Sorry for being gone guys. My grandfather passed away yesterday after ten days on hospice. It's been hell. So I'm trying recoup and deal with grief. Thank you for understanding.
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@xsecondnature-blog
Sorry for being gone guys. My grandfather passed away yesterday after ten days on hospice. It's been hell. So I'm trying recoup and deal with grief. Thank you for understanding.
The problem is I still call myself a woman and every time it drops from my mouth the word feels like a bar of soap slipping through my fingers, fish out of water, something I wish I could reel back into myself. I call myself a woman and it feels like an accident: like a six car pile-up just outside city limits, like you were so close to home. You were so close. You could have been exactly what they wanted you to be when they wrapped you in a pink blanket, when the doctor said girl and they were so happy. But how could the word woman feel like such a stranger when I have been wearing it my entire life? The problem is my gender is language I cannot speak, yet. I go wide-eyed-jealous, sticky-handed child reaching for the bodies of the strong-limbed boys I have always wanted to look like. I think of how many things I’d be willing to give up so that I could look so long, so that I could look so flat, look so sharp and so boy. But my curves are something I am not ready to be divorced of, yet. I look down at my body and think no, I will not abandon you. Not yet, not again, not like the rest of them. I think—Girl. I think—Girl. I think, Girl, you have been unwanted in so many hands. And I can’t turn traitor to my own powder pink. I can’t bleed the woman out of my lungs. I have tried. She does not go easy. Instead, I wear woman like a coat two sizes too small. It doesn’t fit, anymore, but it smells like home. When I was thirteen, all my daydreams were technicolor: taking these heavy, useless things on the front of my body and chopping them off with a hacksaw. I say I want the reduction because my back hurts– because they have crippled my body into something unusable. What I am afraid to admit is I want the reduction because I don’t want them, anymore. What do you do when you are given the choice between two costumes and neither of them has enough elbow room? What do you do when the word woman is the only one that shares all the violence that’s been done to you for daring to look so sweet? What do you do when the word woman isn’t wrong—it’s just not the whole story? And you don’t have a word for your story. What do you do when you love that word– woman. Girl. She. Her. Her’s– but you don’t like how it looks on you. But “he” just looks like it’s missing something– the word man has never belonged to me without woman in front of it. Sometimes all these words feel like an ancient text that don’t have the degrees to decipher. They don’t make sense to me. I don’t want them. But I live in a society that says I have to be one or the other, that there is no in-between, just accidentally mismatching of body parts. At the end of the day, I have no quarrel with my body—only the things everyone else seems to assign to it. Only these words that feel useless up against the person I have worked so hard to love. Only woman: ill-fitting as it sometimes is. What I want to know, is am I allowed to hold woman at arm’s length and love it like my favorite dress? Am I allowed to put it down when it is too heavy to carry?
QUESTIONS FOR GOD, OR JUST ANYONE WHO’S LISTENING by Ashe Vernon (via latenightcornerstore)
Dean + bacon
xsecondnature
Abandoning his basically empty cart he walked closer cautiously, hazel eyes flickering. Dean dropped his tone as he spoke to her. “..I can help you. Your leg is bleeding, if you’ll let me, I can help.” he murmured. Stepping back after he spoke he waited. His senses were alight with the tension he felt but he tried to keep it calm.
There was no use in freaking her out more than he probably already had. Dean cursed under his breath at the sheer fact that there was no easy way to do this. No easy way to explain what would happen to her. Did she even know? Had she transformed yet? He assumed no by the way she was acting.
“Can you tell me what happened?”
“What?” she blinked, utterly confused as his scent again overwhelmed her. Yes, her leg was burning and she had a feeling that it was bleeding again, but she had it bandaged up. Glancing down, she saw no evidence of blood seeping through her jeans. If it was, in fact, bleeding, how could he know? Maybe it was just hurting, as was to be expected with a serious wound when healing.
Frowning, she met his gaze again, tongue darting out to dry chapped lips. She made to question him, but a sudden thought occurred to her. How did he even know she was injured? Aside from her slight limp, there was no visible evidence to let him know that her leg had recently been hurt. Who was this guy? Still teetering on the edge of another breakdown, Melody didn’t know how to handle his offer or questions. She should have politely written him off and gone about her business, but instead found words tumbling from her lips.
“My ex attacked me… I think,” she admitted softly, hands trembling as she took hold of her cart to steady herself. “I was half asleep when it happened…” she blushed, dropping his gaze. “The doctors think a dog got ahold of me, but… I swear it was my ex. We don’t have a dog…” she shrugged, at odds with disclosing the stranger details of her recently suffered trauma to a complete stranger.
