hannah @ynjnlvr - Tumblr Blog

lalo is like the blunt i pass around

Jax and Ragatha Clearly have history, and I love that. I want them to be messy and fucked up, I don’t want them to get back together, and I don’t want them to look at each other fondly.

I want them to look at each other like they’re the best and worst thing to ever happen to them in their damn hell.

I want them fucked up, I want them both masking, I want them both pushing away each other in different ways.

I want Ragatha to die a second time as a fake person that Jax hated, I want her to die the first time as the girl Jax loved, a genuine, hurt, traumatized but happy person.

I want her to lose someone she loved but not by her own fault but his fault. Then to feel like it was her fault, causing her to believe it’s her mother all over again. She wasn’t perfect enough, she couldn’t help him, she couldn’t be good for him, she couldn’t make him happy. I want her to kill who she once was, because she believes that the reason why she lost Jax was because, she wasn’t good enough to keep him, to help him, to love him. Her true self just wasn’t enough to keep her as his. So to avoid this with the other members, she decides to mask as a person.

I want Jax as an asshole, unable to face his mistakes and either drown in them or try and find an escape from them, through causing pain to others. Even to the person he loves most, to selfishly keep himself and her safe. But to fail at that too. I want him to lose all that he cared for in the circus, to realize the worst thing that he had ever done was push away the person he loved most. Which causes them to abstract, because by pushing them away, it caused them to become a fake person, which in turn pushed them to the edge of insanity. So at That point, he didn’t just lose her as a person, he lost her completely. Because he was drowning in his guilt, fear and selfishness. And decided to deal with it in the worst way possible.

I want him to lose the person he loved the most twice.

I want them broken.

I’ll come out with something sweet next time 😭

dictearchive

chaosbarnes

Being a girl is: wanting to go to bed early but deciding to just get on tumblr/wattpad/Ao3 for a little bit and then end up finding a fic series that you really like and read until well past your usual bedtime then keeping on because it’s already past your bedtime. Then being mad when you wake up in the morning because you overslept your timer.