The Unbeliever

trigger warning..lost in this illusion of life..forever alone...all my words are my own..I miss u autumnlynn😔

[xxthexunbelieverxx]

Linda lindas

[xxthexunbelieverxx]

deception...

deception...

minds slowly twisted.

a new age...

barriers contested.

false prophets...

speaking words of untruth.

false promises...

slowly begin to take root.

the devil smiles...

all that was,is changing.

believers...

playing a game of danger.

i watch as the ones i love,

slip silently into their grasp.

not realizing...

theyre falling into a trap.

i try to use the word,

to show them what i see.

blinded by a light to bright,

none will listen to me.

maybe the bibles wrong,

the scriptures only words.

written on a page,

that no ones really heard.

maybe it doesnt matter,

not doing what they say.

only use the ones you want,

the rest just throw away.

as for me ill keep believing,

following everyone.

beliving what is written,

believing in the son.

i tried to share the scripture,

i found upon the page.

i tried the word of god.

i was only pushed away.

so now i watch the people,

quetly decieved.

the ones i truly love,

slipping away from me.

he shed his blood to save you,

gave warning of prophets false .

and yet it seems that in the end,

you still are truly lost...

deception...

[xxthexunbelieverxx]

The shadow is growing

the shadow is growing

the pain still remains

cracks they start showing

nothings the same.

my mask it is crumbling

from the tears that still flow

damaged flower fading

refusing to grow.

I find myself mumbling

whisper your name

another day passing

this love yet remains.

vision grows dim

a future unseen

was it just a whim?

a fantasy dream?

or do you really love me

do u think of me still

who's face do u see

how do you feel.

......lost n alone.......

[xxthexunbelieverxx]

In the darkness of the night,

In the darkness of the night,

I hear your voice..

Whispers of a time long since gone,

You made your choice..

Yet here I remain in the silence,

In the dark..

Searching for that spark,

That reignites what we once were.

More than friends,

Not quite lovers...

There will be darkness,

Yes indeed..

In the years that follow,

Its your air that I breath..

As I lay awake thinking,

Dreaming of us..

Dreaming of the darkness,

In a world so unjust..

Know that I'm here,

When the darkness comes,

To calm all your fears,

When you need someone..

Until then I'll sit,

In the dark of the night.

Always alone,

No strength left to fight.

Thinking of you,

Of us in my dreams..

Ignoring the voices..

Its our song that I'll sing...

I am

The darkness.....

[xxthexunbelieverxx]

Anti social lonliness...

Anti social lonliness...

self imposed isolation.

the voices of to many in a crowd.

the emotions and masks...

reality becoming a play on the worlds stage.

ill be the one in the corner..

..watching,listening.

Alone.......

[xxthexunbelieverxx]

Oh its beautiful..

Oh its beautiful..

Such pretty words..

Spoken by a fool..

Just words..

Pain from a heart thats broken..

Put to a page..

Fading away..

A present thats never opened..

Oh its beautiful..

Pain from a spirit lost..

Staying despite the cost..

Just words on a page..

Waiting for a moment..

Just a minute of her time..

Sitting making rhymes..

yet never a word is spoken..

For now he's in the darkness..

A thing that she foresaw..

As he's given it his all..

So beautiful..

Just words on a page..

Feelings fading fast..

Pretty words spoken from a stage..

Once first becoming lost..

He writes these words,

That no ones heard,

Beautiful or so its said..

Yet thats all they are,

Said from afar,

Emotions totally dead..

So now its time to say goodbye,

You know how hard I try.

And yet still never to be heard....

Oh its beautiful...

Its the only words she said........

The darkness is real

[justxmexel]

228# maybe im just by xxjustxmexelliexx

maybe im just a broken girl who is afraid to be loved because she was loved once before.

and maybe im just a broken girl living in the past as she sips and chokes on the toxic wine of her problems

and maybe im just a broken girl who hugged herself to tight when she was alone and got cut on her own broken edges

maybe im just a broken girl who shoves the people that care away. afraid to damadge them with her problems

and maybe im just a broken girl whose tears are made of glass so when you wipe them from her cheeks you slit your thumb.

and maybe im just a broken girl with unfufilled dreams and no hope or motivation to fufill them

and maybe im just a broken girl whos afraid to be fixed or to have one try and find it impossible

and… maybe im just a broken girl because i dont know how to be anything but broken

[justxmexel]

126# dedicated to Terry... A great friend. :)

hey will you listen. today i saw your eyes glisten

and i saw pain unshed and… i saw fears unsaid.

and i saw abesense of hope a lost soul trying to cope

for life is a mean mistrisses and i for one will be your wittness

that all youve done is struggle a 10ft hole in every puddle

for all its ever done for you is rain falling from the sky buckets and buckets of pain

and your standing here standing still and not much longer youll be losing will

so take this imbrella im clutching to.. and ill hold it higher just for you.

and my palm is open ive stretched out my hand to pull or push yoy along because i know you can.

youve made it this far dont stop here for beyond the horrizen is sun. clouded over by your doubting fear.

