Crazy Alphard

"Crazy I know I can do." Better known as Jack Oberous the best selling novelist

[writing-alphard]

Puppy Love

Alphard had wanted to go find a dog for months.  His therapist told him multiple times that perhaps getting a dog would help him.  He recommended going to the local animal shelter and finding a dog that “spoke” to him, one that needed help as much as Alphard did.  

He decided to take Sirius along, as his nephew was still living with him.  “Are you sure you’re okay with us getting a dog?”  It was a big step, but one that Alphard was sure would help him (and perhaps help Sirius as well).  

@justsiriusenough

[writing-alphard]

justsiriusenough​:

Sirius chortles.

“I fear I’ve already failed you in that regard.” He thinks in passing about the Marauders and everything they’ve been up to.

He finishes the whiskey with a grimace, feeling tipsier than he aniticipated.

“Er, anything else, Uncle?”

Alphard laughed genuinely.  “Don’t be so certain on that,” he joked lightly.  “They didn’t call me crazy for no reason.”  Yes, Alphard had his moments, but he was a genuinely good person. “Only if you need anything, nephew.”

[writing-alphard]

junoselwyn​:

Juno smiles awkwardly at the elf before she curtsies and returns to her work. Juno listens politely to conversation and minds her manners for the rest of the meal.  

“Dru sounds lovely.” She offers, before going into her own thoughts for a moment. Hadn’t she left this behind? Droll dinner conversations and family members who couldn’t stand you? 

She sighs softly to herself, remembers that good food and someone else’s wine were comforts that she hadn’t had in quite some time. There’s a lull in the conversation she’s barely been following, and Juno uses it to share a shred of grace.

“Thank you for the lovely dinner, Mrs. Black.” 

Alphard ate quietly, rarely joining in on the boring conversation.  It was often exactly the same, especially if they had a guest.  He remembered nights of dinner in complete silence.

Irma nodded in response to Juno’s words.  There were no sweets after dinner,  not that Alphard could eat another bite.  He hoped that this would be over soon and he could get back to his writing.

“Juno?” Cygnus asked as soon as Al thought it would be time to leave.  “Can we speak alone for a moment?”

Al glanced over at his brother for a moment, but he was so drained.

[writing-alphard]

justsiriusenough​:

Sirius smiles. “They’re alright.”

He still had not told his uncle about the reason for the Marauders deep bond, a secret that involves more than just him isn’t his to tell. 

“They like you. And I do too for what it’s worth.” Sirius still feels himself wound tight, but he takes another hesitant sip of the whiskey and can feel himself relax.

“Any other wisdom to impart?” He says, grinning cheekily. 

Al smiled.  “Well I’m glad that you like me,” he teased gently.  Alphard loved his nephew almost like a son.  He always had and nothing would change that.  He took a slow sip of his whiskey, finishing it the glass.

“Hm.  Other wisdom...”  He paused for a moment, pondering almost playfully.  “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do?”

[writing-alphard]

junoselwyn​:

“Ugh I know what you mean, Mrs. Black.” Juno says smoothly. “I’ve been a housewife for just a few short weeks and I nearly want to die. It’s not fair the men get to have all the fun, is it?”

Her mother in law stares at her coldly.

“I meant-”

“No offense, I’m sure.” Juno says, cutting her off again. “And none was taken, Mother. I am lucky enough to be married to a man as brilliant as your son. And I hope I’m blessed with brilliant sons some day too. We’ve already started tryinh, haven’t we darling?” 

Juno drapes her arm around the back of Al’s chair and starts to gently play with his hair, smiling at her guests. 

“Apologizes, but surely you remember what just being married is like.” She addresses this to Walburga, hoping to pick at the wound she’d already picked up on.

Alphard wanted so horribly to shut his  mind off, but Juno continued pulling him back.  Maybe it wasn’t fair to leave her to her own accord against Walburga and Irma, but shutting down was his coping mechanism (as bad as it was).  It was better to not feel anything than to feel too much.

The young wizard focused on Juno’s voice instead of is mother’s huff.  He reached over and offered her a smile, turning beet red at yet another mention of sex at the dinner table.  “Oh, all the time, my love.”

Cygnus, sensing his the tension in his older brother, did his best to change the subject before something bad happened.  “Well I just hope that Dru and I have the same luck you two are having.”  Of course, Druella and Cygnus were truly a match made in heaven.  They started dating on their own in his fifth year and Cygnus planned on proposing on her birthday over the summer.  

