Paris Skylar @pariskylar - Tumblr Blog

Jul 18

this is a filler chapter that is kinda necessary to progress the story.

Pimp Limp and Tearful Nights

Tuesday: September 28, 2021

“bro, i can drive myself to work.” she complained trying to take her keys from Tia

“no you can’t. your leg is in a cast.” Tia held the keys over her head and wandered off towards the guest room Jaz was staying in.

“so what?” she called out, crutching over to the fridge to grab the lunch she made while up late.

last night was eventful to say the least. she spent most of it at the hospital getting diagnosed with a clean break and cast up. then they went back to their place to pack up and go to Reese’s.

he felt so guilty about inadvertently causing her to break her leg, he spent the whole night and some of the early morning apologizing, even with her insistence that it was no one’s fault truly. in his true Reese fashion he paid for the visit and opened up his home to them until her leg was fully healed, not taking no for an answer. claiming it would soothe his conscious to be at her beck and call. and at 4:15 AM they went to their townhome and packed eight weeks worth of everything—more Tia than anyone else. Reese was too busy trying to keep Jaz from going upstairs and further injuring herself and her arguing back, Tia ignored them and stuffed everything in Jaz’s car and forced them back to Reese’s. where no one got as much of an hour of sleep from the prior hysteria.

“the doctor said don’t put any pressure on it.” Tia came in with Jaz’s work bag “now com’n pimp limp.” she joked taking her lunch kit and heading to the garage.

“it’s rude to make fun of the disabled.” she followed her out to Reese’s favorite car—his white Benz.

“you’re a temp.” T opened the door for her.

“ha ha.” she dryly said, struggling to get in the car without putting weight on her right foot.

“back first.” Tia told her from the driver’s side of the car.

“i know.” Jaz lied, turning her back to the door, kinda embarrassed.

both in the car they strapped in and were off to her place of work. on the way they began to reminisce about when they were both in college and Tia had transferred to Simmons their junior year. they both worked at CVS and would take turns driving to work and just took their time joking and enjoying each other’s company, something they haven't done in a while. the only time they really got to hang out was after work when they were at home and dog tired.

after twenty-two minutes of reminiscing and laughing, the car pulled up to the unnecessarily large home. Tia cut the engine, stepping out and grabbed Jaz's bags from the back.

"thanks" Jaz got out and tried grabbing her stuff

“no,” Tia shook her head “i’m taking it in for you.” she made her way towards the home.

”dude, i can handle it.” Jaz turned trying to keep up with her.

”i bet.” she retorted from the first step with a hand out ready to help steady her friend if needed.

Jaz struggled a bit trying to crutch up the steps but she was eventually able to do it with no help. Tia shot her a smug knowing look just getting an eyeroll in response.

”thank you, Tiana.” she said sardonically holding her hand out for her things.

”nope i’m taking it all the way in.”

”ok, now you doing too much.”

”girl, you could barely get in the car or walk up the steps. if i hand you this bag you gon tip over.”

she had no response so she said nothing just leading her into the home and towards the office. taking a deep breath she knocked on the door and was greeted with a come in from the other side. walking in she greeted the duo as usual which they returned with the look of confusion. either from the crutches or the unknown lady standing behind her, maybe both. she went over to her sign in sheet, balanced herself on her left leg and left arm signing in.

“hello, Mr. Harlan.” Tia greeted him

“hi.” he said evenly “do i know you?”

“no, i’m Jazlyn's caretaker.” she said getting a eye roll from Jazlyn “i know she wasn’t gonna tell you this, but the doctor said that she shouldn’t be doing any strenuous work and no walking or driving.”

“ohmygosh.” she sighed straightening up.

it really wasn’t that big of a deal. it’s not like she lost her foot or something it was just a break. she’d be healed up in eight weeks and no one would be able to tell the difference.

“thank you for letting me know.” Harlan nodded.

“of course.” she smiled at him turning back to Jaz “now come show me where to put your lunch.”

