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đ SHE WILL BE LOVED, yoursdream
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make it right [ mark lee ]
mark is crying and fucking his apology into you after a stupid fight.
â content 1.4k words, 18+ [ MDNI! ], explicit sexual content, bottom!male reader, established relationship, make-up sex, crying during sex, unprotected sex (p in a), creampie, mark is like really really pathetic, slight aftercare.
"just say you still want me, please, just say it," mark gasped, the words cracking in the middle as he pushed deep, burying himself inside you to the hilt.
the argument from earlier still hummed in the air, a live wire tangled in the sheets.
your back was against the mattress, markâs weight a heavy, familiar anchor. you were still furious, your jaw tight, arms braced against his chest â not really pushing him away, but not pulling him close either. you could easily feel every ragged breath he took, see the wet gleam on his cheeks even in the dim bedroom light.
mark was a mess. a beautiful, fucking hot mess.
his black hair stuck to his sweaty forehead, damp strands falling into those dark pretty brown eyes that were usually so sharp, so assured.
right now they were wide, pleading, and swimming with tears that kept spilling over.
mark moved again, a slow, grinding roll of his hips that made you see stars despite your anger, the thick, full sensation of him stretching you perfectly, maddeningly.
"you feelâoh my god, you always feel like this," he choked out, his voice raw. "like heaven. i'm so stupid. i'm so, so stupid, baby."
you didn't answer, you simply let out a sharp breath as he pulled back and thrust in again, harder this time, the force of it jolting you up the bed.
the slap of skin, the wet, tight sound of him moving inside you â god, it was obscenely loud. your own traitorous body arched, a low moan pulled from your throat. it felt too good. unfairly good. markâs desperate need was a tangible thing, radiating from his overheated skin, trembling in the hands that cradled your face.
"i can't... i can't lose this," mark sobbed, bending down to press his forehead to yours. his tears dripped onto your face, mingling with the sweat. "i can't lose you. please."
markâs lips naturally found yours for a salty, clumsy kiss, that was more shared breath than anything. you kissed him back because it was instinct, because his mouth was soft and desperate and you knew its shape better than your own. mark moaned into it, a pathetic, broken sound that vibrated against your lips.
your boyfriend kissed you like he was dying of thirst, licking into your mouth, his tongue sweeping over yours before he broke away to trail wet, open-mouthed kisses down your jaw, your throat.
"i'm sorry," he whispered against your pulse point, his hips never stopping their relentless, deep rhythm. each thrust was a punctuation to his plea. "i'm so sorry. for what i said. for being a prideful idiot. i didn't mean any of it. you know i didn't, right? tell me you know."
you grabbed a fistful of markâs hair, not gentle, and pulled his head back to look at him.
"you meant it when you said it," you bit out, but your voice wavered as he angled his hips just right, brushing that sweet spot inside you that made your toes curl.
mark winced, but not from the pain in his scalp.
"i was so fucking scared, baby. i'm scared. âcause you could have anyone, and i..." mark drove into you again, his body shuddering. "i just need you so fucking much. and it makes me crazy."
his confession was a live thing between you. mark began to move faster, losing the controlled, deep rolls for something more frantic, more needy. the bedframe knocked a steady rhythm against the wall.
his arms hooked under your knees, pushing your legs back, opening you up wider, letting him sink even deeper. the new angle made you cry out, your own resolve crumbling under the sheer physical onslaught.
"fuckâyes. like that," you heard yourself gasp, the anger morphing into a sharp, clawing want.
and mark seized on it like a lifeline.
"like that? you like that, baby? tell me. tell me what you like. iâll do anything," he was babbling, his words slurring together with each thrust. "you're so perfect. so tight for me. taking me so good, fuck, even when you hate me."
"i don'tâ i donât hate you," you grunted, the admission torn from you.
your hands slid from your boyfriend hair down to his shoulders, feeling the powerful muscles bunch and release with every movement. he was everywhere â his scent, his sweat, the sound of his ragged sobs and pretty moans filling the room.
"you don't?" he cried, his rhythm faltering for a second with sheer emotion. "say it again. please."
you didn't. instead, you pulled him down into another kiss, sucking his lower lip, biting it gently.
mark whimpered, a high, needy sound that went straight to your cock, trapped and leaking between your stomachs. the friction was delicious, exhilarating.
his hands were everywhere, too â gripping on your hips so hard you'd certainly bruise later, skimming up your sides, thumbing over your nipples until you arched with a sharp cry. mark worshiped your body with a frantic, tearful intensity, as if trying to memorize you with his hands, his mouth, his cock.
"i'm gonna make it right, baby," he promised, his voice thick. "i'm gonna make you feel so good you forget why you were ever mad at me."
mark was close. you could feel it in the tightening of his balls against you, in the way his thrusts became shorter, more jerky, less coordinated. the pathetic, beautiful sounds he made were constant now; whimpers, sobs, your name choked out like a desperate prayer.
"look at me," you demanded, your own control fraying.
the coil in your gut was winding impossibly tight, fed by his desperation and the flawless, brutal pace of his hips.
mark obeyed instantly, his dark eyes locking onto yours. they were wrecked, red-rimmed, overflowing.
"i love you," he rasped, each word a thrust. "i love you so fucking much. i'm so sorry. let's not fight ever again. please. i can't stand it."
it was the raw, unfiltered misery in his voice, the complete vulnerability, that finally shattered the last of your anger. you saw it â the real fear, the love that was so big it terrified him.
your hands came up to cradle his pretty face, thumbs swiping at the endless tears.
"fuckâmark," you moaned, and his name was both a surrender and an absolution.
that was all it took.
markâs orgasm hit him like a seizure. a broken, gasping cry tore from his throat as he slammed into you one last time, hilting himself, and held there.
you felt the hot, pulsing rush of his release flooding deep inside you, wave after wave, intense and seemingly endless. mark shook violently through it, his face crumpling, tears falling in earnest as he sobbed through the peak, his hips making tiny, involuntary jerks as he emptied himself completely inside you.
the sensation of mark coming, so deep and so much, the visual of him utterly falling apart above you, tipped you over the edge right after.
your own climax ripped through you with a silent, breathless intensity, your back bowing off the bed as you spilled between your stomachs, the pleasure so sharp it was almost painful, whitespotting your vision.
mark collapsed on top of you, a dead weight, but you welcomed it. his face was buried in the crook of your neck, his wet lashes tickling your skin. he was still crying, soft, hiccupping sobs now, his body occasionally trembling. you could feel his heart hammering against your chest, a frantic echo of your own.
he was still inside you, softening, but he made no move to pull out, just clung to you.
for long minutes, the only sounds in the room were markâs slowing tears, the ragged pull of his breath, and the slick, intimate sound of your joined bodies.
slowly, you ran your hands up and down his damp back, over the knobs of his spine. mark nuzzled deeper into your neck, placing a soft, wet kiss there.
"i'm sorry," he whispered again, voice hoarse and shot.
"i know," you said quietly, softly pressing your lips to his temple. "it's okay."
mark finally lifted his head, his face puffy, eyes swollen, but his gaze was clear, focused solely on you. he looked ruined â beautifully so â and utterly yours.
mark shifted gently, slipping out of you, and you both winced at the sensitivity, the sudden emptiness. he didn't go far, he simply rolled to your side and immediately gathered you against him, your back to his chest, his arms locking around you like iron bands, one hand splayed possessively over your stomach.
He kissed your shoulder, then the nape of your neck.
"really okay?" he murmured, his voice small.
you intertwined your fingers with his over your stomach, feeling the sticky proof of his desperation cooling on your skin. the fight was long gone, drained away, leaving only the deep, weary truth of how much you needed each other. you squeezed his hand.
"just... don't be an idiot again."
đŚ đšđśđ¸đ˛đ đŽđťđą đżđ˛đŻđšđźđ´đ đŽđżđ˛ đŽđšđđŽđđ đŽđ˝đ˝đżđ˛đ°đśđŽđđ˛đą <đŻ !!
đđžđđđžđđđžđ˝ đťđ đşđđđđđđđđ (â˘Ë â˘ă.á
âimagineâ
pairing: idol bf! haechan x reader
synopsis: you miss your boyfriendâŚa lot!
words: 2.8k
warnings: smut!, pillow-humping, masturbation (f), thigh riding, descriptions of sex, dirty talk, dirty mind, hyuckâs smirk, use of pet names: sweetheart, baby, pretty girl, use of the word slut, very very y/n coded
an: who else feeling absolutely crzy about hyuck lately? đđ
â
youâve been a dirty girl â a perverted, naughty, horny girl.
but itâs not your fault!
blame it on hormones or ovulation or maybe the fact that your boyfriend has a career that takes him away on nights when you need him most. which is why you had to resort to this â humping your pillow at 2:00 a.m., frustratingly trying to get yourself off, imagining your boyfriend was here instead.
the clock on your nightstand glows that mocking red number as you straddle the thick body pillow wedged between your thighs, the dim lamp from across the room casting shadows over the rumpled sheets.
youâre stripped down to nothing, skin flushed and slick with a light sheen of sweat, breasts heaving with every desperate grind. the ache between your legs is unbearable.
fuck, you need him.
need his hands pinning you down, his cock stretching you wide, pounding into you until you scream.
you pressed your hips down harder, the soft fabric of the pillow rubbing against your swollen clit in a way thatâs almost, but not quite, enough. a low whine escapes your lips as you rock forward, pussy parting around the seams, soaking the cotton with your arousal.
itâs pathetic, really.
how youâre reduced to this â rutting against an inanimate object like some animal in heat. but god, the friction sends sparks up your spine, making your nipples tighten into hard peaks.
you imagine haechanâs mouth on them, sucking roughly, teeth grazing just enough to sting.
âfuck, haechan,â you murmur into the empty room, your voice breathy and broken.
in your mind, heâs here â sprawled on the bed beneath you, his dark eyes locked on yours with that smug grin he wears when he knows exactly how wrecked you are. you picture his hands gripping your ass, guiding your movements as you ride him. your thighs clench around the pillow, mimicking the way youâd squeeze your hips and you grind faster, harder chasing that edge.
the pressure builds, hot and insistent, but it teases you, slipping away every time you think youâre close.
one hand snakes down to spread your folds, fingers circling your clit in tight, desperate loops while you thrust against the makeshift lover. your other hand pinches a nipple, twisting it until the pain mixes with pleasure, drawing a gasp from your throat.
youâve tried every single action in his book of your body. and stillâŚstillâŚyour orgasm doesnât come.
itâs frustrating.
fantasies flood your brain â haechan flipping you onto all fours, slamming into you from behind, his balls slapping against your skin with every brutal thrust.
youâd beg for it, wouldnât you?
âharder, hyuck, fuck me like you own me.â and he would. grunting your name, his fingers digging bruises into your hips as he fills you up, cum spilling deep inside until it drips down your thighs.
the clock tick to 2:09 now, the urge to release getting more frustrating with every minute that passes.
you hump the pillow harder and harder, the wet sounds of your pussy sliding against it filling the silence. your clit throbs under your fingertips, swollen and sensitive as you dip two fingers inside yourself, curling them to hit that spot that makes your toes curl â it barely does the job. itâs not his cock, thick and veined, pulsing as it claims you, but itâs something. you pump your fingers in rhythm with your hips, imagining his tongue lapping at your entrance instead, devouring you like heâs starved.
sweat beads on your forehead, trickling down your temple as you desperately chase release. your breaths come in short pants, hips snapping erratically now, whining as you start to lose your patience.
in your head, haechanâs whispering filthy things, âthatâs it, ride my dick, you needy slut,â his voice low and sultry in your ear.
the fantasy pushes you closer, your walls fluttering around your fingers, arousal coating your hand and the pillow beneath. but still, frustration claws at you â itâs not enough. not without his weight on top of you, his scent surrounding you, his cum marking you as his.
you were so lost in your self-pleasure, hips grinding down relentlessly on the soaked pillow, that you didnât even realize the bedroom door creaking open.
it was supposed to be a surprise â haechan had caught an earlier flight than his schedule allowed, slipping through the front door quietly in the dead of night, excited to see you. but now, as he pushes open the door to your shared bedroom, all he can see is your naked back arched in the dim light, your ass cheeks flexing and bouncing with each desperate rut against the poor, abused, pillow. your moans fill the air, soft, whiny, needy, and his cock twitches instantly in his shorts, hardening as he takes in the sight.
he pauses in the doorway, leaning against the frame, immediately turned on by the raw desperation of it all. he canât help but cock his head to the side, watching you for a bit longer, eyes darkening with lust, a smirk curling his lips as he drinks in every roll of your hips, every whimper that escapes your mouth.
finally, he speaks, voice low and teasing, âhaving fun there, sweetheart?â
you freeze at the sound of his voice, heart slamming in your chest as you whip your head around, eyes wide with shock.
there he is â your boyfriend. standing in the doorway, looking every bit like all the wet dreams youâve had for the past month.
âhyuck! what are you doing here?â you gasp, scrambling off the pillow in a frantic scramble, your thighs sticking together from the mess youâve made. heat floods you cheeks, burning hot with embarrassment as you snatch at the sheets in an attempt to cover yourself, but it tangles around your legs instead.
he chuckles softly, that devilishly, signature smirk widening as he kicks the door shut behind him and saunters into the room, âplease, donât stop on my account,â he says, his gaze raking over your flushed, naked body without a shred of shame, lingering on your peaked nipples.
âiâuhâiâ,â youâre a stammering mess now, words tumbling out incoherently as you try to look anywhere but at him â the wall, the ceiling, the damn clock thatâs now at 2:18, mortification twisting in your gut even as fresh heat pools between your legs merely because of his presence.
haechan finds your flustered state utterly cute, and he canât help but chuckle again, the sound warm, affectionate, teasing, as he closes the distance between you in a few easy strides. his fingers find your chin gently, tilting your face up so youâre forced to meet his eyes, dark, amused and already hungry.
âitâs okay, baby,â he murmurs, thumb brushing over your lower lip, âi get itâŚitâs frustrating being away from each other, isnât it?â
you nod your head slowly, eyes wide and glassy, still reeling from the surprise and the way his touch sends sparks straight to your core. your belly immediately tightening at his closeness, his familiar scent making your mouth water.
âtell me, my pretty girl,â he continues, voice dropping to that husky timbre that always makes you weak, âhow can i help?â
âwant my cock?â he adds after a beat, his smirk widening as his free hand trailed down to palm himself through his shorts, the outline of his thickening length visible even in the low light.
you clear your throat, swallowing hard, the words sticking in your throat before you finally whisper, ânoâŚ,â barely audible, shy but laced with need, â-not yet.â
he looks at you with an amused glint in his eye, eyebrow arching as he releases your chin but doesnât step back, âthen what does my baby want?â
your cheeks flame hotter but the ache between your legs wins outs over the embarrassment, ây-your thighs,â you confess, the words rushing out in a breathy plea and it turns him on even more, his cock jumping visibly in his loose shorts, a low groan escaping his throat at the filthy admission.
without another word, haechan takes a seat on the edge of your bed, the mattress dipping under his weight. he pats his lap invitingly, then reaches for you, hands gripping your waist to help you over him, his shorts riding up as he spreads his legs slightly, exposing the delicious, meaty expanse of his thigh â thick and firm, the skin smooth and warm under your trembling fingers.
âgo ahead, baby,â he says, voice rough with arousal as he settles you onto his leg, your slick pussy pressing directly against the hard muscle of his thigh. his hands slide up to your hips, holding you steady but not guiding â letting you take control, âshow me everything you imagine when iâm not here.â
you bite your lip, hesitation melting away as the heat of his body seeps into yours. slowly, you start to move, rolling your hips forward so your swollen clit drags along the ridge of his thigh. the friction is immediate and intoxicating â firmer than the pillow, warmer, alive with the subtle flex of his muscle beneath you.
a moan slips out unbidden, your hands bracing on his shoulders for leverage as you grind down harder, your arousal smearing across his skin, each slide smoother, wetter, hotter.
haechan watches you intently, his breath hitching as he feels the heat of your pussy against him, âfuck, yeah, just like that pretty â ride my thigh just like that,â he mutters, one hand squeezing your ass to encourage you, âtell me everything baby, what exactly were you thinking about while you were abusing that pillow, hmm?â
thereâs a wicked smirk on his lips and you know heâll hold this moment over your head forever but you couldnât care less. not when his other hand trails up your side, thumb flicking over your nipple, pinching it lightly to draw out a gasp from you, exactly how you imagined.
you rock faster now, the pressure building anew, your folds parting around the thick width of his leg as you chase the heat. the words spill out between pants, embarrassment mixing with the raw need pulsing through you, âi-i was imagining you here, hyuckâŚ.your hands gripping my hips, pulling me down onto your cockâŚfucking me so deep i could feel every inch stretching my pussy.â
your clit throbs against him, every grin sending jolts of pleasure up your spine, juices coating his thigh in a glistening trail. you lean forward, forehead pressing against his for a moment, voice breaking, âgod, i missed you...every night without you, i ache for thisâyour skin on mine, fucking me the way only you can.â
your confessions leave him breathless and before you can continue â he pulls you closer, crashing his lips against yours in a hungry kiss. his tongue dives in, tasting your moans as it tangles with yours, wet and demanding.
you kiss him back fiercely, hips still rolling steadily, head spinning. his free hand cups the back of your neck, holding you there. the kiss only breaks when you both need air, strings of saliva connecting your lips briefly.
he shifts his leg slightly to give you more friction, the muscle tensing under your pussy, pressing right up against your entrance
âkeep talking, baby. did you picture me flipping you over? fucking you from behind?â his fingers dig into your ass, spreading you wider so your pussy lips splay open against his skin, the cool air teasing your exposed hole as you slide back and forth.
âyes,â you whimper, but he silences you with his mouth again, kissing you deeply as your hips snap in a desperate rhythm. the wet slap of your soaked folds against his thigh echoes in the room, muffled slightly by the sounds of your shared breaths.
âiâi saw you bending me over the bed, your cock pounding my ass, balls slapping my clit... filling me with your cum until it leaked out,â you admit, voice cracking with emotion, tears pricking your eyes from the intensity, ââmissed you so much, hyuckâyour scent, your voice whispering dirty things in my ear, your body pinning me down.â
haechan's cock strains harder against the fabric, a dark spot forming from his own precum, but he doesn't touch it â focused entirely on pleasing you, on drawing out every filthy detail.
he captures your mouth in a brief, bruising kiss, tongues battling as his hand slides up to tangle in your hair, then pulls back, âmissed me that bad?,â he asks teasingly, smirking, but under it all is a hint of adoration he only had reserved for you.
âsay it again â tell me how much you need your boyfriend's thigh to get off because i wasn't here to fuck you raw.â
you nod frantically, grinding down with everything you have, the friction building that sweet, unbearable pressure. your breaths come in ragged gasps, body trembling as you hump faster, clit pulsing wildly, sweat slicking your skin where it presses against his chest, nipples dragging over his shirt with each roll of your hips.
âmissed you, hyuck... need your thighs wrapped around me, your cock buried deepâfuck, i touched myself every night thinking of you.â
he leans in for a quick, teasing peck before murmuring against your lips, âthat's my girl,â his voice rough as he flexes his thigh again.
he chuckles darkly, âso desperate, rutting that pillow like a slut in heat. imagine my tongue instead â lapping up all that wetness while you beg for more,â his hand sliding between your legs from behind, fingers teasing your entrance without penetrating, just circling the rim, collecting your slick to smear it higher up his thigh.
he steals another kiss, deep and possessive, swallowing your whimpers as his thumb presses lightly on your perineum, adding pressure that makes stars burst behind your eyelids, âsoak meâmake a mess on my thigh like the needy girl you are.â
his words spur you on, hips snapping in a rhythm that's frantic and desperate, the wet sounds of your pussy sliding against him filling the room alongside your shared pants. he leans in, lips brushing your ear, âyou look so fucking hot like thisâgetting off on my thigh because you couldn't wait.â
the coil in your belly tightens unbearably, nails digging into his shoulders as you hump his thigh harder, faster. his hands roam â gripping your breasts, rolling your nipples between his fingers.
âcome for me, sweetheart,â he urges, voice gravelly, âshow me how bad you needed this.â
âfuckâhyuckâiâmââ you manage to cry out, the words dissolving into a moan as the orgasm crashes over you. hard. your pussy convulses, walls fluttering desperately around nothing as waves of pleasure rip through your body.
you grind down hard one last time, juices squirting out in hot spurts, soaking his thigh completelyâdripping down his leg and pooling on the sheets beneath. your thighs quake around him, nails raking his shoulders as you shudder through the release. haechan's strong hands hold you in place, murmuring encouragement into a final, tender kiss that grounds you.
as the tremors fade, you collapse against his chest, panting, pussy still twitching against the slick, cum-drenched skin of his thigh. he strokes your back gently, but the hunger in his eyes hasn't dimmed. his fingers trace lazy circles along your spine while the other hand gripped your hip possessively.
he tilts your chin up with a knuckle, capturing your gaze, his lips curving into that wicked smirk you love, âyou did so good for me, baby,â he murmurs, voice low and gravelly, before leaning in to brush a soft kiss against your forehead, then your temple, trailing down to your jaw. the tenderness contrasts with the hard bulge pressing insistently against your side, his cock throbbing through his shorts, begging for attention.
you shift slightly, feeling the sticky warmth between your legs, body already humming with aftershocks and fresh anticipation. he chuckles softly, the sound vibrating through his chest as he pulls you into a deeper kiss â slow and sweet.
when he breaks away, his breath fans hot over your ear, âi missed you tooâŚso much,â he whispers, his voice softening with genuine warmth, eyes locking onto yours with that rare vulnerability, âevery second away from you sucked ass.â
you giggle at his choice of words, nuzzling closer, âiâm glad you're home nowâŚi love it when youâre here, with me.â
the moment hangs, sweet and intimate, his arms wrapping tighter around you, pulling you flush against his body as if he never wants to let go.
but after a while, the air thickens with desire again, and he grins, that playful edge returning, ânow... let me take care of you and give you what you actually wantâŚgonna flip you over, spread those legs wide, and fuck you until you're screaming my name â filling that tight pussy with my cum, just like you dreamed about,â he whispered, quickly flipping you onto your back, body hovering over yours, that devilish smirk back on his lips.
pairing: brother's best friend!haechan x fem. reader genre: smut, bit of crack wc: 7k summary: you send a spicy photo to the wrong lee and suddenly your brother's best friend is at your door with mulled wine and a space heater talking about "keeping you warm" content warnings: christmas/holidays setting, explicit sexual content, alcohol consumption, accidental sexting, mild language/profanity, oral sex (f. receiving), fingering, unprotected sex, dirty talk, lingerie kink, references to bruising/scratches from sex, banter & relentless teasing, mild reference to soreness/discomfort, hae is actually a simp and down bad, reader is a bit of a tsundere lowk, the bells stayed ON during sex a/n: merry xmas besties !! accept this last min gift from me because i honestly donât know how to thank you enough for all the love this year. ngl this was definitely a bit rushed bc i wanted to post it on time for xmas so it is pretty fast paced. also, if you spot any mistakes lmk i will fix them eventually hehe. anyways enjoy!! ps: take a shot for every time you see the words "jingle bells" lol
There is a strange calm that comes over the city on Christmas Eve. Fewer cars line the roads, lights go out behind shop windows, and it seems as though all the apartments in your street have the same deep orange glow, as if the city has put a blanket around itself and turned on a reading light.
Your place is a different story altogether.
The heater has given up on you yet another winter, and you exist in thick socks and oversized sweaters for the duration, fogging the air with your breath as if youâre holidaying in a downbeat ski lodge rather than your zone 2 apartment.
