B O O K S T O R E

I write a little bit of everything!

[woahwhosthisauthor]

carl grimes x reader

he loves me, he loves me not

nothing good comes out of living in an overrun, dying world, right? i mean, people die, nowhere is safe, and you have to scavenge to survive - it's not right. It's now a way of living. So, like I asked before, nothing good comes from living in an apocalyptic world, right?

wrong. very wrong. despite the odds, something good did come from this new world. someone good. someone i didn't initially know I needed, but now, in complete contrast, I know he's someone i could never go on without.

he's the one good thing i have left. he's everything I have left. this world is unforgiving - i've lost my friends, parents, and siblings. i'm not willing to lose him too. he's not just carl grimes or the sheriff's son, he's my best friend, my family, and everything that i am anymore.

but, we've been fighting.

left and right there's always something wrong. he's been so harsh, so unlike himself. i want to blame it on all the scavenging, all the fighting, and all the work he's been doing. i really do. but, part of me thinks he's just gotten too comfortable.

he's comfortable knowing that every night, before i go to my own house, i'll stop by his and kiss him goodnight. or, vice versa, and i'm always willing to receive his love - no matter how major or minor his actions are. he's comfortable knowing that at the end of a long day filled with hard decisions, i'll be there to support him.

and, he's grown too comfortable knowing, that despite however he decides to treat me, i'll continue to love him every day.

i can't help but feel like he's starting to take advantage of how much i really do care for him; taking other's actions out on me, shoving me off to do some work he has days to do, or choosing to blow up on me if he's not completely satisfied with his day.

it's not fair. and, if one thing is for certain, it's that i won't let it keep happening. i refuse. this isn't my boyfriend, my carl.

he didn't notice at first - the short or sometimes even no answer, the avoidance of looking at him, the "i'll help", said towards other people, in order to get away from him.

but, he's going to notice now.

it's the group's nightly tradition - having dinner together before sometimes splitting up into our separate homes or sometimes sleeping in one house all together.

either way, we always eat and rick's. same table. same spots.

until now.

carol, maggie, and i set the table minutes before everyone came hurdling into the room at the sound of carol's call.

everyone's just about seated in their normal spots as i go up to maggie, it's quiet for everyone to hear what i'm about to say, but only if they're paying attention - luckily, carl hasn't been doing any of that lately.

"hey, maggie, mind if we switch spots for the night?", i try to manage a regular toned voice, but my face, which is purposely turned away from my long haired boyfriend is one of plea.

she smiles a knowing smile, i live with her and glenn after all. "sure thing.", she gives my shoulder a little squeeze before going to take my place beside carl. i take hers beside glenn.

as soon as i take my place for the night, i can feel eyes burning into the side of my head. i turn slight enough to see that they're carl's. wow. now he's paying attention.

i hate knowing his eyebrows stitching together in confusion is because of me. i feel like i'm in trouble. but, i'm not, he is.

none of this would have happened if it weren't for him.

"oh, before we eat, i should let you guys know i invited carl's friend ron, his mom, and his little brother. they've been welcoming to us, so, i thought why not return the favor.", rick speaks up above the clatter, instantly stopping daryl who sighs as he retrieves his stretched out hand without any mashed potatoes.

but, ricks wrong - carl doesn't like ron. and, ron doesn't like carl. i've been friendly, but i've always held back due to carl's dislike.

"huh. i thought ron was more of y/n's friend', glenn thought out loud, yet still looking at maggie.

they've both seen interactions between carl, ron, and i, no doubt i've always been the level ground between those two.

i take this as my chance to speak up, to give myself a distraction from my clearly conflicted boyfriend, who can't seem to look away from me.

"yeah, i like ron. he's nice.", i nod, anxiously ripping apart a piece of napkin under the table. carl is going to flip.

"good. I just so happen to like you, too.", a voice coming from the doorway, draws everyone's attention. it's the anderson family, no one heard them come in.

rick. carol, and michonne jump up to greet the three of them, at the same time a loud, interrupting bang comes from carl's direction.

this time, i turn fully to him, in hopes of seeing a good reaction. he's glaring at ron, who at the moment is placing an extra chair by me, then, he looks down at me, his face changing to one of confusion again, but, also a twinge of sadness or maybe regret.

"carl?", his dad questions.

"my leg hit the table", he offers back

the rest of dinner goes well?

i mean, it was fine for me - a bit of talking to ron, glancing over to an uneasy looking carl, some good food, carl has barely touched his, some laughing at daryl's weird stories, carl doesn't even flinch.

it's satisfying, really.

believe me, i want more than anything to be okay with him. but, if we're not going to be, i still have every right to have a good time.

he knows that now. I've shown him that tonight.

i just want to know, how is he really reacting to it?

"you kids go ahead, we'll clean up the rest."

"oh, no, that's okay carol, let me finish."

"y/n", her look is stern, she wants me to follow the other kids who left as soon as they heard her first words.

"go", and, i nod, deciding it would be best if i just listened.

as, i go to turn around, i'm hit by an invasion of space. carl. an upset looking carl at that.

is this why carol told me to go?

