It just doesn't make sense

Ahn Sohee || Technological Manipulator 21 || Straight || Single Tent: Cottage: Disclaimer: This is a blog for a rp only. ________________________

[namsushi]

[xcirque-sohee]

A Beautiful Nightmare || Sohee x Joonmyun

[cirque-joonmyun]

Eyes carefully taking in all of the girl’s injuries, he failed to notice the familiar warping of the world around them, the darkness that manifested his power being shapeless for just the first breath of a moment, as he fought to catch his own, eyes running over the crisped arms and the varying stains of black. She looks like she had just lost a fight with a robot, honestly, and his worry peaked even further, as Joonmyun stupidly wondered if the generator had been completely decimated, or if it could still potentially hurt them.

He was snapped out of his morbid speculation by her voice, it unsurprisingly very pretty, though her question made him wonder if a piece of the metal hadn’t knocked her in the head, poor thing.

Until he noticed the darker lightly splayed over her, it all too familiar to him.

Joonmyun nearly felt his heart stop when he realized that they had been pulled into her worst fear, and he knew he had to let go of her to make it stop, but something about this manifestation just didn’t seem right –he knew he was still breathing heavily from his run, so why couldn’t he hear that, in this god awful silence?

Free hand raising to his mouth, he felt the breath there, before it hit him what her fear must be. Concern colored his features as he watched her begin to tremble, and he steadied his resolve, grip tightening on her skinny arm even further, before he forcibly yanked his hand back, careful not to tear anything or hurt her. Joonmyun just knew, for whatever reason, that his power didn’t like allowing him to be the master of it so easily, his body locking whenever that kind of contact would be made.

However, when he could identify it, he would win. That was no more obvious than in the events surrounding them, how the black seemed to break down the moment contact was lost, and how his breath was once again akin to the snarl of a stalled car engine. Fear had a grip on him now, Joonmyun hating that he had to have a victim at all, not to mention one that looked so sweet.

“I’m so sorry,” his voice cracked with nerves, and he took a hesitant step back, looking like a rabbit trying not to bolt, as he continued wearily, “I heard the explosion, I had never expected for that to come out…god I’m sorry. And you’re hurt from the explosion as well! Oh this just isn’t a good day for you… Do you need a doctor or a nurse or something?” He babbled, trying and succeeding not to pace as he spoke. “I never meant, I never…”  he bit sharply at his lower lip, before murmuring a hoarse, “I’m not normally so clumsy, I swear.” Though that was a bit of a lie. He just didn’t think he was, though so many others could refute that. Hopefully he hadn’t scared her so badly that there wouldn’t ever be a next time with anyone, though.

[xcirque-sohee]

Focusing on trying to comfort the obviously frightened man in front of her was incredibly difficult, but Sohee knew that she had to do it if she were to be able to live with herself. She had absolutely no idea what was going on, but she did know that she had somehow dragged him into her fears. Fear of a total darkness and a silence so absolute that it would cause a person to slowly go insane. However, the overwhelming loneliness that settled in on top of everything, despite her being able to see the man in front of her, was what she feared the most.

And then, the contact was lost and the darkness vanished. The sound of her own heart was like war drums beating directly in her own ears. She tried to figure out what had happened while chasing out the loneliness that she still felt. It was only then when her eyes moved to the man who still looked incredibly frightened. Without asking, she had found out his power. She frowned softly, eyes tracing the lines of his body. Sunken cheeks, bones showing where they shouldn’t…He was quickly wasting away. Was that a part of his ability? An overwhelming urge to care for him welled into her heart.

Even though her head was still spinning and the burning from her forearms had returned, she pushed herself to her feet. She gave him a small smile. “You came running to help me when I clumsily blew up a generator. No one else cared to come make sure I was alright.. I should know better than to touch an electronic with my bare hands when my emotions have the better of me…” She limped over to him and put her arms around him. “Seriously, thank you.” She said, lowering her arms softly and wincing at the movement. She made sure not to move too quickly. Whatever had happened had frightened her, but she knew that like her, he must just not be in control of her ability.

