Kapag nakamove-on ka na– kapag pakiramdam mo kaya mo na nang wala siya, kapag nakakangiti ka na ulit, kapag hindi na masakit kapag naririnig mo yung pangalan nya, kapag nakabangon ka na ulit, kapag kaya mo na, at kapag handa ka nang magmahal ulit, hindi lang dun natatapos ‘yun.
When you finally feel na you have moved on, a part of you still holds you back from moving forward. Oo, okay ka na in such a way na hindi na masakit; na mararamdaman mong handa na ulit yung puso mo na sumubok ulit, pero there is something na magpapaalala pa rin sayo nung nakaraan. Hindi nung nakaraan niyo nung tao, kundi yung pinagdaanan mo para makarating ka sa status na “moved on.” Sabi nila hindi ka daw sa tao naghohold on kundi sa 'memories’ mo with that person. Pero para sakin, you don’t hold neither onto the person and to the memories you have made together, you hold on to the pain. Yung sakit, yung sugat, yung marka. Yung sakit ng mga gabi na pinagpuyatan mo dahil iniisip mo kung okay lang ba sya o kung masaya kaya sya, yung sakit ng mga mga mata mo dahil sa mga luhang nasayang mo dahil sa pag-iyak sa maling tao, at yung sakit ng mga araw na ikinulong mo yung sarili mo sa kalungkutan. Yung hirap na pinagdaanan mo makalimutan lang sya and what you used to be.
Makakamove on ka sa tao, makakamove on ka sa memories nyo, pero yung sakit na naramdaman mo? I doubt. Kasi a part of you has been torn apart. A part of you has been already broken, at for me, hindi naghiheal 'yon. It will always be a part of your heart and mind na everytime na maaalala mo yung tao na 'yun, it’s not the happy times you’ll remember, but the pain. The pain that turns you to a better person, the pain that brought you wherever you are now, the pain you endured and defeated which has made you stronger. There will always be a better person who will come to your life, who will replace all the heartaches, who will make you forget what happed from the past, and will make you feel that you are worth it– that you deserve all the goodness in life.
What pain teaches us is endurance, kasi you’ll know in yourself that you are genuinely happy and finally moved on, yet, you still remember those really hard times. But pain teaches us na “kaya ko na.” “I’ve been through worse.” “Wala nalang 'to.” Na kahit maalala mo yung sakit, na kahit maalala mo yung nangyari, in just a few moments you’ll feel sad and vulnerable and fragile, but after a minute or two, wala na. Okay ka na ulit. It’s like reviewing a lesson you have finally read and you’ll try to go back to that page and read it again then you’ll realize, “Ay, alam ko na pala ito.”
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