i distance myself when i feel unwanted. i won't beg for space in someone's life. if my presence doesn't matter, my absence won't either. i choose peace over forcing connection.
Emotional repression is all about avoiding emotional suffering.
It is a coping style used to hide and push away negative emotions.
Can be thought of as a defense mechanism, where people defend themselves from the negatives and focus instead on the positive aspects of who they are (Garssen, 2007).
It differs from emotional suppression, which is a one-off act of avoiding negative emotions, rather than a habitual coping strategy (Garssen, 2007).
Signs of Emotional Repression
There can be a range of signs that may indicate that you repress your emotions. These signs can be grouped into particular behaviors, ways of thinking, and ways of relating to yourself and others.
Patterns of Thinking
You believe negative emotions are something bad, weak, or embarrassing.
You believe negative emotions should not be expressed.
You believe that you never struggle with negative emotions and describe yourself as feeling ‘fine.’
Patterns of Behaving and Relating to Yourself
You ignore and push away negative thoughts and emotions.
You avoid and distract from your negative thoughts and emotions by turning toward numbing and escaping behaviors such as drinking and using substances, binge eating, watching tv, playing computer games, or overworking.
You find it difficult to recognize and admit that things in your life are harming you.
You find yourself at times erupting because of built-up emotions.
You focus more on your physical wellbeing.
Patterns of Behaving and Relating to Others
You generally do not like to be asked how you feel.
You put on a positive front in front of others; do not express negative emotions.
You get along well with people but struggle with emotional intimacy and close friendships.
You feel uncomfortable with and struggle to tolerate people who are emotional and express negativity, and you try to shift focus to the positive.
Just because a person represses negative emotions does not mean their emotions disappear.
People who repress their emotions tend to focus on their physical health and seek physical health solutions for emotional health problems (Abbass, 2005).
Just like a physical wound may fester and become infected if left untreated, the accumulation of unaddressed emotions can lead to stress, anxiety, and depression. The increase in cortisol that comes with stress (Patel & Patel, 2019) can lead to changes in heart rate, motivation, and sleep (Cote, 2005).
As people who repress their emotions may struggle to cope, they may use unhealthy short-term coping strategies such as:
Overeating
Substance abuse
Medication noncompliance (Abbass, 2005)
There are links between emotional repression and the development of physical health problems such as:
A lowered immune system that can increase the risks of developing other health conditions such as cancer (Weihs, Enright, Simmens, & Reiss, 2000)
Emotional repression may also restrict people’s ability to connect intimately with others in their life because of insensitivity to negative emotions and difficulty tolerating negative emotions and being around others when they are emotionally suffering.
Simultaneously, it may be difficult for individuals to be authentic.
They may resist opening up and being vulnerable to others, causing their relationships to be distant and avoidant.
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