Hello! You can call me Lime. Pronouns are she/her. This is my second account after the first one got hacked lmao.
I love to draw. This is gonna mainly be an art account. I love character designs and niche crossover AUs. It fuels my daydreaming. I also write fics. I post my writing sometimes.
I usually draw demon slayer (mainly the upper moons) or genshin. Main ship fixation is Kokudou, we love a rare pair. I also like bungo stray dogs, apothecary diaries, HSR, etc.Ā
ā§Art Tagsā§
[either au character designs, sketches or just mindless braindumps]
hantengu clones
aizetsu (cause he's my fave clone š)
wwtb (fanart based on @hantengudelulu 's fic. im obsessed with it)
kokudou
douma (my goat)
kokushibo
Where the Moon Hunts (kokudou, upper moons x hitman au)
Blood Moon High (kokudou, monster high x KNY au)
Genshin
Genshin x kny crossover (working on that soon)
Ever after high x kny crossover (also soon)
ā§Writing ā§
I primarily write on ao3, mainly kokudou (that's my OTP):
Where the Moon Hunts - upper moon hitman au (kokudou)
Solace - prequel to wtmh (kokudou)
Shores of the Infinity - Captain!Kokushibo x Siren!Douma
On Pantalone, Dottore, and their Longing for Different Parts of Each Other
Still thinking too hard about the 6.6 Archon Quest and Anomalous Tree Marrows, so hereās an unhinged essay on the breathtaking tragedy of Pantalone and Dottore.
TLDR version
Pantalone insists that Dottore is Zandik because any alternative would be viscerally intolerable. He has to believe that some part of Zandik still persists within Dottore or else he has spent the better part of three centuries with his partnerās murderer
35 is the most selfish version of Dottore because he is Zandik immediately after he met Feofan, the manifestation of the moment he experiences what it means to be known, seen, and valued for his worldviews. In other words, he is Zandik once he knows what itās like to have something to lose
Their final scene in front of Irminsul is an acknowledgement that they are out of timeāliterally and symbolically. Dottore will die and Pantalone will eventually follow, yes. But they are also out of each otherās time, each longing for different versions of the other
(No, Iām not okay, but letās do this)
Let me preface this by acknowledging that my reading is informed by the fact that I ship them. Iāve been writing them as lovers since A Winter Nightās Lazzo came out, based solely on a familiarity with the Commedia dellāarte, a degree in identifying queer subtext, and a dream that Hoyo most definitely fulfilled. But the game is not being subtle here. Even if you donāt see their partnership as romantic, it is, at the very least, queerplatonic.
Regardless of how you interpret their relationship, the game makes it clear that Pantalone is the most significant person in Dottoreās life, more significant to Dottore than Dottore himself. Dottoreās primary recordāhis first memory in a game where memory is tantamount to life and identityāis a meticulously kept catalogue of every time his many selves saved and extended Pantaloneās life. It is Anomalous Tree Marrow I on purpose because Pantaloneās survival is written into every part of Zandikās soul, down to the 8 year old who scolds Pantalone for misplacing his glasses. Forget the bickering Segments, forget the god-making, world-changing experimentsāPantaloneās safety, survival, and even comfort (looking at you, Alpaca wool) comes first.
I hardly have words for how incomprehensibly tragic they are.
Feofan spent 50 years with Zandik, the notoriously unsympathetic scientist who had already cauterized his compassion by the time of their first meeting. This is the heretic who preferred to view humans as test subjects and machines rather than leave himself open to more rejection than what he had already experienced.
This guy sets his eyes on Pantalone and immediately wants to keep him forever. Zandik fell hard enough for Test Subject 3 after a single meeting that he not only decided to refrain from experimenting on him, but went and learned his name, put in a good word with Pierro, and spent the rest of his life (and death!!!) guaranteeing Feofan's continued existence. This is U-hauling to the nth degree.
