’s looking to do something stupid. And even if it’s the last one, he’s been at this for ten years. It’s worth it, we can bring him down.”
“Look, just remember, if he’s reaching out to you, he’s feeling the pressure. He could be capable of anything.”
“I’ll be ready, Sergeant.” You said confidently, looking at Jay. His blue eyes bore into yours, a silent plea for you to change your mind.
“Be safe,” Olivia said before hanging up.
Jay walked towards you, your coat in his hands. You turned, holding your arms behind you as he slipped it up your arms, “Just stay where I can see you.”
“I will,” You said. He placed a hand on your cheek, before placing a soft kiss on your lips, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Jay gave you a small smile, “Let’s go. We have a perv to catch.”
— — —
Your conversation with Yates was null and void. During the middle of the conversation, Voight got a call from Chief Boden about another crime scene. You wanted to scream when you found out. You had spent 15 minutes walking with that creep, just for another innocent woman to be raped and burned in her own home. He then led you on a wild goose chase, to an apartment on the other side of town, which turned out to be a bum lead.
“It’s not your fault,” Jay said, leaning against your desk.
You shook your head, “I thought it was him. I thought I had him. . . Now,” You looked at the pictures of the three women in front of you, “I let them down.”
“You didn’t let them down,” Jay said. You sighed and looked up at him, “Go home. I’ll be there as soon as I finish my reports. Go home, start a bath, open that bottle of wine that we’ve been meaning to get into. And I’ll come join you.”
You smiled at him, “Are you sure? We’ve been waiting to drink that.”
“Of course,” Jay said, putting a hand on your cheek and kissing the top of your head, “Go home, baby.”
You leaned into his touch, savoring the warmth and safety of him, “Okay.” You said pulling back.
He dug out the keys to his truck, “I’ll make Antonio drive me.”
“See you at home,” You smiled, grabbing the keys from him and your stuff. Jay watched as you walked out of the Intelligence Unit, a stupid smile on his face. Voight walked up beside him, putting his hands in his pockets.
“Does she know about the ring yet?” Voight asked, looking at him.
“No,” Jay shook his head, “I put it in the pantry behind the cans of mixed veggies. She doesn’t ever look there.” Voight chuckled, patting Jay on the back and walking back to his office.
You could hardly keep your eyes open as you pulled into the driveway of your small shared home with Jay. It was the perfect starter, a home that needed minimal work, but had enough room to start a small family. It was close enough to Wrigley Field that Jay and Will could walk home after one too many drinks at the Cubs game. You killed the engine to the truck, grabbing your purse and keys. The moment you stepped out into the crisp night air, you felt something was wrong.
You didn’t waste any time, as you shut the truck and locked it, getting to your front door. You paused, as you held the key to your front door in your hand. You could feel the hair on the back of your neck stand up, as you lowered your arm, putting your keys into your pocket, and reaching for your gun instead. Your hand had barely touched the handle of your pistol, when you felt someone’s arm wrap around your waist and a hand cover your mouth.
“Shh. . .” A voice said from behind you, and you felt the end of a gun pressed against your side. You fought against his grip, trying to wiggle your way free, “Ah, ah, ah,” It was a male, from the sound of his voice and the feel of his body against yours, “You don’t want to do that.” You didn’t even need to turn to see who was behind you.
Gregory Yates. And a scream left your lips.
— — —
Jay sat up with a start, hearing your screams from the other room. He quickly ran down the hall, pushing open the door and running to your bedside. He barely touched you, and you sat up, gasping for air.
“It’s okay,” You jumped, looking like a frightened animal, and Jay held his hands up, “It’s me, Y/N.” You sucked in a breath, and started sobbing. Jay quickly wrapped you in his arms, holding you tightly to his chest. There was nothing in these moments that he could say or do to make you feel better. All he could do was hold you, and wait for you to realize he was touching you. It was a strange and fucked up way to get you to calm down and wake up from whatever nightmare induced coma you were in. But Jay didn’t know any other way to get you to come too. You still had touch aversion, something Jay knew all too well with assault victims, and he wasn’t about to break your boundaries for his own agenda.