"what?", i glare as i speak. his face drops slightly, and for a moment, i feel like i won. i start walking into the living room, where everyone else is, a now desperate version of carl follows close behind me.

"y/n", he pleads as he grabs my wrist, gently but securely.

that's one thing i love about him, his gentleness. i'm sure i could slice his hand off with a chainsaw, and he'd still grab me lovingly with the other one.

i turn around, looking up at him.

"we're going to my room.", his pleading slightly falters, and a more sure tone becomes laced in his voice.

"wha-?", i start to question why, even though i know exactly why - but, i get cut off by the force of his careful but eager pull before i can finish.

he doesn't let go of me the whole time we're walking to his room. he's serious.

"sit.", he locks the door, lets my hand go, and motions for me to sit over on his bed. i comply.

i feel like I'm in no position to argue with him right now.

and, also, i left my blanket on his bed - so i grab that in support of the situation.

"i was wrong", his eyes fall with his words, he looks guilty. he tried to hide it downstairs, but it's all showing now.

i nod, "yeah, you were"

"but i love you. so much.", he steps away from his door, takes a few steps closer to his bed, closer to me.

"i should have never got upset at you, and I'm sorry, so, so sorry - none of it was even your fault. you're too good to me.", his legs are touching the bed now, his hand reaches up to grab my head, and tilt it up towards him even more.

"carl", i almost whisper

"let me finish.", his eyes follow each inch of my body, up and down, up and down.

"but i can't stand you even conversing with another guy while we're arguing, especially not ron. imagine my surprise when i went to your house earlier today, learned you weren't home - discovered you were at ron's, and got forced into a run with my dad before being able to get to you. but then, when you finally come over for dinner, he's invited too, sits away from me, next to you and drools at you the entire time we're having dinner."

"sick. i felt physically sick.", he sighs

"i hated arguing with you in the first place. but, i especially hate that it was because of me.", he runs his thumb along my cheek, biting his lip to stop himself from doing what we've been missing those past few days.

"so i accept it. i accept every single thing you do moving forward; you tell me you hate me, you ignore me, you talk to ron - as long as that means you and i are okay."

he's bending down to sit beside me now, his words still lingering. he's begging me not to break up with him.

"y/n", he almost chokes out, he wants me to say something, he wants me to tell him that we're okay.

i swallow, "kiss me."

and, he does. it's perfect. it's just as special as our first; sweet, wanting, gentle.

it's almost impossible to make him stop - that entire night. and the days after. he's plan on savoring every moment, no longer willing to look over them.

yes, there have been times when carl and i disagree. but, one thing is for sure, I've never doubted his love for me. never will.

[woahwhosthisauthor]

The bustling sounds of the Walter house fill my ears as soon as I open the front door. To the 'average' person, it may sound like pure chaos, but to me, it's the most perfect kind of chaos. It's the very thing that makes this house a home.

All the screams and shouts point towards the living room - which is exactly where I go. I was spot on, every single one of the Walter and Garcia boys are either sitting on the couch or sprawled out on the floor, a few with controllers in their hands, all fixed on the television in front of them.

“Boys,” I say with a relatively normal pitched voice. I'm able to gain half their attention.

“Y/n, finally!”, a certain dark haired, dark eyed boy, jumps up from his spot on the couch in excitement.

“Isaac, hey.”, I smile up at my boyfriend who's already standing in front of me - leaving little space between us.

“I missed you.”, his voice is soft, sweet, and genuine, the side of Isaac I'm very lucky to have. He comes beside me and wraps an arm around my shoulder almost immediately. He's bringing me over to his spot on the couch, next to Danny.

“We saw each other like what, two hours ago at school?”, I questioned before smiling at Danny and taking my spot between him and Isaac.

“Yeah, but that's too long.”, Isaac sighs, while leaning back and wrapping his arm around me again. Who would have thought, Isaac, my best friend since first grade, would eventually become my boyfriend - who in turn, would become the neediest person in my life.

“Mhm, yeah.,” I say above a whisper, focused on the game playing out in front of me.

While Isaac and I's relationship is new, we've always been super close, so we're lucky to have skipped the awkward stage - I guess you could say we're in the 'honeymoon phase', as Alex likes to call it.

“Yeah,” Isaac whispers back while looking down at me, before using the arm that's already curled around me to pull me even closer to him. I settle into his embrace.

“Glad to see that's going well.” Lee says sarcastically in front of Isaac before turning around and bringing his attention back to the revolving alien spaceship on the television.

Isaac scoffs from beside me, “shut up.”

As much as Lee gets on Isaac's nerves, I actually like the younger Garcia brother. He's an instigator, sure, but, he's one of the most interesting people I know. He's not as bad as everyone says he is.

“How about you, Lee, any girls?”, I already know the answer to that. I'm sure Lee would rather chop off his right hand, then give any girl even 1/5 of his attention. Which is fine, I just like to ask occasionally to get him stirred up - it's what I've always done.

