vulnerable (in your amrs) ⋆˚꩜｡ nsfw matz
˙⋆✮ words count: 3,6k
˙⋆✮ summary: The one where Hongjoong learns what vulnerability is with Seonghwa.
˙⋆✮ tags: friends to lovers, smut, trans male hongjoong, sub hongjoong, soft dom seonghwa, dom/sub undertones, mommy kink, squirting, puppy kink, cross posted on AO3
˙⋆✮ comments, reblogs and likes are appreciated!!! ˙⋆✮
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“Are you okay?”
Hongjoong jumps at Seonghwa’s voice, not expecting the older to start talking to him.
“Yeah, why?” His voice sounds flat, almost bored. His chest shakes with the effort of keeping it even.
“You seem like you have a lot on your mind lately.” Seonghwa’s voice sounds soft. Gentle, like he's talking to a scared child that will cry at the sound of too-loud voices.
Hongjoong has been feeling raw and open, like he's ready to break apart. He just didn't know that others could pick up on it.
“Don’t worry about it.” Hongjoong's eyes finally leave his computer screen and he turns his chair around to look at Seonghwa fully. He can see the hesitation in the man's eyes, and knows he wants to push further.
Usually Seonghwa never pushes. He lets go very easily when it comes to him. He knows how Hongjoong is always guarded, closed off, even.
Suddenly there's determination in Seonghwa's pretty eyes. It makes Hongjoong shake.
“You know you can always come to me if you need something, right?” His previous hesitation seems to have evaporated.
Hongjoong suppresses a shiver. He wants to drop to his knees and ask for everything from Seonghwa. He shakes his head.
They lock eyes for what feels like forever and not long enough at the same time.
Hongjoong's knees start to shake. He's thankful he's sitting because he thinks he would have collapsed in the middle of the room otherwise.
Seonghwa’s eyes are dark and searching, scanning every inch of Hongjoong's face for something. He doesn’t know what for, but when the taller one gets closer to him he stops breathing.
Seonghwa puts his hands on the armchairs on either side of him, caging him in, and moves his face closer to Hongjoong.
“I will do everything for you, you know that?” Seonghwa’s voice is so breathy and close.
Hongjoong can't help the gasp that escapes him. Seonghwa is so so so close. He can see the fire in his eyes, the intensity there, like he's about to eat Hongjoong whole and not waste a bite.
“Just ask baby, don't be scared.”
Baby.
Hongjoong almost moans. He has to bite his tongue until he tastes blood to stay calm and not crack completely under the other man.
Seonghwa must feel his inner turmoil because his brow furrows in a way that makes Hongjoong want to lick it. Maybe he's a little crazy.
"You can give in, baby, don't fight yourself.”
Hongjoong whines so loud from the back of his throat they both jump at the sound. He's mortified, he feels like melting to the ground and disappearing right there and then.
Seonghwa’s hand hovers over his cheek, wanting to touch and feel, yet still a little unsure if it crosses the line. Something inside of Hongjoong snaps completely, he’s so weak. He is the one who puts his cheek on Seonghwa’s hand. He feels ready to explode with it, it’s so overwhelming to be touched with so much care and softness. Seonghwa's hand begins to tremble against his cheek.
That’s when Hongjoong realises that his eyes have fallen closed. When he opens them, his vision is blurry and unfocused. He’s crying, Seonghwa is finally touching him and he’s crying, and he feels pathetic. He’s about to flee and run, when Seonghwa’s voice washes over him.
“It’s okay angel, let it all go.” His voice is so soft and full of tenderness. He’s beginning to wipe the tears that are falling like a faucet with both hands against his cheeks.
Hongjoong finally meets Seonghwa’s eyes again; they are so full of emotions it feels like he's drowning. He crumbles completely under his gaze. He throws himself at Seonghwa, hears the gasp the other man lets out at the unexpected action, yet Hongjoong feels arms wrap around his waist, always holding him and taking care of him.
