entp, part time writer, full time fanfic reader, uni student as a hobby.
currently writing for boynextdoor, ampers&one, &team and nct wish :p
works in progress
requests: open
works!!! (and masterlists!!!)
ampers&one
everyone's a star! misc. series
andteam
vicious wang nicholas 0,4k words
★ summary: you always call late at night and he always answers.
boyband wang nicholas
★ summary: idol x rockstar
the rocks asakura jo 1.6k words
★ summary: in which maybe you are not as alone as you thought. And where the waves don't kill, they crash.
texts w/ roommate! asakura jo smau
part one
boynextdoor
its complicated! park sungho smau completed
The one where, after falling for the guy who works at the music store next door (and doing nothing about it), you decide to move on. Or the one where Sungho finally lets go of his on-again, off-again relationship and decides to try his luck with the pretty girl at the piercing shop. Also, the one where both are morally gray characters.
does your mother know? kim woonhak smau completed
It's your final year at KOZ High School, and unfortunately for you, the play of your dreams premiered last year, so you're stuck doing Mamma Mia!, even though half the seniors aren't keen on the project. Or: It's Woonhak's junior year, and going against most of his principles, he decides to audition for this year's play, more interested in the possibility of getting a chance with you than in landing a lead role.
lngshot
after hours kwon ohyul smau
part one | part two
★ summary: managing the new hottest group in kpop might not be as easy as one might think.
backseat kim ryul smau
part one | part two | part three
★ summary: he thinks you deserve better than the backseat.
nct wish
too much, too little tokuno yushi 9k words
★ summary: All your life you'd been told you were too exhausting, too much. All his life, he'd been told he was too underwhelming, too little. Perhaps there was a balance that had been lost somewhere along the way. Perhaps it would take you a long time to realize it.
texts w/ best friend? kim daeyoung smau
part one | part two
⤷ the fall 3,7k words
★ summary: the five times Jaehee wanted to kiss you, the time he did, and the aftermath.
IZZY i'm curious since you've been into ampies a LOT lately, what fanfic tropes do you think would fit them most??
AHHHHHHHH SMDJDFKSJNNWN OKAY YES
first of all im still new to the fandom and im so sorry if i mention something wrong in here 💗
1. kamden - he's so awkward sometimes but i feel like he wont be afraid to show his love? and he would be kinda clingy too cause yall see how hes with brian oml😭 so as a romantic trope? he's kinda brother's best friend for me? like forbidden romance kinda.
2. brian - VIOLENTLY GIGGLING RIGHT NOWvfggehrge. imma be self indulgent here. basketball player!brian x fashion design student!reader. like he was an architect student right i can literally imagine him drawing the patterns on the paper cause you hate drawing the patterns.
3. jiho - idol x fan for some reason? i've seen in videos the way he interacts with fans? but then if its est. relationship then def rage baited x rage baited. he's gonna rage bait you and then you're gonna get rage baited. and the other way around too.
4. siyun - friends to lovers again some people might don't like this? but as an introvert and an only child, we treasure our friendships than anything else and i feel like with siyun it might be like grumpy x sunshine except he's not that rude but he's kinda awkwardly shy? but he would treat you better than others and he would make it lil bit obvious too?
5. kyrell - strangers to lovers AHHHH now imagine you're stressed as fuck cause of your uni or job or wtv and then you go to this new cafe just to clear your mind. then you order food and there's this cashier with dark red hair and cutesy smile with a sweet voice. then you become the "regular" of the cafe ansnsjnjfjjdsj. okay imma stop.
6. mackiah - best friend's brother honestly i dont know why i put this but he's so brother's best friend coded? or summer vacation romance? you go to australia for your vacation and you see him and many eye contacts and him being an EXTROVERT i feel like he would initiate the conversation and yall would end up sharing the socials?
7. seungmo - SELF INDULGENT P2 AHHHH yes enemies to lovers i've been watching ampers content and his attitude csfssbat his attitude is attractive and he's a rage baiter let's be fr he will tease the fuck out of you and will smirk when you crash out. and when you start dating a guy he will try so hard to resist the jealousy but mackiah? or kyrell will do smth about it? (giggles giggles giggles)
again im still new to the fandom and im sorry if someone feels like this is not real or smth😭😭😭 well brian and seungmo are self indulgent so 🥰
★ summary: the calm after the storm, where everything should be the same, yet you both know.
★ warnings: nothing really
★ a/n:
★ permanent taglist: @blubb0 @gyubvlin
It had been a week since the last time Seongmo saw you. Fighting wasn't as rare of an occurrence as it should be, becoming one of the favorite hobbies for free afternoons, it seemed like you two couldn't go a day without being at each others throat. Yet after it was over, it was done for, nothing had happened.
You never dared to cancel plans, leave, or even sleep on the couch. You two acted as if nothing had gone down between you, as if the bitter words, mean stares and sneaky comments were common, normal even. Being at each others throat was an act of love just as much as kissing, hugging, taking care of the other was.
Yet it had never been like this. The silence was deafening, the air thick between the two of you. Seongmo was sure you could hear a pin drop if you put intent on it.
Not only had you left in silence, disappearing in the middle of the day, you had left your things there too, giving the once shared apartment an eerily feeling. No message, no call, no nothing.
He wishes he had payed attention, to what exactly he doesn't know, but there had to be something, a sign, a mark, a weird looking lamp. Something that could have noticed him that you weren't okay. That the reason for getting up, even if it was just to keep fighting was there.
But you come back, and he tries to convince himself all is good again, that your hugs are just as warm, your kisses just as sweet and nothing is fundamentally broken. Everything is the same.
And maybe that's the problem, you still are you and Seongmo is still Seongmo. He still forgets to wash his cup in the morning and watches football religiously on Sundays. You still stay up late only to get in bed and you still have cold feet and take long naps on the couch. You are fine, everything's fine.
But it isn't. because you don't nag him anymore for the cups on the sink or the TV volume on Sundays. You stay later, way past the usual time you were in bed, and wear socks to bed to battle the cold. He doesn't wake up with you by his side, and you don't try to retain him in bed on weekends when he tries to get up too early in your opinion. You don't wear his old clothes to nap on the couch, you don't text in random intervals asking about his days, you don't care, it seems.
In theory, you still are the perfect girlfriend, hell, even more now that you don't bicker as much, he thinks, even if he's ashamed right after. Because this isn't you, and this version of you, that lets him win without even putting on a fight, will never be the one he fell in love with.
So he tells himself this is what he wanted, after all. Someone calm, quiet, collected. Someone that matched him. He was a calm person, allegedly. If you ignored the outbursts.
But now that he has it, was it worth it? hearing you laugh with one of your friends and realizing he couldn't remember the last time he even heard the sound, less alone be the reason for it. but you are fine, after all.
You don't ramble to him anymore about the movies you watched, instead typing furiously at your phone to someone who will listen and not complain, to someone who cares. He asks, but you tell him he wouldn't understand it, he had to see it. He misses the way you would read your point by point review.
He misses your singing voice in the kitchen, your figure reading on the other side of the couch while he lingers, working on some song. He misses the way you hum them.
He misses you.
And maybe he has to count his losses, appreciate that in some way he had you, but maybe you just aren't right to each other, like a match to gasoline you just know how to consume each other in the best and worse ways. And maybe he knows what is coming when you come back home and search for him after how long, and he knows what's coming when you tell him you need to talk and he knew it was coming when you told him you needed a break, some time apart would do you good. And he hopes you come back, may it be in a week, a month a year. Sometime. Just so he can have it as good as he once had, instead of daydreaming about dirty mugs.
★ na kamden: leader, rapper, and main dancer of the group. considers himself a good enough guy, even if the awkwardness get the best of him sometimes.
★ ho brian: vocalist, and local polyglot of the group. still gets weirded out on how fans have his school name.
★ choi jiho: performance leader, vocalist. big fan of gdragon, thats how he bonded with y/n since he was the only idol she could recognize (hes proud to be added to that list).
★ yoon siyun: vocalist. was casted thru dancing. and enjoys loosing at games. not that big of a drinker but still goes to the bar to meet normal people
★ choi (valentine) kyrell: also a vocalist. good at spanish and in charge of the smiles in the group (so corny). infiltrated in fan twitter just to see what they are up to.
★ mackiah mercer: rapper. even if he tries acting all macho man, he cant handle scary things. was in a band in middle school, and his hidden talent is knowing to play the flute.
★ kim seungmo: vocalist, and maknae. a slightly odd individual but a regular boy simultaneously. dont play the dont blink game with him you will loose.
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taglist: @saranghoeforanton @gukbbong @beamyniki @k1ssm3t send an ask or leave a comment to be added!
i wrote guess who with chat bc ur not finishing it. do u mind if i post it on wattpad
This is the final straw for me.
Aside from the fact there are literal CHILDREN interacting with my posts when I have clearly stated I do not feel comfortable with it, another one of my boundaries has been broken.
I will be deleting all of my work from this blog and will also not be continuing to write on here. People that are 18+ and not assholes like anon here can dm me and ask me for my AO3 where I will be posting my work from now on.
★ summary: maybe, in order to like him, you have to evolve
★ warnings: slightly suggestive.
★ a/n: this, along with the rocks, was one of the first ones i started writing.
