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Kiana Khansmith
Today's Document
trying on a metaphor

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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
KIROKAZE

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occasionally subtle

if i look back, i am lost

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@wolframharted
Brett Dalton in Deception 1x11 Loading Up
Being homeless was the culmination of a lot of shit in my life and none of you will ever get it, will ever understand it. It's not your fault, it's just the way it is.
You shouldn't have to, it was the culmination of a lifetime of being abused by my father. Of being locked away in a garage and told to piss in a sink, of being told to sleep with the Christmas decorations, of being told that because I spent a weekend having fun that I would have to leave his home. It was every spanking, every beating, every childish tantrum, every time I was denied making a decision.
It was the culmination of a life of desperation that was started by him and made into a tradition by me. Every joke, every desperate struggle to be liked, every angry word, every lie I told friends, every secret I passed onto people was because he was so desperate, so hurt, so in pain that he taught me that was how I dealt with my problems.
To David Poddig, dealing with problems was manipulation, Greed, Jealousy, and desperation and I have spent my life trying to understand and it's made me hurt people and made me use things and people like drugs to make myself feel better simply because I - unlike close family on his side - did not have the balls to actually use drugs themselves.
That's just it
I learned how to cope by lying, cheating, stealing, and manipulation of friends, loved ones, and family and the root cause of all of it was the lack of love that I felt from my family, that I will always feel from my family. It compounded every single friend I've ever had doing what is their right - leaving me behind to save their own mental health and sanity, and turned me into a desperate monster.
Then I became homeless. I became homeless and I gained a whole new host of issues.
I can honestly hope that you never become homeless. I would not wish that on anyone. Unless you do however, you don't get it, you don't understand it, you have absolutely fucking nothing to compare it to unless you have had to sleep with your shit in bags, unless you've had to have someone sleep in shifts iwth you so you wouldn't get raped, unless you've seen people beaten, had to pass on drugs, or sold your body for money.
Yes. I will own up to that here and now with all of you. I sold my body for money when I was living on the street. I made exactly 20 dollars and I walked to my therapist - four miles - and broke down sobbing.
Unless you have done that, you don't understand the depths that loss can bring me and you don't understand the pain that I have been through. That's just the way it is.
I can't ask you to understand either. I shouldn't. You shouldn't. It's my responsibility to sort through it. I understand that now, a lot better then I did. I brought it on myself through poorly learned behaviors, through behaviors that I have had to unlearn. This doesn't minimize what I've done. Or had done to me, or chosen to do. I simply ask for acknowledgement. I've seen some shit. I have done some shit. I have done some real next level bullshit.
I've spent most of my life as a professional victim. I'm very good at being a professional victim, at being taken care of. The universe inspires it in people. Take care of Carolyn. The universe and I have come to an agreement. The time of caring is over. It's time to for Carolyn to step up and take care of herself. That means facing up to every single thing that has happened in my life, in a life that's also been filled with a fuckton of magic, and wonder, and incredible experiences and people making it better.
That is going to be hard.
I'm stretching muscles that I have never used, I'm having feelings that I'm not used to. I am facing up to not only things that no human being should have to witness (yet multiple men and women witness day by day. There were homeless children at the shelter).
"The way you face trauma and grief shapes you as a person."
It's time for me to see who I am.
Suicide Squad: The Hot Topic of the Movie Theaters.
My stepdad once said that the DCU was "a child trying on it's parent's clothes" compared to the MCU which is ironic given that both have their roots in the same time period, both share writers, and both are generally enjoyed by both sides of the aisle. America has this nasty tendency to divide everything into bipartisanships. Everybody picks a side.
Marvel or DCU
Batman or Superman
Cap or Iron Man
And I can't help but wonder if it backfires because it seems like most major corporations that ask you to pick a side or a team never really go back and illustrate the point that both sides are valid, other people's opinions are valid, you have to just make your own point and do what makes sense to you. That's how we get Donald Dump you guys. Teaching our kids to pick a side, fight for it against all costs and never ever in a million years point out that the other side's point may not be right - but it doesn't mean they don't arrive at it based on a valid conclusion.
Suicide Squad is a lot like that given that I went in with some trepedation. The critics eviscerated it, DC fans had seemingly lost their minds over if it was good or not and the theater ended up charging me almost twenty dollars for tickets to the IMAx 3D theater. Thinking "Why not?" because I had never actually seen a superhero film in IMAX I let it slide, sat down and made up my mind.
