I second what the last anon said. your writing feels so real and i love the way it really immerses you in the story. it makes you feel everything that they’re feeling. you’re so talented! i’m truly obsessed with your fics
Thank you so much! I really appreciate that. I'm so glad you enjoy them. It really means a lot that you take the time to read them
Hii I just wanted to say I love how you write, like you write plots that feel way more real than what you usually find in reader insert fic. The drama and comfort and the giddy feeling thing are often pushed to an extreme, but no, you find such a good balance that it feels like something that could happen irl, even if not really. That way of writing makes me feel way more than the exaggerated events and emotions and all and I think that's neat!!
Idk if I explained myself correctly but I just noticed it and wanted to point it out cause I really do think it's something that's rare to find in these kinds of fics.
You explained yourself perfectly. Thank you so much for sending this. This is such a sweet thing to say. I try so hard to keep things realistic and to hopefully invoke those type of feelings. I love to write I guess would be considered like "slice of life" stories. I love writing about the mundane or about things that may seem low stake because to me, I think there is so much more to be explored, so many more things to feel, so much more fun to have in every day life.
Thank you so much for sending this and thank you so much for taking the time to read my work. I really appreciate it
Summary: The week at school following your break up with Regina and somehow things feel more confusing than before.
Pairings: Regina George x Female/Gender Neutral Reader
Warnings: Feelings, alcohol, and some toxic relationship dynamics
Notes: Hiiiiii 😇 hope yall have been doing well and are having a good holiday season. Here I am with another chapter. A chunky filler chapter to move the plot along and to also service as another reminder that Regina (and maybe "you" lol) can still be a very much a toxic and mean person at times, even tho she is actively trying to be better. There was no way girly would be magically nice in a few months lol (plus we all kinda like her a little mean let's be real lol). But I promise this is a less sad chapter compared to the other one. As always, thank you for your support and your patience. Spoilers but no spoilers, next chapter will be the trip to Aspen. It'll be a chapter that will require a bunch of research on my end so it might take a while to put out, but I love writing long chapters (if you've noticed lol) so hopefully the wait will and has been worth it for the chapters. But yeah, I love you all. Comments, likes, and all that jazz are always appreciated.
Also, extra note: anyone see Reneé on the Bite Me Tour or have tickets to go? I saw her when she came to Chicago and it was so fun!
Anyway, I hope you enjoy!
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You gave Regina space. Well okay, you gave her space after you had an absolute meltdown while she drove back to school. You were blowing up her phone with a ridiculous amount of texts; everything you wish she'd let you say during your argument was flying out of your fingertips at breakneck speed. You could feel yourself mentally spiraling.
You texted her anything you could think of. How sorry you were. To please call you. That you needed to at least know she made it back to school okay. That you love her. Just completely crossing that line of desperation.
After about an hour she finally called you. You answered, feeling a bit hopeful. The feeling was immediately squashed when you heard how angry Regina was on the other end. She told you to stop blowing up her phone. Calling you 'fucking psychotic' and telling you that you needed to leave her alone.
Her tone was so icy and venomous, you felt like you were getting glimpses of the mean girl persona from high school she so desperately wanted to leave behind. Regina seemed to welcome her back like an old friend tonight, slipping into mean girl Regina George with ease and using it to protect herself from you. Or maybe protect you from her.
You let her talk her shit for a few minutes, barely paying any attention because you knew she was probably hurling the most hurtful insults at you. Your just clenched your jaw, tears streaming down your face until you found a good moment to butt it.
"So that's it then? You just don't love me anymore now?" You ask desperately, the stupid question repeating obnoxiously in your brain since she left the house earlier this evening.
She was quiet for the first time since the phone call started and you heard her let out a shaky exhale.
"Just stop." She says, trying to sound firm. But you don't miss the way her voice cracks slightly.
"Just stop." You repeat incredulous. "Excuse me that I can't just fucking turn it off like you can, apparently."
There's another moment of silence on the other end. You're about to speak up. To apologize again, but she finally says something.
"Are we done here?" She asks, her tone clipped and icy. Any trace of emotion she had earlier was now gone and you felt like the slim chance you had of recovering this relationship just slipped through your fingers.
"I guess we are."
You could barely get the last word out before she hung up the phone.
----
You return to school late Monday evening. You were supposed to get back in the morning, but to be honest, you were avoiding going back for as long as you could.
It was that weird ten day period between Thanksgiving break and Christmas break where everyone has to return to campus to finish up big assignments and take finals.
Everyone was teetering that delicate line of tense, stressed, and on edge, but also not giving a single fuck about anything at all.
Regina was intentionally avoiding you. Which you figured would happen, but that still didn't stop you from trying to talk to her. She knew your schedule and what your days looked like, so avoiding you wasn't really a difficult task.
When you weren't in classes or trying to find Regina, you were holed up in your dorm room. Too depressed to even exist.
Sometimes you could hear Regina in her room next door. Playing her music loud when she did her make up and got dressed for the day. Talking on the phone loudly to her teammates.
Crying.
You would knock on her door when you knew she was in there in hopes of talking to her. After about the fourth day of doing this, you stopped. You would knock, pressing your head against the door and call out to her softly. You would give her a few moments before retreating back to your room. Every time, without fail, you would always hear her sobbing when you came back to your room.
You couldn't take the thought of her crying because of you, so you decided to leave her alone and stop knocking.
But she still cried.
Ren and their new girlfriend Ramona took pity on you though. Ramona was a goth girl on the university volleyball team. They met at a party Regina had dragged you both to sometime in October.
The two of them would let you lay in bed with them and watch a movie or two every night, just to get you away from your shared wall with Regina. Sometimes Ren would braid your hair or you would let Ramona paint your nails.
Half of the time it made you feel pathetic for even having to do that with them. The other half you were so grateful they cared enough about you to take care of you in that way, you weren't even sure how you could ever thank them.
"Soooo word on campus is Kappa Pi is throwing a holiday party tonight." Ramona says after a long stretch of silence. She was sitting between Ren's legs in their bed while Ren played their Switch.
You were sitting in a bean bag chair on the floor next to their bed, studying for an exam you had coming up on Monday. You felt kinda lame to be studying on a Friday afternoon after classes, but it's not like there was much else to do.
You didn't acknowledge the party thing at first. You didn't even really think she was talking to you until her black manicured nails scratched gently at the top of your head to get your attention.
"Hmm?" You hum, tilting your head back to look at the two of them. You couldn't help the small smile at the sight of them cuddled up together. They were cute.
"Holiday party at Kappa Pi's. We should go." She pinched your cheeks between her fingers like you were a child and squeezed, causing you to purse your lips involuntarily and let out a huff.
"I'm not in a partying mood." You say when you finally break free from her hold.
"Boooooo." Ren says out of nowhere and you reach back and smack their leg. Ramona follows suit by smack their other leg.
"I'm almost certain Regina will be going." Ramona sings and your ears perk up a bit.
"Tempting." You say, trying to sound unbothered. The truth is, the thought of potentially seeing Regina for the first time since she ended your relationship made you simultaneously want to jump out of your seat to start getting dressed and also made you want to vomit a little. "I guess I can go for a little bit." You relent after a few moments, pressing your thumb firmly against the closed cap of your yellow highlighter.
"That's the spirit, Scrooge!" Ren teases you and you whip your head around to shoot them a dirty look.
"You two are ridiculous, jeez." Ramona shakes her head and pushes herself to sit up. "I'm going back to my dorm to get ready, then. I'll come back to walk with you guys?" She says, scooting off the bed and stepping around you.
"I'll get ready with you." Ren pops up off their bed, climbing over you as well, but stumbling a bit. "We'll pick you up on the way over." They tell you as they rifle through their closet.
"Okay." You agree quietly, watching Ren choose an outfit for tonight and shove it into a bag. They both give you a quick goodbye before exiting the dorm and leaving you by yourself.
You already regret agreeing to the party now that you were left alone to think about how much really you didn't want to go.
It was still quite early, the party most likely not starting until closer to 9pm. You know Ren and Ramona left for her dorm for some alone time. You can't fault them for it. You stood up from the bean bag chair with a groan and found yourself in your bed, blankets up to your ears. You set an alarm for 8:30pm, hoping you'd fall asleep for an hour or two to kill some time.
You thankfully did knock out, but you woke up just before your alarm went off because Regina was blasting her music loudly next door. You figure she is most likely beginning the process of getting herself ready for tonight also.
You check your phone, squinting at the 8:28pm on your screen. Now you were just plain annoyed because you couldn't even go back to sleep.
Earlier this week, knowing she was simply just existing in the space next to you would have you bursting into tears.
But now you were angry. And being woken up from your first good sleep all week was not helping her case.
Your alarm blaring pulled you from your seething thoughts. You shut the alarm off and without giving it a second thought, you pounded your palm hard against the wall three times.
She lowered her music for a moment, like she wasn't sure if she actually heard something or not, before turning it back up again. You huffed, feeling more petty than anything now. You slapped the wall even harder three more times.
"Shut up!" You shout, banging the wall one final time for good measure.
Her music stops abruptly and you hear movement in her room. You're holding your breath, a little scared about what she was going to do.
There was a brief silence before she was banging on your wall repeatedly, throwing in a loud 'fuck you' that dragged on the rest of the duration of her hitting the wall.
When she finally stops, you bang your wall hard again one more time. You hear her let out a frustrated grunt on the other end and you smirk, feeling a bit satisfied with yourself.
Your satisfaction was short lived. Within two minutes she had her Bluetooth speaker pressed directly against your wall, making it vibrate slightly as her music played.
You took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. Her music wasn't the issue right now. It wasn't even actually bothering you that much.
She was.
Her inconsideration. Her rudeness. How easy she made it seem like it was to just fucking forget about you.
You stared at your wall longingly, thinking maybe if you stared long enough she would just float through it or something.
She lowered her music after ten minutes, most likely realizing you were no longer acknowledging her ridiculous behavior. You could hear the music getting fainter as she brought her speaker back towards the other end of the room.
You sighed, leaning over and knocking on the wall softly. You don't know why you did. Maybe just to let her know you were still there.