★ permanent taglist: @blubb0 @gyubvlin
Parties were your scene. Loud music, bass boosted speakers and the buzz of alcohol meant you probably were there, self proclaimed party girl.
Your friends were no different, all of you sharing the same hobby, yet you had one rule and one rule only that you wouldn't budge on that set you apart: under no circumstance would you be with a frat boy.
Sure, they were nice enough to be considered acquaintances, after enough weekends you could considered them some type of friends, but you would rather die than find yourself tangled away in their sheets, and that truth was a hard pill to swallow, even more to certain people in particular.
Another Friday, another party. You and your friends already dolled up and pregamed before arriving at the same house you had been coming for the past few weekends, and team frat. It was odd for your group to be frequenting the same establishment so many weekends in a row, but one of your friends had been fooling around with some guy named Yuma, member of said frat, and it seemed like things were more serious than they both had expected, even if you had your own opinions on the situation, he seemed like a nice guy, at least enough for you to agree to come to his frat enough weekends in a row, getting way too close to becoming a regular.
The only downside, and what a downside it was, was that frat boys move in packs, and while your friends had found their entertainment for the weekend in Nicholas, the resident flirt, or trying to see how red Jo's cheeks could get, much to the shy boys demise, you had found a match for your own, a match made in hell, you could say.
Maus Riki.
A year younger. Probably studying finance or something like that. What he lacked in age he made up in height, and even more in looks. Probably could have been a model in another life when he didn't decide keg stands were a worth hobby to pass the time.
His crime? being a flirt, and a damn good at that. If you weren't as stubborn, and he hadn't made the mistake of approaching you at his own frat party, you probably would have given him a chance.
You could feel his stare from the moment you set foot in the house. The way his eyes raked over your figure, the silent nod to Yuma, signaling that his lover had come, as a good friend would do.
But you knew better. That nod, that lazy smile, and his uninterested step as he trailed after the boy like he was doing you a favor in approaching you. how you wished you could slap that smirk off his face.
"Well… look who do we have here" Maki says, letting his eyes feast on your body as if he hadn't been following your every move from the moment you entered. One of your friends giggle at his comment, earning herself an eye roll from you.
"Hi, Maus" you greet, before promptly turning around to the conversation you were having moments before.
"Not so fast, doll.' he says, wasting no time in pulling you back in, shamelessly grabbing you by the waist. "barely left me get a look at you. So pretty all dressed up"
"Shut up dude" you say, trying to get a way as you feel his eyes rake all over your figure. You would be lying if you said you didn't like it. in some twisted way, you really enjoyed the attention, having one of the most sought after guys thirsting after you was a great ego boost.
"Nice dress' he says, his hands wondering way lower than they should. "Too short for my taste" he adds, pulling the skirt lower, his hand grazing the naked skin of your thighs.
"I thought you liked it" you say, trying to sound more annoyed than teasing, miserably failing at that.
"I do- don't get me wrong, it looks sinful on you," he says, trying to pull you even closer. "but I think it deserves a better treatment, like on my bed instead of a shitty basement. "
"As if" you scoff. There was no way in hell you would ever think of getting intimate with such a character. Sure, you heard the rumors, he was allegedly a good lay. But there was no way in hell you would ever fuck the human version of a vape in the club. (I.e, passed around)
"Common, you would have a great time I promise" if you could wipe that smirk off his face you would, but you don't think violence is really acceptable.
"No fucking way"
"Why not? i would make sure of it, scout's honor " you hated him, really. Hadn't he be so hot, you wouldn't be under this predicament. One rule, only one you had and he was adamant on making you break it, under the promise of something more. You knew damn well better than to believe you were something else besides another notch in his belt.
"And catch an std? no thank you." Ok, maybe it had come off ruder than intended, but he really was starting to get on your nerves, acting all high and dainty when everyone knew of his sexcapades.
"Don't worry, I'm tested" he says, way more cheekily than one would expect.
"And how many have you fucked since that?" Once again, what a bitch you were.
"You wound me pretty, I thought you knew better than to believe rumors" he wines, acting as if you had physically wounded him. "haven't been with anyone since i saw you" he flirts, winking as if that was the highest compliment you could get.
"That's not exactly what i heard."
"yeah but who's saying it. Doesn't count if they don't know me" he says, before calling over Nicholas, one of your acquaintances from this hellhole, formerly known as Maki's best friend "hey nicho, when was the last time I had someone over."
"I don't know man, your dry spell is literally haunting" he comments, before going back to trying to whatever conversation, which you were sure was not pg 13, he was having with your friend.
"See? there you have it" he says, please with the albeit humiliating from his friend. "Been saving me for you, mamas" his hands find solace on your waist once again, gently caressing the curve of your body.
"Ew, don't call me that." you wish you could sound more convincing, more because the nickname in itself is cringe than nothing else.
The idea of the rumors being wrong did lift the red flag a little, making it a yellow now more than anything. and maybe was the alcohol talking, but you had eyes, and Maki had always been a fine motherfucker.
"So now consider me giving me a chance"
and you act like you are thinking about it, pondering even if you two already know the answer, As much as you liked the chasing game, it was getting tiresome. but you still had a little more to give, not ready to give in .
"Call me when you are sober and we will see" you say, pulling out from his touch.
"But I don't have your number" he retorts, even if it sounds more like begging than a complaint. Maki was past the point to care, the prospect of finally getting to have you way more interesting than some ego or adjacent.
"I'm sure you can fix that. You are a big boy after all" And with that, you disappear into the crowd, ready to find your long gone friends. They say some rules are meant to be broken, after all.
★ summary: you come back to your hometown after a year abroad, and suddenly your best friends brother is hot. or where mackiah only has one goal for his summer, to make sure you realize he's the one for you.
★ wc: 11.3k words (lol)
★ warnings: non realistic depiction of families. 5sos mention. some violence and alcohol mentions, but nothing serious. Cuss words, the reader calls herself a slut once. a reference to the breakfast club. silly titles because i didnt know how to tie all the different scenes lol. kyrell is lowk a cockblock
★ notes: first (long and fully written) fic i post! so yeah, i'm really excited and would love to hear your thoughts about it :). I post it mostly because if i didnt now i would keep editing into oblivion, is it my best work? no, but its honest work and thats what matters!
★ taglist: @blubb0 @doobinnies
intro. the shoes
If you had asked Mackiah what his plans were for the summer, he would have answered the same as the last few years: hanging out with his friends, maybe planning a trip to his parents' beach house. The only difference from previous years was that this year he had to add filling out college applications to his to-do list, but he wasn't in a big hurry. Three months is a long time.
He comes down the kitchen, the first day of his summer vacation, preparing for Kyrell and Seungmo to come occupy his house for the next week, when he sees it.
A pair of converse by the entrance.
Not his sister’s white pair. Not big enough for it to be his or any of his friends that raided his home unannounced. Worse.
“Long time no see, Kiah” that voice. He was sure he could recognize it anywhere. It haunted him in his best dreams and his worst nightmares, though it wasn't much of a nightmare if you were in it anyway.
“Didnt know you were back” if there was a thing he didn't understand, it was how a person can only become more beautiful with time. He'd hoped his stupid crush would have gone away the year you spent studying abroad, but damn, doesn't distance make the heart grow fonder.
And so, as you chat about your time away from his family, he mentally adds another thing to the list.
✓ Make sure his sister's best friend realizes he's the one for her.
chapter one. harmless flirting
You two weren't your typical best friend story, growing up together, knowing each other since kindergarten. Your story with Kenzie began when your family moved to town when you were fourteen, the year you started high school. She was the girl tasked with showing you around, and since then you've been joined at the hip, like two peas in a pod.
From sleepovers to shared friend groups, first relationships and first heartbreaks, first days of school to graduating together, it seemed like the two of you couldn't be apart. You fought and made up, like any best friends would, but you always came back to each other. The only thorn in your relationship since the beginning had been the same: the crush her brother had on you, only seeming to intensify over the years.
It all started the first time you went to their house. It was the year you moved there, and you didn't know if it was the superiority of starting high school or the rush of turning fifteen, but the idea of hanging out with a younger boy who was still in middle school seemed repulsive, and your new friend seemed to agree, even more so when said boy was her brother.
Your disgust at him did nothing to deter him, making any excuse to be in the same room as you, showing off in a way that you can only find in a nature documentary about peacocks, making his interest known since the first meeting.
Sure, he'd always been cute. If you had met him under different circumstances, at fifteen, you would have been head over heels with the boy with the Australian accent and the band. It was a recipe for disaster and the closest you'd ever get to dating Calum Hood.
At the same time, there was something extremely humiliating about the prospect of liking your friend's younger brother. For God's sake, he was still in middle school! So you decided that acting repulsed by his actions was the way to go, which seemed to please your annoyed friend and fuel his need to prove himself worthy of you.
You thought that at some point it would go away. That he would start high school and move on, probably date some pretty girls, and, even if the thought alone gave you a sinking feeling, you wouldn't waste time thinking about it. You already had your eye on some of the current seniors, since now that you're a sophomore, you actually had a chance with them.
That point never comes. From the moment he started high school, going the same as his sister, and to your demise, you, he marks his stake on you, claiming you for every man and woman present and to come to know that you are his. From inviting you to homecoming, winter formal, and prom when you were allowed to attend, to multiple love confession during the years, even following you through the different clubs and events you joined, he made his love for you clear for everyone.