Suicide Squad is the Hot Topic of the DCU.
It's the Hot topic of superhero film making. That's not to belittle Hot Topic, I love Hot Topic, but it's ceased to be about name brands or independent music and has become - well - corporate. It's not about seeling anything of substance, it's about giving people the pieces to their identity or the accessories to help kids and adults make up their mind or show their alligence to one of those teams that people end up on that have...no...point and basically encourage competition without a healthy end.
Suicide Squad is a lot like that despite it's message. Both Marvel and DC ironically have "Suicide Squads" (and when will we get a Thunderbolts team Marvel? Are you watching with baited breath to see how this works?) DC's is better known. It seems like DC's dark and gritty trademark has made it unabashedly afraid to embrace the weirder and the wackier. DC's villains feel more real (even though they're plant growing women, bear with me here guys.)while Marvel seems to be pulling away from it's own collection of mercenaries and bad guys in favor of mor galactic super villainy and characters like Loki, who the internet worships still with the fervor of a thousand firey suns.
It's not hard to see why. Captain America's scourge of nazism is far too close to home for a company like Disney who sells escapism and the promise of a better world. It's not Disney's fault, but it's disappointing that characters like Madame Hydra, Sister Sin, and bad ass women like that will never make the screen.
That's where Suicide Squad shines. Not in it's "bad guys doing good" premise, not even in it's Will Smith one-liners (though the man did try, like those pictures of people dragging the titanic through the depths he did try to pull it out of the water). The strength of the film is in Viola Davis, the first woman of color playing a soldier in a genre film in a mainstream theater that I can think of (if I'm wrong? please correct me), Karen Fukuhara as the criminally under represented Katana.
And of course, Margot Robbie.
There's zombies (That's actually a part of the comic, so I'm not going to address it) gun fights, a weirdly inappropriate Joker (couldn't we have saved him for the sequel?) blah blah blah no the real strength is in those three women who should rightfully be standing behind Diana Prince. The real one, not Gal Godot but Gal could stand with them too because damn they stole the show.
They stole the show amid cotton candy clouds and weird neon lights that seemed geared to those who might vape illegal narcotics before entering the theater, or those who might run screaming to Hot Topic for their "daddy's little monster" T-Shirts afterwards. It reads like a film that you'd take your 13 year old too so she could see a picture of what unrestrained female sexual prowess and stone cold badassery looks like.
I'd take my kids to see Black Widow, I'd take my teens to see Suicide Squad and rightfully so since it's unabashedly a teen film even with the violence. Yet I have to ask myself, if that does a disservice to the other superheroines who we've seen on camera so far in the MCU and beyond.
See, the strength to me in Robbie's performance was that she didn't take herself seriously. This was a comic book movie. There's no stoic purpose or grand higher mission, there's no dark past, no red ledger, she's just batshit crazy and she's okay with that and while the tendrils of sanity sometimes creep in she beats them back with her night night bat and all is well.
Karen Fukuhara's character was so criminally shortened, so quiet, that the moments where she got to emote made me want to know more about her. A sword? A possessed sword? holy shit yes sign me up. Killing gangsters who killed her husband? What? what is this madness? I want to know more DC why must you tease me, and thanks to your shoddy editing and sheer desperation to sell to teenagers I might not get to know more and that's criminal.
And of course Viola Davis.
Viola Davis was a stone cold bitch. Phil Coulson would spit, The Cavalry would raise an eyebrow and possibly make a passing comment about her hands not being clean, Daisy Johnson would rip out her hair, Natasha would probably scrub the missino but goddamn if I did not walk out of the theater believing that Davis would get it done and walk out of the city with glasses on. Cool women don't look at explosions indeed.
Viola Davis walked into that film, she's had it with these motherfucking meta humans on her motherfucking planet and she doesn't give a shit what anybody thinks because she is here for humanity. She needs to get. shit. done.
As a voter? As a voter who needs to stop the dumpsterfire from taking root in the white house? We need women like Viola. We need women like Amanda Waller under Hillary because those are the women who are going to stop shit, those are the women who are going to tell the men to step down, those are the ones who are going to raise up the ones who get it and those are the women who are going to teach us just how far we can go, fall, and rise again and it's important to see women rise.
