S A N ↱ arranged marriage au
WHEN HE’S TOO (drunk) MUCH
a/n: may contain alcoholism past/present
• you didn’t understand why San neglected you.
• you fell in love with him.
• just like any girl would.
• the epitome of perfect.
• so was it because you didn’t meet his standards for a woman?
• that he’s too much for you.
• that you’re nothing more than just a business contract.
• “You’ve been in the clouds all day, Mrs. Choi.”
• “Y/n.” you mumble, pen signing your signature in your hand. “Please.. address me as so.”
• as a descendant of a successful line of entrepreneurs.
• it’s no surprise you owned 50+ coffee shops in the country and some international.
• known to be a silent woman.
• hiding in the shadows of your predecessors.
• and notoriously known as Choi San’s wife.
• — a man of many wonders and an A class entrepreneur of his own.
• you’re a woman everyone wanted to be.
• a woman everyone wanted too.
• “Will you be joining Mr. Park to Japan this weekend? You still haven’t confirmed if you’d be joining him. On his retreat.”
• you unknowingly glance at the picture frame of you and your arranged husband.
• wanting leisure from your deprived love life so bad.
• though the idea of spending time with another man sounded sinless.
• considering the circumstances...
• “It’s your anniversary with Mr. Choi this Saturday, is it not?”
• you turn the frame face front on your table, smiling softly at your assistant. “I’m sure he wouldn’t remember anyway.”
• now you’re at home packing.
• not surprised that San hasn’t came home yet.
• in the two— no three years that you two have been married,
• it seems he sometimes forgets this was his home.
• “Yes. That sounds splendid. Of course, I will be there. Wouldn’t miss it for the world. And to you too, Mr. Kang.”
• you hear him on the phone when he comes home.
• surprised that he actually did for the first time in a week.
• you don’t say anything when he enters your shared room.
• him not minding at all that you were packing.
• “Business trip?” he asks you seeming uninterested.
• that your own husband never seemed interested in you.
• that though you’ve fallen in love with him despite the arrangement,
• he’s never fallen in love with you.
• “Um..” you choke on your breath. “More or less.”
• he hums in response while removing his tie. “I’ll be flying to Jeju sunday morning to meet with Yeosang. So I’ll be home all of saturday. That okay?”
• you don’t see why he’s asking for confirmation.
• he’d do it anyway without one.
• he watches you from the corner of his eyes.
• wondering why you’ve never felt detested by the relationship in spite of your shyness.
• he thinks you two are an odd couple.
• that you two would have never been one if not for the marriage contract.
• but three years has taught him better
• “And where will you be going?”
• you sniffle while zipping you’re bags, letting loose your messily tied up hair. “Japan. I’ll be meeting with a... an investor.”
• it’s not entirely a lie.
• you won’t be meeting the investor in terms of business.
• “For how long will this be for?”
• you mentally think, why was he getting curious?
• if it doesn’t matter to him, he shouldn’t even ask.
• “The weekend. If things go well, I should be home by Sunday.”
• why it hurt him that you forgot.
• that he didn’t intend to do much this Saturday but stay home and eat dinner with you.
• maybe talk about work and relieve some stress.
• but he’d think by now you’d appreciate the anniversary.
• that he’d mean just as much as you do to him.
• you don’t notice the hidden annoyance.
• thinking, talking to him was like talking to a wall.
• “Seonghwa doesn’t want to stay for less than a day. And well, since my schedule seems free and no appointments have been made, I made some time for him.”
• you speak to your husband like a business woman.
• how fucking senile, right?
• how honorable you two are.
• how much pride you think San has over you.
• just two people in a marriage contract.
• nothing less and nothing more.
• but San’s overwrought though.
• the hints of displeasure from you sensible in his tone.
• “Seonghwa? Park Seonghwa?”
• at the sound of another man in place of him.
• “He’s invited me to his Japan retreat.”
• you look at San for the first time in a long time.
• and you think there was something different about him.
• his hair looked the same.
• his god like features were still in tact.
• “You are aware of our own affairs this Saturday, correct?”
• that he can’t pin you down.
• for not even caring for the past two— no three years.
• he had no right to ask you if you were aware.
• especially on a day he’s never celebrated with you before.
• “San, I think you’re the one unaware of our affairs this Saturday. Seeming as though you tend to forget for every year that’s passed, don’t you think you’re being too much?”
• getting dizzy and filled with rage.
• — jealousy and betrayal.
• how could you think of another man?
• when he was always right in front of you!
• completely disbelieved.
• “You never forget? The first, spending it with another woman. And the second with your friends in Bali? You never forget?”
• his jaw clenches and he’s in denial.