“i have to debrief Mr. Thrombey first. grab my iPad.” she shifted her crutches a bit, giving herself better footing.

Tia handed it over, she let her right leg down for—not even—a second, before getting scolded by Tia about not putting any weight on that foot.

“i am at work.” she reminded her, but was met with a look that read i don’t give a fuck

rolling her eyes she lifted her foot back up and went back to work.

“today you have meeting with your accountant at 9:30 AM and a virtual meeting with your Japanese translators at 11:00 AM.” she went over the events of the day.

“well, i was gonna have you to take me to that meeting, but i see that’s not an option.” Harlan said breaking her heart.

this was the first chance she’d get to actually do something at work, something for Harlan, that wasn't last minute or rushed. she just sighed and glared at Tia for telling him the unnecessary (yet very necessary) information the doctor had told them. she knew her anger was dumb and unwarranted and that Tia had her best interest at heart, but gosh was she disappointed.

deflated she lead her out to the kitchen showing her what to put her lunch. when the food was securing placed on the second shelf she turned to her with a mixed look of adoration, pity and sadness; she hated when Tia looked at her like that. Jazlyn knew she wasn't an oak tree, but (in her head) she was far from a dandelion. she was gonna be fine, she always found a way to be.

"i'm fine." she gave her a trying reassuring smile.

"hm" Tia said unconvinced

"i am, now go before you're late."

“ok" she sighed stepping to her placing a kiss on her cheek "be safe."

“you too.” she waved her off.

"you're stuff's in the foyer" she called out followed by the sound of the door shutting behind her.

this was her first time by herself in the past twelve-plus hours and she could finally breathe. every emotion she was suppressing bubbled right at the surface. leaning on the counter she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, reminding herself that she was ok and everything was gonna be alright.

you are Jazlyn Reed. you are impenetrable. you are strong. you are tough.

in the midst of her affirmations the sound of footsteps entered. snapping her eyes open she saw Fran entering.

"hello." she smiled at her.

"hi." she waved before making a swift exit.

she went into the foyer where Tia sat her thing, taking a seat on a chair. she checked her emails, voicemails and text messages--all empty-- and decided to plop her headphones on and spaced out.

after eight hours of doing absolutely nothing and her lunch being interrupted by Marta and Fran pestering her about her injury--which she told the half truth about-- she was in the backseat of Reese's car fading in and out of consciousness.

"you good back there?" Reese asked from the driver's seat.

"mmm." she mumbled trying to nod but was barely able to move.

her entire system was crashed with the night before finally weighing on her and in seconds she was passed out.

yeah and i thought you guys are cool with hanging out with me even though i'm black-

we are

i'm not too sure, everything we do and everywhere we go i'm the only non-white person there.

well why didn't you just say that.

i did and Phineas brushed it off and the guys laughed

even toned arguing woke her from her nap. she groaned slowly peeking her eyes open, only to get a face full of couch.

bullshit!

shh a voice hushed.

she stilled herself feigning sleep to hear the rest of the conversation. after a few beats the conversation resumed.

"it's not" the voice that clearly belonged to Reese spoke "we were at the country club last month and i brought up the fact that there were too many white people there and Phineas said the workers there weren't. what the fuck do i say to that? how the hell do i continue to hang out with someone who sees anyone not white as the help?"

"to be fair we weren't there. i was at my Nana's birthday party." a vividly familiar voice said

"and i was with Walen's family."

"this isn't about you guys!" Reese's voice spiked, shocking her; and her head to snap over to him.

Reese was always cool and level headed and such a people pleaser, which is why they met. they were in the same group therapy due to them both having mental breakdowns. Jaz's caused by stress and anxiety due to grief while Reese's was caused by constant self-neglected due to his obsessive people pleasing. it was rare for Reese to 'put his foot down' but she was proud of him, like all those hours spilling their guts to strangers-turned-associates actually meant something.

"this is about me! and how i feel like an other around people who are supposed to be my best-friends."