“It’s okay,” Jay said, his voice never wavering as he held you. It broke his heart every time you had nightmares like this. Hell, he had even seen you have them during the day. You would be sitting at your desk in the middle of the day, disassociating from whatever was going on around you, lost, and back in that dungeon you were held in. Jay would occasionally come up to your desk, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder, getting you to come back to him.
“I have to testify,” You pushed Jay's arms off of you, and he tried to pretend that it didn’t cause a pang to his heart.
“You don’t have to,” Jay said, watching as you started pacing the bedroom floor, “Don’t listen to-”
You shook your head, “These nightmares aren’t going to stop until I know he is locked away. I can’t heal knowing he can just. . . get away with this.”
Jay nodded his head, “Okay. I can call-”
“No,” You stopped in your tracks and looked at him, “I need to tell Lindsay myself.”
That very next morning, you walked into the district, your head held high, Jay right behind you. You walked up to Lindsay’s desk, stopping in front of her.
“Y/N-”
“I’m going to testify.”
Her face lit up, “Oh! Great! I’ll call-”
“I’m not doing it for you to avenge Nadia’s death,” You cut her off, and the light slowly disappeared from Lindsay’s eyes, “I’m doing this for myself. And so Yates doesn’t get off again and can do this to anyone else.” Lindsay nodded. You look over at Jay, who had a small smile on his face, “Drop the smile.”
Jay nodded, “Yes ma’am.”
— — —
New York was as spectacular and daunting as you thought it would be. Once Voight made the call to Olivia about you coming to testify, you and Jay flew across the country to the Big Apple. You went a couple of days before the trial started, Jay wanted to make sure you were in the right headspace. The two of you spent the first couple of days doing all the touristy stuff, exploring the city, eating at expensive restaurants, shopping. Jay booked you two different hotel rooms, knowing that you still wanted your space.
On the fifth day, you met with ADA Rafael Barba, the lawyer who was spearheading the case. He was a good looking guy, charming and cocky at the same time, but he was confident in the case. He was confident that he could win this.
“This won’t be easy,” Rafael said, his brown eyes full of compassion as you sat at the table across from you and Jay. The past couple of days had been full of prepping for the trial, trying to jog your memory to fill in some of the missing parts in the story. Jay wouldn’t leave your side, sitting close to you, but not close enough for his liking. He wanted to hold you, as you tearfully recalled all the horrors that you and Nadia had gone through.
“Do you remember what happened after you got kidnapped?” Barba asked.
You nodded your head, “Yates. . . He led me to his car, he said he didn’t want to knock me out and he wouldn’t if I would be good.”
— — —
Jay rubbed his eyes, a headache starting to form from looking at his computer screen for so long. He was waiting for Voight and Lindsay to get back from surveying the latest crime scene. It seemed as though every time the team got close to finding something, they were left back at square one.
“Son of a bitch is toying with us,” Voight’s voice carried up the stars as him and Erin walked in.
“Well he knew we would track his phone. He left in the basement next to a lighter and nail polish,” Erin said, “Hey,” She nodded at Jay, “FIn, Ruzek, and Amaro are still tearing the house apart.”
Jay nodded, “We had eyes on him less than an hour ago. He couldn’t have gone far. We have alerts on his car, his I-pass, his credit cards.”
“Look,” Voight said, “Everybody is on this. Have Nadia set up a civilian hotline. Where’s Y/N?”
“I sent her home to unwind,” Jay sat down at his desk, “I’ll call her back.”
“Where’s Nadia?” Voight asked, looking around.
“She had to run an errand,” Jay pointed to the sticky note on her desk.
“An errand?” Erin asked, a scoff of disbelief leaving her lips.
Jay sighed, “She went to pick up your birthday cake. It was supposed to be a surprise."
Erin looked up at her partner in shock, before grabbing the desk phone and dialing her number. It was silent for a moment as she waited for the call to connect. Her eyebrows furrowed as she looked down at the number she dialed, “Straight to voicemail.”
Jay felt his heart stutter for a moment, as he reached for his cell phone, quickly dialing your phone number. He cursed, as the all too familiar dial tone came across the receiver. He set his phone down, and put it on speaker.
“Hey, this is Y/N, sorry I can’t come to the phone, leave a message!”
Hanked pushed the filing cabinet, his jaw clenched tightly. He knew what this meant, he knew exactly what happened. Jay felt like he was going to be sick as he looked at Erin.