“And… You have no reason to apologize. My fears are overwhelming. I am truly sorry that you were dragged into them as well,” She said, giving him a genuine smile, though it was a bit strained from the pain that the explosion had caused her. The frightened look that he had on his face made her heart hurt. “We’re both ok, that’s what matters..” Ok was apparently a loose term in that moment, as she was still in a bit of pain. “I think that I just need bandages and a painkiller… The burns aren’t too bad and my head is spinning, but I should be ok… That isn’t the first time something has blown up in my face…. Ahhhhh Hongki is going to be really angry with me…” She whined, eyes moving to the wreckage that had once been the cirque’s largest generator.

[freak-jiyong]

a guilty mind :: sohee & jiyong

It was starting to become clear to him that he was never going to find information from the real source. He always had to stop himself and think, “Dara is gone.” The more he thought about it, the more questions had sprouted and he had a need for some kind of answer, even to just one question. Jiyong thought Dara loved the circus, but apparently he didn’t know much if she just up and disappeared on him like that. He knew he kept a few secrets from her, but not enough to make her up and disappear, right? He felt a lump in his throat, and even as he tried to gulp it down, he still felt it there. To be guilty and regretful was the worst. He happened to be both.

Deciding on searching for others, he went down his mental list of people that Dara knew of when a certain face came to mind. There was a small girl that Dara always hung around, mentored even. Jiyong never took much of an interest in her until now, as he wondered if there was anything she might have known about Dara that he didn’t know. Hell would freeze over before he turned to Seungri for answers, so this girl seemed like the only other slightly reliable option. Now he had to find her.

Jiyong took some wild guesses, checking Dara’s tent to no avail, checking the food area to find nothing, before he took his business elsewhere and decided to look around Dara’s favorite working station. It moved with every pick-up-and-go the circus made, but it was always set up relatively the same way. She was the girl in charge of the mechanics in the cirque, so of course her “student” would work in a relatively similar field.

Peeking his head in, he frowned at the sight of a girl – a girl that wasn’t Dara. Jiyong remembered when he stumbled in to one of Dara’s working areas and completely destroyed some wires, making them spark up and giving them both a heart attack. He wouldn’t do that to the woman that was working in there in that moment, considering he wasn’t there to cause havoc this time around. Her name was Sohee, and she was “talented.” It was a little vague, but it was his last shot to getting answers about just where this woman disappeared to, and why.

“Excuse me?” he stepped into the space, breaking some of the distance between the two persons. “Sohee?” His voice was gentle. He was trying to be nice and press down his dying anticipation and anger at the situation at hand. Jiyong glanced down, his lip twitching at his own slowness with proposing a question. “I want to talk to you… about Dara,” he got right out and said it. What was the point of trying to make it fall into conversation? He had a feeling that the girl already knew what he wanted as soon as she realized he was there. “I was hoping you’d…” he pursed his lips, hating that he felt sorry for himself. “Give me something to work with here. A reason or a possible reason. Or something.”

He really wished he didn’t fumble with his words like that. “.. Do you know what happened to her?” 

[xcirque-sohee]

Sohee had gone out of her way to avoid Jiyong since Dara had left. Why? Because she didn’t know how to word what needed to be said. Words were still hard for the naturally silent girl, and she would be lying if she said that she wasn’t scared of Jiyong. She had never talked to him, but she did know what his powers were. Dara had explained in detail how his ability worked and she wasn’t keen on the thought of him getting angry at her. She knew that the longer she put it off, the worse it would get, but she couldn’t help but find herself afraid.

She was currently working on stuff in one of the equipment tents when suddenly someone called her name. Startled, she squeaked and stood straight up too quickly, smashing her head on one of the lights. A yelp escaped her lips and she dropped her wrench, her hands moving up to her head. However, the wrench fell heavily on her food, causing another yelp as she stumbled back, effectively landing on her rear end. A small whine escaped her lips as she tried to figure out what hurt the most. Her head throbbed where she hit it but it felt like she had broken a few toes by dropping her wrench on it.

“J-Jiyong-ssi?” She said, eyes widening as she forgot about her own pain. She had been trying to avoid this situation. What was she supposed to say? Did she tell him what Dara had left in her note or did she just say that she didn’t know? Her heart went out to him and she knew that if she lied, she would never be able to forgive herself. “Y.. Yes I do know…” She said, sighing and standing up, wincing as she put pressure on her now injured foot. “I…. I just didn’t know how to tell you…”She mumbled, looking down and fidgeting with her hands.

