the name's jane

ya like jazz?

[17000-bees]

sometimes i set alarms in the middle of the night so i can experience the sheer goodness of falling back asleep

[17000-bees]

i posted this at 4 am

[17000-bees]

sometimes i set alarms in the middle of the night so i can experience the sheer goodness of falling back asleep

[gothcostco]

not to be too millennial but

no money

[celanon]

no house

[clst]

just avocado

[17000-bees]

and student debt

[tyleroakley]

[thebootydiaries]

me: I really!!!! want!!! people!!!! to help!!!! me with!!!! my problems!!!!!!!

brain: you have to tell people about your problems first.

me: disgusting. atrocious. completely repugnant. I have never heard anything so vile. get out of my sight immediately.

[17000-bees]

[babyanimalgifs]

[17000-bees]

Every John green book: my name is Kirk assgun and I m not cool or popular and I'm bullied everyday because I fuck comic books and I watch this really cool show called the Big Bang theory. But it's okay because I at least have 2 other bros and 1 convenient negro friend. You see that girl over there? That's kaydence Tigerlilly Dookieson. SHe is the love of my life. She is misunderstood and like really cool indie bands like Coldplay and she's been smoking since she was 7. She's not like other girls. If only she would realize that the missing key to her life was me, a greasy white boy

[willow]

When will this bitch (my skin) realize that we’re both on the same team

[17000-bees]

robber: hey give me all ur money

me: how about i instead buy that gun off of u for all my money

robber: ok

robber:oh shit now ur gonna rob all ur money back

me:no im not a dick who robs people

roober: that hurt way more than any bullet would

[juelzsantanabandana]

Who on that sad shit

[imsoshive]

[trexjose]

[lizoceraptor]

Just like grammar used to make

[iwilleatyourenglish]

my leopard gecko hasn’t eaten for over a week so i took him to the vet. vet said he’s extremely healthy and the reason he’s not eating is likely due to him entering breeding season early

i paid $97 to learn that my gecko won’t eat because he’s too fucking horny do anything

[iwilleatyourenglish]

can you imagine someone handing you a burger and you being like “i can’t eat this i’m too fucking horny"

[17000-bees]

Me: *tries to go to bed at a reasonable time*

Me: ah yes

Me: 4am

Me: perfect

[probablybard]

The bard refuses to stop playing his lute while youre talking and you smack it out of his hand

revealing a smaller lute in his hands. You don’t know how he did it. You fucking hate bards.

[17000-bees]

me: what are taxes and how do I pay them?

school system: worry not

school system: mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell

[17000-bees]

So, will your army of 17,000 bees be taking sides in the skeleton war?

of course we did. we filled the skeletons with bees and flew to victory against the fuckboys