Glancing to his eyes once more she offered him a weak smile, cheeks still red in embarrassment. “I’ll be fine. I’m a nurse… I’ve just overdone it today is all… I really appreciate your concern,” she moved to leave, head buzzing as she struggled to make sense of anything.
Leaving his empty cart he continued to follow her, talking softly. "I'm Dean. Dean Winchester. Sorry about over stepping my bounds. I know you don't know me." Taking a breath he trailed along at her side, hands shoved into his pockets. "Have you told anyone else about your ex attacking you?" Honestly Dean was surprised that she had told him that piece of information.
He thought the soft pink tinge to her cheeks was endearing. "So you're a nurse then. Why did the doctor think it was a dog attack? Did it look like a bite mark?" Glancing around briefly at the people passing by, he made sure no one else was taking notice of their conversation.
"Often when people say they'll 'be fine' they usually aren't." Dean smirked, his tone held a teasing note to it. "I know this isn't any if my business but I can't help but be concerned." Truth be told he really couldn't help it. He felt compelled to help her, to protect her, to show her that things would be alright.
thatdemondean
Striding through the grocery store, Dean ignored the carts horrid squeaky wheels as he went up and down aisles. Shopping for the pack was always irritating but necessary. They were running low on some essential supplies and it was his turn to make the run into town. Turning a corner he slowed his steps, distracted by the scent in the air.
Another of his kind was here, close by. Dean found it strange, he’d never run into another werewolf in the town. Well not one that wasn’t apart of his pack at least. Entirely distracted he didn’t notice the other cart rounding the corner at the same time. The loud clang of metal against metal dragged him from his thoughts. His hazel eyes darted to the woman that had yelped and was now stammering out an apology.
It was her. She was the other werewolf he was smelling. Dean was startled by the scent of blood that mingled in the air. Without thinking he stepped towards her, one hand outstretched. “Are you alright?” He kept his movements slow as he tried not to further her fear of the situation.
Body and mind were assaulted by an overwhelming mix of emotions, none of which made any sense to the petite nurse. She opened her mouth to respond, a lie on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t speak. Terror held her voice captive as he reached for her and before Melody could attempt to understand what was going on, she was crying. Tears rolled down her cheeks unchecked as she shook her head in an attempt to make sense of the emotional roller coaster ride she was trapped on.
Trembling fingers attempted to dry her face as she remained rooted to the spot, his scent leaving her feeling almost light headed as she tried to come to grips with the feeling that he smelled familiar. She didn’t know him; he was a total stranger to her, but something about him was undeniably familiar. She was terrified as much as she was intrigued. Sniffling, her sudden and random crying fit having passed, Melody again attempted to speak, lips trembling as a weak smile graced her features.
“I’d say I am… but that’s obviously a lie,” she laughed weakly, wiping at her eyes. “I’ll be alright… Today has just been… rough. Sorry for slamming into you,” she murmured, ready to make her escape with her odd assortment of groceries.
Abandoning his basically empty cart he walked closer cautiously, hazel eyes flickering. Dean dropped his tone as he spoke to her. “..I can help you. Your leg is bleeding, if you’ll let me, I can help.” he murmured. Stepping back after he spoke he waited. His senses were alight with the tension he felt but he tried to keep it calm.
There was no use in freaking her out more than he probably already had. Dean cursed under his breath at the sheer fact that there was no easy way to do this. No easy way to explain what would happen to her. Did she even know? Had she transformed yet? He assumed no by the way she was acting.
“Can you tell me what happened?”
Manhandling symbol starters
Send one for your muse to…
★ - drag my muse by the arm ⁂ - grab my muse by the front of their shirt, possibly shoving them back ✱ - take my muse by the hips to carefully move them out of their way ➜ - smack my muse upside the head ⌧ - grip my muse by the back of the neck © - put a hand on my muse’s back to steer them somewhere ✂ - point sternly at a chair and tell my muse to sit down ✉ - push my muse back down when they try to get out of bed (perhaps involving illness, injury, or sleep deprivation) ☛ - press a finger to my muse’s lips to shut them up ♚ - put a hand on my muse’s knee while sitting next to them, to discourage them from standing up ♧ - slap my muse’s hand away from something they shouldn’t touch ♦ - grab my muse’s hair and yank ♤ - slam a door shut before my muse can leave the room ♞ - physically pick my muse up and carry them ♭ - grip my muse’s jaw to make them look yours in the eye ♨ - rub my muse down with a sponge/wet cloth ☀ - pin my muse with their arms behind their back ☠ - slam my muse into a wall ☾ - wrestle/pin my muse to the ground
Add as much or as little context as you’d like!
reblog this if your muse is Not Straight
*: ・゚✧ interrogation starters.
feel free to change pronouns etc as needed.
