I wasn't expecting it at all... Well, maybe at some point, I did. But to be totally out of the picture... out of your life. That's total shit, and it sure does sucks.
It literally broke me emotionally...
All those times, I thought we had a connection. A bond that is as strong as any friendship would have.
Well I thought I was worthy to be even considered as one back then. But what the heck?! I guess wrong, I was dumb enough to even think that I am.
Then she came, a girl who happens to be there all of a sudden, ready to ruin everything we had. Then you became friends with her too. And there I was, thinking you just wanted a new friend... Someone new to get along with.
I don't know, maybe someone to fuck with. And she happens to be walking vagina appeared out of nowhere ready to be fuck with open arms lol. She was rather a threat than a friend, atleast that's what I thought. But I respected you and your decision. It was her, I did not trust.
Rumors came along and it spread shortly. Rumors about you and her becoming a thing... Everyone is jabbering about it, everybody has their opinion. And we all know how everyone likes a hot and fresh topic or issues to fuss about.
And I honestly felt sorry for both of you being judged. On another note, me being a good friend even defended you. She, on the other hand, got the advantage of the situation and took the opportunity to make me the bad person and blamed it all on me, the rumors...
And you thought it was smart enough to take her side instead of mine. How could you even think for once that I could betray you? Betray the one I love most? I was the only one who's been there for you along the way till she came and took you from me.
Then we part ways... I gave you the space that I thought you needed and you were ok with that. It was my foolishness that drove me away. And that our friendship just became another long-forgotten history. A story where I don't matter. It was a selfless act I know. But what else can I do? You're a battle that I clearly knew that I'd lose. A battle no matter how hard I fight, in the end I will only end up failing.
And you know what, the funniest thing about her is that she told me everything. She even confessed and confirmed every speculation everyone had about your relationship. At first I was relieved, relieved that I wasn't wrong about her. That all this time she was the snake I knew her of.
But at the same time, I felt ashamed for not being able to save you. Yet it didn't really matter anymore. Right? It is because we have been far enough from saving. Too broke to be fixed. And it won't even make sense to fix anything at all.
You see I even comforted her, despite all the pain she caused me. Losing you was the most painful. And here I let myself be used again for comfort, wrapped her with warm hugs, that I should have been getting at those times. How nice of a human being I am right? Comforting the one and only responsible for my heartaches and all this mess, for ending our so-called friendship.
I'm just glad that I had the right support and comfort I needed back then. I wouldn't have made it through without their help... Also, I wanted you to know that it wasn't easy at all. The shit you have me faced was awful and I did not deserve it. And that it took a really long time for me to be fully recovered.
Despite everything, I'm still grateful. You may not be able to see this but I'll say it anyway. It was a great ride what we had back then. We started as strangers... we became best of friends... And now we're back from being a total stranger to each other. Thank you for the memories, both good and bad. By the way, I haven't had the chance last time to even say goodbye. So it's been a while now but yeah whatever! Bye!
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