× . castiel .
❛ DON’T BE TOO HARD ON YOURSELF …. you couldn’t have stopped it. ❜ / canon dialogue starter for @wraethd
❝ BUT COULDN’T I HAVE ? why give me power , why make me this . . . thing . . . if i can’t stop something so small ? ❞

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@wraethd
× . castiel .
❛ DON’T BE TOO HARD ON YOURSELF …. you couldn’t have stopped it. ❜ / canon dialogue starter for @wraethd
❝ BUT COULDN’T I HAVE ? why give me power , why make me this . . . thing . . . if i can’t stop something so small ? ❞
× . rabbit .
❛ BABY GIRL , you have officially gotten on my last nerve . ❜ / @wraethd liked .
❝ AND YOU had better abandon that nasty attitude of yours , before i staple your mouth shut ---- baby boy . ❞
× . march .
TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE ! there are terrors beneath his skin ; a sewed - up personage of friendliness and cordial necessities . in the night he dreams of killing ——— of maiming flesh and devouring blood . he is evil incarnate , satan in pinstripes , his smile ferocious and overwhelming . his skull splits in two at the mouth ; white teeth bared like a shark , his eyes shining as if she is something to play with ——— a new toy , a new devotion in his book of deadly hymnals . ❛❛ my name is march , ❜❜ he says , dulcet tones like crooning sugar , melted and drizzled over something fine , yet rotten at its core . he pours a drink for himself out of the bottle of whiskey that liz has left ——— three fingers with no ice ——— and as he raises his pinky to taste the scalding liquor , the bitter flavor of life on the tongue , of what it feels like to hide in the shadows , he inclines his head , smile still fixed upon waxy features . ❛❛ katherine , ❜❜ he rolls the name around on his tongue , spitting it out with a hint of friendliness . ❛❛ what a beautiful name , ❜❜ he drinks , he hisses , as if holy water has gone down his throat into death and decay and rot , rot , rot ! evil shifts in his seat , his long fingers wrapped around the glass .
MARY , MARY , GIVE ME STRENGTH . but there is no help her , no salvation to be found within these bloodied walls . if this is a church , a cathedral , may the saints hear the screams of the divine as their throats are slit * a last prayer , a confessional , will you be the priest to which they give their last choking hymnal ? you’ll drink the crimson from their lips the same as you drink wine IF YOU ARE THE DEVIL THEN I AM MARY MAGDALENE we are colliding forces both consumed by the decay of our own innards ( i’ll pull free my lungs , my heart , my intestines ; play them like the strings of a harp as we dance together ) if inhibitions are a sin then we are all going to hell , poised is she upon her own upturned palm i am blessed , i am divine , i am angel’s shredded wings / i am descending like spears of light / i am the devotion and the devouring CONSUME THINE BODY & THINE BLOOD & BE REBORN FROM ME would you dare to kiss me , would you dare to taste the inside of my mouth ? * it is honey , it is wine , it is the mouth of lightening and rot . i died and was resurrected by a god with a thousand eyes / a thousand mouths come inside of me and i will show you how to become a living god once again ❝ sankts , do you plan on drinking the entire bar mister march ? ❞ devoured & devouring , lips part with equal amusement / devotion . look within , see a wolves maw dripping onyx , fingertips rest against his hand . an invitation and a warning , measured only by her own sacraments & sins . I FLIRT WITH DEATH , WILL DEATH NOW FLIRT WITH LIFE IN RETURN ? ❝ tell me , how well can you hold your inhibitions ? ❞
❤ . marius .
CREATURES OF THE NIGHT, they prey on the moon / make the stars their drug of choice. her bed, his bed, their bed — the semantics don’t matter ! they’ve grown accustomed to having dominion over bullets & gunpowder but not much else — is it really a surprise they’ve invested so much into each other ? they live in a world where nothing is their OWN !! but she . . . oh, she’s determined to change that, her head nestled against his breast, her hand protective over his heart.
❝ what do i look like ? ❞ he can’t refrain from laughing, bones at one with the mattress / skin at one with 𝐇𝐄𝐑. it isn’t the most outrageous question posed. ❝ oh, liebling, i don’t want you to be disappointed. ❞
𝙿𝙻𝙾𝚃𝚃𝙴𝙳 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝙵𝙾𝚁 𝙺𝙰𝚃𝚈𝙰 / @wraethd !