Your mother has already called three times, each a frantic ninety-second sprint through holiday plans: Will you bring the extra chairs? Are you still pescatarian, or just being difficult about red meat? Can you pick up the right cranberry sauce, you know the one in the glass jar, not the jellied monstrosity from the tin?
You agree to everything, phone wedged between your cheek and shoulder, trying to sound composed while your teeth threaten to chatter. Youâre still perched on your bed, half-naked except for the red lace and those absurd little bells. Your thighs and shoulders ache with cold, and youâre painfully aware of every square inch of exposed skin.
Not ten minutes ago, youâd spent the better part of an hour contorting into increasingly improbable angles in red lace and utterly humiliating jingle bells, all in the name of looking effortless for Jeno, of course.Â
Jeno: thereâs a name your pulse seems to know better than your own. Three months of teasing pictures from him post-workout, with nothing but a towel slung over his hips so his abs take center stage. The subtext has never been subtle. Tonight youâd planned to stop being subtle in return.
Now, while your mom lists off a litany of tasks, youâre scrolling through chats ready to finally send the photo thatâs taken nearly an hour (and a yearâs worth of courage) to create. The cold had made the whole thing an endurance exercise, goosebumps rippling over your arms as you tried to ignore how the bells jingled with every movement. The best photo sits ready on your screen, the last thing you snapped before your momâs ringtone interrupted.
Sheâs still talking about napkin colors, whether the buses are still running, and remindng you to bring nice pajamas for the inevitable Christmas morning photos. Youâre only half listening as you thumb out a quick âMerry Christmas xâ, attach the photo, and press send, so practiced in the gesture you donât bother double checking.
Thereâs a satisfying whoosh.
Then your blood runs cold when you read the name at the top of the chat.
Lee Haechan.
Not Lee Jeno.
Not the man with gym selfies whoâs been circling your DMs like a hawk.
No. Youâve just sent a very curated, very intimate, very jingling photo of yourself to Lee fucking Haechanâyour brotherâs best friend. Eternal nuisance. Long-time gremlin. The boy who once told your crush that you still slept with a stuffed animal named Mr. Toast when you were fifteen.Â
The phone buzzes in your hand.
Haechan: holy. shit. Haechan: is this what youâre wearing to dinner tomorrow orâŚ?
Your mother's voice becomes white noise as you watch those messages appear. The phone nearly slips from your suddenly nerveless fingers.
"âand don't forget the wine, the Pinot Grigio not the Sauvignon Blanc, you know how your father gets aboutâ"
"Mom, I have to go," you interrupt, voice strangled and hysterical. "Emergency."
"What emergency, dearâ"
You hang up. She'll forgive you eventually, probably after three glasses of the wrong wine, but right now you have bigger problems. Catastrophically bigger problems.
You: THAT WASN'T FOR YOU You: DELETE IT You: DELETE IT RIGHT NOW You: HAECHAN I SWEAR TO GOD
The typing bubble appears immediately.Â
Haechan: you know, when you said you were bringing dessert tomorrow Haechan: i assumed you meant cookies or something
You're going to die. Actually, physically die. In your freezing apartment, still wearing the stupid lingerie.
You: it was meant for someone else You: obviously You: please just delete it and we never speak of this again
Haechan: someone else??? Haechan: so youâre just spreading holiday cheer randomly Haechan: i'm devastated
Your apartment feels even colder now, or maybe that's just the mortification freezing you from the inside out. You scramble for your oversized sweater, yanking it over your head while trying to type one-handed.
You: this isn't funny
Haechan: it's a little funny Haechan: do i say thank you? is this a secret santa thing?
You: how much
Haechan: ?
You: how much money to pretend this never happened You: name your price
You can practically see him in his apartment, probably sprawled on his sofa in those ratty joggers he refuses to throw away, grinning at his phone in glory.
Haechan: bold of you to assume i can be bought Haechan: but also Haechan: 50 dollars
You: done
Haechan: per day
You: WHAT
Haechan: do you want my silence or not Haechan: this is premium blackmail material Haechan: i could dine out on this story for years
You pull the sweater down properly, the wool scratching against your skin where the lace still sits underneath. He's literally coming to your parents' house tomorrow for Christmas. You'll have to sit across from him at dinner, pass him the potatoes, pretend everything's normal while he knows exactly what you look like under your ugly sweater.
Haechan: although i'm curious Haechan: who's the lucky recipient supposed to be Haechan: anyone i know?
You: none of your business
Haechan: it literally became my business Haechan: when you made it my business
Your phone starts ringing. His contact photo fills the screen with that stupid selfie he'd taken with your phone on Markâs birthday last year, mouth full of roast potato, eyes crossed. You'd never bothered to change it.
You decline the call.
He rings again immediately.
"What," you answer through gritted teeth, pulling your knees up to your chest, trying to conserve what little body heat you have left.
"You sound cold," is the first thing he says, and you can hear the grin in his voice.
"My heating's broken."
"Again? Y/N, it's literally freezing."
"Yes, well, I've had other concerns tonight."
He laughs and you can tell heâs delighted by the sounds of it. "This is the best thing that's happened to me all year."
"I'm so glad my humiliation brings you joy."
"I wouldnât call it humiliation," he says. "More like... revelation."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Just that I didn't know you owned anything that wasn't either stolen from your brother or three sizes too big."
You pull the sweater over your knees. "I contain multitudes."
"Clearly." There's a rustling on his end, like he's shifting position. "So who's the guy?"
"I told you it's none of your business."
"Come on, I'm going to find out anyway. Your mom tells me everything."
He's right, which is infuriating. Your mother treats Haechan like the son she never had, even though she literally has two sons already.
"It's just someone from class," you mumble.
"That Jino guy? The one who looks like he irons his underwear?"
"No." You lie. Another con from knowing Haechan for that long is that he knows most of your situationships.
"Thank god. I was concerned about your taste."
"My taste is fine."
"Debatable, considering you just sent meâ"
"That was an accident!"
"A fortunate one," he says.
You're about to respond when your phone buzzes with another message. For one horrible moment you think it's Jeno, somehow cosmically aware of your failure, but it's worse.
Mum: Did you hang up on me? Mum: Haechan says he'll pick you up tomorrow since the buses aren't running Mum: So helpful, that boy
"Did you just text my mother?" you accuse.
"She texted me first. Apparently you're being difficult about the wine."
"I hung up because I was having a crisis!"
"Past tense? Crisis over?"
You look down at yourself in the giant sweater, exposed legs slowly turning blue, hair probably resembling something from a horror film. "No, it's very much ongoing."
"Want me to come over?"
The question catches you off guard. "What?"
"Your heating's broken, it's Christmas Eve, and you sound pathetic. I'll bring mulled wine."
"Absolutely not."
"I'll even delete the photo."
You pause. "Really?"
"I donât know, but you can try to convince me."
"I hate you." You groan.
"I know," he says, and you can hear keys jingling on his end. "See you in twenty."
"Haechan, noâ"
He hangs up.
You gape at your phone in disbelief. This night has already careened so far off the rails that him showing up feels almost inevitable.
You look around your freezing apartment, at the poorly decorated tree leaning precariously in the corner, at the mountain of unwrapped presents for tomorrow, at yourself in your ridiculous combination of grandma sweater and inadvertent festive lingerie.
Your phone buzzes once more.
Haechan: might want to put on some pants before i get there
You pad to your bedroom, feet freezing on the hardwood floors, and catch sight of yourself in the mirror. The sweater hits mid-thigh, the red lace barely visible underneath, and your face has a flush that comes from both the cold and mortification.
The bells jingle mockingly as you search for pants.
You manage to find a pair of shorts and yank them on just as your doorbell rings. The man has never been on time for anything in his life except, apparently, your personal disasters.
You check the peephole and immediately groan. Heâs standing there in a perfectly tailored coat, scarf knotted at his throat, holding what looks like two bottles of wine and a carrier bag, looking infuriatingly put-together for someone who just invited himself over at half nine on Christmas Eve. Thereâs a glint in his eye that you recognize all too well. Heâs about to make your life miserable.
âI can see your shadow under the door,â he calls. âJust let me in before your neighbors think Iâm casing the place.â
You open the door, and he breezes past you, bringing a swirl of cold air and the scent of cinnamon and clove. He sets everything on your counter, shakes snow from his hair and surveys your living room.
âChrist, itâs colder in here than outside,â he says, setting down the wine. âHow are you not dead?â
âLayers,â you mutter, though the truth is youâve barely stopped shivering since your little photo shoot. He starts unpacking his bag: two bottles of red, a battered thermos emanating the smell of mulled wine, a packet of mince pies, andâ
âIs that a space heater?â
âBorrowed it from my next door neighbor.â Heâs already crouched by the outlet, plugging it in and aiming it at the sofa. âHe has his girlfriend over, so he wonât need this.â
You roll your eyes at his suggestive tone.Â
 âPlus he felt bad when I told him about your situation.â
âYou told him?â
âRelax, I meant your heating situation. Not yourâŚâ He glances at you, eyes skimming a bit too long over your form, ââŚother situation.â
You tug your sweater lower, warmth prickling up your chest for a different reason now. âStop saying situation.â
âWould you prefer predicament? Circumstance? Mistake?â
âIâd prefer you forget it ever happened.â
He fiddles with the heater settings, then stands and looks at you.
âBit difficult, that,â he says.
âWhy?â
He turns away, busying himself with the wine. âBecause in all the years Iâve known you, thatâs the first time youâve ever texted me something that wasnât a complaint or a threat.â
âThatâs notââ You cut yourself off, frowning. â... True.â
He grins, handing you a mug which you take with a scowl.
âCome on. Youâre shivering over there.â He sits, patting the spot beside him.
You hesitate, but the heater and the wine conspire against your self-control, and you find yourself sitting next to him, careful to keep a gap. You wrap your hands around the mug, breathing in the spiced steam as the heat seeps into your frozen fingers.
âSo,â he says, pulling out his phone. âWant to see something funny?â
âIf itâs the photoââ
âNo.â He scrolls. âItâs Jinoââ
âJenoâ
ââwhatever. His Instagram.â He tilts the screen your way. Row after row of gym selfies, every caption worse than the last.
ââGrind never stops,ââ you read, making a face. ââDiscipline is my love language.â Oh my god.â
âThatâs who you were sending nuââ he gestures, one eyebrow raised.
âFestive greetings. Shut up.â
He grins, holding the phone just out of reach when you lunge. ââMuscles are built in the kitchenâ? Come on, Y/N.â
âHeâs nice!â
âHe refers to himself as an alpha unironically.â
âHow do you evenââ You scramble closer, grabbing for the phone, nearly spilling your wine. The movement makes the bells under your sweater jingle faintly, and you freeze, feeling a flush creep up your neck.
âYou're still wearing it?â His voice drops half an octave.
You freeze, caught like a goddamn rabbit under a hawkâs shadow. âI forgot it was there,â you lie.
He lets out a soft laugh. Not his usual smug, shit-eating grin. Darker.Â
âYeah?â he says. âYou forgot youâre sitting next to me in fucking lingerie?â
You open your mouth. Nothing comes out. There was nothing to say.
He says nothing either, elbow on the back of the sofa, wine in one hand, and staring intently. His eyes drag across your face, your flushed cheeks, down to where your sweater bunches at your thighs, as if he could see the garter strap underneath. Like he remembered exactly what was in that photo, and now he was imagining it all over againâexcept this time, two feet away.
âJesus Christ,â he mutters, running a hand through his hair and looking away.
You want to make a joke, deflect, do anything besides sit there.
âStop,â you say quietly, when he tilts his head and opens his mouth again. âDonât make this into something.â
âMake what into something?â he asks, far too innocent.
âThis. The... situation.â
His smile is sharp. âYou mean the one you told me to stop saying out loud?â
You put your mug down before your hands could betray how hard they were shaking. âYes.â
He glances at your knees. Then at your fucking sweater again, and the way you were pulling it lower, as if it could somehow shield you from how naked the air between you had become.
âOkay,â he says, sitting up, setting his own wine down. âLetâs not make it into something. Letâs just sit here, like weâre normal people, sharing some warm wine by a borrowed space heater. Letâs not talk about the fact that youâre wearing lingerie underneath that. Letâs pretend I didnât spend the entire ride here wondering what the fuck I was walking into.â
You swallow. âYou came over to make sure I didnât embarrass myself further.â
He smiles.
âNo,â he says. âI came over because I couldnât stop picturing it. Because every time I blinked, it was just you, in that red fucking lace.â
A silent gasp leaves your parted lips. Whatâs with the sudden tension? Why is he saying these things?
âAnd then I get here,â he continues, âand you open the door like nothing and youâve got this little sweater on, acting all flustered and innocent. Meanwhileââ his eyes drop again, ââyouâre jingling every time you move. Teasing me.â
âStop,â you say. Your voice doesnât sound like your own.
âWhy?â he asks, leaning forward now, elbows on knees. âYou donât want to talk about it? Fine. But Iâm losing my goddamn mind, and you're pretending this is some kind of accident.â
âIt was.â
âYou didnât take that picture by accident. You didnât pick out that set by accident. You didnât forget to change.â
Haechan's gaze sharpens, pinning you in place as he leans back against the cushions. His eyes flick downward, catching the subtle movement under your sweater, and a smirk curled his lips.
The wine buzzes in your head, turning his words from mortifying to... intriguing. You feel a spark of defiance ignite, the alcohol stripping away your usual hesitation. Instead of shrinking, you meet his stare, tilting your chin up just a fraction. âWhat if I didn't forget,â you say, your voice steadier than you expected. You uncross your legs, letting the bells chime once more. You watch as his smirk falters for a split second, his pupils dilating.
Before you realize, heâs shifting closer until his knee presses against yours, the heat of his body radiates through his jeans. âOh yeah?â Haechan's tone dips lower, teasing, turning predatory as his fingers brush the hem of your sweater, tracing the edge where it meets your thigh.
âSo you sent me that photo on purpose, so I could what? Imagine peeling it off you all night?â His thumb grazed the skin just above your knee, circling slowly, sending sparks up your leg.Â
Emboldened by the alcoholâs warmth spreading through you, you donât pull away. Instead, you lean in a little, your hand resting on his thigh, fingers pressing into the firm muscle there.Â
âMaybeâ you whisper, the alcohol making your inhibitions dissolve like sugar in hot liquid. You can feel the dampness building between your folds, the thong growing slick as his words paint vivid pictures in your mind.Â
Haechan's eyes darken, his free hand coming up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers lingering at the nape of your neck.Â
âThen you're playing a dangerous game.â His breath is warm against your skin as he leans closer. He tugs gently at the collar of your sweater, exposing the strap of your bra, the lace edge peeking out.Â
The heater drones, the bells jingle, and for a suspended, ridiculous instant you register every outrageous detail at once: Haechanâs palm splayed hot over your ribcage, the hiss of his breath against your sternum, him moving to kneel between your legs.
âWanna play Monopoly instead then?â you blurt, because your default coping mechanism is apparently panicked jokes while half-naked.
He huffs a laugh against your skin, mouth still hovering indecent inches from your bra. âPretty sure you Iâd bankrupt you in ten moves.â His thumbs stroke slow circles over the lace, coaxing goose-bumps you feel all the way down to your calves. âAnd Iâm more of a chess man anyway. I like long games.â
Long games. Wonderful.Â
You plant a shaky hand on his shoulder and manage a breathy, âYouâre terrible at chess. You always forget the knights move in L-shapes.â
âCorrection.â He kisses the edge of the bra, voice muffled. âI know exactly how the knights move. I just prefer aââ another kiss, lower, ââmore aggressive opening.â
God. âAggressive openings are u-unnecessary.â
âI can be patient.â He nips your sternum lightly, then leans back just far enough that cool air hits the damp spot his mouth left behind. âThough my patience has limits.â
You intend to reply but the sight of him kneeling between your knees steals the alphabet from your tongue. His eyes are half-lidded, pupils blown, but thereâs wicked amusement still glinting at the edges.
He runs a fingertip down the center of your stomach, like marking squares on a board. âHereâs the thing⌠Every time these bells go offââhe flicks one, soft chime echoingââIâm picturing exactly how you looked in that photo. Except now youâre warm under my handsâ
âThatâs⌠not helping,â you manage, hips tipping forward of their own accord. The bell rings again and he hums approval deep in his chest, as if the sound feeds him.
âWasnât trying to.â He nudges your knees wider, the gesture almost gentlemanly, except for the promise simmering beneath. âBut since youâre so invested in fair playââ
He slips his free hand behind his neck, drags his scarf loose, then shrugs the coat off with theatrical slowness. Button by button, layer by layer, until the sofa swallows the fabric and heâs stripped to a black T-shirt that clings to lean muscle. You swallow. Hard.
âYour move,â he murmurs. âWant me to stop?â
Itâs a genuine offer, a clear exit, but you canât drag your gaze from the vein flexing in his forearm, canât ignore the ache blooming low every time your garter shifts.
Instead of answering, you hook your fingers under the hem of your sweater and tug. Cool air kisses your ribcage, then warmer air, then Haechanâs stare, molten and adoring all at once. His lips part on a silent expletive.
âShitââ He runs a hand through his hair. âOkay. Definitely a dangerous game.â
He stares at the red lace hugging your breasts, squishing them together so deliciously they seem about ready to burst from the confinement. The sight is a million times better than in the picture.
He leans in again, one palm settling on your knee, sliding upward with delicious inevitability.
âI thought you were a skilled player, show me then.â You breathe, and if he was restraining himself before, the words shred the leash.
Heâs on you in a second, mouth reclaiming your lips, tongue tracing the seam until you open willingly, hungrily. His other hand skates up your spine, pushing you closer to him.
When he pulls back, both of you are gasping. âYou realize,â he says, thumb brushing your kiss-swollen bottom lip, âthereâs no walking this back.â
You catch the thumb with your teeth, bite just hard enough to watch his eyes flare. âThen letâs walk it forward.â
His laugh is low, reverent, almost incredulous. âForward it is.â
He coaxes you onto your back, clothes discarded beside the lingerie, bells chiming faint approval.
âThese bells,â he murmurs, thumb dragging against your skin, âare ridiculous.â
Your hand slides up his thigh, brushing the growing bulge in his jeans. âDonât act like you donât like them now.âÂ
He inhales sharply, and his tongue presses to the inside of his cheek like heâs fighting a smile.
âFuck, look at you,â he growls, voice rough with desire. âKeep that up, and I won't be able to stop at just teasing.â He hooks a finger under the garter, snapping it lightly against your skin.
You press your palm flat against his erection, feeling it twitch under the denim. âWho said I want you to stop?â you shoot back, your words slurring just a touch from the alcohol, but laced with intent.
The bells jingle as you move closer, your free hand tugging at his shirt to pull him toward you.
Haechan's control cracks then. He captures your mouth in a fierce kiss again, his tongue sweeping in to claim yours, tasting of spiced wine.
His hand delves under your sweater, fingers tracing the curve of your waist, then up to cup your breast through the lace bra, thumb rolling over your hardening nipple.
You moan into his mouth, arching into his touch. He breaks the kiss to trail his lips down your neck and nips at the sensitive skin while his other hand plays with the garter belt and the bells that dangle teasingly.
âThese are fucking distracting,â he murmurs against your collarbone, his fingers plucking at one bell, making it ring out as he kisses lower, his mouth hovering over the swell of your breast. He tugs the bra cup down, latching onto your nipple with a wet suck that draws a sharp cry from you.
Your hands fumble with his belt. Boldness surges as you pop the button on his jeans and slide your hand inside to wrap around his thickening cock. He feels hot and hard in your grip, the veins pulsing under your fingers. You stroke him slowly, matching the rhythm of his mouth on your breast.
âShit, yes,â Haechan groans, his hips bucking into your hand. He releases your nipple with a pop, his eyes locking on yours, wild and intense. âYou're full of surprises tonight. That wineâs turning my good girl into a tease.â
He pushes you back against the sofa cushions, his body covering yours as he kisses you again, deeper this time, his fingers slipping between your thighs. They brush the edge of your thong, finding the soaked lace clinging to your core.
âSo fucking wet already,â he teases, rubbing slow circles over your clit through the fabric. You grind against his hand, feeling bolder still, your free hand tangling in his hair to pull him closer.
âMore,â you demand breathily, the wine stripping away any shyness. Haechan chuckles darkly, slipping the thong aside to trace your slick folds with two fingers, spreading your wetness without entering you yet.
He teases your entrance, while his thumb presses firmly on your clit, building the pressure until your thighs quiver. The bells ring out in a frantic melody as you writhe, your strokes on his cock growing faster.
He captures your wrist gently, pulling your hand away just enough to shed his shirt, revealing the lean muscles of his chest. Then he kneels between your legs again, hooking his fingers on the edges of the thong and pulling it properly to the side.
âLet's hear those bells one more time,â he says with a wicked grin, positioning you so your legs drape over his shoulders. His mouth descends, tongue flicking out to lap at your clit in long strokes, while his hands grip your ass, thumbs parting your cheeks slightly for better access.
You cry out, nails digging into the sofa, feeling every wet slide of his tongue, every suck that makes you clench around him. He delves lower, tongue thrusting into your entrance, fucking you with it shallowly as his nose bumps your clit. The tension coils tighter, your boldness shining through as you rock against his face.
âHaechan⌠donât stop,â you gasp, one hand reaching down to tangle in his hair.
He growls in approval, the vibration sending jolts through you. Rising up, he frees his cock fully, stroking it once as he lines up with your dripping pussy. âYou want this? All of me?â he asks, rubbing the head along your folds, coating himself in your arousal, prolonging the tease.
âYes, please!â you urge, guiding him in with your hips.
He thrusts forward slowly at first, inch by inch, stretching you until he bottoms out, both of you groaning at the fullness. He pauses there, his hips flush against yours, letting you adjust to the thick length.
His eyes lock on yours, dark and intense, as he rolls his hips in a slow circle, grinding against your inner walls and brushing your clit with his pubic bone.
âFuck, youâre so tight,â he murmurs, voice rough, before pulling back almost all the way out, the drag of his cock against your sensitive spots making you whimper.
He slams back in with a sharp thrust, the impact jolting the sofa and setting the bells to a sharp chime. You arch up, meeting him, your hands clutching his shoulders as he finds a steady rhythm of deep, measured strokes that have him withdrawing to the tip before plunging back in.
The pace builds gradually, his hands sliding under your ass to lift you slightly, changing the angle so he hits that spot deeper inside you with every push. You moan loudly, legs wrapping tighter around his waist, urging him deeper. Sweat beads on his chest, glistening under the Christmas lights, and you canât resist leaning up to lick a stripe across his collarbone, tasting the salt of him. He groans in response and speeds up, his thrusts turning harder, more insistent.
âLike that? Fuck, you take my cock so well,â he pants, one hand moving to pinch your nipple, rolling it between his fingers as he fucks into you relentlessly.
The coil in your belly tightens, pleasure sparking with each grind, but it still isnât enough. You need more, the edge hovering just out of reach. You buck your hips up to meet his, clenching around him deliberately, drawing a hiss from his lips.
âGod, yesâkeep doing that,â he demands, shifting his weight to hook one of your legs over his arm, opening you wider. This new position lets him drive even deeper, his cock stretching you to the limit with every brutal snap of his hips.
The sofa creaks beneath you, the bells a constant, erotic soundtrack, and you feel the pressure building, layer by layer, as he alternates between fast, shallow pumps that tease your entrance and long, slow drags that fill you utterly.