She didn't knock back, only turned up the volume of her music again.
You sighed and frowned, climbing out of bed finally and rummaging through your closet for an outfit to wear.
You picked out a pair of black pants, some boots, and a vintage sweater you stole from your dad's closet that had a bunch of geometric patterns in colors that could vaguely be associated with Christmas. It felt more like a fall/winter sweater than a holiday one, but it'll serve its purpose tonight.
You grab your phone, keys, and wallet. Shoving everything into your pockets and locking the door behind you. You texted Ren to let them know they didn't have to come back to the dorm for you and that you were gonna head to the dining hall near the frat house to grab something to snack on. Ren said they'd meet you there shortly.
You made the short trek over. It was cold out, but not totally unbearable. Your sweater was thick and kept you warm enough. You refuse to bring a winter coat because who the fuck wants to deal with a coat at a party?
Your nose was red and your teeth were chattering a bit by the time you entered the dining hall. Hot air blasted you in the face as soon as you opened the door and you got overheated so fast it about pissed you off.
You rolled up your sleeves to cool off and beelined for the 24 hour convenient store, Ren and Ramona already in there browsing around.
"Hey hey." You greet, scooching behind them to get to the drinks.
They were dressed a bit more festive than you, wearing bright reds and greens. They each had light up necklaces and reindeer antlers on their heads. You chuckled and shook your head at them, smiling to yourself.
You grab an energy drink and a bag of chips, shoving a pack of gum into your palm at the last second, too. You were desperate to avoid having chip breath for the rest of the night.
"OoooOoo you kissing someone tonight?" Ren teases when they see the gum, wiggling their eyebrows.
"Not at all." You scrunch up your face at them.
"Lameeee." They give you a thumbs down and you roll your eyes.
"Oh, wait! I forgot we got you a necklace." Ramona interjects, digging through her purse and pulling out a snowflake necklace that you assume lights up.
You stick your arms out of the way and lean forward so she can put it on you. She reaches behind your neck, struggling for a second to find the button. You look up at Ramona and let out an awkward chuckle. Your eyes briefly lock with Regina's as she walks behind Romona and past the convenience store with a few members of her soccer team.
It felt like slow motion. Her gaze fiery and unforgiving as her group walks past you. Her eyes subtly bouncing between you, Ramona, and the items in your hand.
She looked angry, annoyed, maybe even jealous. Her top lip twitching into a slight scowl as she walked past in a dark velvet dress that hugged her hips in the most beautiful way. It knocks the air out of your lungs, honestly.
You let your head follow her. You don't care if it's pathetic or if she makes fun of you. You haven't seen her since the break up and you just wanted to fucking looking at her.
Once she was past you, she didn't bother looking back. It felt like a blow to the heart. Now you feel both emotionally foolish and physically foolish because you have this stupid necklace blinking in your fucking face.
---
You felt like you were suffocating. Too many bodies everywhere, the collar of your sweater just a touch too high, this necklace getting caught on everyone and everything.
Ren and Ramona disappeared to dance with Ramona's volleyball friends. You downed two shots at the shitty makeshift bar before grabbing a bright green 'Grinch Punch'. It was both sickeningly sweet and so fucking potent that you stopped walking for a second to catch your breath after taking that first sip.
You wandered aimlessly for a while, searching for someplace to plant yourself until you felt like you were here an acceptable amount of time to finally leave. You saw a group of people smoking joints outside so you decided to make your way out there to partake, a preroll already in your pocket to contribute.
You smelled Regina before you saw her. Her perfume filling your nostrils, making your heart race. You didn't even get a chance to turn your head to look for her before you were grabbed by the back of your sweater and pushed into an empty corner near the stairs. The blaring music quieted slightly, though the floor and walls continued to thump around you.
"What the-" you reach back to pry the hand off you, but it's already disappeared. You turn around and see Regina. Angry, and tiptoeing that delicate line between tipsy and drunk.
"Shut the fuck up? Really?!" She says, her neck and chest flushed light pink.
Not that you were looking in that direction or anything.
"Huh?" You look at her confused and that only pisses her off more.
"Huh?!" She mocks you, making an irritated face. "You! Banging on the wall like you're off your fucking psych meds and telling me to shut the fuck up!"
"Oh my god. So fucking dramatic. I didn't even tell you to shut the fuck up." You pause, finishing off your drink with a grimace. "I told you to shut up only."
She clenches her jaw, her nostrils flaring before her hand flies out to knock your empty cup out of your hand.
"Damnit." She mumbles when she realizes the cup was empty. You huff and bend down to pick it up.
"You will not make a litterer out of me." You say, a small laugh creeping through as you try to keep a straight face.
A small smile appears on her lips for half a second before schools her expression. She crosses her arms over her chest, almost forcing herself to be stubborn.
"You look cute tonight." She says, looking you up and down. Her compliment catches you off guard a bit, but you roll with it.
"This dress is gorgeous on you." You flirt cautiously and although she keeps her facial expression fairly unreadable, you can see something mischievous in her eyes.
"You think so? I just bought it." She says, smoothing the material down over her hips in a way that can't help but draw your attention. She knows it too, because you don't miss the way she smirks at you. "Who gave you this?" She asks knowingly, hooking her index finger under the front of your glowing snowflake necklace and tugging you forward just slightly.
"You saw who gave it to me." You say softly, your eyes bouncing between her lips, eyes, and cleavage in no particular order.
"I wanna to wear it." She whispers, pouting just the right amount. It makes your heart drop into your stomach and you can't fucking help but shift your foot so you can squeeze your thighs together. She leans in closer to you, her hand flattening on your sternum, rubbing up your chest and collarbone to cup your neck. Her fingers twirl the hairs at the nape of your neck. "Please?"
"It's mine." You say weakly. She's massaging the back of your neck with her fingertips, her manicured nails gently scraping against base of your head and giving you goosebumps. Your eyes flutter shut briefly as you let out a breathy exhale.
"You like that?" She whispers with a knowing smirk. You can tell she's satisfied with herself.
The worst part is that you're eating it the fuck up. The alcohol was kicking in and you missed her so fucking much.
You nod, your hand coming up to her waist and sliding over the smooth velvet of the dress. Her breath catches when your hand slides to her back and pulls her closer to you.
You lean in, nudging your nose against her jaw. Your grip tightens on her hip, bunching up the material of her dress just enough to pull it up an inch. She tilts her head slightly to the side for you, pulling your head toward her. As you press soft kisses to her neck, she lets out small moans and whimpers that were just loud enough for only you to hear.
You let your teeth graze her pulse point, nipping and sucking for only the briefest moment before she tugged the hairs at the base of your neck as if she was controlling you like some puppet.
But whatever, so what if it worked.
She tugged you back just far enough for her to lean in and press a soft kiss to your lips. You didn't kiss back at first, too stunned to do anything but squeeze the fabric of her dress even tighter.
"Kiss me back." She whispers against your lips before kissing you more urgently. You kiss her back, letting yourself get lost in the moment before pulling away. "What's wrong?" She asks confused, her voice soft. Her hand slides from the back of your neck to cup your cheek, keeping you from turning away.
"I missed you." You tell her, your tone a little sharp because you felt like it should be obvious.
Her eyes soften for the briefest moment before her face twists into an annoyed pout.
"Don't do this right now." She almost whines, her fingertip playing with the shell of your ear.
"When else would I do it? You won't fucking talk to me."
"Ugh," She huffs, her hand dropping from your face to rest on your shoulder. "You're being such a buzzkill right now. I need another drink."
You could feel that you were losing her attention. Regina wasn't interested in having an emotional conversation right now. She was too drunk and trying too hard to pretend that your break up was bothering her less than it actually was. You know that her confronting you and being flirty with you was Regina's way of trying to move past this.
Because most of the time, Regina doesn't apologize. Not with words at least.
God, you wanted the emotional conversation though. To hold her accountable for her actions and hear her say she's sorry. You gave up on expecting it tonight. Regina is tipsy and horny, and had sought you out immediately like she would've any other time you've gone to parties together. The last thing you wanted to do right now was make her feel rejected or give her reason to seek out someone else tonight. The thought of that actually made you sick to your stomach.
Fuck an apology right now.
"I'll get you one." You lean in, pressing soft kisses to her jaw, your hand splayed across her lower back protectively. You feel her relax in your hold, her hand finding your hair again as she lets out a soft sigh. "What do you want to drink, baby?"
Her breath hitched, her arms wrapping around your neck. She melted into you completely, burying her face in your neck.
You sway her slightly, thinking she's going to say something, but she never does. You pinch her hip playfully and she squirms, letting out a big sigh.
"I wanna go home." She finally mumbles into your neck and it takes you by surprise.
"Huh?" You ask, pulling away slightly to look at her. She looks up at you with hooded eyes, her lips parted slightly.
She leans in, connecting your lips again in a soft kiss before pulling away to whisper in your ear.
"Come back to my room with me?" She nips your ear before pulling away, looking at you expectantly.
"I thought you wanted another drink?"
"I just want to go, baby, please?" She says with her tone of voice that lets you know she's over it and to get her out of there.
The alcohol was starting to make her needy and clingy, and she was due to start to get a tad bit mean if she doesn't get what she wants soon.
It was always your favorite part of the night when you went partying with her.
This whole night has been fucking with your head though because she's acting like nothing is different, but also that everything was different at the same time too.
Still, you let her lead you out of the party. She dragged you by your wrist, pushing through the crowd of people. Even turning around to deliver the nastiest 'excuse you?' when some girl bumped into you (and apologized for it).
You apologized on behalf of Regina and your hands found her hips, pushing her forward through the remaining cluster of intoxicated people that were in your goddamn way.
Someone catches your sweater just as you're about to head out the door. You stop moving abruptly, your arm wrapping around Regina's waist to pull her against you.
You turn around to see Ramona, one cup in each hand now. You could feel Regina stiffen in your grip, holding your arm possessively. You pressed your fingertips into her ribs softly, signaling her to behave.
"Are you leaving?" Ramona shouts over the music. You can't really hear her, but you can read her lips.