YOU ARE A WALKING TALKING CORPSE . death has made itself a home in her mouth , it is under her tongue / between her teeth / nestled in her cheeks . a persistent feeling of want , of need , of decay & rot ( i am ruins and ruination , look into my eyes and see how the world itself collapses and slips between my fingers . how do you hold me now , hold me still , keep me from turning into a supernova ) * i have always wanted to scatter my guts across the universe , to turn my bone marrow into new planets and implant new stars where the hallows of my empty eye sockets remain . i am a cataclysmic ending , a universe wide gentle death so why is it i want to remain whole for you , only you , ever you my love ❝ disappointed ? do you think so little of me , that i would be anything less than helplessly in love with you just because you don’t look how i’ve imagined ? ❞ she finds a home within him , climbs into the places between his ribs & wraps herself up within the valves of his heart . a comfort , a divine love , you are every missing part of me YOU ARE WHAT I HAVE BEEN MISSING ALL MY LIFE ❝ my . . . luchik , nothing could disappoint me . ❞
🎧 / katya + dom
SICK OF LOSING SOULMATES / DODIE
what a strange being you are, god knows where i would be / if you hadn’t found me, sitting all alone in the dark / a dumb screenshot of youth / watch how a cold broken teen / will desperately lean on a superglued human of proof / what the hell would i be, without you / brave face talk so lightly, hide the truth / ‘cause i’m sick of losing soulmates, so where do we begin / i can finally see, you’re as fucked up as me / so how do we win? / we will grow old as friends, / i’ve promised that before so what’s one more / in our grey-haired circle, waiting for the end? / time and hearts will wear us thin / so which path will you take, 'cause we both know a break / does exactly what it says on the tin
THE ONLY EXCEPTION / PARAMORE
maybe i know, somewhere / deep in my soul / that love never lasts / and we’ve got to find other ways / to make it alone / but keep a straight face / and i’ve always lived like this / keeping a comfortable, distance / and up until now / i had sworn to myself that i’m content / with loneliness / because none of it was ever worth the risk / but, you are, the only exception
TO BUILD A HOME / THE CINEMATIC ORCHESTRA
this is a place where i don’t feel alone / this is a place where i feel at home / 'cause, i built a home / for you / for me / until it disappeared / from me / from you / and now, it’s time to leave and turn to dust / by the cracks of the skin i climbed to the top / i climbed the tree to see the world / when the gusts came around to blow me down / i held on as tightly as you held onto me
EARNED IT / THE WEEKND
i’m so used to being used / so i love when you call unexpected / c'cause i hate when the moment’s expected / so i'ma care for you / 'cause girl you’re perfect / you’re always worth it / and you deserve it / the way you work it / 'cause girl you earned it, yeah / you know our love would be tragic / so you don’t pay it, don’t pay it no mind / we live with no lies / and you’re my favourite kind of night
BONUS SONGS :BITE / TROYE SIVAN
kiss me on the mouth and set me free / sing me like a choir / i can be the subject of your dreams / your sickening desire / don’t you wanna see a man up close / a phoenix in the fire / so kiss me on the mouth and set me free / but please, don’t bite / you can coax the cold right out of me / drape me in your warmth / the rapture in the dark puts me at ease / the blind eye of the storm / let’s go for a walk down easy street / where you can be reborn
OBLIVION / BASTILLE
when you fall asleep / with your head upon my shoulder / when you’re in my arms / but you’ve gone somewhere deeper / are you going to age with grace? / are you going to age without mistakes? / when you play it hard / and i try to follow you there / it’s not about control / but i turn back when i see where you go
🎧
GENGHIS KHAN / MIIKE SNOW
and the lights, they glow / like i just lost the world war / and the scene slips away / to the evenness i fake / it’s a cheat somewhere / ‘cause i don’t really want you, girl / but you can’t be free / 'cause i’m selfish, i’m obscene / i get a little bit genghis khan / i don’t want you to get it on / with nobody else but me
HOUSE OF WOLVES / MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE
i said, hey hallelujah / well come on, sing the praise / let the spirit come on through ya / we got innocence today / well i think i’m gonna burn in hell / everybody burn the house down / she says well, what i wanna say / tell me i’m an angel / take this to my grave / tell me i’m a bad man / well a ring around the ambulance / like i never gave a care / i said, choir boys surround you / it’s a compliment, i swear / and i said, ashes to ashes, we all fall down / i wanna hear you sing the praise / we got innocence for days
TEAR YOU APART / SHE WANTS REVENGE
it’s only just a crush, it’ll go away / it’s just like all the others it’ll go away / or maybe this is danger and he just don’t know / you pray it all away but it continues to grow / i want to hold you close / skin pressed against me tight / lie still, and close your eyes girl / so lovely, it feels so right / i want to hold you close / soft breasts, beating heart / as i whisper in your ear / i want to fucking tear you apart
DEATH OF A BACHELOR / PANIC AT THE DISCO
i’m cutting my mind off / feels like my heart is going to burst / alone at a table for two and i just wanna be served / and when you think of me am i the best you’ve ever had? / share one more drink with me, smile even though you’re sad / i’m walking the long road, watching the sky fall / the lace in your dress tingles my neck, how do i live? / letting the water fall / the death of a bachelor / seems so fitting for / happily ever after / how could i ask for more?