Not everyone is blessed to see strong female role models. That's the god's honest truth. Not everyone is blessed to have a mother who can work four jobs and make them dinner without major reprocussions. women still do it, but it's this quiet strength and the truth of the matter is that women can't be quiet anymore. In a world where our bodies are threatened, where our lives are threatened, where black women are killed in front of their kids and people are forced into bearing unwanted children thanks to preconceived notions of religion, class, social structure, and culture - we need loud angry women and I cannot thank Viola Davis, Margot Robbie, and Karen Fukuhara and the rest of the women of Suicide Squad for stepping up and owning it.
Doing so amid a background of neon bullshit and candy coated confectionry aside. Suicide Squad has some major pacing problems. The joker makes no sense, two characters who could have had the most build up are barely touched whatsoever (I was rooting for you Flag and Moon. I was ROOTING for you.) but. they. tried. And in this case given the world we live in I'm willing to give them the gold star.
They measure up to their MCU counterparts but I can't help but wonder. People have stepped up defending Natasha, Peggy, Wanda, and the rest of the MCU women. I love them with all my heart, but I can't help but dream about what it would be like to see them at their most wild. We know, logically, that Natasha has a past, that Wanda is literally crazy. We've seen Peggy take the reins and out of all of the women in the MCU I would submit that save for a few short moments where Agent 13 and Maria Hill are allowed to open up on the throttle - we need to see more of that.
I can't help but wonder what it would be like to have seen these characters grow up in digital time, to show little girls both the beginning and the ends to their stories and to show them at their weakest, their most human, and their most vunerable. We see Margot Robbie naked and while yes, the MCU is Disney the most vunerable we've seen any woman is Peggy being comforted by Jarvis, Melinda May destroyed over killing a child, a crying Daisy Johnson as a phoned in male love interest was fridged so she could go on a roaring rampage of inhuman revenge. We've seen snippets before the compose themselves and move on. It seems sometimes like only Jessica Jones and maybe Wanda are so far allowed to open up and be crazy? To be angry? Remember how the member of the Dora Milaje became the most talked about character of civil war just because she broked no shit whatsoever? Holy SHIT me too.
I had a giant rant on twitter about the state of the women of the MCU vs the DCU and after some thought it's not that one is better then the other, it's that both are clearly equal but it feels like the women of the MCU aren't allowed to open up on the throttle nearly as much as the DCU women so far. the MCU women are reserved and mature and their moments where they lose their shit seem and feel calm and collected. They feel older, more mature, and apart from Jessica a little more composed. The DCU women are wild, wacky, angry and their punches pack a lot of wallop. It's like if Ghost Rider never got to actually open the throttle on his flaming bike or car okay. The MCU women sit in the starting gate, sit at post, they get ready - they charge a few feet before they're stopped. We can't do this what about the kids.
The DCU women leap ahead, scramble, shove each other, pull one another's hair and punch each other in the face and that's interesting to watch. It's a shame they were served with such poor story material. It's my high hope that as the DCU continues it'll be the ladies who are allowed to dictate more of the sequels and if the rumors about a planned Gotham Sirens film are true then sign me up sign me up sign me up. I'm here and I'm ready to play.
As for the MCU, there's no problem with the women, far from it. I can only personally feel a vague sense of loss for the down to earth genuinely gritty characters whose psychosis has driven comic books for decades. You are crazy if you're a superhero or a super villain, that's the point, and the MCU seems very deadset about muzzling it's crazy. Fine in small doses but what's the point of a guard dog if you don't let it off it's leash to play?
I walked out of suicide squad wishing for a sequel that wasn't directed by David "I want to be deadpool look at me with my pink unicorn trying to be deadpool" Ayers, wishing for a Gotham Sirens movie, and wishing for a Black Widow film, a Kate Bishop TV series, some conclusion to Peggy's story, the thought that Ghost Rider would not instantly want to be friends with Daisy Johnson and maybe she'd never come home and be a roaming vigilante so she could just meet with Jessica and Bobbi Morse unapologetically murdering people without being forgiven for her actions. Mostly a black widow film since I had a feeling that in the end Natalia Romanova, the star of the Soviet Ballet, the motherfucking original Black Widow, the former wife of the Captain America wannabe of the Soviet Union could have outshown them all
There's no lesson to be learned from suicide squad for the MCU. It'll do well because it's here to sell Puddin' Necklaces and Harley Quinn perfume despite critics who decry it's pacing while failing to compliment Karen and Viola and only complimenting Robbie (She was great but come on guys.) but I am left with a vague sense of loss. Not for the film that I paid almost 20 dollars for (out. fucking. rageous.) but for the nostalgia. If the DCU is putting on their older siblings clothing, it's time for them to start thinking about growing up and take their hits.
