insomnia.

( offline ) literate krp, multiship, 18+ ❝ everybody's hurting, there's nothing more human than that. see the pieces of heart's missing, but watch how the light fills the cracks. ❞ drafts: 03 memes: 06

[whiskerwonderland-blog]

—        he tilted his head to the side and considered that, and yeah, his fears probably weren’t warranted. leilani had the two most loving parents in the world, and she appreciated that, which was more than he could say for other kids. she was also so well behaved and happy — he had no reason to worry, and yet he did. ”hm… I’m sure I’m worrying about nothing, but it’s hard. I think part of it is because I miss her when I’m at work, too. it’s… weird, being surrounded by all these kids and missing my own. I almost look forward to moving up now.“ he hadn’t love his love for teaching children, but any means, but he didn’t quite have the energy he used to, and he didn’t want to come home to his own daughter, tired from playing with other people’s kids. that wasn’t fair.

           ”do you burn them? perhaps that’s why,“ he answered softly, a small, teasing smile coming to his lips. ”even the waffle have bunny ears. you just can’t escape me…“ he can only hope that lighthearted joking calms them little by little, helps them see that they’re an important part of the family. ”juno, I cannot tell you the number of times she’s told me that he wants to be an artist ‘just like daddy’, you have a strong influence over her.“ of course, she wanted to be everything ( 'like barbie’ ), but artist was her most consistent choice in career.

           alois nodded, resting his head against their shoulder. ”mhm, I’m so sleepy…“ he whispered, kissing the damp skin on his neck, ”pamper me.“

[xdcwncast-blog]

—         juno understood what they meant, even though he didn't really know how to vocalize it. "everyone feels like they could've done something better, but...you and i both lucked out. we have a beautiful little girl..." draping his arms around their neck, his fingers card through their wet locks as the warm water streams over his skin; slow and sensual kisses given after every little reassurance. "...and a home. each other...and all the time in the world to figure out all the silly stuff in between." 

          the smile causes his heart to flutter, brown eyes shining mischievously as he gives their hair a little tug ( not enough to hurt ). "maybe that's because i'm not trying to escape you? i'm pretty proud of myself for having caught you. rabbits are quick and i'm not all that nimble so...it's a miracle." patting their hip and holding them for just a little while longer, he sways and mentally files away the things they say so that he can look back on them when days are long and tiresome. all juno wanted was for his daughter to be happy; surrounded by love and support and never having to deal with things alone. if alois was the superhero, he was fine with being the shoulder to cry on. as long as she loved him. 

          nodding and sealing the discussion with one last kiss, he takes the soap and loofah and lathers it up so that he can give his man the care they deserve. "mm, of course, baby..." starting at the front of their chest, he scrubs gently and keeps a hand on their waist so that they don't fall asleep on him; attention focused on assisting them and nothing else now that he was in 'loving husband' mode.

[xdcwncast-blog]

atlas & beck

[whiskerwonderland-blog]

—        beck catches on that they’re upset, but doesn’t acknowledge it vocally. he’s learned from past experience that atlas liked to appear tough and in control, and that any form of comfort should be subtle enough that they can convince themselves that it’s just a coincidence that beck got cuddly at that very moment. he can’t blame him, either; atlas has had to be tough for so long, he didn’t seem to know how to be vulnerable. so beck accommodates, because he loves him, and he wants him to feel comfortable.

           silently, beck stroked his hair, twirling a few soft strands around his finger as he marvels at how pretty the color is. “I’m too tired to get out of bed,” he said, pouting. that wasn’t entirely true. he was tired, but if atlas would have wanted to get up, he could have. “besides, I don’t feel like getting dressed. speaking of which, can you take off my collar for my?” he doesn’t think atlas has ever seen him with it off, but that was simply because he didn’t often remove it. right now, his skin was sticking from sweat, and that didn’t combine well with leather.

[xdcwncast-blog]

—         it's unspoken that atlas realizes they get it; beck understands him and even though he wished he wasn't a puzzle worthy of solving, he's glad his lover is so talented in that area. they don't force him to speak about the tears that are slowly forming, or point out the fact that he's visibly shaken. the beautiful laying beside him just touches him gently and enjoys what they have right now. love was definitely the word atlas had been looking for and he'd used it perfectly, even after all those years of avoidance.

          at the mention of the collar, atlas nods and sits up so that he can see them better in the lighting. the thin sheet lays draped over his lap, eyes taking a second to focus as he hovers over them and carefully undoes the little fastening that holds the leather strip on. it doesn't take him a long time, item falling away so that he can lay it across the nightstands surface in a straight line right beside his monitor. "there you go, angel..." moving back to lay down again, he takes the opportunity to kiss the newly exposed patch of skin and ghost his lower lip over their drumming pulse point. "...better?"

