Please reblog if you are okay with random starters, pre-established relationships and responses to ask memes. I need some new people to bug with starters & what nots.Â
DEAR READER

Discoholic đȘ©
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
cherry valley forever
taylor price
styofa doing anything
Mike Driver
Keni

Kiana Khansmith
Three Goblin Art

ç„æ„ / Permanent Vacation
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Not today Justin
will byers stan first human second

ellievsbear
YOU ARE THE REASON

JVL
tumblr dot com
Sweet Seals For You, Always

â

seen from United Kingdom
seen from France
seen from Israel
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from TĂŒrkiye

seen from Malaysia

seen from Canada
seen from Sweden
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Japan
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
@yijeongy
Please reblog if you are okay with random starters, pre-established relationships and responses to ask memes. I need some new people to bug with starters & what nots.Â
âI know what you need, ice cream and a bad movie!â
He lets out a heavy groan, head falling back as his hand covers up his eyes. "That's exactly what I need. After today.." He peeks through his fingers and stares at the ceiling. "after today, I need to just chill. I'm down."
âBro-date, just you me and some nice something."
"I think I can fit that in." He pulls his phone out to see if he has the time as well as if he had gotten any texts or orders from his boss, a job he doesn't talk about much, never. "Are you free now? And what's the something nice?"
âUgh, I canât stay mad at you.â
There's a slight grin, playful would be the best word to describe it. "Of course, there's no way you could stay mad at me. It's not even like it was my fault..."
text message reaction
[MSG:] What part of âhe tried to put his dick in my earâ do you not understand?!
[MSG:] Okay, so next time, maybe use a tighter knot?
[MSG:] HOW DO YOU LOSE A CONDOM MID-INTERCOURSE?!
[MSG:] As he was cumming he yelled âYahtzeeâ then said I was free to go. That was my one night stand.
[MSG:] âSorryâ doesnât fix the chafing around my asshole!
[MSG:] Relax, just get some good concealer and no one will even notice the bite marks.
[MSG:] Okay, so apparently asking a boy âwhoâs your mommy?â doesnât have the same affect as âwhoâs your daddy?â.
[MSG:] He asked âwhoâs your daddyâ and I said I donât know.
[MSG:] If I pick up a girl, and then she picks up a guy, and we all leave together, did I pick up the guy?
[MSG:] On the upside, thatâs one less thing on our sexytimes bucket list!
[MSG:] Come hell or highwater we WILL manage to have sex at work without getting caught one of these days.
[MSG:] Next time youâre taking nude pics for me, maybe glance around the room to make sure your MOMâS NOT THERE.
[MSG:] Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
[MSG:] SLUTTIEST. HALLOWEEN. EVER.
[MSG:] I canât believe you fell asleep in the middle.
[MSG:] Dude, Iâve got to get back on her good side. Iâve tried masturbating⊠itâs not the same.
[MSG:] Long story short, we had to call the fire department to get the handcuffs off.
[MSG:] I told you not to buy lube from a tourist shop!
[MSG:] Whatâs never happened before? The premature ejaculation or the ten minutes of crying afterwards?
[MSG:] So not only did my roommate NOT leave when he saw I had a girl there, HE STARTED SHOUTING BITS OF ADVICE.
[MSG:] Walked in on my boss nailing his secretary on the copy machine. Itâs gonna be a VERY awkward meeting tomorrowâŠ
[MSG:] Mom found our âcollection.â
[MSG:] I donât even know if I LIKE sober sex anymore.
[MSG:] Banging your kidâs teacher never ends well.
[MSG:] Her dad came home when we were âbusyâ so I ended up jumping out her window and getting dressed while I ran up the block to my car. FML
[MSG:] Itâs just one of those days where Iâm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
[MSG:] Turns out Iâm not as bendy as I thought⊠it was fun trying, though!
[MSG:] We rented a porno to get ideas. Long story short⊠we need a new showerhead.
[MSG:] Never take sex advice from your older brother.
[MSG:] Any recommendations for how to tell your girlfriend about the pics of her sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
[MSG:] HE WAS LOOKING RIGHT AT ME. JACKING OFF. ON A PUBLIC CITY BUS. I SHIT YOU NOT.
[MSG:] Speaking French in bed SOUNDS hot, but turns out I only know âbaguetteâ and âbonjour.â
[MSG:] So the threeway turned out to be a twoway while the third one sat and watched in a chair.
[MSG:] NEVER ANSWER THE PHONE IN THE MIDDLE OF SEX EVER AGAIN
[MSG:] We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
[MSG:] Long story short, sheâs passed out, weâre both naked, Iâm gagged and canât get the knot undone, weâre in the closet at her momâs house. SEND HELP.
[MSG:] Also, Iâve finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is okay.
[MSG:] Iâm sorry I laughed. But, honey, you were trying to give me a striptease and you tripped on your pants!
[MSG:] So today I found out my momâs dating my ex-boyfriend, and sheâs kinkier than I am. Fuck divorce.
[MSG:] Well, I never thought in the future Iâd be able to say âhey remember that Easter when I made porn?â
[MSG:] I have to admit, Iâve never heard of more than two people watching porn togetherâŠ
[MSG:] I donât think bruises are supposed to turn green.
[MSG:] That girlâs pussy is like White Castle, you crave it once in awhile, but next morning you regret eating it.
[MSG:] Never sneeze while eating a girl out.
[MSG:] I know he was trying his best to be sexy, but Johnny Depp, he is not.
[MSG:] PENISES ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE THAT OH MY GOD
[MSG:] So it turns out heâs not into bondage.
[MSG:] Iâm straight, but shit happens.
Frienship starter sentences!
roleplayaskmemes:
âYouâre my best friend, youâre supposed to tell me when Iâm dating an asshole.â
âBro-date, just you me and some nachos.â
âAs your friend Iâm allowed to tell you when youâre being an ass and youâre being an ass.â
âRemember that time we pretended we were dating because that creep wouldnât leave you alone? Good times.â
âYouâre not alone, youâve got me.â
âOnly you would find my offensive jokes funny.â
âIâll be your wingman!â
âI know what you need, ice cream and a bad movie!â
âNo wonder people think weâre a couple, we eat pizza naked together.â
âPlease donât tell anyone, I trust you.â
âDonât push me away, youâre my best friend.â
 âYouâve told me that story twenty times already.â
âYouâre such a bitch/jerk, itâs a good job you buy me food.â
âSomeone was talking smack about you, long story short I spent a night in a cell.â
âIâm only saying this because weâre friends, you can do so much better.â
âThey think weâre together, I think we should play along.â
âNo homo, but I love you like I love pizza.â
âI know weâre not kids, but I really think we should have a sleepover.â
âAre you eating my food?â
âUgh, I canât stay mad at you.â
âYou borrowed this three months ago, can I have it back?â