Your pain didn't end there. After a year of pining over Jiho, an older boy that's pretty, talented, and really nice for being a seventeen year old guy, he makes the worst mistake a man trying to date you could do. He befriends Mackiah, and suddenly bro code comes first, even though you were there before him, and now you can see the guilt on his face every time you approach him after that. You could barely interact with your classmates without Mackiah making it his personal mission to befriend them, making sure to tell them just how in love he is with you before any of them could even consider thinking about it.
Your high school years were the lowest point in your love life, only scoring a boyfriend from the school across town, someone Mackiah couldn't possibly know or befriend. That lack of knowledge didn't stop him, his comments under his posts assured him that you deserved better, and that he was the superior option.
That was the first big fight you had with your best friend, and the first time Mackiah apologized for his behavior.
You were distancing yourself from their family, in hopes of calming the waters in your relationship. But you should have known Kenzie was never the type to let go without a fight. So, pulling his ear along the way, she made her brother kneel in front of you and promise not to harass your boyfriend, current and future, even if he won't approve of them (which earned him a slap on the neck from his sister). And although you returned to their normal life, your relationship with Mackiah had shifted.
He tried to keep a distance from you, but you still could feel him lurking. He still tried to get you to go to dances with him, and his likes were constant on your posts, but the comments and replies had dwindled. He no longer followed you to your clubs and extracurricular activities, but showed up alongside his sister to every important event. He no longer tried to convince every guy that approached you to not date you, but he did beat up your ex when he found out he had cheated on you.
Honestly, you couldn't find it in yourself to be mad at him when he appeared on your doorsteps, knuckles bloody, rambling about how you deserved better, deciding that bandaging him up and thanking him by pressing a quick peck to his cheek was the way to go. Look, you may have found him attractive, but that just meant you had working eyes! Even if you liked him (which you didn't) you would never do that to her. But there's no problem with a little harmless flirting, right?
chapter two. hot as ever
There you were, sitting in his kitchen, drinking a coffee with him. Lord was this the domesticity he yearned for. Mackiah swore he was still dreaming cause there was no way you were back. In his home. Having breakfast with him as if nothing had happened.
“Have you decided which university you’re going to apply to?” you ask, taking a sip as you look around the kitchen, taking in the small changes that have happened in your absence, trying not to stare at the boy in front of you, who's probably changed the most.
“Not really, I have time,” leaning against the counter trying to act nonchalant as he feels your eyes dart to his arms. “Why, scared I will follow you around the world?”
“It would be a waste of time, since I’m coming back anyway”
His eyes lit up at the prospect, and you could see he was trying so hard to hold back a smile, "What brought you back?” he asked, finishing his drink to disguise his reaction.
“I completed the program, and although they offered me to finish my degree, I can do it here, and honestly, I missed this place.”
”I’ll take that as you missed me” he says smugly.
“Of course you will,” you laugh, looking at him with a certain fondness you have reserved for him only. “Didnt expect anything else from you”
He clears his throat, trying to not let your gaze get to his head. “My sister is coming back around lunch time, but don't worry. I can keep you company until then” he winks at you teasingly as he turns to wash the cups you had used. Had he started going to the gym while you were away? Because you don't remember his arms being this defined, or his back being this wide, not that you paid attention to it anyway.
You spent the rest of the morning trying to help him with his college applications, though little progress was made, as he seemed way more interested in what you had done this year away, and whom you had met. Unfortunately for him, you easily ignored his prying, forcing him to change his strategy and only fill out the application for the university you were transferring back to.
At some point, the home invaders he called friends arrived, and to his distaste now you could ignore him under the pretense of catching up with your old classmates. The same ones he stole from you, now were taking you away from him with vapid talk about old high school drama and career courses. If looks could kill, Kyrell would have been dead by now.
To make matters even worse, his sister arrived, and after a few minutes of squealing, hugging and a few tears, you were taken captive to her room, away from him.
As you walk up the stairs, he can hear Kyrell mutter, “She's still as hot as ever” which earned him a punch to his arm and a laugh from Siyun.
chapter three. slip by
“You didn't tell me you would come back” your friend protests as soon as you finish settling into her room. Barely anything had changed, and the few little things that had been had your opinion given on them, even from across the globe.
“Well, it wouldn't have been a surprise,” you joke, lying on her bed as she begins to remove her makeup. You missed her terribly.
"It didn't need to be a surprise, you could have just told me," she complains, slumping into her desk chair. "Besides, it's not fair that Mackiah saw you first. I'm your best friend, not him!"
You laugh, they always had a strange competition to see who would get your attention, and your friend almost always won. "You didn't tell me he'd dyed his hair, I barely recognized him." You remember his now blonde hair, a change (more than approved of), although you still preferred his natural color.
"I didn't think it was necessary. After all, you have his social media," he said, not very interested in updating you on his brother's life.
"I don't pay attention to his social media." Of course not, too scared of slipping up with a like on a story and triggering what would probably be the worst butterfly effect in the world.
"Knowing how often he’s in your replies, it's weird that you don't," you gasp, throwing a pillow at him. While the accusation was true, having his name in the likes section as soon as you posted something, you were almost certain he even had your notifications turned on, You still were very much afraid of ever stalking his profile.
“God. No " liar. You were interested, maybe not in a proactive way, but at least in an innocent way you were. Curiosity killed the cat, they say.
“I guess he’s still single,” you say, trying to sound as disinterested as possible. You didn't know why that mattered, but you hoped the answer hadn't changed since the last time you were there.
“Girl, I don’t think there’s a woman who hates herself enough to be with him as long as you exist on the same planet as him,” she jokes, removing her makeup. “Don't tell me you're interested,” she gasps, pointing a cotton pad at you accusingly.
“God. No " liar. You were interested, maybe not proactively, there wasn't any harm in asking, it's not like you liked him.
“Well I need you to be,” she joked, making you raise an eyebrow at her request, already preparing yourself for whatever crazy idea had gotten into your friend's head. There was no way anything healthy would come out of this conversation.
"You know I'm seeing Kamden. He's finally coming back from college, and is probably going to be here everyday with fuckass Mackiah. I need you to entertain him enough to let us slip by” she finishes, a sly smile adorning her lips. God, how infuriating she was. After years of complaining about Mackiah liking her friend, she goes and falls in love with one of the six dudes who are able to make her brother seethe and act the exact same way, and honestly, you have to admire the skill.
You would do it, of course. You would kill for her if necessary. But wasn't this the same girl who screamed bloody murder at her brother, threatening any of his possessions and physical integrity when he did as much as breathed in your direction?
chapter four. drive you home
Movie nights were one of the traditions you had since you became best friends, and the first thing reinstalled once you came back to town. It was a requirement for your Friday nights to be spent binging random movies on her couch, snacking on whatever you could find.
In parallel tradition, there was the ritual of Kenzie forcing Mackiah to leave, with various complaints from him about how ‘it was his house too’ and ‘is not fair for you to get the living room every Friday’. There were times were you compromised, either moving to her room (to Mackiah's disappointment) or letting him and whoever was with him join in, usually Kyrell or Siyun, maybe Jiho (once Mackiah had deemed his presence around you not a threat), but most of the time just him, acting as if it was only the two of you, either lying his head on your shoulder or his arm resting on the back of the sofa, always trying to make a pass at you.
Now, another Friday night at the Mercer household, and you are getting ready for a marathon of the worst horror movies you could find. By a miracle, Mackiah (and company, much to your best friend's pleased smile when she informed you Kamden was dropping by) were getting ready for some party.
You occupied yourself making the snacks, your friend browsing the sketchy piracy sites you used to find obscure movies, probably hoping to catch a glimpse of the older boy who occupied her mind and instagram dms.
As you finish the popcorn, you feel a presence behind you, breathing down your neck. Mackiah, of course, it seemed like he couldn't help himself if you were around.
“What you doin there?” he asked, chin resting on your shoulder, raising goosebumps where he had brushed against you.
“Popcorn” you answer obviously, and your breath hitches when you feel his arm brush against your waist, stealing a piece.
“Would have loved to stay tonight” he mumbles, pulling away to rest on the counter beside you, "We haven't had a movie night in a while” he says, bumping your shoulder gently.
“Whose fault is that? You are choosing to go partying with friends when you could be watching the killer gingerbread man with us” you joke, throwing a piece of popcorn at him.
“Tempting, but I don't think Seungmo will let me skip his birthday celebration” he says, grabbing the projectile and popping it in his mouth. “Wait for me,” he asks, teasingly.
“In your dreams”
“Oh, in my dreams you do a lot more than waiting.” he winks, teasing. As he leaves the kitchen, “You better be here when I come back.”
“No promises”
It's not like you waited for him. You had watched the shitty gingerbread movie, then a romcom, and then another horror movie you couldn't even remember. You just happened to get caught over debriefing your year away with your friend. It's not like you were actually waiting for him.
Kenzie had nothing to complain about since she also was staying awake waiting for his prince charming, busying herself analyzing the profiles of the guys you dated on your year apart, barely holding back on her appreciations, if you could call them that.
“You always had the knack of finding the ugliest ones.” your friend teased as you showed her a photo of an old fling. You laughed at her comment, barely taking offense. She had some truth to her words afterall.
