I love trolling fictional characters. Especially this one; he makes such fun noises when you squeeze him. <3
I like how he never brings up the issue of “What are you talking about men can’t get married why would I want to marry a man that’s gross you’re gross.” O rly, “President”? Something you’d like to share with the rest of the class?
UPDATE: I wish I could actually respond to this, but I know for definites that I could never fit it within the character limit. So, I’ll post it here.
Okay then, Mister Democratically-elected Official. I just figured that since you keep trying to get people to refer to you by your first name, but they never do, because they hate you, you might appreciate someone using it for once. How do you feel about “Davy I”, though?
But to the point. I think you’re missing some key details. To start, obviously legal custody is not what you’re going for, so it shouldn’t matter if Ben is his father by law or not— incidentally, I’m surprised that you have custody laws in place, since there was apparently no law in place allowing for Todd’s biological parents to transfer custody in the event of their deaths. But that’s neither here nor there, as even had you married Todd’s biological father, you still wouldn’t be granted any custody over him, as he has reached the age of majority in your society.
Which leads me to the meat of my argument. As things stand, Todd doesn’t exactly like you very much and, as an adult, there’s nothing stopping him from grabbing Ben and Viola and riding off into the night, never to be seen, nor heard from again (except, perhaps, for the distant echo of “See ya’, fucker!”). Unless, of course, you were to imprison him or threaten his loved one, which, I actually think I need to tell you, will not endear him to you. Like, at all.
And, as much as you hate it, you’re going to have to accept that Todd loves Ben and Ben will be an influence in his life, because your only other option is to remove him from the situation. And, again, I do need to tell you that this would make Todd hate you forever. You are going to have to finesse this situation like the boss you are.
Now, what you’re missing here is that marrying Ben is only the first step of the plan. The real action comes when Todd realizes that, in order to spend any time with Ben, he’s going to also have to spend time with you. And it’s not because you’re threatening to kill his girlfriend or anything— this time, it’s just because you’re his step father, and there’s nothing he can do about it! Plus, as Ben’s waifuhusband, you’re in a position to undermine his influence on Todd without running into any of the pesky side-effects of previously-mentioned solutions.
As for your, uh, career, I hardly think marriage would hinder that. Plenty of people get married, only to dedicate all of their time to entirely different pursuits— it’ll be fine.
Obviously, you’re no stranger to psychological manipulation— you just haven’t taken it far enough. Don’t just decide to switch to violence half-way through when you have so many more tools at your disposal.
P.S. What’s it like to have an entire colony of ants screaming your thoughts into your head while you’re trying to sleep? How’s that working out for you? I bet Ben has that all taken care of.
vaporwave
snowghoul
turnnoffyourmind
discoholicmusic
stormborns
tangentwithtanner
yousharknotpass
