Emma Swan

Dust to Dust

@adreamcatcherandakeychain

After Neal’s fight with Rumple, he went off on his own. He still couldn’t get over the fact that his father had tried to kill Emma. He knew eventually he’d have to forgive him, but right now, he couldn’t. Not with Emma’s situation especially. In a way, Neal blamed Rumple for it. He knew it wasn’t fair to do so but he couldn’t help it.

As he continued to walk through the forest, Neal heard some noises up ahead. Not knowing what to expect, but being smart enough to know you had to be cautious in the Enchanted Forest, he crept closer, using the shadows to hide his form.

He saw the cart and its occupants and then he spotted Emma. Still hiding in the shadows, Neal strained to listen and continued watching. When the man grabbed her wrist, it took every ounce of willpower he had not to march out there and rip him apart. The surge of anger that ran through him both surprised and scared him. He held back, watching to see Emma’s reaction.

It happened as quick as lightning. The man reached for the necklace. Without a moment’s hesitation, Emma’s wrist moved and the man turned into a mouse before skittering away. Neal froze in his spot. He was hit with a sudden flashback. He was a young boy, his father the Dark One. He’d been hurt accidentally and Rumple was enraged. He turned the man into a snail and stepped on it.

Thrust out of his flashback, Neal was shaking. All of that trauma that for so long he kept buried was now clawing its way to the surface. Taking a deep breath, Neal forced himself to calm down. He didn’t have time to fall apart. Emma needed him now and that was more important.

Stepping out from the shadows, he spoke. “You’re right. You did. And he didn’t listen.” He murmured. “You did what you had to do, Emma.” Neal could understand the differences in the two situations. Rumple had been reacting out of anger and retaliation for someone hurting his son. Emma had acted out of fear. Whether she would admit it or not, despite all the power, she was afraid. But, more than anything Neal knew she was afraid of herself and what she was capable of. “Sometimes we have to make hard choices.”

She turned that man into a mouse. It seemed fitting. He was vermin. His colors screamed vile being. The overpowering stench of tobacco and rum did nothing to help his persona. The sniveling drunkard thought he'd been so suave - so smoothly charismatic. To a lesser person his faux charm might woo, but not her and not now. "He should have known not to keep a woman from her child," Emma whispered.

"That man deserved what he got. You were lenient. He should be grateful for your kindness," whispered a cloaked being in her ear. Emma couldn't help but glance towards the speaker. Yes, he was right - she had been lenient. There were far worse things she could have done and Emma knew it.

But why was she crying? She was the Dark One! Dark Ones didn't cry. If they hurt - they hurt back. There was no time for remorse in such a life. Was there? She could not be the weak one, especially right now when there was so much at stake. There were plans to be made and executed. But first, her son. Nothing would stop Emma from finding the boy and making sure he was all right.

He had tried to stop her on her quest. That was not wise. Yet she still felt bad and mourned for his new anamorphic shape. What if he had had a family (a wife, a child... children)? They would miss him, surely. However, the vermin had sweated alcohol and oozed nastiness. This was no good man that came into her radar. Emma doubted that he ever was a good man. Yet, still she felt bad (sick bad).

She could not cry for him. This was her first Dark deed. The undeniable truth was that there would be more and crying for each of them would drain her. She needed to keep her energy up so she could focus on her plans - find Henry, build a castle, and then.... She did not know what would come next. She didn't know what her goal would be. There was time to figure that out.

When Neal spoke, Emma glanced his way. "He was a very, very bad man. I gave him more than he deserved. It was lenient. I thought of worse, but him becoming a mouse seemed appropriate," Emma mumbled. "I just wanted... I want... to find our son. He was trying to stop me. I wasn't going to let him hurt me. He was going to hurt me, Neal. What I did to him was not a hard choice. It was the easiest thing I have ever done. There was no thinking involved or feeling or anything. What does that say about me?"

writerofstorybrooke

When she stroked his cheek, he couldn’t help but flinch away slightly. He didn’t feel comfortable with her trying to comfort him while discussing murdering people. “Mom, you can protect me without killing most of the time. If you have to, that’s one thing. But … don’t let the darkness make you kill when you don’t have to.”

She was becoming the person she was meant to be? No, that wasn’t right. Emma wasn’t a murderer. His mom would never truly be a murderer. “That’s not you Mom. That’s the darkness talking. Maybe you need to be different, but you don’t have to hurt people to change who you are.” Henry just hoped Emma would listen to him.

Henry retreated from her touch. If asked, the Dark One would deny that his actions hurt. Dark Ones did not need anyone or anything, but themselves. It would be a lie though. Her baby boy recoiling from the gesture synched her stomach. His actions pained her - a dagger in the stomach would not be as bad as this. "Did I say I would go around murdering people for the hell of it, Henry?" Emma snapped. "But that does not mean I won't do what is necessary to keep you alive."