“Bad news for me then” Mackiah says as he enters the living room, startling both of you. He sits beside you, his arm resting behind your head. Following close behind him were the rest of the boys, some of them whom you knew, like Jiho, Kyrell and Siyun, having gone to high school with them, but some of them were the new addition, as Kenzie called them, and it seemed like you were missing out.
“More like great news” his sister teased “You might have a chance now” this was the moment where you had to change the topic, because if you knew something about the Mercer siblings was how easy their bickering could escalate into something worse.
“It seems like the spare room is occupied for the night” you comment after the parade of half-asleep half-drunk men finished walking in, dropping on different surfaces of the house. You didn't miss the way Kamden oh so casually sat beside your friend, who grinned mischievously in response.
You open the uber app to see if any driver close by would have mercy on you. Highly unlikely, considering it was Friday night and you weren't heading downtown. You feel him lay his head on your shoulder.
“Let me drive you home” he asks, and it sounds like he's asking you for a favor.
“You are drunk, Mackiah” You really hope you can find an uber home. Even hitch-hiking didn't sound as half as bad as being alone in a car with him right now would be.
“No. Didn't drink cause you were waiting for me” he confesses, and you swear you could feel your heart stop. “Wanted to drive you home”
“I wasn't waiting for you”
“Sure, keep telling yourself that” he teases, “So, want a ride? you know there's always a space for you in my bed if you want to stay” he jokes, and you know there wasn't an ounce of humor in his words.
“You know what, sure. You can drive me home” you give up, not wanting to keep staring at the tiny pin on the map getting ignored by the drivers nearby. Your friend owes you big time for this, and you better be the bridesmaid at their wedding.
His smirk only grows wider as he leads you to the family car and you want nothing but to wipe it off, hating how smug he looks about having won this one. It's the same car your friend learned to drive with, the one she got her license and took you everywhere with, now serving the same purpose with the younger Mercer.
“You have your license, do you?” Of course he had it, knowing his mother there was no way he could even breathe close to the car without having the proper permits.
“Of course, who do you take me for? a delinquent?” he jokes, throwing the plastic card to you as you sit on the passenger side. “Careful, I may look too good for your standard” He jokes, you sigh. God, Kenzie was asking for it.
“You look old,” you comment, looking at the photo as he starts the car. It’s not very good; the light reflects off his features in an odd way. It's even worse when you compare it to the real thing. You can see his side profile, focusing on the road as he drives. You can find glimpses of the boy you grew up with, now masked behind the facade of a handsome guy. They are still the same features, the same eyes and the same infatuation in his gaze, now more... mature, leaving behind his childish manners.
“I am older,” he comments.
“You look forty in this photo Kiah”
“...You really know how to bruise a guy’s ego”
“it's a talent” you brag, throwing the license on the dashboard.
“Good, getting rid of the competition for me” he jokes, his hand patting your thigh before resting there, as if it was the most common thing in the world. You pretend to ignore it, and while looking away to prevent him from seeing your flustered face, you miss his pleased smirk at your reaction.
The rest of the drive passes uneventfully, ignoring his grip on your skin. He lets you control the aux and you ask about shared friends. He pulls into your driveway, not hesitating to get out, opening the door for you.
“You didn't have to walk me to the door,” you scolded him.
“What kind of gentleman would I be if I let you wander into the night, alone, unprotected?” he asks, one hand to his chest in mock offense.
“The normal kind.” you say, fumbling with your keys “Are you saying I can't protect myself?”
“I’m not saying you can't, I’m saying I want to”
“You should head back, Mackiah,” you whisper, ignoring his confession. “Thanks for the ride” you press a fleeting kiss to his cheek, before quickly entering your house, not wanting him to see how affected you were by your own actions.
Outside, he hopes you don't see the goofy smile that is plastered across his face. Or the fist to the sky, in a great Bender style, he does to celebrate this small victory.
kenz <3: thanks for taking mackiah with you tonight 😽. I owe you one !
If only she knew.
chapter five. sticky
You never were a big fan of summer. You hated being constantly humid, the smell of sunscreen and not being able to exist outside without scorching to death. Your parents were never gracious enough to get you a pool, excusing themselves under the pretense of being too hard to clean, too time consuming and too dangerous, so they would dispatch you to Kenzie's house, which had the glory of present parents and a pool. And your best friend, that too.
Things hadn't changed that much. After all this time, the plan still was the same, sunbathing by the pool, a jug of lemonade, teen magazines and all of the town's latest tea, with a side of Mackiah plotting on ways of getting your attention. The only thing that changed now was that instead of lying there staring at the sky or reading celebrity gossip, you were entertaining yourself with the impromptu volleyball game the boys had going on. Or at least your friend was, you being a mere circumstantial victim.
“He's so hot” your friend says, probably referring to Kamden, you guess, since it seemed like it could apply to any of them. Had Mackiah gotten all of his friends off of a model catalogue? or do pretty people just exist around equally hot people? "Don't you think so?”
“I think Brian is hotter” you comment mindlessly, eyes skimming over an old magazine, way more interested in whatever drama Jelena had in 2014 than the never ending comments about her lover boy. You didn't have to worry about them hearing, they were so engrossed screaming over their match that you doubted they could hear their own thoughts.
You let your eyes drift over to the guy in question, and honestly, you were right. He was tall, muscular, had a pretty face and an even prettier voice. The only downside you could think of was the Mackiah sized lump attached to him, who really admired him, almost like the brother he didn't have, which made your friend scoff at the sentence. And while you plan on to keep rejecting him, you weren't deranged enough to go after one of his closest friends.
After a few more comments from your friend worthy of a pg rating and an F in a Bechdel test, you decide to run away under the pretense of making more lemonade. Even though you loved her, if you had to hear any more about ‘how great Kammy is’, you'd drown her, or both of them if she talked about ‘his way with words’ once more.
You take your sweet time making the lemonade, enjoying your freedom while cutting the fruit at the slowest speed known to man, really not wanting to get back to the torture that had been your friend the past half an hour, thirsting over her half naked man.
“Let me help you with that” you hear someone say, startling you. Mackiah wastes no time, taking the lemon out of your hand, his bare chest brushing against your back. If you hated summer before, you hate it even more now. The feeling of his naked skin brushing against yours was driving you insane, making you think inappropriate thoughts about your best friend's brother. It was all summer's fault.
“Got tired of playing?” you ask, moving to the side, partly to give him space to take over, partly because you needed the space, the brief contact making you feel delirious.
“Had to see where my favorite cheerleader went”
“I was hardly even paying attention” you say, staring at his hands squeezing the juice out of the fruit. There was no way you were thirsting over the guy you saw cry over math in this very kitchen.
“You still get the title,” he says nonchalantly, grabbing a new lemon. “Even if you were ogling at other guys while I was playing” he says, turning his face to look at you, his eyes scanning for your reaction.
“I don't know what you are talking about” you say, trying to sound disinterested, but failing miserably.
“So you weren't staring at Brian?” he asks, teasingly, although you knew there was an underlying tone in his comments.
“No?” You say trying to seem convincing.
“Are you sure?" he jokes.
“You know Jiho was always more my type,” you retort, trying to put some distance between the two of you, the literal nakedness warping your common sense. How nice his shoulders looked, and how good they would feel under your hands when he… What were you talking about? He's your best friend's brother, for God's sake! There’s no world in which you should be thinking these thoughts, you slut.
You clear your throat, looking away, and you can see his pleased smirk through the corner of your eyes.
“Not much of your type but you still ogle at me like that” he teases, a mocking smile adorning his face.
You groan in annoyance, slapping him on the shoulder, and he wastes no time grabbing your hand and pulling you closer.
“You can stare at them all you want, I'm not jealous,” his hands move up your arm, resting on your hips. You can feel his thumb rubbing circles on your waist, and you hope he doesn't notice the goosebumps that arise, or the heat that rises up your neck. “You know I’m still the best option.”
“I don't know, never been into younger guys” you really shouldn't let him be this close, even less letting his hand caress your skin, but you weren't the strongest warrior after all, and you would be lying if Mackiah now wasn't a real life adonis.
“And maybe that's what you need” he teases, his nose nudging yours. He was so close you could feel his breath on your lips, almost daring.
Just as you're about to retort, the door slides open, startling you both, prompting you to push him away. You turn to look at the source of the sound and find Kyrell standing there, a look of surprise on his face.
“I didn't see anything” he blurts out, shocked by the scene unfolding in front of him.
“There was nothing to see” you answer, grabbing the jug and darting out of it. You almost kissed him. If Kenzie had been the one to walk in, you would have been minced meat faster than you could have said sorry.
“I am gonna kill you” Mackiah threatened, turning to look at Kyrell who was still standing there, shocked.
“I deserve it,” Kyrell shrugs, accepting his fate. “But if it's any help, now I believe you have an actual chance”
“I always have.” he says, staring at how Kamden and Brian were now chatting with you both, feeling the jealousy he once had towards his best friends reappear now towards the canadian.
chapter six. reflections
If you asked your friend growing up what the downsides of being born in the middle of summer were, she would tell you that never having a party with anyone besides you and a few other kids who didn't go on summer vacations was her biggest complaint. But now, after graduating from high school, summer is the only time of year when your friends are in town, always present at your friends' parties.
