Everything was so much simpler when I was little. I got up, grudgingly did school, realised it wasn’t so bad, finished school, read books, ate, slept repeated.
Then I grew up, got a job, suddenly people wanted to know this strange introvert and things got complicated.
There are days when the last thing I want to do is work. It takes all my effort to keep the fake smile on my face.
Sometimes I want to tell people to go away. I don’t want to know people. I want to hide away in my room with a book, not go to shows and for coffee.
But how can you say that? People expect me to socialise. It’s not acceptable to hide away.
Is feeling this way making me a bad person?
Does having someone who wants to date me and not liking them the same way back wrong? Should I be trying harder? What do I do? Is it wrong to say, ‘I don’t have time in my life for a relationship?’ ‘Thanks but no thanks,’ ‘sorry but I don’t feel the same way?’
Everything I could say sounds harsh and rude.
As someone who’s naturally instinct is to just agree to something to save an argument, not to have to explain themselves or just try to please everyone in general this situation is hard. I honestly have no idea what to do about it.
Like when did life get so complicated?
