Something that I needed to get off my chest
“Wait, you’re not interested in sex? Boy, you don’t know what you’re missing! ;)”
“Back in my day, we just called it ‘waiting for the right person’ ”
“You just haven’t met the right one yet, I promise.”
“So you say you can be attracted to anyone, but you don’t like sex? How does that even work?!”
What do you mean? EVERYBODY likes sex!“
“Wait, are you one of those special snowflakes?”
“Oh God, not one of those made-up sexualities that are all the rage on Tumblr!”
“You sure you’re not just a prude?”
“That doesn’t sound healthy. Have you talked to a doctor about this?”
Some of the MANY reasons why I don’t usually tell people that on top of being bi/pan, I am also on the asexual spectrum, most likely on the demi/grey side. And yes, a lot of these things have been said to my face when I did open up.
Even within the LGBTQ+ community, ace peeps are treated like a joke or as fakers. And demisexuals are regarded as non-existent because it’s one of those ‘made up sexualities’ just because not everyone has heard about it.
Yes, I DO know what sex is, but I just have no interest in a physical relationship with someone unless there is a very strong bond and a solid sense of trust, which can take years to develop. That is not 'waiting for the right person’. I am not waiting for anyone. I am not frigid or a prude, I simply don’t feel comfortable with being intimate, even though I wouldn’t mind having a loving relationship.
Ace peeps CAN still be in a relationship, but the world still has this idea that a relationship cannot function without physical intimacy. That’s why a lot of ace people feel broken or that something’s missing, myself included. It’s taken me a long while to realize that nothing’s broken. This is who I am and I hope that I can see the day where everyone would just get that and not jump on my case just because I don’t like sex. It’s not your business!
So yeah, I guess that kinda makes it official. This years Pride Month, I am coming forward to say that I am very certain that I am on the ace spectrum. This has been very tough for me to admit and it’ll probably take a long time for me to figure out a whole lot of other stuff. But in the meantime, I hope this won’t change how my friends and family think of me. I’m still me.
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