He lets his sobs rack through his body, clinging to the back of Seonghwa’s neck like his life depends on it- which might just be reality at the moment. His body is shaking so much, it feels like he’s going to die. Seonghwa’s hands rubbing circles all over his back is the only thing grounding him.
“That’s right my love, you’re doing so good,” The words are whispered against the shell of his ear.
Hongjoong whimpers and buries his head in the crook of Seonghwa’s neck. The skin-on-skin contact makes him ache in ways he never felt before. He needs more, so much more. He needs Seonghwa all over him, inside of him. His nails bury themselves in the back of the other’s neck at the realisation.
Seonghwa’s hands are still on his back and he moans. Hongjoong feels so fucking crazy at the sound, it’s the most beautiful sound in the world. He wants to write songs and books about it. His nails dig in harder as he untucks himself from Seonghwa’s neck to look him in the eyes.
Seonghwa's eyes are half-lidded and so dark, his lips still open around a silent moan. Hongjoong’s knees start shaking at the intensity of it all, he wants to hear it again. His brain is total mush but he still tries to convey the need.
"A-again, please again.”
Seonghwa’s eyes fall closed and he groans so loud, Hongjoong feels his knees buckle and he almost falls. Thankfully Seonghwa is here to catch him by the hips, holding him and protecting him, like always. He bends down a little to put his forehead against Hongjoong's own.
They both gasp at the contact, they’re so close. He feels like he’s flying.
“What do you need, baby? Tell me.”
Hongjoong just whines while trying to regain his thoughts to answer.
“Need you, please.” His voice is so whiny and fucked out already, yet he doesn't feel embarrassed.
"You're so sweet, baby, how can I deny you anything?” Seonghwa coos.
They're so close, Hongjoong feels the urge to kiss him- so that's what he does.
When their lips meet, the world stops. It’s so good, better than any dreams he ever had about it.
Hongjoong can’t stop the noises that spill out of him, and the burning desire inside his lower belly. He feels so needy already. The kiss is so soft, too soft for how desperate he feels. Hongjoong wants Seonghwa’s tongue in the back of his throat. He feels delirious.
He opens his mouth to urge Seonghwa to deepen the kiss, and he’s indulged once again.
The kiss turns heady and hot, so full of passion and neediness from them both, Seonghwa tastes so good, and Honjoong never wants to breathe again. Sadly, they pull apart to catch some air. Hongjoong chases Seonghwa’s lips with a needy whine.
Seonghwa’s giggle makes shame burn hotly in his lower belly. “Such a needy baby,” The words are whispered softly against his cheek, he flushes all the way down to his toes. His head feels floaty.
He squirms a little bit and that’s when he feels it; Seonghwa’s hard dick is pressing against his thigh. Hongjoong can feel how big he is. He moans loudly- if his head didn’t feel so floaty he would be so embarrassed, but he’s way beyond that right now.
Hongjoong can feel how wet he is getting. He would feel a little pathetic but Seoghwa’s hard-on is still pressing against him. Maybe they’re both needy.
He feels the urge to touch, feel how big Seonghwa is. His floaty mind still tells him that he should be good and ask.
“C-can I feel it, please,” His voice breaks at the end.
Seonghwa looks pained as he closes his eyes. “Are you sure you want this?” He opens his eyes again; they are filled with lust and Hongjoong burns.
“I want it, I need it, please Mommy, need you inside,” The words are slurred, Hongjoong barely understands what he said. His head is too floaty, his mind working on pure desire.
What he said registers with him when he sees Seonghwa’s wide eyes piercing him with heat, his lips slightly parted with surprise. Such pretty lips. Hongjoong wants to apologize, to say that he doesn’t know what came over him, but he can’t, he’s too floaty.
So he cries and hides his face in Seonghwa’s chest. Seonghwa’s hands are in his hair, softly petting his head.
“Hey, baby, It’s okay, Mommy is right here.” Seonghwa coos softly while pressing a kiss to his hair.
Hongjoong gasps through his tears. He’s okay, Mommy is here. Seonghwa will take care of him, he always does.