"Yeah! You guys will be okay?" You lean in just a bit so she can hear you better. She leans in a bit more as well nodding her head.
"Definitely! Want me to tell one of her teammates so they don't worry?" Ramona offered and you could feel Regina relax at the gesture.
"Please? That would be great. Get home safe!" You tell her, Regina doesn't even letting you finish the sentence before she's pulling you out the door.
The wind smacks you in the face hard and you pull off your sweater to offer it to her immediately when you see her shiver. She bitches you out for even thinking of doing such a thing, while also letting pull it over her head.
The walk back to the dorm was quick. You had your arms tucked into your undershirt, silently missing the swampiness of the frat house. The two of you walked in silence. It was too cold to do stupid shit like talk.
She opens the door to her room quickly, shoving you immediately. You walk into her warm room, shivering and teeth chattering. You didn't even have time to remove your arms from your shirt before her cold hands were untucking your T-shirt and slipping under to press them against the warm skin of your ribs.
"Jesus, Regina!" You complain, your teeth chattering harder. You remove your arms from where they were tucked into your t-shirt, ready to push her away for the sake of your freezing body, but instead you grip her biceps and clench your jaw.
Her hands were finally warming up and she was moving them over your ribs, stomach, and lower back in an attempt to warm you up now as well.
She pressed soft kisses against your jaw as she caressed you, her warm lips almost sizzling against your freezing face.
"Come on." She murmured quietly against your skin, pushing you back toward the bed while undoing your pants.
"No, you come on." You say back playfully, grabbing her hands and lacing her fingers with yours, moving her hands away from your now unbuttoned pants. She tilts her head to look up at you and you smile, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of her pouty lips. "You're too drunk."
"You're no fun." She whines. "You know it's fine." She tries again, pulling at the collar of your shirt to kiss you.
"Things are different now, no. Go put your snoopy pajamas on." You say teasingly, patting her lower back. She mocks offense and gives you a light shove.
"Leave them out of this." She teases back, pulling you back toward her by the loose waist of your pants. She kisses you roughly once, biting your lower lip as she pulls away. "Cuddle with me at least." She demands gently, pushing your pants down so you were just in your boy-shorts and your undershirt now.
You shake your head, but you still humor her by stepping out of your pants and kicking them aside. She turns away from you, slipping out of her dress and bra. She matches your vibe, staying in just her underwear and grabbing your My Chemical Romance concert tshirt to wear in bed.
You narrow your eyes at her when you notice it. She adjusts the way the t-shirt rests on her hips. She reaches up to pull her hair from inside of the shirt and you notice she just barely peeks back at you.
"I know you know that I've been looking for this shirt for weeks." You step behind her, wrapping your arm around her waist and letting your fingertips slip just beneath the shirt. She sighs, her hand reaching back to hold the back of your head and pull you closer.
"Did I?" She asks innocently, but you can hear the smirk playing on her lips as she pushes her ass against you.
"You helped me look for it that one day, you thief." You tease, pressing soft kisses to her neck.
"I don't know what you're talking about." She leans back into you, grabbing your wrist to push it further up her shirt and hoping you catch onto her hint.
You indulge in her antics; so she thinks. You let your fingertips dance up her ribcage and she sighs. You cup one of her breasts and squeeze firmly one time.
"Honk." You say, stifling a laugh. You go to move your hand, but she whips around to face you so fast that your hand is yanked from her shirt at a speed you didn't know was possible.
You braced yourself as playful smacks landed on your arms and shoulders. She swayed slightly as she swatted at you, clearly still unsteady from being intoxicated.
"You're such an ass." She says between swats, stepping forward to push you toward her bed. You're both laughing, but you know for sure you definitely killed whatever sexy mood she had been in. "Get in bed." She pushes you to your butt on the mattress.
"Ugh, you're putting me against the wall?" You complain, looking up at her with your nose scrunched in disgust because that's not how you two usually sleep. She puts one hand on your shoulder, closing her eyes to gather her bearings before speaking.
"Unless you want to risk the chance of being puked on? Then yes, you're getting the wall." She says, catching a slight attitude.
You know you've now reached the point of the night where being drunk is no longer fun for her.
You peak to the side of her bed to see sober Regina had already set drunk Regina up for success. Her emergency trash can sitting next to her bed with a thick trash bag lining it, bottles of water, a small bottle of mouthwash, and a roll of paper towels. You shake your head and dutifully lay with your back against the wall.
Regina gives you a moment to get comfortable before settling in the space next to you, her back pressed against you. You wrap your arm around her protectively, tracing soft patterns on her stomach with your fingertips.
You thought she fell asleep. She climbed into bed without saying anything. You figured she felt too nauseated to even risk opening her mouth and knocked out as soon as her head hit the pillow. You let yourself start to get sleepy, the action of tracing her stomach lulling you to sleep the way it always did.
She calls out to you after fifteen minutes or so. Her quiet voice cuts through the silence of the room. You were in that in between stage of being asleep and awake, so her voice actually startled you.
"Shit, I'm sorry, baby." She soothes quickly when she realizes she scared you. She flips your hand over to rub your palm softly with her nails, the way she knows you like it. "I just-I was thinking about something."
"Hmm?" You hum, scooting closer to her so you can press your cheek against her shoulder.
"Are you really gonna be alone for Christmas and stuff?"
"Hey, don't worry about that. I'll be okay." You reassure her gently, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. She's silent for a few moments, playing with your fingertips before speaking up again.
"I want you to come on the trip with me and my family." She says, quietly and hesitantly.
"You don't have to do that." You lace your fingers with hers and pull her almost impossibly closer to you.
"I want you there." She scoots back as you pull her, tugging your arm around her tighter.
"We can talk about this again tomorrow when you're sober." You feel her bristle immediately at that and you tighten your grip around her, pressing a string of loud, messy kisses to her shoulder and the crook of her neck. She's laughs, squirming in your grip.
"Okay, okay!" She says between laughs, her hand reaching back to give your hair a firm tug to pull you away. She turns her head so she can press a kiss to your lips. The angle is a bit off and you both end up kissing the corners of each other's mouths, but it was still sweet and intimate.
She turns away abruptly, her palm coming up to press against her forehead.
"Mmmokay. I need to go to sleep before I hurl." She groans and you nod in agreement, pulling the blanket higher over the both of you.
She knocks out fast, like within three minutes. You study her for a few moments before pressing another kiss to her warm cheek. You keep your arm wrapped around her protectively, closing your eyes and falling asleep.
---
You wake up the next afternoon to the sound of Regina dry heaving over the side of the bed and into her trash can. You reach up to pull her hair out of the way and rub her back tiredly with your eyes still half closed. She groans in frustration, obviously wanting to puke, but unable to.
She flops back into the bed dramatically and you can tell by the look on her face that the action made the room spin. You push yourself up on to your elbow and brush the hairs stuck to her sweaty forehead from her face.
"Can I get you anything?" You ask softly. She shakes her head no and turns to snuggle into you, burying her face in your chest. She inhales deeply and sighs, throwing her arm over your waist and balling your shirt in her fist tightly.
"I'm not drunk anymore." She mumbles and it makes you chuckle.
"Yeah, no shit."
"Nooo," she huffs, tugging your shirt to get you to stop laughing. "I mean that I'm not drunk and I want to talk about Christmas again. God."
"Please forgive me, your highness. I'm so sorry I didn't think to read your mind." You tease, feeling her attitude melt away immediately.
"I'll let it slide this time. Peasant." She adds as an afterthought and it makes you laugh. "I want you to come on the trip, okay? Just do it." She pauses for a moment, giving you a chance to sigh and agree to go with her before she hesitantly continues. "It'll be fine since we're going as just friends."
That part fucks you up a little. You feel like you should've known better than to think just because the two of you were snuggled up in bed that it meant you were back together.
How silly of you. How naive of you.
"Are we just friends outside of the trip...?"
"I don't know yet." She admits quietly. "Can we revisit that and see how things are after the trip? Please? I just need to get through this vacation, but I want you there so fucking bad. Please understand." She says it in a way that makes your chest tighten. Frantic and anxious. You would do anything to make her not feel that way.
So you agree.
She smiles wide, cupping your face to pull you closer to her. She plants kisses anywhere she could reach without making herself too dizzy.
"Thank you." She murmurs against your skin before giving you one more loud, sloppy kiss. She pulls away and settles comfortably against your chest against, letting out a contented sigh as she slips her hand beneath your t-shirt. "Since you're going on the trip, you know what this means right?" She looks up at you excitedly, biting her lower lip waiting for you to answer.
"I have no clue." You say confused.
"Shopping for you!" She exclaims, gripping your hip and jostling you obnoxiously.
"You just bought me a bunch of stuff? What are you talking about?"
"You need winter gear to ski or snowboard in, thicker clothes. Oh this is gonna be so fun!" You look at her with wide eyes. "I have to call my mom. She's gonna want to come with us."
"You just bought me so many clothes. I can't use those?" You tried, you really did, but she looked at you like you offended her.
"Absolutely not! Those are not the vibe for an Aspen cabin. God, where would you be without me?"
"Regina, baby. I have a winter coat. I can layer up. I don't need-"
She shuts you up with a deep kiss. Passionate with the right amount of sloppy and messy to make your brain short circuit.
"You are going to be going on a multiple week vacation with my entire immediate and extended family. I'm getting you clothes." She said firmly, not giving you room to argue. "Plus, I like to spoil you."
"It's so much money, baby. Between the clothes and the trip being paid for. It's too much."
"Too much? Baby, listen to me when I tell you this. All of that? A drop in a bucket. Okay?" When you don't look at her or respond fast enough, she removes her hand from inside of your shirt to cup your face and make you look at her. "Okay?" She asks again more firmly, her eyes searching your face.
"Okay, yes, fine." You finally agree. "Thank you." You whispered, leaning in and nudging your nose against hers before she kisses you softly. "Are you up for eating? Want me to run out and grab some food for us? I can get you Ramen from that place you like."
She sinks back into her pillow, squeezing her eyes shut tight again as she lets out a hum of appreciation.
