So I really like fire
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@wolfie-says-hi
So I really like fire
Hey you
I see you there with your face. Man what a cutie, I know I know your ferocious and people should quake with fear around you, not to mention you are the most attractive looking person that has ever walked this planet and you are right on both accounts but hey every one needs a break now and then so donât forget sit up like the regal royalty you are, drink some water so that dazzling skin stays healthy. Check the time, Are you supposed to be doing something that will take the world by storm right now, Do you need to take any medication that keeps you feeling you? Also you might want to stand up and stretch those fabulous legs of yours. Maybe you should take a break like putting on some soothing music and closing your eyes, we donât want you to strain the most dazzling gems on the planet now do we? If your tired maybe go take a nap? and remember you can go ahead and eat those sweet treat because you are glorious and all your haters can go talk a hike because nothing can stop you from being the perfect you because only you can be you.
Your a good friend for waking me up at the right time its just...
Friend: Hey man time to get up and-
Me: I vote no
Friend: you have to get up for sch-
me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Friend: You can't just-
Me: I can and I will
Friend: Jazmine no
Me: -rolls over and covers face with blanket- My vote has been cast so Jazmine Yes.
-Has friends over-
-invites them into my room-
-opens door-
-Distant screaming about dogs, fluffy things, dragons, memes, and undertale-
Yep this is it this is all my life holds for me
-slowly closes door-
Oh no you meet all of my standards!
You don't get it You wanna know why you don't get it? Because your that down to earth guy that everyone likes and no one is afraid of falling in love with you. But me I'm different everyone gets this vibe that I'm a treacherous monster that enjoys breaking hearts but I don't I hate it. You don't get it because my brain always tricks my heart into be living that I am absolutely in love with this person or that person and a few months later my brain gets bored and leaves my heart to realize that my heart wasn't really in the relationship. And then I am left with the terrible realization that I can't just lead this person on and that once again they love me and I have to hurt them now because I don't want to hurt them when it's to late. You don't get what that feels like to have to break someone's heart over and over again You don't get that most nights I cry myself to sleep because I'm so afraid I'll never find love, and then, just when I think I can cope with it you walk in. With your soft demeanor and your chiseled jaw perfect lips that I dream about kissing eyes so deep you could hide a galaxy in them, smile so bright you block out the sun and such a beautiful talent with music it could tame the most savage of beasts. You tamed me without even trying around you I felt like I was Katherine and you were Patrucio. You don't get how loud my brain shouted hey this is not a good idea but how high my heart leaped every time I saw you. You don't get that when I looked at you the world stopped You don't get that when you spoke I heard nothing else then your voice. And you don't get how much it's going to hurt just smiling and pretending like I don't have feelings like I never said hey I have feelings for you and that you never said that you don't feel that way for me. You don't get it but I finally do I finally get how hard they all fell for me and how much pain happened when I broke there hearts I finally get to see this from both perspectives But you don't get it and you never will.
The truth is, there is no escape
So usually when I sing around people it's softly and usually owl city or Bruno Marz and people usually think I would never touch any thing other than alternative or pop but today in the weights room let the bodies hit the floor started playing and a few are rocking out quietly and others put there ear buds in so they don't have to hear music they don't want to, but then there's me, screaming and growling and singing with a firey passion that usually only hardcore people have. They turn off the music and I don't even notice because man I am jamming like no other and when the song ends in my mind I stop with my rocking and head banging and I open my eyes to see most of these big muscled guys just looking at me like I had just offended there great ancestors and then this one dude throws me the' rock on' symbol and says "mad respect girl " and then every one starts high fiving and grinning and I got a few high fives and I'm not entirely sure why they were so happy.
Run faster.
Walk like you have back up. Thatâs what it means for men.
it genuinely took me a minute to realize this meant âwalk sexy so they stare at your assâ and not âwalk quickly and/or run because youâre in danger.â men are so fucking stupid and have zero conception of what being a woman in public is actually like lol
Every single woman who reads this immediately thinks, âWalk faster. Change directions. Surround yourself with people. Call your mom/sister/friend, tell her where you are, that you love her. Squeeze the keys between fingers tighter.âÂ
That quote is either a warning or a threat.
Oscar de la Renta marketing team lacks powerful women.
fucking this. my immediate reaction was clenching my fists, just reading this.
I swear all the color drained out of my cheeks just reading this, my shoulders tensed up, HELLO ADRENALINE.
so iâd be pretending iâm on the phone and dropping hints that iâm a judo instructor. IS THAT HOW I AM SUPPOSED TO WALK, OSCAR? BECAUSE THATâS WHAT I DO WHEN THREE MEN ARE FOLLOWING ME AT NIGHT
I ALSO START SPEED WALKING
GODDAMMIT OSCAR, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT ITâS LIKE BEING A WOMAN WALKING ALONE???Â
DO YOU ???
Literally did not even occur to me that this sign could mean anything other than a warning, until this post pointed out what it was actually supposed to mean. Jesus fucking christ.
Not gunna lie, thought it ment "walk like your an important person with three body guards behind you" and all I could picture was a fierce business woman in high heels and designer shades with three men in finely tailored suites and sunglasses looking like they came straight out of the FBI
My mom: I hope the Panthers win
My aunt: I think the bronks will win this year
My mum: who do you want to win this year hun?
Me: uh, well um -panics- FOOTBALL
My aunt: no really who will win jazzy?
Me: -complicated hand gesture of panic- SPORTS!!
Mum: -laughs- no come on be serious princess
Me: -throws gusts in the air- WOOOOOOOOO! -Runs in a circle- -runs to my room while still yelling woo-
Me: what makes the bowl so supper?
My aunt: Because it's the greatest competition in America
Me: Bowls can compete? If our bowls competed do you think they can win this giant competition?
My aunt: ....
Me: do our bowls need special training to enter? Do they need to be strong? Or fast?
My aunt: I get it! Your being sarcastic!
Squaaa!
I wanna be cute, like so cute people all around the world want to befriend me and almost everyone says under there breath as I pass by "look how cute she is I wanna hug her" But like I also want to be dark and mysterious and have everyone tremble in fear when I look at them cause I'll be so bad ass You feel?
Lately I've been, I've been losing Sheep! Oh no my sheep! Sombody help them! -Distant sheep noises- CATCH THEM PLEASE! -Distresed shepherd noises-
When your home alone do you ever just screech like a pterodactyl. Or maybe sing songs that you pretend to hate in public but secretly love as loud as possible Or sometimes ask your computer or phone "Who hurt you as a child?" when it won't load anything? Or whisper "fight me" when you see someone you think is really attractive? How about looking at someone and thinking' man they must give good hugs' Maybe sometimes seeing someone sad and whispering really bad pick up lines to them to cheer them up I do that allot, and I think others do it to