Sir Shrew

[teaboot]

Too bad the prophet Cassandra never met Odysseus

[teaboot]

They say if she made a prophecy Nobody would believe her

[edgar-allan-possum]

I’ve gotta say, that is exactly the kind of stupid thing that probably would circumvent a curse.

[elidyce]

Cassandra: YOU ARE ALL GOING TO REGRET THIS SO MUCH YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW. 

Odysseus: Regret it why?

Cassandra: You won’t believe me if I tell you. If I prophecy, nobody believes me. That is my curse.

Odysseus: … I’m Nobody. Fill me in. 

*A couple of months later* 

Odysseus: HELLO PENELOPE, I AM HERE PRECISELY ON TIME AND NOT YEARS LATE incidentally I rescued and adopted a Trojan seer while I was away, she’s great, got me home really fast, Cassandra this is your new mother who’s not going to treat you like shit. 

Penelope: … I’m going to need more details, but okay, sure. 

Cassandra: *in tears* I love you, new family. 

[cipheramnesia]

Cassandra: Penelope, I’ve had another vision.

Penelope, sighs: Go tell your father.

[val-the-bun]

[sankta-wraith]

the original? on my dash?

[billiecauter]

reblog to summon godzilla directly into washington dc

[not100bees]

The thing about Miss Piggy is that she kind of has a Roger Rabbit comedy superpower where she wins nearly any conceivable fight she's in. But unlike other characters of which that's true, like say, Bugs Bunny, who tend to win because they make the opponent play the game with their rules, Miss Piggy wins because the joke is that she can beat the shit out of literally anybody.

[not100bees]

Bugs Bunny beats Thanos by setting up an airport and making him take off the Infinity Gauntlet to go through the metal detector.

Miss Piggy beats Thanos by karate chopping him in the face and sending him flying.

[sufjansjoy]

does anybody know how to get out of bed. or be a better person

[sufjansjoy]

wow

[me----irl]

Reblog if you think the person you reblogged this from deserves to be happy.

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

“i also choose this guy’s dead wife” was easily the #1 funniest thing to ever be written on the internet.

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

you can know the punchline but you can’t stop it from punching you.

[mighty-meerkat]

i do also feel the need to add that phil8248 really liked the joke. he said his wife had always had a dark sense of humour, even about her illness and death, and seeing the joke made him feel like he was laughing with her one last time.

[moonlitstargazer]

[pyrasterran]

Monster March 2021 Part 4: Human Characters of Godzilla

[kaiju-heritage-posts]

Posted December 2nd, 2022

[atomic-crusader]

Seatopians describing Megalon: “He is our Evil GOD who shall rain FIRe and DeATH on the surface! He is a CRUEL and unCAREING monster with a LUST for DesTRUCtion!!!!!111!!!!”

Actual Megalon: Dumbass. Radiates “big baby” energy. Not evil just likes to break stuff and play with the rubble. Does a funny little dance, trips on his own tail, and lands head first into his own Napalm Bomb.

[kaiju-heritage-posts]

Posted January 20th, 2020

[skyrim-forever]

Brynjolf doing his bit with the "Falmer blood" elixir, ugh I know he'd love selling penis enlargement pills and flat tummy tea

[skyrim-forever]

To everyone saying he'd be involved in MLMs

Like look at this

[sixohsixoheightfourtwo]

The Art of the Deal

By wearing this watch you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor

The Fence has published an exposé on Stuart Semple (of Anish Kapoor 'feud' notoriety) which they have been working on for six months.

investigation reveals Semple / his studio / his partner Emily Mann (who's described as acting as his 'enforcer' in his business) :

mishandled £400k grant of public money intended for a public gallery, allowing the money to flow freely between the public project, his own personal studio and personal projects such as Culture Hustle (his online business selling paint etc)

underpaid or failed to pay many of his assistants to the tune of several thousand pounds each.

former assistants have taken him to court and he simply hasn't bothered to show up and he's threatened to sue former assistants who asked for their back pay

repeatedly funds ambitious projects that never see release eg Abode, an 'Adobe-rivalling' suite of creative software (he claims he still intends to release this)

encouraged a cult-like atmosphere at his studio in Bournemouth

was frequently in debt and having to negotiate with bailiffs etc for his debts while at the same time crowdfunding various projects

ran fake social media accounts boosting Semple and his work

The portrait that emerges is one of decades-long scam artistry tbh and someone who's juvenile, manipulative, narcissistic.