“He has them.” Voight answered the question that all of them had. “He took Y/N and Nadia.”
— — —
“Mr. Barba,” The judge said, “Please call your next witness.”
Rafael stood up, fixing his tie, “The defense calls Y/N L/N, a detective with the Chicago Intelligence Unit to the stand.”
Today was the day you had been dreading, your turn on the witness stand. It had been three days of testimony in court. You heard from Olivia, who had been working this case for over a decade, Voight, who had been pulled into this when Yates had decided to make Chicago his new hunting ground, and Jay, who had worked the case tirelessly once you had been abducted right off the front step of your house.
Jay’s testimony broke you in ways you didn’t expect it to. He never really talked about those days after your abduction. Jay was ready to tear the whole city apart, go off the books if he had to in order to get to you before it was too late. And if it was too late. . . God only knows what he would’ve done to Yates. It took all of his willpower even now, sitting in the same room as Yates to not jump him and beat him bloody.
“Y/N,” Jay whispered to you. You jumped and looked up to see Barba standing at the entry way. You nodded, and stood up, fixing the jack of your pant suit. Lindsay had bought you a dress to wear today, but you didn’t want to expose any of your skin to Yates. It was bad enough he had to see your face.
“You got this,” Barba whispered to you, as you walked up to the stand.
The bailiff met you at the bottom of the stand, “Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?” You nodded your head, “I need your verbal promise.”
“Y-yes,” You said, your voice coming out small. The bailiff nodded to the stand, and you took a seat. All the eyes in the court room were on you in an instant, making you feel like a bug under a microscope. You could feel the onset of a panic attack, your breaths feeling constricted in your throat, your eyes starting to burn with tears. Your hand reached up, to tug on your collar to try and loosen it.
“Y/N,” Barba said your name softly, and you looked up at him with large wild eyes. Jay clenched his jaw, balling his hands into fists. He wanted to go up there, wanted to pull you off the stand. You looked like a deer in the headlights, your eyes searching around the room frantically, and your breathing erratic, “Can you focus on me?”
You nodded your head.
“Let’s start with a simple question, what is your name?”
You took a deep breath, trying to slow down your heart. “Y/N L/N.”
“Very good, and what is it that you do, Miss L/N?”
“I’m a-” You shook your head, “I was a detective with the intelligence unit with Chicago PD.”
“And who is your superior officer?”
“Sergeant Hank Voight.” You found Hank in the crowd behind Barba’s head. He gave you a nod, and Jay sent you a small smile. You nodded your head, rolling your shoulders back a bit, as some false sense of confidence filled your body.
“And what do you remember on the night you were kidnapped?”
“I remember I was working late at the station. I was finishing up some paperwork with Nadia, helping her catch up. I left around midnight.”
“Where did you go when you left?”
“My house.”
“Which you share with Detective Jay Halstead, correct?”
“Yes.” You looked back at Jay. His blue eyes were swimming with pride as he watched you take the stand. This was the most you talked about that night, other than when you were first questioned and in therapy sessions.
“And you two are in a relationship, correct?”
You nodded, “Engaged.”
“Well congratulations,” Barba gave you a genuine smile, but it slowly faded as he phrased his next question, “What happened when you got home, Miss L/N?”
This was always the part that you hated talking about.
“I was walking up the stairs to my house, when someone grabbed me, put their hand over my mouth, told me not to scream or I would regret it, and I felt something like the barrel of a gun pressed into my side. And then he walked me to his car. . . the next thing I remember is waking up in a bedroom, my hands tied to a pole above my head.”
“And who else was in the bedroom?”
You were silent, gathering your thoughts, “Nadia Decotis.”
— — —
Your head was pounding. Kind of like a bad hangover, your stomach was churning with painful cramps, and your body felt cold. Everything felt like you were moving in slow motion, as you slowly blinked your eyes open. It took you a moment, as you frantically looked around to realize the nightmare you were having was reality. You really had been abducted. Gregory Yates had abducted you.
“Oh my god,” You cried, trying to sit up, but your arms were bound above your head, “What the. . .” You looked down to notice you were only in your underwear, your jeans and sweater gone. Tears sprang to your eyes, fear wrapping around your throat in a vice grip. You knew all too well what was going to happen.