Now for some quick math: Pantalone is 72 years old when Zandik dies on his 85th birthday, meaning it was a 33-year-old Zandik who first met a 20-year-old Pantalone.
I donāt think itās a coincidence that the 35-year-old Segment is the one who sees himself as the most selfish. Heās the closest to the 33-year-old Zandik who only needed one encounter with this nameless, injured, smooth-talking test subject before saying: āthis one is mine. Iām keeping him. Not just until I get bored. Not just until I need a new test subject. Forever.ā And this means that 35 is the first version of Zandik who sees himself as having something to lose. This is the Zandik who experienced a desire to keep Pantalone at his side for the rest of time. And also the Dottore who is still in the throes of NRE lol.
Prior to their in-game appearance, I headcannoned Pantalone as avaricious and possessive based on the Moment of Cessation artifact description. I still think he is in some respects, but Dottore definitely has him beat when it comes to sheer obsessive devotion.
If Dottore is the Segment who is closestātemporally speakingāto the moment in which he found a genuine partner whose views and values align with his own, then it doesnāt seem surprising that he would be the one most threatened by Zandikās existence. Again, his selfishness is the same selfishness that made Zandik want to keep Pantalone in the first place. His envy is that of knowing what it is like for someone to look at him and not see a monster for the first time, and it makes him monstrous. Dottore might not have actively killed Zandik, but the Anomalous Tree Marrow III certainly makes it seem as though he, at the very least, persuaded the other Segments to agree to a DNR should Zandik end up in critical condition:
The fact that he often refers to his fellow Segments as āmeā and āmyselfā makes me think heās talking about getting the other Segments onto his side here rather than to Zandik, who he often describes as being somewhat apart from himselves.
I think itās important to note that Dottore recognizes how Pantaloneās immortality cannot be guaranteed until Zandik dies. Zandik is the missing ingredient and Dottore understands this much. His willingness to let Zandik die can be partly attributed to his own selfishness and desire to supplant the original in all ways (including as Pantaloneās partner). But, regardless of intent, it also succeeds in ensuring Pantaloneās immortality, which has to be a fairly bitter pill for the latter to swallow.
Although Pantalone plays off the fact that he was unsettled by Zandikās death and dissection (interjecting with āI never said thatā when Dottore calls him on his past reaction during story time), it is abundantly clear that Pantalone experiences a potent emotional response every time one or more Zandik dies.
In the medical logs, for instance, Dottore makes a ājokeā about developing antidepressants for Pantalone. But, given the timing and the fact that there had been no prior indication that Pantalone suffered from depression, one can easily assume that Pantalone is grieving and Dottore is being an envious asshole about it. (āUnsettledā also feels like a very Dottore way to describe someone suffering the grief of losing their partner of 50 years).
Similarly, when Dottore eradicates the rest of the Segments, he pithily describes Pantalone as behaving like ālittle more than a decorative vaseā at the Harbinger meeting, which again comes across as a rather cold way of telling us that Pantalone is dissociating to cope with the grief of losing five more versions of Zandikāaspects he had, by then, lived with for four centuries. Ouch.
(At least Dottore thinks heās pretty.)
Pantalone never shares his emotions with us players directlyāhis feelings are always focalized through Dottoreās mocking asides about Pantaloneās behaviorsābut that honestly makes me think that Pantalone was even more distraught than what the text tells us. If even Dottore is making flippant comments that speak to him picking up on Pantaloneās distress, then it has to be pretty bad.
Partners, at the End, Even Still
And so Pantaloneās ongoing decision to maintain his partnership with Dottore is utterly excruciating on multiple levels. There is, of course, the fact that it dooms them both to deathāDottore immediately (big asterisk here because I donāt think heās dead for good but thatās another essay) and Pantalone once the Elixir runs out and old age finally catches up to him. But the emotional registers beneath all this are, in my mind, even more devastating.
Dottore is all Pantalone has left of Zandik. And yet Dottore is also the reason that heās all Pantalone has left of Zandik.