Your breaths come in gasps, bodies slick and sliding together, the room filling with the obscene sounds of your coupling, the squelch of your pussy gripping him, his grunts mingling with your cries. He leans down, capturing your mouth in a messy kiss, tongues tangling as he swallows your moans. Breaking away, he nips at your jaw, your neck, marking you with light bites while his free hand slips between your bodies to rub firm circles on your clit.
The dual sensation pushes you closer, your walls fluttering around his pistoning cock. âHaechan, Iâmâfuck,â you whine, nails raking down his back and leaving red trails that make him thrust even harder in response.
He is close tooâyou can tell from the way his rhythm falters, his cock twitching inside youâbut he is holding back, drawing it out, wanting to shatter you first.
âCome on, baby, let go for me,â he urges, voice strained, his fingers working your clit faster now, matching the relentless pace of his hips.
The bells chime wildly as your body tenses, the orgasm cresting slowly at first, then exploding in a rush that has you screaming his name. Your cunt clamps down hard, spasming in rhythmic pulses that milk his cock. Waves of ecstasy rip through you, making your vision blur and toes curl.
He follows seconds later, burying himself to the hilt with a final, deep thrust, his release flooding you in hot spurts. âShitâyes,â he groans, body shuddering as he pumps through it, prolonging both your highs until he has nothing left.
Only then does he collapse beside you, both of you panting, chests heaving. His fingers trace lazy patterns on your thigh, and the bells are finally quiet.
You wake up to several immediate regrets:
1. Your muscles are screaming in an everything-hurts-and-I-know-exactly-why kind of way.
2. Haechan is humming "All I Want for Christmas Is You" in your kitchen way too cheerfully for someone responsible for your inability to sit cross-legged ever again.
3. The bells are still on your floor, glinting like mocking little ghosts of choices past.
"Stop that," you croak from the sofa, your voice demolished. Wrecked. A casualty of making sounds you didn't know you were capable of.
He appears in the doorway holding two mugs, wearing your "Grinch Don't Kill My Vibe" pajama pants that sit criminally low on his hips. "Morning, jingles."
"Do not."
"Bells."
"Haechanâ"
"My little Christmas miracle." He's grinning now. "My festive angel. Myâ"
"I will throw this pillow at you."
"Didn't get enough violence last night?" He sets the mug down, dramatically rubbing his shoulder. "I think you bit me at one point."
You take a shirt from the floor (his shirt, you notice) and put it on, trying to look like someone who isnât sore in muscles they didn't know existed. "I can't go to dinner. I'll die. I'll burst into flames at the door. My mother will take one look at me and know."
"Know what?"
"That Iâthat weâ" You gesture helplessly between you.
"Had athletic, boundary-destroying sex that made you reconsider your stance on atheism?"
"I hate you."
"You really don't." He sips his coffee. "Your neighbors might, though. Pretty sure Mrs. Chen heard you calling meâ"
You slap a hand over his mouth. He licks it. You shriek and wipe it on his chest.
"Also," he adds cheerfully, "I texted your mom. Told her we'd be late because you had a 'wardrobe emergency.'"
"A what?"
"Well, I couldn't say 'your daughter can't walk properly because I rearranged her spine,' could I?" He flops next to you on the sofa, bouncing once to make you wince. "Though technically, the emergency is that you're not wearing much of a wardrobe."
"HAECHAN."
Half an hour later, youâre sitting in his car, gripping the door handle like you're about to jump out at a red light. He's connected his phone to Bluetooth and is purposely playing "Jingle Bell Rock" at low volume.
"I will end you," you mutter.
"You already did. My back looks like I fought a tiger." He shows you a glimpse of the scratches behind his shoulder, looking far too proud. "How do I explain these? 'Oh, these? Y/N just really loves Christmas?'"
"Tell them you fell."
"Into what? A wood chipper?â
You didnât dignify his attempt at a joke with a response, already feeling less than willing to express any kind of positive emotion in this supposed jolly day.
Truthfully, you were not upset at Haechan. You were upset with yourself for letting things get to this point, and even more for actually enjoying it to the point where you keep replaying every moment of it in your head.
Suddenly youâre pulling up at your parentâs driveway and Haechan is turning to you with dancing eyes. "Here we are! Ready?â
âNo.â
âToo bad.â He leans closer. âTry not to make that face when your mother asks how we slept.â
"LALALA CAN'T HEAR YOU." You scramble out of the car.
Your mother opens the door before you reach it, and Haechan immediately transforms into the perfect guest.
"Mrs. Y/L/N! You look radiant! Is that a new apron?"
"Oh, Haechan, you charmer!" She's beaming, completely taken in. "Come in, come in!"
He follows you in, and as you pass, he whispers, "You're walking like a baby giraffe."
"And you're about to die," you hiss back.
Haechan has positioned himself directly across from you at the table, which was a mistake because now he's making eyes at you over the roast potatoes.
"So Haechan," your father starts, "how's work going?"
âGreat, sir.â He keeps his voice spotless while rolling a green bean in gravy in the filthiest way imaginable. âJust got promoted.â
Your mother claps. âY/N, did you know Haechan was promoted?â
âNo,â you say flatly. âWe donât update each other on our lives. That would require me speaking to him voluntarily.â
"I don't like to brag," Haechan interrupts smoothly. "Y/N's been very supportive though. Very... hands-on with her support."
You kick him under the table. He catches your foot between his legs and holds it there.
"That's nice," your mother says. "You two have been getting along better lately."
Mark snorts into his wine. "Since when?"
"Oh, we're getting along great," Haechan agrees, running his thumb over your ankle. "Really found our rhythm, haven't we, Y/N?"
You're trying to pull your foot back but he's holding it hostage. "R--right. Yes."
"In fact," Haechan continues, now massaging your foot under the table while maintaining perfect eye contact with your father, the absolute sociopath, "just last night we were discussing how well we work together."
"You were?" Mark asks suspiciously.
"Yes," Haechan continues cheerfully, now eating mashed potatoes in a way that brings back vivid sense memories of his tongue doing things to you, "we had a very thorough discussion. Covered all the angles. Really got into it. Deep into it."
Your wine glass shakes as you set it down.
"Multiple positions," he adds thoughtfully. " I mean on the subject, different positions on the subject."
"What subject?" your father asks, bless his oblivious heart.
"Life," Haechan says philosophically. "Passion. The importance of... tension and release."
You stand so abruptly your chair screeches. "BATHROOM."
Youâre standing by your motherâs frost-covered roses, pressing your cold fingers to your burning cheeks, trying to make sense of the last eighteen hours. The marks on your neck throb faintly. Your thighs still ache. And somewhere between last night and this morning, Lee Haechan has completely rewired your brain chemistry.
This is the same boy who put green food coloring in your shampoo and called you âGrincheyâ two Christmases ago. Same one youâve spent years cultivating a careful, sustained annoyance toward, like tending to a particularly bitter garden.
So why canât you stop thinking about him?
âPlotting your escape?â
You jump. Heâs standing there with two pieces of Christmas pudding, looking unfairly good in his stupid Christmas sweater, the one your mom bought him two years ago that he actually kept. Youâd made fun of him for it then.
âPlotting your murder, actually.â
âAw.â He holds out a plate. âPeace offering?â
You take it, careful not to let your fingers touch his. Canât trust yourself anymore, apparently.
âWhat was all that âwe found our rhythmâ crap?â
"We did, though." He takes a bite of pudding, considering. "We should try more next time."
You turn to glare at him, but heâs not looking at you with his usual teasing smirk. Instead, thereâs something softer in his eyes that makes your stomach drop in a way that has nothing to do with last nightâs activities.
âWhat?â you ask.
âNothing. JustâŚâ He sets down his plate, runs a hand through his hair. âDo you know how long Iâve wanted to do that?â
âHave sex on my broken sofa? Weird kink, but okay.â
âY/N.â The way he says your name makes you look back. âIâm being serious.â
âSince when are you serious?â
âSince you walked into your parentsâ house freshman year wearing that ridiculous reindeer onesie and told me my haircut looked like a hedgehog had died on my head.â
You blink. âThat was ages ago.â
âFour years, three months, and roughly two weeks.â Heâs studying the frozen roses now, purposefully not looking at you. âBut whoâs counting.â
âWhy⌠why do you even remember that?â
He tilts his head, looking faintly amused at your confusion. âWhy do you think?â
ââŚYouâve liked me since thenâŚâ
âLiked is a generous word for what I felt when you were being a pain in my ass.â He finally looks at you, and that vulnerability is back, the one that makes him look younger.
âButâ but the girls youâve dated are so different. I mean Iâm not your type at all.â
âGod you are so blind.â He chuckles incredulously.
Suddenly, youâre thinking about all the moments youâd dismissed. How he always brought your favorite snacks. How he remembered how you take your coffee and always made it better than anyone else. How he terrorized every guy you dated but played it off as "brotherly" concern.
âOh my god,â you breathe. âYouâre in love with me.â
âYeah, well.â He shrugs, trying for casual but failing entirely. âSurprise?â
âYouâre in love with me and you let me send you that photoââ
âI mean it was an accident.â
ââand you came over and you brought wine and you fixed my heatingââ
âTechnically, I didnât fix your heatingââ
ââand then you fucked me on my sofa knowing youâve been in love with me for FOUR YEARS?â
He winces. âWhen you put it like that, it sounds weird.â
âIt sounds insane!â Youâre pacing now, the pudding forgotten. âWho does that? Who just⌠sits on feelings for four years?â
âSomeone whose best friend would murder them for touching his sister?â He catches your hand, stops your pacing. âSomeone who was terrified of ruining the only excuse he had to see you? Someone who was willing to take whatever he could get, even if it was just annoying you at Christmas dinners?â
You stare at him. Past the jokes and the smugness and the playful torture. Thereâs Haechan, who drove over at 9 PM on Christmas Eve because your heating was broken. Who made sure you were warm and safe and⌠oh.
âI think I have feelings for you too,â you say, and it comes out accusatory. âWhich is frankly inconvenient.â
His whole face changes. âYeah?â
âI mean, I hated you twelve hours ago.â
âNo, you didnât.â
âI strongly disliked you.â
âI donât even think you believe that.â
âIâŚâ You think about last night, how easy it was to let him in, how right it felt when he kissed you, how youâd wanted him to stay even after the sex. âYouâre annoying and insufferable and you eat all my good snacks andââ
He kisses you, cutting off your spiral. You were starting to miss his lips when they werenât on yours. What the hell was happening?
âAnd?â he prompts against your lips.
âAnd I canât stop thinking about you,â you admit. âLast night was⌠but even before that, you were everywhere. In my head. Under my skin. Itâs extremely annoying.â
âOh no,â he grins, âare you admitting you love me back?â
âIâm admitting youâre less horrible than anticipated.â
âPractically a declaration of love from you.â He pulls you closer, and you realize youâre not cold anymore. Havenât been since he came outside.
"By the way, I still have your underwear in my bag."
"WHATâ"
He pulls back just enough to see your face. "Mark asked if I had a cat toy in there because of all the jingling."
"I'm taking everything I said back. And moving to Antarctica. Iâm gonna be a penguin scientist."
"Penguins mate for life, you know."
"Not the kind I'll study. Mine will be commitment-phobic penguins."
He laughs softly and kisses you again. Soft and sure and nothing like last night's desperate heat. This is a promise kiss. A Sunday morning kiss. A forty-years-from-now kiss.
"Your family's taking bets," he murmurs against your lips, "on how long before we admit we're together. Your dad has Valentine's Day. Your mom's betting on New Year's. Mark, pessimistically, has next Christmas."
"And you?"
He grins, that playful grin that started this whole mess. "Oh, I already won."
"How?"
"Bet on Christmas Eve." He kisses you again softly. "I always had good timing."
From inside, Mark's voice carries: "ARE THEY KISSING?"
Your mother's response: "Leave them alone, they're having a moment!"
"WE'RE NOT HAVING A MOMENT," you shout back.
"Speak for yourself, jingles" He says loudly, "WE'RE HAVING A VERY EMOTIONAL MOMENT!"
"I swear to godâ"
"Come on." He tugs you toward the house, fingers laced with yours. "Let's go inside before you freeze. Can't have you catching cold before our New Year's plans."
"We don't have New Year's plans."
"We do now. You, me, and the bells."
"I'm burning those bells."
"Please don't. They're sentimental to me now."
You let him pull you back into the warmth, where your family is pretending very badly not to stare, where Mark looks like he needs several shots of whiskey, where your mother is already planning what is clearly a wedding in her head.
You understand with perfect clarity that you're completely fucked. You're going to fall stupidly in love with Lee Haechan. Probably already have.
thank you for reading! any feedback is greatly appreciated! <3
â Ë Ě âââ . âdistancingâ.
| summary | Doyoung's enlistment had finally arrived, and neither of you two is truly ready to be apart. | a/n | uuh h-hi ( â˘ĚĚŻ â â˘ĚĚŻ)... i'm back... kinda?... i'm writing everything, cuties, please keep waiting for me... yes, i came back to my last layout cuz the other one was too ugly AND ITS BEEN A WHILE PLEASE I HOPE YALL LIKE IT, SPECIALLY U, ANON!! >.< | cw | smut, fluff, oral (f), unprotected sex, pet names. | wc | 3.9k words.
You had been preparing for this moment for months. You knew everyone had delayed it as much as possible but, as always, the future you feared was bound to arrive sooner or later. Even though you tried to push the thought away as the days drew closer, it was undeniable that he had to leave.
As was almost inevitable for any man in that country, Doyoung needed to serve his nation for a certain period of time, given the history of the peninsula, still full of tension since the war. Utter foolishness, you thought. Only because they were taking your beloved away from you. It wasnât fair!
Of course, despite everything, it wasnât the end of the world. You knew youâd see him again. Even so, that wasn't enough to make you feel any less unhappy, a year and a half away from the love of your life felt painfully close to torture.
You couldnât help feeling down about the news: tomorrow was the day Doyoung would leave you. Honestly, you had already been suffering for weeks, ever since heâd announced that he planned to enlist now.
You tried your best not to let it show, joining him at gatherings with friends and family to say goodbye, last dinners at restaurants, walks in the park, game nights, everything.
The words related to enlistment, the army, and everything in that lexical field were avoided by you like the devil avoids the cross. Anything that could remotely refer to it made you shut off your brain and simply not process it.
But, at the end of the day, you werenât invincible to emotions. Not that you needed to act strong, you were just trying not to let it affect you too much because you knew yourself, and you knew that the moment you allowed yourself to truly feel, you would unravel into every kind of emotion, one worse than the other.
Not just that, but you also didnât want to make it any more difficult than it already was for Doyoung himself. You knew it was hard to simply interrupt the course of your life to dedicate more than 540 days to such a task, so adding even more of your own melancholic feelings onto him wasnât part of your plans.
Sometimes you were very innocent, or maybe scatterbrained would be the right term, for thinking that Doyoung, your partner of years, wouldnât notice any change in your behavior, in the way you acted, in the way you spoke and, most importantly, in the things you did not say.
You were more sensitive than usualâany tiny inconvenience was enough to make you cry or stay irritated for the rest of the day. Watching movies, no matter the genre, would leave you in tears. You were also glued to him more than normal, constantly hugging him and demanding his attention even for the smallest things. When he was at work, texting and calling him all the time, with no break, had almost become a routine. It was as if you were truly trying to savor every last millisecond of his presence.
Of course, he wasnât bothered by it in any way. In fact, he himself couldnât stop calling you back, and he would run straight into your arms every time he had a spare moment. He knew that the reason you were in such a grey mood was because he would soon be leaving for mandatory military service, and he himself felt the same way.
But great minds think alike! Just like you, he tried to mask it by saying everything was okay. He didnât want to make you feel worse, quite the opposite. He just wanted to make you forget that he would be away from you for such a long time. And it worked for the first few days, but soon he was met with those sad eyes that didnât quite match your smile.
In the end, all of this led to a strange pathâthe two of you were surrounded by an... odd tension. It was almost funny, in a way. Neither of you brought up the subject when you were alone, and every now and then there were those pointless moments of silence, each of you lost in your own world, thinking about how to approach it, how to finally put the inevitable into words and have a proper talk, just the two of you.
Nevertheless, Kim Doyoung is not very good at keeping things that bother him to himself, and heâs even worse at avoiding important conversations for too long, especially when it comes to you.
Thatâs why he finally decided to talk to you. Nothing too grand or dramatic like a separation, but a conversation, because communication was the best way to sort things out and understand where you both stood, especially with less than a day left before he would finally leave. It wasnât something that could be avoided any longer, either way.
So, he planned a nice dinner at your favorite restaurant, hoping to enjoy a lovely evening with you, to steal a few peaceful hours together and lift your spirits, even if only a little, which worked perfectly, since you loved being in his presence and sharing good food by his side.
The night was pleasant as well. The weather was a little cold, but that only made it better when you were walking back home, holding hands and staying so, so close to each other while talking about whatever had happened during dinner.
And then, once you were finally home, the warm atmosphere slowly began to dissipate, replaced by that bitter feeling of longing, even when he was right there beside you.
While he hung the coats on the rack, you headed to the kitchen to make a hot drink, even though neither of you gave the impression of needing anything to warm up; you simply wanted to distract yourself a little longer. Doyoung, in turn, watched you with attentive eyes, wondering if there was a right moment to talk about something that shouldnât have even been that hard to adress.
You stood by the counter, your eyes fixed on the kettle on the stove, so focused that you reached that point where your vision blurred and your mind emptied of thoughts, just⌠looking without thinking.
Silently, Doyoung approached you and wrapped his arms around you, resting his chin on your shoulder and smiling when you turned your head slightly to look at him.
With a soft tone, he broke the brief silence youâd been lost in. âDonât you think itâs time for us to have a conversation?â His voice came out a little muffled as he pressed his lips against your shoulder.
You hummed, shrugging slightly. âWhat do you mean?â
âYou know what I mean.â He smiled softly and pulled away just enough to turn off the stove. Then he took your hand and gently tugged you along with him, heading toward the living room.
You let him lead you without a word of protest, settling beside him on the soft couch. Your hands remained intertwined, his thumb tracing slow, soothing circles over your skin, a quiet, familiar gesture meant to calm you for whatever you were feeling or about to feel right now.
"So⌠I'm leaving tomorrow," he stated simply, like ripping off a bandage once and for all, straight to the point, watching your face to gauge your reaction. "And for some reason, we both decided to somehow ignore that, right?â
Yes, now, thanks to him, things were starting to feel a little too real. Your shoulders fell, the tension youâd been holding onto melting away as a quiet sigh slipped past your lips while you listened to him. It wasnât that you were ignoring it, you were just⌠not talking about it so directly.
âI didnât mean to make things awkward like that,â you murmured, your gaze dropping to your intertwined hands as your fingers tightened around his. âI just⌠I donât want you to go.â When your eyes found his again, your brows drew together, your lips trembling ever so slightly as they curved downward.
Doyoungâs face softened even more as he brought his free hand up to your cheek, which you instantly leaned into, nuzzling against it slightly, his warm palm as comforting as ever.
âBelieve me, I donât want to leave you either,â he said, bringing your hand to his lips and pressing a soft kiss to the back of it. âAnd itâs not your fault, baby. I didnât want to say anything about it either. I was a little scared about⌠well, everything.â
âI know, I know,â you murmured, pulling him into a hug and shifting slightly so he could settle comfortably against you, his head resting on your chest. âI wish we could just skip all of that. Are we being too melodramatic?â
âMmh, I donât think so. Anyone would be on their knees if they knew theyâd have to stay away from you for almost two years.â He lifted his head slightly to look up at you, a smile forming and growing even wider when you pressed a kiss to his cheek. âAnd how are you feeling, love?â
You didnât even need to say much, the atmosphere between you was already back to normal, light, smooth. Nothing like that awkward tension lingering in the air, just a simple conversation setting things right.
âI should be asking you that, youâre the one enlisting,â you said, caressing his face delicately.
âI guess I feel the same way everyone else does when theyâre about to enter the army,â he chuckled softly. âThereâs nothing very exciting about going, so I donât have much to say other than that Iâll miss you a lot.â
Now it was your turn to look at him with soft eyes, your lips forming a small pout as you nodded. âGod, Iâll miss you too,â you said, tightening your embrace. âCanât you justâI donât know, just not do it?â
âOh, so you mean if I were to simply refuse to comply with the countryâs laws, become a criminal, and have my face plastered all over the news so I can stay with you?â he raised an eyebrow.
You nodded. âPrecisely.â
He couldnât help but laugh at how bluntly you said it, straightening up so he could press his lips to yours in a sweet kiss that made you smile back.
âAs tempting as that is,â he paused briefly, âIâd rather not live the life of an outlaw.â
âWell,â you shrugged, âI think that would be a beautiful demonstration of love.â
Doyoung rolled his eyes and pulled you closer, once again sealing your lips in a simple peck before pulling away. âIâm pretty sure I can show you that in many other ways, hm?â he murmured, just a few centimeters from your face.
âLike faking your death and canceling your enlistment?â you whispered back, which earned you a deadpan look from him.
âLetâs not take it that far, shall we?â he chuckled, shaking his head. âInstead, I think we should enjoy the last hours we have left, right?â
âMmmh, I still prefer my idea,â you shrugged lightly, âbut I guess yours sounds fine too.â
âYes, strongly agree,â he leaned in again, cupping your face in his hands, tilting your head slightly and wasting no time before kissing you, his soft lips meeting yours in the same sweet way, even more tender than usual.
His tongue, just as delicately, traced along your lips, asking for permission, which you readily granted as you parted them and let his warm, wet tongue meet yours. Your hands, resting against his chest, gripped his shirt a little tighter, wrinkling the fabric beneath your fingers.
He pulled away just a little to look at you.
âBed?â he asked, a little breathless.
You nodded with a big smile.
âBed!â
He got up and took you along with him toward the bedroom, the short path filled with kisses and giggles until your back met the fluffy mattress, his tall figure hovering over you, not letting your tongue take a break while his hands wandered over your body.
None of his actions were rushed, the kisses, the touches, everything moved at the perfect pace. His fingers caressed your arms up and down gently, appreciatively, memorizing every inch of you. Soon, they slipped under your shirt, tracing your belly then squeezing your waist as his lips changed their path to your neck and down your cleavage, leaving behind a trail of warm, lingering kisses.
Your arms, which had previously been wrapped around his neck to keep him close, moved down to the hem of his shirt, slowly pulling it off. You hummed in satisfaction at the heavy sigh that left him the moment your hands met his bare skin.
Doyoungâs slender fingers found their way to your core after slipping past the barrier of your pants, immediately meeting the dampness on your panties. He rubbed firm, slow circles over your clothed cunt, the movement making both of you tremble.
âGonna miss this so bad,â he murmured against your chest, nibbling at your cleavage, already feeling himself growing uncomfortable in the tightness of his pants. He pulled his hand away from where you needed it most, making you whine in protest and earning a soft chuckle from him. âJust gonna clear our way, darling.â
He quickly worked on the buttons of your shirt, slipping it off with your help and leaving your breasts fully on display for him. The sight alone made his mouth water as he kissed his way down to the valley between them.
âYouâre so beautiful, my love,â he praised softly along the way, until he captured one of your breasts in his mouth. His warm tongue swirled slowly around your nipple, sucking the hardened bud gently and drawing sighs of pleasure from you.
His hands werenât idle either. While he enjoyed the feel of your soft mound against his tongue, he also worked your pants and panties down, having you lift your hips slightly so he could slide them off and let you finish the job by kicking them away.
He slid two digits through your folds, coating his fingers in your warm, sticky juices. The sensation made you moan softly and roll your hips down toward his hand, craving more friction.