🎧 / katya + marius
ADDICTED / SAVING ABEL
i’m so addicted to all the things you do / when you’re rollin’ round with me in between the sheets / oh the sounds you make, with every breath you take / it’s unlike anything, when you’re lovin’ me / and i know when it’s gettin’ rough / all the times we spend tryin’ to make this love / somethin’ better than just makin’ up again
THE LAST OF THE REAL ONES / FALL OUT BOY
i was just an only child of the universe / and then i found you / you are the sun and i am just the planets / spinning around you / you were too good to be true / gold plated / but what’s inside you / i know this whole damn city thinks it needs you / but not as much as i do
WICKED GAMES / THE WEEKND COVER
bring your love, baby, i could bring my shame / bring the drugs, baby, i could bring my pain / i got my heart right here / i got my scars right here / just let me motherfucking love you / listen, ma, i’ll give you all i got / get me off of this, i need confidence in myself / listen, ma, i’ll give you all of me / so tell me you love me / (only for tonight, only for the night) / even though you don’t love me / just tell me you love me / (i’ll give you what i need, i’ll give you all of me)
ROCKET MAN / NINJA SEX PARTY COVER
she packed my bags last night pre-flight / zero hour nine a.m. / and i’m gonna be high as a kite by then / i miss the earth so much i miss my wife / it’s lonely out in space / on such a timeless flight / and i think it’s gonna be a long long time / ‘till touch down brings me round again to find / i’m not the man they think i am at home / oh no no no i’m a rocket man / rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone
BONUS SONG : LET’S HURT TONIGHT / ONEREPUBLIC
when, when you came home / worn to the bones / i told myself, “this could be rough” / oh, i know you’re feeling insane / tell me something that i can explain, oh / i’ll hit the lights and you lock the doors / tell me all of the things that you couldn’t before / don’t walk away, don’t roll your eyes / they say love is pain, well darling, let’s hurt tonight
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SECULAR IS SHE ! of universes untold & prophecies hidden behind the tongue of eden’s serpent . the heart can only take so much scorn , it’s weight - bearing capacity is so little in this world of iron beams and indestructible words ( your heart will cave in soon , don’t worry . each valve will self destruct when i smile at you . your aorta will collapse under the toe of my boot ) set in stone / a funeral’s procession / she hides among grieving with white veils and whiter eyes * what a vagrant angel ! what a visage of decay ! conquest with tilted crowns & fingertips blackened with grave-dirt ! look at me and what do you see ? angels wings adorn the eyes of the devil / she wears a virtuous white ! pretend as though the gloves on her hands can hide the blood that stains them ---- no ----- she knows better than to wish herself innocent once more . she makes no mockery of them , the divine that howl and scream like the winds of hurricanes . saints prayers coat the inside of her lips like honey , it bleeds from her mouth like pomegranate wine ( i am sickly sweet , i taste of iron sins and bloodletting over a dying man’s last confessional . i will dare you , i will taunt you , i will be the reaper who comes to you on your death bed . ) TELL ME : ARE YOU AFRAID OF ME YET ? kiss the barrel of guns , use gunpowder as perfume & flames like lipstick ❝ i didn’t think you would find me here . ❞ / @sepulchritic
“Vivien Leigh and Laurence Olivier are about to do one of the umpteen love scenes in Lady Hamilton. Olivier tickles Vivien’s wrist. She giggles. And cameraman Rudolph Maté shouts, ‘That’s right. Smile. I’m putting a special light on your smile.’ As though she needed it!” – Sheilah Graham
consider : how katya is her hometowns own private folklore . how she’s somehow more creature / being / entity to them than woman . that girl / she rose from the dead . that girl with whited out eyes who saw the face of god and hears angels echoing in her head . how she’s from such a small town– one of those places fueled by the elders / by old religions / by old beliefs . and how hard science tried to explain the divinity from her . but people knew . in her town … people always know . she became some … eldritch being to them ? some fearsome entity , a mouthpiece of heaven itself . and they were furious when she was silent , they wanted a prophet but she wouldn’t give it to them . they probably still tell stories about her . even after she’s long gone . and to think … she was just a girl . she was just a woman . she still is . but everyone was so desperate to rip that out of her and make her a fairy tale . and i was also thinking how … she was a hitman with no sight . imagine how funny that must have been to people ? the woman targeting you is blind – its laughable – you’ll never die ! but they don’t see her on the rooftops . kissing the barrels of guns and whispering the names of saints – and they certainly don’t see it when the angels point her gun with deadly aim . you’re dead before you can laugh .