And maybe it's time for the MCU to pick up their toys and remember what it was like to be a kid again.
This 7-year-old boy is making light-up Pokeball badges to keep kids safe while playing Pokemon Go in the dark.
Check out his gofundme page here
New Captain America: Civil War TV Spot - “Dangerous”
female awesome meme: supporting females [2/10]→ trish walker
no one touches me anymore unless i want them to.
AESTHETIC MEME: [3/9] characters: B u c k y B a r n e s (requested by @adragonprince) Sergeant James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes is a former soldier of the 107th Infantry Regiment and the childhood best friend of Steve Rogers. As World War II was escalating, he was recruited to become a member of the Howling Commandos. During the time between 1943 and the end of the war in 1945, they had attacked and disabled many HYDRA bases. In the midst a fight on a HYDRA train, Barnes was attacked and promptly plummeted off the side of the train. He was then presumed to be deceased, though unbeknownst to his team-mates Barnes had actually survived, albeit with the loss of his left arm. Brainwashed and armed with a new cybernetic limb, Barnes ultimately became an enhanced HYDRA operative known as the Winter Soldier.
Okay, so because THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT happened, a bunch of people are donating money to the US Holocaust Memorial here.
If you don’t get why Captain America being secretly a Nazi-affiliate or out-right Nazi isn’t a big deal, please read about it here, because Jessica Plummer articulates it far better than I ever could.
The suggested donation is $3.99, or the price of the comic. If you buy, consider posting a screen-cap of your receipt (with your info blacked out of course) and tag @marvelentertainment to show them what you think of this “new spin” on Captain America.
For those who don’t have the cash to send, also consider emailing Marvel’s feedback email for the Marvel Heroes comics: [email protected]
Also consider tagging @roachpatrol because she’s the source of the idea to donate specifically to the Holocaust Memorial.
I hate you
I'm still here and I need to use this more for blogging because I care a great deal about my thoughts and opinions - And it'll be fun to share my opinions and then promptly disagree with anybody who dislikes them by deleting their opinions from my inbox.
Cool thing. when people who have no business wishing you "Get well soon" because they are so far above your paygrade wish you "get well soon".
REPOSTING MY PREVIOUS POST WITH STRAIGHT UP LINKS:
If at any point you're feeling triggered by tonight's Agents of SHIELD episode I suggest recognizing the following things:
- These feelings are completely and totally natural. Art is supposed to push your boundaries and make you think.
- You have a right to how you feel about any character. Any character.
- It is not okay in any capacity to mock, make fun, deride, derail or hurt anyone else because of these feelings publically. If you wish to mock people please take it elsewhere.
- If you are feeling like you are in danger of hurting yourself please avail yourself of the links below before hurting yourself or others.
- Remember that THIS IS FICTION. These are people playing a part and characters involved in a story. If you feel like this effects you very deeply your feelings are valid - but it is time to disengage with the fantasy. before you do something to yourself or others like sending anonymous hate or any hate period to fans or actors.
- Let's all try to be respectful of other people's feelings, thoughts and ideas. This story telling is doing that, it's telling a great story. If it gives you feelings that's great, just react responsibly to those feelings.
If you want to read about why the mind control trope is important may I suggest my research on that here?
THERE IS HOPE FOR THIS SITUATION. THIS IS FICTION.
In the meantime let's recognize that this does not happen save in this particular fictional universe.