"People are complicated. Heroes aren't just good and villains aren't just evil. You, of all people, should know. Sometimes good people have to do very bad things. Does it make it right?" she asked, although did not expect an answer. "It is not the darkness that sways my words, Henry. It is experience that drives me." Henry was too young to understand. The world could be dark and bleak. Sometimes fighting is the only way to protect the glimmers of light.

Stony Choices (Emma and Neal)

Emma collapsed against Neal's chest and held him for dear life. She wrapped her fingers around the tunic he wore as she sobbed. Each beat of her heart felt like it could be the last. It was so very painful as if this heart would explode with grief. Through the tears Neal's familiar scent (an earthy smell of sweat, figs, and wood smoke). She used it in attempts to calm herself and it worked - if only a little bit.

"No, Neal, it's not," Emma squeaked, hating to feel this vulnerable and needy. She was the Savior and the Dark One. Much of her life was spent with no one but herself for company. She had prided herself on not needing a guy to be content (those chick flicks seemed so silly). Besides, it wasn't safe to need or even to be around anyone. "It's not okay."

She allowed Neal to lead him inside and then she crumpled to the floor in front of the hearth. "It is not okay," Emma repeated, staring into the flames as she shivered. "I am the villain now Neal! I am the danger. It's not safe for me to be around anyone. I don't want to hurt the ones I love the most, but I will. Dark Ones hurt. It's what they do. I am no different."

"You...you love me?" she stuttered after she sat in silence. "I love you too. I love you with all my heart. And it hurts. Every time you have left me it hurts. but, I want you even more. Every time. I love you and I'm afraid. I'm so very afraid."

Glancing at her dress and her palms, Emma sniffed. "I was running and I fell. I guess I scraped up my palms. I'm sorry for the blood on your shirt," she whispered. "After I turned the town to stone I had to get away. Those people were ruthless as they spoke of you and your father. I just snapped."

adreamcatcherandakeychain

Neal couldn’t help but blush. “Emma…I always think you’re beautiful. But, I have to admit, I like the old look better.” He said, shrugging. “The pain, the heartache. It’s still there, Emma. You may not allow yourself to feel it anymore, but it doesn’t make it go away.”

“Well, Henry is very wise.” He said. So far, Neal had been able to control his temper but Emma’s words made him snap. “Don’t make him out to be some kind of hero! He killed people, tortured them! Why? Because he fucking could! Thatis a bad thing! And ironically, he left me fatherless anyway, didn’t he? You know what they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

“You’re lying to yourself if you think you can be both.”

She'd made him blush. Oh, that was unexpected. So was his next statement. Annoyed, she flicked her wrist. Instead of the black and shiny silver gown, Emma wore combat boots, a plaid dress, and pleather jacket as well as glasses and bright red lipstick. "Better?" she asked with a cock of her head. "As for my feelings...did I say they weren't there? No, Neal. I said they made me stronger."

Oh, she'd made him angry. What fun. It seemed this Dark One power allowed her to know what buttons to push; that could be very usable. While she liked that bit of information, it still made her queasy. Emma decided not to use it if she didn't have to. "Your use of hero is quite ironic," she pointed out. "Your father is a hero now, Neal. He's the Savior with a heart that's a blank slate. Didn't you know? We switched places when the darkness left his very core."

"I will do what I must to protect my family. I can't promise anything but that, Neal," she told him. "Don't you make me."

She rolled her eyes at his daftness (at least to Emma he seemed so very dense right then). "My outfit, silly," replied the Dark One as she stopped in front of the man. Placing a hand on her hips, she awaited Neal's response. A smile curled over her lips, although she did not reveal her teeth in doing so, and her eyes glinted with playful passion.

She shrugged. The Darkness made her indifferent towards the struggles of her past and Emma preferred it that way. "It is what it is, I suppose. It has made me stronger and more determined. It has given me a focus that I did not know I possessed," Emma replied. "I feel as if my senses have come alive and I like that very, very much."

A laugh escaped her now parted lips. "You sound like Henry, you know that?" Emma asked. "And perhaps bad things happen so that good can conquer. Your own father broke his leg, did he not? He did it so you would not be fatherless, correct? And he took on this Darkness to stop a war and save the children. Is that a bad thing?"

writerofstorybrooke

. You can get things done without hurting people. And sometimes the Savior needs saving. We aren’t going to give up on you. None of us will.”

"Oh, Henry, my dear...dear boy, why would I speak what I do not mean? That's a very dangerous think to do," she cautioned. Emma reached up and stroked her son's cheek. "Henry, there are bad people in this world. Some of them are not swayed by pacifism. I will do anything to protect you. You're my family."

She chuckled. There was no humor in the sound, though. "Boy, I do not need saving. I am becoming the woman I was destined to be. I am becoming embracing the person my parents attempted to stifle."