Doyoung pulled away from your breast with a soft pop, the cold air hitting the damp spot he had left behind. Once again, he trailed kisses all over you, slowly working his way down your body, as if each one were meant to make sure you would remember both the sensation of having him touching you and his feelings for you, even when you were apart.
âDoyoung, can youâah, h-hurry up a little?â You looked down at him, your walls fluttering as he teased your entrance with the tip of his finger.
âNo need to rush, darling,â he laughed against your skin. âIâm almost there.â
He kept pressing kisses all over you as he made his way down your body, until he reached your thighs, sucking and biting at the sensitive inner flesh, inching closer and closer to the treasure between your legs.
He wasnât one to tease you for too long, so it didnât take long before the tip of his tongue was swirling around your clit. The sensation made your hips jolt upward in both pleasure and surprise, which prompted him to wrap his arms around your thighs and pull you back down, keeping you right where he wanted you.
âDidnât even start yet, donât try to run away like that,â he said before sucking hard on the sensitive bud, making you gasp and clutch the sheets tightly, your toes tingling from the intensity.
He darted his tongue out again and slowly dragged it down through your slick folds, collecting all of your wetness as he went, humming in satisfaction at the familiar taste in his mouth. The tip of his tongue teased your entrance, poking at it and making you instinctively try to close your legs, an effort that failed, since he was holding you open for him.
He pushed his tongue inside you while sucking at you at the same time, eating you out like a pro, as usual. Your back arched slightly off the bed, soft hums and moans slipping from your lips as you draped one arm over your eyes, completely lost in the physical pleasure he was giving you.
âY-yes⌠just like that,â your voice trembled as you pushed your hips down, craving even more from him.
Doyoungâs hands caressed every inch of you they could reach, never once letting up with his mouth, thrusting the wet muscle insistently into your tight little hole. The obscene, wet sounds were impossible to ignore as he made out with your cunt, devoted, like he wouldn't have the chance to have you like that ever again.
One of his hands left your legs to give your clit the attention it desperately needed, his thumb circling the sensitive nerve in the same slow rhythm as his mouth, building your tension patiently, the sounds you made for him alone like music in his ears and the perfect incentive he needed.
A few more strokes of his tongue, paired with the steady rubbing of your clit, and you could feel your body tensing up. A hot sensation pooled between your thighs before quickly rising, spreading through you in waves.
âGod, Iâm gonna cââ your breath hitched as the warm, white, sticky fluid spilled from your body, immediately welcomed by his waiting tongue, moaning as he licked you clean.
âThat was so hot, baby, you're so pretty,â he praised softly, continuing to give you light sucks and gentle kisses, helping you ride out your high. He only paused when you tugged him up toward you, eager to pull him into a kiss instead.
He melted instantly, letting you roll over him as he tugged at your hair, pulling you closer until your chests pressed together. He felt your hand stroking his cock through his pants, his moans swallowed by your mouth as you kissed him.
You tugged his clothes down and helped free him from them, his movements more desperate than heâd meant them to be. He almost whimpered when he felt your fingers wrap around his shaft, stroking up and down in slow, delicate motions, spreading his precum along his length.
âFeels that good?â you asked with a soft giggle when he hissed.
âFuck⌠you have no idea,â he muttered, biting down on his lower lip, nodding and whining when you gave him a gentle squeeze.
You let go of his cock and shifted to sit over it, rolling your hips back and forth so your folds brushed against him. The simple sensation of your slick lips dragging over his length was heavenly, making his cock twitch in anticipation, aching to be inside you.
His eyes shone when you lifted your upper body and rested your hands on his chest, clearly ready to give him exactly what he needed most in that moment. He shifted slightly, pushing himself up until he was almost sitting, his back resting against the headboard.
His breath grew heavy as he watched you lift your hips slightly, guiding his cock to your entrance. His mouth fell open in a perfect o the moment you sank down on him, a strained, broken sound tearing from deep in his throat as he felt your walls close around him, tight, warm, and fitting him perfectly.
He wrapped his arms around you, holding you tightly as he buried his face in your neck, breathing you in, letting himself be filled with you. His head spun, emotions overwhelming enough that he honestly felt like he could cry.
âGod, I love you,â he whimpered, pressing soft kisses to your skin, your name spilling from his lips when you rolled your hips just a little. His voice was muffled against your neck. âSo⌠so much.â
You couldnât help but chuckle between your own quiet moans, your walls fluttering around him at the sweetness of the confession.
âI love you too,â you replied, beginning to move on his lap, lifting yourself slowly, then sinking back down. A soft whimper escaped you when your clit brushed against him, still too sensitive from your previous orgasm.
His moans didnât echo through the room only because his face was buried deep in the crook of your neck, unwilling to pull away from you even for a second. One of your arms circled his shoulders while your other hand pressed against the back of his head, keeping him close as you rode him.
âLove you so much,â he mumbled, breath hitching every time his cock met the softness inside you. âG-gonna miss you so bad, baby.â
It didnât take long at all to reduce him to a blabbering mess, murmured I love yous, whispered confessions about how perfect you were to him, how he didnât deserve you, how he couldnât imagine leaving without you. Sweet nothings spilled endlessly from his lips as you carried him straight to paradiseâand it wasnât even an exaggeration, he was incapable of being normal when it came to you.
Feeling his climax approaching, he began to thrust his hips up to meet you halfway. His movements grew sloppy, desperate and erratic, losing strength with every push. His head fell back as his balls tightened heavily, and he didnât even need to say a word. He was always so sensitive, so expressive, it was easy to tell when he was about to come.
With one last sink down, he spilled inside you, hot spurts pulling a broken sound from his open mouth, his voice lost to the intensity of his orgasm. His body went limp beneath you, completely spent. You leaned down against him as well, just as exhausted, his arms slipping around your waist in a loose, comforting hold while you both struggled to catch your breath.
Doyoung was soon peppering countless kisses on your your shoulder, trapping you in a tight hug that drew soft giggles from your lips.
âIs it safe to say Iâm seriously considering deserting?â he asked, raising a brow as you pulled back just enough to look at him, a smirk tugging at your mouth.
âWell,â you replied lightly, wiggling your eyebrows and making him laugh, âI can make a few callsâŚâ
âYeah, nevermind,â he pulled the blankets up around you both. âWhen you give me that look, I know itâs a bad idea.â
âWhat?!â you protested. âIâve traced a few really good plans, okay?â
âLike faking my death?â he asked, gently brushing strands of hair away from your face.
âThatâs just one of them,â you shrugged. âGlad you didnât forget. Itâs still on the table.â
âAlright, alright, my crime queen,â he chuckled softly. âSeems like we both need some rest, right?â
Your expression mirrored his happy, content one as you smiled back at him, soft and tender.
âYou need to come back quickly, DoyoungâŚâ
âOf course, darling,â he said, pressing a kiss to your forehead. âIâll be back to you in no time.â
â taglist: @skyefiles, @spacejip, @peterm4rker, @sinisxtea, @bluedbliss
âGIVE ME THATâ
pairing: matchmaker! xiaojun x client! reader | genre: rom-com | words: 42k+
synopsis -> after successfully playing cupid for his friend, mark lee, xiaojun decides heâs basically a love expert. so what does he do? start a side hustle â offering the services of the self-proclaimed, 100% success rate, campus matchmaker. weeks of radio silence later, his first (and only) client calls â you. youâre exhausted from a string of situationships that never seem to graduate into actual relationships, and maybe, just maybe, this ridiculous âlove expertâ could help. but after a couple sessions, you start to suspect that xiaojunâs little matchmaking gig isnât quite what it seems.
warnings -> guaranteeing a love story that will make you laugh! pet name unlocked: honey, frat parties, jealousy, reader is kinda sadistic, but really sheâs just a #womaninmaledominatedfields, third-parties, insecurities, a slap!, ghosting, +18, crude humor, language, parties, drinking, smut! guided fingering, oral (f receiving, a lot), face-sitting, handcuffs!, a little bit of a pain/begging kink but itâs never mentioned outright, blowjobs, overstimulation!, nipple-play!!!!!, tit-fucking, boobie-obsessed xiaojun, slight! thigh riding, slight! cum-play, xiaojun is a needy, whiny sub who will cry at his womanâs touch!!!, and he loves loves loves pleasing her, oh! and heâs kinda a virgin! dry humping, protected sex, crying during sex, rough sex, mentions of: murder, blood, theft, true crime, pregnancy, condoms, a safe word
an -> loverboy xiaojun is surprisingly here and all yours!! if youâve been following my blog, you know i kinda hit a stump in the middle of writing this. it literally was my worst writers block of the year, but hey, shit happens and i think i like this! i do feel like i rushed some parts but man this is already 42k so idk, maybe thatâs just me. i hope you like it!! please do let me know <3 iâll be patiently waiting for your reactions! - with love, c.
đŻ OCTOBER 5 - LOVE GUARANTEED đŻ
the flyer practically fell out like a planted piece of evidence. you blinked down at it, the paper slipping from between pages of book youâd just checked out, 127 techniques of crime scene investigation. when you unfolded it, you nearly laughed out loud, a photo of a couple you recognized immediately â mark lee and kitten. one of the dream couples. everyone knew who they were. the happily-ever-after shoved in your face at parties, in the cafeteria, on social media. in this shot, she was glowing, mid-laugh while he was holding her like she was the only thing that mattered. disgustingly perfect. above their glowing smiles, in large, bold, all capital letters:
DO YOU WANT TO FIND A LOVE LIKE THIS?
below the photo, a promise that was almost too confident:
LET ME, YOUR FAVORITE MATCHMAKER, GIVE YOU THAT!
and at the bottom:
CALL 127-808-1999 FOR LOVE GUARANTEED â 100% SUCCESS RATE!
that was it. no name. no logo. no credentials. just a number and the bold assurance that you, too, could have a mark and kitten level romance if you dialed it. you turned the flyer over, half-expecting a price list but the back was blank. which begged the obvious question: who was behind this? why hide it in library books like some sort of underground love-dealer? and did the dream couple have any idea theyâd been plastered on what looked like a matchmaking scam poster? probably not. you couldnât picture them greenlighting anything that used comic sans this shamelessly. you shouldâve tossed it in the recycling bin on your way out. you really shouldâve. but instead, you slid it into your tote bag, half-hidden between your lab notebook and a pack of highlighters. not because you believed in it. please. you werenât that naive. but because you wereâŚtired. tired of situationships that fizzled the second things got complicated. tired of being somebodyâs âalmostâ or âpractice round.â tired of pretending you didnât want more when you absolutely did. and maybe, just maybe, whoever the person behind this actually can change things for you? but still. you werenât going to callâŚright?
đŻ OCTOBER 12 â THE MATCHMAKER đŻ
a week later, you were two glasses of cheap wine deep in an existential crisis. twenty-something now and still no official boyfriend to your name. not one. sure, there had been situationships and flings. plural. but none that made it out of the trial phase. were your standards really that high? or were you just cursed? your head tipped back against your pillow with a groan, the ceiling spinning ever so slightly. and then, through the pleasant fuzz of tipsiness, a memory surfaced â the flyer. you dug around for it, fingers brushing past pens, lab notes, and gum wrappers until you felt the edge of the paper. you smoothed it out against your thigh and grinned to yourself, the reckless kind that only came out after wine.
âfor fun,â you muttered, inserting the numbers into your phone. pure curiosity. a prank on yourself, basically. there was no way this was real and someone was actually going to answer â except. someone did.
â...hello?â a manâs voice, slightly confused, like he wasnât sure why his phone was ringing in the first place. you blinked, momentarily thrown, âuh. hi. iâm calling aboutâŚthe matchmaking service?â there was a pause, the kind where you could almost hear the wheels turning on the other end. you stared at your phone, half-convinced you were being scammed, half-ready to laugh yourself to sleep. because apparently, the anonymous âcampus matchmakerâ wasnât just real â he was a guy who clearly hadnât expected anyone to actually call. and then, suddenly, the voice lit up, bright with recognition and far too much enthusiasm for your liking, âoh! waitâyes, thatâs me!â
you squinted at your ceiling, lips quirking, âyouâre the matchmaker?â
âyes. correct. thatâs me.â he cleared his throat, as if rearranging himself into professional mode, âcongratulations, youâve reached theâŚuhâŚexclusive love consultant ofâŚâ he trailed off for a second, like he was just coming up with everything on the spot, â...of your dreams.â
you burst out laughing, âwow, real smooth. do you have, like, a license for this or are you just freelancing your way through other peopleâs personal lives?â
âiâmâŚindependent,â he said, which was exactly the kind of answer people gave right before you discovered they were running a pyramid scheme.âindependent,â you echoed, fighting a grin, âsoâŚno training? no degree in psychology or relationship counseling? no certification that says youâre not just a scammer with a printer?â
âhey!â he protested, âiâll have you know my first clients are successfully thriving. one year strong, in fact.â you frowned, brain ticking, âyou mean that couple you plastered on the flyer?â
âyes! iâm sure you know who they areâŚthey have me to thank for getting together,â he says, voice smug even through the phone.
âdo they even know you used their photo?â
silence. then, sheepishly, â...they might not be aware of that part.â
âyou realize they could sue you, right?â
another beat of silence on the other end. then, in a voice that was trying very hard to sound confident again, âokay, look, legalities asideâŚdo you want my help or not?â you snorted, rolling onto your side, phone pressed closer to your ear, âwhat exactly is your help? are you gonna run a background check on potential boyfriends?â
âbackground checks arenât a bad idea,â he muttered, almost to himself. then, louder, âbut no. what i do isâŚiâŚobserve. i get to know you and then i observe how you are with others. and then iâŚconnect the dots. itâs very scientific.â
âscientific,â you repeated flatly, your forensic instincts tingling, âso your whole method is stalking with extra steps?â
ânot stalking! more likeâŚactive field research.â
you couldnât help it, you laughed again, warm and tipsy, âthis is ridiculous,â you sigh, not even sure why you were still entertaining the idea. âand yet,â he shot back, âyou called me. which means you must need me at least a little.â that shut you up for a beat because he wasnât entirely wrong. your eyes drifted to the flyer again. that stupid, too confident question glaring up at you: DO YOU WANT TO FIND A LOVE LIKE THIS? maybe you were ridiculous too.
âso, whatâs your deal? whyâd you call?â his voice rang through your room again, breaking you out of your thoughts. you hesitated, staring at your ceiling. the wine was humming warm in your veins and loosening your tongue, âbecause iâm in my twenties and apparently my standards are so high no one can meet them. or maybe the dating pool is just trash. either wayââ you snorted at yourself, âi found your flyer in a library book and took it as a sign soâŚhere we are.â he made a thoughtful noise, âwell, the universe does work in mysterious ways.â
you giggled at that, âokay, fine, matchmaker man,â you teased, âwhatâs the next step? are you going to send me a google form?â
âno forms,â he said, like the idea personally offended him, âwe do this face-to-face. again, observation is key. i need to see how you talk, how you move, how you act. itâs a whole algorithm.â
you giggled, âthatâs not an algorithm, thatâs just you eyeballing me like a weirdo.â
âlook,â he said, not letting your comments get to him, voice still as bright as ever, âif youâre serious about this, letâs do a consultation. tomorrow. 6 p.m. in person. you bring yourself, iâll bring my expertise.â
you raised an eyebrow, âwhere?â there was a pause, then he rattled off a location that made you sit up. âwaitâŚyou want me to meet you in the abandoned basement in the old film wing? thatâs basically a crime scene waiting to happen.â
âitâs not a crime scene,â he said, defensive, âitâs quiet, private, great for assessments.â
âitâs sketchy and iâm going to die.â
âitâs convenient and how do i know youâre not the killer?â
you sighed, flopping back onto your bed, âyou realize how this sounds, right? youâre asking me to walk into a deserted area to meet a stranger whose real name i donât even know.â
âplease, itâs not that deserted, people make-out in there all the time,â he points out, ââand i told you my name.â
âno, you didnât.â
âoh,â a beat, âwell, iâm xiaojun.â
âokay xiaojun,â you say, âif i get murdered, iâm haunting you.â
âdeal,â he said cheerfully, âso weâre on for tomorrow?â you stared at the ceiling again. this was reckless. this was the kind of decision sober you would never make. and yet â âfine.â you said, half-laughing, half-resigned, âtomorrow. if youâre not there with a clipboard and a legitimate plan, iâm leaving.â
âiâll be there,â he promised. you hung up, dropping your phone onto your pillow and laughing at the ceiling. you were almost sure youâd just agreed to your own murder.
đŻ OCTOBER 13 â THE INVESTIGATION đŻ
you spent the whole day convincing yourself you werenât going. that the conversation last night was just one huge mistake. a drunk call because you were bored and lonely. it was absurd. meeting a self-appointed love consultant in an abandoned basement was how podcasts started their true-crime episodes. but by 5:50 p.m. you were at the edge of the stairwell that led down to the location. the metal door was half-open, a weak strip of light spilling out. it smelled faintly of dust and photo chemicals, like a ghost of its past. you checked your phone again. you could still text âsorryâ and go home. but then, your curiosity, the same reckless streak that had you digging out that flyer last night, bubbled up.
âjust five minutes,â you muttered to yourself, âiâll look, see what kind of freak he is and leave.â you pushed the door open. the stairs groaned under your sneakers as you descended. down here, it was cooler. you half-expected flickering fluorescent lights and ominous dripping pipes. instead, there were old film canisters stacked along the walls, dusty bulletin boards, a couple of forgotten stools â and him. he was leaning against one of the old metal tables, scrolling on his phone. not a hooded creep or a forty-year-old catfisher â just a guy in a worn university sweatshirt and black jeans. his hair fell into his eyes in that art-student way. his jawline looked carved out of spite. you stopped a few steps from the bottom, âxiaojun?â
he looked up â and your stomach dipped. through the phone, heâd sounded awkward and overeager. in person, he looked like the kind of guy youâd normally side-eye at a party because he was too good-looking and exactly your type. he straightened immediately, tucking his phone away, âyou came.â
âi almost didnât,â you crossed your arms, scanning the room like you were cataloguing evidence â one exit, one man, no obvious weapons. âthis is exactly where my professors tell us not to go alone.â
he winced a little, âi swear i picked it because itâs quiet. all the study rooms are booked.â
you raised an eyebrow, âuh-huh, and why are you even doing this? whatâs in it for you?â
he grinned like heâd been waiting for that question, âfirst things first,â he said, clapping his hands once, âwhatâs your name? i mean, you know mine but we never did proper introductions.â
you hesitated for a beat, weighing whether this was still a mistake, then sighed, ây/n, fourth year, forensic science major.â
his brows lifted, amused, âforensic science? that explains a lot.â
âexcuse me?â
âthe suspicion. the scanning. the way you keep looking at the exit,â he teased, lips twitching, âyouâre treating this like a crime scene.â
you tilted your head, âiâm not ruling out that it isnât one yet.â his laugh came out low and warm, echoing faintly against the concrete walls, not mocking, but edged with something amused, âwow,â he said leaning back on the table, arms folding loosely across his chest, âyou really donât trust people, huh?â
âdefinitely not ones who invite strangers into abandoned basements,â you say. that earned another small laugh. for a moment, he just looked at you â like he was quietly trying to read your whole story from the way you stood â your arms were crossed, feet angled toward the exit, chin tilted in that stubborn, defiant way. it felt like he was peeling back layers you didnât know you were wearing.
finally, he sighed, half-grinning, âall right, detective y/n, full disclosure â iâm xiaojun, music major. iâm not a scammer, not recruiting for a cult and i definitely donât own a white van. i just thought this would be fun. thatâs it. plus the extra cash wouldnât hurt.â
you tilted your head, âyou seriously think iâm going to pay for this? you havenât even proven that it worksâŚyou haveâwhat? one successful couple.â
he shrugged, nonchalant, âi never said i just had one successful couple.â
âalright then, what are the names of the others? proof? references?â you asked, tone flat.
his grin flickered, just slightly, âconfidential.â
âhow convenient.â
âlook, if you donât believe meââ
âoh, i donât,â you cut in smoothly, âiâm just here to confirm whether i should report you or nominate you for campus clown of the year.â
he blinked, then laughed under his breath, shaking his head, âwell, arenât you as sweet as honey.â you rolled your eyes, lips threatening to curl despite yourself. âfine,â he said, hands raised like a peace sign, âfirst consultation is free, you can leave whenever you want.â
you huffed, half-annoyed, half-intrigued and maybe a little curious about what heâd say next. âall right, mr. matchmaker,â you muttered, tone still laced with sarcasm, dragging out the stool across from him and sitting down, âimpress me.â
his grin widened âwith pleasure.â then he reached his phone out from his back pocket, opening his notes app. you raise a brow, watching him, âwow, very professional setup youâve got there.â
âthank you,â he said, completely serious, thumbs poised over the screen, âso,â he said, âletâs start simple. how many boyfriends have you had?â
ânone.â
his fingers hovered over his keyboard, ânone?â
you crossed your arms, ânone that count. if weâre not talking high school delusions or two week talking stages, then yeah. zero.â
he nodded slowly, thoughtful, âokay, cool. thatâs fineâŚwhat are you looking for, then?â
âa man,â you said simply.
he chuckled, âgood start. what kind of man?â
âa man whoâs obsessed with me,â you said without hesitation.
his brows lifted slightly, nodding, like youâd said something perfectly reasonable, âdefine obsessed.â
âlike... does everything i want without me having to say it because he pays attention. maybe gets a little jealous sometimes â not in a toxic way, just enough to prove he cares. a man who reassures me that iâm the one he wants. every day.â
he typed as you spoke, lips twitching. âokay. obsessed but emotionally stable. got it.â
âand he should be taller than me,â you added, âbut not so tall that my neck will break looking up at him.â
âreasonable.â
âhe has to be smart. someone i can have conversations with. i like them a little nerdy.â
âmhm,â he taps his screen, âthatâs a good one.â
âand he should smell good, like cedarâŚand vanilla.â
he paused, glancing up from his phone, âokay, that oneâs oddly specific, but go on.â
âand if he says one thing i donât like, weâre done.â
his mouth twitched, âyou walk away that fast?â
âfaster,â you said, âi donât have time for disappointment. heâs either contributing to the peace iâve built or heâs gone. simple as that.â
âso basically,â he said, locking his phone and setting it aside, âyou want someone who worships you, never messes up, and smells like mr. perfect.â
you smirked, âexactly.â
he smiled faintly, leaning forward on his elbows. âokay then i conclude thatââ he said with that maddening confidence back in his eyes, âyour standards arenât impossible. just... selective. youâre the type who tests people to see if theyâll stay.â you stared at him, thrown off by how casually he said it â like he hadnât just dissected you in one sentence. then he straightened, slipping his phone into his pocket, and said with a grin, âguess we just need to find you a real man.â you frowned, partly defensive, âand whatâs a real man supposed to be like?â
he shrugged, like the answer was obvious. âone that can handle you. one who wonât scare off the moment you test him.â and for the first time since youâd met him, you didnât have a comeback.