IF YOU ARE WORRIED BY DAISY BEING PHYSICALLY ASSAULTED FURTHER
https://rainn.org/ - rape, abuse, and incest national network not only offers victims support but details several stories about their recovery
http://survivingabuse.org/: working to provide victims of abuse with the support that they need to continue fighting.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/200811/emotional-abuse-overcoming-victim-identity addressing returning from a sense of victim identity
IF YOU ARE CONCERNED ABOUT HER OVERCOMING THE MIND CONTROL
http://verbalabusejournals.com/about-abuse/brainwashing-and-domestic-abuse/how-to-control-your-mind-brainwashing/ - Stories of individuals overcoming their abuse.
https://lifebegins45.wordpress.com/category/brainwashing/ more stories of how you can overcome brainwashing.
http://emergingfrombroken.com/emotional-healing-and-busting-through-brainwashing/ More stories about emotional healing - which is obviously coming for those who survive this season, and how it does get better.
IF YOU ARE FEELING PHYSICALLY MENTALLY ILL OR SICK BASED ON THIS EPISODE
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/. I'm unashamed to admit I've used this. They are here to help in circumstances where you don't feel like you can disengage.
https://www.imalive.org/ - speak to a mental health professional online.
http://www.crisischat.org/ - a similar link to the link above.
IF YOU NEED TO DISENGAGE FROM THE FANTASY THAT MARVEL AND THE WRITERS OF AGENTS OF SHIELD HAVE CREATED.
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/10-relaxing-online-games-help-chill-you-out.html - this website has 10 games you can play to relax.
http://www.apl.tv/kittens.htm - here's a video of some kittens.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrCp2Yn5Eok - here's some funny dog videos.
The following funny programs are currently streaming on Netflix/Hulu:
ADULT FARE: Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Cutthroat Kitchen, The Holiday, The Flintstones, Roman Holiday, The Water Horse, Master of None, Animaniacs, Fuller House, The Princess Bride, Best in Show, Brooklyn 99 and many others.
CHILDREN FARE:Minions, Bob's Burgers, Archer, we're Back: a Dinosaur Story, Chicken Little, The powerpuff girls.
LEMONADE by Beyonce is streaming on tidal.com. You can listen to the entire thing by signing up for a free account and then canceling before you have to pay.
http://podbay.fm/browse/comedy - here's the top 20 podcasts on podbay.
https://archive.org/details/msdos_Oregon_Trail_The_1990 - here's where you can play Oregon Trail online.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPrAKuOBWzw Here's the cast of Hamilton performing Alexander Hamilton at the white house.
http://www.hongkiat.com/blog/20-best-websites-to-download-free-e-books/ - Here's 20 websites where you can download free ebooks.
http://www.watchseries.li/serie/killjoys - here's where you can watch killjoys, as well as http://stream-tv2.ag/watch-leverage-online-streaming/ leverage, another fun show, and http://www.watchseries.li/serie/the_librarians_us_. You can also find Agent Carter available on Amazon.
Remember If this fantasy is unacceptable to you or does you harm you are under no obligation to engage whatsoever and if it disturbs you then remove yourself from the equation. People have a right to tell the stories they want to tell, the same way you have the right to not listen.
Anyone who disagrees with how you feel about any part of this particular issue or your favorite character is not a person that you need to listen to in any capacity.
Two queens were the closest of sisters, until one’s betrayal unleash the power and began a war…
I was doing some thinking about mind control over the past few days and given that Agents of SHIELD is talking about mind control today I thought I'd look at the history and see if I could assauge my fears about the loss of Agency and it's history in science fiction. I'm - supremely bothered by the idea of Daisy Johnson losing her sense of agency to Hive. It's reminsicent of Jessica Jones and there are parts of me that don't trust the writers to do it well given that there have been other characters who have been mind controlled who they have not given the same sort of treatment to and it has not been addressed well.
Did they need to address it? I asked myself. Do they have a responsibility to show the severity of this to the audience? Yes, I said. I bet they will, since Daisy is the main character and star of the show, however what could I do, if anything, to help them further this agenda? This has not been addressed well in the past. While my favorite was and is Grant Ward, I recognized that there were dozens of other characters who were also suffering from a need for psychological help. I have no training but I could find facts. Yes! Facts that might help ease my fears as someone who was thrown into a fit by last week's episode. Facts and relating this to the real world, reminding myself that these characters are in no way shape or form real, will help me and possibly help others. good!
According to Wikipedia, mind control is a narrative device that is used to "induce changes in behavior in the characters, used as a device for raising tension in the audience and uncertainty in the context of the cold war and terrorism. It's true historically that individuals have attempted mind control and brain washing in our reality. Let's take a look - briefly at what that means.
http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/inside-the-mind/human-brain/brainwashing.htm - this is the third entry on google about brainwashing. It relates to attempts by chinese and korean captors to change the minds of American soldiers. By the end of the war they had confessed to practicing germ warfare as well as promised to convert to communism. At least 21 soldiers refused to return to the United States after the war.