[whiskerwonderland-blog]

—        alois smiled as he felt their arms wrap around his waist, their skin hot as ever against his own. “I love you too, baby,” he whispered, craning his neck to kiss their temple. “I’m sure you would have found someone almost as good as me if we wouldn’t have met,” he said, reaching out to check the temperature of the water so he can adjust it to their liking. he’s glad they met, of course, but juno was more valuable than he thought. even if he didn’t have alois, he would have found someone. his life just wouldn’t be as perfect.

           “I’d like that.” he said, laying his arms over juno’s, effectively holding him in place. “I wish I was more involved in her life, you know? like… I know she notices that I’m not there for her as much as you are, I have to work and study and while I don’t regret any of that, I fear that she’ll grow to loath me for my absence.” leilani doesn’t seem to harbor any negative feeling towards him now; if anything, she’s always excited to greet him when he comes through the door, happily running to hug his legs. but he’d be an idiot if he didn’t say she seemed sad when he had to leave in the morning. all part of having a kid, every parent had to go through it, but it still wasn’t easy. “she’ll be a lot like you though, so that’s good. maybe she won’t be so obsessive over things being perfect like me.”

           he doesn’t dwell on that for long, gently ushering them toward the shower. “come on, let’s get you washed up, baby.” he followed him into the shower, shoulder relaxing in the hot steam.

[xdcwncast-blog]

—         "doubtful. i'm positive that you were created for me. you're too perfect for there to be another explanation..." juno wasn't a huge believer in higher powers and outcomes people couldn't control, but when it came to his finding alois-- the stars must've aligned. stretching a bit taller to rest his chin on their shoulder, his brows knit as he listens to them vent; hand still trailing their side as he feels his heart grow heavier and heavier with every word they speak.

           "baby, our little girl could never feel that way about you. i mean, you are busy but that's only because you're trying your hardest to provide the type of life that you were lucky enough to have. trust me; i grew up in a situation where i didn't have a father who cared. our angel has two that would do anything for her..." he'd seen how her lit up when alo entered a room, heard the happiness in her voice whenever they played with her and held her close. leilani loved the man who felt like he wasn't good enough, and no power could change that. "if anything...i'm the one who should feel lesser. you're a superhero and i'm just...the man who makes her bunny-shaped waffles every morning." 

          his train of thought is brought back, heavy eyes blinking twice as he nodded and entered the steamy shower with no argument. they were babying him and juno loved it, affection being something he would forever crave. "shouldn’t i be spoling you?"

[xdcwncast-blog]

atlas & beck

[whiskerwonderland-blog]

—        beck laughed, slapping his shoulder lightly. “can I at least catch my breath first before we start making out again?” the way atlas looks at him makes his heart flutter, the soft, loving look in his eyes unmistakable. he very much feels the same way; atlas looks like art in front of him, and although he doesn’t have the eye to properly appreciate it, he knows beauty when he sees it. he knows that this is something he wants to see over and over again on a regular basis.

           they nuzzle into his neck and beck raises a hand to rest on the top of his head, gently smoothing down his messy blue hair as if he was petting him. he has to strain to his hear, with how muffled his words are coming out. so when he hears the word ‘love’, he isn’t quite sure if his ears are deceiving him. he paused for a second, before realizing that he could very well be leaving them hanging, and goes out on a limb to return the gesture, even though he isn’t entirely sure that’s what they said to begin with. “I love you too, atlas,” he whispered, pulling back so that they weren’t hiding anymore and he could look at them properly. “I’m so glad I can finally call you mine.”

[xdcwncast-blog]

—         the pause is almost deafeningly silent, atlas' eyes closed tight as he listens for their reply. what he hears isn't at all what he expects, heart dancing happily and hanging heavy with a dreadful sense of melancholy in the same instance. beck loved him, and he loved beck. they were together and love was supposed to be everlasting, but that wasn't the case. tears would be appropriate, but the elder won't allow such a thing to ruin this as he inhales a shaky breath and just holds them closer. strong hands wander the expanse of their bare back, allowing no space between their chests as he just repeats those five words over and over in his mind. 'i love you too, atlas.'

          his mouth is dry, eyes looking at them as the lump in his throat is swallowed and he tries desperately to keep this up. keep up the playfulness and the loving touches that make your heart feel okay again. "w-we don't have to get out of bed, right? i...i really just want to hold you." that was the most exposed thing he'd ever said, deep voice wavering as he tries to disguise it with a laugh. "since it's been decided that we belong together and everything..."