“Y/N,” a small voice said. You gasped, and looked over to the corner of the room.
“Nadia,” You cried. She looked rough, bruised and dried blood covering her face. Her brown eyes were bloodshot, probably from hours of crying. You had no idea how she ended up here, but you assumed it had something to do with the man who brought you here too. Like you, her arms were bound behind her back, and she was chained to a spot on the ground, in only her undergarments.
“We’re going to get out of here,” Nadia said, her voice full of determination, “Lindsay and Jay are going to find us and kill that bastard and-”
“Oh look, she’s awake,” Yates said, walking into the room. Nadia sat back silently, her jaw clenching tightly. “Nice of you to join the party, Detective.”
“You’re going to burn in hell,” You cursed as he walked towards you. Yates placed his hand on your face, and you pulled your face away, but he grabbed it, pulling it back towards him.
“You are a very pretty girl,” Yates said, looking down at your naked body. You trashed again, “No wonder Detective Halstead has such a fun time with you.”
“You don’t know anything,” You sneered.
“I know that you like it rough,” His hand tangled in your hair and he pulled harshly, “You have a thing for handcuffs. Tell me. . .does he use his own or yours when-” You spat at him. Yates closed his eyes, trying to collect his patience, before back handing you. You gasped, your head moving with the force and the taste of blood filling your mouth.
“You shouldn’t have done that,” Yates growled, before grabbing your body and turning you onto your stomach. You screamed, as Yates grabbed your underwear, pulling them forcefully down your legs.
“You bastard!” Nadia yelled, “You won’t get away with this! We’ll kill you! We’re going to kill you!” You could hardly hear her over your own screaming as Yates’ rough hands ran down your body, moving towards your intimate parts, “It’s okay, Y/N. It’s all going to be okay. Don’t touch her! Let her go! Y/N, you’re going to be just fine!”
“No!” You gasped, when Yates thrusted into you, stealing your last bit of innocence.
— — —
“Miss L/N,” Barba called softly again. You looked up at him through blurry, tear filled eyes. He gave you a small smile before stepping away from the stand, “No further questions.”
You felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. The bailiff handed you a box of tissues, and you thanked him, dabbing the tears away. You looked up at Jay, who also had tears on his face, but was full of pride as you told your story. You smiled at him, and went to stand up.
“Your honor, I want to cross examine,” Yates said, standing up from his table.
“Objection, your honor, the witness has gone through enough trauma today,” Barba argued.
“Then why make her relive it again tomorrow?” Yates asked, “Let’s get it done today.”
The judge looked between them, “Fine. But get out of line, Mr. Yates and we’re done today.”
“I’ll be on my best behavior,” Yates gave the judge a sickening smile, “Miss L/N.”
You gripped the hem of your skirt in your hands, “Yes.” You answered.
“It’s nice to see you again-”
“Objection!” Barba yelled, “Badgering.”
“Overruled,” The judge answered back, “Yates, get on with it.”
Yates nodded, “Miss L/N, did you have an orgasm when I, as you accused, raped you?”
“What?” You gasped.
“Objection!” Barba yelled, standing up from his desk, “Relevance! Your honor!”
“I’m trying to build a storyboard,” Yates said, a sick smile on his face, “Studies show that women have a harder time orgasming, unless they find themselves in a complete relaxation mode in a trusting environment.”
The judge weighed the ruling for a moment, “Overruled. The witness may answer.”
“Are you kidding me!?” Barba objected again.
“Silence, Mr. Barba or I’ll hold you in contempt.” The judge said, “The witness may answer.”
You felt sick as Yates turned towards you, taking a step to block Jay from your line of sight. You had hardly ever said a word of what happened down in the basement to Jay until today. Hank wouldn’t let him listen in on your initial interview or any of the ones leading up to the trial. Neither of you needed Jay losing his temper and doing something stupid. Olivia grabbed Jay’s hand as Yates took another step forward.
“Did you, Miss L/N, have an orgasm when I, as you accused, raped you?”
You dug your nails into your palms. You looked Yates in the eye, as tears fell in a steady stream, “Yes.”
Yates smirked, “No further questions.”