Cygnus kept his eyes on Alphard, ocassionally looking over at Juno or Walburga.  He knew that usually the older brother was the protector, but Cygnus took over that role for Alphard after the incident (at least that’s what he called it in his head).  His father did what he thought was best for his son at the time, but later realized the mistake he made when it was already too late.  Granted, there were always standards to uphold in the pureblood community, especially when it came to the Black family.  Orion truly believed that he was doing what was best for not only his son, but the family name.  Now he wished he hadn’t let Irma win that argument.

Alphard glanced over at his brother.  “You and Dru are perfect for each other... you’ll definitely have the best luck.”  More luck having kids than Alpard and Juno, that was for sure.

In that moment, the house elves brought out dinner, a plethora of meats and sides.  The house elves really outdid themselves.  Alphard was sure to thank them before they left, causing Walburga to roll her eyes.  “Suzie makes the best chicken,” he explained to Juno in a quiet whisper.  He wished that his parents would let him have Suzie, she was his favorite.  “Her last owner was from the Caribbean somewhere and it’s just... so good.”

The small house elf giggled at Alphard’s praise.  “Thank you... Always so kind, Master Alphard is.”

[writing-alphard]

justsiriusenough​:

“Well uh..” Sirius puts his drink down and sighs. “Seems silly now but if I’d told you and you hadn’t…I’d be on my own, you know? So I was…” 

He looks away, studying a stain on the corner of the carpet. 

“Afraid, I think. And no it doesn’t have to be a bigger deal, I just uh-”

Sirius glances up at his uncle. “Does it ever get less weird? Not getting yelled at?”

Alphard’s smile faded a bit as he looked over at his nephew.  He let things hang in the air for a few moments.  “It does,” he replied with a sad smile.  “You have to surround yourself with people who love you for you... people who become the family you choose.”

He paused again, taking a nice long swig of his whiskey.  “When it comes to blood, we’re all we have left.  But you have a good family you chose.  A strong one.  I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit jealous.”

Of course, Alphard had his own core group of friends, but none of them were as strong as what Sirius had with his friend group.

[writing-alphard]

justsiriusenough​:

“Dunno.” He say ase tries the whiskey again.

“I was just prepared for it to be….a bigger deal?” 

Like it would’ve been at home, he finishes in his mind. Sirius can’t even fathom broaching this subject with his parents. 

“And like, you’re the last person to know at this point. That doesn’t piss you off?”

Alphard shrugged.  “Do you want it to be a bigger deal?” he asked, a little confused in that moment as he watched his nephew carefully.  

“I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a little upsetting, but you did it on your own time, when you felt safe and comfortable enough.  What matters is that you told me of your own volition and that our trust is still there.”

[writing-alphard]

junoselwyn​:

“Ah splendid.” Juno says, meaning it. 

“I was always jealous of people who knew what they wanted to be when they grew up.”

She catches Walburga staring at her unkindly and Juno smiles brilliantly before plucking a strawberry off of a plate in front of her and sweetly offering it to Al, he goes to take it and she chides him.

“No darling, let me.”

She maintains eye contact with her sister-in-law as Al reluctantly lets her feed him.

“What position, Cygnus? I truly hope it’s not something boring like Gobstones regulation.”

Alphard offered to take the starwberry, but knew he had to awkwardly let her feed him.  “Thank you, love.”

He ate the strawberry before glancing over towards his brother.  Alphard knew that Cygnus always wanted to be an Unspeakable, and the kid was smart enough to get the position.  Not only that, but he had the right Ministry connections to get the job.

“That’s classified,” Cygnus replied with a bit of a wry smile.  The little showing of personality made a genuine smile spread across Alphard’s face.  If no one else in his family had a successful life, he would be over the moon if Cygnus got everything he wanted and deserved.

"At least he’s doing something productive with his life,” Irma murmured under hre breath.  It was a slap in the face and Alpahard immediately began pushing his food around on his plate again, focused intently on it.  

[writing-alphard]

justsiriusenough​:

“It all tastes the same to me.” Sirius says, but he sips as he’s told, which is good considering he almost immidately sputters most the liquid out and flushes bright red at his Uncle’s question.

“Erm…..” 

He suddenly becomes very interested in the floor. 

