~ The Western State Girls Varsity Competitive Eating team bus has just pulled up to the parking lot of Baxton State Park. The girls squeeze out of the bus and make the ponderous journey to the trail head at the edge of the parking lot. Team Captain Tiffany Brooke, state record holder for Pies, Open Weight division settles down on a convenient log, takes a few moments to catch her breath, and speaks. ~
Whew... Ok girls, that's just the warm-up. Hehe... One minute.... Whew. Ok. ... As I said, that's the warmup. You all know the importance of a pre-meet run to build our appetites for competition. Well, we won't exactly be running, but I thought we'd get some fresh air and nature for our walk. We'll be stepping off shortly after some quick announcements and a little sugar boost.
Ok, first things first, if you hadn't already heard the rumors, Doc Brennan has cleared me to compete this weekend, which is good since I'll be carrying you bitches, hehe. After my little scare at the Epsilon Pi pool party I'm doing fine and the ticker's pumping strong. Silver lining is that I'm signing an endorsement deal with Medtronic next week, so expect a kegger at my place when that check comes. Doc did tell me to take it easy on the walk so I may be in the back for but if it.
Second, make sure your're wearing the new away Whataburger jerseys and bibs this weekend. They're a little undersized it seems so you may have to start with your day two sizes and hope for the best on actual day two, hehe. . Ok we're about ready to step off. Oh, before I forget, some night before the meet tricks. Take it easy at dinner tonight. Keep it under bodyweight times five for calories. Yes, Amber, I know it's hard, but you'll make up for it tomorrow sweetie. I've seen what you can do to a table of hot dogs. Another performance like last week's and you'll be in the 380 weight division by the end of the semester. One extra snack you can have is a great appetite boost. Take two cups of canola oil, and cup of sugar, mix it up, and down it. Perfect mix to get your body ready to chow down tomorrow. Just like Rocky drinking raw eggs, hehe.
Alright, now we're ready. One, two, three! ... ... Ughmph! ... Uhhmmmph! ... Whew... One minute... Just a sec... Ughmmmmph!...
Katie, be a sweetie and come hp give me a boost. Once I'm up I'll be good, I just need a little boost getting up from down here. Here, just grab my belly and lift it up. No, grab here. Come on, you can pul a little more. Straight up. Lift with your legs. Ok .. Ughmmph!! UGHFFFMH!...
...Maybe I need to get you girls on the weight room once in a while. Brock, come over and help me up, please? Thank you. Yes, just grab here and here, and hold up my belly. Wow! I feel 100lbs lighter! One, two, threeemmmphh! Yea! ... Whew... One sec.... One sec... Ok. Thank you Brock, you're the best bib manager this team could ask for. And so nice of you to give up your starting position on the football team to do it too! Whew... One sec... thanks again. ...
Brock, you can pass out the donuts now. We need our sugar boost before the walk. Only three per girl, we need to be hungry tomorrow. Oh! None for Amy! Amy, you're our last girl in the lightweight division, and your bumping against the top of the limit! We need you to weigh in under 220 tomorrow to have representation in all the weight categories. In fact, that sports bra is looking tighter than normal, give me 20 jumping jacks! Yes, right now! Go! One, two, three..., four, five... six ... *Huff*... seven ... whew, slow down... eight... slow down .. I can't count that fast ... eleven... *Huff*... Ok, ok you're good... Whew... Give me a second, girls. Let me sit down for a second. . ... Whew.
Ok, I think it's time you girls got on the walk. I'm going to sit this one out, Doc told me I should save my energy for the meet. It's two loops around the parking lot, almost 300 yards. Brock set up a water and donuts aid station on the other side of the lot. None for you Amy, you greedy little porker, hehe. I'll meet you all back on campus at the locker room. Go! ...
... Hey, Brock, could I get another boost up? Wow, that really does make me feel 100lbs lighter! What? It feels like more to you? ...oh, well I suppose... sorry... Uhm, but I should probably do some appetite increasing exercises before the meet tomorrow. I've got a full day, pies in the morning and hot dogs in the evening. Maybe we could go to the weight room and you could show me workouts?
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