When Pantalone follows Dottore and stands at his side, he is standing beside his partner and his partnerās murderer at the same time. The only way Pantalone can reckon with the abject tragedy of this fact is by holding onto the belief that Dottore is Zandik and Zandik is Dottore and that he will always be part of him.
Feofan and Zandik had 50 years where they (presumably) continued to learn, grow, and evolve together. Dottore is fixed in time at 35, but Pantalone is mentally fixed in time at 72, the year Zandik died, after which 35 perfected the Elixir so that it would pause physical and mental aging.
When Dottore explains that the other Segments had erased his āuniqueness,ā he talks about how āa soul living forever in the past inevitably holds different views than he did in his later years,ā acknowledging that heās imprisoned by the moment of his own creation. The fact that he immediately pivots to then focus on Pantaloneās preservation is important because it reminds us that Pantalone is also frozen in time. He says:
There are a lot of ways we can read these lines. On the surface, we can simply read it as expository information to give the player some background on Pantaloneāit definitely is that for sure. We can also read it as an example of Dottoreās callousness, how he casually brings up Pantalone being trafficked.
But I think thereās another layer, too. Itās an example of how Dottore still latches onto the Pantalone that Zandik met at 33. And this isnāt the first time in the conversation that Dottore demonstrates how fixed his perspective is. Nearly four centuries have gone by and yet he still thinks the reason Pantalone is helping him is because he spared him as a test subject. Pantalone has already had to remind Dottore that he ascended to the rank of Harbinger on his own merit and that he isnāt there because of some quid pro quo from centuries ago. Rather, he sees their values and goals as fundamentally aligned. Pantalone is there for Zandik because he still sees Dottore as Zandik.
And so, when given the opportunity to say his final farewell, Pantalone says goodbye to Zandik. Despite the literal words he speaks, I donāt think heās actually asking what 35 prefers to be called. He already knows that 35 sees himself as Dottore from their prior conversation. What Pantalone is really asking is who he can say goodbye to in this moment, at the end, when they are finally free from fate itself. After the enormous personal sacrifices Pantalone has made, Dottore gives Pantalone the choice to see him as Zandik. And how heartbreaking is it that Pantalone does even though, by this point, it is Dottore who has spent some 330 years with Pantaloneācenturies more than Pantalone had ever experienced with Zandik.
It is, as far as final acts go, surprisingly selfless of Dottore to recognize what it means for Pantalone to see him that way, even though he himself despises being forever tied to Zandik. It is especially surprising coming from the Segment who wholeheartedly embraces his own greed and repeatedly proclaims himself to be the most selfish of them all. So much for not being able to change!
For me, their greatest tragedy is the fact that they are out of time from one another, asynchronous, yearning for each other in different forms and ages. Dottore is forever looking for the Feofan he met at 33; he sees their present relationship as contractually predicated on saving Feofan in the past. Pantalone, frozen at 72, looks for the remnants of the man who shared his worldviews in the most selfish version of Dottore.
The beautifully doomed romance of it all is that Pantalone isnāt in love with Dottore; heās in love with the idea that Dottore is still Zandik. The mercy of their final scene is the acknowledgement that theyāre yearning for different pieces of the whole and, to me, the recognition that takes place in this exchange feels like a final act of forgiveness.
You guys ever think about what Pantalone had to go through following the original Zandik's death? Obv all the grief and morning, but he also left his segments behind. How long did it take him to decide that these people were both his husband and not at the same time? That they were just fragments of the picture that was Zandik? And that his self-hatred was forever frozen in a way that ultimately cost him his life? How do you think Pantalone felt knowing his husband had, essentially, killed himself? That he couldn't even be angry at the people who left him for dead? And then to continue living for another 400 years with his shadows haunting you only to watch him die again and again and again?
Did you know the original Pantalone in the Commedia dell'arte was often depicted as a widow?