Reese was stood looking down at two white men, who were sat on a love seat together, with Tia by his side rubbing his back. looking at the two other occupants she saw an extremely pale--even for fall--man, with dark brown hair that flowed to his back and the virus that seemed to follow her everywhere--Hugh Drysdale. she, off pure instinct, scoffed at the sight of him, slowly sitting up, gaining the attention of the people in the room.

"sorry if i woke you, Jaz" Reese apologized taking a step back from the men he was towering over.

"no, it's fine." she shook her head.

it was obvious he had somethings to get off his chest and she didn't want to be the barricade that stopped him.

"look, Mari-" the stranger spoke

"i hate that name. it's Reese." Reese cut them off.

"look, Reese, you should've told us why you didn't wanna hang out with the guys anymore we would've understood."

"yeah and we can just hangout, just us three." Ransom agreed.

"how's that fair to the rest of the group?" his people pleasing began to ooze out. "i'd rather just remove myself from them and not fuck with the flow of things."

"hell no. you know i only half way tolerate them." Ransom waved that idea off

"plus why the hell would we wanna hangout with them if you, of all people, don't feel comfortable."

Reese visibly untensed and took a few deep breath slowly nodding as the words registered.

"ok."

"so, no more avoiding us, right?" the snowman asked

"yeah." he nodded "sorry i was being sensitiv-"

"dude." they both groaned

"stop with the apologizing. you're valid." Ransom said, surprising her.

i guess he isn't an complete asshole all of the time.

Reese nodded again physically shaking off the nerves.

"um, we're about to order some food if you wanna stay." he offered

an hour and a half later they were sat around the rounded dinner table with some Shanti and a round of Phase 10 going. she was stuck between Reese and Ransom and right across from Tia, who had finished four of her ten phases while everyone else was stuck on their first. Tia being ever the competitor had no qualms with rubbing it in their faces.

"i just need one more card and i get my fifth phase." she grinned pulling a card and discarding another.

"ugh, you're so annoying." Jaz groaned picking up the green three Tia just put out replacing it with a blue two.

"am i annoying you?" she asked bringing her face inches to Jaz's

"you know you are." she furrowed her brows locking eyes with Tiana.

"i don't give a fuck. you ain't gotta like it cause the hood gonna love it." T began rapping in her face "now, watch a young nigga show her ass out in public." she stuck her tongue out licking Jazlyn's lips.

"i fucking hate when you do that." she giggled around her complaint.

and as if the universe didn't want her to have a moment of joy her phone began to ring with the last person she wanted to speak to right now.

my betrothed 💕

she took a deep breath ignoring the call and putting her phone on do not disturb. she could feel Tia looking at her but ignored her finding interest in her playing cards.

she turned her brain off from the game, absentmindedly playing, as her head ran with all the possible reason's he could be calling.

he could be calling to apologize. he could be worried sick about her and spiraling over what happened. he could have been in a car crash and that's the hospital calling. what if he's bleeding out right now?

"dude, you just picked up a yellow 7 and played another yellow 7." the man, who she learned was Lando, said pulling her from her own head.

"um, sorry." she locked back in on the game

"the competence of a lamp post." Ransom mumbled

"the independence of a fetus" Jaz 'mumbled' back

"i am very independent." he argued back at a normal volume.

"with no job or no income, yeah i bet." she scoffed taking a sip from her mango lassi.

"you know what, i think you're jealous. you have to work for the rest of your life while i don't." he fully turned to her

"you're gonna have to live off a trust fund that's gonna eventually run dry then what? no skill. no talent. no experience. you're gonna be in your forties tryna be a camboy."

"letting your sexual fantasies about me out i see."

"you wish."

"no you wish. everytime you say something to me it's about my dick."

"ain't nobody worried about that nasty ass dick you got."

their arguing became an incoherent mess, with both of them overspeaking the other.

"ohmygosh can you two just fuck already?" Reese complained getting objections from both of them. "everytime we talk you have to mention her. just ask her out already."

she furrowed her brows looking at him. why is my name always in his mouth?