Emma watched the man as he watched her. Ooo...she liked this attention. It made her feel bold and vivacious. It made her feel powerful. A disarming smile curled her lips upwards into a larger grin. This adoration was something she could get used to very easily. "You like?" Emma asked in fake innocence.

Her challenged emotions settled as things clicked in her head. The more she spoke, the more clear it became. Although it did bring more questions to mind. Did Henry's defiance bring all of Neal back? The man hadn't spoken. What if Neal was left mute? Well, that wouldn't be fun although Emma assumed she could restore it - for a price of course. Even if she was the Dark One, Emma still had a soft-spot for certain people and things. Neal with his gravelly voice was one such item on that very short list.

So Neal could talk. Good. "Well, it is true. I've seen you die twice haven't I? You were fatally shot at the portal. Then...back in the woods when I pulled you from your dear papa. And that separation was a pretty bold move, too," Emma pointed out as she circled him. Man, he was fine looking. When he pointed out that all magic had a price, she had to laugh. "Oh, I am sure of it. It's going to be wonderful to see it unfold. I wonder what will happen next. I wonder what I ought to do with these powers. I can't waste them, can I?"

Stony Choices (Emma and Neal)

This wasn't how things were supposed to be. Everyone needed to be in Storybrooke, safe and sound. They didn't need to be back in the Enchanted Forest running from danger - running from her. She needed to be Savior, even if Emma didn't like that role or title and still did not understand what it exactly was. Now, the world she knew was in shambles.

She knew in her heart that she was no longer Henry's mother. She couldn't be - it was too dangerous. Her parents probably wanted nothing to do with her. She had no home and surely no one cared about her. No one cared about Dark Ones; no one should. She'd lost everything close to her heart.

"All the more reason to embrace who you are. You can earn respect," whispered a man in her ear. She didn't know him. She didn't know how or when he showed up, although Emma vaguely recalled seeing his form when she'd turned the man into a mouse. His form hadn't been clear then, but she could now make out his eyes, nose, and mouth.

"NO! I don't know who you are, but no," she shouted, looking at her scraped and muddy hands as if they were foreign objects. The power within her fingertips made her sick. She wrapped her arms around her waist in attempts to control the nausea and the grief. It didn't help. She didn't know if anything would help.

"You deserve respect after all you've been through. You're not the Savior anymore, but you're still a survivor," continued the man. In attempts to drown out this person (who Emma had a feeling was not actually present) she banged again on the door. She pressed harder and louder. Why wouldn't the door open up? Emma was about to kick the door in with her foot when someone finally answered.

However, her hand was still in motion. Before the new Dark One could stop her hand, it pressed against Neal's shoulder. When she pulled away a bloody and muddy handprint was left upon his shoulder. "Neal, you're here. I...I...needed you and didn't know where you were. And I...I ran and I found you," she sobbed shaking her head. "No. No. What am I? What have I become? I turned a man into a mouse and I...I turned your old village into stone."

Stony Choices (Emma and Neal)

She turned a whole village to stone. With a flick of the wrist she just did it and didn't bat an eye. At the time, Emma walked away thinking that was a brilliant move and those people deserved it. After all, this village had mocked Rumplestiltskin when he was a mere peasant. She hated those people who still whispered stories of the town coward and his son Baelfire. No one mocked her family.

Emma passed through this goat-filled, dilapidated village, minding her own business all the while trying to find herself a suitable place to lay down roots in this kingdom, when the stories filled her ears. She'd even begged several townsfolk to stop it. But, the drunkards Emma faced didn't listen and the Dark One reared its ugly head.

Now, as the full moon rose over the Eastern horizon while the sun settled into the western landscape, she doubted her decision. Soon that doubt turned to dismay, which sent a lump of lead into her stomach. Why had she done that? Why couldn't she leave well enough alone? Wanting to throw up, Emma stared (revolted) at her hands and then she ran.

She ran so fast her shoes fell from her feet. Bare feet sliding through mud, Emma fell forward and caught herself with her hands before she went face-first into the dirt. The Dark One did not slow down - not even as her dress snagged and ripped on branches - until she reached a cabin.

It was nondescript, really and reminded her of the little house in the animated Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. However, something told her this place was special and that she needed to be there. Slowing, Emma went to the door and banged on it with her palm. Then standing there, Emma wept.

@writerofstorybrooke

“You want to be the Dark One? You want to hurt people? Mom, you’re the savior. This isn’t you. Don’t listen to the curse. Let me help you!”

“Things aren’t as cut and dried as you’re trying to make them, Henry Daniel. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to be Savior. Or maybe the Savior needs a little darkness in her to get things done.”

writerofstorybrooke

“I know magic comes with a price. But you’re worth the risk.”

“Maybe I didn’t want saved? Maybe this is the path I wanted to take, Henry.”

writerofstorybrooke

“Mom, we came here to find the Sorcerer. We’re going to figure out how to free you from the curse.”

“All magic comes with a price, Henry. You know that or you should. WHy take the risk?”