“Look at Mommy, pretty boy.” The sweet praise makes the toes of his socked feet curl. He obeys. Seonghwa is so beautiful. Hongjoong releases a shaky breath.
There’s still lust in Seonghwa’s eyes, but there’s also so much love and care too. Hongjoong aches for him.
“Good boy. Are you sure you want this?” The question reminds him of how wet he is, ruining his boxers. He nods eagerly.
Seonghwa tsks softly, caressing his cheek, and Hongjoong leans into the soft touch.
“Use your words.”
Hongjoong blinks softly, long eyelashes fluttering. He looks into Seonghwa’s eyes.
“Please, I want it so bad, want you so bad.” His words end on a high pitched whine.
Seonghwa kisses his nose. Hongjoong giggles at the ticklish feeling.
“Come here, baby.” Seonghwa takes his hands and leads him to his bed. He guides him gently so he lays down on his back, his hands never leaving Hongjoong’s hips, he’s burning.
When Seonghwa climbs on top of him, caging him in, he feels even more floaty somehow. He whines as he pulls the other man closer, needing his warmth. Seonghwa giggles softly, while peppering kisses to the side of his face.
“My needy baby.” It’s said with so much adoration, Hongjoong moans softly as his hips hump slightly against Seonghwa thighs, and the barely-there friction through their clothes makes him moan louder.
Seonghwa puts his hands on Hongjoong’s waist beneath his shirt. The skin on skin contact breaks his brain a little more, and he gasps loudly, hips humping desperately against Seonghwa’s thigh.
“That’s it baby, make yourself feel good for Mommy,” His voice is so raspy. Hongjoong feels it down to his toes. The voice and the filthy words make him throw his head back with a loud moan.
Seonghwa’s mouth is on his neck, kissing and biting lovely marks into his sensitive skin; it feels so good Hongjoong feels like he’s going to explode.
The position puts more pressure on his clit and when Seonghwa begins to grind his thigh down on him, Hongjoong feels the muscles in his lower belly tighten. He's so sensitive, it’s been so long since he felt this good.
“M-mommy, gonna cum, please, please, please...” He sounds borderline delirious with pleasure, drooling all over himself.
“Cum for Mommy baby, be a good boy,” Seonghwa groans in his ears, his hands getting tighter around his waist, probably bruising him.
Hongjoong cums so hard his vision goes blurry, and he’s a mess of sobs and intelligible words. His cunt is clenching around nothing desperately, god he needs Seonghwa’s dick inside of him.
When he comes down from his high, Seonghwa is whispering sweet nothing against his skin as he kisses it, hands caressing his waist so lovingly. Hongjoong sighs happily and basks in the sweet affection.
He feels Seonghwa’s dick throb even through the fabric, it makes him so crazy. His head feels a bit clearer, but he’s still so warm and he needs Seonghwa.
He whines again trying to get Seonghwa’s attention, he paws at the back of his head.
“What is it, puppy? What do you want?”
The sweet pet name makes his insides burn hot and his brain turn to mush. His hips rise again.
“Need to feel Mommy, need you so bad.” It’s so hard to talk, he’s so warm all over.
Seonghwa groans against him before placing a soft kiss on his lips, a cute peck, way too cute for what they’re doing right now.
“Okay puppy, let’s get you out of those clothes.” Seonghwa’s voice is so soft, it feels like a warm blanket all around him.
Seonghwa undresses him slowly, kissing every patch of skin he can find. Kisses to his scars, to his nipples, and he shakes and cries out as Seonghwa sucks on them eagerly like he’s trying to milk him. The thought is so surprising and arousing, he buries his hands in Seonghwa’s soft hair and tugs.
Seonghwa moans again and Hongjoong feels like he’s flying. Seonghwa puts his forehead on his collarbone, nips at it. He arches his back with a soft gasp, hips going wild. Next thing he knows there’s hands on his hips, tugging harshly at his loose joggers. He snaps his hips to help Seoghwa take them off.