I would love another chapter of call it what you want! or I love you, it’s ruining my life!
I am writing a chapter for each of them. I'm not sure which is coming first. Probably Call It What You Want. I know it's a long time between updates and I'm so sorry😭 I want to publish things faster. I have to many ideas and how I want things to be. Life has been kicking my ass. But I promise I've been writing every time the mood strikes. I really hope to have the next chapter out maybe before December? Def before Christmas. Thanks for reading and for the support. I really do appreciate it
would sell my left kidney for another chapter of any of your reneé related fics
I am almost done with the next chapter of Call It What You Want. I do promise that I will let you keep your kidney once it is out though, my friend. No organ selling on my watch :p
hi! i recently read your regina george x reader fics and i love the plots sm! ur so talented and id love to see an update on one of them xxx hope ur doing well
Thank you so much! I really appreciate this! I've been writing a chapter for both of them at the same time, trying to hopefully get one of them out soon. I'm sorry close to finishing the next chapter of Call It What You Want and I'm so excited to put it out. It's got a little bit of drama, some toxicity, and all that good stuff.
I appreciate comments like this. It helps me put fire under my butt and get motivated to write when life gets too hectic and busy. Thanks so much for reading my working and for sending this message. I really appreciate it
Hi! Thank you so much💞 I'm doing alright! I hope you're doing well also. I updated a fic today that hasn't been updated in a while, tho I'm not sure if there are specific ones you favor so this one may or may not be your cup of tea lol if there is a fic or couple that I write about that you miss specifically, feel free to let me know and I can try to put something out for them. I know I write for all over the place kinda lol. Thank you for sending this message though. The desire to write is always there but sometimes the motivation isn't and seeing these really helps get my butt into gear.
hi! i just wanted to say i love your fics so much! i re-read them all the time <3
Hi!! I'm so so glad you like them enough to reread them. This truly means so much to me. Thank you for telling me this. I'm hoping to get another story published soon so you'll have something new to read 💞
Part 6 was so good!! So glad u updated, after i read it i just couldn’t stop thinking about it, your one of the best writers i know. I hope everything is going well with you and your partner!! I wish u all the best!
Thank you so much those kind words and for taking the time to read my story. I really appreciate that. It means so much to me and I'm so glad you enjoyed this most recent chapter. I think I rewrote it about fifty times lol. I hope all is well with you. Please take care and stay safe💕
Summary: You went to high school with Regina George and she is now your neighbor in your college dorm. She, of course, pretended like she didn't know you at first. Until she got some alcohol in her system.
Pairings: Regina George x gender neutral/fem reader
Warnings: internalized homophobia, feelings, school lol, swearing
Notes: Hi, yes. So this is my first time writing for not only Regina George but also for like reader POV. If it's any good and something people enjoy, I will do more of it. Hopefully you like it, but if you don't that's totally cool too. Thanks for reading either way.
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You had managed to, for the most part, avoid Regina George your three years at North Shore High School. You transferred there your sophomore year, your mom taking full advantage of your dad's Evanston address when you got in trouble once at your public high school in the city. You didn't even actually do anything, but both your parents prioritized your future college education too much to let even a thought of bad behavior ruin it.
You made it through high school pretty unscathed. You laid low, had your small group of friends and kept to yourself.
You witnessed the rise and fall of Regina George in real time. You felt bad for her almost. Yes, she was a major bully, but the one time you overheard her dad yelling at her at a parent teacher conference kinda made some things make sense. She also didn't really target you with her bullshit.
Well, okay, someone wrote in the burn book that you were a carpet muncher and would call you a gay slur here and there, but you've been called worse things. People in that book were certainly called worse things.
Senior year was relatively quiet after Cady dismantled The Plastics.
Regina had taken up soccer, which was actually a really terrifying thought given the neck injury she sustained. She was good though. Good enough to get into University of Illinois, Chicago with a partial soccer scholarship.
But of course, her parents writing a big fat check may help with that.
She didn't even need the scholarship. You don't even know how she got away with getting it.
You also were accepted to UIC. You worked harder than Regina did academically, had some of the best grades in your class, did all the volunteering and extracurriculars, and you still didn't get close to the same amount of money offered in scholarships that Regina got (and didn't need).
You were angry when you found out about her almost full ride, but it was a big school and you were almost certain once you were graduated you wouldn't even be giving Regina George ,or anyone from that high school aside from your best friend, a second thought.
Seeing her at orientation seemed like just a coincidence. Watching her get her keys to the same dorm you were staying in had to be a fluke. Passing by her room, the room that happened to be next to yours, just seemed like you were being punked.
You got yourself settled while waiting on your roommate. You had been speaking with them throughout the summer and know they're coming from Colorado and also know they wouldn't be coming until tomorrow because they texted you. So you were taking advantage of this time to get yourself sorted without having to rush or anything.
You left your door open while you got yourself unpacked, a bunch of people coming by to introduce themselves to you or stop in and talk.
There was a soft knock and you turned your head, expecting to greet another person. Instead stood Regina, leaning against your wall with her arms crossed.
"Hello." You greeted, sounded a little surprised.
"Hi, I just thought since we were going to be neighbors I would introduce myself."
She almost sounded nice? Pleasant?
She also clearly did not recognize you. Yeah you trimmed your hair a bit and dyed it slightly darker, but nothing extremely different.
But this also really helps solidify just how invisible you were to her in high school.
You had two routes. You could bring up the fact that you actually know each other and make it weird, or just introduce yourself.
"Yeah, that makes sense. I'm Y/N."
"Regina. No roommate?" She pointed to the empty side of your room with her head.
"Coming from Colorado. So long drive." You scrunched up your nose at the thought of how long that drive was and she hummed in acknowledgment.
"Are you from around here?"
"Uh, yeah. The city, northside. You?"
"Evanston, so basically from the city."
"Ahh, you're one of those people." You chuckled.
"What is that supposed to mean?" She scrunched her eyebrows up, clearly getting defensive.
"You say you're from the city but you're from the suburbs. That's all I meant." You said softly, watching her face soften when she realized you weren't actually insulting her.
"Most people don't know where Evanston is, so." She defended with a small smile.
"Unfortunately for you, I do." You smiled back at her.
"Are you going to the freshman mixer tonight?"
"I didn't even know there was one." You answered truthfully.
"Mkay, you're gonna come with me then. I'll be back at like nine?"
You pulled your phone out of your pocket and saw it was only like 11am and you quickly realized the long night you've gotten yourself into.
Or that Regina had gotten you into.
"Yeah, that sounds cool."
"Awes. See you later then." She slapped your doorframe once before leaving.
But you didn't miss the way she turned and let her eyes linger on you for just a few seconds longer than what's considered socially acceptable.
---
You spent the rest of the day unpacking and getting settled. You went off campus for lunch then took a walk to get some refreshing frozen lemonade from a popular place near by and drank it while you made your way back to your room.
Regina was still setting her dorm up to her standards. Her door was open and when you peaked in, she was standing on a wobbly chair trying to tape posters to her wall.
Of course she got a single room.
"Need help?" You took a sip of your partially melted peach lemonade and knocked on her doorframe to get her attention.
"Yes, please. That would be great." She said, sound exasperated.
You held out a hand to help her off the chair, but she ignored it. Opting to just brace herself on your shoulder instead. You scratched your head and assessed the situation. You weren't really much taller than her, but your arms were longer so that could work in your favor.
You looked around for somewhere to set your drink before she took it from you to hold. You stepped on to the death trap of a chair and did your best to hang the poster. It was of an artist you had never heard of, but you wouldn't be opposed to new music if she was any good.
You pressed the corners of the poster against the wall and moved out the way. Regina thought for a few seconds before asking you if it was possible to 'pretty please' move the right side up like a quarter of an inch.
You did your best to gauge a quarter of an inch, and your best was thankfully good enough because Regina was satisfied with your efforts pretty fast.
She reached her empty hand up to help you off the chair and you hesitated at first, but took it. She stiffened her arm and gave you a firm platform to put your weight so you had support when hopping down.
Did part of you kind of expect her to let you fall? A little yeah.
"So, what are my chances of getting you to build something for me, too?" She asked sweetly while she handed you back your drink and you took a sip, your dry throat feeling relieved already.
"It depends what it is."
"It's a stupid metal shelf thing." She stepped aside and over the metal parts scattered across her floor.
There was an attempt made, so you at least know she tried before asking.
"Yeah, that looks easy to me. Do you have the instructions?" You handed your drink back to her and kneeled on the floor, rifling through all the pieces.
She set your drink down on the desk and handed you the instructions, sitting down on the floor next to you with her legs crossed.
This shelf wasn't too difficult to build, but it was definitely frustrating. The pieces were in the right spot but they just weren't fitting. Regina complained about how her parents bought her such cheap stuff and didn't even stick around to help her build it. It wasn't like they had a long drive home ahead of them.
She kept apologizing for asking you to help her with stuff or for the shelf being too difficult. She said many times that if you couldn't get it she would just throw the shelf away and not to worry about it if it didn't work out.
You reassured her that it was really okay and you were happy to help. That there was no need to throw out a perfectly good shelf. After a few pinches to your skin, a few scrapes from jagged edges, and a lot of swearing later, you managed to get it built for her.
You didn't expect her to be as involved as she was. She was handing you pieces, going over the directions with you.
You stood up and picked up the shelf, turning it up right so it was standing correctly. She stood up after you, eyeing the shelf with her hands on her hips and nodding.
"That looks perfect. Thank you so much, really."
"You're so good, happy I can help." You picked up your now melted lemonade and took a sip, trying not to be visibly upset over the fact it was no longer frozen.
"Did you get that on campus?"
"No, it's a few minutes away. Really close by. You didn't know that, city girl?" You teased and bit back a smile when you noticed the small blush to her cheeks.
"I was going to offer to buy you a new one, but since you want to be mean I'm taking that offer of the table." She crossed her arms with a small pout and the overwhelming urge to kiss it away scared you.
"No, no. I wouldn't accept anyway. It was like halfway gone. No biggie, honestly." There was an awkward pause between the two of you. "Um, was there anything else you needed help with? Or should I go?"
