before you proceed ... angst&comfort, reader calls haechan 'hyuck', idol!haechan, reader uses she & her pronouns, mentions of mark's departure i'm sorry in advance . .
"hyuck" before she could fully process that he was standing infront of her door, he quickly wrapped his arms around her.
"i'm fine... dont worry"
she quickly took him in and returned the gesture. "hyuck... im so sorry i haven't been there for you full-"
"no..." he cut in softly, but firmly. "don't apologize. you have nothing to apologize for."
she immediately shut her mouth and pulled him even closer when heard the slight shake in his voice.
as she slowly guide him to the sofaโstill not leting goโhe instantly pulled her right back into his arms, as if he really needed her there.
it stayed quiet for a few minutes, just the comfort of each other's presence. that was until donghyuck decided to speak up.
"i'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I just... didn't want this to feel real. I thought that if i didn't say it loud... it would hurt less. gosh, I can only imagine how czennies must be feeling right now."
"hyuck..." she gently tried to pull back, wanting to look at him, but he immediately pulled her back in so that she wouldn't.
was he really apologizing? even earlier, when she saw his bbl message, the first words she saw were i'm sorry, along with a comforting paragraph. knowing he did not need to apologize for anything and is one of the people who needed to be worried about the most.
"i'm happy for him you know? i really am. but- it's just- i don't know." he continued, his voice quiter now.
she didn't rush to respond. she just stayed there, with one hand slowly rubbing his back. a steady and warmth gesture, as if it was something he could hold onto when things got a little bit too much. all she could do right now was to hold him close and repeat the words "it's okay."
"i'm sorry i've been a bit off lately, I really tried to-"
"hyuck." she whispered, gently. "you don't have to keep apologizing. not to me. not for this. and please stop thinking about everyone but yourself."
he fell quiet, slowly pressing his lips together. still not meeting her eyes. but this time, he didn't pull away, and that was enough sign for her to continue.
"i know you're sad and hurting." she continued, voice even softer now.
"I don't know how long you've known about this, but for however long you did, you've been so strong, hyuck. you really have. fck i can't even imagine how you must be feeling right now, and it hurts knowing you've been carrying this for so long, staying strong for everyone else. but you don't have to do that, not with me. gosh, hyuck, you're out here comforting everyone, reassuring everyone.. when really, you need to reassure yourself."
normally, he would've laughed at the way she spoke so quickly, barely pausing, as if she was rapping. but right now, all he could do was listen, letting every word sink in.
"y/n..." he murmured softly into her hair. it wasn't often that she saw this side of him. yes, he opened up sometimes, but he always tried so hard to keep things in.
everytime she asked why he does that, he would simply smile and respond with "I promised to make you happy and take care of you, so why should I burden you with my struggles?" and everytime, she'd gently press a finger to his lips to remind him that he would never be a burden to anyone, especially not to her.
and now... seeing him like this, unable to hold back the way he usually did, was enough to make her chest ache.
"i love you. i love you so much, hyuck." she whispered, holding him tighter, fighting to hold back her own tears. "you've been so strong for everyone. for him, the members, the fans. you're always the first to comfort everyone." her voice softened even more. "but you don't always have to be that person. you're allowed to feel like this. and you're not alone, you'll never be alone in this. not when me, the members, and so many other people that appreciates you are here with you."
she leaned her head gently against his before continuing again. "i'll always be here, okay? I'll go with you when you switch between schedules of the two units so you'd feel less alone. i'll even dress like mark if you want." she let out a small, shaky laugh to lighten the heaviness just a little. "i'll even pretend to be one of your manager, like that one time, just to be with you. and you know that mark will come visit whenever he can, I think we all know that."
that was all it took. the quiet reassurance, the steadiness in her voice, the way she didn't rush or expected anything, everything finally break through.
the tears he had been trying so hard to hold back (which was half out during the encore) finally fell freely. they were slow at first, then all at once, and this time, he didn't try to stop them. and for once, he let himself be the one who was comforted.
notes. hey... might take a while for me to fully process the information, but I genuinely hope the best for him. after seeing that announcement, I couldn't help but also thought of haechan so :((( thank you for all the hardwork you did mark lee, they will always be cherished by czennies!!
hey so mark ๐ฅน๐ฅน๐ฅน i can't even process this. i literally tried to think positively when i saw dreamies members sobbing their eyes out... thinking like maybe they were just emotional that they've came this far and now....... honestly, i hope the best for you mark lee and i hope you get all the rest you deserve and also do the things you've been wanting to do!!! gonna miss seeing 7dream and mark in nct 127 but i'll forever cherish those moments and all the memories you've made. thank you mark lee, we'll see you when we see you ๐ฅน๐ฅน