[whiskerwonderland-blog]

—        “no, not really,” he answered honestly, letting their little bout of anxiety roll off of his back. honestly, he isn’t sure why it is that juno feels like he falls short of perfect at times, but alois is more than happy to remind him that he’s loved for his flaws, no despite them. “that ‘loser covered in paint’ has been supporting me for years, keeping me from driving myself insane… you know, when I asked you to marry me, I didn’t take it lightly. I still don’t. you’re everything I wanted in a husband and more, so stop your worrying.” sure, they might not be perfect in every one’s eyes, but they were perfect in his and that was all that mattered at the end of the day.

           like that, they’re back to normal, teasing him about being just 'pretty good’. “really? because I think i have a back catalog of texts that say you think I’m a lot more than just 'pretty good’,” he replied, gently slapping their ass as he passes to start the water in the shower. “and you’re more than 'almost fuckable’, I’m just tired and old.” that was a poor excuse, seeing as juno was older than him by a year. it wasn’t like that they didn’t have sex, either; alois occasionally passed the kid off to his parent or one of her uncle so they could have some quality time together, their relationship was perfectly healthy, they just had many, many nights like this where both of them were too tired to function.

           “what are the plans for tomorrow, anyway? it’s a weekend, but I’ll still have work to do during the first half of the day,” he hated how busy he was, but there wasn’t much he could do about it. he was trying to make things better for all of them. “so if you’re planning anything fun, save it for the afternoon. I don’t like feeling left out.”

[xdcwncast-blog]

—         the little smack causes him to jump a bit, brows lifting as he looks back and tries to retaliate ( but he misses, unfortunately ). his hand swipes the air and he just decides to let it go, body leaning against the counter as he shamelessly checked them out from a small distance. "i love you." the level of sincerity in his voice is obvious, love and admiration hidden beneath a little grin as he walks forward and links his arms around their waist. "the only person in the world who's ever been able to make me feel better, and he's mine forever..."

             the couple was dysfunctional in subtle ways, each man having their own issues; but, somehow, when they came together it all made sense. they balanced each other out and made a beautiful life that anyone would be envious of. that's why juno worried; he didn't want to see the man he adored overwork himself. time was something that always seemed to be passing and now that they had a child, missing moments with his husband left a bad taste in his mouth. still, he was worrying and they had just asked him not to. 

          sighing and kissing a trail down the curve of their spine, his body moves away from alois' as he goes over his list of activities for the next day."hmm, leilani has a doctor's appointment in the morning and then she really wants to get ice cream in the park...but i'm sure i can convince her to wait a little while so that we can all go together."

[xdcwncast-blog]

atlas & beck

[whiskerwonderland-blog]

—        beck nodded, taking note. he didn’t exactly know when they needed the heart monitor, but he’d try to put the pieces together on his own without asking; he doubts they’d want to talk about their heart at a time like this. he should be enjoying life, not worrying about it. he sighed as he feels them caress his thigh, leg currently draped over theirs so that he could press himself impossibly closer. he feels kinda hot cuddling them like this, but he doesn’t mind if atlas doesn’t.

           beck laughed, leaning up to kiss their cheek. “if you say so, but just know that if you get kicked out, I can’t take you in. I already have one annoying roommate,” he teased, despite the fact that atlas wasn’t annoying in the least ( and if anyone was the ‘annoying roommate’, it was beck, constantly spending the night despite having his own place. ) at his question, he paused for a dramatically long time to think. “yeah, I guess,” he said with a shrug, before breaking out into a smile. “of course I still like you. if anything, I like you more now.”

[xdcwncast-blog]

—         "sex like that and all i get is a kiss on the cheek?" he jokes, body turning a bit so that he can face them. beck looks perfect, pristine even; blonde hair unkempt and cheeks rosy. taking a mental picture and filing it away, a sense of sadness tries to creep in but he suppresses it by burying his face in their neck and rubbing his cheek against their skin. "well, that's not exactly what i wanted to hear but it's better than nothing. i'll just have to try harder next time..."

          a woozy feeling comes quickly, passing after a second of silence and coaxing him into a light yawn that he decides to ignore. atlas didn't really want to go to sleep yet, eyes and body tired while his mind was wide awake. "for the record, though, i sort of...kind of..." love you. he did, but it was always a well-known fact that saying that after sex was a little unsavory. still, the idiots that came up with that rule probably didn't have faulty wiring. "...might l-o-v-e you." his voice is muffled, still audible but choppy. it had been said, though, and if beck heard it...atlas was prepared for the worst.

[whiskerwonderland-blog]

—        “you were implying that I wasn’t valuable before I was your husband,” well, he wasn’t, alois was just joking, but clearly that had gone over their head. they really must be tired. he’s given them countless lessons in context and they still having learned, what a shame. he rises to feet and stretches, trying not to yawn. moments like this were when he felt the most old. “yes, sir,” he replied, giving juno and leilani both a kiss before he headed back to their bedroom sleepily.

           he shut the door lightly behind him, taking his time unbuttoning his shirt. after all, he wasn’t in any rush; as tired as he was, he was keen on spending what little time before he passed out from exhaustion with his husband, so if he could stall, he would. he’s nearly stripped down completely by the time juno join him, alois greeting him with a lazy smile as he shred his final layer of clothes. it takes less than a second for them to hurt themselves, causing alois to shake his head.