Ransom tried to dispute the claim but Lando cut him off adding a claim of his own.

"yeah and you stalks your instagram page alot."

"i don't!" Ransom protest looking at his friends bewildered.

"the amount of time you've been on my couch scrolling on @DontCallMeJasmine." Lando rebutted

she gasped at the mention of her instagram account. color drain from Ransom's face telling her all she needed to know. she grabbed her chain sliding over closer to Reese.

"i don't fucking stalk her page. i looked at it once because she was a suggested account and she has a fucking butterfly or some shit as her profile picture. i just wanted to know if i knew her."

she was sat there feeling a bit creeped out. it was one thing for them to be at each other's neck and argue, because he was truly a dick, but him stalking her made her feel a bit uneasy. the was no logical or comprehensible reason for him to constantly be on her page other than to be a complete weirdo.

"so while y'all are doing y'all little soap opera i just got my fifth phase." Tia laid the cards out dancing.

they collectively whined getting a tongue out in response as Tia began to heel toe. Jaz tried keeping her laugh at bay at the site.

"and don't ever talk to my friend like that again" she paused pointing at Ransom, but soon continued.

she actually did laugh this time and her phone lit up from the table.

my betrothed 💕: ik your pissed, but please call me back.

then another came in

my betrothed 💕: it's late so i get it, but when you feel like talking please call me.

my betrothed 💕: call it's kinda urgent

her body ran cold with the possibilities of what could have happened.

"i have to go make a call." she sat her cards facedown on the table with a shaky hand, grabbing her phone and crutches, and headed to the first story guest room.

as soon as the door closed she dialed him back. half a ring later he answered

“i called you like five time and you didn’t answer.” the sound of his voice sent a familiar shock to her system.

tears brimmed her eyes as everything from the night before replayed in her head. she had done a good job of distracting her brain from the previous events but hearing his voice brought her back to what a mess last night was.

she took a seat on the bed she cooled her anxieties before replying.

“yeah.” she strained out "what's wrong?"

“you still mad at me?” he asked evenly

"what's wrong?" she asked again "you said it was urgent."

"i came to your place to talk to you but no one's here."

"you're at my fucking house?"

"i wanted to talk to you and know if you still mad at me?"

“you broke my leg, what do you think?” she ran her pointer finger along the patterns of the quilt, to keep herself calm.

“technically, i didn’t, your friend pushed me.” he shifted the blame, as he often does.

Shawn could never own up to his mess ups, he always needed someone to pin them on. in medical school for eight years--the professor's have it out for him. don't have a job--it'll be distraction from his schooling. no car--it's illegal to drive without insurance which is just a scam. break your fiancée's leg--he was pushed.

and as sad as Jazlyn knew it was she fell for them everytime. but not this time. hopefully not this time.

the line went quiet.

"look, Sweetness" he called her the nickname only her grandmother used, causing her spine to straighten "i’m sorry, things got way outta hand last night. i should’ve been more calm and talked to you, instead of being argumentative and combative.”

she stayed stiff and silent, mind still frozen from the name she hadn't heard in years.

“you think you could forgive me?”

still in shock she hurried off the phone.

“um, it was nice to talk to you. i need to shower.” she rushed out before hanging up.

what the fuck was that? he--or no one else--called her that since her gran passed, so why the fuck would he choose to do that now? was that intentional? was he trying to fuck with her? guilt trip her?

whatever it was she couldn't wrap her brain around it and she was stuck there staring at the wall trying her hardest to not think about her gran. to not think about their last conversation. to not think about how the last time she seen her she was in a box and looked nothing like herself. to not think about how the last time she seen her family was at her funeral. to not think about how she has been isolating herself from her family. to not think about her mom, dad and brothers.

you are Jazlyn Reed. you are impenetrable. you are strong. you are tough.

she tried fighting all those thoughts but they all came flooding in like a tsunami and the dam behind her eyes broke. she sat there staring at the off-grey wall and let all of the hurt and anguish out. but the longer she cried the pain intensified. it had become difficult to breathe, her chest felt as if it was going to cave in and her eyes hurt to keep in her sockets. she was slumped over clutching the quilt.

you are Jazlyn Reed. you are impenetrable. you are strong. you are tough.

you are Jazlyn Reed. you - you need to breathe

she began to try and use the breathing techniques that Demetri gave her to use but it was too difficult to remember them now. she did then the only thing she could think of.