"You can go now." She said in a tone that felt like a war flashback or something. "I'll swing by your room to pick you up at like 8:45."
"Do you still want me to go?" You asked, because honestly her tone was suggesting otherwise.
"I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't." She defended, her eyebrows furrowed.
"Okay. I'll see you later then."
---
9:15pm and you were sitting at your desk dressed and feeling stupid. Because of course Regina was still going to very much so still be Regina.
There was a knock at your door and you waited a second before answering it.
When you opened the door, you keep your face neutral and unimpressed. Which was actually extremely difficult to do because Regina looked breathtaking.
"Yeah, I know. I'm late. Also, you look hot." She commented and it immediately made you feel self conscious because you couldn't gauge if it was genuine or not.
You thought you looked good, but Regina had been notorious for giving out fake compliments.
"Thanks."
"So you agree? You think you're hot?"
Jeez, talk about a war flashback.
"I do." You answered without missing a beat, but your insecurities were threatening to crawl their way out of your mouth at any second.
Regina pursed her lips and nodded in approval at your response and you slowly let out the breath you had been holding.
"Let's go then."
---
Regina abandoned you the second you guys got to the mixer. Which you half expected. You quickly realized that this was not an official university organized event, though the 9pm start time should've made that clear ages ago.
Another indicator being that they were at a frat house.
Alcohol was flowing, students from all different grade levels were mingling.
You grabbed a cup of whatever alcoholic beverage was concocted and got to mingling.
You talked with a few people that you found out you would be sharing classes with, which was cool.
After about an hour of mingling and drinking, you found your way to the front porch and parked yourself on their porch swing and just did a bunch of people watching.
A cat with a collar came and sat next to you, purring and nuzzling against you. You had no idea if it belonged to the frat house or if it was a stray that just frequented the area. The collar said her name was Roach which really made you thing she belonged to the frat boys, but an off campus address on the back put those fears to rest.
"You found a cat!" Regina slurred, stepping out of the house loudly. Her heeled boots clicked against the floor of the porch and she slammed the door behind her, completely shutting out the thumping noise of the party.
"Yeah! Well, more so she found me. Her name is Roach."
"Ew." She hiccuped and made her way over to you, sitting next to Roach. She angled her body and rested her head on your shoulder. "I have to tell you something." She slurred again, reaching down to let the cat sniff her hand before petting her between the ears.
"Sure, what's up?"
"I remembered you and I pretended like I didn't." She lifted her head up to look at you. "But you're a sneaky bitch too because you did the same thing." She poked your cheek with her index finger until you turned your head away from it.
"You talked to me first. I wasn't going to bother you." You admitted, getting a little frustrated.
"Why? You didn't want to talk to me?" She asked, sounding almost disappointed?
"I didn't think you'd want me to. Then I thought it would be really embarrassing if I said I remembered you and you introduced yourself to me. So I just didn't say anything."
"I didn't want you to tell anyone about who I was in high school." She rested her head against your shoulder again. "I just wanted to start over."
"I'm not going to say anything." You said quietly, a little disappointed that the only reason she tried befriending you was to do damage control.
"I feel bad about it."
"About what?"
"How I treated people." She sniffled, clearing her nose. "I'm sorry about what I wrote about you."
"It is what it is." You shrugged. "It's not like I hid my sexuality or anything."
"You didn't. It made me jealous."
Your ears perked up at this admission. You didn't know whether or not to press on or drop the subject. Whatever amount of alcohol she drank was giving her loose lips and you aren't actually sure how much of this information she actually wants anyone to know.
"You don't want to talk about this sober?" She shook her head against your shoulder.
"Talking about it sober is hard."
"Your parents not accepting or...?"
"My mom? Maybe. Probably. My dad? Absolutely fucking not." She took your drink from your hand and downed the rest of it.
"We don't have to talk about this anymore." You offered while she was downing your drink.
"I'm gonna get another drink." She began to get up, but you pulled her back down"
"Hey, no. Come on. Just stay here with me and Roach." You motioned to the purring cat between you both. "I don't want to lose track of you or the cat. So just stay."
Regina sighed and leaned back against the back of the porch swing. She bit her bottom lip and looked up at you.
"What if we brought the cat inside with us while I got a drink." She offered, giving you a silly little smirk that made your heart somersault.
"I think it's too loud for her in there." Roach let out small meow. "See, she agrees." You scratched under her chin, trying to ignore the way Regina was staring at you right now.
"You were always so nice to us."
"What are you talking about?"
"When I let Gretchen drive my car one time to get us lunch and she got a flat tire in the school lot and you helped her change it so I wouldn't get mad at her. You talked her out of a panic attack because she was so afraid of me."
"Oh, yeah. I forgot about that." You lied.
"Or when Karen was upset after the Christmas show junior year because I was just so cruel to her about her body count. Which wasn't even high. I saw you bringing her that stupid red and green caramel popcorn that the cafeteria was selling for the show."
"I saw her crying, I thought it would cheer her up."
"You also gave me ice when they dropped me on my face and you tried taking care of me."
"I was working backstage and nobody else wanted to help you. Though, I do recall being called a shitty name or two when I did that." You teased.
"I know. I'm sorry. Like really fucking sorry. I was just...projecting."
"I know." You reassured.
You sat in silence for a few minutes, watching people come in and out of the house. Regina adjusted next to you and you put a protective had on Roach and scooted her closer so Regina had more space to move.
You could feel her staring at you. It made you anxious because who knows what she was thinking about.
Regina shifted again and before you can even register her movements, her lips were pressed softly against the sensitive skin of your neck.
"I always thought you were so hot." She mumbled against your skin, her tongue poking out slightly to taste you and her right hand coming up to cup your neck.
You froze for a few seconds, getting lost in the sensation of her lips on your skin, before your rational thoughts kicked in.
"Regina." You said calmly, pulling her hand on your neck. "You're drunk." You laced your fingers with hers and rested your joined hands on your lap.
You watched her stare at your hands, fully expecting her to go off on you or to say something cruel in her drunken state.
Instead, she swiped her thumb over your knuckles and hummed a small approval to herself.
Then a cluster of rowdy frat boys came fumbling out of the house and she let go of your hand faster than anything you had ever witnessed before.
She wiped her hands on her pants and stood up with such ease that it made you question if she was ever even that drunk to begin with.
"I'm gonna get another drink. I'll find you when I'm ready to go."
So I finally uploaded chapter 6 to this story after about a year of not updating it. So I am reblogging this first part in case some folks wanted a refresher or maybe for some folks to read for the first time.
I hope you enjoy. If you've been reading my stuff for a while, thanks for sticking with me. If you're new, welcome! Regardless, I appreciate you taking the time to read
Summary: Regina is in a bad mood because of the events from the previous night. To get her mind off the awkward conversation with her mom, you and Regina do some Black Friday shopping. Unfortunately for Regina, her mom had similar plans
Pairings: Regina George x Fem/Gender Neutral Reader
Notes: Jesus isn't the only one back from the dead this weekend lol. It's been a minute. Like a good minute. Probably over a year now. Time flies when you're stressed lol. I appreciate you for sticking with me, for checking in on me. I love you all so much.
Also, just has a heads up I'm sorry LMAO. This chapter was absolutely necessary and one of its purposes is to serve as a reminder that Regina isn't going to no longer be toxic over night, she has a lot to work through, and that she also has some deep issues that you don't exactly know about yet. It's also a reminder that they're college aged and they're not gonna navigate emotions perfectly all the time. But who doesn't love a little drama, right?
This chapter just about has it all: attitude, cute moments, internalized homophobia, unresolved trauma, and toxicity. Next chapter is gonna be messy. I will do my best to take not a whole year to get it out lol
I love you all. Thank you again for your support and patience. I've been out of the writing game for a minute so I'm a little rusty, but I really hope you enjoy this next chapter
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The two of you went to bed on a good note, but you could feel her being restless all night. At one point she even climbed over you to pace the room for a bit. You reached for her, holding her by the back of her thigh and stroked her skin tiredly as you knowingly asked what was wrong.
She pressed one of her knees on the mattress next to you and played with your hair while she lied to you and told she told you she was okay.
You knew she wasn't, but the way she was playing with your hair, her soft skin under your fingertips and the edible you popped before bed made staying awake feel just about impossible.
You woke up first in the morning, rubbing her back and asking her what she wanted for breakfast. She shrugged so you listed off a few options. She responded by sighing loudly and rubbing her eyes, telling you to lay off all the questions.
You managed to annoy her further when you tried to lighten the mood by asking her if she was going to be grumpy like this all day. You weren't trying to intentionally piss her off, but the teasing was a miscalculation on your end.
You knew things were a bit more serious when you rested a hand on her hip, attempting to pull her closer so you could press kisses to her face and apologize.
Instead she pushed your hands away, kicking the blankets off her legs and climbing over you and out of bed with a huff. Her bare feet slapping against the wooden floor as she went to the bathroom and closed the door behind her.
You kept your distance for a bit after that. You ordered her some coffee on uber eats and cooked her breakfast. She eventually sat at the table, scrolling on her phone in silence for a bit. When you tried to have a normal conversation with her, she gave you the cold shoulder. Basic responses without even looking away from her screen.
You rolled your neck while you cooked French toast. At this point you figured since she was already in a bad mood, there was no better time to bring up her mom.
"Did you talk to your mom?" You asked casually while flipping a French toast, hissing when it fell off your spatula too soon and you had to use your fingertips to fix it.
"Why are you on my fucking ass about this?" She snapped, slamming her phone onto the table, making you jump. "I thought you weren't pressuring me? This certainly fucking feels like pressure. It's obnoxious. You're being so fucking-" she let out a frustrated noise and cut herself off, shaking her head and taking a deep breath through her nose.
"Sorry, I'm sorry." You said quickly. You had gotten used to her outbursts, but this was the first time it ever truly felt directed at you. She didn't scare you, it wasn't anything like that. Her reaction just made you feel...small?