đŻ OCTOBER 16 â JUST LIKE HONEY đŻ
it was one of those friday nights when the entire campus felt like it was pulsing to the same bass line. you could hear it from halfway down the block â the riize house was alive, lights bleeding through the windows, the air thick with cheap beer and cologne. you smoothed out your black strapless dress before stepping inside. simple. lethal. heads turned the moment you entered, guys mid-conversation trailing off, girls whispering something under their breath. you werenât oblivious to it. you just didnât care. because the momentary hush that followed you wasnât admiration â it was intimidation. people looked, but no one approached. you spotted xiaojun near the kitchen, half-perched on the counter, red cup in hand, like he owned the place. he was mid-conversation with someone when he glanced up â and promptly lost his train of thought. his hand jerked slightly, sloshing a bit of beer onto his sleeve, âshitâ,â he muttered, looking down before flicking right back up at you, eyes widening just a little, âwow.â
you stopped a few steps away, one brow raised, âwhat?â he blinked, trying to recover, running a hand through his hair like that would somehow reset him, ânothing, justâŚ,â his voice trailed off as he rubbed the back of his neck, âyou actually showed up.â
âwell, this is still part of your free consultation, isn't?â you said, crossing your arms, voice cutting through the bass-heavy music, âsomething about observing how i interact with male specimens in a social environment.â he coughed, suddenly finding the rim of his cup very interesting, âright. yeah. something like that.â for someone whoâd spent the last two days texting you about his elite matchmaking strategies, he looked like heâd just forgotten every one of them. you smirked, âyou okay there, cupid?â
âfine,â he said too quickly, then forced a small, overly casual shrug, feigning nonchalance, âyou just, uhâŚlook nice.â
âis that supposed to be a compliment?â you say, lips twitching into a smirk.
âitâs a factual observation,â he said, voice almost steady again. you tilted your head, amused, âfactual observation noted.â
he cleared his throat, straightening like he was back in control, âanyway,â he said, gesturing toward the living room, âcome on, i want you to meet someone.â you arched a brow, âyouâre setting me upâŚtonight?â
âyep,â his confidence returned, or at least his imitation of it did. âthatâs eunseok â third year, business major, part of the riize fraternity, decent gpa, tall but not too tall. statistically speaking, exactly your type.â he nodded toward a guy across the room â clean-cut, charming smile, every detail of him polished to perfection, âheâs the human embodiment of a man,â xiaojun added, too proud of his phrasing as he nudges you along with him. you shot him a look, âyouâre kidding.â
âno time like the present,â he said breezily. you sighed but followed anyway, curiosity outweighing your skepticism. and thatâs when he led you straight to his friend. xiaojunâs âintroductionâ was a disaster from the start. his voice cracked halfway through your name, his hand gestures made no sense, and by the time he stepped back, both you and eunseok looked vaguely confused. eunseok, though, recovered fast, frat-boy reflexes kicking in. he smiled, smooth and practiced. âsoâŚthis is the girl youâve been talking about.â xiaojun nodded a little too enthusiastically, like a parent at a recital. eunseok extended his hand. âi can see why. youâre gorgeous.â
you looked at his hand, then back at his face, âthanks, iâm aware.â
his smile wavered but he kept the act up, âconfident. i like that.â
it takes every ounce of you not to roll your eyes, âgood for you.â
xiaojun made a choking sound behind his drink. eunseok, to his credit, laughed, though it didnât quite reach his eyes, âyouâre sharp.â
âand youâre predictable.â
âiâll take that as a challenge.â
âyou really shouldnât.â
his smile tightened, âyou donât make this easy, do you?â
âiâm not supposed to,â you said, voice silk over steel, leaning back against the wall, âif itâs easy then itâs boring. isnât that what you all say?â eunseokâs eyes flickered, probably trying to decide whether you were flirting or eviscerating him. before he could decide, you added, âyouâre trying too hard.â
he blinked, âtrying toâ?â
âto seem like someone worth talking too.â that was the kill shot. eunseok laughed â that empty, frat-boy charm laugh they do even though nothing is funny. then he muttered something about getting another drink before backing off, his charming mask officially cracked. as soon as he was out of earshot, you turned to xiaojun, who was blinking at you like heâd just witnessed a murder, âwhat?â you asked, unfazed. he exhaled, âokay, wow. that wasââ
âdisastrous?â
âeducational,â he said, choosing optimism like it was a defense mechanism, âyou really donât mess around.â
âi told you,â you said, swirling your drink, âif i donât like something, i walk away.â
âyeah, but usually people wait until after the small talk before detonating the interaction.â
âiâm efficient.â
he let out a low laugh, rubbing the back of his neck again, âwhat did you not like about him anyway?â
âhe was trying too hard to act cool,â you shrug.
xiaojun nodded slowly, like he was writing mental notes for a dissertation. âright. okay. round one didnât go so great, but research takes time.â
âsure,â you said, deadpan, hiding a smirk behind your cup.
âand your first feedback,â he said carefully, ânext time, maybe be a little sweeter?âyou tilted your head, eyes glinting. âwhatâŚlike honey?â his grin spread, all boyish and crooked, relief slipping into his voice. âexactly. just like honey.â
đŻ OCTOBER 17 - CONFIDENCEâŚ? đŻ
âalright, honey,â xiaojun starts, clapping his hands together like a coach before a game, âday two, letâs do this.â
you stare at him, deadpan, âwhatâs with the nickname?â he smirks, leaning against the doorframe of the wayv house, the bass already thumping through the walls, âthereâs power in our words.â
âand whatâs that supposed to mean?â you ask, crossing your arms, âyouâre going to keep calling me honey, hoping it manifests me into becoming sweeter?â
âexactly,â he says, grinning. you blink at him, âthatâs not how manifestation works.â
âsays who?â he shrugs, âsometimes, you just gotta have trust in the universe.â you roll your eyes, fighting a laugh, âand thatâs supposed to inspire trust in your clients?â
âplease,â he says, mock-offended, âconfidence is half of attraction. if you look like you know what youâre doing, people believe you do.â
âso you admit, you donât actually know what youâre doing?â you tease. he pauses, smirk twitching, âno further questions.â the music inside swells, the kind of party soundtrack that smells like beer, smoke and questionable decisions. you both linger on the porch a second longer, partly because heâs still rambling through his so-called strategy. âalright,â he says finally, straightening up like this is serious business, âtonightâs focus â eye contact.â
you raise a brow, âgroundbreaking.â
âand posture,â he adds, unfettered, âyou walk into a room like you already own it.â
âi already do that.â
âsee?â he points at you like youâve just proved his point, âperfect. now the next step isââ
âlet me guess,â you interrupt, âsmile more?â
he lights up, âyes! exactly.â you sigh dramatically, âthis is what i get for trusting a man who printed posters in comic sans.â
âit was arial rounded â itâs friendlier,â he defends, pretending to be offended, but you can see the corner of his mouth fighting a smile. âlook, honey, you called for my matchmaking service and this is where we start.â
âstop calling me that.â
âcanât. part of the process.â you roll your eyes but follow him inside anyways, the two of you swallowed by flashing lights and the hum of laughter. xiaojun looks far too pleased with himself, weaving through the crowd, pointing out random people and whispering terrible, terrible suggestions in your ear. âtry that one,â he nods discreetly toward a guy leaning against the wall, âheâs giving approachable golden retriever energy.â
âxiaojun, heâs wearing a cowboy hat. i already donât like that.â
âremember what i said before,â he nudges you towards the guy, âsmall talk first before you blow it up.â you sigh, squaring your shoulders, âfine. iâll try the cowboy.â
âthatâs the spirit," he says, looking proud already. you took a deep breath, mostly for show, then started walking. each step a little too deliberate, too self-aware. xiaojun, of course, trailed behind like a coach about to witness either victory or complete social collapse. the cowboy turned out to be tall, broad-shouldered, with a hat tilted just enough to suggest confidence. he introduced himself as yunho with a smirk on his lips like heâd been waiting for this moment all night. âyou new around here?â he drawled, voice deep, the kind of tone that probably worked on half the campus. you blinked, ânew?â
âyeah,â he said, tipping his hat, âi wouldâve remembered you.â behind you, xiaojunâs whisper came through like the worldâs worst earpiece, âflatter him back. guys love that.â you resisted the urge to glance at him before forcing a polite smile at yunho, âyouâreâŚuh, very observant.â
âthanks," he said, grin widening, âitâs a gift.â
âoh god,â you muttered, just loud enough for xiaojun to sigh. yunho leaned a little closer, clearly misinterpreting your silence as shyness, âsoâŚwhatâs your name, gorgeous?â you gave him your name. he said something about how it was pretty. xiaojun was beaming like a proud parent, whispering again, âokay, now ask him a question. show interest. something flirty but casual.â you inhaled sharply. fine. you could do this âso,â you said, smiling sweetly, âdo you always dress like youâre about to lasso someone or is tonight special?â
ęˇęŚ
later that night, the crowd has thinned just enough for the air to feel breathable again. you and xiaojun have retreated to a quieter corner of the wayv fratâs backyard, string lights flickering above like theyâre about to give out. âsee?â he says, a little too smugly as he sips from his cup, âyou survived cowboy yunho.â you give him a flat look, âbarely. he called his hat a personality trait. xiaojun laughs, bright and unbothered, âhey, progress is progress, at least he didnât walk away with an excuse this time.â
âyeah,â you muttered, âinstead he spent twenty minutes telling me about the symbolism of leather.â
âthatâsâŚconversation,â he says, trying to keep a straight face, ânext time you canââ before he can finish his sentence, a girl approaches â glossy hair, easy smile and confidence that fills the space before she even speaks. she looks straight at xiaojun, cup in hand, grin sharp and sure.
âhey,â she says, leaning a little closer to be heard over the bass, âyouâre xiaojun, right? iâve seen you around.â you glance at him from the corner of your eye, expecting him to handle it. heâs charming enough, right? all talk about confidence and posture, walking into a room like he owns it. except â he doesnât say anything. for a second too long. âoh, uh, yeah,â he stammers, âthatâsâŚthatâs me.âyou take a sip of your drink to hide your smirk. she laughs softly like she finds his awkwardness endearing, âi thought so, you looked familiar. you do theater?â
ânoâuh, not really. i mean, sometimes. notâuh, not officially.â you blink. what does that even mean? youâre either in theater or youâre not. but she nods, polite, still smiling, âright. wellâŚi like your shirt.â he looks down like its the first time heâs noticed it, âoh, uhâŚthanks. itâsâŚcotton.â you almost choke on your drink. oh my god. how is he, supposed love expert, fumbling a pretty girl this badly? she giggles, mildly entertained and also at a loss for words, âthatâsâŚnice.â the girl just smiles again, as if sheâs realized she was carrying this conversation all by herself and gives a little wave before awkwardly drifting off towards the house, leaving him standing there, half-frozen, red cup still halfway to his lips. for a moment, you just watch him. he straightens, clears his throat and glances back at you like nothing happened. âanyway,â he says casually, voice a little too even, âwhere were we?â you tilt your head, lips twitching, but you say nothing.
he nods once, adjusting his shirt like itâs some kind of reset button, âright. eye contact, posture, confidence.â you hum, pretending to think, âmhm. got it.â he grins, just a bit too smug again â maybe trying to convince himself more than you. âsee?â he says, gesturing vaguely toward the crowd, âsmoothness is all about timing. gotta know when to say the right thing.â you sip your drink again, fighting the laugh that threatens to slip out. âsure,â you say evenly, âtiming.â he flashes you a wink, cocky and oblivious, and turns back toward the crowd like the universe hasnât just witnessed his catastrophic attempt at flirting. you donât call him out. not yet. but the smirk tugging at your lips says everything.
đŻ OCTOBER 18 - A FLUKE đŻ
another night, another party. by now, youâd start recognizing the pattern â lights too bright, music too loud, drinks too cheap and xiaojun too confident for someone whoâd already had two nights of failed attempts. âhoney,â he said, flashing that same grin, as you walked into the dream fraternity house together, âday three, i can feel it. tonightâs the night.â
you gave him a look, âyou said that yesterday.â he beamed, unbothered, âdonât doubt the expert.â you didnât have the heart to tell him the only thing he seemed to be an expert at was public embarrassment. so for the first thirty minutes, you humored his latest âtechniquesâ â something about âstrategic proximityâ and âanchoring with laughter.â you werenât sure if he was quoting a psychology textbook or recalling something he read from twitter, but you tried. you really did. you stood near the people he pointed out. you even attempted small talk. until you couldnât anymore.
âi need a break,â you muttered, setting your cup down. xiaojun nodded, misinterpreting it completely, âperfect. breaks create mystery. build tension. make them miss you.â
you groaned, âiâm literally just going to the bathroom.â he gave a knowing wink, âexactly. absence makes the heart grow fonder.â
you turned away before you could say something youâd regret, shaking your head as you weaved through the crowd. you didnât even know why you were still here, still entertaining this ridiculous matchmaking experiment that had already proven itself a disaster. maybe it was the boredom. or the cheap beer. or the fact that your love life had been one long string of almosts that never went anywhere. or maybe, maybe, it was because, as stupid as this all was â xiaojun was a fun distraction from your own quiet, lonesome melancholy. he was ridiculous, sure. infuriatingly optimistic. borderline delusional about his âcareer.â but he made you laugh. he made you feel like things wereâŚpossible. you sighed, pushing the thought aside as you slipped down the hallway where it was quieter, a pocket of calm carved out from the chaos of the main room. the music dulled into a muffled thump, replaced by the low hum of voices and the occasional door creak. you could finally hear yourself think. maybe too much. you werenât even halfway to the bathroom when a familiar voice called out, bright over the noise, ây/n?! hey!â you turned, blinking in surprise â kitten, mark leeâs girlfriend, was heading toward you, hand laced with his.
âhiii,â you said, smiling automatically, you werenât expecting her to even remember you, âwow, itâs been a while. i havenât seen you since⌠first year, right? that intro to film elective?â her eyes lit up with recognition, âyeah, the one with the terrible professor who always showed us his short films.âyou laughed, the memory instantly resurfacing, âoh my god, right. he even had a soundtrack for each one.â mark chuckled beside her, glancing between the two of you. unlike kitten, youâd never spoken to him before. but he seemed just as easygoing as people always said he was. then kitten tilted her head, âwait, what are you doing here? i donât think iâve ever seen you at one of these before.â
âyeah, no, not really my scene,â you admitted, âim justâŚuhâŚhere with xiaojun.â
markâs eyebrows shot up, âxiaojun? like our xiaojun?â you nodded, trying not to react at their shared expression, âyeah. heâs, umâhelping me⌠meet people.â
kittenâs eyes sparkled with curiosity, âhelping you meet people? as inââ she leaned in, teasing, âare you guys dating?â
âohâŚno,â you said quickly laughing, ânothing like that. heâs justâŚhe said he was trying to set me up with someone.â
âohhh,â kitten said, exchanging a look with mark. one that already made your stomach twist with suspicion.
âyeah,â you shrugged, âhe mentioned he set you two up so i figured he knew what he was doing.â
thatâs when it happened â they both burst out laughing. you blinked, âwhat? why are you laughing?â mark tried to rein it in, but it was hopeless, âoh manâhe still says that?â kitten covered her mouth, giggling, âokay, wait, so, funny story. xiaojun didnât set us up.â
âwhat?â
âhe thought he did,â she said, âbut we were already a thing before that party.â mark nodded, smiling in that soft, sheepish way that only made it worse â or better, depending on your level of secondhand embarrassment. âyeah. i get why he thinks he did, though. he introduced us âformallyâ that night, i guess. but weâd already known each other for years. by then, i was already completely gone for her,â he glanced at his girlfriend, his smile softening. kitten met his eyes, squeezing his hand, her smile all warmth and affection. âhe really was,â she said quietly, eyes soft, both of them still smiling like they were in their own little world. looking exactly like they did in the poster. you just stood there, blinking, processing.
so. xiaojunâs one and only âsuccess story.â his proudest case study. his whole career pitch â was a fluke. you bit the inside of your cheek, trying not to laugh, âwow,â you said finally, voice even, âthatâsâŚgood to know.â
kitten nodded, still grinning. âhe means well, though. heâs justâŚnot the best at reading people sometimes. so maybe donât take everything he says too seriously.â
âoh, donât worry,â you said, your tone light, playful, âi think iâve figured that out.â you excused yourself to the bathroom, your lips twitching the entire way there. the hallway seemed brighter now, maybe because you were barely holding in a laugh. you had a secret. your matchmaker wasnât really a matchmaker at all. and now that you knew that, you werenât planning to quit his little experiment. no. now you wanted to see just how far the expert could go before realizing his grand love enterprise was built on pure coincidence. this was going to beâŚfun.
đŻ OCTOBER 19 - PRACTICE STARTS NOW đŻ
you let xiaojun live in his delusion for a little more, humoring his self-appointed role as matchmaker extraordinaire. but when you woke up this morning, youâd already made a decision. if your matchmaker wasnât really one at allâŚmaybe it was time to test just how much of an expert he really was. so you sent him a text:
y/n: come over. we need to talk.
he showed up twenty minutes later, hair a little messy, hoodie half-zipped, backpack slung over one shoulder, expression somewhere between casual and curious. you opened the door, leaning casually against the frame, dressed in nothing but a loose tank top and a pair of cotton shorts. it wasnât intentional, youâd just been lounging around before he came but the way he froze in the doorway told you maybe it wasnât entirely unintentional either. his eyes widened just a fraction, a tiny glitch in his composure, before he cleared his throat and forced a grin.
âhey,â he said, pretending not to notice your lack of clothing, voice steady but a touch higher than usual, âwhatâs up?â you stepped aside, motioning him in. he kicked his shoes off by the door and followed you into the living room, setting his bag down and looking around before settling awkwardly at the edge of the couch, âokay,â he said, trying to sound businesslike, âwhat do we need to talk about?â
you crossed your arms, taking a seat from your armchair across from him, âyou.â his brows furrowed, âme?â you nodded slowly, âiâve been thinking about yourâŚmatchmaking methods.â
âahh,â he said, brightening immediately, âconstructive feedback. iâm all for that. whatâd you think? too advanced for beginners?â
you gave him a flat look, âno, xiaojun. i was wondering if you can actually flirt.â that shut him up. his mouth opened, probably to say something smart, but nothing came out. his confidence faltered for the briefest second before he laughed it off, âof course i can. why would you evenââ
you tilted your head, cutting him off, âbecause iâve seen you with a woman.â
he blinked, âexcuse me?â
âat the party,â you said plainly, âthat girl who tried talking to you? you turned into an embarrassing mess.â
âokay, ouch,â he muttered, âthatâs harsh.â
âam i wrong?â
he hesitated, âno. but that wasâŚdifferent. i wasnât trying to flirt.â you raised an eyebrow, âthen try now.â his head snapped up, âwhat?â you gestured to yourself, âflirt with me. show me what all your so-called techniques look like in practice.â
ânow?â
âyes. unless the great campus matchmakerâs all talk.â
he huffed a laugh, straightening like he was accepting a dare, âyouâre unbelievable.â
âyouâre stalling,â you said, smirking, arms crossing, your breasts unintentionally pushing together. his grin flickered â quick, nervous, awkward, âfine,â he said, leaning back, trying to find that cool, unbothered tone again, âyou want me to flirt? iâll flirt.â
âgo on, then.â he nodded once then he looked at you, really looked, and you could tell that his little performance faltered the second your eyes met. the silence stretched, heavy but not uncomfortable. you tilted your head, feigning innocence, though your lips curved ever so slightly, âcat got your tongue?â
his throat bobbed, âjustâŚrecalibrating my approach.â you raised an eyebrow, amused, ârecalibrating, huh? sounds like an excuse to me.âxiaojun let out a breathy laugh, clearly buying time, his hand raking through his hair, âyouâre not exactly making this easy,â he muttered.
âoh? i thought you were the expert.â
âi am,â he said quickly. too quickly. then softer, âbutâŚyouâre my client, this is unprofessional.â
âtechnically, iâm notâi havenât paid you yet,â you leaned forward slightly, elbows on your knees, voice dipping into teasing curiosity, âso, no rules.â you werenât letting him off the hook so easily, especially after he wasted three of your nights on false pretenses.
âhow many girlfriends have you even had, anyway?â
he blinked, caught off guard, âwhatâs that got to do with anything?â
âjust trying to gauge the experience level of my so-called professional,â you said, âbecause so far, youâre not exactly proving anything.â he straightened a little, pretending to think it over, âi haveâŚenough experience,â he said finally, meeting your eyes with a mock confidence that didnât quite reach his voice. you tilted your head, watching him squirm, âthat doesnât sound like a number.â
for a moment, the air between you shifted, not heavy, not exactly awkward, but filled with something quieter, something that hummed under the surface. he wasnât the confident matchmaker, not right now. right now he was just a boy sitting across from you, trying a little too hard to seem unaffected. and maybe, you thought, that was why you hadnât stopped yet. because watching him try, really try, was far more entertaining than any of his so-called lessons. under your stare, xiaojunâs facade cracked, the grin heâd been wearing faltered and a faint pink crept up the back of his neck. you studied him, waiting. he exhaled, rubbing the back of his neck, âokay, fine. you want the truth?â
âobviously.â
he groaned under his breath, then looked away, eyes darting anywhere but you, âzero.â
you blinked, surprised, âzero what?â
he sighed, running a hand through his hair, âgirlfriends. iâve had zero girlfriends, okay?â
you hummed, tilting your head, watching him squirm, âsoâŚâ you said, voice dropping slightly, âif youâve never had a girlfriendââ you leaned forward, ââhave you even touched a girl?â
his head snapped up, âwhat kind of question is that?â
âa valid one,â you teased, lips twitching, âcâmon xiaojun, you can barely even maintain eye contact with me right now.â
xiaojun tried to glare, but the heat rising to his ears ruined the effect, âof course iâveââ he stopped himself, jaw clenching, then muttered, âthatâs none of your business.â
you leaned in closer, smile sharpening, âso thatâs a no?â he groaned, slumping back into your couch, muttering something under his breath you couldnât quite catch. âwow,â you said with a smirk, âthe legendary campus matchmaker, whoâs never even held a girl properly.â
âhey,â he protested, eyes flashing up to meet yours, âiâve held someone before.â
âwhat base?â
his mouth fell open, scandalized, âyouâre annoying.â you grinned, rising slowly from your seat and stepping toward him, your voice soft but taunting, âmaybe. but if youâre going to call yourself an expert, xiaojunâŚyou might want to prove youâve got at least some experience.â his breath hitched as you stopped right in front of him, your knees brushing his. then you leaned down, whispering in his ear, âhave you even made a girl cum before?â his hands clenched into fists against his knees, throat working as he looked up at you, caught somewhere between awe and panic. you could almost see the wheels turning in his head, trying to calculate the right response, the right move, but coming up completely blank. the confidence he wore like armor was cracking and maybe thatâs what youâd been waiting for â the truth behind all his theatrics.
âyouâre quiet,â you said softly, stepping back just enough to let him breathe, âwhatâs wrong, matchmaker?â
xiaojun swallowed, a nervous laugh catching in his throat, âyou really like putting people on the spot, huh?â
you tilted your head, âonly when they pretend to be something theyâre not.â that landed. his expression faltered again, the grin slipping just enough for you to catch the embarrassment flicker behind it. but he didnât look away this time. he met your gaze and there was something steady there now â not confidence exactly, but something closer to honesty, like heâs finally given up playing the role, âyouâre right,â he said quietly, a beat later, âiâm not good at this.â
that admission hung between you, heavier than you expected. it stripped the air of all its noise, leaving only the faint hum of the city outside and the sound of his uneven breathing. you leaned back slightly, studying him, âthen why did you play matchmaker? why did you act like you have all the answers?â
he let out a small breath, shoulders slumping, âbecause i like helping people figure things outâŚeven if i canât,â he trailed off, then smiled weakly, âit reminds me that loveâs real. even if i havenâtâŚfelt it yet.â something in you softened at that. maybe it was the way his voice had gone small, or the sincerity that replaced his usual smirk. whatever it was, it pulled you closer â metaphorically, and then, without realizing it, physically. you found yourself stepping forward again, until your knees brushed his once more. his breath hitched, eyes flickering up to meet yours, and for a long, fragile second, neither of you moved. then you smiled, not sharp this time, not teasing, just small, knowing, âguess even experts need practice sometimes,â you murmured. he laughed, low and nervous, the tension curling between you again like static before a storm, âguess they do,â he said. and though you didnât say it, both of you knew the game had changed.