• in denial that he neglected you.
• he doesn’t feel like he did.
• “I called you. The day of and—“
• the way your lips frown makes him uneasy.
• unsettled that he’s made you so unhappy.
• he didn’t even realize...
• and not enough at the same time.
• “Then I don’t think me calling you would be much of a difference.”
• you blink away refraining from tears.
• starting to believe this arrangement meant more to him than you inititially thought.
• that fact actually hurting you more than when you thought he didn’t care.
• cause now that you know he did,
• why did he neglect you all these years?
• “I don’t know, Seonghwa... do you think I should go home?”
• Seonghwa making your day nice and all.
• but you hated knowing San might be home.
• alone with his stresses.
• his questionable decisions that often made him resort to the unnecessaries.
• only knowing that as his wife.
• when as his wife, regardless of what happens,
• it’s your duty to cherish him as your husband.
• “You love him even though you think he doesn’t love you?”
• you sadly smile, lips buried in a scarf San gave you last christmas.
• “He might be a lousy husband. But he’s still mine.”
• Seonghwa found you admirable.
• never understood why San didn’t.
• “San may as well be the luckiest man on the planet. The dumbest one too.”
• even though he was rarely there.
• you appreciated the things he gave you.
• like being your husband even though he sucks at it.
• “It’s still pretty early in SK. You might be able to make it before midnight if you leave for the airport now.”
• you look at Seonghwa with dreamy eyes.
• thinking if you hadn’t been so strung on San falling in love with you,
• you would’ve dared him to.
• “Go. And make sure he makes up for being the lousy husband he’s been.” Seonghwa kisses you on the forehead before taking your hand. “As successful as he is, adapting to loving you can’t be too difficult. Not something he isn’t capable of, don’t you agree?”
• you’re racing against time.
• three minutes away from your penthouse.
• ten minutes away from Sunday.
• guilty for being ungrateful.
• timid about being his wife.
• San insisted he stopped smoking months ago.
• but the copious amount of musk in the apartment was uncanny.
• you see empty bottles of liquor stranded on the floor.
• his figure staring out the balcony quiet and lonely.
• it’s not all his fault.
• because you sometimes forget,
• San used to come home to you.
• “Cheers to your wedding anniversary, San.” you hear him sigh. lit cigarette falling at his feet. “To the one failure you couldn’t afford.”
• you smile in small font.
• suddenly wrapping your scarf around his waist, pulling him into you.
• he was drunk, you mentally note.
• still dreamy eyed regardless.
• “What are you.. I thought you’d still be in Japan?”
• “And I thought you’d be out with friends.” you mumble hoping he’d react sober. “Didn’t we agree on no smoking in the house?”
• “Stopped.” he answers breathless, weirdly looking sober while staring down at you. “I stopped, remember? Started today because.. because I didn’t have you.”
• “S-san you’re drunk. You don’t know what you’re saying.”
• you think his hands are filthy.
• from doing the things he used to do before meeting you.
• but you let him hold you.
• his trembling disappearing when he does.
• you curl against his palm and softly smile.
• “I haven’t.. I haven’t been good to you, have I?”
• you place your fingers over his and hum. “Well I can’t blame you for doing what you’re only capable of.”
• “I am capable! I am capable of loving you. I am..”
• because you used to hate drunk San.
• when he’d come home gurgling.
• you wonder how drunk San really is.
• drunk words speaking sober thoughts, you know.
• but was he hammered enough to kiss you?
• “San, do you want to kiss me?”
• waiting for you to do it.
• “San, I’m your wife. You don’t need my permission, dummy.”
• wanted to kiss you sober.
• “I don’t want.. don’t you to hate me, y/n. Don’t want you to think I’m too much.”
• so you lean up and press a kiss onto his potted lips.
• his eyes processing slow.
• “Do you think I’m too much?”
• you chuckle, nodding softly. “Yes San. I do think you’re too much.”
• “B-but you still love me, right? When I’m not there. And you like being my wife?”
• I mean, through thick, it might have been difficult to.
• “I didn’t sign the contract for just business, San. I wanted to love you, you know? Wanted you to love me.”
• he doesn’t need to think twice,
• about why people fall in love with you.
• about why he’s fallen in love with you.
• “Can we start over? As husband and wife. T-tomorrow when I’m sober. Can you come with me to Jeju?”
• you don’t need to think twice either.
• your schedule’s usually free.
• but you agree because it’s San who asks you.
• it’s San who wants you to make the time.
• “Let’s start tonight. By you taking a shower and sleeping beside me? You think you can do that for me, San?”
• kissing you through his intoxication.
• knowing he’s capable of loving you.
• “For the record, I like being your husband too.”
