[withereal]

ed tw

if ed-related content is triggering to you, do NOT scroll down. if you’re recovering, i support you but this is NOT the right place to be. take care of yourself and stay healthy.

[withereal]

update

the last time i posted on here was february 24. at that point, i had decided that i didn’t want to live the rest of my life like this. i said i would attempt self-recovery and log out of my account.

and?

i’m not fully recovered. i’m still coming to terms with it. i still deal with the residual effects of my ED. but i can certainly say that recovery is SO worth it. i’m not even on the other side of recovery, and i’m dealing with some of the unpleasant aspects of it, but it is already so so much better than living with an ED. so much better.

i promise you deserve recovery. sick at all is sick enough.

i promise recovery is worth it.

i promise you won’t regret it.

i know this is the last thing this community wants to hear. i know when i was deep in my ED, i honestly couldn’t envision not living like that. but it is possible. it is so possible for you to have real, full, joy. it is possible for you to heal your relationship with food. it is possible for you to leave behind the death trap of your ED.

i don’t intend to use this account all that much, and i deleted a lot of my past posts that were triggering. but i do want to use my voice to tell you that recovery will always be better than your ED. you are not the exception to the rule. i have never seen anyone who regrets recovery. you will not, either.

[withereal]

gonna attempt self-recovery because i realized yesterday i don’t want to live like this forever and let it get worse. i’m not deleting this blog but i’m going to delete the app. hopefully i don’t have to return.

please stay safe, everyone. if you’re looking for a sign to recover, you have my full support. you deserve recovery regardless of what you may think.

[withereal]

i don’t know if anyone can relate, but i am fully aware that being skinnier will not instantly, inherently make me happier. i am completely aware that i am starving myself for a goal that i can never attain, and that it’ll never be enough. it frustrates me because i know what’s logical. i just can’t stop myself from chasing a horizon i’ll never reach.

[eatingmyemotions]

✨ Thinspo Imagine ✨

(Trigger warning for some?)

You absolutely love it when you wake up with the sun gently peaking through the blinds. You sit up and your stomach growls so badly it hurts. You tell yourself the grumbling in your stomach is your fat screaming because it doesn’t want to die. So you force a smile and slide out of bed. You know you’ve lost weight. Right?

Your mouth feels so dry. You think about getting something to drink but then you remember you have to go get on the scale.

So You shuffle into the bathroom and glance between the scale and the toilet. There’s such painful cramping from the constipation… If you don’t get everything out you won’t get a perfectly accurate reading. You do your business and stand up. Too quickly. Your vision gets spotty. You sway and You place your cold hand on the wall and stare nervously at the scale for a moment.

You shiver and quickly strip down and step on. The anticipation makes you anxious, the hunger makes you nauseous, when you look down you want to cry, scream, die, see you’ve gained just a little. Probably bloating or liquid retention. Probably because you had 50 calories more than you should have yesterday. You disgusting, fat thing.

Just to double check you recalibrate the scale. On. Off. On. Off. Oh God… still fat. It doesn’t change and You think you might cry that’s okay. You quickly pull your clothes back on, glancing in the mirror. Resist the urge to pinch pull poke the fat You slowly go down the staircase and head for the kitchen.

What a headache. Taking a peak in the fridge, you glance over the food inside. The thought of an egg makes you physically drool. You grab creamer, shut the fridge, and turn to flip on the coffee maker. You don’t deserve food, you gained weight. You start your morning exercises as you wait for the coffee to brew. Your heart is pounding in your chest, it feels like you’re dying.

You finish shakily as the coffee is ready for you. As you pour your coffee, stir in low calorie creamer, you look out the window at the beautiful colors in the sky as the sun climbs up into the sky, you’re happy hungry. hurting. decaying. and you know that this will kill you eventually nothing will ever feel as good as getting and staying skinny will.

Thinspo and Imagines are incredibly decieving. Eating Disorders are never pretty. They are hard, painful, and ugly illnesses. If you are new to these tags, if you’ve been here for a while, if you’re “dieting”, if you’re “just looking”. Tell a friend, family member, doctor, anyone. Tell someone you’re struggling. Nothing will ever feel as good as recovery and living will feel.