âyou never answered my question,â you said, voice dropping to a husky murmur that cut through the charged silence like a spark, the tension in the air changing. the power dynamic shifting. xiaojun gulped audibly, his adamâs apple bobbing as he stared up at you, eyes wide with a mix of trepidation and that lingering spark of curiosity, âwhat question?â he managed, his words tumbling out in a rush, barely above a whisper. you leaned in closer, your breath warm against his ear, repeating the words with deliberate slowness, letting them hang heavy in the air, âhave you ever made a girl cum?â he started to sweat then. you could see the faint sheen gathering at his temples, his collar suddenly too tight as he shifted in his seat. his hands fidgeted against his thighs, fingers twisting the fabric of his pants and his gaze darted away for a split second before snapping back to yours, trapped, âiâŚi think so?â the uncertainty laced his voice like a confession, raw and unpolished, his cheeks flushing a deeper red under the dim city lights filtering through the window.
you smirked, the expression curling your lips as you straightened up just enough to tower over him, enjoying the way his body tensed in anticipation, âthatâs a no.â the words landed like a gentle slap. he winced, but there was no malice in it â only the truth. peeling back another layer of his facade. you watched him for a moment, the hum of distant traffic underscoring the rapid thump of his pulse you could almost feel echoing between you. his vulnerability was intoxicating, a crack in the armor that invited you to press further, to guide him where his bravado had failed. then it hit you, a sudden clarity lighting up your thoughts like a bulb flickering on in the dark. you reached out, your fingers lightly tracing the line of his jaw, tilting his chin up so he had no choice but to meet your eyes, âokay, matchmaker,â you said, your tone shifting to something more inviting, seductive, âiâll help youâŚpractice starts now.â
his breath caught sharply, eyes darkening as the implication sank in, the air between you thickening with unspoken possibilities. the city outside faded to a distant murmur, leaving only the two of you in this intimate bubble. you eased yourself down onto the other end of the couch, the cushions dipping slightly under your weight as you turned your body toward him, back rested on the armrest, legs parting just enough to let your knees angle upward, pointing towards the ceiling, your pajama shorts hitching up, exposing the smooth skin of your thighs and an inch of your ass. you let your posture settle into something relaxed yet inviting, gaze locked on xiaojun's face to watch every flicker of reaction. he coughed, the sound rough and abrupt, breaking the heavy quiet as his eyes widened, âwhatâwhat do you mean?â his voice cracked on the words, hands gripping the edge of the cushion like it was the only thing keeping him grounded, his chest rising and falling too quickly.
you smirked, the expression slow and deliberate, loving the way you held all the power in this moment â the way his nervousness fed into your confidence, making the air between you pulse with heat. you let your fingers trail idly along the hem of your shorts, âif you want to, then you can touch me,â you said, your tone low and steady, parting your legs a little wider. the motion was subtle at first, then more pronounced, drawing his gaze downward to the space between your thighs, where the faint outline of your panties hinted at the warmth waiting there.
âwhat?â he stammered, his breath hitching as his eyes snapped back to yours, then darted down again, unable to resist. sweat beaded along his hairline and he shifted uncomfortably, his pants tightening visibly at the crotch as arousal warred with his nerves.
âyou heard me,â you replied, your voice a soft command, you didnât move to close your legs, instead letting them stay open, the invitation clear and unapologetic.
xiaojunâs throat worked visibility, swallowing hard, his fingers twitching against his thighs. he looked like he was fighting an internal battle, part of him frozen in place, the other inching toward surrender, âiâŚi donât know if iââ he started but the words faltered, his gaze lingering longer this time, tracing the curve of your inner thighs.
you tilted your head, smirk deepening as you watched him, the tension coiling tighter with every second he hesitated. your own pulse quickened, a low throb building between your legs, but you kept your composure, letting the silence stretch, forcing him to fill it with his own desire, âitâs okay to want this,â you murmured, your hand drifting to rest on your knee, fingers brushing the skin there lightly, ââyouâve been talking a big game about love and connection. show me you mean it. touch me, xiaojun. feel what itâs like to make someone feel good.â his eyes darkened, pupils blown wide as he licked his lips, the nervousness in his expression cracking under the weight of temptation. he leaned forward slightly as if testing the waters. the air felt thicker, charged, every breath you took syncing with his, drawing him in like a magnet. you could see the bulge in his pants straining more now, the fabric tenting unmistakably and a soft hum escaped your throat, encouraging without words.
âdonât make me wait,â you whispered, parting your legs just a fraction more, the motion exposing the dampening spot on your shorts, âpractice means getting your hands on me.â
that did it. his resolve shattered like glass, a low groan rumbling from his chest as he finally moved, scooting closer across the couch, his body drawn toward yours, the distance between you vanishing inch by inch until his heat radiated from him, eyes fixed on the space between your legs with a mix of awe and desperation. you reached out, taking his hand in yours, his fingers trembling slightly, warm and slightly clammy from nerves, and guided it slowly toward your inner thigh, letting his fingertips brush the soft skin there first.
âstart here,â you instructed, sliding his hand higher until his palm rested against the damp fabric of your thin cotton shorts. he gasped at the contact, his fingers flexing instinctively, but he waited for your lead, breath coming in short bursts, âfeel how wet i already am? thatâs because of you, xiaojun. now take it off and slide one finger â slowly, up and down. get me even wetter.â
âo-okay,â he stammered, voice barely above a whisper, you lifted your hips as he carefully tugged your shorts and panties off then his index finger traced the length of your folds with tentative strokes. the sensation sent a shiver through you, your pussy clenching in anticipation as his touch grew bolder, coating his digit in your slickness. you watched his face, the way his lips parted cheeks flushing deeper as felt the heat radiating from your core.
âthatâs it,â you murmured, praising him softly, âgood boy, just like that â keep going, rub a little firmer now, circle my clit with your fingertip. feel how it swells under your touch?â
âitâsâŚso warm,â xiaojun breathed out, eyes glued to where his hand worked between your thighs, his free hand gripping the couch cushion so tightly his knuckles whitened. he circled your clit as directed, the pressure building a delicious ache inside you, a soft moan escaping your lips, encouraging him further. he shifted his hips, a low whimper building in his throat as he watched your pussy lips part slightly, glistening under his touch, âam iâŚdoing it right?â
to pull him deeper into the moment, you grabbed the hem of your tank top and peeled it off over your head, tossing it aside. your breasts spilled free, nipples already peaked from the arousal humming through you. you cupped them in your hands, squeezing gently, thumbs flicking over the stiff peaks as you arched your back slightly. xiaojunâs gaze snapped up immediately, his movements faltering for a second as he stared, utterly transfixed, mouth agape, breath hitching like heâd forgotten how to function. you looked like every single video he touched himself to and it was driving him absolutely insane. meanwhile, the way his eyes darkened, pupils blown wide, made your core throb harder â knowing you had him hooked completely.
âadd two fingers now,â you directed, your hips rocking subtly to meet his hand, one palm still kneading your breast, âpush them inside me, curl them upward toward my belly. fuck me with them slow and deep.â his middle and index fingers joined, sliding into your tight heat with a wet sound that made him groan, his face inches from your lap now, breath fanning hot against your skin. but his eyes kept darting back to your chest, watching as you rolled your nipples between your fingers, tugging just enough to draw another moan from your throat.
âl-like this?â he asked, voice cracking as he pumped them in and out, curling as you said, hitting that spot that made you dizzy. you gripped his wrist lightly, guiding the rhythm, âyes, just like that â now make it three fingers. stretch me wider, thrust them all in deep.â he obeyed instantly, adding his ring finger, the added girth making you gasp as your walls stretched around him, slick sounds growing louder with each plunge, âgod, youâre so tightâŚi can feel you squeezing,â he muttered, nodding frantically, sweat trickling down his temple as he drove all three digits deeper, his thumb accidentally brushing your clit in the process.
his cock throbbed painfully in his jeans, pre-cum soaking through the fabric in a dark spot and he rutted subtly against the couch edge, chasing friction without thinking. watching you â breasts bouncing slightly with each thrust of his hand, nipples glistening from your own touches, thighs quivering, pushed him to the brink, his balls tightening as arousal coiled low in his gut.
âback to two now,â you commanded breathlessly, the shift making your pussy flutter at the change in pressure, âpull one out and focus â curl those two harder, faster.â
âare youâŚare you gonna cum?â he asked, his voice thick with desperation, eyes flicking between your heaving chest and the way your pussy gripped his fingers, his pace quickening as he adjusted to two digits again, pumping them with renewed determination.
âi will if you keep going like this,â you replied, locking eyes with him, your hand abandoning your breast to brace against the couch as the pleasure built sharper, âdonât stop â rub my clit in circles while you fuck me â youâre such a good boy, xiaojun, learning so quick â make me cum on your fingers,â praise spilled from your lips like honey, and he doubled his efforts, thumb pressing and swirling over your swollen numb while his two fingers curled and thrusted relentlessly inside you.
âiâŚi want to make you feel good,â he panted, his voice thick with need, gaze locked on your face as your expression twisted in pleasure, still stealing glances at your exposed tits rising and falling with your ragged breaths. the tension snapped like a rubber band, your orgasm crashing over you in wave.
âfuck, fuck, yesâiâm cumming for you!â you cried out, back arching off the couch as you tightened around him, thighs clamping around his arm, holding him in place as you rode the high, juices dripping down his palm, your breasts jiggling with the force of your shudders.
xiaojun watched in awe and it undid him completely, âoh shitâŚyouâre cummingâŚ.on my fingers,â he groaned, a choked moan tearing from his throat as his cock jerked violently in his pants â hot spurts of cum flooding his underwear, soaking through the material. he froze, fingers still buried deep inside you, his face a mask of overwhelmed ecstasy and embarrassment, hips bucking weakly as he emptied himself without a single touch, utterly lost in watching you fall apart.
as the waves of your orgasm ebbed, you slowly released your thighs from around his arm, pussy still fluttering with aftershocks around his buried fingers. you eased them out gently, a trail of your wetness stringing between his hand and your folds, glistening in the dim light of the room. xiaojunâs chest heaved, his face flushed crimson, eyes wide and dazed as he stared at his soaked fingers, then up at you â your breasts still bare and heaving, nipples taut from the intensity. he swallowed hard, voice hoarse and shaky, âiâŚi didnât mean toâŚit just happened, watching you like thatâŚâ his gaze dropped to the dark stain spreading across his pants, embarrassment mixing in with the lingering bliss in his expression. he shifted awkwardly, the sticky warmth in his underwear making him wince.
you chuckled softly, a teasing lilt in your voice as you sat up straighter, grabbing your shirt from the floor and putting it back on, âaww, look at you â messy in all the right ways. but hey, mission accomplished on your end too, huh? though next time, maybe weâll aim for something a little lessâŚcontained.â xiaojunâs cheeks burned hotter, but a shy, crooked smile tugged at his lips, handing you back your underwear, ây-yeah? you meanâŚthereâs a next time?â you didnât answer him. instead you leaned in close, breath warm against his ear, whispering with a playful smirk, âthere, now youâve made one girl cum â properly,â before leaning back, eyes glinting with mischief, ânot so bad for a so-called fraud, xiaojun.â
đŻ OCTOBER 24 - THE PROPOSAL đŻ
itâs been four days since xiaojun felt both turned on and humiliated. he never expected youâd call him out on his bullshit. for godâs sake, you werenât supposed to be better at him. he made those posters for the ones who arenât getting laid, who doesnât know how to talk to boys â not the ones who knew exactly what they wanted. but stillâŚyou called. you were still desperate enough to call. so now, heâs here, knocking on your door, an idea brewing in his mind. âxiaojun?â you look at him with curious eyes. you havenât talked since that night on your couch and you werenât even sure if there was any more you should discuss. he walked in without your permission, pacing on your floor as you shut your door, âoh-kay, come on in.â
âi admit! iâm not a matchmaker or a love expert!,â he blurts out. you looked at him, deadpanned, âyeah, i know, thatâs what we concluded last time.â
âbut you still called,â he pointed out. you crossed your arms, waiting. âyou still called my number on that stupid posterâŚso youâre not exactly the expert either!â
âi never claimed to be one,â you pointed out.
âletâs continue.â
âwhat?!,â you snap, eyes wide, âxiaojun, you just said you donât know what youâre doing! and iâm tired of embarrassing myself with your âtechniques!â,â you quoted in the air.
âokay then you donât have to do them,â he says, making you even more confused. âlook,â he starts, âi might not know how to flirt but i do haveâŚconnections. i know a lot of people and iâll introduce you to them, you can do your thing, and see which one makes for the best boyfriend.â
you sigh, âand whatâŚyou still expect me to pay you for helping me meet people? because i can do that on a dating appâŚfor free.â he stopped pacing, turning toward you with that same mix of frustration and stubborn pride that always preceded his worst ideas, âno,â he said, shaking his head, ânot like that. iâm not asking you to pay me anymore.â
you arched an eyebrow, âthen what are you asking for?â he hesitated, hands shoved into his pockets, jaw working like he was chewing on the words, âiâllâŚiâll help you find someone. introduce to you people who fit what youâre looking for. but in exchangeââ he met your gaze then, steady and a little too intense, ââyou teach me.â
you blinked, âteach you?â
he nodded once, âhow to be a good lover.â
you let that sit there for a second, staring at him, trying to decide whether he was joking or insane, â...you want me to teach youâŚhow to be a lover?â
âyeah,â he said quickly, defensive, âthe perfect one, actually. so when i do meet someone, i wonât screw it up.â you laughed, a small, incredulous sound, âxiaojun, that is the most ridiculous thing youâve said yet. and thatâs saying something.â
he threw his hands up, âyou said it yourself â iâm a fraud, right? so let me actually learn something. you clearly know what youâre doing,â his eyes flicked to you, the memory of exactly what youâd done to him still written all over his face, âyou know how to make peopleâŚfeel things.â
you raised an eyebrow, enjoying the way his voice faltered around the last two words, âand what? iâm supposed to turn you into some kind of dream boyfriend? fix your technique, your confidence, your sex drive, yourâwhatever this is?â
âyes.â
you exhaled through a laugh, leaning back against your door, âwow. youâre serious.â
âcompletely,â he said, running a hand through his hair. âthink of it likeâŚa trade. you get your boyfriend. and i get to stop being a walking embarrassment.â the proposal was absurd, yes, but there was something undeniably entertaining about it. watching him try to reclaim his dignity was endearing in the most chaotic way possible. you sighed, crossing your arms. âand how do you propose we even start this lesson plan?â
he looked thoughtful for a moment, like he was trying to piece together a real plan but mostly stalling, âwell, i figured youâd know what a perfect boyfriend looks like since youâre looking for one.â
âoh, of course,â you said dryly, âbecause iâm an expert in perfect relationships.â
he smirked faintly, recovering some of his usual charm, âyouâre definitely better at it than i am.â
that earned a laugh from you, âfair.â then, because curiosity was always your downfall, you asked, âalright then, whatâs your end goal? you want to learn how to talk to girls? how to please them? how to hold their hand without combusting?â
he gave a sheepish smile, âall of the above?â
you exhaled through your nose, pushing off the door, âfine,â you said, and his head snapped up. âweâll do it. butââ you held up a finger when he started to speak, ââif youâre asking me to teach you how to be a lover, you do exactly what i say. no arguing. no weird theories. got it?â
his lips curved into a small, crooked grin, âgot it.â
you eyed him, still skeptical, âyou realize this means iâm in charge now.â
he gave a mock salute, âyes, maâam.â
you shook your head, amused despite yourself, âdonât call me maâam.â he chuckled, and for a second, that familiar warmth, the one that made everything between you feel like a dare, sparked back to life, âand this timeâ you said, crossing your arms with a smirk, âclass is going to be very⌠hands-on.â
đŻ OCTOBER 25 - THE FIRST LESSON đŻ
the bass from the speakers thumped through the crowded wayv house, bodies packed tight in the dim living room, red solo cups sloshing with cheap beer. laughter and shouts cut through the haze of smoke and perfume, the air thick with that party vibe. here you were, with xiaojun, weaving through the crowd, that sheepish grin on his face, his hand brushing yours as he pulled you toward a cluster of guys near the makeshift bar, your skirt flowing with every step.
âthis is wooyoung,â xiaojun said, nodding at the handsome, sharp-featured guy with tousled hair and a mysterious smile, his button-up shirt half untucked like heâd just rolled out of a rehearsal. wooyoung extended a hand, his grip firm, eyes locking onto yours with a spark of interest that made your pulse tick. he was charming right off the bat, witty banter about the partyâs lame playlist, a quick story about some theater mishap that had everyone chuckling. he leaned in close when he laughed, his cologne subtle and warm and for a minute, you thought maybe xiaojun had actually scored. but then he started name-dropping every indie movie youâd never heard of, his enthusiasms veering into that pretentious territory that grated like nails on chalkboard. another thing you couldnât stand: people who acted like their taste in movies was better than everyone elseâs â boredom settled in fast, your smile turning polite as you nodded along. after a few more exchanged, you excused yourself with a casual wave, leaving wooyoung mid-sentence, his brows furrowing in confusion. xiaojun caught up to you by the kitchen island, his expression a mix of hope and nerves, âso? whatâd you think?â
you shrugged, sipping from your cup to hid the smirk, âheâs great, but that whole obscure indie obsession? hard pass. feels like heâs trying too hard to act different.â
xiaojunâs shoulders slumped a fraction, but you didnât let the moment drag, leaning in, your voice dropped low, teasing, âanyways, letâs focus on something else, likeâŚyour first official lessonâŚare you gonna show me to your room or are we gonna mope around all evening?â
his eyes widened, a flush creeping up his neck as he glanced around the party. the vulnerability from yesterday flickered back, but he nodded quickly, muttering something about upstairs. you followed him through the chaos, hand in his, up the crowded stairs, past doors, until he pushed open one at the end of the hall. his room was a typical frat mess â clothes draped over a chair, a bed shoved against the window with blinds half-drawn, city lights filtering in. the door clicked shut and before he could say a word, you backed him against it, your hands fisting his shirt as you pulled him down into a kiss. his lips met yours tentatively at first and you thought you might also have to give him kissing tips but then something shifted â he angled his head, tongue sliding against yours with a surprising confidence, slow and deep, like heâd been holding back a secret skill. heat pooled low in your belly as his hands settled on your hips, pulling you closer, the kiss turning hungry, breaths mingling in the quiet space.
you broke it just enough to murmur against his mouth, âyouâre a surprisingly good kisser, xiaojun. whereâd you learn that?â he chuckled breathlessly, fingers tightening on your waist, âyou really donât care about the people in this school, do you?â
you pulled back slightly, arching a brown, your hand trailing down his chest, âwhat does that have to do with anything?â his gaze dropped, a shy grin tugging at his lips, âiâm a theater kid, been in plays since freshman year, kissing scenes are basically mandatory practice.â
laughter bubbled out of you, light and mocking as you shoved him toward his bed, âmakes sense why youâre such a loser when it comes to girlsâŚall stage kisses and no real action.â he stumbled back onto the mattress, eyes darkening with that mix of embarrassment and arousal as you followed, straddling his lap, âhey, not fair,â he protested weakly, stopping himself from touching you.
you noticed, âstop being so afraid to touch me,â you said, guiding his hand up your thighs. he nods, finally allowing his hands to roam free, bunching up your skirt, âgood. now kiss me again,â you ordered, crashing your lips back to his. the makeout reignited fast, tongues tangling, your hips grinding down against the growing bulge in his jeans. his breaths came ragged, one hand slowly sliding up to cup your breast through your top, testing. you moaned into his mouth and he continued, thumb circling your nipple until it hardened. but you werenât here to just make out. pushing him flat on the bed, you slid down his body, lips trailing kisses down his jaw, his neck, tasting the salt of his skin until your hands were working his belt open with deliberate slowness. he watched, chest heaving, eyes wide, as you tugged his jeans and boxers down just enough to free his cock â already hard, tip glistening with pre-cum. you couldnât help but bite your lip. it twitched under your gaze and you wrapped your fingers around the base, giving a firm stroke that made him hiss.
âlesson time,â you said, voice husky as you leaned in, tongue flicking out to lap at the head, tasting the saltiness. his hips bucked slightly, a groan escaping him. you took him into your mouth slowly, lips stretching around his thickness, sucking gently as you bobbed down further, hollowing your cheeks. he was hot and heavy on your tongue, pulsing as your worked him deeper. but of course this wasnât just a regular blowjob. though you couldnât deny, how much you were getting lost in it. you were observing him. his reactions. and after a minute of nothing from him but quiet grunts you pulled off with a wet pop. you looked up at him, hand pumping his shaft steadilyâ
âgirls like it when you praise them, xiaojun. tell them how good they feel, how pretty they look with your cock in their mouth. makes us wet, makes us want to please you more. and grab our hair â guide us, but not too rough unless we ask. like thisââ to demonstrate, you took him back in, sucking harder, your free hand guiding his to your hair. he hesitated for a second, then threaded his fingers through the strands, gripping lightly as you set a rhythm, up and down, tongue swirling around the underside, saliva dripping down your fist.
âfuck,â he breathed, voice strained, âthat feelsâŚyouâre so good at this. god, your mouthââ
âbetter,â you mumbled around him, popping off again to instruct, âbut donât force it, say my name, or just be louder with your groans, or something like âyouâre making me feel so good. suck it just like that.â try it.â
he nods, hand tightening in your hair, guiding you back down as he rasped, ââfeels so good honey, just like thatâshitâkeep going, please,â the praise rumbled from him, tentative at first but gaining heat, his lips lifting to meet your mouth. you hummed around him in approval, the vibration drawing a whimper from him and took him deeper, throat relaxing to swallow around his length.
âand when you grab hair,â you continued after another teasing suck, your words muffled as you stroked him, âpull a little if sheâs into it. shows you want it. practice on me.â
he obeyed, fingers tugging your hair just enough to send a thrill through you, his voice rougher now, ây-you look so fucking hot right nowâŚwith my cock down your throatâdonât stopâf-feels amazing,â he thrusts shallowly and you let him, gagging softly as you deepthroated him, nose brushing his pelvis. saliva slicked your chin, the room filling with wet sounds and his mounting moans.
you kept the lesson going, pulling back to swirl your tongue around the head while pumping him fast, âgood boy, see? girls love hearing how theyâre driving you crazy. makes us grind against nothing just thinking about it. now tell me im the best while i make you cum.â
his grip firmed, eyes locked on yours, wild and desperate, ây-youre the bestâfuck, iâm close. your mouth is perfectâgonna cum if you keepââ the words broke into a groan as you sucked hard, taking him all one last time. he shattered, hips jerking as hot spurts filled your mouth, cum spilling over your tongue. you swallowed around him, milking every drop until he slumped back, panting, hand loosening in your hair.
wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, you crawled up beside him, smirking at his dazed expression, ânow, do you want to see what you did to me?â he turned his head, swallowing hard, his chest still rising and falling in uneven breaths, eyes still glazed from his release, âpleaseâŚcan i touch you again? make you cum again?â
a grin spread across your lips, slow and wicked as your arched a brow at his eagerness, âwell, arenât you an ace student after all?â he flushed but didnât look away, his hand reaching out to rest on your hip, thumb brushing the hem of your skirt, âi just want to make sure i learned something from last time. please? i want to feel you like that again.â
you shifted closer, letting your thigh drape over his, the heat between your legs pulsing, âyou want to finger me again? prove you paid attention?â
his eyes lit up with that eager nervousness and he nodded, sitting up a bit as your rolled on your back, âokay, show me what you got,â your fingers moved to the buttons of your cute button-up top, slowly undoing them one by one, the soft fabric parting to reveal the swell of your breasts, lace bra peeking through until you shrugged it open completely, leaving you in your skirt. the cool air hits your skin, nipples hardening instantly as you let the top fall aside, exposing yourself to his heated gaze.
his hand slid up your inner thigh, pushing your skirt higher, fingers finding your panties already damp, âgod, youâre so wet already,â he murmured, voice husky, before hooking the fabric aside, exposing your slick folds. he exhaled sharply at the sight then pressed two fingers against your entrance, sliding them in slow, testing the wetness that coated him immediately.