CALM / QUESTIONING.
“ tell me, what happened?”
“ did you see anything?”
“ what do you remember?”
“ do you remember anything unusual?”
“ please, try to remember as much as you can.”
“ every detail is important.”
“ and what happened next?”
“ and what did you do when all this took place?”
“ what were you doing around __ am/pm?”
“ where were you around __ am/pm?”
“ can anyone verify that?”
“ was someone with you?”
“ and you had nothing to do with it?”
“ and you weren’t involved?”
“ did you see it happen?”
“ did you see who did it?”
“ did you see or hear anything? anything at all?”
CARING / UNDERSTANDING.
“ you seem scared… is that why you don’t want to talk?”
“ did someone hurt you?”
“ it’s okay. you can tell me.”
“ you were just trying to defend yourself, weren’t you?”
“ we can take a break, if you want.”
“ everything will be okay, i promise. but you need to talk to me.”
“ it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it. but it really would help if you did.”
SUSPICIOUS.
“ there is something you’re not telling me.”
“ i think you’re lying.”
“ you looked away just now when you said that. are you sure you’re telling the truth?”
“ except what you’re telling me doesn’t align with what we already know.”
“ seems to me like you know more than you’re letting in on.”
“ what aren’t you telling me?”
“ who are you trying to protect?”
“ so you really don’t know what any of it means? no clue at all?”
“ they must’ve told you more than that.”
“ you have to have seen more than that.”
“ and you want me to believe you don’t remember?”
“ and you want me to believe you had nothing to do with it?”
“ an accident? is that what you’re going with?”
DEMANDING.
“ i need you to tell me the truth.”
“ i need you to tell me what happened.”
“ i know you’re not telling me the truth.”
“ that doesn’t line up with the evidence. so… you wanna try that again?”
“ stop lying. i already know that’s not what happened.”
MAKING A DEAL / ASKING FOR HELP / DEMANDING HELP.
“ what do you want in exchange for this information?”
“ i’m listening…”
“ you’re coming with me.”
“ since you’re the only one who knows how to find them, i don’t really have a choice but to take you with me.”
“ fine. i’ll take you with me, but if you try anything…”
“ i can’t give you that. you know that.”
“ if we’re going to make a deal, you’re gonna have to ask for something a little more rational than that.”
“ okay. we have a deal.”
“ sorry. no deal.”
Open Starter | Forgetting Everything
“Who are you!” Castiel growled as he grabbed his angel blade. “Stay away from me! Stay the hell away from me, I didn’t come back to return up there!” he said, trying to hide how scared he actually was, after what had happened in heaven and after all the creatures -angels, demons, monsters, even hunters- that were after him. Sure, Naomi had a good price for his head, but he wouldn’t trust anyone that told him, that they were ‘friends’ before his prison. Before the years he was captured and enslaved by the bitch that angels served all these years. Before Naomi. He was trembling, scared they would give his location, he would return to her and she would fuck with his head again, in a way he wouldn’t escape ever again. “Stay away! I told you I don’t know who you are!” he stuttered.
Best Characters to Roleplay with: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Any Angel
“Woah woah woah, Cas!” Dean’s eyes flashed to the angel blade that the angel grabbed, wary of the weapon. Taking a slow step forward he kept his hands raised level with his shoulders, showing he meant no harm. Dean didn’t dare reach for a weapon he just wanted to make sure Castiel would be alright. “Cas. It’s me. It’s Dean. What the hell is goin on?” There was perhaps a flicker of fear in the hunters eyes at the prospect that the angel would suddenly forget him. What could have happened...
Asking out starters
as requested by anon. Enjoy and feel free to make any changes !
Sweet
“I’ve been wanting to ask you this for a long time…will you be my girlfriend/boyfriend/partner/etc.?”
“Oh, you need a ride? I’ll take you.”
“Here it is: I like you. Please go out with me?”
“Do you want to go to the beach/park/museum/etc.? You don’t have to bring anything but your smile.”
“I brought you these flowers/chocolates/etc. because you’re beautiful/sweet/etc. Be my date?”
Flirty
“Would you like to see my bed tonight?”
“I have a lot of junk/sausage/etc. you can help me with.”
“Netflix and chill? But it might be a bit hot.”
“Just know that if we go out, I can’t guarantee it will be PG13.”
“There won’t be anyone around tonight…maybe we could spend a little time together.”
Awkward
“Would you…maybe…like to go on a walk with me? If that’s not too lame.”