When the judge dismissed everyone for the day, Barba was quick to gather you from the witness stand. He guided you to a room off the side of the court room. You barely had time to process as the door swung open, and Lindsay, Hank, Al, Olivia and Amaro came rushing in. All of them were speaking at once, cursing Yates, cursing the Judge, even cursing Barba. You could feel a headache growing as you walked towards the large window facing the streets of New York.
“What a sick bastard!” Lindsay cursed.
“The jury can’t believe that bullshit he said,” Amaro said.
“Juries do fucked up shit every day,” Al sighed, “It wouldn’t surprise me if he did.”
“Nobody believes that she orgasmed because she liked it,” Olivia said, her voice full of disbelief at what just happened.
“Are you going to nail him?” Hank’s gravely voice sounded out, “Or I’m going to kill him.”
“I’m going to do the best that I can-”
The door opened again, and you turned to find Jay standing in the doorway. It felt like everything had melted around you, and all you could focus on was him. For once in your life, you wished you had the power to read minds to know what he was thinking about. He just looked at you from across the room.
Olivia must’ve realized what was going on and spoke up, “Hey, let’s give them the room,” She said, and everyone finally realized Jay had arrived. Slowly they made their way out of the room, but Olivia turned to look at you, “If you need anything, We’ll be outside the door.” You nodded your head. She patted Jay on the arm as she walked out.
“I-”
“I’m so sorry,” You blurted out. Jay furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. He watched you stand there, and cover your mouth as sobs left your mouth, “I-I didn’t mean to,” You shook your head violently “I didn’t want it! I didn’t like it! I just. . . I just happened and I-”
Jay crossed the room quickly, he hesitated for a moment, and you nodded, knowing exactly what he was going to do, and Jay wrapped his arms around you. You choked on a sob as you hugged him back for the first time in many months. He held you tightly against his chest, breathing in your scent as you cried in his arms. He had been waiting for this moment for months, the moment when you finally let him hold you in his arms and comfort you.
Jay pulled back, holding you at arms length, “You did nothing wrong, you hear me, nothing.” He searched your eyes, hoping that he was getting through to you, “It’s a natural response. Anyone with two functioning brain cells knows that. It doesn't mean you wanted it, or liked it. He’s a sick fuck for trying to make it seem that way.”
“I tried, Jay,” You bit your lip, “I tried hard to fight him off, and to stop him. He drugged me. I couldn’t fight him off.” Jay pulled you back into his chest.
“I know,” Jay sniffled, trying to blink away his own tears, “I know you did everything you possibly could. And I am so, so grateful for that,” He placed a kiss on the top of your head, “He will not get away with this. I’m going to make sure he never sees the light of day again.”
Summary: When Chicago is in a heat wave, Y/n feels unwell while pregnant, worrying Jay
It was definitely the hottest day of the year. Chicago was going through a heat wave and Y/n had never felt more miserable. It also didn't help that she was seven months pregnant with her husband's baby, Jay Halstead. She could feel the beads of sweat falling from her forehead and her face heating up so much that she must have looked like a walking tomato.
Jay warned her to stay at home and protect herself from the heat, but when the air conditioning broke, Y/n decided to go out to buy a fan. But she didn't know it would be so difficult to walk and even breathe on this hellish day. It seemed like with every breath she took, the air burned her lungs. She walked slowly, one hand on her stomach protectively, trying to at least get to the store that was a few blocks away.
Y/n knew Jay would be so upset if he knew she left the house in this weather. Since she became pregnant, the man has become even more protective than before. However, she knew he was having a busy day and couldn't leave work just because Y/n was hot — although he would do that if Y/n called him and asked to buy a fan.
But everything got worse when Y/n's vision became blurry and a feeling of nausea appeared. Jay's wife leaned against the wall next to her, trying to get some shade to compose herself. She brought a hand to her mouth, trying to breathe slowly to calm her heart that was beating rapidly against her chest.
"Miss! Miss, are you okay?" a man appeared in front of her, with a worried look. "Do you need me to call an ambulance?"
"No, it's okay." she managed to whisper. "Could you help me get to Fire Station 51? It's just a two-minute walk." the man, already advanced in age, seemed friendly enough for Y/n to trust him. And the truth was that she had no other option, as it seemed like her legs were going to give out at any moment.