She didn't acknowledge your apology, but her face softened briefly. It almost looked like she wanted to say something to you, maybe even forgive you- possibly even apologize. Instead her face hardened again and her walls went back up. She shifted her body away from you and turned her attention back to her phone.
You took a step back from the conversation after that. You were just trying to prevent her from losing a relationship with her mother, but maybe those were your own issues with your mother creeping in and you were projecting your shit onto Regina.
Whoops.
There was about ten minutes of silence between you to while you finished cooking and plating breakfast. When you finally joined her at the table, you almost desperately offered up the only thing you could think of that would fix her sour mood.
She perked up immediately when you offered to go to the mall and do some Black Friday shopping. You did shut her down when she asked if you guys could shop downtown again. That just wasn't a crowd you felt like dealing again. Especially today.
She pouted for a moment, but when you told her she could choose go to literally any other mall, she was able to get over it quickly.
She decided to drag you to Old Orchard Mall. Which didn't surprise you since it was typically where most rich people shopped anyway.
She insisted on driving and for the sake of avoiding another unnecessary argument, you reluctantly agreed. Between her grouchy mood and all the people on the highway, Regina was cussing people the fuck out. She was riding on people's ass, almost causing a cluster accidents - all while Christmas songs played in the background.
The fucked up part was you found her erratic driving kind of hot.
The way she would swear when someone was driving too slow, how she'd put her hand on your chest so you would sit back when she merged, or slammed the horn when someone cut her off. She was grumpy, assertive, and just the right amount of mean.
And when it's directed at anyone but you, it's attractive as fuck.
On the otherhand, you also felt like you could've kissed the parking lot pavement when you finally arrived.
---
You'd been here for two hours already and you've only been in three stores. You were hot and sweaty, your stomach was growling, and you were getting a headache from all of the perfume smells happening in this Sephora (and you weren't even talking about the products on the shelves in this case).
But Regina looked so happy and so in her element that you didn't even have it in you to be outwardly bitchy. At least not yet.
"Do you like this one, baby?" She asked, dabbing her finger into another eye shadow and adding it to the collection of swatches that were accumulating on your arm.
You learned quickly that one of Regina's love languages was acts of service. That's why, despite how absolutely overstimulated you were, you had her overcoat draped over your arm, her bags from Bath and Body works turning the fingers of your left hand red, and the sleeve of your sweater rolled up with your arm covered in eye shadow swatches.
Her eyes lit up when you took her coat and bags from her so she could look around easily. She even gave you an impressed look when you held out your arm for her to test swatches. She said immediately that she would get it all off as soon as you got back to your place. You nodded in agreement, but truthfully you didn't care if it stayed on or not.
Regina responded more intimately to your actions than you had anticipated her to. You had expected her to be fairly distant with you since you were out in public (and she was grumpy with you majority of the morning). So it took you by surprise when she would publicly be affectionate with you in her own little ways.
She would grab your wrist, rubbing softly at the sensitive with her thumb before dragging one of her fingers down your forearm to reveal the next shimmering shade of eyeshadow. She would grip the back of your sweater while she read the colors on a palette, using you for support because she had to lean in and squint since she refused to wear her glasses in public. She would press against you just barely while she decided between two products, knowing good and well she could afford them both but just didn't have the space for them in her dorm room.
You would trail behind her in each aisle she browsed through. You picked things up to ask questions or make a silly joke, just trying to be playfully annoying to ease your own boredom. She would mostly answer you without looking away from the items in her hand, really only looking up to shoot you a stern look when you would get a little noisy trying to put the items back with shaky hands(hunger clearly starting to get to you).
You were losing steam by the time she got to the perfume aisles. During the rare moments that the aisle was empty, you would stand behind her and smush your cheek on her shoulder to rest comfortably against her while she tested different perfumes. She would hold little slivers of paper sprayed with all the expensive perfumes up to your nose to get your opinion. After any poor reaction, the little shaker of coffee beans always appeared under your nose next.
Occasionally her hand would come up and pat your other cheek or she would rest her head against yours while she read the notes on the perfume bottles. As soon as someone entered the aisle with you, she'd shake you off her shoulder and take a step forward.
It is what it is. Or well, at least that's what you kept telling yourself.
Regina left the store with three make up palettes, hair products she needed to replenish, new skincare stuff for her face, and two new perfumes to add to her already vast collection.
You left with a dry mouth, a grumbling stomach, and a headache that no amount of sniffing dry coffee beans could get ever rid of.
Regina did promise you lunch before making you continue. She said you could pick anywhere and you shyly suggested Cheesecake Factory, asking if that was okay or if it was too expensive. She laughed in your face quite loudly at the thought of the Cheesecake Factory being labeled as expensive.
Once you were shown your table, you quickly pulled off your sweater, feeling like it was practically sticking to you at this point. You tossed it into the booth, set your phone and wallet down on the table and excused yourself to use the restroom.
You returned after a few minutes, confused to see Regina looking stressed out and mildly annoyed while she spoke to animatedly to someone. Her phone was set in front of her so you assumed maybe she had taken a phone call, though that really didn't make much sense to you either.
When she noticed you returning, she made eye contact with you. Her eyes flashed up at you angrily, confusing you even more.
You approached the table and finally realized what the issue was; her mother was sitting across from her. All of her own shopping bags crammed into your booth. Your sweater, phone, and wallet all shoved over to Regina's side now.
"Hello." You say, approaching the table cautiously. Regina grumbled and scooted over for you, while Mrs. George adjusted in her seat to give you a friendly smile and a handshake.
"Hi there! You must be Regina's friend." She put her hand out palm side down and you gripped her fingertips delicately and shook her hand. "June."
"Yes, hi, Y/N." You smiled softly as you introduced yourself. You slid into the booth, getting comfortable next to Regina. "It's so nice to meet you." You said, doing your best to prevent the situation from getting more awkward than it already was.
But let's be real, you could feel the tension and annoyance radiating off of Regina right now.
"I didn't mean to interrupt your little lunch date here." She said, picking up the menu to glance it over. Regina tensed up again at her calling this a lunch date (which it kinda was) and took this as an opportunity to give you your phone, setting it on the table in front of you face up with a slight slam. "I saw my Gina sitting here and I just had to sit down." She laughed, but when her laugh died down she cleared her throat and shifted nervously in her seat.
"I totally understand." You smiled at her again even though her menu is up. You just felt so awkward and didn't know what else to do.
Regina tapped your phone screen, revealing that she had texted you multiple times. You picked your phone up with shaky hands, almost too scared to see what she had even said.
Regina(1:13pm): can you PLEASE stay in the bathroom for now? Please
Regina(1:13pm): my mom was here shopping too ig and stopped to eat and spotted me. I just need enough time to get rid of her. Please
Regina(1:14pm): helloooo?
Regina(1:15pm): of course you left your phone at the fucking table. Nice.
You read the messages and felt the panic begin to set in, typing a response out with nervous fingers.
Me(1:27pm): Baby I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. Do you want me to leave?
Her replies came in quickly, literally within seconds of each other.
Regina(1:28pm): yep
Regina(1:28pm): idk
Regina(1:28pm): fuck
Regina(1:28pm): no please don't.
You read her messages with a small frown. Before you can reply back, June set her menu down dramatically.
"I think I'm going to get their vegan cobb salad." She stated, pulling a glass of water closer to her. "What about you two?"
Regina's leg bounced anxiously under the table. You press your knee against her thigh as an attempt to calm her down, but instead she shifted and moved her legs away from you.
You tried not to let it bother you too much.
"Just the house salad." Regina said, obviously very annoyed.
You frowned again because you know Regina wanted to order four cheese pasta. She had talked about it on your walk over to the restaurant.
You also knew Regina had a history with eating disorders. Your knowledge on it isn't super extensive. What you know is pretty much what you've heard about in high school and what you've observed in your time together.
The way she didn't like you to look at her while she ate, how she preferred you be the first one to start digging in. The way she will rarely ever finished a plate and would typically send you back to your dorm with her leftovers. On the rare occasions she finished her meal, she was immediately in a bad mood afterwards until she could find the time to go to the university rec center. You always offered to go with her, she always declined.
It was very apparent that while Regina does her best to work through her eating disorder and the behaviors associated with it, it's also very clear that eating around her mom, even just being around her mom in general, brought up some issues for her.
Many issues, it seemed.
"Oh gosh. Don't everyone get a salad on my account." June teased. "I have dinner with a friend later so I'm keeping it light. I really only stopped in here because of your father. He loves the peanut butter cheesecake." She looked at you when she reveals this tidbit and you just smile.
"I don't know why you're sitting with us then." Regina grumbled under her breath.
The whole table heard it though. Her mom very clearly heard it.
"I think I'm gonna go with the four cheese pasta today. I'll get back into salads after Christmas." You joked as an attempt to keep the mood light. June thankfully let out one of those rich people laughs, so you assumed a potential crisis was averted.
"Good choice! That's Gina's favorite. I'm surprised you're not ordering it, hun." Her mom asked confused.
"Because I don't fucking want it. Can you drop it?" She said lowly through gritted teeth, her best attempt to keep her attitude at bay.
Her mom essentially just brushed it off and ignored it though.
"So, Y/N, tell me a bit about yourself?"
You looked between the two of them, your way to subtly ask for permission to speak. Regina rolled her eyes and nodded. You took that as a sign to continue. It wasn't a great sign, but a sign nonetheless.
You hated talking about yourself. You were so nervous right now, you were lucky if you remembered your last name. For the briefest moment you even thought about just making shit up. You sat up straight, deciding to keep it simple and not too personal.
"Um, yeah, of course." You cleared your throat. "I'm from the city, I went to North Shore as well. I have an older brother and also a younger brother and sister. So I'm smack dab in the middle." You laughed awkwardly, unsure of what other information would be appropriate to share about yourself.
"Okay, that's enough." Regina interrupted, effectively stop
"Are we all ready to order here?" A bubbly waitress said as she approached your table, not allowing you or Regina's mom to say anything to her about her rude interruption.
Everyone ordered their food. You were the only one to order soda with your meal. Regina and her mom both deciding to stick with water and asking for a lemon to put inside of it.
