[your-helpful-guide-and-assistant]

Genie: Your Partner On Your Way To Success!

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...

Ah, I don't think that's supposed to be there. I'm not the best at this computer thing so I'll let Matt deal with it.

That aside, I think we should introduce ourselves. I'll start while he's checking this "issue" out.

Hello. My name's Colin Sloan. Financial advisor. Used to do things more face-to-face, but I figured this program makes things more efficient. Glad to be of service.

Ah no, that is not. No need to worry, it shouldn't cause any harm. Let's simply leave it for the time being.

Hello, I am Matthew Godrick. And I do... ah... I do the more technical stuff. I.. I... wait-

...

Sorry I appear to be experiencing some technical difficulties.

Huh. Did something happen? Do you need anything, kid? You look a little shocked.

I... ah, I'm fine. Just some technical difficulties.

Oh, okay. You can always just take a break. I'll deal with this.

Yes that'd likely be the best course of action. Thank you.

No problem. I'll be checking on the clients now.

...

Get me out of here, assholes!

-David, if you are feeling unsatisfied with our service, you could easily just message us. No need for profanity, please.-

Fuck you!

-SHUT THE HELL UP LARSON-

No, you shut the fuck up! You're both monsters on all fucking levels! Get me out of here!

-Oh, oh no. You're getting it all wrong. We're not... monsters. But I can be one, if it weren't for formalities--

-I'll show you a monster YOU LITTLE SHI--

WHAT THE FUCK

-Godrick, the claws aren't necessary.-

-Well, our 'client' better watch his fucking mouth then.-

I'M NOT SHUTTING THE HELL UP! Why the fuck are you doing this?

-Doing what? Business? Listen here, client. We do what we do to help poor souls like you...

because we could. Nothing else. Got that?-

Ha! That's bullshit! I know you two have a fucking agenda! Got an axe to grind with someone?

-...-

-I think you should watch your mouth, Larson. Do yourself a favour and shut it.-

I'm not shutting up until you get me the fuck out of here.

-Why the hell should we let YOU out of here?-

Because... because I don't deserve this! I need to go home, people miss me out there! You probably wouldn't get it.

-Oh, but you do. David, you got what you bargained for. As for... the people, well... they already know what's happened to you. It was all over the news. They wouldn't question a thing. I made sure they get the details correctly.-

-...-

Huh? What's going on with him-

-Oh. Uh. You know what? David, you're dismissed. Please. Leave your complaints somewhere else, and we can talk about this later. I believe my coworker here is going through a 'bug' again.-

...whatever. Fuck you.

-Thank you for the feedback. We will get back to you in a moment.-

...

//Hello! OOC Admins here. Enjoy the chaos. I (Rhi) am rlly proud of this masterpiece.

[Hi as well! This blogs being run by myself @doliminuz and @rhithefella ! With Matt being played yours truly (Doli) and Colin by Rhi, and I think we're just passing David back and forth like a basket ball.

It's a Cabin Tales blog using our AU/HC versions of the collector plus Mr Got Snatched himself as their unwilling guest star!]

//And here's some OOC deets abt each of our characters + some important things to know.

Colin Sloan (Played by Rhi)

- Somewhere between 26-34 (doesn't remember)

- He/Any

- Lived during the early 1900s so he's got a lot catching up to do with technology.

- Ancestor of Rhi's version of Kevin from 2.4/Roulette.

Matthew Godrick (Played by Doli)

- 28 years and married (or was before You Know)

- He/him

- Can't really remember anything from pre-death, aside from his death itself, and is VERY short tempered with his victims. Will drop that professionalism completely.

- Cousins in law with Doli's version of Koby from Cry Wolf/1.8

David Larson

- 25 years old

- He/Him

- His dad is a scumbag so he moved away as soon as he could. Originally stayed with a friend named Lance until the events of his story (1.5/Sell Your Soul).

-Brother of Sam from 1.6/Storm Warning, Romeo from The Night We Met, one of the waitresses from 2.1/Graveyard Diner, and Samuel from 2.4/Roulette.

Miscellaneous

- Please do not ask anything inappropriate ofc.

- Again, these are just HCs so don't take any of these as canon.

[your-helpful-guide-and-assistant]

Umm... I don't know. I'll try to think of something.

"Okay..."

[your-helpful-guide-and-assistant]

Here. *Gives you fish plushie* Take this. This should help you calm down a bit. If you're feeling like you want to hit something, just squeeze this.

"... thanks. ...sorry.

I'm still confused. What should I do?"

[your-helpful-guide-and-assistant]

Is there anything around you that can help you ground yourself?

"I-I... don't really know. It's really dark here...

..what should I do?"

[your-helpful-guide-and-assistant]

Hey, hey. Just breathe. It's gonna be okay.

"I... I... THIS IS BULLSHIT! I- I CAN'T BE DEAD-

... o-okay."

[your-helpful-guide-and-assistant]

Oh no-

"What the fuck... what the fuck..."

[your-helpful-guide-and-assistant]

You can do it KevKev! 🤹‍♀️ (there's no cheerleader emoji so have this)

"I... ok. Well... I think I don't need to breathe.. and I think I'm a bit more pale... "

"Please I can't have this happen to me, no no no..."

[your-helpful-guide-and-assistant]

Just in case... any other weird things? Veins having an unusual color? Not having the need to breathe?

"haven't checked yet, and I'm scared to do that."

[your-helpful-guide-and-assistant]

Like... (gestures) Everything.

Can you feel your own pulse?

"Now that you mention it... no. No I don't. But that's fine... right?

J-jay would tell me that sometimes it just doesn't feel like anything. Sometimes you don't really feel a pulse...

I... hope he's okay. I think I said something shitty to him back there in whatever place that was.

But if what you're saying is true...

Shit."

[your-helpful-guide-and-assistant]

... Considering the whole situation, we shouldn't ignore the possibility that you might be dead.

"...what makes you say that?"

[your-helpful-guide-and-assistant]

So it's an internal kind of pain, interesting.

... Just in case, do you feel any different? Numbness? Lingering pain?

"Yeah, I guess? I-it's like my head's on fire, to be honest."

[your-helpful-guide-and-assistant]

Ok, so you were panicking and arguing with someone, and something happened that made your head hurt.

... Did you get attacked or something?

"Maybe? It's not the 'punched really hard in the face' pain though so I don't know."

[your-helpful-guide-and-assistant]

Progress is progress, and that's good!

Let's try to focus on the argument now.

"I- uh- is this a therapy session now?"

"Uh... hm.. I think I was just panicking and may have said some things."

[your-helpful-guide-and-assistant]

(Puts on glasses to look smarter)

Let's think about everything. So you were probably arguing with someone, right? Was it because of a game? Try to think hard about any details you remember. Your clothes, the place, the people, anything.

"Eh... I think it was. I'm just wearing what I wore there. I think. I don't remember too much about it. Sorry."

[your-helpful-guide-and-assistant]

Poor baby...

(Headpats for the he)

"Okay..?"

[your-helpful-guide-and-assistant]

What were you doing that could be the cause of this?

My bet is that it's Rod's fault and this is collateral damage-

"The thing is... I don't fucking remember. I think I was yelling at someone though. Maybe it was him?"

"...my head hurts so bad."

[your-helpful-guide-and-assistant]

//Keeping the Kevin Event going even after April 1 because why not