You had spent weeks planning it, buying the drinks and decorations, even going to the next town to get the dress she wanted, after all, you had last year’s to make up for, so you weren't on the ground for complaints.
You were running late to the party. Sure, you were in the upstairs bathroom putting the finishing touches on your makeup, but people were already arriving. You hoped your friend would understand, since you were delayed by the almost impossible mission of making sure the guys hand the decorations the correct way. You should never leave seven boys with helium balloons unless you are ready for a rendition of Alvin and the Chipmunks.
You stare in the mirror, adjusting the little black dress your friend had thrown upon you, saying something about the dress code and how good it would look on you. It was a classic party dress, a stark contrast to her shimmery, silver one. The door bursts and Mackiah makes his presence known, mumbling something about a charger and annoying Kenzie before realizing your presence.
“Oh, sorry” he says, leaning against the door, but something told you that he was everything but that, really appreciating the view as his eyes rake over your figure “...Nice dress”
“Thanks, it's your sisters” you say, trying to not let his stare fluster you. He looked so good, blonde hair slightly messed up, black shirt unbuttoned. He looked like every girl's wet dream.
“You should get changed,” he says as he approaches you, making eye contact through the mirror.
“Why? Is there something wrong with it?” you try to not let his sudden closeness get to your head, even more as he closes the gap within you, pressing himself against your back.
“God, no” he groans, his hands finding your waist, caressing your figure through the fabric “But it's not very nice of you to outshine the birthday girl.” he adds, a pout on his lips that you don't know if you want to punch it off or kiss it better.
“I don't think I could even if I tried” you say, half joke, half truth. While you were pretty, so was your best friend, and tonight, not even a Victoria's Secret Angel could compete with her.
“You could steal the show if you wanted” he says, turning his face to press the lightest kiss on your neck “You are easily the prettiest girl tonight”
“Kiah…” you sigh, letting your head fall back to his shoulder. You knew you shouldn't let this happen, that this would upset your friend, but honestly, you couldn't find it in yourself to care at the moment.
He hums, not halting his activities, way more interested in his hands exploring the curves of your body, as if trying to memorize them, and his lips tasting your skin. He would be lying if he said he wasn't thinking about this ever since he saw you in the kitchen that morning.
Just as you are about to stop him, you hear a voice call for him, making him groan as he hears it, his forehead resting where his lips had been moments before.
“I am gonna kill him” he mutters as he recognizes the voice as Kyrell, asking about that damn charger.
“Dont, I like him” you tease, earning another groan from the boy.
“That's another reason. Just so you know” you laugh, expecting his answer “This isn't over.” He presses a fleeting kiss to your cheek, before leaving the bathroom as quick as he appeared, leaving you, eyeliner in hand, and a head full of thoughts.
chapter seven. his
Mackiah's life had been divided in two parts for almost as long as he could remember, before you and after you. He swears his life changed the moment you entered his house, even if you were just an awkward fourteen year old, he was still sure you were the most prettiest girl that existed (his own words). Ever since then he can't remember a moment in his life that you weren't his romantic interest, for better or for worse.
He's liked you since middle school, when you were the only friend of his sister who didn't act like he had the cheese touch. He liked you when you showed him around the school when Kenzie stood him up for her boyfriend on the first day, he still remembers the pretty outfit you had, and the perfume you wore, the one you still use sometimes. He was in love with you when he heard your then boyfriend brag about talking to other girls, and he fell harder when you parched him up after he beat him up, even pressing a sweet kiss to his cheek after you were done. A more than worthy reward if you ask him.
He still remembers the end of junior year, when you broke the news to his family over dinner that you were going to study abroad. While his parents congratulated you and his sister cried about how you were leaving her behind, he was busy thinking this wasn't how it was supposed to go. You were supposed to go to the same uni as him, realize he was the love of your life, graduate, marry and live in a white picketed house and have a dog. He had it all planned, which now was crumbling apart since it wasn't really that easy to make someone realize you are the person they should spend their life with when they are an ocean apart.
He acted like it didn't bother him, after all, it was just a dumb childhood crush, he was supposed to get over it a while ago, it was pathetic that he was as still as hung up about you like he was when he was fourteen. But when later that night he hears a knock on his bedroom door, opening to find you standing out there, in your pajamas and tear stricken face, looking as pretty as you always did, he accepts it hurts a little. It hurts even more when you hug him, hiding your face in his neck, sobbing about how you will miss him too.
And it hurts because you are not his, not his to hold, not his to kiss, and hell, not even his to miss. There's no reason for him to be grieving the departure of his sister's best friend. You technically were nothing of him, you could have slipped past like all the other friends his sister has. You could have slipped past like every other girl has. Yet he couldn't seem to even entertain the idea of being with anyone else. It has always been you, and it feels like it will always be you.
Senior year came by and it started with waving you goodbye from the airport doors. A low point if you ask him. Not much happened after then, sure, he had the usual last year experiences. Senior parties, school dances, which didn't interest him if you weren't there to reject him, senior prank, last matches of the year, after all it was the end of high school. Entertaining enough but always missing something, or better said someone. The someone who even if she was on a different side of the world still seemed to hold his heart in her hands.
His feelings for you reignited anytime he was reminded of your existence, which was way more often than he had anticipated. Whether it was his parents asking how you were doing, instagram stories of the life you were living without them, to those congratulations messages you sent him on special occasions, like his graduation, still awkward, still with a lot of heart emojis, now with the added of arriving at weird hours.
He had thought about getting over it, after all, you hadn't particularly given him a chance when you were here, and now he wasn't sure he would get to be on the same page as you ever again.
And then you came back.
Having known you since childhood, you would always be his first real love, the older girl he liked, his sister’s best friend. He always had a rather innocent view of you, sure, you had some boyfriends, and he heard the comments boys had to say about you, but nothing could have convinced him you were anything less than a saint. Well, they say distance makes the heart grow fonder, and you look hotter, it seems. He remembers his friends teasing him with how hot you were, mostly to irk him, and don't get him wrong, you were always the most beautiful girl in the world for him, but it was like he almost couldn't see it. But now, seeing you after a year, in simple jeans and a tank top, an outfit he had seen you in a hundred times before, he gets it. You are so attractive, in a way that feels slightly sinful, in a “cant even think around you” kind of way.
Something had shifted though, he could feel it. Sure, you weren't rude, but you didn't miss an opportunity to shoot him down. As nice as ever, it seemed like kill them with kindness was your life motto. But now, still as kind as ever, the banter that once rejected him had morphed into some kind of teasing included, almost like flirting. And he was inclined to believe, maybe deluding himself, that it meant he had a chance.
If someone had told fourteen-year-old Mackiah that, at nineteen, he'd kiss your neck and you'd sigh his name in the prettiest way possible, not die of repulsion or hit him, he was sure he would have spontaneously combusted right then and there.
Waiting downstairs for you to appear had been a more than difficult task than he had foreseen, even if he was busying himself with finishing the music set up, his eyes still darted to the stairs, where any moment down you would emerge.
To his bad luck, the moment you came downstairs, was at the same time his sister's friend group, the one you were a part of during high school, the one that you hadn't seen since like, forever. So from the moment you appeared, you had been held hostage by them, sitting between Keeho and Jiung as they catched you up on their lives, it seemed that getting you out of there would be almost impossible.
He couldn't spend the whole night staring at you like a creep, so he busied himself with the task of the speakers, and the side quest of making sure Seungmo didn't end up puking in the backyard another time. It only takes the minute that he goes to get a cable from the garage for a disaster to happen. Only this time is not Seungmo ruining his mothers peonies again, it's worse.
He sees it. You and Brian, chatting in the kitchen. He sees the way he leans closer to say some stupid thing that makes you laugh and slap his arm. And there's something about the scene that makes his heart break and blood boil. One of his closest friends and the girl he liked for years? He didn't know what hurt the most, you liking the guy he admired, that was everything he couldn't be, or the friend he considered an older brother dismissing his feelings like that, deciding you were worth ruining their friendship, after just knowing you for a few weeks. There was no way his summer crush came close to the way he felt about you.
He feels annoyed, completely over this whole ordeal. The mere idea of you dating his friend ruined the whole night for him. He decides to head upstairs, not really in the mood for drinking and having to see you with him anymore. He makes sure Seungmo is babysitted, and the speakers are taken care of before he retreats to his room under the pretense of a headache for the rest of the night.
chapter eight. actual chance
“He really likes you, you know” you hear a voice behind you say, as you finish making yourself another drink for the night. You get a deja vu feeling, only to be slightly disappointed to find Brian standing there.
“What? Who?” between the music and the slight alcoholic buzz you were feeling you could barely make out what the guy in front of you was saying.
“Mackiah, who else would I be talking about,” he says obviously, “Not that you are unlikeable, but you know, he's the fan club president” he adds, earning a laugh from you.
“And you weren't here during highschool, he was way worse” you say, taking a sip of your drink, “He really toned it down the last years”
“It must have been fun growing up with him” he teases, grabbing a can of beer from the table “If this is him toning it down I can't even imagine”
“Have you asked Jiho about it? I don't think he has forgiven him even now”
“Oh he hasn't, he said you were pretty the other day and Mackiah ignored him for like a week straight.” he comments. “and it wasn't like, a compliment. No offense”
“None taken” you say, knowing damn well how Mackiah acted, particularly with Jiho. “So, what brings you here?”