"So, who are we shopping for today?" June asked, leaning in like it was a secret.
"Me." Regina said with some bite to it and you can't help but sputter out a laugh. It was crass and rude, meant to be taken seriously. There was just something about it that you just found funny.
June made eye contact with you briefly and cracked a smile, seemingly thankful for turning what would've probably been an argument into something less serious.
"Like mother like daughter." June teased and you swear Regina smiled the tiniest bit before shaking her head.
"While I'm being honest, I wouldn't mind getting Y/N some new clothes while we're here." Regina slipped in casually and you look at her with furrowed eyebrows and purses lips because that was news to you.
"Perhaps something with a little more color." Mrs. George whispered to Regina and you looked down at your mostly black ensemble.
Grey t-shirt, black sweatpants, black boots. The sweater you wore that is currently shoved in the corner next to Regina was also black. Oops.
"Exactlyyyy." Regina agreed, the tension slowly melting away from her body.
"I have your father's Amex with me." June sang in a suggestive tone and Regina perked up a bit, both of them both looking at you.
You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, fiddling with your rolled up silverware napkin.
"Well?" Regina asked, and you weren't really sure what to say.
"I don't have money like that. I can't pay you back." You said quietly, cheeks flushed slightly from embarrassment.
"We don't care about the money." They both said in unison.
"Maybe. I'll think about it." You swiped at the condensation on your glass of coke with your thumb.
"We can shop around and see what we find." June said in an attempt to be reassuring.
"It'll be great!" Regina added on, turning slightly to face you and letting her hands drop to her thighs. She rubbed her palms nervously against her jeans while her mom chatted on about what stores to go to.
Eventually June picked up her phone to look for 'inspiration' and once Regina was sure her mom wasn't looking, one of her hands slid over to your thigh. She squeezed reassuringly while she typed and sent out a cluster of texts to you with her free hand.
Regina(1:52pm): please, baby?
Regina(1:52pm): it'll be so fun I promise
Regina(1:52pm): money isn't an issue
Regina(1:53pm): it'll be so hot if you do this for me
You watched your screen as the messages came in, turning your head to look over at her in disbelief at the last text. She didn't look up at you, but she smirked at her phone.
Regina(1:55pm): do this for me and I'll do something for you laterrrrrr
Okay, well that part caught your attention and she knew it. She set her phone down, not even caring about the response you were going to give her because she knew she already had you convinced. The possessive squeeze to your thigh before she returned her hand to the table let you know that as well.
Regina and her mom talked a game plan and you silently observed.
Regina seemed to have such a hot and cold relationship with her mom, but clearly shopping was neutral ground for them.
You could still catch glimpses of nervousness in Regina. The way her leg would bounce when her mom would say literally anything. The way she would pick at her cuticles when there was a silence for too long, trying to figure out a way to keep some sort of conversation going.
Eventually lunch arrived. Regina and her mom barely touched their salads. You were absolutely hungry and wanted to demolish your plate of pasta, but you ordered intentionally to share with Regina later. So you showed some restraint.
The three of you each left with your own take out containers(and cheesecake). Somehow you ended up carrying everyone's food, but you didn't mind.
The first store they dragged you into was Zara. You already knew this experience was going to be uncomfortable, but when June made a beeline for clothes that weren't even close to being your style, you definitely felt your anxiety go up.
You didn't have a chance to sit with that anxiousness long. Regina grabbed her mom by the arm and silently direct her to a different section of the store.
Before going off in her own direction, Regina stepped behind you and flipped your shirt back just enough to silently check your size. You could only assume that the text she sent was to let her mom know of that information as well.
You sat on the first chair you could find, sighing in relief. You were holding everyone's food, Regina's shopping bags, and a few of her mom's bags as well. You rested your head against the wall, watching Regina pick clothes for you off the rack and hook the hangers on her fingers.
Occasionally you would search for her mom, curious to see what she was picking out for you. You would catch her looking at Regina to what she was picking out, then looking back at you to determine if the shirt she was holding was a good color or style for you.
You expected to see more bright and vibrant colors, pinks and purples that just screamed Regina (and June). You were surprised to see that they kept the colors dark and earthy for you, mostly experimenting with different patterns as opposed to colors.
Don't get it twisted, there were definitely some ugly things in both of their hands.
"Y/N," June called to you, beckoning you over with her head. "Come here, hun."
You nodded, adjusting all the bags in your hands and arms, making your way over to her.
One of the bags you were carrying caught a shirt and knocked it to the floor, forcing you to go through the embarrassing process of picking the shirt up while doing your best to not knock over another one.
By the time you made it to her mom, you were flustered from being embarrassed; the heat from the store, your sweater, and all the shit you were carrying were not making things any better.
"I just wanna see..." she held up a shirt with a rather eccentric pattern to your torso, chewing her lower lip as she took time to think about if she liked it or not. "Maybe this one." She put that shirt aside and pulled another from the pile folded over her arm, holding it against your torso next. "Mhmm." She nodded her head, pulling that shirt away from you and adding it back to the pile. "So tell me, Y/N," she began casually, grabbing another shirt from the pile.
"Yeah?" You asked confused, looking down at the next shirt she was holding up against you. You took in its appearance, assuming she was going to ask your opinion.
"Are you the 'not a boy' that Regina is seeing?" She asked you quietly and casually, letting this almost earth shattering question flow out of her mouth as if she was talking about the weather.
You searched around to gauge Regina's proximity. She was a good bit away from you two, looking at some pants.
"No-I mean, I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know." You babbled frantically, too afraid to say the wrong thing.
Or in this case, maybe too afraid to say the right thing?
"It's okay." She said softly, her smile reassuring. She pulled the shirt away and folded it over her arm with the others. "Let's find Regina and head to check out."
"Shouldn't I try everything on first?" You asked, feeling a bit overwhelmed about everything that has happened in the past three minutes.
Still, you followed her toward Regina, too scared to be left behind or abandoned.
You smiled when you saw the back of Regina's head, already eager to be in her presence. June called out to her, waving her over when Regina turned to face you. You could tell immediately when you saw her face that Regina looked like she was gonna be absolutely bitchy toward her mom.
"Mom, I already grabbed that shirt. This one too." She said immediately when she approached the two of you . They spent a moment looking between their hauls, Regina forcing her mom to put back any duplicates. "Let's go pay."
"All of those?" You asked again, your eyebrows raised in sheer shock of the size of their combined haul for you.
"Whatever you don't want or don't like, we'll just return it." She said simply with a shrug. "What size pants are you?" She added quickly, changing the subject and holding up the small stack of pants. It looked to only be two pairs of pants, just in multiple sizes.
"Uh, these." You said after looking through the options, managing to lift your weakened and exhausted arm to point to the correct size with your knuckle.
She hummed and pulled your size from pile, balancing them on your occupied arms briefly so she could return the other sizes to their areas.
You both met up with her mom in line at the register. The wait not too unbearable for Black Friday.
When they began scanning items and the total began racking up, Regina shooed you away because she could see you stressing out over the price.
You waited outside of the store, mostly as an attempt to cool down. They joined you outside a few minutes later with five more bags and you struggled to figure out how you were going to carry all of them.
Though you were honestly hoping Regina was ready to go home.
Instead her mom announced she had canceled her dinner plans, wanting to know if you guys wanted to do a bit more shopping. Regina of course agreed on your behalf. The three of you made the short walk back to parking lot to drop off the bags, then returned back to shop.
You really didn't want to complain because Regina seemed to be having an okay time with her mom. You also didn't want to be annoying after they had just spent so much money on you. But god, your feet hurt, your head hurt, your back hurt.
You could handle shopping at the mall at like a normal level. This was absolutely shopaholic level shopping, it had to be.
----
Regina excused herself to use the restroom while you all shopped the Louis Vuitton store.
Well, they shopped.
You browsed for the briefest moment and swore your eyebrows were going to fly off your face every time you checked the price of something.
June stood next to you as soon as Regina stepped away. She picked up an $1,800 bag, calling it inexpensive before setting it down to look at another one.
"So, Y/N, any plans for winter break and Christmas?" She asked, pointing out two purses that were similar in style just different colors. "Which is cuter?"
"No plans. Both my parents will be out of town, so it'll just be me." You replied, taking in the details of the two bags before deciding which one you thought she would prefer most. "The pink and white one." You nodded when you said it out loud and she agreed immediately.
"Oooh, are you getting a purse, mom?" Regina asked when she returned, her hand grazing your lower back briefly before turning her attention to the purse her mom was looking at.
It felt like torture having Regina so close to you and you couldn't kiss her or touch her. You longed to be in the bubble that the two you created for yourselves.
They hit up one more store before they finally had pity on you. Her mom offered to treat you both to dinner at some steakhouse in Evanston and Regina, once again, agreed on your behalf.
Both of you walked with her mom to her car, helping her reorganize her trunk so everything she bought fit nicely into the space.
Once her mom was out of sight, Regina handed you her car keys and linked her arm around yours, pulling you close to her. She hugged your arm while you walked back to the car in silence.
You unlocked the car, helping Regina put all her bags in the trunk. As soon as you were both in the car, she stopped you from turning on the engine.
You looked at her confused, but instead of saying anything she leaned over the center console and cupped your face while she kissed you deeply and hungrily. Her tongue slipped into your mouth briefly, catching you off guard and making you moan against her lips.
She broke the kiss after a minute or so, leaving you stunned and breathless. Her thumb swiped across your lower lip, wiping away her shimmery lipgloss
"Thanks for today." She said, pulling down her visor to reapply her gloss in the mirror. "I haven't had a nice shopping day with my mom for a while."
"It was nice hanging out with her. She's fun. I'm so glad you thought it was a good day." You smiled, scrunching your nose up at her and she returned the gesture. "Thank you so much for everything today, but you really didn't have to get me all those clo-"
"I don't want to hear it!" She interrupts you by putting her hand up in your face. She grabbed your face, squeezing your cheeks between her fingertips. "Just say thank you and maybe eat me out later to show your appreciation."