           “practice,” he answered, drawing closer to help them undress. it wasn’t necessary, and if anything, he was probably slowing them down, but he liked undressing them. that was just the fact of the matter. “you’re still sexy, too. in like a… ‘if I wasn’t so tired I’d fuck you’ kinda way.” he doesn’t know if that’s really a thing, but he deems it to be one. he’s sure they both feel that way right now.

[xdcwncast-blog]

—         rubbing his eyes with both of his fists, he looks up just in time to see them moving closer; pout prominent as he lifts his arms and doesn't at all object to the gesture. juno and alois just sort of flowed, actions accepted without any question. sure, he was capable of taking off his own clothes but if there's a beautiful man who's willing to do it for him, why squander the opportunity. he does assist in his zipper though, head leaning against their bare chest as he tries to keep balance and shimmy out of the denim.

          "i'm a mess. don't you get tired of coming home to a loser covered in paint...flailing in the kitchen and injuring himself constantly?" he was trying his best, but despite all the growing up he'd done-- juno was still juno. he'd burnt himself cooking for their second date and he was still burning himself now, just not as often. the childish bandaids were still a thing, though. 

          fabric pools at his ankles, hands resting at alois' hips as he tugs their underwear away and leaves them completely nude. then, he does the same for himself and nearly trips on air once again as he guides them into the small bathroom. "i'm honored that you still find me 'almost fuckable' after all this time..." glancing back over his shoulder and winking, he catches sight of himself in the mirror and immediately lets his eyes drift to admire them. "i guess you're pretty good too. i can't really complain." alois was better than good. he was everything, but teasing them was fun even if juno was barely awake.

[xdcwncast-blog]

atlas & beck

[whiskerwonderland-blog]

—        beck was panting, worn out in the best way possible; his skin was practically glowing in the dim moonlight, every inch of his drenched in pleasure and contentment. he rolled over onto his side lazily, shifting his head onto their shoulder and his hand finds their chest, silently monitoring their racing heart as he’d done periodically before. his heart is racing, as expected, so he keeps his hand firmly planted there until he starts to slow down. “do you need those wiry things again?” he asked dumbly, too spent to think of the actual word.

           “sorry in advanced if your neighbors file a noise complaint, by the way,” he mumbled, apology insincere. if he’s being honest, he doesn’t really care; if atlas like the noises he made, he wouldn’t silence himself for anybody. he nuzzled their shoulder, spread soft, lazy kisses across whatever skin he could reach, affection heightened. “you can’t tell me that wasn’t worth getting potentially evicted for, though.”

[xdcwncast-blog]

—         atlas rests his head against the pillows, hair utterly disheveled and eyes closed as he tried to find his sanity and steal it back. considering how much fantasizing he'd done, it was a general assumption that he'd be able to handle and recover from this whole thing rather quickly. that wasn't the most accurate thing, he was discovering, body numb and tingling in the best way he couldn't even describe if he wanted to. speaking seems like too much work now, his adorable boyfriend already moving onto worrying as he still lays there in this catatonic state of bliss and fucking euphoria. running his hand up and down their thigh ( was that where his hand still was? ), a little shudder hits him like a delayed aftershock as he shakes his head and groans a little 'nuh uh'. 

          reaching up to cover his eyes with the back of his arm, he chuckles and places his other hand atop their as they take note of whether or not he's near death. "it was more than worth it...and they can get over it. especially since i plan on doing that again. and again...and again..." forever and ever, ideally. atlas doesn't want to move, so he just inches closer to them and searches for a sheet to drape over his bare lower half ( as if that mattered ). "still like me?"

[whiskerwonderland-blog]

—        ”yeah? And you didn’t have anything valuable back when it was just you and me?“ he asked teasingly, gently pushing him away after the bite. ”I should make you sleep on the couch tonight, but I’m not going to because I’m nice.“ now that he thought about it, he doesn’t think he’s ever actually made them sleep on the couch. they fought like any other couple, but he usually got over it by the time sleepiness was getting the best of him. perhaps it was because he was mature, or perhaps it was because he valued kindness, but he didn’t stay upset for very long, and he didn’t get upset often.

           eyebrow raised, alois peered up at them as they pushed his ears back, trying to maintain a straight face. ” is that really still amusing to you?“ when they let go and he feels his ears shoot back up, he has to stifle his laugh with the back of his hand, not wanting to wake up the baby. for all his pretend annoyance, he actually likes when juno touches his ears, likes how gentle he is after all this time, likes how comforting and warm his hands feel in contrast to how cold he gets. ”my smart boy…“ he replied teasingly, patting their thigh twice.

           alois smiled, poking juno’s side as their shirt rides up. ”hm, that sounds nice,“ he whispered, stretching his arms out in front of him. ”as long as you promise the the majority of the time will be spent getting actually clean, I’d love to join you.“

[xdcwncast-blog]

—         "sleep on the couch? why??" he'd missed something apparently, hands resting in his lap as he cocks his head to the side and frowns. "you'll freeze to death!" alois could pretend all he wanted, but juno's cuddles were top notch and there was no denying that. slipping off of the couch and laughing under his breath, he rolls up his sleeves and crouches down to kneel beside the child. carefully gathering her up in his arms, he cradles her close and keeps the blanket covering her as she doesn't seem to wake.