"TIA!" she called out in pure agony "TIA! TIA, PLEASE!"

two seconds later she was in the room with Reese beside her.

"ohmygosh, what's wrong?" she tried lifting Jaz's head up but her entire body was locked into place. "Jaz. Jazzy. Jaz. i can't help if you don't tell me what's wrong."

"it hurts." were the only words she could form.

"your leg?"

"everything." she sobbed out "i can't breathe."

"yes you can. look, " she sat next to her putting her wrist up to her nose "you can smell this right? you can smell my lotion?"

Jaz desperately tried to smell her but could only get a faint smell of the Baby Magic lotion

"see and you can feel this." she ran her hand in circular motions on her back "and the blanket in your hands." slowly the feels of the fabric in her clutches became noticeable to her.

"and you can see three black things in the room." her blurred eyes darted around finding the black lamp, her black shoes and a black charging cord--she nodded back.

"and you can hear four voices." she heard Tia

"hi, Jaz." she heard Reese

there was a brief moment of silence and a bit of rustling.

"hello, Jazlyn." a newly familiar voice said.

"hi, Jasm- Jazlyn."

she nodded.

"ok now your breathing."

she realized she could actually get air in her lungs.

"and now you can take five big breaths. one, two, three. hold."

she tried around the sobs that were still escaping her.

"your doing good. now release. so good. four more."

they did the breathing for four more rounds and she slowly began to feel grounded.

"ok, ok." she pulled Jaz into her side, coddling her.

"um, hey, if it's cool can you guys come by tomorrow." she heard Reese from the door, but she was focused on Tia's hand running up and down her back.

they were in that position for eight minutes before she began to feel bad for holding Tia hostage. she sat up straight pulling her left leg under her. they sat next to each other not saying a word the only sounds filling the room was Jaz's light sniffling.

"you ready to talk about it." Tia gently approached the conversation.

"um, Shawn called." tears welled up again "i called back and he apologized but he called me-" she swallowed down the emotions

"he called me Sweetness and-"

"what the fuck?" Tia cut in "are you ok?

"i don't know- i just kept thinking about my granny and my mama and my daddy and i kinda broke down."

"understandable." she grabbed her hand.

"fuck." she began sobbing again.

"i know." Tia laid her down letting her head rest in her lap.

she laid there, tears streaming down her face and images of her grandmother and parent's flashing in her head. she could feel her lungs tightening again. Tia's hand was immediately on her arm and her voice reminded her to breathe.

she loves Tia, but sometime she feels like Tia loves her more. it often feels like she's burdening Tia with her problems. without Tia she would cease to exist as a person or probably die from an anxiety attack. and she knew Tia didn't mind now, but what about when she gets more serious with Reese and they start their own family? was she gonna just call her up at 5AM and have to do breathing exercises with her?

she didn't want to be a burden and she didn't want Tia feeling obligated to her. she wanted to go back to normal when she could have those arguments with Shawn without a breakdown. when she didn't need her friend to tranquilize her. when she could hear that nickname and not freak. when she could talk to her parent's without feeling like a piece of shit. back before her gran died.

she could feel Tia's breathing slowing down.

"i'm fine now, if you're tired." she said sitting up

"no." she shook her head clearly lying.

"we barely got any sleep, i understand."

"i'm fine."

"well i'm tired and i need to bathe."

"ok." she nodded going to her temporary bathroom.

"i got it you go cuddle up with your boo." she stared at her for a few beats before nodding and pulling her into a hug.

"love you, goodnight"

"love you too."

"and if you need anything-"

"Tia. goodnight." she gave her a quick peck on the cheek before sending her on her way.