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@yakuza-everywhere
Kiryu: I've never actually tried marijuana.
Majima: Me either.
Majima: Never had the time for it.
Kiryu: Right.
Majima: Ya know... If we ever were to try it, tonight is kinda the perfect night.
Kiryu: I guess you're right...
Kiryu: Haruka is at a sleep over.
Kiryu: And I'm wearing my velcro sneakers.
Majima: Let's do it!
Kiryu: Haruka, you know she's my number one girl-
Majima: Excuse me?
Majima: She's your number one girl?!
Kiryu: Of course she is! You know this!
Majima: If Haruka and I were standing on train tracks, and you can only save one of us-
Kiryu: Obviously Haruka.
Majima: WHAT
Kiryu: What are you doing playing on the tracks anyway!? You're an adult, you should know better!
Majima: I cannot believe this.
Kiryu: Haruka is a child! Don't take her on the train tracks with you!
Majima, narrating: If you look hard enough. You can see love everywhere.
Majima: Take my commute to work as an example.
Majima: Every stage of life and romance is on display.
Majima: The shy glances of new love blossoming, the passionate embraces of young lovers, two old folks who .. still seem pretty into each other.
Kiryu: Would you please stop narrating?!
Majima: I can't help it Kiryu-chan, I can't have these beautiful insights and not share them with someone!
Kiryu: Can you share it with those people over there? They might want to hear it.
Majima: No, I'm standing next to you Kiryu-chan. I can't run into someone on the subway that I know and not stand next to them! That's weird.
Kiryu: It's not weird. W-whats weird about it? Weird would be if the train stopped and suddenly it's the 1940s.
Majima: Whoooaaa.... Then what happens?
Kiryu: What? Look it's just an example. I'm not.. trying to tell you a story.
Majima: Are you kidding me, Kiryu-chan?! That's like a great- you're kind of a natural story teller!
Kiryu, walking away: Okay, that's enough.
Majima, continuing his narration: Or you can see the single dad, bitter over his boyfriend not spending the night.
Majima: Will he ever forgive his handsome boyfriend and come back to stand beside him--
Kiryu: NO
Majima: Only time will tell!
Kiryu: No, time won't tell.
Majima: Yes it will.
Nishida: Have a great day, Majima!
Majima: Don't tell me what kind of day to have, being all presumptuous and rude.
Nishida: .....
Majima: ......
Kiryu: .....
Kiryu: Hey, Majima.
Kiryu: I hope today shimmers for you.
Majima, grinning: You know, Kiryu; I think it will!
Nishida: .......
Majima: What the fuck is that thing?
Kiryu, carrying a poorly made sculpture: A mermaid.
Majima: It makes me uncomfortable.
Kiryu: .... I made it.
Majima: ..... I love it.
Majima: Alright, where's your wine?
Kiryu: I don't have any.
Majima: Ya don't?! What about beer?
Kiryu: No beer.
Majima: No wine?! No beer?! How do ya relax?!
Kiryu: I don't.
Majima: Oh. Right.
Majima everywhere: gamer edition
Majima and Kiryu laying in bed while Majima watches nature documentaries...
Majima, sighing at the TV: Why don't we ever do this stuff?
Kiryu, reading a book and not paying attention: Do what?
Majima, gesturing to the TV: This!
Kiryu, looks up: .... Birds?
Majima: No, ya goof! Nature!
Kiryu: Uh. Okay.
Majima: * Humming to himself *
Kiryu: What song is that? I don't recognize it.
Majima: Ah. It's a song I made up.
Kiryu, interested: Oh? What is it?
Majima: Big butt, Big butt, Kiryu-chan's big ol' butt.
Kiryu: ..... You made a song up about my butt?
Majima: Yes.
Kiryu: You seem like a reasonable Yakuza member...
Kiryu: We are also reasonable Yakuza members -
Majima: I'm not!
Saw a Kiryu cosplayer at this convention but they disappeared in the crowd and now I'm scanning /everyone/ for him. Have never felt more like Majima in my life.
Kiryu: ... I wonder what 'spray coffee' is.
Majima: It makes you spray out of ya ass.
Majima: Assume the position!
Kiryu: ...What's the position?
Majima: I haven't got a fucking clue.
Majima, sniffing around Kiryu: What is that smell??
Kiryu, sniffing inside his shirt collar: What? Is it bad?
Majima, nosing at Kiryu's chest: No! It's delicious!
Kiryu: Haruka got me cupcake scented deodorant...
Majima: ....
Majima: Well. I've never wanted to eat ya armpits before, this is new.
Kiryu: All we have to do is find someone to marry you.
Majima: ....
Kiryu: .....
Majima: .....
Kiryu: You know, a little prayer might not be such a bad idea after all.
Majima: Ass.
Majima: So, Kiryu and I are having sex tomorrow.
Saejima: Ew. Not in front of my dinner.
Majima: Well, sorry! It's our first time together and it's kinda a big deal.
Saejima: First time? I thought sex was like shaking hands for you.
Goromi, looking through high heels while shopping and tossing the display shoes to the salesmen behind her.
Goromi: I'll try these in plum.
Goromi: These in leopard.
Goromi: These...
She pauses, inspecting the heeled shoe, and frowns before dropping it to the floor.
Goromi: Nah, forget it.
Goromi: No lady wants to see anything under four inches.
