VULNERABLE @worderfullyours - Tumblr Blog

2025

This year is so intensed. From messed up family, to end of contract, and all liars go to hell. January palang ang dami nang disappointments sa family, work and relationship.

Why God?

All those hurtful words I've never imagined I will receive. Whats next?

Sana sa next life ko, I'll be wiser. I'll have more courage to face anything.

nag throwback ako ng mga post ko dito, and I found some post about future husband which is very consistent naman noong dalaga pa ako every time na disappointment ako sa life and heartbroken ako or any events infairness naman na updated si future husband. So sya yung naging comfort habit ko noon.

Looking forward, so eto na nga, to connect in my reality. It was all messed up. Did not expect it will turn out this way, sobrang layo to my expectations as in. Why did I let this happened ba? It all started with a not so serious relationship. And ito na nga ending wala na akong magawa. I was messed up. Di ako nag salita kaya nag kaganito na. its all messed up. I wish I could turn back time.

Wag na tayong maglokohan pa. Matagal na tayong sira.

its so good to be back here, where I feel safer to share everything. My rants, my dramas and everything na di ko kaya ishare sa mga peole around me. I am afraid to be judged kasi, sabihan ng maarte at kung ano pa. Im tired of everything na lang.

It’s so sad na kailangan pa makita sa ibang tao ang worth mo than the person who you are with right now. I wish you should have appreciate me. You should been proud of me, acknowledged me. You should have been seen my insta dm’s. You should have been listened to my rants. You should have been been understand me. You should have been let me feel loved. 😭😭

Bakit puro sama na lang ng loob yung natatanggap ko. Wala na bang pag ibig?

Karaniwang gabi lang. Nag request ang asawa ko na ipag luto ko daw sya ng itlog sa umaga para agahan nya bago pumasok.

Next morning tinanong ko sya kung gusto nya ng itlog sa agahan. Hindi na raw at wag na daw ako mag abala. Matulog na lang daw ulit ako.

Habang nasa inuman kami, sinabihan nya ako na hindi ko na raw sya kailangan pang tanungin, mag luto na lang daw ako.

Kinaumagahan, inagahan ko ang gising ko dahil ipag luluto ko sya na nirerequest nyang itlog na maraming sibuyas.

Matapos kong mag luto sinabihan nya ako kung bakit ako nag abala pa. Inaya ko syang kumain, nag timpla na rin ako ng kape at nag toast ng tinapay. Inaya ko syang kumain, gusto kong maiyak sa sagot nya. Wala daw syang gana kumain.

Kahit isang subo man lang kahit na wala syang gana. Kahit na iaappreciate lang nya yung effort ko gumising ng maaga at ipaghain sya. Naiiyak ako sa loob look ko. Pinipigilan ko lang pero nasaktan ako.

Sinabihan ko sya, na nag request sya na ipag luto ko sya tapos di man lang sya kumain kahit tikim man lang.

Magpalit na kaya ako ng asawa? 😭

💔💔💔

So this is not anxiety. This is depression.

Story time.

I have a husband! Yey! Yeah, but I don’t think we love each other so deeply. Like you know, we’re married but we have our own life na parang forever mag MU? Meron kaming sari-sariling mundo. Di ko alam kung ano ginagawa nya sa buhay as in sa everyday life tuwing gabi lang kami nag kakachat and much worse is minsan hindi pa. Take note sa isang linggo or even a month di kami nag vivideo call. I dont know his soc med acct don’t even bother to ask kasi once na kami nag away and idc na lang. All we have is the trust? Not really din kasi somehow nag dodoubt na rin ako kung may iba sya, ganon din sya minsan. If ever sino ba namang aamin kapag tinanong diba? In fact we really don’t care naman talaga. Kapag sinabi kong wala at ganon din sya so yun na, the end na.

Me as a WIFE. Syempre gusto ko mafeel yung WIFE feels talaga. Lagi akong galit kasi we never talk. One time nag rant ako about that and guess what. Okay lang daw na wala akong chat even the whole day kasi wala naman din daw syang masasabi! Like hell! What kind of marriage is this??! And tbh, there’s guy, I enjoyed talking to him, more like fling? I felt guilty syempre married din sya. But at some point, really nag eenjoy ako kausap sya, wala ding kwenta minsan pero the conversation never stops. I realized kung gusto talaga ako makausap ng asawa ko kahit walang kwenta gagawa kami ng paraan para may mapag usapan. Diba? Am I wrong? Kasi ako nag iinitiate ako lagi nang pag uusapan pero napapagod na ako sa mga dead answers nya! And then this guy, masayang kausap diba? Pero pag 6pm na wala na, di na sya nag chachat kasi syempre kasama nya pamilya nya hahaha para akong tanga! Haha and Nooooo naisip ko para akong kabet na pang umaga lang tapos waiting ganon! Very no! Pero pag nag chachat sya nirereplyan ko sin naman hahaha pero di na madalas hahaha I have to stop our friendship charot.