ouch

18 sw:185lbs cw:188 gw:140 i don't want to wither away or be bone thin, i just want to look at myself and not want to cry i'm looking for anyone to talk to

[diet-oxygen]

Me logging back into ED tumblr after spending a month binging and calling it “recovery”

[ilostmyappetite]

no one:

my ed: let’s fucking STARVE ourselves

[mayfl0wer-maybe]

Reblog this if yall are still here cause I feel so fucking alone is the ed community still here? reblog if you’re struggling with this shit cause it fucking sucks

[40skg]

LOOKING FOR ACTIVE ED BLOGS, JAN. 2020

since it’s the new year, i was hoping to find more friends bc having an ed is so fucking lonely n exhausting. my dash is dry, too.

pls rb if you (are):

✰ between ages fifteen to twenty-five ONLY

✰ already have an ed

✰ actively post on tumblr

✰ willing to become friends

i am not pro anything, simply looking for more blogs to follow. likes are appreciated! stay safe ♡

[busket]

me at 8pm: you know im kind of tired maybe i’ll actually get to bed at a reasonable hour like 10 or 11 or something

me at 2 am:

[striving-to-be-skinni]

its 3:40am rn

[st4rry-sky0]

Current weight: “still too fat”

[lesoix-blog1]

My friend, today: oh my god ! Why are your wrists so small ?

Me, internally: I’d just like to thank all the ED fairies and the reblog to lose ten pounds posts

Me: I don’t know, weird

[angeldeathz-blog1]

extreme workout

this workout has been done by celebrities such as emma roberts, i just did it and i thought i would share!!

5 min run on the spot

20 donkey kicks each leg (x3)

20 lying leg lifts each leg (x3) - lie down sideways and lift one leg x20

5 min run on the spot

15 squats (x3)

8 burpees

8 pushups

i did get shaky hands/stomach sickness (feeling of vomiting) after though. pls if u feel sick don’t push urself & stop!! also, drink iced, cold water during/after the workout & if u need to take 5 mins off to meditate/breathe!!

stay safe angels!

[painfu1lythin]

S A F E F O O D S

• apple (75 cal) • banana (105 cal) • pear (105 cal) • orange/satsuma (87/50 cal) • grapefruit (74 cal) • lettuce (53 cal) • spinach (23 cal per 100g) • peas (88 cal per 100g) • mushrooms (22 cal per 100g) • thin tomato soup (18 cal per 100ml) • miso soup [in small quantities because of sodium content] (30 cal per 100ml) •almond breeze unsweetened almond milk (13 cal per 100ml)

[sadyellowsun]

Reblog if you think you’re worthless because of your weight

[haaly]

Wait for it 😻❤️

[anancientheart]

ok universe, i’m ready to feel good things. make me feel good things.

[anancientheart]

whenever i post this it works  reblog if u want to feel good things & the universe will bring u something sweet 

[violentposer-deactivated2017101]

the ‘big three’ of coping mechanisms are jerking off, fucking up your hair, and playing your favorite music real loud

[thesmallcowboy-deactivated20190]

[xxtooxmuchxx]

For MYSELF

When I first decided to take control, I wasn’t doing it for me. I was doing it to try and please those who I felt would actually love me if I reinvented myself, starting with my weight.

But now? Now I’m doing this for me, myself, and I.

I’m doing this because I sick of being the ‘big girl’ on the track team who’s only skill is strength and weight lifting.

I’m sick I’m being the tall girl on the volleyball court who’s only put in to play front row because I get too winded running around in the back, and I’m needed to block up front.

I’m sick of just being the funny and obnoxious friend, the one who has all the guys come to her for my friends’ numbers.

I am so sick and fucking tired of being seen as a mediocre athlete and human being.

I’m doing this because I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror and not get sick with how much I hate my body.

And if by taking control over myself means that I’m going to have to starve myself and run until I pass out, then so be it, because I have never gotten the chance to be the skinny friend. I’ve never had a thigh gap for as long as I can remember, I’ve always been the fat friend. And I’m SICK of it.

[cureofwellness]

Reblog if you actually hate the way you look!

Not just the «oh I look so ugly today», but you truly feel gross when you look at yourself in the mirror.

[wantssstobeskinny-deactivated20]

I AM A FAT GIRL WITH AN EATING DISORDER

I am overweight with an eating disorder. 

Weight does not define if you have an eating disorder or not. I grew up in a household where I was never told “you’re perfect the way you are” but instead was constantly urged to diet, no matter what my weight was. When I was 11 started to starve and lost weight rapidly, and after that my weight yo-yo’d for about a year because of starving and binging. I had the same thoughts. I ALWAYS WANTED to starve myself, but I couldn’t always do that. It’s the wanting to do it, the thought patterns, that make an eating disorder. My eating disorder has been getting worse because I’ve always been told to lose weight, and no matter how I lose the weight, even if it’s too fast, I’m congratulated, because a fat girl could never have an eating disorder, right?

An eating disorder is the believing you’re fat at any weight you’ve ever been, low or high. Even if you were never a low weight, it’s the aiming for an underweight goal weight. It’s spending most of your day looking at thinspo, meanspo, journaling about food, thinking about food, and starving yourself for as long as you can. It’s fantasizing about skinniness, having a whole page dedicated to your eating disorder thoughts because you NEED to get them out. It’s constantly looking for ways to hide your food, avoid binging, find things to do other than eat, ways to encourage yourself to keep starving, loving the feeling of dizziness, emptiness, and almost fainting because it makes you feel clean and like you’re making progress. It’s the not caring about all of the side effects because you WANT TO BE SKINNY. It’s all of these unhealthy thinking patterns that we all don’t care are unhealthy, or if we do, our eating disorder covers it up. 

My mom knows I have eating disorder behaviors but she says I don’t have a real eating disorder. I know why. It’s cause I’m fat and have never dropped too drastic amounts of weight. It’s because she can’t see into my thoughts and how much of a hell it is. Even when I tell her them, she doesn’t get me help, she just makes me eat and lets it go if I convince her I have. That’s what happens when you’re a fat girl with an eating disorder. If you were to say you had one, you’d get laughed at. People don’t notice that you drink Diet Coke and skip meals. They’re actually proud of you, if anything. They encourage you to diet, even if they notice unhealthy behaviors. When you say you’re not eating they don’t stop you, they don’t care. 

I am a fat girl with an eating disorder, and I am valid. So are you, if you are overweight and struggle. Thanks for reading

[thinspoxxxx]

me: *runs a thinspo blog*

also me: *is not thin*

[shesemptyy]

TOO REAL