“Yes, yes, yes. Please,” He sounds so fucked out already, he’s too far gone.
“Don’t worry puppy, Mommy’s got you,” The reassuring words, the pet name, and the way Seonghwa says it has his clit fucking beating. He just whines pitifully.
Seonghwa covers his thighs with a litany of bite marks and licks at them as an apology. Hongjoong just drools all over his chin, the pain and pleasure mixing so beautifully in his guts.
The kisses stop and Hongjoong finally looks down between his thighs. His heart almost stops. Seonghwa is looking at him with so much hunger in his eyes, his toes curl in his socks. They stare at each other, it’s so intense, his whole body is on fire.
Seonghwa doesn’t stop looking at him as he gets closer to Hongjoong’s soiled underwear, absolutely sticky with his cum and how wet he is.
Seonghwa keeps getting closer until his nose is flush against his stained underwear. Seonghwa closes his eyes blissfully as he starts sniffing loudly. Hongjoong squeaks in embarrassment, body instinctively trying to get away from Seonghwa’s prying nose.
Seonghwa's hands hold his thighs apart with bruising force.
“You smell so good puppy,” Seonghwa moans against his cunt, nose to his aching clit.
Hongjoong moans and shakes as Seonghwa begins to lick at his clit through the fabric. The pleasure is so good, he’s dizzy with it. The firm hands around his thighs are the only thing grounding him so he’s not floating away.
“Seonghwa, M-mommy, need you inside, please,” His delirious pleas are finally heard as Seonghwa gets himself naked as fast as he can. Hongjoong whines at the loss of warmth and contact. His whines die in his throat when he sees Seoghwa’s pretty hand wrap itself around his even prettier cock.
Hongjoong watches with big tears filled eyes as Seonghwa pumps himself slowly, precum spilling from his head, covering his dainty fingers, eyes still focused on him. Hongjoong wants to taste so bad, but his cunt is so empty, clenching with need and arousal.
He’s about to beg again when Seonghwa almost tears off his boxers with how violently he takes them off. Warmth spreads through him. The cold air against his pussy feels euphoric; the look of pure awe and love as Seonghwa’s eyes drift between his needy eyes and even needier pussy feels more so.
Seonghwa throws himself at Hongjoong’s lips and cages him in again. They kiss so messily that there’s spit all over his chin, down to his fucking neck, and all he can do is moan and beg for more. Seonghwa’s dick is against his thigh, spilling precum all over it. Hongjoong’s cunt feels like it's gushing.
“Do you have a condom?” Hongjoong's hazy mind takes a second to process the words.
He whines in distress and shakes his head rapidly.
“Don’t want it, need to feel you.”
Seonghwa looks like he’s about to fucking explode on him. All he knows is that he needs to feel every vein of his beautiful dick. His brain is just so blissfully quiet beside screaming Seonghwa’s name like a prayer.
Seonghwa puts his forehead against his, with laboured breaths.
“Fuck, okay baby, I got you,” Seongwha sounds as fucked out as Hongjoong feels. ”Spread your legs puppy.” He spreads them as wide as he can and is rewarded with a soft “good boy” against his lips. His heart sings in his chest.
Hongjoong watches, completely entranced as Seonghwa brings the head of his cock against his cunt. He thinks he might get teased again, has his whines and begging words ready to go, but no. Seongwha enters him slowly, inch by inch, letting Hongjoong get used to the feeling of having his pussy spread open on a thick length.
Hongjoong has stopped breathing, he’s gasping for air. It’s so overwhelmingly good, Seonghwa is so deep and thick inside of him, he’s in heaven.
“You’re so tight and wet. You feel so good baby.” The words are accompanied by the slow rolls of Seonghwa’s hips.
Hongjoong can feel the tears of pleasure rolling down his cheeks, can hear himself moan and whimper like he’s dying. This is the best day of his life- he’s crying on Seonghwa’s cock and it's exactly where he wants to be.