          "just go to our room, get naked, and shush." no frisky business was intended ( at the moment ), brow arched as he sticks his tongue out at them and fumbles to turn the tv off with the remote. it takes him a couple of tries, but he does eventually succeed. as soon as the room goes silent, he carries his daughter back to her room and tucks her in. the door remains open, as always, nightlight beaming as he brushes her hair back and kisses both cheeks with a little smile. "sweet dreams, princess..." 

          stepping back and leaving the space, he wanders into their bedroom with his eyes closed; exhaustion no longer hidden as he runs into the dresser and stifles a groan. “how is it that you’re still sexy when you’re sleep deprived and i’m just clumsy?”

[whiskerwonderland-blog]

—        alois wrinkled his nose, “you’re starting to sound like me. what happened to the carefree man I started dating four years ago, huh?” okay, so maybe juno wasn’t that carefree, but there was a time when the hybrid was undoubtedly the ‘worrier’ in their relationship. not much had changed, the more he thought about it, and yet… everything was different. it was nice, in a way. he looks down at their hands, a small smile forming on his lips. “I still can’t believe all of this happened, but I’m so glad it did.” it felt like just yesterday they were being set up on a blind date, but that was years ago. it’s all gone by so fast.

           the kiss, though short, leaves his breathless. perhaps it was because he was so tired, but everything about them was intoxicating. he wanted more, to follow their kiss up with several of his own, but he knew better than anyone else that there was a time and place for everything. soon enough, they’d been alone again. he could wait.

           he supposed he couldn’t argue with that. he has accomplished a lot; looking at his life, he saw nothing but great achievements, goals met long before he thought he’s actually manage them. he’s doing well, and a little break wouldn’t ruin that. “alright, you’ve convinced me. but don’t make a habit out of it, okay?”

[xdcwncast-blog]

—         "i'm still carefree but i have a lot of valuable things now. like a family and a future." he responds, tone sassy and challenging as he bites at the apple of their cheek and growls ( all of it being completely playful, of course ). it was true that he'd changed his perspective a bit, but that wasn't something he could help. meeting alois had been the one amazing thing that had changed his life for the better and made his dreams come true. the kid who had grown up with no one was now a man who had everything. 

          leilani was fast asleep now, movie playing in the background as he lightly stroked the tall ears that rested atop his head; fingertips gentle as he sits up and brushes them both straight back, smirking as they go right back to the way they'd been before. "oh, shush. i'm allowed to be right every once in a while, okay? i'm smarter than i look..." 

          narrowing his eyes and falling straight back, his arms are held high as he stretches ( paint covered shirt rising up as he yawns and hears his back 'pop' ). "have you had a shower yet, baby? i was gonna grab one real quick...seeing as how i'm still covered in acrylic. we couldsave water and take one together? after i put her to bed again.."

[whiskerwonderland-blog]

—        with the kid resting ( and hopefully drifting off soon ), alois lets himself relax, eyes fluttering shut at they massage his neck, followed by his shoulders. he’s too stubborn to have asked for it himself, but it’s exactly what he had needed after the long, draining week he’s had. he knows that juno is there for him, that he could ask for a massage or rant to him about his day and the other wouldn’t complain, but it’s hard for him to ask that of anyone, juno included. it’s a but hypocritical, because he’s always harping on about how important it is to express your feelings, but he doesn’t often do it himself. he just keeps in all of his stress until he has private a meltdown.

           juno seemed to know that was coming, though, and was doing everything in his power to help the tired hybrid. it was hard to say no when they know his weaknesses. the soft caress of their nose against his jawline, as well as their whispered request that he just take it easy tonight, sent shivers down his spine, and he was so weak to everything about that. if he was capable of slowing down for anyone, it was juno and juno alone. no one else got to him like this, no one else could break down his walls. “I suppose it wouldn’t kill me,” he whispered back, eyes opening slowly to gaze over at juno. “you don’t have to worry about me. I have to two cutest people in the world looking after me,” he replied, kissing the tip of their nose.

           “it’s hard for me to just turn that off, you know… the desire to overachieve,” he replied, leaning his head against their shoulder. “it’s in my bones. but… I suppose I can always finish studying when she goes down for a nap tomorrow.”