Dottore the Alchemist: Or, How Zandik Will Rise Again
In my excitement over lizardttore and Escher, I didnāt spare much thought to how the Pyro Gnosis might be central to Dottoreās revival. But then I saw what Hoyo titled Datattoreās final cutscene animation: Crucible of Causality.
What if they just gave us an enormous hint as to not only how he might come back but also how he might be redeemed enough to be playable without entirely eradicating his fundamental goal as a character? What if his death is one more step in his overarching plan of perfecting the human body and soul through the principles of alchemical enlightenment.
TLDR
Irminsul acts as a crucible in both senses of the word. It is a vessel in which substances can be subjected to extremely high temperatures and it is a significant trial that can lead to profound personal growth
Dottoreās 3-4-7 connection aligns him with the principles of alchemy
Esoteric interpretations of alchemy are primarily spiritual in nature. That is to say, transmuting metals into gold is an analogy for personal transformation and purification
As part of the seven stages of alchemy, Zandikās most āselfishā perspective (the ego) must be broken down, confronted by, and reintegrated into the remainder of his soul
Nahidaās goodbye is so exaggerated as a red herring; 35 is dead, but Zandik will return as the enlightened version of himself thanks to the Pyro Gnosis, which is tied to resurrection
In analytical psychology, the burning phase of alchemy is a metaphor for confronting the shadows within to eventually reach wholeness
(Iām coping so hard yāall. I need to believe heās coming back.)
The Crucible and the Verdict of the Soul
Defined literally, a crucible is a heat-resistant vessel in which metals or other substances can be melted, purified, and transformed. Alchemy requires a crucible; these are the containers in which alchemy occurs.
Figuratively, a crucible is an extreme or agonizing trial through which a person is transformed, an intensely difficult process that ārefinesā worldviews. It is a ātrial by fire,ā if you will.
In the video description for Crucible of Causality, we learn that Dottore is about to be judged by his own soul.
"Where countless broken souls converge, he shall hear the verdict of his own soul."
Both definitions of the crucible are important to what I think is going on with Dottore.
3 + 4 = 7 : The Oldest Spiritual Equation
Last patch, many folks pointed out Dottoreās connection to the numbers 3,4, and 7 (prompted, I believe, by YouTuber CatWithBlueHat)
A quick overview of the associations:
Dottore shows up in patches 3, 4, and 7 of the Nod-Krai update cycle
We encounter Dottore in Inazuma (3), Sumeru (4), and Nod-Krai (7)
Dottore is opposed by the Harbingers who currently occupy the 3rd, 4th, and 7th seats (Columbina, Arlecchino, Sandrone)
The three songs that play when heās on screen are Threefold Falsehood, Four Unspeakables, and Prajnaparamitopadesa to Quell Seven Calamities
On their own, each of these could be pure coincidence, but the song names give credence to all the rest. Localization issues aside, Genshin has always been extremely precise with their references.
3 + 4 = 7 is an enormously significant equation in many traditions Genshin borrows from. In game, we can look at the 3 Moon Sisters, the 4 Shades, and the 7 Archons/elements as examples of how fundamental these numbers are to Teyvat.
But these numbers are also central to alchemy. In alchemical theory and practice, 3 refers to the tria prima (three primes or three principles). These are:
A combustible element: sulfur
A fluid element: mercury
A permanent element: salt
Renaissance alchemist Paracelsus believed that, by understanding the tria prima, one could cure all diseases. He illustrated his theories by burning a piece of wood, explaining fire stood in for the work of sulfur, smoke as mercury, and the ash left behind as salt. More importantly, he extended this to human identity with salt (ash) representing the body, mercury (smoke) representing the spirit, and sulfur (fire) representing the soul.
The 4, meanwhile, represents the Aristotelian four elements (fire, water, earth, air). Reconciling or overlapping the 3 and the 4 lead to diagrams like these, which sought to capture a coherent understanding of the world.