"Sure thing, ma'am. Here, lean on my arm." he agreed with a gentle smile, offering her his arm to help her walk. "In this heat, no one should be walking around. It could be dangerous, especially in your condition."
"I know." Y/n sighed, knowing that beyond this lecture, she was going to hear worse from Jay when he found out. "But I wanted to buy a fan. It wasn't even a five-minute walk."
The man patted her hand in understanding. "I don't judge you, dear. My wife has already had three children, and in all of them, she was very stubborn. I understand that you don't want to be dependent on us, poor husbands, but we just want you to be well."
The woman didn't respond, now feeling even more guilty for not calling Jay to ask for this favor. She didn't want to bother him, but the plan didn't go as expected. The rest of the short walk was done in silence, Y/n's cheeks becoming more flushed, and having difficulty breathing in the hot air.
When they finally saw the fire station, Jay's wife couldn't be more relieved. Gabby and Brett, who were getting out of the ambulance, having just arrived from a call, noticed Y/n's tired form and immediately took hurried steps towards her, helping to carry her and him into the shade.
"Y/n? What happened? Are you feeling okay?" Gabby asked worriedly, helping her into the back of the ambulance. Y/n sat down, one hand on her stomach and the other on her back, closing her eyes as she started to feel dizzy.
"I'll call Jay." she managed to hear Brett say, but she was more focused on not throwing up than responding to the paramedics.
Thankfully, the man who helped her took charge of explaining what had happened. Y/n had the strength to open her eyes and thank him deeply for his help, asking if she could do anything to repay him, but he just shook his head and smiled. Then he left, as Y/n was now with people who could help her medically.
"What are your symptoms, Y/n?"
"I don't feel well, Gabby." her voice shook, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall. "I'm sick, dizzy, and a headache is forming."
After leaving the phone call, Brett began taking her vitals, while Gabby applied a cold compress to her forehead. "You're most likely dehydrated, we have to go to the hospital to put you on an IV and check the baby."
"But he's fine, right?" Y/n sobbed scared, clutching her belly as she looked at her friends with a frown.
"Yes, he seems fine. But just to be sure." Gabby comforted, starting to help Y/n lay down on the stretcher.
"What did Jay say?"
"Well, he—" the blonde paramedic started to say, but was interrupted by the sirens of a police car, getting closer and closer. "I guess that's your answer."
"How did he get here so fast?" Y/n thought out loud as he watched the police officer get out of the still moving car. He immediately looked around for his wife. When he saw them, he quickly broke into a run, his eyes wide in panic. Hailey got out of the driver's seat, right behind Jay.
"I'm really sorry."
"What, baby? You don't have to apologize." Jay knelt down next to Y/n, gently cupping her face with his hands so he could assess her condition. Unconsciously, his hand slid down to her round belly, finally managing to take a deep breath when he felt a light kick against his touch. "I shouldn't have left you alone in this weather. You're okay, baby."
When Brett called him to explain the situation, he felt a sense of fear like he had never felt before. Not even when he had been shot at, kidnapped or beaten. The most important people in his life being in danger was his worst nightmare.
Luckily, they were in the neighborhood and managed to get to the fire station in record time thanks to Hailey's driving. Over time, Y/n and the blonde had become very close, often ganging up together against Jay. Not that he minded, since hearing his wife's giggles and knowing she was more relaxed when Jay was working as she trusted his partner to protect him.
"We need to get them to the hospital. Y/n is showing signs of dehydration and the baby needs to be checked." Jay's head turned unusually quickly to Gabby in concern. She hurried to add, "They both seem to be fine, but I want to make sure."
"I'll go back to the police station and let Voight know you won't be working anymore this week." Hailey offered. "I hope you're okay, Y/n. I'll stop at the hospital to check on you."
"Thank you, Hails." Y/n smiled weakly.
"Let's go." The man nodded, kissing Y/n's forehead comfortingly. He climbed into the back of the ambulance with her and held her hand the whole way while Gabby got into the driver's seat and Brett checked some vital signs.
The ride was relatively calm, but Y/n was getting paler and sicker by the minute. Jay mumbled words in an attempt to calm her down, but inside, he felt like he couldn't breathe. They should have called two ambulances because he was close to passing out.