“Dara left because of past issues… I don’t know if she ever told you, but she used to buy, sell and trade information with gangs in an effort to have the gangs destroy themselves.. She got in too deep with the triads, though and they found out about her. Staying here…. It would have put everyone at risk and she couldn’t handle it…” She sighed and rubbed her own arm, looking up at the object of her mentor’s affection. She knew that she was better off leaving out the part that Dara emotionally could not handle the fact that Jiyong loved CL more than he cared for her, Jiyong did not need to suffer more than he already was. “She gave up a life with us so she could keep us, her family, safe… Any lesser person would not have sacrificed their happiness like she did.”

[xcirque-sohee]

A Beautiful Nightmare || Sohee x Joonmyun

[cirque-joonmyun]

Joonmyun had been startled to hear that he had made it as far as Shanghai when his unconventional host had asked him why here. He honestly had no way to answer that then, and still didn’t now. He believed something had drawn him here, a part of his fate-fearing self wondering if it had been so he could find this place, because something else bad had to happen here. It was a scary thing to consider, but he literally had no energy to run anymore, and he felt safe here, something he didn’t anywhere else. These strangers gave him a sense of kinship he hadn’t felt with anyone since he lived with his mother, and therefore he would treat them as much like family as he could remember how.

And family members ran to the rescue when it sounded like someone had just blown up a microwave.

He had been listlessly wandering, too sick of enclosed spaces to stay within his tent, even with how exhausted he was, so he heard the boom loud and clear.

Eyes going wide with fear, him immediately wondering if the drug lord had found him, he ran toward the noise, worried that someone had gotten hurt for him, when he reached the site of the strange happening. Blinking once, he took in the destroyed generator in with a sense of disconnect, it only kicking in when he saw the injured girl on the ground. Okay, so it hadn’t been what he had expected, but someone was still hurt and he couldn’t just leave them there. His conscience would never let him. So he ran over to her, eyes taking in the strange black marks, and he asked, “Are you alright?!”

When he reached her, he dropped down beside her, emotions starting to run out of whack due to his panic that she literally might have been fried alive, and he took her hand, thumb trying to find her pulse. Thankfully, he had found it, and he sighed tiredly, glad that he had misunderstood, without realizing that the anxiety still twisted strongly in his gut…then began to feed on the small remnants of food in his stomach from the night before. Joonmyun hadn’t noticed the telltale gnawing in his stomach to tell him what was about to happen, due to his focus on the girl and he asked in a soft, worried voice, “What happened…? Did something malfunction?” Part of him really wanted to ask if there was anything he could do, but truth be told, he knew nothing about bones or burns or whatever and didn’t want to risk making it worse. “Is there someone I should call?” He asked in a low voice, him trying to think of something, as the darkness started to manifest around them both.

[xcirque-sohee]

Sohee’s ears were ringing so loudly from the blast that she hadn’t even heard the footsteps approaching her. Sohee opened her eyes to try to figure out what was going on, but the world was spinning so fast that she closed her eyes again. She groaned and threw her arm over her eyes, trying her best to keep the vertigo at bay. How long would she have to lay there before someone came to help her? She knew it would probably be awhile before she’d be able to get up on her own.

However, it was only a few moments after these thoughts passed in her head that someone was touching her and a voice was speaking to her from behind the ringing. She concentrated on the words and opened her eyes, squinting at the face of the person hovering over her. Normally she might have blushed and told him she was ok. “I… think..” She said breathlessly, finally realizing just how much her chest hurt and how much her arms burnt. She tried taking a deep breath and opening her eyes again.

However, his blurry face seemed different. Shadows Danced across it. It was like he was flickering, fading away and yet she knew that he was solidly there. But that wasn’t the only thing different. A weight pushed down on her chest and she forced herself into a sitting position. She looked around, wide eyes at the darkness that had seemed to overwhelm them. What… what was going on? She opened her mouth to speak and mouthed “What’s happening?”. That was when she realized the final part of what was happening.

The deafening silence. Her own words did not reach her ears. A sudden, terrible loneliness set in as she realized that she could not communicate with the person in front of her. Panic welled up within her and her breathing quickened. Her body started to tremble in fear. What was happening? How was she supposed to get out of it? And then she remembered the man who had saved her. He was with her too. Was he scared as well? She had to remember that she wasn’t alone in this, even though she felt like it. She turned to look at him, brown eyes focusing on his face. She focused on his face and tried to smile at him through the fear, to let him know that he wasn’t alone. For what was the point in trying to speak when he wouldn’t be able to hear her?