The younger Garcia twin turns around slowly, looking in between Isaac and I as we await his answer. “I'd rather jump off a cliff into molten lava. Besides, you and you are enough around here.”, he scoffs to finish his statement, then turns back around, clearly annoyed.

I try my best to hide my laugh - Lee would probably lunge at me, knowing I found what he said to be funny. “Hmm, are we too much?”, I turn my head to my boyfriend, who's still very close to me.

Isaac shakes his head disapprovingly, “No, no. If you ask me, we're too little.” I nod in acceptance of his answer.

If it were up to Isaac, we'd spend every second of every day cuddled up to each other - never living a normal life, it's because of me that we don't. He's great, but he also never wants to be apart, but, with our busy lives, we have to be at times.

“I think that's exactly what he means”, Alex, speaks up from the end of the couch, leaning over Danny to talk. He's referring to Lee's recent comment.

“Stay out of it, Alex.”, Isaac threatens.

I groan, "Seriously, Alex, you're supposed to be my best friend - that means having my side in everything."

And, before Alex can reply to my words, Isaac pops up in complete shock and annoyance, "Him? Your best friend?", he glares not only at me, but at his cousin too.

"I'm supposed to be your best friend.", Isaac grumpily folds his arms over his chest - did I mention he's also dramatic? Very, very dramatic.

I sigh, "You are my best friend, but you're also my boyfriend. Alex is my non-boyfriend best friend, which is why I'm so upset that he's not on our side.", I turn the attention back to the freckled Walter boy. Isaac accepts my words, and in turn, he turns his glare completely onto his cousin.

Alex puts his hands up in defeat, "Yeah, yeah - sue me"

"Murphy", I call out while running over to my favorite horse - I know he's technically Alex's, but, in my heart, he's mine.

I begged Isaac to stop playing video games, and take me out to see the horses - well, not begged, he didn't complain. Isaac Garcia would never turn down alone time, even if we're not completely alone.

"I've missed you.", I swipe my hand over his soft coat, I haven't been over after school in days, to Murphy and I, that's pretty much an eternity.

I hear my boyfriend walk up behind me. Actually, I can feel his body warmth. I watch Isaac's hand as he reaches up from behind me and pets the dark horse in front of us.

"Careful, I'm starting to think you like Murphy more than me.", Isaac voices.

I stop petting Murphy, and turn to face the Garcia boy, "Oh, did you not know? I do like Murphy more than you."

He scoffs, typical Isaac, "No way."

I shrug my shoulders in response, "Yes, way.", I'm looking him in the eyes now, trying to let him know just how serious I am - even though I'm not, I like them equally.

"Murphy's great, but he's not me", his words are followed by the 'can't help the truth' kind of look.

I nod, "You're so right, who could ever like you? I mean, Murphy's amazing but, you, not so much.", I throw my hands up at my sides.

I watch as my boyfriend folds his lips in, while nodding down at me. He likes this game - the fight I'm putting up.

"So, you're telling me, after all this time, my feelings aren't reciprocated?", he jokes.

"Well, I mean, I like you, but I'm always going to like Murphy a little bit better.", I spit back. I can still feel his warmth. It makes the cold fall air not feel so bad after all.

Isaac shakes his head, "Not what I meant."

I feel my face fold up in confusion, "Oh, so what did you mean?", my words are still playful, we're still joking.

The dark haired boy takes an almost impossible step closer to me. He tilts his head to the side before speaking up again. Suddenly, the air feels almost too hot. "I don't like you, y/n. I think I love you."

The breath of air that I had in my lungs is suddenly caught in my throat. He loves me?

Throughout every year, every turning point, every sweet moment it's always been other words 'I care about you', 'You're everything to me', but it's never been an "I love you". It's so new. It's such a different feeling. But, honestly, I'm so okay with it. It's perfect - everything with him is perfect, and he deserves to know that.

I let out the breath I'm holding before speaking up, "I love you too, so, so much."

And, then it's there - all the fireworks, all the butterflies, all the stomach turns, all at once - all because of the heat, the warmth of his lips finding mine and the sweet words we just shared.

Growing up, I always knew there would be a forever place for Isaac Garcia in my life, whether that be through a friendship or being connected to the same small town, but, I never knew he'd turn out to be the very most important person in my life. I'm glad it's this way, though. I've never felt more loved than I do when I'm with him. He's the better half of me.

Finally, after losing all of our breath to each other, we pull away. We didn't want to, but we'll find our way back soon.

"Can you promise me something?", Isaac's almost breathless voice, carries through the crisp, perfect air.

I push my lips to the side in thought, "depends"

He smiles at my gesture, he's always appreciated that I didn't just tell him yes to make him happy, to make him satisfied. He knows that if I'm going to promise something, I'm going to mean it.

Isaac nods, "Promise me, no matter what happens, we'll continue to pick each other, every single day. If you can do that.", I smile at his words. I want to fall more in love with him every day, and I know that we will if we continue things just as they are.

"I've made that silent promise long ago, but now, I'm making it out loud. I promise, Isaac Garcia, to continue to choose us every day."