“Neither….uh, yet. But James uh-is very straight. So…” 

He swigs the whiskey and grimmaces, chancing a glance at his uncle and regretting it. 

“Don’t-I mean, I haven’t you know, asked him or anything yet, it’s….yeah.”  He finishes lamely. 

“Not the kind of questions I was thinking.” He mumbles, surprised about how shy he feels. He pauses, glancing up at Al again.

“Why are you so cool with it, eh?”

Alphard’s smile faded slightly.  “Sorry, kid,” he replied genuinely.  He still had his suspicions about his nephew and Remus, but knew now that was the wrong thing to ask.  He walked back over to the liquor cubpoard and grabbed the slightly cheaper whiskey before pouring anothe for him.

After a long pause, he looked at Sirius and squeezed his shoulder.  “Why wouldn’t I be okay with this?” he asked slowly.  “This changes nothing.  Unless your entire personality changed in the last few minutes, you’re still the same person, the same nephew that I would do anything for.”

[writing-alphard]

justsiriusenough​:

“No idea where my flair for dramatics comes from.” Sirius says, smiling with just a hair of uncertainty.

Of course it wasnt going to be a big deal. Why was he still bracing for impact?

“Whiskey.” He says, his lopsided grin growing when the glasses appear before them. 

“Cheers, Uncle Al.” Sirius says once he’s handed his glass, knocking it back smoothly. The energy between his fingers relaxes a little, an effect of booze he probably shouldn’t like as much as he does. 

“You seriously have no questions for me?”

It also makes him defiant, to a degree, but that was hardly anything new. 

Alphard smiled and shook his head.  “I won’t tell you then,” he teased lightly as he went to the alcohol cupboard and pulled out his finest whiskey before pouring a double for himself and a single for his nephew.

“Cheers, Sirius,” he smiled, sipping it slowly.  As Sirius knocked it back, he shook his head and poured him another.  ‘This is sipping whiskey, I can pull out the cheaper stuff if you want to get drunk.”  He wasn’t talking down to him at all, or at least he wasn’t trying to.  The cheaper whiskey he had still was fairly expensive in the grand scheme of things.

“So is it Remus or James?  I have my suspicions...” he added with a wry smile.

Alphard always had a feeling about Remus and Sirius, but wasn’t about to say a thing about it unless Sirius brought it up.

[writing-alphard]

justsiriusenough​:

He was certain he would wear a track in his floor, from the pacing, and yet he couldn’t stop. The Marauders had just left, each giving him their own form of pep talk and Remus gently offering to stay-but Sirius had to tell him no.

Because if this went wrong, if this was going to get ugly, he needed to know that the family that found him still loved him, and Sirius wasn’t sure that could be the case if they saw him get rejected by the one tie he had left to parental stability. 

Sirius’s fingers itch for a joint, but he needs to stay sober for this. He also needs to leave his body and enchant a goat to tell his uncle on his behalf, but not smoking was much easier to do. 

Sirius watches the clock strike six, the deadline he had made up for himself, and he takes a deep breath. He easily crosses the manor that had felt more like home than anywhere else except Hogwarts, and knocks once on Alphard’s study. Not waiting for an invitation, the bursts bursting out of him as he bursts into the room. 

“I like boys too.”

Sirius cringes as he finds stillness within himself. The words ring throughout the study and Alphard looks at him with measured interest, a skill Sirius never could perfect at family dinners.

“I like boys too.” He says again, more confident, his jaw set, chin raised. “I-yeah. So if um, that’s going to be a problem, out with it. I-” Sirius realizes he’s shaking and physically holds his hands still. 

“I’m done hiding.”

Alphard stared at him for a few moments, perhaps a moment too long.  An odd feeling ran through him, a mix of relief and worry.  He knew that things were different now than when he grew up, but he also knew that there were still people out there that could target his newphew simply for who he loved.  

Slowly, the man got up and walked over toward Sirius before wrapping his arms around him in a hug.  “You never have to hide around me,” he replied truthfully.  He hoped that Sirius understood that much at least.  Sirius was one of the few people that Alphard relaxed around.  Sirius was the only member of his family to meet his almost partner.  Sirius was his only family.  Period.

He refused to let go of Sirius until Sirius wanted the hug to break.  He knew that this was a big moment in a gay person’s life, and Alphard was thankful that Sirius felt he could come out to him.  Once Sirius moved out of the hug, Alphard let him go.  He wasn’t quite sure what to say, even though he often volunteered at the LGBT+ center in town.  Everyone was different in how they wanted their coming out to go and Alphard could only hope that he was giving Sirius what he needed in that moment.  “You know I’ll love you no matter who you prefer... as long as they treat you well, I’ll be happy.”