“Here in the town? uni. As for the kitchen? a question I need an answer to”
“Can I be of help?”
“I was hoping you had the answer”
“Shoot me, then” you say, already imagining where this was going.
“Does he have an actual chance? or is he a lost cause?” He doesn't need to say the name, and you don't know if it's the alcohol in your blood or the easygoingness of the situation, but you found yourself actually thinking for an answer for once.
“I don't know.” you say, after considering it for once “I feel like it's just out of habit, the costume of flirting more than actually liking me”
“Are you kidding?” he says, barely able to hide his shock (more like annoyance) at your confession “That man is head over heels for you. I didn't even know his sister's name but I knew how much that man liked you. He gave Jiho the silent treatment for a week just because he said the obvious and the moment me and Kamden arrived he threatened us to not even think about it. Even before warning us about his sister”
“Well that's one detail he forgot about” you say, eyes fixated on stirring your drink, suddenly feeling scrutinized under his gaze. You were ashamed at how stupid your concern sounded in the big scheme of things, everyone around you knew how much that boy liked you, and here you were, doubting him.
“Dont even get me started on Kamden, he's head over heels for Kenzie” he confesses annoyed, probably tired of his friends love lives at this point, having part of his summer break plagued by them.
“Really?” you say, interested in the prospect of your friend situationship having an actual future, completely not trying to shift the subject.
“Dont try changing the subject, we are talking about something serious here.”
“I'm not changing the subject, I'm just finding out some new information” you murmur, fiddling with your glass, “Besides, why are you so interested in my relationship with Mackiah? It's not any of your business"
“I have my personal reasons” he says nonchalantly as he takes a sip of his drink.
“As such?” you ask, not grasping why this man you barely knew had ‘personal reasons’ with your love life.
“We have a bet with the guys, and I might get a couple hundred bucks if I get you together by tonight,” he says, leaning closer as if he was sharing his deepest secret, not a dumb bet. “Also to get him out of suffering, that too”
“Selfish much, don't you think?” you tease, not expecting a bet to be the reason you were having this conversation in the first place. Thinking about it, you should have seen this coming.
“Isnt it selfish to keep him waiting around?” he leans closer, a teasing tone in his words “Common, put that man out of his misery”
“And if he doesn't want anything serious?” you say, lowering your gaze to your shoes. How stupid you felt needing reassurance in the things everyone deemed obvious.
“Y/n, there's no way that man wants anything less than marriage and children with you. Have you ever talked with him?”
You laugh, pushing him off jokingly. There's no chance you were actually considering doing it.
“There's no way he's not serious about you. For real” and while you barely knew the man in front of you, he seemed honest. Or maybe you just wanted to believe him.
You nod, taking in the information. You weren't ready for this, but if you didn't do it now, you probably won't do it ever. You finish your drink in one go, gathering strength for a long overdue conversation. “Okay, but you owe me a drink if you win the bet”
“Scouts honor” he says, crossing his arm over his chest, laughing as he sees you leave the kitchen in search of your man. Sure, he was happy his friend was getting the thing he allegedly has longed for for years, a chance with you, but there's a pang of jealousy in his chest at the knowledge that he probably would never get to know you more than this.
chapter nine. habits
You'd never had such a hard time finding Mackiah. If he was in the same vicinity, he tended to orbit around you, always close by. You had searched every room, the bathroom, the garage, the front and backyard, and had no luck. You even asked his friends if they had seen him, but they had all last seen him in various places, none of which were where he was. It seemed as if he had vanished into thin air.
You decided to resort to heading upstairs, the ‘prohibited’ part of the party, albeit that rule never hadn't applied to you ever since they started throwing parties,
You approach the last room to the left, the one with the stop sign hanging from the door. You can hear sound inside, but you can't make out if it's just music or conversation, so you opt for knocking the door.
“I already told you I'm tired” you hear him grumble as he opens the door, barely peeking “Go away”
“I didn't know you were tired” you could feel yourself shiver under his tired stare, there was no reason for you to be so nervous, it was just Mackiah for god’s sake!
“I'm sorry, I thought you were Seungmo.” he says "What do you need” his tone comes out a little meaner than intended, the image of you chatting with his friend having soured his mood for the night.
“I wanted to talk to you about something” you say, wincing at the shift in his tone. You couldn't remember a time he had talked to you in that way, and you didn't understand what made you deserving of it.
“About what” he didn't even budge, still not opening the door, and you can barely see him or his face, just a little sliver of himself.
“Can I come in? I think it would be better if we didn't talk through a door” he nods, leading you inside. You sit on the desk chair as he throws himself on the bed again, clearly trying to ignore you, or at least not look at you. You take a minute to stare around his room, taking in the different posters and decorations. Basketball medals, diverse photos with his friend groups, one of his old garage band, and a few where you are included. They go from older ones, from his freshman year, to the ones of your graduation, the two of you smiling to the camera, his arm around your waist. He had used his birthday present to get that photo of you two, (you got him some cds of his favorite band, but fulfilled his request anyway), a space next to it where the photo of his graduation should be.
“Why are you here?” he asks from the bed, staring at the ceiling “Is this about Brian?”
“What about Brian?” you say, thrown off by his question.
“You like him, don't you?” he states, almost like a fact, and you can hear the pain in his voice.
“What are you talking about?”
“Common, he's older, handsome, and you literally said you find him hot. I'm not stupid” he says, the edge on his tone feeling almost like a knife to the chest “It's okay if you don't like me, but don't get with my friends” he adds, a look of something you can't quite place on his face, a mix between disgust and pain.
“Where did you even get that from?” you ask, confused by his request, did he think you were here to tell him to back off?, and worse, did he think you really would date one of his friends? the one you only had one full conversation with? maybe you hadn't made your interest in him that obvious, but you couldn't imagine doing something like that, even less to him.
“I saw you in the kitchen, you looked awfully cozy” he murmurs, poison in his voice “You are here to tell me to give up? that you like him, right?”
“Im not here to do you that," You say, trying to keep your nerves together. “And we were talking about you back there, if it makes you feel any better”
“What about me?”
“He asked if you had a chance” he sat up, suddenly interested in the conversation you were having, no longer focusing on the ceiling.
“What did you say” now he could hold eye contact, his eager eyes finding yours.
“That I didn't know if you were serious, that I was afraid that it was a habit”
“You really think this is a habit” he deadpans, an annoyed expression on his face, making you laugh.
“I mean, I hadn't really thought about it” seeing his reaction, you felt even stupider about doubting him, remembering every birthday gift he bought you with his allowance, getting more expensive once he got an actual job, every birthday note of yours he had saved in a box under his bed he would deny every time kenzie mocked him about it, or every message he sent you while you were away, congratulations on your achievements, greetings, or sometimes just a simple this reminded me of you with a random photo, maybe you just had gotten used to that treatment for him, not realising how much it actually meant to him.
“Well, did you?” He asks impatiently
“What”
“Think about it” he says, those five years felt like a children's game compared to the few seconds you took to answer his question, even if now he was sure he knew the answer.
“I did” you say, going to sit up beside him on the bed, giving in slightly under your weight, forcing him to lean closer to you, you could feel his body heat beside you, only making your nerves worse.
“So…” he says, turning to look at you.
“So…” you say, fidgeting with your hands. “What do you want from this?” you turn to look at him, his face way closer than anticipated.
“Anything” he whispers, his eyes darting to your lips, “Everything, whatever you want.” He had been waiting for this moment for years, and he was willing to take any chance you give him to prove he was the one for you.
“Whatever I want?” you ask, scanning his face. God, had he gotten prettier during the last few years, really growing into his factions, going from a pretty boy to the most attractive man you had seen, “And if I don't want you?” you ask teasingly, leaning closer, making sure to graze his lips ever so slightly. Any other time, that thought would have sent him in a downward spiral, but now, having you in his bed, almost kissing you, he honestly couldn't care less.
“Then you should leave” he says breathily, “Because I don't know if I can control myself” He tried to give you an exit, a way out if you regretted this. You could walk out as if nothing had happened, sure, he would be devastated, but no one died from a broken heart. He would get over it and everything would go back to its natural course.
“Good thing I do then” you confess, quickly pecking his lips. So fast that if he blinked he would have missed it, but it was there, and this time it wasn't a product of his imagination.
You lean back slightly, to appreciate the expression on his face, the blush dusting his cheeks, his shocked stare like he couldn't believe what you were saying, staring at you like you had grown a third eye.
“Are you sure?" he asks hurriedly, pulling you back against him “You like me?” he repeats, his eyes scanning your face for any sign of discomfort, of this being a farce.
“Why wouldn't I?" you say, basically straddling him as he presses you against his chest, your hand brushing the hair out of his face "Don't tell Kenzie, but I had a little crush on you in highschool”
“You are unbelievable” he says laughing,
You nod, making him smile like a fool, “Just a little one”
“A little one" he mocks, his hands squeezing your waist “Had me moving heaven and earth for you to have a little crush"
“Had to make it worth it”
“Oh you are so worth it” his nose nudges yours, finally leaning in, this time in a real kiss. His lips finally connected with yours and while you had your fair experience, kissing had never felt so good. How he sighed into your lips, to how his hands tightened around your waist, pulling you even closer. The way he gasped once you straddled his hips let you know the wait had been worth it, letting your hands explore his shoulders, feeling your sanity start to slip away once you feel his taut muscle move underneath them.
