This reminded me that I had been meaning to post about how LARP* has, for me, been a hugely instructive thing, here and there, in terms of helping me to really understand mindsets different from my own. Obviously it’s not a substitute for knowledge gained in other ways and directly from listening to and observing people with the mindset, but it does something for me that nothing else does in terms of illuminating how that mindset feels from the inside.
*yes, I see Amentumblr as having been a kind of LARP! For the time that you’re playing the game, you’re physically doing what your character would be doing, i.e. posting and reading social media!
I described it somewhat flippantly in the linked post, but I do think that Ruby helped me to understand (and recognise in myself, here and there) the ways that the trauma and fear and everything else that comes from being truly in need of others’ support, political allegiance and sympathy can lead you to act in a manner that (unfairly! you’re really suffering here! but understandably! from the point of view of the people you’re being horrible to!) drives people away.
You’re right (well, mostly, and where you’re wrong you don’t have the power for it to be a material problem), and your survival is at stake. You have every reason, not only to distrust every viewpoint one iota less radical than your own, but to consider them an affront to your dignity.
If the world has taken everything but your pride, there’s a sense of rightness to saying fuck it, if I go down I’m going down swinging, they’re not taking that from me as well.
This is a slight seaway but did Ruby’s plotline ever get an end. I remember you had to duck out for IRL reasons but I don’t remember if it got wrapped up.
Fist’s kinda did, but the mix of limits of the amentumblr format and not finalizing somethings I had tentatively approved by Alicorn means there are lots of things that were sort of in limbo like if he was the source of the never explained guns to reds shipment and a lot of behind the scenes family drama. I have a Glowfic thread that touches on the latter, but its not the main focus and is currently stalled on the other author.
It never got wrapped up in the game, but I always figured that if I had to drop playing her, one could assume the worst from her disappearance and not necessarily be wrong
plus, I was kinda laying groundwork from the beginning for the not-revealed country that she is from to turn out to be one of the ones that abruptly slaughters reds later in the plotline around the time everything starts to change.
I entertained the notion of versions where she makes some kind of break for it, but I don’t think she was psychologically capable of living in the closest real thing to the ‘Red Island’ she imagined. Can you imagine her reaction to the idea of having to go along with the ‘noble lie’ - or concession - of permanent Decontamination?
This seems like as good a time as any to do an ending and post mortem for my amenta character @worstblueintheworld :
General chronology:
The original idea I had came out of doing replies to people in the character of a more moderate Blue. Playing with the idea of having a more enlightened attitude than some, but while still speaking from a position of privilege and being slightly clueless.
Had a lot of fun RPing the war, trading propaganda back and forth.
The biggest plot event that happened with him wasn’t particularly planned, I had made a post jokingly referencing people arrested for “tax evasion”. Which caused a lot of reaction and nearly broke the timeline by having information become public that shouldn’t be. Which was just a massive fuck up on my part that could have derailed the whole rp for everyone and I feel bad about. ( @luminousalicorn was very understanding and did a great job getting everyone to calm down and fixing the damage I’d done to the universe.)
The in universe consequence was that worstie got fired from his job/sinecure as a minor bureaucrat and went into an alcoholic and depressive spiral. Which I wouldn’t describe as “fun” but was an interesting character thing to play with and let me bring in things about his family, including a screenshotted text conversation with his sister.
I liked the idea of exploring what happens to someone who is very privileged when they are cast down to a position that is still objectively good, but relatively worse off, along with a lot of social disapproval and shame.
Couple of background details I hinted at that were left unspecified:
There was canonically some degree of rioting and disorder after his post went public. I thought it would be interesting if reds had died in that, or at least he had reason to suspect they had. Contributing to his feelings of guilt and need to atone by doing good things for reds, and later Miolee. Ultimately I didn’t go into it because I felt it was too heavy and I couldn’t find a good way to handle it
Also left ambiguous is how much he was actually involved in the red rights movement on the blue side, vs just being a loudmouth. My idea was that he was involved at a very low level at the time of the post, and then they all shunned him and cut ties to avoid suspicion spreading. I liked the idea that he totally understood why they would do that, and why it was the objectively best thing to do, but still felt betrayed.
Later in the plot after he’s spent a few years as a social pariah and recovering from his stint with alcoholism I hinted that he’s gotten more involved again, in some form that involved international cooperation. But never specified, and him becoming a very junior embassy official in Miolee seemed a nice way to go with that. Giving him a way to do good in a lower profile way. Maybe with some behind the scenes involvement.
Epilogue
I never did an epilogue, but I had half planned one out in the form of an obituary in a Mioleen paper several decades later:
He continues in the embassy and eventually becomes ambassador (in part because its still not a very glamorous position, and he had built up trust with the reds).
After retiring he writes a series of academic books on international relations and approaches to trade negotiations with newly established nation states. Which are well received in the academic community, but sell few copies. And also a more popular book about the history of the red rights movement in Voa, which is much more popular and briefly becomes a best seller in Voa and Miolee. But reviewers note that he himself is absent from the narrative, other than a brief mention of tensions caused by the post. (Again playing into the ambiguity over how big his role actually was)
I never decided if he found a partner and had kids, I thought it would be nice if he’d married an ex-red politician, but also like the idea of him never settling down in keeping with his slightly outcast and atoner traits.
Fun background facts for anyone who has read this far:
A lot of it was written while I was living and working in China.
So to some degree was processing and exploring my own feelings of discomfort being in an incredibly privileged position (as a white foreigner with comparably high wages). Especially in the things about feeling awkward about people cleaning up after him, even though they are paid well and happy to do it.
All of the weird pizza toppings I mentioned (which became a running joke about Voa) were actual things that you could get in pizza restaurants in China, even the Durian pizza.
The Voan names I occasionally used like “Northern Province Ice Beer” were literally translated Chinese names, or close approximations. I enjoyed playing with the whole idea of the machine translation and occasional over literalness. I slipped in a few badly translated sayings and aphorisms as well.
I’m also a bit of a politics geek (though not actually involved in it directly to anywhere near the degree the character is) so it was fun playing with the thought experiment of different political systems.
One time when worstie complained about having gone for a very pleasant drink with an opposite sex friend one on one and being unsure whether it was a date or not (”totally happy either way but would just like to be clear….”) was written upon myself coming home from exactly that experience. I’m still not sure to this day.
Finding myself oddly emotional writing all this. The Amenta RP was something I greatly enjoyed, at a time in my life when some other things weren’t doing too great, and I really got invested in the characters and the people behind them. Hope you are all well wherever you are
First post on here in years, but thought I’d share this here in case there’s anyone who still follows this blog but not my main one.