Alphard was never more thankful that Sirius got out of that hellscape of a home when he did.  Walburga was the one that outed him to his family; she was the one that turned his life into a living hell for literal years.  He only truly found freedom again when he took Sirius in and was blasted off the damn tree with him.    “Now, let’s go have some tea.... or whiskey.  I can even break out the good stuff.”

[writing-alphard]

[writing-alphard]

tw: grief, character death, coping with loss

August 27, 1945

Dearest Matthew,

They tried to erase you again.  I don’t think that they’ll stop until you’re completely eradicated from my memory.  I refuse to let that happen.  I refuse to allow them to take what little I have left of you away from me.  We knew it would never work between us, but it never should have ended like this.  

You didn’t deserve what happened to you.  Your family didn’t deserve what happened to you; it’s not right and it’s not fair.  You were the one going places, yet I was the one that survived.

I have another treatment tomorrow.  I wish this would work without taking away my memories of you.  However, this isn’t working.  All it’s causing is pain and suffering.  I’m terrified of what tomorrow may bring.

Cyg goes back to Hogwarts in a few days, and I’ll be alone again with only the house elves to talk to and you to write to.  I don’t know how I’m going to make it through this whole.  I want to be the person you helped me become, not the person they want me to be.

I’m holding on tightly, Matty.  I won’t let you go.

APB

[writing-alphard]

junoselwyn​:​

“Oh no, thank you, Irma.” Juno says, offering a faker, brighter smile back. “My mother, may she rest in peace, always said that any woman who drinks wine with dinner is no better than a house elf who found the sherry.” Juno maintains eye contact as she primly she sips water from her glass, her wine glass pointedly untouched. Aggressively, she grabs onto Al’s hand, if for no other reason than to help him sit still. 

“You’ll have to excuse my husband.” She tells the table, affection dripping off of her voice like honey. She gazes at Al adoringly, even though this was the most she’d seen him in weeks. 

“I don’t mean to be improper but we’ve been uh, far too busy with our lovemaking to sit down for formal dinners most days. I fear I’m out of practice as well.”

Someone down the table starts to choke and Juno very calmly waves her wand, sending the food flying. One of the elves quickly scurries in to clean up.

“Roll, darling?” She says, offering the basket to her husband. “Now, Walburga!” Her sister in law looks at her skeptically. “You must tell me what is going on with your makeup. I’m intrigued.”

Her goose eyes narrow as her mouth turns into a frown.

“I’m not wearing any.”

“Oh dear.” Juno says, skewering a tomato smoothly on the end of her fork. She looks pointedly at Walburga’s husband beside her and offers him a charming smile before biting it just a little too sensually. The table sits in silence as she chews, waiting, probably in horror,  for what she says next.

“You’ll have to forgive me, darling. It must be the dreadful lighting in here, you look rather green. I thought perhaps you paying hommage to one of my favorite American witches, she lives in the west and for some strange reason, she’s green.” She makes a sort of ‘silly me’ noise. “You’ll have to forgive me again, I’m used to perfomers and they all tend to be quite dramatic and fantastical, even for dinner. Half the social events I attended in America were in fancy dress. Still I was just telling Al the other day that I was missing all the color that California has. I’ll be redoing our home…well, once we have the time and can keep our hands to ourselves, right, darling?”

She laughs and it turns genuine when she catches Al’s eye and sees some actual life. 

You’re not leaving me here alone with them.

She doesn’t know if he can read minds, but she hopes. To continue the act, she kisses him tenderly, chaste but still a bit darling for dinner. She giggles and then hands the house elf her salad plate. 

“Cynus!” She crows, as if she’d been waiting for him for hours. “Tell me-Al says you just graduated. Congratulations are in order, but, more importantly, so are questions about the future.” She shifts, and Al takes the hint, putting his arm around her. She scootches her chair closer, the noise echoing, and snuggles in. Al smells like cinnamon and nerves-she makes a note to buy him aftershave.

“What’s next? Traveling? Higher Education? The Ministry? Tell me everything.” She rests her elbow on the table and props up her chin, her eyes fixed on the youngest Black.

