Leave in my Heart

Hello, my name is Blaine Anderson. Father of one. Actor & writer, both song and play. ((RP ACCOUNT))

[wordsfailblaine]

[Text || Andercuz ]

Jax: I don't know. I like my music more I think. I gotta start working on new stuff.

Blaine: I guess everyone has their own thing

[wordsfailblaine]

[Text || Andercuz ]

Jax: It's just been a lot. Really fun. But a lot.

Blaine: Yeah, and even though you're going to love being with Grayson again, I know that you're going to miss it. Maybe you'll go back on the stage acting after a break?

[boyinthestreet]

and i keep hoping they won’t see how much i have

[wordsfailblaine]

[Text || Andercuz ]

Jax: It is but then I'll be able to get back on a normal schedule with Grayson.

Blaine: Yeah, I'm not blaming you at all.

[wordsfailblaine]

[Text || Andercuz ]

Jax: I was going through August but I got it shortened to where my last show is the 31st of this month.

Blaine: Oh wow, that's real soon.

[wordsfailblaine]

Nothing too touristy. That’s all the stuff my parents want to see. Maybe any cool record stores, or music stores? Also if you know any non-chain pizza recommendations that would be awesome.

I’ll send you the address to a pizza place by my place, we can start from there if you want.

[wordsfailblaine]

[Text || Andercuz ]

Jax: I'm doing good. Just winding down on my Broadway run.

Blaine: When's the last day for that?

[wordsfailblaine]

[Text || Andercuz ]

Jax: I'm glad you finally said something though, B. And it's okay that it was thrown on me. I'd rather you throw it on someone you trust than someone you don't.

Blaine: Enough about me, I really don't want to linger on this because I'm just going to continue feeling awful.

Blaine: How are you? I don't even ask you that enough.

[wordsfailblaine]

[Text || Andercuz ]

Jax: Yes which is a step in the right direction. But i'm not a professional.

Blaine: I know.

Blaine: Thanks but sorry I feel like I just threw all of that on you. I just felt so panicked.

[wordsfailblaine]

[Text || Andercuz ]

Jax: Promise me you'll call someone, B.

Blaine: I mean, I messaged you right?

[wordsfailblaine]

Yes definitely. Is there somewhere you’d like to meet? Like a landmark or anything? The subway system is still new to me. Kinda.

I guess it depends on what you’re interested in seeing.

[wordsfailblaine]

[Text || Andercuz ]

Jax: Because I'm worried about you.

Jax: Yes but if you still feel even a little off, please call someone. Please.

Blaine: I know.

[wordsfailblaine]

Of course. If you change your mind just let me know.

Will do. Thanks. Guess I’ll see you tomorrow?

[wordsfailblaine]

[Text || Andercuz ]

Jax: Apology accepted.

Jax: Will you please set something up with someone for as soon as they can get you in? I'll watch Serena for you if it's while you have her.

Blaine: Youre still pushy even with my apology dont let it get to your head

Blaine: Can i try and sleep first. Dont know how much that'd work though

[wordsfailblaine]

[Text || Andercuz ]

Jax: All the more reason to talk to someone about it, Blaine.

Jax: I did notice but last time I tried to say something or help you got upset with me and we fought. So I didn't bring it up.

Jax: Youve been worrying me for a while and I just want you to get help.

Blaine: I'm sorry i m so sorry that i actd like that

[wordsfailblaine]

[Text || Andercuz ]

Jax: First, thank you for telling me all of this.

Jax: Second, You are not a shit father, Blaine. Not in the slightest. So you looked away for a quick second, every kid runs off when a parent looks away. It doesn't make you a shit father.

Jax: Third, I really think you need to see a professional about all of these things you've been feeling or not feeling. I'm just really glad you've finally realized what I've been seeing all along. I really think it will do you good to just talk with someone about everything. About what's making you numb or nervous or sad. And if they decide to put you on a medication, I really think you should take it because it'll help get you back to the Blaine who's here and present for things.

Blaine: But it's everything and not just the break up either i know everyone thinks that but thats not just it.

Blaine: I keep thinking about how even when i was younger things were just not right. I talked about it to my old therapist when i took that break from nyada and it's still in my head.

Blaine: I'm just so tired and scared and part of me just doesn't even want to do anything at this point.

Blaine: I'm sorry for throwing this on your

Blaine: You*

Blaine: Serena just fell asleep and I realized that I hardly even remember what happened today and that used to never happen not with her.

Blaine: You had to have noticed something wqas up when you visited you had tyo have

Blaine: Well you even said it

[wordsfailblaine]

[Text || Andercuz ]

Blaine: I havne't slept in almost five days and that's after sometimes oversleeping until Trini scratched me awake

Blaine: I don't eat as much as I should because I just forget because I spend all day over thinking or just lost

Blaine: I have felt almost completely numb in months and it's only been getting worse. And if I don't feel empty I just feel angry or jittery or sad Really really sad but then I can't let it out my body physically won't let me until I explode and can't take it anymore

Blaine: Today I felt so sick because ive been so hyperaware of serena because i don't want anything to happen because that's another thing it all just got so much worse after the zoo because i looked away for a second and she ran off

Blaine: she could have been hurt because of me because i was a shit father because i ruin everything

Blaine: i'm so tired

Blaine: Sorry