“Wait, wait” he says, pushing you off slightly with a level of tenderness that makes your heart melt “I have never done this” well, there it was. His confession made your breath hitch. He knew you had previous flings, and he had never been bothered about these types of things, but now, under you, he needed you to at least know. He needed you to know that he was waiting for you to realize that he was the one, for you to realize that this was how it was supposed to go, with him, no one else. You knew that he never had dated, and he didn't seem the type to have one night stands. But the confession that he had basically waited for you made you feel euphoric.
“It's okay,” you say, pressing a peck to his lips, “Do you want to?” while you would respect whatever he wanted to do, you would be lying if the sight of him under you, disheveled hair and bruised lips didn't make you feel a certain way.
“More than anything” he whispers against your lips. If he hadn't dreamed of this moment he would be lying, and the mere idea of stopping seemed like dying right now.
With that confirmation, you push him to lay down on the bed, deciding that you must show him just how appreciated his wait has been.
chapter ten. leverage
You wake up to the sun shining through the window, turning over, trying to go back to sleep. As you move, you realize your pillow is suddenly more muscular... and longer... and has an arm around you... and can talk.
“Stop moving around, it's still early” he groans, his arm wrapping tighter, wasting no time pulling you closer, nuzzling his face into your neck, pressing a quick kiss.
“It's one pm” you complain, checking the clock on the nightstand. Your hand moving to his hair to stroke it as he basically drapes himself over you.
“Still too early," he mumbles, nuzzling deeper. You shiver under his touch, suddenly reminded of the intimacy of it all, laying against his naked chest, in just his shirt and underwear.
“I should go to the spare room before Kenzie wakes up” You say, already imagining the reaction your friend would have to the scene unfolding in his brother's room right now, knowing she would raise the roof if she found you half naked in Mackiah's bed. You attempt to get up, your hands trying to push him off of you, to no success. Even if it's an honest try, you fail, Mackiah holding you even stronger just to keep you tangled with him.
“You are insane if you think that I’m gonna let you leave” he says, pressing tiny kisses to your neck “You know how long I have been waiting to have you like this?”
“I have an idea” you joke, giving him better access “But she's going to kill you if she sees this”
“She has the audacity to get mad after fooling around with Kamden all sumer” you gasp, pushing slightly off of him to get a look at his face.
“You knew!” you say, feeling slightly betrayed.
“It wasn't that hard” he laughs at your reaction “Kamden can barely look at her without blushing, He’s whipped”
“Why didn't you say anything?” you ask, curious why he hadn't tormented his sister back, having more than enough reason to do so after being tortured for years because of his crush.
“Because I know how it feels to like someone he shouldn't" he says, his hand twirling with a strand of your hair. “Also because it lets me do this,” he says, pressing his lips to yours.
You can't help but smile into the kiss, your hands finding solace in his hair, earning a groan from him.
“You are going to be the death of me” he says, turning you over so he's on top of you.
“We should stop then” you say, breaking the kiss to mock him with a teasing smile.
“Dont. Let me die a happy man” he jokes, resuming the interrupted kiss. His hands waste no time making his way under your shirt, pushing it up slightly. Your legs move to accommodate him in between them, giving him better access. He hurriedly presses against you, almost as if wanting to become one, pressing kisses down your jaw and neck, and you can't help but whine under him.
To your horror, the door slams open.
“Have you seen y/… OH MY GOD!” Kenzie, your best friend, his sister, had just gotten herself up to day with your relationship status in what, frankly, was the worst way possible.
Mackiah lets go of you with a groan, turning to look at his sister, while you only could cover your face with your hands, not daring to face her.
“How could you do this to me? She's my best friend!” she complains, stomping in a way that reminded you of her younger self, having a similar fight with her brother about who got to sit beside you at the movies.
“The same way you do it with Kamden” he retorts. “Now get out. He's probably waiting for you” he teases, earning him a playful slap from you.
His sister stares at him stupefied, face whitening at the information that he knew. “Point taken” she says as she gets out, locking the door behind her.
“Now where were we” he teases, a smile on his lips as he turns back to you, pressing his lips back to yours.
outro: knew it was you
It's an awkward afternoon at the Mercer household. Well, more like night since it was way later when you both finally emerged from his room. You make your way to the kitchen, ashamed of your actions earlier in the day, not that you regretted it, but your friend having found you in such a compromising position made you wish for the earth to swallow you, even more when you looked at Mackiah and he had the smuggest look in his face, grinning like he had won the lottery.
As you enter the kitchen, you see the boys are already there, in diverse levels of dishevelment. Jiho laying on the counter, Seungmo on the floor, you had to double check if he was breathing, Siyun sleeping on the couch, Kyrell and Brian are the only ones who look awake and alive, chatting with Kamden who's drifting off on your friend's shoulder.
A silence interrupts the conversation as you sit on the aisle, Mackiah getting coffee for the both of you.
“Well look who decided to appear” Kyrell commented, earning himself a groan from you as you hid your face in your hands, not ready to face the relentless teasing that was awaiting for you. Mackiah laughs as he sits beside you, passing you a mug filled with coffee.
“Slept well down here?” he asks, feigning innocence and you never wished so bad that the man had an ounce of shame.
“Probably, not as good as you” Jiho comments, earning himself a slap on his neck from Brian, an easy task given his position laying his aching head on the cold counter. He groans, probably feeling the effects of the questionable amount of alcohol consumed last night.
Breakfast, or dinner, given how late you actually were eating, went without anything major happening, besides the relentless teasing from the guys, directed mostly to the boy beside you, who smiled bashfully every time they mentioned you as a couple, not even bothering to deny the down bad allegations.
Even if everything seemed alright, you could tell something was bothering your friend, who was pretty silent, laying her head on the shoulder of Kamden. While she said some comments and laughed along, you could tell she wasn't as cheerful as she usually was.
As the guys left the kitchen, something about a sports match that you really couldn't find yourself caring about, Mackiah finally letting go of you, not without pressing a kiss to your forehead before heading to the living room, leaving you and Kenzie alone in the kitchen.
“Are you mad?” you ask, already knowing the answer. God, you felt like the worst friend alive.
“I'm not mad, I'm just… sad” she says, and the tone of her voice makes your heart break. You knew this was a big deal to her, her best friend and her brother, you understood where she was coming from, even if you didn't fully agree with her ways.
“I'm sorry, but I really like him” you try to rationalize, knowing nothing you could say would make it better in the eyes of your friend. “I never wanted this to go this way.”
“I know,and I feel so hypocritical being mad at you dating him when im seeing his friend” she says, tears swelling on her eyes “but I can't help to be upset you choose him”
“I didn't choose him” you say hugging her, also starting to feel your own tears fall down your face “You still are my best friend and that won't change, even if I date your brother.”
“Yeah but now you are also his girlfriend” she says, laying her head on your shoulder, swallowing her sobs as she continues “And every time you come I will have to share you with him” she adds, sobbing harder.
You laughed at the sheer childishness of it, understanding where she's coming from. “You already did” you try to comfort her, “If anything, maybe now he will finally leave us alone” you try to show her a positive side.
“I feel like I'm going to lose you, what if he hurts you? and you never want to see me again?” she weeps,
“You don't have to be afraid of that, you won't be able to get rid of me that easily” you say, patting her head, after all, her fears were lowkey valid, even if you highly doubted Mackiah would do anything to hurt you “Also I trust you will avenge me”
She laughs in between sobs, laying her head on your shoulder “You really like him, don't you?”
“A lot” you say, a sad smile on your face. You hated the idea of ruining your friendship over a relationship “I’m sorry”
“Don't. God this is so selfish of me” She laughs, cleaning her tears on the back of her hand. “I'm happy for you, I really am. I'm glad you get to be my sister in law” she says, grabbing your hands.
“Im really glad you allow me to be” you respond appreciatively, hugging her as she calms down.
Once her feelings calm down, you pull away, deciding to make some instigation of your own.
“Okay, now you have to tell me what is going on with Kamden”
Later that night, you find yourself lying on Mackiah's bed once again, head resting on his chest as his hand plays mindlessly with your hair.
“I cant believe you are really here” He confesses, his hand trailing down your back.
“Back in the country or in your bed?” You joke.
“Both, even though the bed part shocks me more”
You snort at the comment, a comfortable silence falling over you, you can hear his steady breaths, only accompanied by the fabric rustling as his hand keeps its movements.
“Im really glad it was you” you say, turning to look at him.
★ y/n l/n: front(wo)man of the band, part time bartender. big fan of vintage rock, as she calls it. her favorite hobby is tormenting gunil, usually with the help of thing one and thing two.
★ goo gunil: drummer and voice of reason, and the angel in y/n's shoulder. tries, and usually fails, to prevent chaos from happening. fellow bartender to y/n.
★ lily morrow: singer, local australian for the band, and the devil in y/n's shoulder. any cuestionable choice probably has her stamp of approval. dj at the bar, probably there to launder money.
★ kwak jiseok: also known as gaon, or thing one. the guitarist of the band, resident evil agent. his day job is to be a runner at the bar. even if hes seen more often smoking in the alley beside it.