“I was just wondering if you wanted to mate–DATE I MEANT DATE.”
“The plan was to read you this Shakespeare poem but my hands are shaking too much and I didn’t memorize it.”
“Wait, were you going to ask me out? I was going to ask you out.”
“Is it too much to ask for a kiss?”
Misc.
“[text][2 AM] i’m outside. get over here.”
“Just go out with me this one time, please! I’ll owe you one.”
“I guess I’ll pick you up at eight. Wear something cute but don’t take forever.”
“I brought you these flowers/chocolates/etc. as a bribe so you’ll want to date me.”
“I’m not telling you what we’re doing until you agree to do it.”
“Can I stay here?”
“ ‘Course. Come in.”
“Just like that?”
“If you think I shouldn’t trust ya, the door’s right there.” Shrugging, Dean stepped away from her and the open door.
🌟 YOUR MUSE TAKING MINE STARGAZING
The meadow flowed like a sea of green over the hillock, flecked with the purple of thistles. Dean lay on his back among the colored flecks. His hazel eyes staring up at the starry sky above. Here in the open meadow there was no light pollution to ruin the view of the stars as they glittered like a thousand tiny diamonds in an inky black pool. Raising one hand Dean pointed to a small cluster on the right. “That looks like it could be the little dipper.”
↕ 5'0"
Heh heh. Short stuff.
❣
Crossing the space between them in a few short strides, Dean immediately reached for his younger brother. “Sammy!” There was relief in his gruff voice as he breathed the affectionate nickname. Pulling Sam in for a hug he held him close for a few moments. Being separated and worried about Sam was something Dean absolutely loathed.
“Can I stay here?”
“ ‘Course. Come in.”
“ i know you’re good at what you do. ”
“Yeah. I am. Is somethin goin on?” Dean raised a single eyebrow, his arms folding across his chest.
WARM AND FUZZY MEME! SEND AN EMOTICON FOR MY MUSE’S REACTION TO:
🍨 YOUR MUSE SHARING A DESSERT WITH MINE 🎂 YOUR MUSE CELEBRATING MINE’S BIRTHDAY WITH MINE ☕ YOUR MUSE BRINGING MINE A WARM DRINK 🍴 YOUR MUSE MAKING DINNER FOR MINE 👻 YOUR MUSE TELLING MINE A SPOOKY STORY BY TORCHLIGHT 💀 YOUR MUSE COMFORTING MY MUSE DURING A SCARY MOVIE 💍 YOUR MUSE PROPOSING TO MINE 👶 YOUR MUSE REVEALING THAT THEY ARE PREGNANT WITH MY MUSE’S BABY 💋 YOUR MUSE GIVING MINE A KISS (SPECIFY WHERE) 👐 YOUR MUSE GIVING MINE A HUG 🐟 YOUR MUSE TAKING MINE TO THE AQUARIUM FOR THE DAY 🐜 YOUR MUSE ‘SAVING’ MY MUSE FROM AN ‘ENORMOUS’ BUG 💐 YOUR MUSE BRINGING MY MUSE FLOWERS 🌱 YOUR MUSE AND MY MUSE PLANTING A GARDEN TOGETHER 🌛 YOUR MUSE CUDDLING MINE AS THEY SETTLE DOWN TO SLEEP 🌟 YOUR MUSE TAKING MINE STARGAZING ⛈ YOUR MUSE COMFORTING MINE DURING A THUNDERSTORM ☀ YOUR MUSE SLATHERING MY MUSE IN SUNBLOCK ☂ YOUR MUSE SHIELDING MY MUSE FROM RAIN ❄ YOUR MUSE THROWING A SNOWBALL AT MY MUSE 💧 YOUR MUSE CLIMBING INTO THE SHOWER WITH MINE 🐁 YOUR MUSE ‘SAVING’ MY MUSE FROM AN ‘ENORMOUS’ MOUSE 🛀 YOUR MUSE RUNNING A BUBBLE BATH FOR MINE 🎨 YOUR MUSE DRAWING/PAINTING A PORTRAIT OF MY MUSE ⚽ YOUR MUSE CHALLENGING MY MUSE TO A GAME 🎸 YOUR MUSE PLAYING MUSIC/SINGING FOR MY MUSE 💌 YOUR MUSE SENDING MINE A LOVE LETTER 🎁 YOUR MUSE GIVING MINE A GIFT 💔 YOUR MUSE COMFORTING MINE AFTER THEIR HEART IS BROKEN ❤ YOUR MUSE DECLARING LOVE FOR MINE 💕 YOUR MUSE TELLING MY MUSE THAT THEY WILL ALWAYS BE FRIENDS