It’s about the yearning. the devotion / accepting!
@gazelessmenagerie said: ❝ I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world. ❞
a devotion that was rarely found; one that came from the heart, rather than custom or fear. it wasn’t like those of children who grew up surrounded by religious beliefs—forced to carry the same ideas as their parents, rather than to think for themselves. no. these words came from a man who had nothing. a man whose hardships had hardened his heart & would’ve made anyone become a non-believer. what kind of god turned their back to the poor & blind? what kind of god based their judgement based on morality when life had been nothing but unfair on someone? what kind of god separated good from evil, & never gave evil a chance?
he had learned a lot about different gods & religions in the solitude of the library. countless night spent expanding on his knowledge—trying to make sense of the human psyche & why some choose to believe in a higher power. it was, perhaps, something innate in him to wonder about these things; growing up with a mother who, to her very last breath, still called for god that never listened to her prayers, to take her to that holy place: heaven. a notion he didn’t understand at the time, but did now, as even he found himself looking for a purpose in this life that wasn’t his, but stolen from a man who shined as bright as a star.
humans decide to believe in gods because without them, they’d feel helpless, much like the man sitting across him when they first met. how ironic, that for a man who sought to deceive him, his words could hold such truth now. that same devotion that he had seen in his mother growing up. however, this time, his words wouldn’t be ignored. nothing more & nothing less did he expect from n’doul upon asking him how could he recognize a god.
“—i never quite understood the certainty behind others’ beliefs of their respective gods, but perhaps it’s not something to be understood.” perhaps, his mother’s words held some validity to them when she simply responded with:
‘ i feel like my heart is being touched by christ.’
dailybridgerton
jbbartram-illu
tangentwithtanner
titsay
dededos
ellievsbear
romaincrisis
