All these people, and no one.
I cry confused.
I cry overwhelmed.
Overstimulated I sit.
Frozen with hot tears.
An earthquake rumbles inside me.
A caution cone or a dunce cap.
Daft thoughts to fill the gap.
There's no one here besides me.
A silence that feels so loud.
No words, only a voice that produces sound.
The deafening reality closes in.
Unopening echoing windows suffocate.
A reminder of the solitude each day that I wake.
I pound and I pound, but they just won't break.
It is only me.
It's always only me.
I try, I reach out.
I'll scream and I'll shout.
Within the patience I will not beg.
My mirror shows only a ghost.
I am a vessel with no host.
For her, from me, she will always take.
All those people look in, yet no one really sees.
The misery from mercy.
The one life that I chose first.
Looks different than the life I want to be.
I sit, and I wait.
This feeling will pass.
Time moves as a vine growing upon a gardens gate.
They glance and opinionate.
I chose and accept my fate.
Alone I will be.
My voice rests in written.
I will calm my lion, retreat into a kitten.
I will wash my window, grateful and blessed be.
Although inside, a stained mind will torment me.
_
July 31. 2026