However as the article points out, 21 out of over 20,000 soldiers isn't particularly encouraging statistics. It's still an impressive idea. What if you could change a person's thoughts? Hypnotists make people cluck like chickens and dance like monkeys, that's a loss of agency that people laugh at. Why when it's not funny? Can you give up your free will willingly?
It turns out that yes, you can. A form of this happens every day called "Social Influence" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_influence. This occurs when someone's behavior is influenced by others. There are three different types of this:
Compliance is when people appear to agree with others, but actually keep their dissenting opinions private.
Example: "People enjoy riding flying bananas. I find flying bananas are unsafe, but because the majority of my friends have strapped in and are taking off I want them to be happy so I support their trips on flying bananas.
Identification is when people are influenced by someone who is liked and respected, such as a famous celebrity.
Example: Chloe Bennet, Clark Gregg, and Brett Dalton have all been paid ungodly sums of money by the flying banana company to ride around on flying bananas and sell them to me. The majority of my friends would walk through fire to bring Clark Gregg a glass of water, and who am I kidding Brett Dalton could sell ice to eskimos not to mention Chloe Bennet is - well. Chloe. Therefore I set aside my misgivings about flying bananas and purchase one. I could die since I don't have the expensive model they're riding. But their image is so convincing to me that I am willing to obey my corporate masters and procure one.
Internalization is when people accept a belief or behavior and agree both publicly and privately.
Example: I have always enjoyed my flying banana it has carried me through good times and bad ones therefore I support it's existence.
In essence, social influence is something that we give up every day living in a world where cocacola exists, marvel wants us to buy their products, and there's a thriving flying banana industry. How does that relate to agency? That's a word that was also thrown around a lot last episode in regards to Daisy as well as in regards to Kilgrave. What's Agency? Why does it matter to me?
Google defines The "sense of agency" (SA) (or sense of control) refers to the subjective awareness that one is initiating, executing, and controlling one's own volitional actions in the world. It is the pre-reflective awareness or implicit sense that it is I who is executing bodily movement(s) or thinking thoughts.
That's the first google entry. Right below that is an article by Mary C Lamia, PHD. The first paragraph reads like this.
Your ability to take action, be effective, influence your own life, and assume responsibility for your behavior are important elements in what you bring to a relationship. This sense of agency is essential for you to feel in control of your life: to believe in your capacity to influence your own thoughts and behavior, and have faith in your ability to handle a wide range of tasks or situations. Having a sense of agency influences your stability as a separate person; it is your capacity to be psychologically stable, yet resilient or flexible, in the face of conflict or change.
As an abuse victim, that's pretty important and reading it I recognize that in my day to day life I don't have a sense of agency on a day to day basis - or at least a lot of it. I give into other people's opinions, I allow myself to be influenced socially (damn you flying bananas) and my personal opinions are often a little skewed by what is right and what is popular. People who have a stronger sense of self can and do manipulate me on a regular basis. It's no wonder I'd be triggered by a person like Daisy getting hit by Hive. It's no wonder that I identified and related to Ward who was also brainwashed in a more conventional sense by John Garrett. The GIs who were subjected to beatings and torturings said they were responsible for their own actions too as well as the bankers in stockholm and Patty Hearst supported the causes of her kidnappers.
We'll get to those guys later.
Is it time to let this trope go? Do the struggles of Jessica Jones and the horrors of what's happened to Daisy, Ward, and perhaps even Phil Coulson and Melinda May (the social influence of an organization like SHIELD that had been corrupted from within for decades by an organization like HYDRA is probably largely responsible for their attitudes too. Phil Coulson is a man I grew up with, why would he encourage Lincoln Campbell to put himself in danger with a murder vest? I may not like Lincoln but that's not okay by a long shot. Is the social influence of someone like Nick Fury responsible for Phil's cold behavior? For Melinda May's lack of emotion and the decision that led to her breaking down and suffering PTSD?)
Are these stories that don't deserve to be told?
