Author of nothing

write, write, always write.

[write-to-stay-me]

Just in case it gets too much for you to bear you can lay your head down and I'll gently stroke your hair you can rest, yell or wail for that, I do not care you're deserving of love even in your worst affair.

[write-to-stay-me]

Sit as we gather 'round this fire and you may share your tale, it's only laughter and s'mores which turn into friendship and ale. You will not know solitude here, but you will take your rest as long as it's needed and you're a welcome guest. Might you stay for long no shadows will chase you away, you might only notice sunsets showing you the way.

[write-to-stay-me]

On that day, I held my whole world on my shoulder, I engraved it into my memory; the last time I would hold her. Through the tears, I stared past the sunshine and the gray, as I remember lowering my love into that cage that day. I held her close hoping it would be over soon, and to help her find her rest, I hummed her a tune. Little beats of a heart quieted away as my little world shattered that day. I never knew how heavy a box could be until I carried it home with its emptiness weighing on me.

[write-to-stay-me]

Somewhere far, deep underground sleeps a soul, safe and sound. It still hears the echoes of the night, it dreams of a memory colored in light, a happening from some eons ago, a time in which no one was wise to know of the catastrophe that would come about, an event that drained all hope throughout. This was a memory full of life, a reminder of a time before the great strife, before the sky filled with firestorms and terrifying, evil, gaseous forms, before all the lives were lost, before survival came at a cost, before all the blight and pain, when there was still someone else to blame. This was a memory, a cherished sight, a world in which all was right, a solace for the long-lost soul, yearning for days when it still felt whole.

[write-to-stay-me]

I wish I was someone whose words held weight, someone whose stories were never cut short and made others wait. I wish I was someone who could be quiet, make a calculated retreat, withhold my truth, while others raised a riot. But instead, I am loud. My words tend to spill like rain too much, too fast, blurting things that never needed saying, especially when I have nothing to gain. In those moments I feel my thoughts slip away, drifting somewhere far, lost beyond the meaning of what I hoped to say. I wish I was versatile with what I wanted to share, instead, I am frozen stuck, with words, I have no luck, and I am bitter at how it feels unfair.

[write-to-stay-me]

The mirror questioned me one day: “do you still notice your scars?” I was taken aback, didn’t expect to be talked to like that. I think I knew the answer, but what could I say? I shrugged it off. I knew they were gone anyway. And you asked me once: “what are those scars?” Back then, I smiled and laughed, told you they were old and had nothing to do with the way I was torn. Over the years I tried to forget what they meant, it took even longer to realize how deep they went.

[write-to-stay-me]

I used to think love was a straight line, a rare, but unwavering kind, something that — if true, could never break, even with time. Now I see it's more like a maze, twisted and knotted, sometimes hanging by a thread, yet still, it works in strange ways. It's scarlet, just like the blood that binds; a mother to child, a fawn to the wild. Guiding the stream in our veins, supplying dreams to our restless minds. It binds the mortal soul to the heart, strange, living—giving everything meaning, tugging, fraying—constantly weaving, persisting, even when falling apart.

[write-to-stay-me]

I wonder how would I react if I knew today was my last day. Would I scream and cry? Or would I sigh in relief and be okay? Would I run from death; jump at the door, live my last moments, forget the reason I was living for? Would I forsake my birth and pride? Would I look up to the sky; curse the future I never got to have— or pray that afterlife isn’t a lie.

[write-to-stay-me]

I was a garden, a fruitful soil, you were a flower, a seed I would spoil, you flourished, day and night and I would bask in your delight. I shielded you from the winds and the cold, you were stunning, my treasure of gold. But while it was only your petals I eyed you slowly became the thorn in my side, it was only after you had overgrown that I realised I could've never known; how wonderful a lie could be, especially the one you'd never expect to see.

[write-to-stay-me]

There's that one girl smile white as a pearl, making your heart twirl. Thinking of her as your better half, desires rising with every laugh, not even realizing; you'd probably kill on her behalf. Voice sweet like berries minty breath it carries, she's got your feelings in a clutch, you never knew you could want someone so much.

[write-to-stay-me]

I'm giving up the fight, my resolve has been torn, I lost all my might and now I can only mourn. Your voice is static; insults creeping in the air, you think I'm dramatic, but I only wanted you to care. I feel like I'm walking on something so thin and as you keep talking I feel the ground giving in. Intentions caught in crossfire with no neutral zone, yet your shots never seem to tire and no sympathy to trace in your tone. We're being robbed of peace upon which silence seems to prey, there are only echoes left of what we were supposed to say.

[write-to-stay-me]

Something must've happened in my days of youth, something so vile which not even time could soothe.

I can’t remember what it was; a person’s face, a certain place? But whatever started this ache it never gave me space. A fragile thing like me could've never won, the harm was already done before the fight had even begun.

[write-to-stay-me]

I wonder what kind of pain birthed this place? What gamble did the gods lose to leave us without a trace? I wonder what became of the meteor that first struck? I wonder what would happen if time got stuck?

And what made the Sun burn with such rage? Does it remember the universe as a cold cage? What part of that void had the nerve to dream, to arrange all the pieces in its grand scheme?

What part of it uttered death? Was it the same one which allows our lungs to take their first breath?

[write-to-stay-me]

Love, you haven’t seen it all, I’ve got a record for show but it’s not what you think at all, sure I’ve gotten crazy but what’s it to you? when all you say is maybe, well maybe I’m drunk, I can’t see straight so don’t take me for a punk, told you once, I’ll tell you again; play this game with me see what happens then, baby, baby, love me like crazy, don’t you dare flinch at the heat, you know that even roses burn beneath the devil’s feet.

[write-to-stay-me]

I'm sorry mom and dad; I can see it's been rough, I still can't find where the blame was at, old as I am now I'm nowhere wise enough. The choices you made can't say I wouldn't do the same, can't promise I'd be better, can't pretend I'd change. I was molded into you from the start a mold I couldn't fit into, and it fell apart, nothing from me was taken away just bits and pieces gone astray. But I've come to see that it isn't so bad, a broken piece here and there a laughter we can all share, judging by how things are; I'd say we've come pretty far.

[write-to-stay-me]

As I lay in bed the thought keeps popping up in my head; when I close my eyes, is this the view one sees when one dies? Do they just float in this abyss, the world around them forever amiss? Am I conscious only to be gone, only to wonder what of me will become? Will my will be taken away, or in this darkness will I endlessly stay?

[write-to-stay-me]

The world was full of wonders once, the grass was green back then and the sky was blue, scraped knees and biting thorns used to be the only pain I knew. They say I used to run like I had two left feet, and trees were so tall back then, somehow, they grew taller still, yet I used to climb every branch before I even reached the age of 10. How did all this turn only into memories? The colors were never this dull before, my knees are full of scars, running isn't as fun, and I can't climb trees anymore.