[xdcwncast-blog]

—         triumph blooms in his chest, a soft small tugging at his lips as he peeks around them to see leilani already close to dozing; little eyes tired and lids drooping despite her best attempts to stop it. the cup he'd given her was loosely held, little arm hanging off the couch as she takes up the entire last two cushions ( again, very much like like juno ). alois was agreeing to go sleep soon, and their daughter was already there. 

          "i know i don't have to worry, but i'm still going to. for better or for worse...it's my job to take care of you and make sure you're taking care of yourself." taking the man's hand and toying with the wedding band they wear, juno threads his own fingers through the spaces as he refuses to accept the cute little kiss as his only reward. moving in and locking his lips with theirs, he keeps it to a three-second minimum before pulling away and going right back to 'behaving'. 

          "there's nothing wrong with be motivated, sunshine. you just have to remember that you've already accomplished so much and the world won't crumble if you take a day to catch up. plus, i'm here tomorrow and i can keep up with the little angel while you do whatever you need to. my business is pretty flexible and most of the work can be done whenever i have the time. we'll figure it all out."

[whiskerwonderland-blog]

—         leilani giggled brightly, apparently thoroughly impressed by juno’s mushu impression, regardless of how accurate it was or wasn’t. alois has seen this movie perhaps a million times ( both with how own daughter and with his class ), and yet he still can’t recall what the character’s voice actually sounds like. he didn’t dislike it — if anything, he thought it contained a powerful message — he’s just seen so many children’s movies that they all sorta blended together at this point.

           alois’ smile grew as they returned, reaching out for the mug with careful, steady hands. “thank you, babe. you’re the best,” he said. leilani insists on blowing on it for him, ‘you’ll get burned, daddy!!’ — her little lungs don’t do a great job, but he still thanks her when she’s done, taking a slow sip of the hot liquid. it’s still hot, but it’s what he needs to wake himself up, so he thanks her and lets her go back to watching her movie. “I’ll probably be wired on coffee by then, might as well finish up work… unless you have other plans for me,” he whispered, smiling slyly. it sounded tempting, being carried back to bed, cuddling up next to the man that he loved and sleeping at a semi-reasonable hour for once, but he really wants to finish his work.

           when alois sees that juno doesn’t have a cup for himself, he offers his own, despite the fact that he knows juno doesn’t take his coffee as strong as alois did. not that juno really needed it, alois had developed a taste for strong coffee when he was in high school, engaging in just about every activity under the sun. he continued to depend on it so that he could wake up at sunrise without feeling like a corpse. he had more of a need for it than juno, who stayed up late into the night easily.

[xdcwncast-blog]

—         "you're welcome, baby.." sitting up placing a hand at the back of their neck, he works at their tense muscles and watches as his daughter takes to saving the day once more. she did cute things like this all the time, but it never ceased to make him smile like an idiot. once her little heads hits the pillow once more, juno pauses for a moment to reach across alois's lap and fix her blanket again ( kids were squirmy ). "lay back and rest, my sweet angel."

          she nods, and begins to sip at the cup, eyes shifting back to the screen as juno takes his seat once again ( massage starting up again at the man's shoulders ). "i do have other plans for you." he grins, nose running along their sharp jawline as he lowers his voice and whispers. "you need to rest, and i need to hold my husband tonight. i'm worried about you..." plus, his sleep patterns truly did rely on the other by his side. if they were in the next room over and he was lying there alone, it was nearly impossible for him to get comfortable.

          "i know you well enough. i'm sure you're fine as far as studying goes...probably just hunched over the keyboard rereading the same thing over and over like the handsome little overachiever you are. no one is gonna get mad at you for calling it a night and letting me love you." alois was more than successful in every aspect, and even though he appreciated how dedicated he was-- breaks were necessary sometimes.

[whiskerwonderland-blog]

—        “she’s a troublemaker like you, as well,” he commented offhandedly, a small smile coming to his face. he could see a lot of juno in their daughter, even if the genetics weren’t there; more than once alois has come home to find both of them covered in paint, leilani eagerly pulling him toward juno’s studio to show off her newest 'piece’ · she was even ( slowly ) picking up on their artist lingo, although she didn’t always use the words 100% correctly, nor did she pronounce them right. it was still precious. she even had the same puffy cheeks as her daddy. which wasn’t to say she was nothing like alois, she was gentle and caring, and always careful with her words as not to offend, and she loved to be read to and was excited to learn how to read herself. she was pretty the perfect match for their little family, even if she was a handful ( especially because she was a handful. )

           while juno heads to the kitchen to make the two of them some coffee, leilani leads him over to the movies to pick one. when juno offers her chocolate milk, she accepts without hesitation, and alois shoots him a dirty ( but well meaning ) look over her shoulder that he eventually laughs off. alois often complained about not being the 'fun dad’, but he really brought it upon himself when he was the one enforcing rules and making sure she always ate healthily. again, it was another balance that they needed; if they were both 'fun’, she would be undisciplined and spoiled, if they were both 'strict’, she would try to rebel. it’s just more proof to alois that their little family unit was perfect.