If anything the strongest evidence for keeping the mind control trope is purely because this is stuff I didn't know about until I researched it. I didn't know what agency is or was, it was a word thrown around by tumblr as something I should have and I was socially influenced into thinking that it was something that I needed by a group of people without knowing what it was. Why would I listen, to a group of people when I had no idea what they're talking about or why this is a good thing? I instinctively knew it was good, but it was still a form of influence and if I wanted to live a life free of influence, or at least being aware of my choices and agency then I should have known about it. Simple logic right?
It's hard to admit that to be a part of society we have to give up a degree of control. Mostly because the fact about brainwashing is that we don't know how well it works in the long run. Some psychologists say that brainwashing is full proof and others say it's not nearly as bad as people make it out to be. Let's take a look at an important case that relates to brainwashing. That of Patty Hearst and the bankers in stockholm.
In 1974 Patricia Hearst was kidnapped by a radicalized terrorist group and held against her will. She was found 19 months after her kidnapping. It was discovered that she was forced to commit several crimes, during her imprisonment and had joined the terrorist cause. She was eventually jailed before her sentence was commuted and she was then pardoned.
Another example is the case that gave us stockholm syndrome. In 1973 several bankers were held hostage by a group of robbers. For six days they lived with the robbers and became emotionally attached to them. This reminds me quite a bit of Grant Ward - and how even with his history that made him more receptive to Garrett's influence. You can read about that issue https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome and how from an evolutionary standpoint we often bond against our will with those who have power.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patty_Hearst Patty's story is an ugly one, but it's important not because it relates to Daisy Johnson or Jessica Jones. Those aren't real people and those characters do not have real physical family members or loved ones. They are representative however of something that actually happens to people and has happened to others in history, and it's something that continues to happen every day. The disconnect comes in choosing to just see it as a story and not acknowledge that these are people who are influenced socially every day to give up parts of their agency, not to mention to those unfortunate few who might be - even now under the influence of someone who is taking away their sense of agency or their sense of right and wrong.
This happens, intentionally and unintentionally, all the time. Human beings are social creatures, we want to please and we want to be loved. Fiction can serve as a means of recognizing the flaws within ourselves as well as telling a kick-ass story and the disturbing nature of these stories can only underscore the flaws within ourselves. Stockholm and Patty Hearst are just as important as Jessica Jones, Daisy Johnson, Grant Ward, SHIELD's agents, HYDRA's agents, Clint Barton, and especially Bucky Barnes. From the unending struggle of prisoners of war, and the Iran Hostage Crisis to the modern day depiction of child soldiers in countries like africa These things happen every day
However people's willingness to look at these characters as the only example of how things like this turn out is both frustrating and a demonstration of the collective lack of agency of the internet as a whole. Nine times out of ten these stories do have a happy ending with recovery, positive messages, and acknowledgement that this is an issue that needs to be studied. Nine out of ten people not directly involved in the fandom will see this positivity for what it is, but it is that close relationship with characters and writer that makes it difficult to witness.
Almost as if you've willingly given up your agency or overly bonded with your captor - or a person in control.
The only conclusion I can draw from this is that we shouldn't give up the mind control trope. It's difficult to watch but we should instead think critically about all of those directly affected by it and apply those lessons and the struggle of those who come back in fiction to those who might need to come back in fact. Those who don't should be mourned and without spoiling things I can say that the issue is addressed in Civil War, and they do it beautifully.
The fact comes with the idea that as we've become more educated there's quite a few people who might see this as not okay. In a stunning move similar to what happened to Patty Hearst ( who was clearly brainwashed but still convicted until the science caught up with the emotional turmoil) the internet has become more and more educated about the issues affecting those weaker and those who are in a minority about how to live their lives. This episode might be potentially upsetting for a lot of people and it is the goal and effort of this post ot take people out of the fantasy (It is a fantasy. Chloe Bennet is fine. Brett Dalton is fine. They are in no danger. Neither has actually been abused or abused others.) and try and learn from other fandoms. Let's encourage a dialogue now.