★ lee jooyeon: bassist, and also runner. he actually does the job, unlike gaon, with the added a few glasses a week. he calls it giving back to the community, getting rid of the chipped ones.
★ oh haewon: manager and host, both jobs no one knows why she has. way over qualified for both of them, aced in getting gigs for the band. over their shit by now, though.
★ cherry bomb!: currently in hiatus, will they be back?
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taglist: @saranghoeforanton @gukbbong @beamyniki send an ask or leave a comment to be added!
in which you come back to your hometown, deciding to take control of your life once again, coming back to the bar and trying to get your band back together.
or in which Kamden tries something new, and ends up falling in love with the pretty girl behind the bar.
PAIRING: Na Kamden x reader
WARNINGS: kys jokes, cursing, drinking and smoking. Extra warnings will be added to the chapters ☝️
STATUS: coming soon! posting once a week, every thursday
NOTE: NOT based on my own disgraces (we cheered). ive had this cooking for half a year so it was time for this to see the light of day!
Send an ask or leave a comment to be added to the taglist!
★ summary: everyone has their breaking point, even more when it has been years of obsessing after you.
★ warnings: literally nothing lmao
★ a/n: uni is kicking my ass so you better be grateful this is being posted today, i fell sleep twice on the bus today
★ permanent taglist: @blubb0 @gyubvlin
You know when people say you can tell love at first sight exists? well, if you had asked literally anyone that had been subjected to whatever the relationship between you and Seongil would tell is that you two were the perfect example.
You weren't the closest of friends, hell, neither of you would consider the other top five. but there was something, a vibe, a feeling, in the air whenever the two of you shared a space that had been really hard to explain or hide.
Sharing friend group only made it worse, since everyone was a witness to the dancing around the very obvious truth that for some reason you two acted as if it was forbidden for you to indulge in. Like a it was a crime to kiss a friend, or the world would explode if you talked about it.
It had been like this for years. Your relationship dwindling and adapting to the different realities, high school was one thing, where you would indulge in napping on his shoulder or he would throw his jacket over you, as a way to stake a claim. Shared playlists, Instagram dumps, and close friends stories could always been seen having the others name written across it.
Then he got a girlfriend, and how could you be mad if you and him had never been anything more? did all of those small things, gestures, details, mean something, or were you just hoping for the impossible? to add salt to the wound, everyone seemed to agree she was your clone. Same style, same likes, same boyfriend.
You didn't dwell on it, you were just friends after all, and even if he had stopped replying and was basically ignoring you, so what? it was his choice. Focusing on Yechan's brother and his friends was a better idea, and he had a blonde friend who played the guitar that had been liking your stories for a while, whats the worst that could happen?
Rebounds where never a good idea, even less when you still see the reason for it everyday, who's also in his own situationship from hell, sporadically appearing to remind you he still cared, and he still was as hot as the last time you saw him.
Seongil didn't have it easy either. At some point you had distanced from your original friend group, deciding Keeho and company were more interesting (seeing the photos of you perched across the blonds lap made his blood boil, even if he was in an on an off relationship with the other girl), and now it had been a year since he last saw you, the last message in your chat was wishing you happy new year, and he doesn't know if he should reach out, what should he say? what can he say? his thumb hovering over the send button.
i miss you (message not delivered)
Clubbing had become one of your new hobbies. All of your friends did it, and who would say no to having a great time, maybe a little more? The only downside you could think was hows often you ran into people you knew, but it was never that bad, so why would today of all days be different.
Luck had never been on your side, you discover as soon as you enter the club. Yechan and company was there, and it made sense, his brother probably passing down all the contacts he shared with you with the next Yoon generation and co.
You could feel his stare on you all night long. And maybe you were ramping it up just for him, who knows. It's not like you had something against the guy, and if you could get some fun out of riling him up, you would. And it drove him insane.
Seongil and you were probably playing the most played game in the establishment, a game where your only goal is to make the other fold, a game of seduction if you want. You could sense the desire in his gaze while you danced with your friends, barely moving from his spot.
It takes a little while for Yechan to realize who is standing on the other side of the club, wasting no time in calling towards the blonde, signaling for them to join your equally small group.
There's almost no time until the other guys join your little trio, startling your girl friend. You didn't understand how she still got surprised even if Yechan joining your little group was the most common occurrences of your nights, making you wonder if there was another reason for her nervousness around the guy. You weren't complaining this time, at least, you needed some entertainment for the night.
You can sense the confusion from her once she realizes you seem quite pleased with the new additions to the group, letting the dyed blonde stand way closer than any other guy that had even dared to come near, or better said, you had ever let them. She hadn't been around the worse part of your relationship with Seongil, lacking all of the history between the two of you. yet there was no way she could miss the way he seemed to be devouring you with his eyes, and how you relished in his attention.
She shoots you a questioning look, announcing loudly that shes gonna get a drink, if you wanted to tag along, giving you a clear way out if you needed, but she couldn't blame you if you stayed.
"Do you want something to drink?" you turn around, fully facing him for the first time of the night, tone as teasing as you could muster. You were grateful for how caring your friend was, but you weren't going to waste the opportunity that you had been waiting for. You would get him all to yourself tonight, and if you played your cards right, you could get him under you faster than he could expect(?
"Everything i need is right here" Seongil says, maybe a little more forward than intended, stopping you on your tracks as his hands wrap around your waist pulling impossible closer. You can hear Yechan and the other friend hoot and holler at the scene, and you wish he had an once of shame. Your friend had left not that long ago, but you doubted she would be back any time soon since the other handsome guy had followed her, under the pretense of getting another drink, which you knew probably would end up watered down as they find themselves busy against a random wall, and you hoped for the same luck.
"Good to know" you tease, your hands finding their rightful place in the back of is neck, fingers tangling in the longer strands. The smile that adorns his lips is so pretty you almost feel bad for wanting to kiss it off. Almost.
You still wont make the move, way too invested in winning whatever this was to fold just now. He had been the first to pull away back then, and you were going to make sure he would be the first to fall now, even if you also haven't the process.
"Haven't seen you in a while" he teases back, his hand drawing circles in the naked skin of your waist, raising bumps against his contact. So close you could almost feel his breath against your skin.
"I've been really busy" you say, trying to keep it as light as possible.
"Got bored of your other boy toy?" so he knew. You had been been seeing Theo for a while, nothing special, even less when compared with the man pressing against you right now, and you would have been lying if that comparison hadn't been what ended up ruining the chances of the poor boy you strung along, not that you could care about him in this situation. It was supposed to be a rebound anyway.
"Something like that" you answer "And you? what took you so long?"
"Waiting for the right moment"
"Took another guy threatening you to make a move?"
"Not exactly." he says, nose nudging yours "what i wanted to do doesn't seem appropriate for uni, and that's the only place saw you for a while. Kind of disappeared on us."
"Should have told your little girlfriend to loosen the leash and let you party like you did before, I saw the guys plenty at 82" you say, bullshitting smile on your face, "besides, what could you want to do? that it's oh so bad?"
"Ex girlfriend," he clarifies, the tone on his voice making it clear he doesn't want to entertain even the idea of her, and it makes you smile, kind of. "you know whait I want. Been obsessed with you ever since I first laid my eyes on you."
"Didn't seem like it with how long took you to make a move." you tease, pulling apart just to fuck with him. He smirked, clearly enjoying the banter.
"Again, doesn't seem appropriate to fuck your brains out in a uni bathroom"
"Oh really, where would it be an adequate place?"
"My bed, to begin with" he says, as if this was the most normal proposition he could do, to fuck you, ruin you, quoting his own words, like it was an invitation for coffee.
"To begin with?" once again, playing dumb. You both knew that the moment it happened, there was no way back, no other person made you feel like him. Something about Seongil made your brain short circuit, no other random hook up, boyfriend, or anything could rile you up like the guy you never kissed.
"When I get my hands on you, I plan on making it worth the wait." he says, leaning ever so closely, your lips barely brushing.
"Hey lovebirds" you hear Yechan call out to both of you, and you can't help to cuss the boy for interrupting "we are heading out to an after party at Seongbin's, you coming?
"I'll drive her home, don't worry" Seongil says, and you turn to look at him, questioning look in your eyes "haven't drank anything you can check"
You shrug your shoulders in agreement, as you turn to Yechan, who was waiting for confirmation.
"Yeah yeah, don't worry" you say "beside we wont all fit in a cab"
"I'm sure that's the reason" he teases, and you wish that he wouldn't be so shameless.
as fast as he came, he disappeared in the crowd, leaving you once again in the odd privacy of the club with Seongil.
"now where were we" Seongil says, as if he was thinking where the conversation had been left, hands turning you around so you are once again pressed against his chest.
Before he can add anything else, you decide to take matters into your own hands, inhibited by a mix of the alcohol running thru your veins and the lack of familiar people around, giving you a new faux sense of privacy. You press you lips to his, a kiss so needy it puts every other one to shame.
The way he groans into the kiss, the way his hands press you impossible closer, roaming the naked skin of your waist. It all feels obscene right, the way you two fit each other. And you curse yourself, and him, because if this is how good it feels, you would have taken the public bathroom.
"Lets get out of here" and you couldn't find it in yourself to say no. Not that you wanted to.