Irma’s eyes went wide as Pollux struggled to hold in a chuckle as he took a sip of his whiskey. Still, Irma said nothing rude to her daughter-in-law; she was still too new to the family to face her wrath.  

Alphard stilled when Juno grabbed his hand, if only for a few moments before his leg started to bounce under the table.  Her words made him blush as he looked down at his plate.  Even if that was a bold faced lie, the idea of speaking of sex at the dinner table was enough to make him feel that much more uncomfortable.

Irma continued to stare at Juno, disliking everything about the other woman.  She was crass and rude to her family, but if there was an heir in the future from Alphard, they would simply have to deal with her.

Thankfully, Juno was taking all the attention off of Alphard and throwing it onto herself, something that Al was grateful for.  Most dinners were enough to make Alphard sick, but this… this was rather entertaining, even if he kept an almost flat affect after his blushing subsided.  As soon as she referenced the Wizard of Oz, Alphard nearly lost it.  His act broke for a few moments as he caught her eye, the faintest smile ticking at the corners of his lips.  “Right, Ju,” he murmured before she kissed him.  It caught him off guard, but he fell into his role well.

Slowly, he wrapped an arm around her, again thankful for her taking the lead on this.  She was making this a dinner to remember.

Cygnus looked up from his plate when he heard his name pass her lips.  There was absolutely no way she could have any problems with him, right?  “I don’t know,” he admitted.  “I’ve always wanted to travel, but right now things aren’t stable enough in the world to do that.”  With the war having just ended, things were unstable in both the muggle and magical world, especially when it came to international travel.  He was also scared to leave his brother for any extended period of time, just in case Alphard might need him.

“I have an interview with the Ministry next week, for a job I’ve always wanted.”

Pollux grinned from across the table, clearly so proud of his son. “And he’s going to do splendidly.”

[writing-alphard]

When Sirius said that he wanted to talk to him, Alphard grew a bit worried.  He had grown rather used to Sirius living with him.  He was fond of the young man and wanted to help him grow into the man that Alphard always wished he could be.  They spent the last four years cohabitating, Alphard always willing to help out Sirius in whatever way he needed (emotionally, financially, whatever he needed, Al was there for him).  

He feared that it was time for Sirius to go find his own place (which he knew wouild eventually happen) and that was what the conversation was going to be about.  Still, he sat in his study (one of the few places that he asked Sirius not to go to without him present), sipping on a whiskey and coke as he waited for Sirius to arrive.

Merlin help him through this.

@justsiriusenough

[writing-alphard]

[writing-alphard]

Alphard was exhausted before he even stepped foot in Black Manor.  The idea of dinner with his family made him anxious and filled him with stress and dread.  It had only been a few weeks since their wedding and Alphard was still trying to get a feel for what Juno was truly like.  He didn’t want to act married in front of his family, but they flooed into the house and Alphard took Juno’s hand.  He was a good little actor.  It was like a switch flipped as soon as they entered Black Manor. His body language changed; he slumped a bit, his shoulders tense.  His eyes darted around the familiar house.  

The manor was large, but cold and drab.  There was no life or personality in any aspect.  While everything was immaculate and spotless, there was a depressing aura to it.

Small talk was had between his parents and Juno.  His father was all smiles, welcoming her to the family while Irma seemed to simply tolerate her presence.  While Pollux tried to include Alphard in on the conversation, Alphard remained quiet, merely nodding every now and again.  Irma didn’t seem to even acknowledge her son’s presence.  The tension was obvious, even if Pollux tried to dissipate it.

Soon enough, the entire family was there.  The house elves brought out the salad and drinks.  Cygnus sat on Alphard’s left side (while Juno was on Alphard’s right side), but would glance at Juno every now and again, taking her in and studying her.  He needed to make sure that she was not hurting his older brother.

Alphard fidgeted at the table, pushing his salad around on his plate.  Whenever someone would ask him anything, he’d shrug and look away.  When things got tense, he would murmur under his breath.

“Stop that, Alphard,” his mother snapped at him.  “I thought you were past that nonsense.”

Alphard wouldn’t even look at his mother.  Was it his anxiety showing, or was it an act?  Even Alphard wasn’t sure, as the line between the two blurred around his mother or Walburga.  He immediately went silent and dropped his fork on his plate, staring at it.

“I’m sorry, dear,” Irma offered Juno with a fake smile.  “Would you like some more wine?”  

@junoselwyn​