@theartofmadeline
Jules of Nature
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JBB: An Artblog!
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Cosimo Galluzzi
Three Goblin Art
RMH
noise dept.
Cosmic Funnies
One Nice Bug Per Day
NASA
Not today Justin
hello vonnie
$LAYYYTER
ellievsbear
seen from Malaysia
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seen from Iraq
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@xali-katx
Reviving Old Hobbies
After not only surviving but also winning NaNoWriMo 2023, I kept up my writing momentum throughout most of December. Something I’d call impressive considering I worked extra hours, caught a nasty cold, and travelled during the busy holiday season to spend time with family. After Christmas the momentum of my writing died down a bit, and I ended up reviving an old hobby–visual storytelling. Well,…
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When plans unfurl and then you're a pantser
I’m about 40,000 words into NaNoWriMo now, and the project I thought I’d be working on didn’t pan out. I started it. Book 3. I wrote the first 6 chapters, and then I wrote a few random future chapters, and bits and pieces of a scene, and I was like, “This do be some heavy shit.” And then I froze. My emotional capacity for what I could handle tipped to overload, and I lost under the mounting…
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NaNoWriMo??
The only consistent thing in my life as an AuDHD-er is how inconsistent I am… And the irony isn’t lost on me. I’ve thought about writing a blog post for a while now, but every time I sat down I couldn’t think of anything to write… so I didn’t. There hasn’t really been much going on (I say that, but tons is going on). I’m still on pause waiting to hear back from my editor about the first book in…
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I know you better than anyone.
Fredrick Backman / "Orestes" / R. Arnold / "Theseus" / Clementine von Radics, "Mouthful of Forevers" / "Orestes" / Ernest Hemingway, "The Garden of Eden" / Hannibal / Nickypage
Mother Nature, and Creative Breaks
I haven’t written much since summer started. I’ve been working, and relaxing, visiting friends, and family, and generally trying to find joy. The most important lesson I’ve learned recently, is that there is healing in joy. “Productive” is a relative term. I don’t have to be working to be productive. In fact, I feel that I’ve been very productive this summer, but not in many ways I can show…
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Managing Creative Overwhelm (or not)
Here’s the thing about coming out of an extended creative burnout: It’s so easy to get overwhelmed by the possibilities. Let me explain. Over the next little while I’d like to re-vamp this blog which will involve researching similar blogs, engaging in the community, re-organizing my layout, and overall planning an actual direction for this blog. On top of that, I have 3 active WIPs, one of which…
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The Thing About Active WIPs
I made a new folder on my Google Drive called “Active Writing” in an effort to try and help me organize the countless folders I have filled with stories from all aspects of my life, whether it be school writing projects, or collabs, my main book project, and even story concepts. It was all over the place, and I was always having to go back and forth, and then scroll through to find whatever I was…
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I Posted a WIP!
I started posting a WIP. I have several scenes written, and a few more planned. It started as a short story, and turned into a Novella. You can see the information about it below. Almost Dawn (1165 words) by Amara262Chapters: 1/?Fandom: Unspecified FandomRating: Teen And Up AudiencesCharacters: Anna Quinn, Ezekiel ColeAdditional Tags: Original Fiction, Fiction, Trauma, Healing, Post-Traumatic…
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Getting Over Paralyzing Writer's Block
I didn’t realize it’s been eight years since I posted here. A funny thing happened that younger me thought I was impervious to… Writer’s block, and creative burnout. Let’s go back. Waaaaaay back to the year 2016 when I was knee deep in edits, in discussion with an editor, and broke af. Being broke was as easy as getting a job, unfortunately the job created a lot of additional stress. Combine that…
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TOM HIDDLESTON | Interview for Thor: The Dark World | 2014
You’re a little too pleased about it, Thomas.
“You can’t love someone unless you love yourself first” Bullshit. I have never loved myself. But you Oh god, I loved you so much I forgot what hating myself felt like.
My thoughts before I go to sleep. (via constant-nxthing)
Typewriter Series #300. Signed Prints of this beauty make rad gifts. They are up in the Chasers Shop! (at Helena, Montana) https://www.instagram.com/p/ColBtL0PTJN/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER 1.12 | “Prophecy Girl”
autism just keeps winning
it’s because gender is stupid and autistic people aren’t
[025/100] Buffy the Vampire Slayer scenes → 4.07 “The Initiative”
Loki Laufeyson Portrait by me
Ooooo, I've been trying to develop new style, and after seeing @enstatia 's work I've been inspired to do something like that! I hope y'all enjoy!