           leilani eventually settles on a movie ( mulan ) after alois has pulled out ever single disney film they owned, so he has to quickly put them all back to catch up with her on the couch. she hugs her bear to her chest, and comments that this is his 'favorite movie’ despite the fact that she says that about all of them. alois doesn’t mention that, because she’s three and it’s cute. when juno popped up between them, alois smiled, kissing his cheek. “the princess decided on mulan. as I’m sure you know, it’s her favorite movie,” he says in a teasing tone that she doesn’t quite pick up on. instead, she nods excitedly. “I like the dragon!”

[xdcwncast-blog]

—        carding his fingers through his husband's hair, he rests his cheek against their own as he watches the opening credits begin to play on the screen ahead. "mulan!" juno might have been a grown man, but disney movies were his favorites and mulan was definitely a great one. "that's my favorite too! and if you don't like it..." standing straight and placing his hands on his hips, he fakes his most convincing 'mushu' voice. "dishonor on you! dishonor on your cow! dishonor on your whole family!" and with that, he spins and goes back into the kitchen to get the milk ( pouring it into her favorite cup and warming it just a bit ). 

          while he's in the room, the coffee finishes too and he pours alo a cup just in time for the film to start. handing his girl the drink first, he carefully guides the warm mug into the tired man's hand and then curls up at his side with a sweet little sigh of content. "i made it how you like it, just a little stronger. if she falls asleep before mulan's epiphany, i'll carry you to bed..."

         no doubt that alois would argue that he needed to keep working, but juno wasn't going to allow them to stay up all night. it wasn't good for them. reaching behind him and taking another blanket down, he drapes it across their frame and gives their side a little squeeze as he turns his attention back to the movie and remembers that he forgot to get himself a cup. oops. there was no way he was getting up now, so it didn't really matter he supposed.

[pcstscripts-deactivated20161019]

                it is harsh, and it confuses beck more than anything else. he’s confused and hurt and sad all at once, and he’s still trying to figure out how someone dead can feel this fucking much. but if this wasn’t caused by something beck did ( or something beck’s shown ), why couldn’t bowie just hold him for a little while longer?

                all his senses are ordering him to not fucking cry like some doofus who’s gotten their heart broken for the first time. the next thing that makes sense for him is to just not look at bowie all together. so he doesn’t. his eyes focus on the floor, head nodding absently in defeat. “ fine. ” for once, beck doesn’t have any more to say. he steps past bowie— out of the bedroom to wait by the door. it’s like his grandma always told him: beck was always causing all sorts of trouble.

[xdcwncast-blog]

                their lack of response causes guilt to snatch him back, forcing him to see that his previous answer was uncalled for. he was used to beck going head to head with him with the bitchiness, but them brushing past and leaving the room wasn't really what he thought would happen. "fuck..." bowie mumbles, hands covering his face as he mentally scolds himself for being so unstable and childish.

                grabbing his wallet and trailing close behind, he reaches out to catch their hand and changes his tone completely. "hey, hey, hey..." what was he going to say? they had every right in the world to feel like he was a jerk. god, he needed professional help. "i'm sorry. that sounded really fucking rude and i didn't mean for it to. i just...don't like crying and i ruined everything and--"

                beck looked like he was going to sob; it wasn't at that point yet, but the man could tell it was only because they were trying super hard to avoid it. "beck..." part of him says hug the male, but the other part of him says fall to your knees and beg for forgiveness. listening to neither, he takes both of their hands and places them against his own cheek as he stares at them and smiles for real this time. "do you wanna punch me? kick my ass? knee me in the dick? i'll let you. just...please smile and be my asshole best friend again."

[xdcwncast-blog]

i think i've decided that i want to replace farran and add a new character completely (might keep the name too)? but now i can't figure out a backstory or anything. i really like the color blind idea, but all the other details are just sort of ???

i might just post a starter as a test and see if i can develop all of that through trial and error.

