A Hot Cup of Cold Thoughts.
I just took another sip of water because nothing else feels right to suffice my existential appetite. I am feeling cold.
During my childhood, I met an 84-year-old Warrior. I asked him, “You fought for 50 years and now for years you’ve been home. Don’t you miss the thing which kept you alive for so many years and now not able to feel it anymore? ”. For which he replied, "When I was your age, I used to love fighting but then I was told that there has to be a purpose to fight. Later I found my purpose and I fought for someone else and kept on fighting on the battlefield. I became a Warrior. Today maybe I am not fighting for someone else but I am fighting for myself from loneliness, from my existence. One day I'll win this battle too. I'll die. You won't get it so go home fighter”.
I was inspired and wanted to be a warrior. Since then I've been fighting but with a purpose. Purpose of a meaningful life.
But today when my inner child asked me the same question, I couldn’t respond to him the way a warrior should have done. I still took the chance and replied that "I know it's too soon but I lost the purpose. I tried. I kept trying. And look, I am not a warrior anymore. If I try to fight now then I'll be called a heckler so don't lose your purpose if you ever want to be a warrior just get a reason to be alive".
Who am I?
It doesn't matter.
I just took another sip of water because nothing else feels right to suffice my existential appetite. Feeling cold. Guards down.