Do not repost or steal my artwork.
As an autistic person I’m very confused by the idea that “making friends is easy if you put yourself out there”
How do you know who to even talk to?
I’ve had someone say “just go to the same places/groups and eventually you’ll meet someone” but like wtf does that even mean?
Do I just walk up to a person I notice a lot? Me knowing a person due to the fact that I see them often enough to remember their face is drastically different than a neurotypical talking with me apparently.
Idk if I’m just missing social cues or what but me just talking to someone about things I enjoy usually gets me a “this dude is weird” stare.
Mostly just angry at the fact that people say its easy when they don’t realize the mental gymnastics autistic people go through even talking to someone they’ve met before
It definitely isn't easy, but I think I've figured some things out about it, so I'll share what I have used to make friends the past few years. It's a very slow process for me that takes place over months, so you may need to adjust to suit you.
The going to the same place / groups is definitely good advice, but it's extremely incomplete advice! It's just the first step! But apparently allistics don't need more steps than that because they just... know what to do? But we sure don't. SO.
The main thing I do is to think of making a friendship as slowly increasing the amount of time and (emotional) depth when interacting with the person. So depending on how social the space you're in is, (i.e. going to a coffee shop has different social expectations than, for example, a drawing club) you can just start small, just acknowledging each other's presence. Like maybe brief (<1 second) eye contact and a nod, or a smile, or a greeting like hello. If it's a social club or something, it might be appropriate to introduce yourself right away with your name and why you're there.
I do that for at least 2 separate occasions (aka different days) and then increase either how long, or how deep, our interaction is, very gradually. So I start with the same level, of like a smile or a nod or a hello, and then I add something else to the interaction. Usually a good next step is the "small talk" level. So a comment on the weather, current pop cupture, or asking how they're doing. If things happen in the group or setting you're in, comment on them to the person. Even just a "sure is busy here today, huh?" works. Don't expect deep answers or engagement, this is just the social calibration phase. You want to see if they are willing to engage with you and if they start initiating interactions as well.
I continue this level for another few occasions, but if the other person starts engaging more, I mimic their level of engagement. If they share about their family or partners, you can share about yours at a similar level of depth. Some people will small talk for like 10 minutes or dive right into whatever is going on in their life, and others will just give minimal responses, but I find that is usually not related to whether or not they want to be friends, but how extraverted or socially comfortable they are.
After several occasions of doing this level of small talk, I increase it by asking slightly more personal questions - for example, "do you have any fun plans for the weekend" or "how was your weekend" depending on what day of the week it is.
If they mention something specific, ask a followup question if you can! Even if they say they're just going to watch tv, you can inquire what shows they like. Asking questions is a great way to get to know them better and see if you are compatible friends. It can be hard to think of questions on the spot but with practice it gets easier. Looking up "small talk questions" and remembering them so you can have some to fall back on can be helpful.
It's at this point I also share things about myself - just surface level, usually nothing huge or deeply personal or heavy. This is a good place to talk or ask about pets, as most people really enjoy talking about their animals if they have any.
With that, you keep going, and after a while (can't give an exact timeline because it's different for literally everyone), you can hint at deeper things that are going on in your life. You don't usually want to just talk all about them to someone who barely knows you, because that is uncomfortable for most people. But you can sometimes allude to them, and then that gives the person the chance to ask more if they want to hear more.
Side note: This can backfire when meeting other ND folks, as a lot of us have taught ourselves "not to pry", so when someone else hints at something to me, I always thing "I shouldn't ask in case they don't want to answer, they'd tell me if they wanted to tell me" BUT I'm learning it's okay to ask in open ended, low pressure ways. i.e. just going "yeah?" In response lets them either expand upon it or just go "yeah." if they don't want to say more.
Anyway these are the strategies I use, obviously it won't work in all situations for all people so take what helps and leave what doesn't! This is just what I use as an autistic AAC user and otherwise ND person so I thought it might help others too.
The way I do it is by going to a place where there is an activity around a shared interest. The activity/interest means there is A Subject for Conversation. That was the missing piece, for me.
as an older person, I still reliably make friends by asking people "so what are you passionate about at the moment?" and then listening and it's so often like watering a dry plant