[whiskerwonderland-blog]

—        alois scoffed, rolling his eyes playfully at juno. “juno kim, you have been a nightowl since the day I met you. you can’t tell me you weren’t going to stay up all night anyway,” his tone, though he was clearly scolding him, was soft around the edges. it’s more or less just an excuse to use his full name, because he’s very partial to the change and his heart still fluttered whenever he thinks back to that day all those years ago. it’s actually good for the couple that they function best at different hours; they balanced each other out, juno could take care of her late at night without much trouble, and alois could be up bright and early to make breakfast for his family. leilani couldn’t have a better set of parents, if he did say so himself.

           alois laughed as the bear kissed both of his cheeks, face growing faintly red. “what is it about me that attracts sweet little bears, hm, honeybear?” he asked juno, leaning in to kiss him again. it’s quick, of course, because he has a toddler in his arms squirming to be let down. when he does set her on her feet, she grabs onto his hand and starts to pull at it, clearly excited. she was always at her most energetic late at night, much to his dismay, but he didn’t mind putting off work to spend time with his family. if anything, it was a blessing.

           alois leaned his head into their hand, eyes softening. he’s tired, very tired, but that’s just part of his life now. it’ll be worth it in the end. “I know you don’t, baby, but I’ll be fine as soon as I have another mug of coffee. I’m not letting you be the favorite daddy without a fight,” he joked, kissing the palm of his hand. “now come on, before this little demon pulls my arm out of it’s socket.” with that, he followed her lead to the living room.

[xdcwncast-blog]

—         they had a valid point, most of his nights spent working on some project until the sun rose. "then maybe she takes after me?" the girl wasn't his child by birth, but she did spend a lot of time with his and a lot of his habits had begun to rub off on her. alois had influenced her quite a bit as well. she was creative, vocal, and caring-- a perfect mix of the two. the quick kiss gives him tingles, butterflies and happiness still there despite the fact that they weren't 'kids' anymore. they had a lot of responsibility now and juno didn't mind; it was worth it to come home to this now. 

          "i blame the charm. bears really like that sort of thing, you know?" following them out of the room and stepping into his studio to turn off the music, he makes his way into the living room and drapes the blanket across the cushions. "i'll go make the coffee then." positioning the pillows at one end, he fixes a cozy little spot for his daughter to lay back and stifles a yawn as his feet shuffle into the kitchen. "do you want anything to drink, leilani? some juice...or chocolate milk?" alois didn't approve of sugar this late. juno approved of whatever made his daughter happy, and figured they could make an exception this time.

          he's still humming to himself as he adds the water to the machine and scoops the coffee into the little reservoir, flipping the switch and leaving the room to wait for the little beep. flipping on one of the lamps and nearly tripping over the dog, he reaches down to scratch behind lenore's ear and laughs as he leans over the back of the couch to 'pop' up between the two already snuggled up.  

[whiskerwonderland-blog]

—        alois eased into the kiss, tense expression melting away into a soft, loving smile. as stressful as things have been lately, as busy as things have been, he’s never been more sure about this. he’s never loved juno as much as he loved him in this very moment, and he could only imagine that feeling growing as time goes by. and their little angel · it had taken a lot to finally be able to bring her home, the couple having to practically jump through hoops with house inspections and having their background and their finances looked it, but it was all worth it. he could still remember the first time he held his little girl in his arms, how nervous and young she was when they first met. he could vividly remember how excited juno was, painting the nursery while alois kept him company. things weren’t easy, but he had absolutely no regrets in his life.

           alois looked down at the girl, carefully brushing soft, black hair out of her face. at juno’s question, she gets a very serious look on her face and nods, tiny voice confirmed with a soft ‘yeah.’ he chuckled, kissing her forehead. ”then do you think you’ll be able to go back to sleep?“ he asked, only to have her shake her head immediately. ”I’m not tired.“ it’s enough to ease his worrying, a small laugh erupting from his throat. predictable. the first time she had insisted on not going back to sleep, it had stressed him out, because he was so tired himself. by now, he knew that she’d be knocked out again in an hour or two at most, so it didn’t bother him. ”of course, I should have guessed.“

           ”if daddy isn’t busy we can all head out to the living room and watch a movie. what do you think?“ his question is more or less directed at juno, a playful smirk on his face at the prospect of spending a little more time together ( seeing as their nights were now spent working most of the time ), but leilani shouts 'yay!’ in response to getting exactly what she had wanted.

[xdcwncast-blog]

—         "not tired?" despite his own exhaustion, energy seems to surge forward from nowhere as he bows down and nuzzles his nose against hers. "my little leilani is such a night owl! how is daddy supposed to keep up?" easily. that was why coffee was invented. of course, the idea of cuddling with the two on the couch and watching television didn't sound bad at all, so juno was fine with it. glancing over to the space where she'd been resting, his cheeks puff as he waddles over and grabs the soft blanket and little stuffed bear just in case she needed it.

          "i think a movie is a good idea, but the princess has to pick!" draping the throw across his shoulder, he waves the little toy back and forth before letting the bear 'steal a kiss' as well; little plastic nose pecking the little girl's tummy before exacting a similar revenge on alois ( kissing both cheeks and then being snatched away by the beautiful princess in question ).

          "we adults are gonna need more coffee, though, right?" the comment is aimed at his husband, gaze shifting to one of teasing affection as he takes his hand and places it against their cheek. "if you're too tired, i can watch her. i really don't mind letting you rest..."