The Fence btw is a decent fairly small-circulation quarterly magazine from the UK which specialises in satire, investigative journalism, culture, and fiction. You can read the piece in its entirety if you register (which is free).

a few links:

The Fence's newsletter from April discusses this article & how Semple has tried to muddy the SEO waters

Semple threatened to sue The Fence for publishing this story - many of you are American so here's the relevant UK law on defamation.

& the subreddit r/culturehustle is worth a look to get an idea of just how badly run his paint business is

[prismatic-bell]

Holy fuck.

I had a feeling something was up with him, but like, I assumed it was going to be something slightly sketchy, not...this.

[beowulf22121]

I got some of his paints when he first announced the mirrored paint.

The first thig that put up a solid red flag was the shipping material. It's cool that he has custom boxes for his studio, it looked really neat. Then I opened it and sae things like "Not for bean boy" printed all over the inside of the box.

Between Mirror, hyper pigments, and black 2.0, none of them were as extremely out there as the videos on his site made them seem. The colors are vibrant, the black is dark, and the mirror is shiny. But the level the videos showed them at are not levels I can recreate.

So like, he exaggerated as an advertising scheme. Alright, shame on him.

But reading that... Yeah. I don't expect him to sell anymore stuff.

[vaspider]

Fucking told y'all.

But also, holy shit.

[kaijuyuri]

star wars fans really just make anything up

[byjove]

I’m not Glup Shitto-ing you. He has a sexstache and everything.

[starwarsheritageposts]

star wars heritage post

[tomthanx]

Happy Pride to Biggs Darklighter

[softboyshaven]

Thinking about the Holmes story where a blind girl goes to him and is like "My fiancé is missing and he kept telling me the week leading up to his disappearance that he would always love me and come back for me,were anything to happen so I think he knew he was in trouble and I love him so much and I'm going to wait for him but I'd like to find him faster,ya know?" And Holmes figures out that it was this girl's parents to scam her out of money she was owed from an estate which she gave to them because she was still living at home,which she wouldn't be if she ever married,so her step father PRETENDED TO DATE HER for MONTHS to keep her from ever getting engaged to a real person and when Holmes finds out he confronts this man and this man is like "Well,you caught me! But it wasn't illegal:) so:)" and Holmes is like "No,but it was sickening and cruel and if she had a brother or good male friend he should post you up and whip you but she doesn't." And the man is like "No,she doesn't." And does the Victorian version of sticking his tongue out and Holmes is like "Well,I guess I'll do then!" And HE PULLS OUT HIS HUNTING WHIP.

[darthlenaplant]

Holmes really went:

[getvalentined]

This is what we mean when we say everyone should support people with disabilities

[burnbrighterthanever]

Be the Sherlock Holmes chasing domestic abusers with a riding crop that you wish to see in the world.

[brawltogethernow]

[thememedaddy]

[artsycrapfromsai]

rewatched princess tutu again

✨💕⚔️🎀🐣

[queen-of-crows]

Not trying to victim blame or anything but you’d think with all the times necromancers have tried/succeeded in raising undead armies the people of Tamriel would’ve stopped burying their dead fully armed and equipped for battle.

Like, I know your great grandpa’s sword was A Part Of Him and all but maybe you could bury SuperDeathblade somewhere not right next to SuperDeathbladeMan. Just in case.

[karhs]

oh, what, so he can get his ass kicked when he inevitably gets raised from the dead?? you want to make great grandpa into a loser? a chump?? if his corpse is going to be puppeteered into battle by a sick and twisted sorcerer then by the nine he is going to do it well

[dogpuppy]

[swordseer]