WAR WILL MAKE CORPSES OF US ALL

ABOUT ME - Amber - 38 Years Old - Wisconsin USA -Old blog names: welcometotheuniverse imthegh0stwiththemost I LIKE -Cats - Video games - Makeup - Pizza - Anime - Manga Anime blog: Hollow Purple

[xghosttown]

I made an anime blog after all. h0llowpurple.tumblr.com

[xghosttown]

I'm going to be starting work next week and I've got all this paperwork to fill out. I also have a few phone calls to make. Meanwhile, my anxiety is hitting me hard today. I've been feeling okay for a while about the whole job thing but today I feel the stress. ugh I wish my anxiety didn't make my fucking skin feel weird.

[weantuniverse]

(via Facebook)

[m0thmancore]

suck, and i cannot stress this enough, my cock to the fucking base

[m0thmancore]

oh no! i dropped this screenshot that explains how to bypass this with a free adblocker! you shouldn’t reblog this or anything; it’d be terrible if people used this advice to watch ad-free youtube!!

[heartpeacenquiet]

[xghosttown]

I've been taking care of my mom for almost a decade as her sole caregiver and I just had to enroll her into a special care facility. I had to make the huge decision of if I wanted to bring her back home from her 5 month hospital/nursing home stay and continue to take care of her, or if I wanted to get my first job and continue with the special care facility. I decided on the job. I would love to bring her back home and continue caring for her but her dementia is more than I can handle now. I'm also scared she'll have more grand mal seizures at home. There was a grocery store that was just bought out by another chain by me so I decided to check out the jobs. I decided to try my hand at being a courtesy clerk. I had an interview on Thursday. My appointment was at 5 pm. I got there at like 4:45 and was seen relatively fast. It was my first interview ever, so I had no idea what to expect. I finished up and I got home at like 5:14 pm. I received a call at 5:38 saying I got the job. I did my drug test yesterday and passed. I hope my anxiety lets me do this job. I'm nervous as hell and actually kinda dreading having to leave the house every day. I've been home bound for so damn long that I'm practically agoraphobic at this point, okay not really, but close. It feels weird finally starting my life at 38.

[draconym]

I think it sucks that you have to go to so many different kinds of doctor to take care of yourself. It's the 21st century. I should be able to go to a single office where they scan me with a big xerox machine and tell me what I'm allergic to and why my tummy hurts and if I have any cancer or cavities or if my glasses prescription has changed. And then I should get a sticker.

[xghosttown]

Oliver

[xghosttown]

Oliver

[xghosttown]

It's been a month since my mom was in the ER and it's been 16 days since she's been home from the rehab place. She's back in the ER again after a suspected seizure. Today was fucking scary. This morning she was fine and then this afternoon she was combative and screaming bloody murder. She's in the neuro ICU right now. She's in a better mood, thank god. I need to find a place that will take her that won't cost an arm and a leg. Medicare doesn't cover nursing homes or memory care facilities. She can't have medicaid because she makes too much money from social security disability and her pension. I have no money because I take care of her and can't work. I have zero help. I'm barely able to keep myself together at this point let alone a whole ass adult human being that needs more care than I can physically give. Trump took away my health care so I probably won't be able to afford my medications anymore either. I'm screwed every fucking possible way. And I really fucking miss my mom, the way she used to be before her stroke. And I really fucking hate this country and our health care system.

[xghosttown]

The United States needs to really fucking do more for caretakers. I'm taking care of my mom who has dementia. The hospitals and shit don't tell you how to handle this shit. They just say "here's your loved one" and then hands them over to you and expect you to know how to fucking care for some one that has absolutely no cognition anymore. I'm taking care of her all on my own with no help. She needs to be in a memory care facility, but with her social security and her pension she makes too much money for medicaid, which would pay for it. Medicare doesn't cover memory care facilities or nursing homes. Those types of facilities can range up to about $9,000 a month. I don't even have that much money in the bank right now, let alone get that much a month. I'm 38 years old, I don't have a job. Taking care of my mom is my job. We both live off of her social security and pension. Now that the dumb fuck in the white house got rid of Medicaid, I won't have any healthcare and won't be able to afford my medications. I have Hashimoto's Disease and I just got my thyroid to a normal level. I doubt I'll be able to afford them plus all of her meds and hospital trips. I'm up shit creek without a fucking paddle and the goddamn canoe sprung a leak. I don't know what to do.

[xghosttown]

Life is really beating me down right now.

[xghosttown]

My mom comes back home from the hospital on Sunday. She's been gone for about 2-3 weeks. She's currently in a rehabilitation hospital getting some speech and occupational therapy. I've been seeing her everyday and she's a little better after her brain bleed, but when I saw her today it wasn't a very good day. I'm nervous about bringing her back home and taking care of her. I suspect I wont get a lot of sleep. I bought a bed alarm to alert me when she gets out of bed. We suspect that with all the brain bleeds and stuff after her stroke that she has some dementia. So she likes to wander and do really weird shit sometimes. So I have to watch her like a hawk. I'm exhausted thinking about it. She's had brain bleeds before and compared to those this one was the smallest but for some reason it really fucked up her cognition even worse than it was. Hopefully she'll continue to heal and improve and get back to a little bit of her normal self and hopefully let me get some friggin' sleep. Being at the age when you have to take care of your elderly parents is exhausting, especially when you don't have anyone to fucking help you. I'm doing this all on my own, baby. Been doing this all on my own since her stroke in 2018. Let's just hope I don't lose my damn mind from all the stress, because boy fucking howdy am I fucking stressed out.

[xghosttown]

i deeply miss seeing oliver on my feed

I'm sorry, anon! I haven't been keeping up with taking any nice pictures of him. I mostly just take pictures of him being a goblin to send to my boyfriend haha But here's a few pics I took a couple weeks ago. 🩶🩶

[czesca]

they should make nervous systems that are less nervous

[xghosttown]

I'm so stressed out and anxious. My skin feels prickly and itchy. I wish I had someone here with me so I didn't have to be alone while I go through this shit again. But of course, I have to deal with every bad thing that happens to me all on my own with zero help and very little comforting.

I love my boyfriend, but he's autistic and can't really express his emotions and is terrible at comforting me, which is not his fault but it fucking sucks. I just want to be engulfed in a big hug and comforted the way I need, but I can't have that. Plus, he lives an hour and a half away from me so I can't even see him when I need someone.

[xghosttown]

On top of all the depressing, sad bullshit I'm going through in my life, because of the republicans I'm going to lose my health care. I just got my thyroid levels back to normal (I have Hashimoto's Disease) and now I doubt I'll be able to afford my medication, especially after the multiple gigantic hospital bills my mom will have after her ER/ICU/hospital stay. They want to do a short term rehab for her too. Like I have no money. I don't work. I'm her sole caregiver. She has no one else. If I get sick or something happens to me, there is no one to care for her. Basically, I'm screwed real fucking good. Six ways to Sunday type of screwed.