The stray that was just there asking for attention was then gone, ran away and Neriah had the urge to chase after it. To keep it with her maybe? But what good could the cat bring to her anyways? Company on her travels for the search of the holy grail? It’ll probably get tired of her and run away anyways so what’s the use — so she let it be. Whispered a run, little one, run. Run like me, to where it is safe — and she almost screamed. Tensed up once more because the footsteps were there and she wanted to shove him away but she felt the tap on her back. Guess the only thing she can do was - was run forward? Chase after that cat instead. Yeah, sounds like a good idea — but she doesn’t move and she hunched over more and she doesn’t sigh.
And she listens and she presses her hands on her arms. This is stupid, he almost screams. His voice higher than usual, it was not upbeat, he was not making a joke, he was not laughing. Neither of them were anyways and then she hoped this was just but a joke, a psych she’ll scream and she’ll laugh at him and — and she continued to hunch over, sitting on the pavement listening to his heartbeat, to the hushed voices around, to the sirens at the distance, to the noises. To the noises she listened intently, to his words she did not. She never wanted the future to happen if she’ll be like this — she wanted it to maybe, just maybe end right now. Selfish she knows, not like her, she knows, but if she thinks the future will be nothing then might as well disappear right now. Right? At least right now he’s there, that cat’s there - they’re there. Whoever they are.
”Us? There was never us to begin with.” They were strangers, nothing more - nothing less. Strangers that just so happen to know each other’s names - and she was even more selfish because she knows what he is, but he doesn’t know what she is. She shakes, and she sighs. Heavy, like the burden she continued to carry. The world spins and continues, people lives, dies but she continued to run away. To seek what she cannot find - that she continued to think that she can run back to that home she once dreamt of. To think that all of this was a dream. To not think about the future, what lies ahead and just feel human. As human as he is, as them. Not be like this —
"You don’t know anything." And she stands and she looks at her hands… if he wants this to work out - if he — wants her to stay. He- he should know. "If you know — if you knew, you will
w̟͒i̖͌s̭̐ẖ͋
y̦̞̼͈͑̽͛̌ó̤̺̥̺̔͘̚u̩̗̳͇̇̔̂͝
ņ̻͇̹̮͚̽̌̑̍̄̕ę̘̬̲̠̱̑̿͐̈́́̑v̯̭͉̜̓̐̅̀̌͐͜͜è̡̮̝̘̹̬̈́͑̿̈́͠r̹̣̹̲̟̤̈͐̎͗̇͝
d̺͎̹̺̜͎̗̮̄͐̂̾̽̈̈́̒͘͜ ̘̥̜̞̳̘̮̤̘̈̋̎̈́̂̓͐̏͝ì̬͎̦̝͖̱͔͍̙͋̀̌͗̾̈́͠͠ ̘͖͕̝̺̣̗̰̗̄̍͛͋́͋͆̕͝d͖̖̖̟͖̺̟̬̺̂̔͑̀͛̎̀̌͝ ̧̧̭̬̤̳̳̥̦͊̀̿̿͆̉̃̍̾.”
She was right, there never was but that didn't mean there couldn't be. That it had to end before it even started, just because things might go wrong. They had fun didn't they? Did stupid things, pointless things, things that had no purpose or made no sense. But he liked it, liked not feeling pressured or having a single care, not having to worry about everyone else, to be selfish for once. And he liked to believe she did too, that for a few moments all her troubles slipped away and the only thing that mattered was what they wanted to do, not what the world and the people in it expected of them. Perhaps that was wishful thinking, after all he hardly knew anything about her, but he refused to believe she didn't care at all.
"We're friends right? I think that makes us something, or means something" she wasn't just a stranger. Did you really have to know everything about someone to call them your friend? There were still many things he didn't know about Fetch or Eugene. That's what friendship was, discovering things about people whether they were good or bad. From her words he could guess she had a lot to hide, things she didn't want him to know about, unpleasant things, things that might change his view of her. Bullshit, all of it. She didn't get to decide how he'd feel about something, no matter how terrible it might be he wanted to know, to understand even just a little.
He stares at her back, as if willing her to turn and face him. She doesn't so he remains there as she speaks. "No I don't," came his simple reply, somewhat calmer than before. A deep breath before he moves around her form to stand in front of her, an uncertain hand reaches out to her empty hands. "But you don't get to decide what I might think, I make that choice and I can't if you don't tell me...so tell me, whatever it is, however bad it is just...let me in." He wasn't a kid, he believed he could handle whatever secrets she held or at least try to.
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