being a victim of emotional, mental, and even physical abuse by my narcissistic, sociopathic ex, i can SEE where people are coming from when they say that Reylo is abusive. BUT, i can also see how they arent.
first of all, just to make things clear, just because kylo has known NOTHING but betrayal and manipulation for the past few years, does not in any way mean it is OKAY for him to manipulate Rey. Yes, he does it because that’s ALL HE KNOWS. But, that doesn’t make it okay. i know some people are arguing that it’s okay because of what he’s been through. but no, it’s still hurtful and not exscusable.
BUT, he DOES mean well. He cares about Rey, but he doesn’t know how to show it in the right way. he is not abusive or manipulative by nature. it isn’t who HE IS. he’s TRYING to be what he wants her to be. he just doesn’t know how. but he’s trying. and he IS CHANGING. abusive people don’t change.
kylo cares about rey, unlike most abusers. my abuser only loved how i MADE HIM FEEL or what i could PROVIDE FOR HIM. kylo cares about REY, not about what she can do for him.
kylo is not a narcissist, and he’s not an abuser. he does have sociopathic tendencies due to the trauma that he’s been through, but he’s TRYING to be better.
narcisitists don’t act this way. ben is patient with Rey, calm around her, and actually LISTENS to her when she talks about her feelings.
he literally kills snoke for her (& himself obvi), fights the guards with her back to back in perfect unison, and asks her to be with him.
kylo ren, the “villainous face of star wars”
also, he literally had a calligraphy set, he was intelligent and artistic, and he just wanted to be himself. he just wanted to be BEN. no light, no dark. but then everything went to shit when luke turned on him, causing ben to lose himself and turn to the only person that was left; Snoke.
through his connection with snoke, he became a manipulated person, conflicted and pained by his past and his decisions even now.
but ben had grown up long enough to not be abusive by nature. he was old enough when snoke took him in to still have the traits of compassion and intelligence, of right vs wrong.
he didn’t GROW UP in an abusive atmosphere like most abusers do.
he had just been under snokes control, and under the impression that everyone he cared about turned on him/feared or hated him, so he turned cold, defeated, and falsely worshipping his grandfather, vader.
i’m going off topic now so i’ll bring it back around
kylo ren/ben solo is not an abuser. reylo is not abusive. they are both struggling to come to terms with their feelings and with who they are meant to be.
kylo cares about rey, abusers don’t have that capacity.
kylo is TRYING to be better for her and himself. something that abusers NEVER DO because they don’t SEE that there’s anything wrong with what they do.
but kylo knows killing is wrong, he doesn’t like to do it, he doesn’t like blowing up planets. we’ve been made aware of this.
he was torn apart when he saw the other fighters shoot at his mom when he refused to do it himself.
thanks and have a good day
if you don’t agree that’s fine, but i was in an abusive relationship long enough to see what it means.
i believe that kylo will be redeemed. his place isn’t with the first order. his place is being at peace with himself, and therefore creating peace around him with the ones he loves. healing together and bringing balance once again.
titsay
areudirty
janainaart
jbbartram-illu
germansingergirl
gummygunk
annaxmalina
kianamaiart
yousharknotpass
origamiaround