also , to think about . . . the dissonance between who people think katya is and who she really is . its so prevalent in almost every part of her life . people expect her to be one thing – expect her to act a certain way – but she never does . she’s surprising in the most … brilliant and rash ways . even when she ends up in apex – she refuses to be what anyone expects her to be . they expect her to be skittish almost . to use her rifting powers much more than she actually does . but she’s so volatile and angry – she’s a war-dog / a wildfire . she consumes and destroys without mercy she wants to feel the warmth of life leaving the body between her hands – she wants the blood on her face . she wants to be visceral and unforgiving / shes a goddess in that arena – she doesn’t want them to forget , and it has gotten her in trouble . for sure . she’s not invulnerable . her rashness has almost gotten her killed . she’s stubborn and mean to a fault . but that’s not what people expect from her – is it ? she wants to constantly surprise . that much she will let people know . and she wonders if somehow – the people from that small town know that this is where she is now . she wonders if they remember the silent and poised girl from her youth – she wonders if they flinch when she smiles with blood between her teeth . she hopes so . she hopes they see her and think : death / doom / calamity . the point is – she will never be what you think she is – even as a hitman . she worked with some … very very high profile people . politicians . celebrities . she used the money to buy better tactical gear . better guns . she was never what people thought of her .
HER EYES REFLECT THE MOON LIKE SWIMMING POOLS . like rosemary & thyme haunted by the darkness between the stars / she is somehow frightening and alluring all at once . LOOK INTO MY EYES AND WHAT DO YOU SEE ? it is death , it is calamity , it is the divine collapsing and humanity swallowing their gods like sleeping pills . and so who are we to linger here now ? the old gods are all sleeping / we’ve killed them already , we are seen by the stars alone ---- they preside over us with their silent vigil / do they mourn who we are , or who we used to be ? she turns towards him , THEY ARE THE WITNESSES OF THIS UNION / IT IS UNHOLY BUT IT IS PURE she will appear calloused & careless in his eyes , the cold crowds in against the bareness of her skin and yet she does not flinch ( i spent my whole life in ice , i was swaddled in snow from the moment of my birth . there is no chill that can send shivers down my spine none except for the sound of your voice ) perhaps she appears feral , something closer to a wild animal , with crimson dripping from a gaping maw / it smiles like wolves come home to roosted hens . her voice is a knife stabbing through the air , it demands attention LOOK AT ME / SEE ME / AM I THE WOMAN YOU SEEK ? she stands , her work forgotten for the moment , sightless ---- she stares into the shards of his soul ❝ what , did you think you were the only killer in this relationship ? ❞ / @rippredom
small headcanons list
she wears blacked out glasses constantly when out in public , and will only remove them if comfortable with or around your muse . not only because she’s blind , but because her eyes no longer have an iris or pupil -- they’re pure white , and she would rather not frighten children or deal with a thousand questions -- so she simply wears the glasses
she has a seeing eye dog named masha which is the diminutive for maria , she’s a doberman that was gifted to her by the creators of apex to ‘ help her on the battlefield ‘ but she’s not once brought masha out onto the field for fear of her getting hurt ( plus she knows how to navigate on her own anyways ) & she speaks to her in STRICTLY russian . somewhat for her own comfort , and also to annoy her teammates ( and to keep any of them from speaking to masha )
she was partially through getting her phd in psychology when her accident happened , her goal was to become a child psychologist and work in a school
she secretly loves the hit songs from the 80′s more than anything
as a teenager , she shaved her head in an act of rebellion and adapted a punk-rock esque style ( that she hasn’t really outgrown now that she’s a mercenary ) but in college she started to refine her style to a more sophisticated look