[withereal]

something to remember: thinspo is posed and potentially edited. models are definitely flexing and sucking in. i know some of us feel like we’re only skinny when sucking in, but it’s the same for thinspo. they aren’t relaxing their stomachs. you’re not fake. thinspo is.

[withereal]

oh no thank you for 50 followers but i hope you’re all doing okay 🥺 dm me if you need to talk because support is important, even if you’re not ready to recover yet. i hope you all have a good day and eventually learn to be confident in your own bodies without risking your health <3

[withereal]

so i finally talked to a trusted friend about my (supposedly real) ED. uhhhhhhhh. i feel okay. i don’t know if i’m ready for recovery but at least i know that i have someone who will support me when i am.

[confessionalists]

sometimes it’s just u and ur oversized jacket against the world

[marlboroken]

I see all these posts about people feeling fake saying they have an ed for eating a sandwich. This is the shoutout post for people who starve all day and binge all night. The people who are stuck on a certain weight because they binge almost daily. The people who can’t control themselves and hate it more than anything. The people who feel like their ed is fake all day and every day.

[withereal]

maple brown sugar instant quaker oatmeal + half a sliced banana = literal perfection (213 cals)

[dainty-and-spacey]

repost if u break the stereotype of Eds

you eat once a day/ u don’t always fast 24/7

you’re not bones

you don’t openly talk about it lile it’s a big problem

you don’t want treatment

you don’t think you’re sick enough for treatment

you can’t purge

EATING DISORDERS AREN’T WHAT THE MEDIA TELLS YOU

feel free to add!♡➹★

[wanna-be-sk1nny]

-you don`t always drink/eat zero/light products

[asydxxc]

- sometimes u eat normally

[withereal]

EDs are weird. if i feel full and satisfied, i immediately get suspicious because that must mean i’m eating too much, right? if i feel good, i start feeling fake because if i really had an ED, i’d be miserable, right? if i’m happy with what i see on the scale, i must not have an ED because otherwise i’d never be satisfied...right?

and at the same time, i want to be miserable and hungry, because at least then i’ll be sure i have an ED. i guess that desire is a symptom of having an ED anyway, but it usually doesn’t seem that way. i hate the constant push and pull between wanting to have an ED vs. realizing something is already wrong with the way i think.

[withereal]

i only post thinspo privately now.

it’s true that people who want to find thinspo will find it regardless, and whoever happens to end up on my blog is probably looking to dig themself further into an ed. i know that not posting thinspo publicly on my blog isn’t going to change much at all.

however, we need to do a better job of not influencing people to develop an ed. “not pro just using tags” doesn’t mean anything if your post is meanspo or glorifying having an ed. there is a difference between venting and romanticizing your ed. i can’t stop anyone from posting anything, but this is just a reminder that what you post publicly does matter. you always have the option to post privately. you are still responsible for your actions, and it’s not belittling or shaming to say that.

if you’re really not pro ana — if you’re really only using tags — think before you post. consider whether you could potentially help someone who didn’t have an ed get one. you deserve to be heard and cared for, but that is possible without encouraging eds.

[withereal]

real talk i miss eating breakfast. i miss eating cereal. eggs. toast. bagels. pastries. pop tarts. oatmeal. i love breakfast foods. i wish i could eat breakfast without feeling guilty.

[enby-life]

Eat when you’re hungry

“But it’s late at night-” eat!

“But it’s the middle of the day-” eat!

“But I’ll be having lunch soon-” have lunch earlier! Or have a light snack!

“But I don’t deserve to eat” I promise you do, you deserve to eat and feel full I promise you

Eat when you’re hungry! When you’re hungry, you’re sad. And that will just add to whatever else is upsetting you at the time. Even if it’s something like popcorn or a strawberry or toast or meat and crackers or a breakfast bar, eat when you’re hungry!

[withereal]

hey, i reblog thinspo on this blog but i’m considering just posting it privately because i’m not sure it’s ethical to say that i’m pro-recovery and this is only for venting and then to reblog content that promotes having an ed. does anyone have input on this?