If you are triggered by any of the things in this episode tonight, here is a list of websites that might be able to help. Remember, there is not a single person in this series,- yes I will make that blanket statement - who isn't a victim and who doesn't represent some real life trauma or tragedy. Art is the vanguard to education. Arm yourself with knowledge.
https://rainn.org/ - Rape, abuse, incest national network. I should hope that ABC won't decide to consummate Haisy, but should they do that then this issue has counselors for those who might be triggered.
http://www.cultwatch.com/how-to-leave-recover.html - escaping from a cult, similar to something that Hive has going on or seemingly wants to build with his sect of inhumans.
http://www.irct.org/news-and-mediaold/multimedia/video/overcoming-psychological-torture.aspx - overcoming psychological torture in the real world and what that can mean for you.
http://stoprelationshipabuse.org/educated/barriers-to-leaving-an-abusive-relationship/ - Leaving an Abusive relationship and talking about it. If something that you see on tonight's agents of shield resonates with you personally please reach out to someone within the community or to these links and speak to a trained professional.
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ - if ANY PART of this story, ANY PART IN ANY CAPACITY makes you question your self worth or feel like taking your life please reach out to these professionals. I am unashamed to admit that I have used them, the tools are there for a reason and there is no judgement whatsoever.
http://verbalabusejournals.com/about-abuse/brainwashing-and-domestic-abuse/how-to-control-your-mind-brainwashing/ - How to regain control of your mind after brainwashing.
http://emergingfrombroken.com/emotional-healing-and-busting-through-brainwashing/
http://leavingabuse.com/emotional-abuse-help-guide/ - what is abuse? how do we define abuse?
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hope-relationships/201305/confronting-emotional-abuser - how to confront an abuser in your life. It does not entail murdering them or encouraging them to murder themselves.
http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/cycle_of_abuse.html - the cycle of abuse is a large part of Grant Ward's storyline. How real is it? Are you doomed to repeat the mistakes of those who hurt you? Is an abuser a victim as well? Draw your own conclusions.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_hostage_crises - a list of hostage crisis's - and their outcomes. Which is what this is, a hostage crisis set in a fictional universe.
Just in case this needs this:
THIS IS A POST I MADE TO HELP MYSELF FEEL BETTER. It became a post about trying to offer assistance because I - as an abuse victim and a person who has experienced individuals like Kilgrave in both friends and family - am taking control of this particular storyline FOR MYSELF, and wanted to share what was helpful to me with others.
I DID THIS BECAUSE i WANTED TO HELP this post is in no way any attempt to hurt or mislead others. I did my best to report all of these facts as impartially as I could and provide links to the information.
I AM SOLELY RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS LIST OF LINKS If you feel it's incomplete or you have a story to share please feel free to reblog and share! HOWEVER-
THIS IS NOT A POST FOR CHARACTER BASHING, BLAMING, VICTIM BLAMING, OR ANY OTHER CHARACTER DISCUSSION. The whole aim of this post was to provide real world examples of fictional horror in an effort to point out that These are things that actually happen and it turns out different then stories portray it for everyone. If Grant Ward really existed he would have been jailed and then executed for his crimes against the United States, same as Bucky Barnes no matter what the circumstances.
That happens however because people don't know a lot about brainwashing and are unwilling to confront the realities of mental and emotional abuse.
Which brings us back to this post.
IF YOU FEEL THE NEED TO DISAGREE WITH ANYTHING THAT I HAVE POSTED PLEASE KEEP IT OFF THIS POST.
This post is meant to be a repository of links for people who might be concerned about tonight's storyline or feel triggered in the wake of this particular story. It is meant to be a safe haven. Feel free to send any hate to me, but I can pretty much promise that dissenting opinions will be read and then deleted. I will not be responding. I'm not doing this to start a character war, this needs to be done so that people don't send hate to brett, or chloe, or any of the other actors or writers over these creative decisions. It's gonna happen anyway, but at least ideally this post might exist with some helpful notes
And Remember
If you feel triggered, or you are hurt, or you feel any sort of emotional imbalance on behalf of any character in this story your feelings are valid. Taking those feelings out on others however is never okay. Sending harassing anonymous messages, harassing messages period to any particular fan of anything connected to this show or trying to rile up anybody makes you grosser then hive, nastier then the red skull, and more disgusting then Kilgrave. If you are feeling these feelings strongly please avail yourselves of these links or - most importantly - step away from the internet and disengage with the fantasy
If you cannot stand idle while you have these feelings then engage with these causes on a real world level, or write a respectful letter as many others in fandoms have done.
Do not give control to people who have never met you, who don't know your story or your struggles. Our stories are different but we're all still human and it's past time we tried to reach out to each other.