Finally, they arrived at the hospital where Maggie and Will were waiting for them at the entrance. In no time, she was already settled in and several doctors were checking everything they could. Jay stayed by her side the whole time, answering some questions from the doctors when necessary.
The fluorescent lights of the hospital were harsh against Y/n’s already sensitive eyes as she waited for someone to tell her what was going on. Jay never let go of her hand, his grip firm but gentle, his thumb softly brushing against her knuckles in a silent attempt to comfort her. Her heart was pounding, but the cool sheets of the hospital bed and his touch gave her some relief.
Will Halstead, dressed in his white coat and looking every bit the composed doctor he was, entered the room, clipboard in hand. His face softened the moment he saw Y/n and Jay.
"Hey," Will greeted, his tone warm yet professional. "How are we doing here?"
"Not great, Will," Y/n admitted, her voice weak as she tried to give him a small smile. "I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck."
Jay immediately turned to his brother. "What’s going on? Is she okay? Is the baby okay?" His words came out in a rush, and it was clear he was doing everything he could to keep his composure.
Will raised a hand to calm his younger brother. "Take a breath, Jay," he said, flipping through the chart. "We ran some tests and monitored Y/n’s vitals. She’s severely dehydrated, which is why she felt dizzy and nauseous. Her blood pressure dropped, but thankfully, the baby is doing great. The ultrasound shows a strong heartbeat."
Y/n let out a shaky breath of relief, her free hand instinctively moving to her belly. Jay visibly relaxed beside her, the tension in his shoulders easing.
"So, she’s okay? The baby’s okay?" Jay asked again, needing to hear it one more time to truly believe it.
"Yes," Will assured them with a kind smile. "We’re giving her IV fluids to rehydrate her, and she should start feeling better soon. I do want her to stay overnight for observation, just to be safe, but I’m confident she and the baby will be fine."
"Thank you, Will," Y/n said, her voice cracking slightly as tears of relief welled in her eyes.
Will reached out to pat her head. "No need to thank me, Y/n. Just promise me you’ll stay out of this heat, okay?"
She nodded, feeling a mix of guilt and gratitude. "I’ll try," she murmured, glancing at Jay.
Jay turned to Will. "Thanks, man."
"Anything for my sister-and-law and nephew." He winked at her before stepping back. "I’ll check on you in a bit, but for now, just rest."
As Will left, the room fell quiet, except for the soft beep of the monitors and the rhythmic drip of the IV. Jay pulled a chair close to the bed, sinking into it as he brought Y/n’s hand to his lips, pressing a lingering kiss to her fingers.
"You scared me today," he said softly, his eyes glistening as they locked onto hers. "Don’t ever do that again, Y/n. Please."
"I’m sorry," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. "I didn’t mean to worry you. I just... I didn’t want to bother you at work."
Jay let out a soft, incredulous laugh, shaking his head. "Bother me? Y/n, you and this baby are the most important things in my life. I’d drop everything in a heartbeat if you needed me."
Her lips trembled, and tears spilled down her cheeks. "I didn’t think it would be such a big deal. It was just a fan."
He leaned forward, cupping her face with both hands, his thumbs gently wiping away her tears. "Listen to me," he said, his voice steady but filled with emotion. "Nothing is ‘just’ when it comes to you or our family. You’re my world. Promise me, no more trying to do everything on your own. I’m here for you. Always. Ask me to buy you a fan, food, a house, I don't care, I'll do it in a heartbeat."
She nodded, fresh tears streaming down her face. "I promise," she whispered, her voice breaking.
Jay leaned in, pressing a kiss to her forehead before resting his against hers. For a moment, they stayed like that, their breaths mingling as the world outside the hospital room faded away.
"I love you," she said softly, her hand finding its way to his cheek.
"I love you more," he replied, his voice low and full of sincerity. He placed a hand on her belly, feeling the soft flutter of movement beneath his palm. "And I love you, little one. But you’ve gotta cut your mom some slack, okay? No more giving her a hard time."
Y/n laughed weakly, the sound light and sweet. "Hear that?" she said, looking down at her bump. "You are already giving Daddy white hairs."
As the IV continued to drip and the monitors beeped steadily, the weight of the day began to lift. They were together and okay. That was all that they needed.
