are you ready for another post that’s just me straight up losing my mind about Xue Yang and Xiao Xingchen’s interaction here? because that’s what you’re getting!
like, there’s a lot going on here for Xue Yang, and I don’t think all of it is “haha sucker this is amazing” (though I do think that’s part of it). but I think that while that might be side by side with sheer relief that he’s at least sort of safe/not in imminent danger of death when he first realizes Xiao Xingchen doesn’t know who he is…I think this is the point where it shifts a little.
when he asks the question about why Xiao Xingchen isn’t asking who he is, he’s very blatantly inviting him to do just that and ask, and I don’t doubt he has a lie ready for it (just as I don’t doubt he’s also ready for that lie to fail). but that’s not what Xiao Xingchen does: instead, he not only offers this easy acceptance of his silence (”since you’re not talking about it, why should I ask?”) he also does two other things that I think contribute to Xue Yang’s “are you for real” face in those last two screencaps.
the first is his easy dismissal of what he’s doing as anything much: “I’m just helping a stranger I met by chance. It’s not a big deal.” for Xue Yang, for whom help has never been something that he just got, and when he did it has strings…that’s got to be both a little infuriating (”actually that is a big deal what the fuck”) and also sort of breathtaking in its sheer…openness. like, yes, Xiao Xingchen doesn’t know who he is (and wouldn’t be doing this if he did), but even so he’s still reaching out and offering this kindness and help to a complete stranger, no questions asked.
that’s just…not something that happens, in Xue Yang’s world - but here it is.
and second: “if we were to swap places.” the thing here, I think, is the idea of someone thinking of that possibility - of believing that there is a point of view in there that’s understandable and could belong to Xiao Xingchen. I’m having a harder time expressing this, but it’s something about…you don’t swap places with an animal. you don’t “if I were you” someone without having some kind of recognition of them as a person whose perspective has value.
and I think that’s kind of a lot.
hence that sort of smile and laugh that looks, to me, more incredulous than anything else. are you for real, Daozhang? past history and Xue Yang’s own understanding of the world says no, but there he is.