Your breath hitched, caught completely off guard by her chosen token of appreciation. She knew it, too. You nodded your head and she smirked, adjusting the way she was holding your face so her thumb could trace your bottom lip.
She tugged on your lower lip and you unclenched your jaw for her, parting your lips slightly. You bit the tip of her thumb playfully, taking the chance to catch her off guard and startle her.
You chuckled and pressed a soft kiss to her thumb before releasing it. She pushed some hair from your face, keeping her fingers threaded in the hair near the back of your head while she stared at you.
"What?" You asked, furrowing your eyebrows and wiping your face.
"What do you mean 'what'? I can't just stare at you?" She gave your hair a firm tug before releasing it and fixing the mess she made. "I just love you, that's all."
You caught her forearm, pressing soft kisses over her palm, wrist, and the back of her hand.
"I love you, too." You planted one more kiss to the center of her palm before blowing a raspberry, the feeling of it making her yank her hand back.
"Ew, I didn't like that how that felt." She said with a shiver, wiping her hand on her thigh. The action making you throw your head back and laugh.
"Noted." You told her with a smile. "Put the directions in and put some music on, baby." You finally turned on the car, waiting for her to get everything situated before pulling off.
June was already seated by the time the two of you arrived. She had already ordered appetizers and a bottle of wine for the table.
The server came and poured the three glasses of wine, but you kindly asked for a glass of water since you planned on driving.
Dinner was going smooth. Almost too smooth. Conversation was flowing. Regina had a slight buzz since she drank your wine instead. The food was great. Everything seemed to be going perfectly.
Until dessert, of course.
You and Regina were sharing a piece of cake, both too full for your own slices. June topped off her wine and leaned forward excitedly.
"So, Gina, I talked to your dad on the ride over here." She said with a big grin and Regina shrugged.
"Okay?" She raised one of her eyebrows, her lips pressed into a slight scowl at the mention of her dad.
"Well, Y/N had mentioned being alone for the winter break," she began and you could feel your cheeks heating up. "So I talked to your father and asked about bringing Y/N with us to our family trip to Aspen." She reached forward to pat your hand. "All expenses paid of course." She attempted to reassure you. "He said that it was a great idea since your sister was bringing a friend, too."
You could feel Regina stiffen up next to you. All of a sudden your half eaten piece of cake became VERY interesting.
"Why would you do that?" She asked harshly, but her voice was extremely calm at the same time. Like the air before a tornado type of calm. She let her fork drop and pushed the plate of cake away from both of you.
You weren't sure who the question was directed at or who she was more upset with right now. Was it her mom for asking her dad if you could go on the trip? At you for letting it slip in a casual conversation that you'd be spending the winter break alone?
In your defense, you didn't know her mom was going to invite you on their trip. You didn't even know Regina was going on a trip. Hell, you didn't even know she had a sister, but that's a conversation for a different time.
"I just thought you'd want Y/N there. I'm sure your cousins are going to be bringing partners and friends to this trip as well. So, Y/N, honey-" she called to you to get your attention and you looked up at her. "Just think about it, okay?"
You smiled and nodded politely, letting your hands drop to your lap.
"I wanna leave. Let's go." Regina said, already standing up and putting on her jacket.
"Regina, don't. We don't have to leave." You said, looking between her and her mother.
"It's okay, Y/N." She winked at you and wrinkled her nose. It was the first time you really realized how much Regina looked like her mom. You could June's feelings were hurt, but she placated Regina and her outburst. Most likely already familiar with Regina and how she operated. "Really, it's okay." She told you, Regina already halfway to the exit by now.
If you didn't have the keys in your pocket, you'd honestly be concerned about her leaving without you.
"I'm really sorry." You said sincerely, standing up to pull out your wallet and give her money for your dinner. Unsure of what else to do. You just felt like you needed to do something to make you feel better for the way Regina was acting.
"Put that away." She said, her tone teasing but serious as she took another long sip of her wine. "Consider the trip. She'll get over it." She waved her hand, accompanied by an unserious eye roll to show some annoyance with her daughter.
You thanked her again before rushing out to the car. You found Regina impatiently propped up against her passenger side door, tapping her foot anxiously.
When she finally caught sight of you, she began to obnoxiously tug at the handle of the door. You unlocked it with an eye roll and she climbed into the passenger seat, slamming the door.
You entered a few moments after her, already knowing by her vibe that talking wasn't an option right now.
You connected your phone so you could play music and the two of you didn't talk for the entire car ride.
Regina still managed to show she was annoyed with you, even while she was ignoring you. Any time you began to hum along to a song that was playing, she would quickly reach forward and change it to the next song. After her third time doing it, you realized that the issue was definitely you and not the songs.
You kept yourself completely silent the rest of the ride home after that.
You silently hoped things would blow over when you got back to your place. That she would get over it or you guys would talk it out and end the night snuggled in bed together.
Instead, when you killed the engine she let out a shaky sigh next to you as she undid her seatbelt.
"Um," she started, her voice thick with unshed tears as she got out of the car. She spoke to you through the open door and you could hear her feet shuffling against the pavement beneath her. "I think I'm gonna go back to the dorms early." She sniffled, wiping her cheek with the sleeve of her jacket before slamming the door shut.
"What?" You ask confused, unsure if you even heard her correctly. "What do you mean early? You're just gonna go back?" You asked in succession. You were trying to remain patient and sympathetic with her, but you were also trying to keep yourself from puking with anxiety.
You scrambled to get out of the car, forgetting to undo your seatbelt at first. You cursed loudly at yourself when the belt kept you locked in place. You rushed quickly to undo it, exiting the car to talk to her face to face.
"I just think this is all too much too fast, you know?" She blinked rapidly to keep her tears from falling, but it only did the opposite. More tears fell down her cheeks and dripped onto her jacket, leaving little droplet stains.
"What are you talking about? Is it because of the Aspen thing?" You push hair from your face. It wasn't even really in your face, you just didn't know what the fuck to do with yourself right now. "Baby, I won't go! I didn't even know that was her intention when she was asking me about my winter break plans. I didn't know!" You were practically pleading with her at this point, but she continued to shake her head.
"That's not it." She crossed her arms and leans against her trunk, wiping her face again with her sleeve. Her cheeks beginning to turn pink from how roughly she was wiping her tears away.
"So what is it then? Because I'm really confused right now." You were standing in front of her now. You wanted to take her hand, but she was purposefully keeping herself closed off to you.
You settled on gripping her open jacket, pressing your thumb hard into one of the button.
"It's everything! You met my mom, she offered to bring you on a vacation with my whole family, she told my dad about you!"
Ah, there it was.
"What? You don't want people knowing we're friends? Are we not friends, too?" You gave her jacket a tug when you asked it, annoyed with her because she wouldn't look at you.
"No, I don't!" She tried brushing your hand off of her, but you tightened your grip. A small scowl was painted on her lips, but her tears continued to betray her by falling. "I don't know what we are anymore!"
You weren't even sure if she said it because she meant it or if she said it just for the sake of being mean. Either way, it sucked.
"Are you being serious?" You asked in disbelief.
"I don't know. Maybe I am." She said calmly now. She almost looked stunned that she even said it herself. She shrugged her shoulders before doubling down on her words, as if she just snapped into character. "I came to college to fuck around and party. Not fucking settle down with someone in first few months." The words came out sharp, you swore you could feel each one of them cutting into you.
She didn't stutter when she said it. Her voice didn't break or quiver, but her tears continued to drip down her cheeks almost poetically.
"Fine." You huffed. You let your hand drop from her jacket, your palm smacking against your thigh. "You wanna go fuck around and be done? Fucking go."
Her expression hardened and she raised her eyebrows at you, pushing herself off her car and taking her keys from you.
"Get your clothes from my trunk and I'll go." She said, opening up the trunk.
"I don't want that shit." Your voice was laced with hurt and anger. You stepped away from her and held your arm out towards the trunk full of bags, challenging her to say something back to you right now.
"What do you mean?" She looked at you absolutely fucking devastated. You could feel your heart shattering as you continued to go off on her.
"Take it all back. Fuck that. I don't fucking want them. You want to tell me you're in love with me and now all of a sudden you want to fuck around with people and not be settled down. I said I wouldn't go on the trip!" You pleaded again, your own tears falling.
"Just take the fucking clothes!" She began pulling the bags from her trunk and throwing them carelessly onto the sidewalk, breaking out into a full blown sob as she did it. "You don't fucking understand!" She yelled between sobs as she threw your things from her trunk. "You don't fucking understand how much being with my family makes me hate myself!" She balled her hands into fists, pressing them against her eyes as she continued to sob.
Her cheeks were raw from wiping her face, her neck was red from being so upset and worked up. You wanted this argument to be over. You didn't even think it would escalate to this in the first place.
"Just come inside-"
"Fuck going inside!" She shouted, her voice cracking slightly.
"Yo! Do I need to fucking call the cops on you two?! Are you good?!" One of your mom's disgruntled neighbors shouts from his window.
"We're fine!" You both shout back in unison, not breaking eye contact with each other.
You hear him mumbling to himself about taking this shit elsewhere before slamming his window shut.
"Regina." You call to her softly, trying to resume this fight in a less confrontational way.
"I'm sorry." She whispered tearfully, tangling her hands in your hair to pull you in for a wet kiss.
You cupped her face and kissed her back deeply, her other hand gripping the back of your sweater tightly while you kissed.
Afterwards, you picked up the bags strewn across the sidewalk and front lawn, a sense of relief washing over you when she took a few from you and helped you bring them inside. You assumed she was raising a white flag. That the argument was over.
So you understandably felt incredibly fucking stupid when still packed up her things and left.
Things haven't been super great the last few months. I also miss my work, I miss you all, and I miss putting things out as frequently as I used to. I miss it so bad. Like I wish I could put into words how badly I want to just sit and write all day so I can finish all the stories I have waiting to be put out and just being able to do something that makes me happy. Life has just been leaving me so emotionally exhausted that it's hard to sit and get more than a few sentences out at a time
I appreciate everyone's patience with me and I always appreciate you and anyone that stops by to remind me that I haven't been forgotten about. It really means a lot to me. More than words can accurately express