[xxthexunbelieverxx]

autumn wrote this for me once upon a time...yet now she avoids me and i dont understand why...miss u michelle jewell.

[xxthexunbelieverxx]

Darkness,spirit gone dark.

Life turns grey..I've lost that spark.

Writing down words,

With nothing to say

Empty future.

Another day.

Bleak and blue.

I've lost my way

Wandering.

With the wolf...

Running.

Silent screams.

No one hears.

Nightmare dreams...

real.

[xxthexunbelieverxx]

The voices talking in my head,

telling me I'm better off dead.

Wish they'd go away,instead

Got the razor then I bled.

Felt the calm peaceful glowing,

As the blood started flowing,

Stainless Steel slowly pulling,

In my soul a darkness growing.

Maybe one day they will see

What life truly has done to me

As I float in this lonely sea

A broken man is what I'll be.

Can no one truly understand

This hollow feeling inside this man

Walking alone without a plan

In this grey and savage land

Inside he draws,inside his mind

He must be OK,he seems just fine

No one knows he's out of time

As he walks a razors thin line

Day by day he struggles long

Trying to right all his wrongs

Wishing to find a one to belong

A woman to love..to share his song.

But till that time,he's turned old and grey

Waiting for a woman who never came

Tiring now,weary of this game

A lonely ole man going slowly insane...

[xxthexunbelieverxx]

A sketch from a friend inspired this poem...sketch by:emily skinner

[xxthexunbelieverxx]

Intertwined,

The dancers dance.

lost in the moment...

Space nor time seem to exist,

No yesterdays or tomorrows

As they turn and twist,

Becoming as one,

No pain or sorrows...

Their chance to atone.

The dancers dance.

Lost in this moment.

Intertwined...

Nirvana....

[xxthexunbelieverxx]

Seems all I write bout is her.

Every sentence,

every rhyme,

every word.

As hard as I try,

hardly a day will go by,

Some may think it's totally absurd.

Even now as I'm writing this poem.

My pen has a mind of its own.

Every line that I write,

takes on its own life...

If it's writing,it's of her,and her song

I've tried to talk of the wind.

Halfway through its about her again.

Don't know what to say,

it it won't go away,

I think that's she's etched in my brain.

Now as I come to my end.

Of course I'll speak of her again.

I'll sing of my love,

a gift from above,

My future wife,my lover, my Friend...

[xxthexunbelieverxx]

The mistakes that we make

Define who we are...

[xxthexunbelieverxx]

She left me today..My worlds gone grey...Somehow I just don't know what to say..A state of shock..My sanity walks...No one left with whom to talk..Now I'm alone...Just a sad love song..God this feels so wrong..I shout and I rant..To lose you I can't...I'm walking around in a trance..But what can I do..Am I a fool?...For messing around n falling in love with you?..So now I'm just here..No hopes n no fears...Emotions shut down not even a tear. Dead Inside..I no longer hide...Dry where my tears once cried..I need you...I want you...I still love you.........

[xxthexunbelieverxx]

Stormy skies

An angry Nite

A time to die...

A time for flight

Darkness swirling

Nightmares churning

Dreams of sword in hand

Hoardes of demons

Madness screaming

They just can't understand

Within my mind

I heave a sigh

As blood drips from my hand

Another day

No other way

I've got to make a stand

So here am I

I wonder why

My life's so grey an bland

No one to see

Or talk to me

Except the demon band.

So now I know,

no feelings show

As death doth take my hand

A time of peace

A new release....

... i finally understand....

[xxthexunbelieverxx]

Sadness lingers as I'm here thinking of her.Trying to get through another day of loneliness.Depression clogs my vision remembering our talks...No longer can I stay sane...god,it's her I miss.But what am I to do,I cry from deep within.Distance and age..a battle I may not win.Does her love stay strong?Even though we are apart?Does her heart to me belong?As it did right from the start.You see what i fear the most.Is I'll never see her face.Just another ghost...Will her lips I never taste?Or will she turn her back.Again to run away.my world turn oh so black.Or will she choose to stay.So until that day,she comes back to me,I'll crawl inside and hide.Fighting all my demons alone.Trying not to cry.Living each day with thoughts of you.Every minute that I'm alive.Knowing that our love is true...Without her..I can't survive.....you are my heart..... Autumnlynn....