she loved to read , so much so that she considered majoring in literature -- becoming a russian lit professor for a university . the master and margarita , crime and punishment , anna karenina -- those were her favorites . she adored them . but ever since she went blind , clearly she can’t read them . and though she’s learned braille , she dislikes reading that way -- and audio books make her feel like she’s at a disadvantage since that’s taking away another major sense . the point is , she feels as though she lost a big part of her when she lost her ability to just read books
and a reminder that while she can hear the voices of gods and angels and was given the gift to create new universes that she is also still very much mortal and not divine . and that creates such a volatile dissonance & disconnect between her spirit and her body that its nauseating sometimes
reminder that she is still very much capable of being killed and that she’s still human . . . think of the lyrics ’ if the heavens ever did speak - she’s the last true mouthpiece ’ that doesn’t make her divine in any way herself -- she’s still just a woman at war with her own girlhood & godhood . her only proof of divinity is within herself and despite having these powers she doubts its existence still
katya not only has scars from knives & bullets – but also has remaining scars from the fact that she was struck by lightening – * ex 1 / ex 2
‘ that’s all . the rest is confetti . ’
TEMPERED ARE THE STARS OF YORE . encapsulated within hands that drip with the ichor of dying gods / she will breathe in the stardust of universes collapsing and rising anew * it all happens in a fraction of a second , infinity exhales like calamity —- with starshine raining down around them HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ANYTHING MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN THIS VOLATILE ENDING ? they stand together , amongst the wreckage of entire worlds , lost in some senseless reverence & timeless wonder let the world collapse around us , let the universe turn into rain that soaks our clothes , let stars become snowflakes that we try to catch upon our tongues with the last sliver of our childhood tenderness SHE TURNS TOWARDS SOFTER REVELATIONS perhaps there is a time for rest , even god herself may lay her head upon a contempt world , warmed by a sun birthed by her own womb / wrapped up among clouds and left to slumber for one gentled night perhaps the time for rest is here , and now , with lights that burn low to the wick and the thrum of a thousand souls slowly dying around them ❝ what a beautiful story —- tell it again . ❞
‘ i have fallen from a height your mind cannot even imagine. ’
PLEAD THE WOMAN OF INFINITY TO IMAGINE INEVITABILITY . lay before her your wretched & your weary I HAVE DIED AND WAS RESURRECTED . I WAS BORN ANEW IN THE EYES OF MARY draw from her the words of divine , speak unto her skin your sins / your trespasses as though she is the last confessional that stands swallow whole the apple of eden , god’s eyes are blind , he has turned away and the snake crawls into every cracked vertebrae of her spine . feral and untamed is she , a storm e’er brewing beneath the construct of her skin / this war torn visage of grace —- ripped from effervescent lungs LEFT TO DROWN LIKE OPHELIA i am every witch , every woman your tragedy has labeled defiant and ugly in her rage . I AM EVERY WOMAN YOU BURNED , I AM EVERY ONE YOU CALLED INSANE FOR HEARING THE VOICES OF GODS AND ANGELS you don’t recognize the voice of your own salvation , it spills from my lips like rotting sinew / like honey and wine . my body is thine sacrificial bread , consume me and you will know every secret of this universe too bright for your eyes to behold . allow her to draw her nails , crimson —- like blood —- like wine , across the table . AGONIZING / AGONIZING / AGONIZING sightless eyes bury themselves in the rot of your heart , she is a wildfire and you are kindling waiting to be burned . WE ARE ALL STORIES IN THE END , WILL YOU BE A TRAGEDY OR A MEMORY ? breath pushed through her teeth , anamalistic , a hissing reminder of the lightening that drips between her fingertips ❝ would you like to tell me more , then ? more of what i cannot possibly imagine ? ❞ DISMISSAL , REVIVAL , GRACE TORN FROM THE THREADS OF HER SOUL BY HUNGRY HANDS she listens no more to the prayers and pleas of man & rises carelessly , deft ears are filled with the choir of angels screaming revelations ❝ maybe next time , you can tell me what the voice of god sounds like . ❞
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I AM A HAUNTING , NOT A GOD
private independent selective canon divergent WRAITH of APEX LEGENDS loved by roman