âthatâs it,â you moaned at the initial stretch, voice high and approving as you spread your legs wider, giving him full access. there was no step by step guide this time. his touch was surer than before, curling those fingers just right, stroking that spot inside that made your hips lift off the bed. he pumped steadily, thumb finding your clit and circling it with gentle pressure, drawing a soft moan from your throat. he glanced up, lips parting, âcan iâŚcan i suck on your nipples too? i want to taste you everywhere.â
you nodded, threading your fingers through his hair to guide him down, âgo ahead, iâm all yours.â
something about that made his cock twitch again but before he could focus on the affect those words had on him, he dipped his head, mouth latching onto one nipple, tongue flicking over the hard peak before he sucked, pulling it between his lips with a wet pull that sent sparks straight to your core, âlike this?â he whispered against your skin, breath hot as his fingers kept working inside you, thrusting deeper now, the squelch of your arousal filling the room as he switched to the other breast, teeth grazing lightly before soothing with broad licks.
âfuck, yesâjust like that,â you praised, arching into his mouth, your free hand gripping the sheets. he hummed against your skin, the vibration adding to the building heat, his pace quickening as he felt your walls clench around his digits, âso good xiaojunâfeels amazingâkeep sucking, harder, pleaseââ
please. he likes that. he likes that a lot. he groaned, drawing your nipple in deeper, fingers scissoring inside you, stretching and rubbing until your thighs trembled. the pressure coiled tight in your belly, breaths coming in gasps as he alternated between your breasts, saliva glistening on your skin from his eager mouth, âso hot like this,â he gasped, âpussy dripping all over my handâso perfectâiâm gonna make you cum so hard,â he promised, thrusts growing firmer, thumb pressing your clit in firm circles.
âohâfuckââ your words drowned out as you completely shattered under his hands, back arching as the orgasm ripped through you. hard. your pussy pulsed around his fingers, juices soaking his palm as you cried out, waves of pleasure taking over. he didnât stop, riding out with slow strokes and soft sucks until you slumped back, panting, pulling him up for a messy kiss.
âyouâre getting the hang of it,â you whispered against his lips.
âso i did okay?â he asked breathlessly, eyes searching yours, a shy smile tugging at his mouth as he licked his lips.
âyes,â you murmured, voice husky with satisfaction as you cupped his face, thumbs brushing his flushed cheeks, âyou did more than okay.â his eyes widened slightly, that shy smile blooming into something brighter and more confident.
đŻ OCTOBER 27 - OH đŻ
the library is your place â the one corner of campus where nobody bothers you, nobody stares, nobody tries to flirt with you while drunk on cheap beer. it smells like books, highlighters and the quiet whir of brain cells dying from overstudying. you were halfway down the aisle labeled forensics/psychology/crime, balancing a stack of case files against your hip when you spotted him. you almost pretended not to see him but xiaojun turned that exact moment and the two of you froze like a scene from a low-budget movie. he blinked first, â...oh,â he said, voice echoing too loudly for the silence around you, âhi.â
you raised an eyebrow, âhi,â then, because you never expected to see him here, âwhat are you doing here?â
âstudying,â he said simply. you stared at him. he stared back. his hair was slightly messy, like heâd run his fingers through it one too many times. he had sheet music tucked under one arm and pencil tucked behind his ear. âyou?â he asked.
âresearch,â you held up your books â bloodstain patterns, offender profiling, a neatly tabbed courtroom forensics binder. the usual. âyou know, light reading.â
he grinned at that â that wide, bright, boyish grin he couldnât hold back even if he tried, âof course, nothing says relaxing like,â he walked over to you, reading the title of the book on the top of your stack, âhigh-impact trauma analysis,â he grinned.
you rolled your eyes, âare you making fun of me?â
ânever,â he said but his mouth twitched like he wanted to laugh, then, âitâs cute.â
you opened your mouth to say something, you werenât sure what, but he moved before you did, reaching out and sliding your entire stack of books out of your arms and into his like heâd been planning it all along. not clumsy. not flustered. just smooth â in this effortless, unthinking way that made your brain short-circuit. you blinked, âwhat are you doing?â
âbeing chivalrous,â he said, already adjusting the stack against his chest, âobviously.â you stared at him as he turned, walking towards an open table. he didnât ask if you should sit together. he just assumed. and somehow âit didnât bother you at all. by the time you caught up, heâd already set your books down gently. you dropped into the chair across from him, studying him over the rim of your binder. because something wasâŚdifferent. he wasnât flustered. he wasnât shy. he wasnât tripping over his own charm like he usually did. he was justâŚnatural. he tapped the corner of your top book with his finger, âso, whatâs todayâs murder?â
you narrowed your eyes, âyou really want to know?â
âyep,â he said cheerfully, âiâm invested.â he pulled out one of the books, and you watched him flip a page. the sunlight from the window hit him at an angle, dust particles drifting lazily around his head like a halo he absolutely didnât deserve. but he looked warm. grounded. settled.
you squinted at him, confused, âare youâŚusing one of your flirting techniques with me right now? â
he didnât even look up, âhuh? no. why?â
you paused. thatâŚwas not the answer youâd expected. âbecause,â you said slowly, leaning forward, âyouâre beingâŚsmooth.â
he blinked once. twice, âiâm literally sitting.â
âyeah,â you said, frowning slightly, âbut you grabbed my books.â
âyour hands were full.â
âand you made a joke.â
âi make jokes all the time.â
you stared harder. he stared back, more confused than ever. then the realization hit you â quiet but certain. he wasnât performing. he wasnât trying to impress you or anyone around. he wasnât deploying one of his so-called matchmaking techniques. this was justâŚhim. xiaojun. comfortable. at ease. unguarded. around you. your breath stilled for half a second. oh.
he tilted his head innocently, âdid i do something wrong?â
you felt your lips twitch, softer than you intended, âno. no, you didnât.â
he relaxed, tapping his pencil lightly against the table, âgood. i thought maybe i overstepped a boundary or something.â
you shook your head. because for the first time, you saw it clearly â when heâs not pretending to be the campus matchmaker or scrambling under the weight of your teasing â heâs actuallyâŚcharming. effortlessly. and he doesnât even know it. you opened your binder, pretending to read, though you werenât absorbing a single word, âjustâŚkeep doing what youâre doing.â
âwhat am i doing?â he asked, genuinely puzzled.
you glanced up at him â the easy grin, the bright eyes, the relaxed posture, âbeing comfortable,â you said before you could stop yourself.
his grin softened. âyeah,â he said quietly, nudging your foot under the table without looking up, âi am.â and somehow, that felt bigger than anything heâd said before.
the comfortable silence fell over the both of you like a warm blanket, soft and steady, wrapping itself around the table. it wasnât awkward â it was familiar, almost intimate, the kind of silence born only from people who feel safe around each other. you could see his shoulders relax, your knees brushing just barely under the desk.
âokay,â he declared suddenly, breaking the small pocket of quiet that had formed between you. he leaned closer and tapped a giant blood-spatter diagram inside your book, his nose scrunching as he studied the droplets, âi need you to walk me through⌠whatever the hell this is.â
you raised an eyebrow, already amused. âblood distribution velocity.â
he blinked at you, âcool. what?â you slid the book toward you and flipped it open with the kind of practiced familiarity that only comes from having done it a thousand times before. it landed perfectly on a page full of arrows, impact labels, and meticulously drawn droplets. xiaojun scooted closer without hesitation, forearms on the table, chin propped on one hand like a kid being read a bedtime story he was unexpectedly invested in. âexplain,â he said simply.
you tried, unsuccessfully, to keep the spark of excitement out of your voice, âfine,â you murmured, tapping the page, âlow impact is basically passive drips, like from a wound. medium is from forceâblunt objects, movement, impact. and high velocityâŚâ you paused long enough to watch his face, âthatâs usually from gunshots.â he let out a quiet, awed âwhoa,â eyes widening in a way that should not have been as endearing as it was. but it was. his fascination had a softness to it, like he wasnât asking for the sake of asking. he was actually interested.
then he straightened, pointing at one of the diagrams. âthis one looks⌠pretty?â
you stared at him, ââŚthatâs arterial spray.â
âokay, not pretty,â he corrected immediately, holding up a hand, âbut likeâinteresting pretty.â
despite yourself, you laughed â a soft, startled sound you werenât planning to let out. his head snapped up instantly at the sound, pride blooming across his face like youâd handed him a trophy. he grinned, flipping to the next page with the bright curiosity of someone digging through secrets, âokay, whatâs this?â
âitâs scene reconstruction,â you leaned in, close enough to feel the ghost of his warmth, âthe arrows show direction, movement, struggleââ
âoh,â he said, and there it was again, the spark in his eyes, the way they lit up when something clicked, âso itâs kind of like blocking.â
you blinked, âblocking?â
âmovement on stage,â he explained, immediately switching into animated theatre-kid mode, hands tracing invisible paths in the air, âlike how you figure out where everyone was, where they went, how they interacted. same thing. youâre mapping behavior.â
you stared at him, surprised heâd managed to connect the two so quickly, and correctly, ââŚyeah,â you admitted, slowly, impressed despite yourself, âexactly like that.â
he beamed at you, absolutely pleased with himself for bridging the worlds of forensic science and musical theater in under ten seconds. it shouldâve been ridiculous. it wasnât. it just felt strangely natural. âsee?â he nudged your book with his knuckle, âweâre both detectives.â
âno,â you said, âiâm a detective. youâre a drama queen with a metronome.â
he gasped, a hand flying to his chest, âiâll have you know Iâm the backbone of the performing arts program.â
âyou keep proving my point.â you realized you were smiling â genuinely, softly, without thinking. he flipped to another page, pretending to examine a diagram of cast-off patterns like he understood half of what he was looking at. after a moment, you asked, almost casually, âso why music anyway?â
he didnât hesitate. didnât get shy. didnât puff himself up like he was giving some dramatic monologue. he just looked at you, soft and matter-of-fact, and said, âitâs the only thing that makes sense.â
you blinked. âmakes sense?â
âyeah.â he shrugged lightly, the pencil behind his ear bobbing with the movement, âeverything else feels like noise. music doesnât.â
you paused, caught off guard by the ease of it â how he said it like he wasnât revealing anything big, like it was the simplest truth in the universe. âitâs likeâŚâ he continued, tapping lightly on the table to some rhythm only he knew, âwhen iâm singing or, you know, trying to survive music theory without crying, it feels like my brain finally lines up. like it knows what to do. likeââ he searched for the word, eyebrows knitting, âlike i belong there.â you didnât expect that answer. or the way it warmed something low in your stomach. not because it was emotional. but because it was honest in the most casual way â the kind that slips out when someone isnât trying to impress you. he glanced back at his music sheet, âeverything else is messy and confusing. but music? it justâŚmakes sense.â
you watched him for a second. the sunlight catching on the side of his face. the relaxed curve of his shoulders. the way he didnât seem embarrassed about saying something real. and for once, you didnât tease him. you just said, âyeah. i can see that.â
he smiled â not big, not dramatic, but small and lopsided, the kind of smile that crept in when he didnât know he was doing it. and that smile, that quiet little thing, made something flip in your stomach. you hadnât realized it but the comfort between you had been growing slowly until it was easy. just like this.
he was flipping through your binder again, humming absentmindedly, when he stopped and squinted at a highlighted case summary in the margins, âoh my god,â he whispered, leaning closer, âplease tell me this isnât real.â you glanced over. the cheese theft case. he read it out loud under his breath, eyes widening, âa 63 year old man has been arrested after stealing 300,000 euros worth of cheddar,â he looked up at you like heâd witnessed a religious vision, âwhy did he need that much?â you smirked, finding his curiosity amusing, then he leaned in again, excitement bubbling. âokay, serious questionâif you were gonna steal something weird, what would it be?â
âi would never!â you say almost incredulously, but the slight tremble in your voice gave you away.
xiaojun grinned, âohhhh, you totally would,â he said. âbut i already know what youâd steal.â
you squinted, âwhat do you meanââ
âyouâd probably rob victoriaâs secret,â he declared proudly, âand take all their lace bras.â
your jaw dropped. completely. like a cartoon character, âwhatâ whyâ WHAT DO YOU MEANââ
he shrugged, unbearably casual, and leaned his chin into his palm, âyou somehow always have the nicest pairs on.â
your entire body short-circuited, âIâ whATââ
he tilted his head, smirking like heâd found his new favorite sport, âyou think i havenât noticed?â
your face went hot. very hot. âoh my god, xiaojunâ you whispered, âshut up
âwhat?â he asked innocently. too innocently. âitââs a compliment.â
âitâs invasive!â
âitâs observational,â he corrected, âi take our lessons very seriously.â
you refused to combust alone. so you snapped back, âyeah? well, youâd probably rob calvin klein.â
his mouth fell open â then curved upward, slow, warm, and unmistakably flustered, âokay,â he admitted, laughing under his breath, âthey do have the most comfortable underwear.â and thatâs all it took for the two of you to dissolve â the laughter coming too quickly, too loudly, spilling out in little bursts you tried and failed to smother behind your hands. every time you met each otherâs eyes, it only made it worse. the blush on your cheeks matched the one burning across his, both of you hiding behind jokes you werenât doing a great job delivering. his grin widened, soft and boyish. âwhat do you say,â he whispered, leaning in too close for a library, âwe partner up and actually plan this heist?â
you pushed his face away immediately, âstopâ!â
he pretended to reel backward. âowâ! thatâs assaultâ!â
you tried to muffle your laugh. he tried to muffle his. neither of you succeeded. and thenâ âSHHHHHH!â it came from a stressed girl three tables over, her eyes bloodshot, her coffee shaking in her hand like sheâd reached her limit. you and xiaojun froze. faces red. mouths pressed shut. both of you trying desperately not to burst out laughing again. you kicked him under the table. he bit his lip, eyes shining. it was ridiculous. just stupid, silly fun. but in that small, dusty corner of the library, with your laughter still caught in your throats, it felt like something warm and effortless had wrapped around the two of you. and even as you tried to compose yourselves, both of you sitting up straighter, forcing your faces neutral, pretending to read â you could feel it. the quiet between you wasnât quiet at all. it was alive. buzzing. shared. and neither of you could stop smiling.
đŻ OCTOBER 31 â THE TEACHER AND THE PUPIL đŻ
the dream fraternity never did anything halfway, but halloween was a different beast entirely. and seeming this was the last the frat will ever throw, they really went all out. the house looked like it had thrown up fake cobwebs, orange string lights and questionable fog machine effects. the bass thumped so hard from inside that you could feel it in your ribs before you even reached the door. people spilled onto the lawn dressed as everything from toy story characters to cancellable serial killers to whatever last-minute pinterest idea they could pull together in an hour.
you adjusted your glasses, thin, wire-framed, perched low on your nose, and smoothed down the front of your white button-up. it wasnât really helping. the shirt was already a lost cause. one button undone too many, your red lacy bra coming into view, the black pencil skirt hugging your hips, riding up just a little every time you moved, red heels that clicked against the sidewalk and a slim pen tucked behind your ear, each detail enough to make your choice of costume obvious â sexy teacher. it was easy. it was funny. but the real punchline was that only one person at this party was going to understand the double meaning. you stepped inside, greeted by a wave of heat, sweat, cheap cologne and alcohol. someone in a werewolf mask howled near the kitchen, a girl in wings almost smacked you, the living room was already shoulder to shoulder, a mess of plastic cups and fake blood and half screamed lyrics. you didnât even get a chance to adjust your eyes to the dim lighting before someone shouted your name over the music. you turned. and there he was â xiaojun was leaning against a wall near the base of the stairs, dressed in a black bodycon. his costume wasâŚ.surprisingly good. tight. showed off his body without actually showing anything. he had a half-mask pushed up onto his hair. you couldnât even lie â he looked good. really good.
meanwhile, as soon as xiaojunâs eyes landed on you, he forgot everything else. his eyes traveled from your heels up to the glasses that sat on your nose. his brain visibly loading. he blinked once. twice. his hand tightened around his cup like it was a lifeline. âoh,â he said, way too late. you raised an eyebrow, fighting a smile, âuse your words, venom.â
âyouâreââ he gestured vaguely at all of you, âyouâreâŚthis should be illegal.â he still hadnât stopped staring.
you pushed your glasses up with one finger, enjoying this a little too much, âwhat, youâve never seen a teacher before?â
his mouth opened, then closed again. his throat bobbed. you could practically see the gears in his head turning. teacher. lesson. pupil. yeah. he got the joke. he dragged his gaze away with visible effort, forcing himself to look at literally anything else, âokay,â he said, suddenly remembering how to be a person, âokay. right. uhm. weâre here for a reason.â
âi would hope so,â you said lightly.
âi have someone new for you tonight,â he reminded himself more than you, âyou know. my job. matchmaker. that whole thing,â he straightened, running a hand through his hair. you gave a skeptical little hum. he ignored it, or tried to, âcome on,â he gestured for you to follow, weaving through the crowd, âheâs somewhere in the kitchen. i told him about you already and heâsââ he didnât get to finish. you caught his wrist. he stopped instantly, turning back. his eyes flickered briefly to where your fingers wrapped around his skin, then back to your face.
âi donât want to meet anyone tonight,â you said.
confusion creased his brow, âwhy not? heâs nice. and hot andââ you gave him a look. he shut up. you pushed your glasses up again, letting your gaze sweep over the chaos around you â masks, fake names, painted faces, people dressed as everything they werenât.
âitâs halloween,â you said simply, âitâs literally the one holiday where no one is honest about who they are.â he blinked, following your line of sight. a mouse playing beer pong. a barbie grinding on a guy in a ghostface mask. a surgeon taking shots â he nodded slowly, âokay,â he concede, âthats fair.â
you shrugged, âif everyoneâs lying anyway, whatâs the point?â
he chewed on the inside of his cheek, letting that sit for a second. then he looked back at you, âso,â he said, tone shifting into something lighter, âwhat do you want to do instead?â
you pretended to think about it, tilting your head, letting the music and the lights and the sheer heat of the room blur into one buzzing background. then you met his eyes, the tiniest hint of a smirk tugging at your mouth. âletâs just have fun,â you said, âno matchmaking. just you and me.â his heart skipped a beat. but you werenât done. âand thenâŚâ you stepped a little closer, leaning in just enough that he could smell your perfume over the haze of beer and sweat, your words slipping out just for him, âmaybe you can show me how venom uses that tongue of his.â he choked. actually choked. his hand spasmed around his cup. his ears went red. the half-mask nearly slipped off his head. for a full two seconds he just stared at you like youâd physically knocked the wind out of him. you only smiled, adjusting your glasses, entirely pleased with yourself.
the party only got louder, hotter and more chaotic as the night went on. people were dancing everywhere â on tables, on counters, on each other. but the moment you and xiaojun melted into the crowd together, none if mattered. he hovered close at first, protective in a way he didnât even seem aware of â guiding you through bodies with a gentle hand on your lower back, staying just behind your shoulders like he could steer the party away from you if he tried hard enough. then a song you liked came on and you tugged him deeper into the center of the living room where the lights were more neon than functional and the bodies were packed close enough that breathing felt optional. you didnât dance delicately. you werenât trying to impress anyone. you were having fun. and xiaojunâŚ.he was trying so hard not to stare at you that it became the only thing he did. your hips rolled. your skirt slid up a little higher. your glasses slipped down again, framing the lazy smirk you sent him over your shoulder.
at some point, someone handed you shots â neon green, questionably glowing, definitely dangerous. you knocked yours back without blinking. xiaojun watched first, impressed, then matched you like he was afraid to fall behind. the burn hit you both at the same time. you were laughing. he was laughing. faces close, breath warm. and then suddenly he wasnât laughing at all â he was looking at you. really looking. hair messed up from the crowd. mask hanging from his elbow, eyes dark with something he had very much stopped pretending not to feel. you lifted your hand, fingers landing on his chest. he inhaled sharply and one second later â his mouth was on yours. it wasnât careful. it wasnât planned. it wasnât shy. it was hungry. electric. the kind of kiss that made the rest of the party dissolve into pure background noise. his hands cupped your jaw, your fingers slid into his hair, someone bumped into the two of you and neither of you even flinched. his lips moved against yours hungrily. you dragged him closer, and he groaned softly â a low, surprised sound you felt straight down your spine. you barely heard yourself say his name.