The universe, folks
Genshin makes explicit reference to these ideas in the Fontaine World Quests and again in Act VII of the Nod-Krai quest. In the Explications on the Chymical Marriage readable, we learn:
Three pertains to appearance, while four pertains to the intrinsic. Seven, obtained through their overlap, constitute the number of paths for vertical transcendence.
Worth mentioning: The Chymical Wedding of Christian Rosenkreutz is an actual book circa 1459 thatās divided into 7 journeys and deals with death, purification, trials, resurrection, and ascension.
Iāll put a pin in 347 for now, but Iāll come back to it in a bit.
The Seven Stages of Alchemical Transmutation
Transmutation is alchemyās central goal with the most popular example being turning lead into gold. The Magnum Opus (Great Work) aimed to discover the Philosopherās Stone, a substance capable of turning base metal into gold. They also believed it could be used to make the Elixir of Immortality.
In esoteric views of alchemy, however, the transmutation of materials into gold was a metaphor for spiritual transformation. The process of transmutation was instead meant to symbolize a transformation from an imperfect, limited, ignorant state of being to an evolved one that understands the hidden truth of this world.
Basically everything Moon Goddess Dottore the Heretic of the False moon talks about.
In Carl Jungās analytical psychology, which takes these alchemical principles and uses them for psychotherapy, the aim is to achieve the actualization of the self. To do so, a person has to move beyond their own ego, which Jung refers to as the āorganā of consciousness.
Dottore is peak ego, the āIā as opposed to the āweā of the other Segments, the most rational, radical, selfish part of himself. Pantaloneās explicit reference to Dottoreās ego in their absolutely shameless flirting conversation in the Sanctuary of Surasthana feels quite pointed.
So what does the actual alchemical/enlightenment process look like? Over the years, alchemists proposed processes with varying numbers of steps, some with 12, some with 14, some withā¦ you guessed it, 7. Given how central 7 is in Teyvat and the 6.6 AQ, thatās what Iām going with.
Iāve broken down each step into the Material (chemical) process and the Psychological (spiritual) process and then tried to detail what I think is going on.
1. Calcination
Material: Heating a material over flame until it turns to ash
Psychological: The initial step of breaking down oneās ego, which involves severing oneās worldly attachments
Almost like, you know, saying a final goodbye to the only human being who has ever mattered to you.
2. Dissolution (or Sublimation)
Material: Dissolving these ashes into water
Psychological: Submerging oneself into the unconscious with the goal of resurfacing the parts of the self that had been hidden or suppressed by the conscious mind
Falling into a molten pit full of the parts of himself that he quite literally killed three years ago.
3. Separation
Material: Isolating and filtering the products of dissolution
Psychological: Determining which parts of this surfaced material should be separated and which should be re-integrated
This is the moment when Dottore āshall hear the verdict of his own soul.ā
4. Conjunction
Material: Forming a new substance out of the separated elements that are being preserved
Psychological: Merging the conscious and unconscious elements so that the true self can emerge from the union of dualities
Here is where Dottore merges with his fractured self and begins to unify the soul.
5. Fermentation (or Putrefaction)
Material: Inducing the chemical breakdown of the substance by introducing bacteria or other micro-organisms
Psychological: Inducing suffering through challenge and testing to promote resilience and spiritual awakening
Heās straight up in a burning tree having to grapple with all the versions of himself. No one hates Dottore more than Dottore. This is definitely suffering.
But imagine this going on for 5 days
6. Distillation
Material: Further refining or purifying the solution by condensing it
Psychological: Purifying the spirit by elevating oneās awareness into the collective self so that it is no longer controlled by the ego
Dottore, the ego, is no longer above the other Segments and the original. He no longer has the power to destroy them.
7. Coagulation
Material: Transformation to a solid state. This is the Philosopherās Stone and the Elixir of Immortality
Psychological: The union of matter and spirit to create an aligned whole that is capable of perceiving the world on all levels of consciousness. This is Nirvana.
This goes beyond the temporary enlightenment of borrowing the Moon Goddessesā powers. This is the true transcendence of 7āthe overlap of the appearance and the intrinsic.