Seonghwa is still fucking him at a slow pace. Hongjoong is a really greedy man, he needs it fast and hard. He’s too fucked out to speak between his mewls of pleasure. He does the next best thing and wraps his legs around Seonghwa’s tiny waist, forcing him deeper inside of him.
Seonghwa moans loudly and hips stutter a bit, hitting Hongjoong’s sweet spot blissfully.
“Right t-t-there, harder, faster, Mommy please,” It’s all mewled and jumbled together but of course Seonghwa understands him and delivers.
Seonghwa pounds into him so hard and fast his body is jolting with it. He throws his head back and lets Seonghwa destroy him for everybody else.
His thighs are shaking around Seonghwa’s waist and he can feel him moaning against his neck.
He feels so good his insides are singing, he can feel the pressure in his lower belly growing rapidly. His moans are getting louder and louder, his hole convulsing hotly.
Seonghwa senses the rapid fire spreading through him, He pushes against Hongjoong’s lower belly while still pounding into him and he’s about to explode. A part of his brain panics and he feels the need to warn him.
"I-I’m going t-to squirt, please, please, please.” He’s so loud, his cheeks burn hotly.
“Fuck, squirt for me baby, let it all go,” Seonghwa’s voice sounds delirious.
That pushes him over the edge. He wails as he squirts so hard he expels Seonghwa’s dick out of him, his cunt convulsing repeatedly, totally out of control. Seonghwa is there to kiss his face and tell him how good he is.
Hongjoong’s head is so floaty he can only think about how much he loves and cares about Seonghwa.
“I love you, Seonghwa.” he whispers tiredly, a soft smile across his lips.
He hears the loud gasp that Seonghwa lets out against his forehead, feels the warm ropes of cum landing all over his chest and belly. Some needy part of him is sad that it’s not inside of him but he is so content to lay here, watching Seonghwa's beautiful face contort itself in pleasure as he rides out the last waves of his orgasm.
Then it hits him. He just told Seonghwa that he loves him. He’s about to panic again when Seonghwa shushes him gently.
“Don’t be scared, I love you too.” It’s whispered softly, like it’s a secret, just for the two of them, forever. Hongjoong’s heart soars.
“You do?” Hongjoong twists his head to the side, with big confused eyes.
“I’ve been in love with you for so long. Everyone knows besides you apparently.” Seonghwa giggles as he kisses his forehead.
Hongjoong feels his heart explode in his chest.
“So that means we wasted so much time, because I’ve been in love with you since forever.” His voice still sounds a bit out of it, still in that floaty headspace.
Seonghwa laughs again. It makes Hongjoong smile brightly.
“Guess we have to catch up on lost time now,” Seonghwa sighs happily, rubbing his nose softly all over Hongjoong’s face, making him squirms and giggle.
That’s when they remember they are covered in dried cum and squirt. Hongjoong’s cheeks heat, and Seonghwa coos.
“Let’s get cleaned up baby, are you okay for a shower right now?” Seonghwa says while peppering kisses all over his face. It seems like Seonghwa will never stop touching and pampering him now that he knows he can.
Hongjoong thinks about it for a moment. His legs feel like jello but all the dried substances on him are starting to feel bothersome.
He sighs in frustration. Seonghwa just smiles at him, a smile so full of love Hongjoong's heart stutters wildly in his chest.
“I can carry you there, if you want.” Seonghwa sounds a little unsure.
Hongjoong just beams at him “Yes, please,” he whispers.
Seonghwa’s smile gets even wider somehow. Hongjoong is so in love he can’t help stealing a kiss.
Seonghwa carries him bridal style to the bathroom, and the display of strength makes Hongjoong’s cheeks heat up again. He finally takes off his socks, the sight of them making Seonghwa giggle.
They wash each other’s bodies and hair softly and lovingly. They kiss a lot too. Hongjoong feels like he’s on cloud nine.
After their long shower, they change the sheets of Hongjoong’s bed, working together in tandem. It’s so domestic, Hongjoong feels euphoric.
They fall asleep wrapped around each other with soft kisses and even softer words whispered between their lips.