[asiansgeneration]

[k-popbeauties]

[waraq3nb-deactivated20171120]

[xcirque-sohee]

A Beautiful Nightmare || Sohee x Joonmyun

A frustrated groan passed over Sohee’s lips as she thought aboutr everything she had to do that day. How the hell had Dara kept up with it all? It was like there was no end in sight. She felt like she no longer ever had time for herself. People now came to her to fix their electronics. As soon as lights went out, it was her. Whenever the generators broke down, it was her issue. She was to the point of frustration that she wanted to give up and just walk into Shanghai on her own. She hadn’t even been able to go into town since they had been there. Was this how Dara’s life had been? She wasn’t sure that she wanted it. And yet, everyone seemed to expect it of her, so how could she tell people that she wouldn’t do it?

It was simple. Ahn Sohee had to stick with the job, even if she didn’t want it.

Sohee grunted as she pulled the generator out of the tent to an open area to work on it. Apparently it had stop running, even if the gas tank was full. Her grip started to slip because of the rubber gloves she was wearing, but she knew that she had to be incredibly careful when touching the generator so that she didn’t totally screw it up. She knew that the circus didn’t have much money, so she had to be incredibly careful. She couldn’t remember how many times Dara had just asked her not to touch them because she didn’t want them damaged. “Did she even realize what she was leaving me with?” Sohee whined, pulling out her wrench.

It was soon apparent, however, that the little crevices in the generator were too much for her to be able to get into with the large gloves on. In frustration, she tore them off and threw them to the ground. Why she thought it was a good idea, she would never know. She leaned forward, wrench in hand, and pressed her palm up against the machine to keep her steady as she worked. Her eyes widened as the generator kicked on.  However, it was working much harder than it should have been.

Oh. Shit.

A loud explosion filled the air as the generator tore itself apart, the force flinging sohee back to the ground. Her forearms were burnt – not too bad, but enough to hurt a bit – and her skin was blackened from the smoke now billowing from the remaining pieces of generator. Sohee whined loudly and laid back, closing her eyes as she tried to force the ringing in her ears and the spinning in her head to vanish. Hongki was going to kill her.

[xcirque-sohee]

No Turning Back || Solo

Sohee frowned at the letter again, furrowing her eyes as she tried to really grasp the meaning of the letter. Dara was gone.  But how could she be? Dara had been there with her for the entire year that she had been a member of the circus. The older woman had taught her so much when it came to fixing things, and had been one of the few that Sohee had fully trusted. But she had just… vanished. Of course, she had left a letter on Sohee’s cot, explaining the situation. Yet, she was only instructed to let a few people know. Namely: Hongki, Ahyeon, Jiyong, Seungri and CL know why she had left.

The smaller girl sighed and sat down, eyes scanning through the words. Dara had gotten in trouble with the triads many years back, and had honestly not want to put anyone in danger.  So, she had packed up and vanished, leaving Sohee in charge of maintenance and repairs. But was she truly ready? Thinking about having so much responsibility on her shoulders… was it really too much for one person to take? Sohee had hardly thought of Dara as a person, as horrible as it sounded. She was more machine than most of the actual machines in the camp. And yet… Sohee sighed, reading the last part. Dara had found out about things that had happened between CL and Jiyong and knew she couldn’t stay. Could a computer really be heartbroken?  Sohee decided she would hold that information from everyone, not wanting to make Jiyong’s life more miserable than it would already be with Dara vanishing.

Sohee held the letter over a lighter and watched as the flames engulfed the paper, words vanishing in small puffs of smoke. Her eyes rose, following it up into the sky. Somehow, she at least knew that her former mentor was safe. But she knew that if she didn’t step in, Dara would have been disappointed. Sohee flipped her wrench up and put it in its holder at the side of her belt and sighed, looking out the tent flap. How exactly would she go about telling people that Dara was gone, though?

A small groan passed through her lips as she realized that everyone would expect her to fill Dara’s shoes. They were the shoes of a giant, would it be possible for someone as tiny as she was? She pushed her way out of the tent, squinting at the vanishing light. Well, it was time for her to at least tell the leaders. People had a right to know. Did this mean she would actually have to interact with people? Another groan. People made her nervous, but there was no turning back now.

[sunnyinfinite]

[yo-nyeon]

[asiansgeneration]