yo im mic, im a 26 year old autistic non-binary dude, and i use he/ they pronouns. ive been on tumblr since 2013, and i aint leavin until this place crumbles down around me
ive got sideblogs galore as well, which ill probably interact from more
@gardeninggraves main
@xefros-tritoh homestuck
@the-call-of-cthuwu horror
@gggravesart art
@transmascfalin general fandoms/ spam
oh also i hate bigots, go explode in a evil fucked up volcano blast. racist, terfs, pedophiles, all that shit. fuck off and die forever
its always jane whos baking for everyone else in fanart and i get why, but she deserves a birthday cake for her too 🩵 even if june cannot bake 2 save her life
we as a fandom dont talk nearly enough about feferi and how much it probably impacted her life to know that she had no chance of reaching adulthood like her friends. its ironic the only one who she relates to in that capacity is karkat. one of them benefits from the blood color that will cause them to be killed upon maturation, while the other fully suffers from it. feferi suffers, but has the capacity for kindness bc she was AFFORDED kindness. karkat suffers, and simply cant afford to be kind. yet hes the one who wears his heart on his sleeve, and feferi is the one that saves face. oh man this wasnt what this post was supposed to be about but i think i ship fefkat now
going into full-blown feferi mode even though it very much goes off on a tangent from this post (but then wraps back around to it at the end):
(WARNING: THIS IS LONG)
gl'bgolyb literally was only her lusus because dr. scratch enforced it on all fuschias in their timeline. the condesce was directly manipulated by scratch and lord english. any parental or ancestral figure she could have looked up to was consumed and groomed by the literal embodiments of patriarchy. feferi knows that she's going to die and wholeheartedly accepts it. she, one of the characters with the least amount of screentime, was the one who asked the horrorterrors to blow/create the dream bubbles, the embodiment of the forces of narrative irrelevancy.
she's a witch of life. she manipulated the system and luxuries she found herself in to try to heal it. she never tries to escape it, however. she's a chronic people-pleaser. her entire mindset is "the system is broken and needs to be fixed" rather than "the system is working as intended and needs to be dismantled." her dubiously applicable beforan self tried to make everything seem all nice and happy and nothing is wrong on beforus. filled to the brim with happy-americanized-worker propaganda. and that attempt at covering up the holes in the system literally failed. the beforan trolls designed to try to beat the game (the embodiment of The System) were literally Doomed To Fail and were forced to accept the unrelenting patrons of patriarchy in order to attempt to be more successful in The System. her alternian self (in a different doomed timeline where she god-tiers) revives The Mayor (wayward vagabond, a character who initially tried to rebel against the wars in skaia who decided to become the mayor instead because surely HE can command the people more effectively. he's also totally not weird about women). feeding gl'bgolyb relentlessly, feeding the ambassador of the greater patriarchy constantly, was the only thing stopping said ambassador from basically inciting mass extinction on the entire troll species in one fell glub.
the main characters she interacts with are eridan (literally the genocidal violently bigoted fish boy that she breaks up with because she says he's "All Better Now" (lying through her teeth unknowingly at the time) but STILL WANTS TO BE FRIENDS, the only time she realizes how much of a monster he really is when it's too late and she gets blasted by his "science" hope/belief beam), sollux (guy who was also Doomed To Die and is also a Servant of The System who she also felt the need to "fix" and yet he somehow escapes it by straight up being Abandoned by said system), and jade (another witch who is *VERY SIMILAR* to feferi now that i think about it, the main difference being that Jade actually survives because she's seen as more "needed" by the narrative, which makes it so interesting then that jade was basically the only human feferi tried contacting, as feferi still clings to what the narrative says goes while also trying to desparately cling to someone so similar to her because this might be her last chance to demonstrate to the narrative that she can still be important! jade's just like me and jade's important! i can help make things better like she can! even if i'm already dead!)
karkat and by extension kankri as well play so interestingly into the characterization of the condesce and feferi because when each vantas sees their unrelenting oppression, their decision is to conform to the system entirely to try to survive. karkat is in a hyper-violent society run by the condesce. he dreams of being a soldier who can Prove Himself to be useful. he's a fanatic about the troll equivalent of the ever-toxic system of marriage (quadrants). he constantly violently berates and belittles himself past present and future, and the shrapnel of when he blows up hits other people. he literally ran a program that blew up his computer and afflicted EVERYONE he could ever know and love with A Curse which Dooms them Forever. he's friends with all of the main people feferi talks to (sollux generally, jade after a LOT of development, and treats eridan like one of his "bros.") the candy timeline, where john decides to let the patriarchy live and try to live Normally (where everyone conforms to it), is the timeline where Karkat actually does become a renowned soldier in a big crazy war, but he is MISERABLEEEEE just like everyone else who tries to conform to their desired (also fandom-desired) roles. kankri, on the other hand, tries to double down into feferi's "everything is okay in the system and any potential leaks need to be removed Immediately" and speaks in righteous prose endlessly and talks smack about big catchword issues and people who might be "problematic" but has never shown an ounce of care for the people and victims who are actually suffering. literally cancel-culture incarnate. karkat's dubiously applicable beforan self is a prisoner caused by his attempts at conformity and kankri's alternian self is literally The Sufferer who DID try to rebel more violently with the belief that the world he saw on beforus was better, but failed (and also the troll equivalent of jesus christ, which has absolutely zero weirder religious implications for alternian trolls at large at all if you squint hard enough). sound familiar?
i think karkat and feferi would have a very interesting dynamic. feferi is aromantic to me in a way that she still feels the need to be in romantic relationships because that's what's seen as the "normal" and "picture-perfect" option, as well as the need to please others to try to "fix" them because if she just fixes everything then nobody will have to hurt or bother her again! while karkat isn't aromantic to me, he's also like. THE emotionally repressed queer person ever who desparately tries to be straight because that's the only way he has internalized that he will be loved. but he also sucks ass at it and is incredibly loud about How He's Feeling but REALLY struggles to Figure Out Why in a way that doesn't endlessly belittle and blame himself for everything. how could the lovely system ever do anything wrong? a friendship between them where they unlearn all of the stuff they've internalized and learn to reject the system entirely slowly would be revolutionary (pun half-intended?) to me. game changing, even. (pun fully intended.) i can see it so clearly in my mind's eye.... so beautiful.
anyways as someone who's favourite character in the whole comic out of everyone is feferi, to the point of forking the cash to buy her makeship plushie (even though i am not employed and do not have any other form of sustainable income), i also need to talk more about feferi. everyone needs to talk about feferi. god she's such a character. it's impressive how much she got with such little screentime characterization-ways. i applaud you hussie. how the fuck did you do that. idgaf if i worded this bad. if i am entirely wrong PLEASE throw rocks at me. i could go on forever but i'll shut up now otherwise i'll never be able to reblog this. the fef really got me.
