Happy Pride 2019 all. I’ve seen a lot of sarcastic “What about straight pride?” comments and I was hoping to shed light on the issue, especially as a former closeted person who made those same comments.
Pride is not about saying, “I have pride in the fact I’m gay/trans/bi/etc.” but rather: “I will not be ashamed of who I am just because I am gay/trans/bi/etc.”
For those that don’t know, Pride is not some big rainbow parade for fun. It started as a riot, called the Stonewall Riots, back in 1969 in New York City. The riot was a response to police targeting LGBT people at Stonewall Inn. Stonewall Inn wasn’t just some hookup spot, but took in a lot of very marginalized folk, such as transgender persons, butch lesbians, feminine gay men, gay prostitutes, homeless teens, and drag queens. Ru Paul’s Drag Race has done a lot to push drag into the mainstream, but it wasn’t always like that (and even today, some gay men refuse to date drag queens).
The arrests weren’t caused by some loudmouth queens threatening police; back in those days in the US (and still today in other countries), being openly gay was against the law in some ways. One example in New York was that bar owners could lose their liquor license if they provided alcohol to openly gay people. Of course, serving openly in the military wasn’t allowed (my Marine Corps service was during Don’t Ask Don’t Tell if anyone has questions), and definitely no marriage equality.
Even today, this is a problem in many countries. LGBT persons can be murdered legally or denied work. Even in the US right now, there are no laws protecting LGBT persons from discrimination at work (except federal employees), nor are they legally protected in healthcare. There are even different laws of consent for heterosexual teens and gay teens. In Korea, where I live, a soldier was put in prison a couple years ago just for trying to go on a date. If he was meeting a woman, no big deal. Instead, he was deliberately setup by others so he could be arrested. Keep in mind: being gay is not illegal in Korea (but gay soldiers cannot serve openly), military service for men is not a choice, and being gay is also not a choice. While everyone else gets to pursue romantic/sexual relationships during their military service, gay soldiers are banned from this basic human experience.
Pride Parades were started as demonstration marches to continue to push for equality. These marches are not “We are better than cisgender heterosexuals” but rather “We are no less than cisgender heterosexuals so give us full rights already.”
You may feel slightly inconvenienced at Pride parades where people kiss openly, as I’ve heard “I don’t care if you’re gay but don’t shove it in our faces.” These people don’t consider how pervasive LGBT erasure is, not just in pop culture but historically. Sometimes literally, in the case of continuing murders of LGBT persons around the globe. If you vote for LGBT rights already, then no one would need Pride marches. If you truly didn’t care, you’d be as fine seeing gay people kiss (in real life or on screen) and interpret no ulterior motives…same as when you see the same display but heterosexual.
I am bisexual. I felt I had to hate and hide for so long. I have no concern for pronouns (unless being used in a sexist way) because I have never “seen myself” as a woman, but just me. I feel “agender” is the term to best encompass this, and I’m happy to know that other people feel this way, too. I had no idea what was “wrong” with me growing up, and that’s part of the push of Pride: “There is *nothing* wrong with that, let’s combat negative stereotypes and a sluggish legal system.”
Please feel free to ask questions 🖤
