my father passed away on January 8’ 2011. he had cancer for 2 years. his first 3 months of having cancer the doctors said he will only have 6 months to live. he lived on for two years until his body couldnt keep up, that cancer soon traveled through out his body. a barrier in his stomach broke, all of the water in his skin went to his stomach and it soon weighed him down. everything he drank everything he ate that consisted of water went straight to his stomach. he turned yellow and he got very skinny. he couldnt eat much, alll he ate was vietnamese portage and his countless amounts of medication. his last two months of life he was not with us. we knew that our father was slowly fading.. the family had to bath him, feed him, help him walk, it was like a new born baby. he rested on the couch infront of Phuc Ba (Lady Buddha) hoping that a miracle would happen. we were lucky to have my father present for christmas. it was a christmas that i wont ever forget. my father isnt much of a celebration type of person, but he put a ornament on the tree. (’: last two weeks of life he was fragile. he thought something was there to his eyes but to our eyes there was nothing. he often told us “i see lady buddha, i see my father, theyre waiting for me” each time he told me this i couldnt bare it. i had to walk away and cry. he couldnt talk. as much as he tried he couldnt. i went into my parents room and it was only me and my father. i could only make out the words he was saying. he said “i love you my daughter” he has only said this to me twice in my whole life. last week of his life; i went to school and i came home. i noticed my father was sleeping. and i asked my mom “ has dad been sleeping all day?” she said “yes” i went to my brother and he said the same. we both walked up to my dads bedside trying to wake him up. i tried pinching his toe to see if he will move. he wouldnt. i tried talking to him he wouldnt respond. my father wouldnt wake up from his sleep. two days has passed and my sister told me to go in the room and say something to my father. he could hear what im saying spiritually. so i did i said “dad i know its hard to let go, but let go. holding on will only make your journey harder. like you said you saw grandpa and lady buddha follow them. dont worry the family will take care of mom. we will carry on your traditions. just let go dad. i love you.” i left in tears. i couldnt believe that my father wasnt here. till this day i still dont believe it. fast forwarding January 8 @ 4:44pm my father let go.
in two days it will be my fathers ONE year of passing (in Vietnam) so we have to do the ceremony the same day as vietnam. but im honestly scared. i did not think this day to come. throughout the ceremony of praying we all wore this white cloth attire. wednesday is the day where we burn our attire and have the monk take our rags off of our head to show that we made it to one year.
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