Thereās an argument to be made that Zandik already achieved alchemical enlightenment because his death perfected the Elixir of Immortality, which Pantalone has been consuming for the last three centuries. But that was only the material side. He has yet to undergo the psychological transmutation. Dottore couldnāt because, as a Segment, his worldview is fixed.
Ironically, Dottore believed he had attained enlightenment when he infiltrated Irminsul. Instead, just like the Heretic of the False Moon had to die to infiltrate Irminsul and be re-unified with the other half of that soul to become the Datattore, Dottore can only reach enlightenment after his (ego) death.
The description of his boss domain, Binding Field of Universal Nirvana
The Pyro Gnosis
Now back to 3-4-7. In addition to those numbers being all over Dottore and found in Chymical Marriage quest item, 347 also appears in Mavuikaās animated short as the last number she passes when she drives through time.
Initially, I read this as her āvertical ascensionā to godhood. But, while she took up the position of Pyro Archon when she revived in the present, she was already an Archon before that.
What if, instead, the 347 in her trailer is still about Dottore. What if itās there as a nod to the role the Pyro Gnosis plays in his project of transcending his own limitations.
Nahida and the Traveler use the Pyro Gnosis to burn Irminsulā¦ the same Gnosis that powered the Sacred Flame capable of raising people from the dead. In fact, that was the last thing we saw the Pyro Gnosis do at the end of the Natlan arc.
In the denouement of 6.6, Nahida tells us that Irminsul burned for 7 days and 7 nights. I refuse to believe that this is a coincidence. The game itself tells us that 7 is the number of vertical transcendence, ascension, enlightenment, etc.
To me, this seven-day convergence in the Pyro-Gnosis-heated crucible sounds a lot like the psychological alchemical process above, a process of breaking down and confronting the constitutive elements of the self, discarding what does not serve, and then unifying whatās left into an enlightened whole that is no longer controlled by the ego. The Pyro Gnosisās fire is meant to purify not destroy.
Redemption Via Analytical Psychology
The benefit of this transformation is that it effectively ācleansesā Zandik in the same way Scaramoucheās rebirth as Wanderer ācleansesā him for playability. It establishes a distance between the transmuted Zandik and the Dottore who murdered Niwa on screen.
We have also seen this process occur with Durin, who was brought back and redeemed using the Art of Khemia. In the Magnum Opus, Alchemy is described through four stages attributed to chemical color changes: Nigredo (black), Albedo (white), Citrinatas (yellow), and Rubedo (red-purple). Unsurprisingly, Durinās story quest is titled Draco Rubedo.
So, Albedo and Rubedo are already accounted for with their playable counterparts. (I would also offer that Citrinatas could be Rhinedottir i.e. Gold who has quite literally merged with Naberius, but thatās a whole other essay).
Perhaps, then, Dottore will be our next alchemically enlightened character, this one corresponding to the burnt matter of the initial calcination/burning process. In Jungās analytical psychology, the nigredo phase stands in for āthe dark night of the soul, when an individual confronts the shadow within.ā
So basically...
Where countless broken souls converge, he shall hear the verdict of his own soul.
(Incidentally, this could also explain why they made the odd aesthetic choice to represent Dattatore as a void shadow with a mouth).
I am desperately going to cling to this hope.
Already, Iāve seen a shift in how people are viewing Zandik/Dottore. Opinions toward him have become a lot more sympathetic, and I think this is a very canny, deliberate move on Hoyoās part, paving the way for an eventual resurrection of a more balanced, enlightened whole.
(But also what the fuck is up with the lizard? I really need to know.)
School has been super fucking rough and itās only gonna get worse ā¤ļø fml. But yeah heres a silly little sketch of columbina. Cause Iāve been grinding genshin for the past few weeks. Actually inspired by one of the outfits I wore
Fuck I need to draw more genshin characters in modern outfits. God knows how much pain their official outfits are to draw