âfuck this party,â he murmured against your mouth, breath ragged, lips brushing yours with each word, âcan we justâcan we please skip to the lesson?â
you pulled back just enough to smirk. your lipstick was smudged. his pupils were blown. âi thought youâd never ask,â that was when you grabbed his wrist. no hesitation. no second-guessing. he didnât even ask where you were going â he just followed, the same way he always followed your lead when things got intense. the crowd parted as you pulled him through the house, past the kegs and the dancers and the smoke-filled kitchen where someone had burned a tray of fake spider cookies. out the front door. down the steps. across the lawn. away from the noise.
the walk to your apartment felt like a blur, the bass from the frat house party still echoing in your ears as you and xiaojun burst through your front door, lips locked in a frantic, sloppy kiss. his hands were everywhere â gripping your hips, sliding up your back under your shirt, pulling you so tight against him that you could feel every inch of his hardening cock pressing into your stomach. you kicked the door shut behind you, the lock clicking forgotten in the haze of heat as you stumbled through the living room, his sneakers hitting the wall with a thud, your heels clattering to the floor. neither of you broke apart long enough to care about the mess. you pushed him toward your bedroom, tongues locked, breaths coming in hot pants, fingers tangled in his hair, yanking just hard enough to make him groan into your mouth. the bed loomed in the dim light from the streetlamp outside, sheets rumpled from your hurried morning. you shoved him backward onto the mattress, following him down in a tangle of limbs, straddling his waist as you ground against the bulge under his costume. his hands roamed your thighs, pushing your skirt higher, thumbs brushing the edge of your panties. your fingers unzipped his costume, bunching it down to his waist as your fingers trailed over his bare chest.
but as he shifted under you, trying to pull you closer, he winced, âoW,â he muttered, breaking the kiss with a hiss. you looked at him, confused, his hand fumbling under a blanket to fish out the mystery object. he held it up, blinking in the low light â real handcuffs, the cold silver metal glinting, linked by a sturdy chain. his eyes went wide, snapping to yours as he sat up slightly, still half-pinned beneath you, âwhy do you have these?â he asked, voice thick with surprise, gulping audibly. his cheeks flushed deeper, gaze flicking from the cuffs to your face, ââŚwere you gonna use these on me?â
you couldnât help but laugh, the sound low and teasing as you plucked the handcuffs from his fingers, dangling them playfully, âi think youâre forgetting iâm a forensics majorâŚwe actually need to know how to use those. for evidence handling and all that.â
he let out a nervous chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck but his eyes lingered on the metal, a spark of curiosity mixing with the lust, âsoâŚyouâre not gonna use them on me?â
you raised an eyebrow, leaning in close enough that your lips brushed his ear, your body still pressed against his erection. the heat between your legs throbbed at the thought and you let your free hand trail down his chest, nails scraping lightly, âi donât knowâŚdo you want me to?â
xiaojunâs breath hitched, his cock twitching under you as he searched your face, that eager nervousness from before bubbling up again. he swallowed hard, nodding slowly, voice barely above a whisper, âyeahâŚmaybe. show me?â
you pulled back just enough to meet his gaze, your fingers tightening around the cuffs, âare you sure? once theyâre on, iâm not going easy on you.â
he nodded again, quicker this time, his eyes locked on yours with a mix of excitement and surrender, âyes. iâm sure.â
âokay, come here then,â you said, your voice dropping to a commanding purr. you shifted off him, guiding him further up the bed until his back hit the pillows, his arms stretching toward the sturdy metal frame of the headboard. he scooted obediently, watching you with wide eyes as you straddled him. grabbing his wrists, you clicked the first cuff around his right wrist, the sharp snap making him jolt, then threaded the chain through the slats of the bed frame before securing the other. the metal held tight, pinning his hands above his head, leaving him exposed and immobile. he tugged lightly, testing the hold, his chest rising and falling faster. you leaned over him, your breasts brushing his exposed chest through your top and traced a finger down his jaw, you hummed in satisfaction, âi guess this will make the lesson betterânow you can only use this,â you tapped his lips softly, ââand your tongue to make me cum.â
a deep groan rumbled from his throat at your words, his hips shifting restlessly, cock straining against the bottom half of his costume. his eyes darkened with need, flicking down to where your skirt rose around your hips. âwhat do you say, xiaojun? you ready to learn how to eat a girl out properly?â you asked, your tone laced with challenge.
he nodded eagerly, completely under your touch now, his voice hoarse, âyesâŚplease, teach me.â you smirked, deciding to draw it out, teasing him with every move. slowly, you stood on the bed beside him, hooking your thumbs into the waistband of your skirt and sliding it down your hips inch by inch, letting the fabric pool at your feet. his gaze followed hungrily, locked on the bare skin of your thighs, then higher to the damp spot of your panties. he strained against the cuffs, arm flexing uselessly, a frustrated whine escaping his lips as he realized how impossible it was to touch you â to grab, to pull you closer.
âfrustrating, isnât?,lâ you murmured, stepping out of the skirt and trailing a hand over your stomach, dipping lower to press against your clothed pussy. all he could do was watch, transfixed, his cock visibly throbbing under the bodycon still bunched at his hips. you hooked your fingers into the sides of your panties, peeling them down agonizingly slow, the lace dragging over your skin until they joined the skirt on the floor. your pussy glistened in the low light, slick and ready as xiaojunâs breath came in shallow pants, his body arching toward instinctively.
âlesson two,â you announced, climbing back onto the bed and positioning yourself over his chest first, knees on either side of his ribs. you crawled up deliberately, letting your wet folds brush his skin, marking him with your arousal. his eyes were glued to you, mouth parted, tongue flicking out in anticipation. finally, you hovered just above his face, close enough that he could feel the heat radiating from your core.
âuse your tongue â flat and wide at first, lick from my entrance up to my clit,â you instructed, lowering yourself onto his waiting mouth. he obeyed instantly, his tongue pressing broad and slow against your pussy, lapping at your juices with desperate enthusiasm, the flat drag of his tongue sent shivers up your spine, coating him in your wetness as he traced from your dripping entrance to the sensitive bundle of nerves at the top. the cuffs rattled as he tried to reach for your hips but he couldnât, forcing him to focus entirely on the task, his mouth working harder to compensate. you rocked against him slowly a first, savoring the way his tongue flattened against your folds, exploring every inch.
âthatâs it â long, slow licks. taste me,â you encouraged, your voice breathy. he hummed in response, the vibration buzzing through your clit, making your thighs clench around his head. his tongue delved deeper, pushing into your entrance to scoop out more of your arousal, then sliding up again, firmer this time, pressing right against your clit on the upstroke.
ânow swirl around my clit â circle it with the tip,â you directed, grinding down a little harder. xiaojun learns quickly, his tongue flicking and circling the swollen nub, light at first, then with more pressure as you moaned in approval. you felt his hot breath panting against your skin, his nose bumping your clit occasionally as he licked deeper, fucking his tongue in and out of your pussy in shallow thrusts.
the pleasure was building steadily, a warm coil tightening in your core. you shifted your weight, bouncing lightly on his face to chase the sensation, âsuck itâpull my clit into your mouth and suck,â you gasped, and he did, sealing around the sensitive flesh, sucking gently at first, then harder. the wet suction pulled a cry from your throat, your hips rolling forward to smear more slick across his lips and chin. he groaned into you, the sound muffled by your pussy, sending fresh jolts of pleasure radiating through you. you bounced more insistently now, lifting and dropping onto his mouth, a hand fisted in his hair, forcing his tongue deeper with each descent. his licks grew sloppier, more frantic as he tried to keep up.
he could barely breathe but he couldnât care at this point. he was focused on pleasing you â lapping at your entrance, sucking at your clit, thrusting his tongue inside over and over. the cuffs clinked with your movements, a reminder of his helplessnes, which only made you grind harder, circling your hips to rub your folds over his entire face, âfuckâyes, iâm so close,â you moaned. you rode his face relentlessly, bouncing up and down, your thighs quivering as the pressure mounted. sweat beaded on your skin, mixing with the slickness between your legs and xiaojun devoured you like he was starving, his own muffled moans vibrating through your core.
the orgasm crashed over you without warning, pussy clenching around nothing as waves of ecstasy pulsed from your clit. you ground down hard one final time, holding his face buried against you, his tongue still flicking weakly as you trembled through the aftershocks. your juices flooded his mouth and he swallowed greedily, licking every drop he could reach even as you lifted slightly, catching your breath. looking down, you notice his face glistening â cheeks shiny with your cum, lips swollen and red, eyes hazy with lust and submission. he licked his lips, tugging at the cuffs again, voice rough and wrecked, âwas thatâŚgood?â
you smiled, stroking his damp cheek, your body still humming, âvery goodâŚand do you know what good boys get?â
xiaojun licked his lips again, tasting the remnants of your release, his eyes locked on yours. he shook his head slowly, a small ânoâ escaping in a breathy whisper, his chest heaving as he waited, cuffed hands flexing against the bed frame. you smirked, leaning down to brush your lips against his forehead, then his nose, teasing lightly, ââa reward.â his breath hitched, pupils dilating as you shifted lower. you pulled off the suit bunched at his waist, finally freeing his hips, his cock springing out, thick and hard, veins pulsing, the tip already leaking pre-cum all from watching you. you left him like that â the costume shoved down to his thighs, wrists still locked above his head, body fully exposed and vulnerable.
climbing back up, you straddled his hips, your wet pussy brushing his bare skin as you captured his mouth in a deep, hungry kiss. your tounge in his, tasting yourself on him, salty and sweet, while your hand slowly trailed down between your bodies, wrapping around his cock, gripping the hot shaft firmly. he moaned into the kiss, hips bucking up instinctively but you held him down with your weight, stroking him slow at first â base to tip, thumb circling the slick head to spread the pre-cum. the kiss turned messy, teeth nipping his lower lip as you pumped faster, your fist sliding over the hard length, feeling it throb in your palm. xiaojunâs breaths came in ragged gasps against your mouth, his body arching, muscles straining against the restraints. he was so turned on, so pent up from eating you out that it didnât take long â barely a minute of your hand twisting around him, squeezing just right, before he shattered. his cock pulsed hard in your grip, hot spurts of cum shooting across his stomach, some hitting your wrist as he cried out into the kiss, body shuddering violently. you slowed your strokes, milking every last drop from him, breaking the kiss to watch his face contort in bliss, then relax in heavy pants.
âhmmm, that wouldnât do,â you murmured, voice laced with mock disappointment, though your eyes sparkled with amusement.
âwhat?â he rasped, blinking up at you, still dazed, his cock softening slightly in your hand but twitching at your voice.
you leaned in close, your free hand tracing patterns in the cum on his abs, âcumming that fast is hot and all but you better make sure you have more in you.â his eyes widened, a flush creeping up his neck, surprise mixing with fresh arousal. he tugged at the cuffs again, a soft whine building in his throat, but before he could respond, you flashed him a playful smirk. your lips started their descent â kissing his jaw, sucking lightly at his neck, then trailing wet open-mouthed kisses down his chest, tongue flicking over a nipple to make him gasp before continuing lower, over the ridges of his abs, lapping up a streak of his own cum, the salty taste making you hum in approval.
finally, you reached his cock, already semi-hard and glistening with remnants of his release. you gave the tip a slow, deliberate lick, flat tongue dragging from base to head, swirling around the sensitive slit, âcome on, xiaojun, we just started,â you teased, voice low and sultry.
he groaned deeply, head falling back against the pillow, hips jerking up toward your mouth despite himself. but with your kitten licks â soft, teasing flicks along the underside, tracing the vein, lapping at the head like it was the sweetest treat â he was already stirring, blood rushing back, his cock thickening under your tongue, hardening anew as you worked him back to full erection. you hummed in approval, pulling back just enough to look up at him, your breath hot on his skin, eyes locking with his desperate gaze, âwhat do you want, xiaojun?â you asked, voice husky, your hand loosley stroking the base, âmy mouthâŚor my tits?â
he swallowed hard, chest rising and falling rapidly, the cuffs clinking as he shifted. his mind raced â he pictured burying his face in your breasts, sucking onto your nipples, the warmth and softness giving him a moment to catch his breath, to steady himself after that quick release. âyour tits,â he breathed out, voice thick with need, hoping youâd lean in and give him time to slow the building fire in his groin.
âexcellent choice,â you grinned wickedly, rising up on your knees, your fingers unbuttoning the rest of your polo. in one fluid motion, you shrugged it off your shoulders, tossing it to the floor, then reached back to unhook your bra. the straps slid down your shoulders and you let it fall, exposing your full breasts, nipples already hard and begging for attention.
âgod, please,â he whined, eyes widening, fixed on the vision of you, a soft whine escaping his throat as he tugged at the restraints, harder this time, wanting so badly to touch you â but you had other plans. leaning forward, you pressed your breasts together, creating a tight, warm valley of flesh. his cock, still slick from your licks and his earlier cum, throbbed visibily. you guided the sensitive head between your tits, sliding in slowly, the heat of your skin squeezing him,
âoh fuck,â xiaojun moaned immediately, his hips jerking up involuntarily, the new friction on his oversensitive cock sending shocks through him. the cuffs rattled loudly against the bed frame as he strained, fingers curling into fists, desperate to reach down and touch, to hold your breasts himself, âahhâplease, iâŚâ you started moving, pressing your tits tighter around him, lifting and lowering your body to fuck him with your breasts, up and down, the slick slide of his cock between your soft mounds, the head peeking out at the top with each thrust, brushing your chin.
âthatâs it, xiaojun, feel how good my tits fuck you,â you purred, watching his face twist into a mixture of pleasure and pain, âyou wanted them so badânow take it.â he whined high and needy, head thrashing side to side on the pillow, the overstimulation making his thighs tremble under the bunched costume.
ânnghâfuckâtoo much, itsâŚoh god,â he gasped, another moan ripping from him as you picked up the pace, your breasts bouncing slightly with the motion. the rattle of the handcuffs grew frantic, metal biting into his wrists as he pulled hard, aching to free his hands, to grab the sheets, your hips, your hair, anything to keep him grounded from this teasing torment, âlet me touch youâŚplease, i needâahh!â
ânot yet,â you teased, spitting down onto his cockhead for more lubrication, âyou look so hot like this. keep whining like that and iâll give you what you want.â
his moans turned into breathless whimpers, body arching off the bed, completely at your mercy as you worked him toward another peak. the pressure built fast, his cock throbbing wildly, hips bucking up to meet your rhythm, âfuckâiâm gonnaâŚahh, please,â he whined, voice breaking, body tensing as the orgasm hit him again â hot ropes of cum shot from his cock, splattering across your tits, coating the soft curves and dripping down your cleavage in thick white streaks. he gasped and shuddered, the release making his thighs quake, âoh fuckâgodâyesâŚâ he moaned sofly, spent and trembling, eyes half-lidded in bliss.
you slowed your movements, letting his cock soften between your breasts, admiring the mess heâd made. smirking, you released the pressure and leaned forward, bringing your cum-covered tits up to his face, âlook at what you did. now be my good boy and clean it upâlick every drop.â
xiaojun was too far gone to hesitate, his mind hazy with pleasure. without a word, he leaned in as much as the restraints allowed, lips parting to suck on your nipple, tongue lapping at his own cum. he didnât care. didnât question â just devoured it greedily, switching to the other breasts, sucking hard on the hardened peak. soft hums escaped him, content and obedient. you let him have this moment, his mouth working over your tits as a quick breather, the warmth of his sucks sending tingles through you.
âlook at you, my ace student,â you praised, threading your fingers through his hair gently, holding him close, âsucking so eagerly, cleaning up your mess like you should. youâre doing so well for me.â he moaned around your nipples, the praise making him nuzzle deeper, his breathing steadying as he savored the brief calm, completely lost in the act. you pulled back slightly after a few more minutes of letting him calm down, his tongue still lazily swirling your hardened nipples. his breaths came in soft pants against your skin, body limp and glistening with sweat under the dim bedroom light. the handcuffs rattled faintly as he shifted, utterly spent but still tethered to the bed frame.
you traced a finger along his jaw, tilting his chin up to meet your eyes, âxiaojun,â you murmured, voice low and coaxing, âcan you handle one more? just one more round for me?â he opened his mouth, but no words came out â only a weak, breathless whimper, his eyes glassy and unfocused from the overload. his cock twitched faintly against his thigh, sensitive yet half-hard again from sucking your tits. you can tell heâs tired. but he asked for thisâŚdidnât he? to help him build his stamina up.
you pout playfully, leaning in closer, lips brush his ear, âplease xiaojunnie,â you whispered, drawing out the nickname with a sultry lilt, âi really want to suck you off. let me make you feel good one more time.â
the nickname hit him like a spark, his body jolting subtly, a fresh flush creeping up his neck. his eyes widened as he swallowed hard, the sound audible in the quiet room, âo-okay,â he managed shakily, voice cracking on the word, barely above a whisper. you smiled wide, rewarding with with a gentle open-mouthed kiss, âyouâre taking everything so wellâiâm so proud of you,â your hand slid down his chest, wrapping around his cock once more, giving it a slow, firm stroke to coax it back to full hardness. he gasped, hips twitching upward into your grip, but you released him just as quickly, sliding down the bed.
positioning yourself between his spread legs, you gripped the base of his shaft, tongue flicking out to lap at the tip, then you took him in, lips sealing around his flushed head as you sucked hard, hollowing your cheeks while your hand pumped the rest of his length â xiaojunâs whines filled the room immediately, high pitched and desperate, his head falling back against the pilow, âahhâfuck, too fastâŚohâ,â he cried out, voice breaking into sobs as overstimulation clawed at him. tears welled in his eyes, spilling over as you bobbed your head, taking him deeper with each pass. his legs trembled, instinctively trying to close around you for some relief, thighs quivering as he fought the intensity. but you wouldnât allow it â shifting your weight, you swung one leg over his thigh, sitting firmly on it to pin him open. the pressure of your pussy against his muscle grounded you both, your wetness smearing across his skin as you grind down once, experimentally.
he bucked beneath you, the whines turning into full cries, âpleaseâitâs so nnghâsensitiveâŚâ you hummed around his cock, the vibration making him arch off the bed, ignoring his pleas as you kept your mouth working relentlessly. the sounds he made were intoxicating, raw and broken, fueling your own arousal. you couldnât hold back anymore â lifting your hips just enough, you started rutting against his thigh in earnest, sliding your slick folds back and forth over the firm muscle. the friction sent sparks through your clit, your breaths coming faster as you rode him like that, mouth never leaving his cock.
xiaojunâs eyes locked onto you, wide through his tears, âholy shit, honey,â he swore breathlessly, voice wrecked, âthatâsâfuckâthe hottest thing iâve ever seen, youâ,â his words cut off in a strangled moan as you deepthroated him, nose brushing his pelvis. the combination pushed him over the edge faster than before â his third orgasm ripping through him with brutal force, cock pulsing hard in your mouth, cum flooding out in thick spurts that you swallowed greedily, not stopping, milking every drop with tight sucks. his sobs tapered into ragged please, his body shuddering beneath, âstop! please!, i canâtâŚtoo muchâpleaseââ he begged, voice horse and completely broken now, tears spilling from the corner of his eyes, hands tugging weakly at the cuffs. you knew heâs reached his limit. you eased off immediately, releasing his cock from your mouth with a soft pop, lips glistening as you lifted your head, finally letting him catch his breath. sliding up his body, you reached for the key on the nightstand, fingers carefully unlocking the cuffs. the metal clicked open and you rubbed his wrists gently, massaging the faint red marks left behind. then you brushed away the tears streaking his cheeks with your thumbs, your touch tender now.
âhey, talk to me,â you say softly, pulling him back to earth, âare you okay?â
he blinked up at you, chest rising and falling in uneven breaths, a small, dazed smile tugging at his lips, âiâm fine,â he murmured, voice still shaky but genuine, âit was justâŚnew. really intense, but good. really good.â
you smiled softly, an eyebrow raised, âyou really havenât explored have you?,â you ask. not teasing. just genuinely curious.
he smiled sheepishly, âuhmâiâm kind of a virgin.â
your jaw dropped at the revelation, âwhat do you mean kind of?â
his cheeks flushed, âwell, i donât think my first time counts since i kindaâŚcame as soon as i stuck it in?â
âoh my god,â you giggled, then realization struck you, your eyes going wide in shock, ââand you let me handcuff you?!â
he laughed, light, almost disbelieving, cutting through the heavy air, as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you down to his chest, âi meanâit was fun.â
you smiled against his skin, nuzzling into the warmth of him, but lifted your head to check again, âyou sure youâre okay? no regrets?â
he met your gaze, his expression softening into something vulnerable then he cupped your chin with gentle fingers, âit was perfect. thank youâbutâŚâ
âbut what?â you prompted, curiosity sparking as you traced his jawline. he hesitated for a beat, then surged forward with surprising strength. rolling you both over in one smooth motion â now, you were beneath him, his body pinning yours lightly to the mattress, eyes dark with renewed intent, âi think i still need practice,â he said, voice low and determined, a playful glint in his gaze as he kicked off his costume completely and settled between your thighs. you let out a surprised laugh, your hands coming up to rest on his shoulders, but there was no real protest in you. this was the point after all â teaching him, guiding him, letting him use your body without the mess of labels or expectations. just raw, hands-on lessons.
âalright, xiaojun,â you breathed, spreading your legs wider to give him access, âshow me what youâve learned so far.â he nodded, eyes focused and eager, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your inner thigh. his lips were warm, tentative at first, trailing higher until his breath ghosted over your folds. you were already slick from earlier, your pussy aching for attention and when his tongue finally darted out to trace your slit, you shivered. he licked experimentally, remembering your words from earlier, flat and broad, tasing you with a hum that vibrated against your skin.
âthat feels good,â you encouraged, fingers threading through his hair without pulling. his mouth latched gently onto the swollen nub, tongue flicking in slow, deliberate circles, taking note of every one your reactions. the sensation built steadily, sparks of heat coiling in your core as he grew more confident, sucking soflty before dipping lower to tongue-fuck you. his hands gripped your thighs, holding them open as he alternated between lapping at your entrance and teasing your clit, learning the rhythm that made your hips buck.
âfuck, yesâjust like that,â you moaned, back arching off the bed. he was getting better with each pass, his inexperience giving way to instinct and soon you were panting, chasing the edge he was so carefully building. but he didnât rush â instead, he slowed when you got close, pulling back to kiss your thighs, letting the tension simmer before diving back in.
âxiaojun⌠donât stop,â you gasped, thighs trembling around his head. he groaned against you, the sound muffled as he sucked harder on your clit, one finger sliding inside your pussy to curl against that spot he knew all too well now. and just like that, you shattered â waves of pleasure crashing over as you came hard, walls clenching around his finger, juices flooding his mouth. he didnât pull away, licking you through it until you were whimpering from the overstimulation.
you coaxed xiaojunâs mouth away from your pussy for good. he lifted his head, lips glistening with your arousal, his own breaths coming in heavy pants that matched the ragged rhythm of yours. sweat clung to his skin, his hair tousled from your earlier grip and his eyes, dark and satisfied, locked onto yours with a mix of pride and lingering hunger, âwas thatâŚokay?â he asked, voice rough. you reached down, fingers threading through his damp strands to guide him up your body, pulling him up for a messy kiss, âyou seriously need to stop asking that,â you murmured, voice hoarse from the moans heâd drawn out of you. he collapsed half on top of you, lazily kissing you back, his weight a comforting press against your side as your arms wrapped around his shoulder. your chests heaved in unison, the air thick with the scent of sex and exertion, both of you utterly spent.
you continued kissing until the exhaustion settled over you like a warm blanket, lips moving sluggishly against yours, soft and unhurried, tongues brushing in lazy strokes that carried the faint taste of your releases. your hands roamed idly over his back, tracing the lines of muscle still humming with residual tension, while his fingers tangled gently in your hair, holding you close without demand. the world narrowed to the warmth of his body draped over yours, breaths mingling in the quiet space between kisses that grew slower, deeper, until your eyelids fluttered shut. sleep claimed you both just like that â entwined and sated, lips grazing in feather light contact as dreams pulled you under.
đŻ NOVEMBER 1 - DEJUN đŻ
you stir awake in the tangled sheets of your bed, the faint light of morning filtering through the curtains of your bedroom. you reached to the other side of the bed out of instinct â cold. empty. not surprising. expected. stretching with a yawn, you swing your legs over the edge, muscles protesting a little, but you ignored it as you threw on an oversized shirt and padded barefoot into your living room, fully prepared to find your apartment as solitary as it always was. but then, as you stepped outside, something hit you. scent. warm, rich unmistakable â eggs. bacon. coffee. you froze. thatâŚcouldnât be right. your brows furrow in confusion. heâs still here? you walked the rest of the way into the kitchen, fully intending to prove your senses wrong. except they werenât. there he was â his back to you, shirtless in just his boxers from the night before, flipping strips of crispy bacon with a focused tilt of his head. the sight of his lean muscles shifting under his skin sends a lazy spark through you but its the domestic normalcy that catches you off guard.
âwhat are you still doing here?â you ask, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over your chest.
he glances over his shoulder, a small grin breaking across his face, his hair tousled from sleep, âthought youâd be hungryâŚbecause i sure am,â his voice carrying that raspy tone that morning brings. right on cue, your stomach lets out a traitorous rumble, loud enough to echo in the quiet space. heat creeps up your cheeks, but you canât help the smile that tugs at your lips. he chuckles, low and genuine, turning back to the pan as you both share that easy, knowing look. no tension. just a comfortable ripple in the air. without speaking, you moved to grab plates from the cupboard, setting them on the tiny dining table squeezed into the corner of your kitchen, just enough for two. while he plates the scrambled eggs and bacon, you prepare the forks and napkins, the routine unfolding naturally. surprisingly, itâs not awkward at all. if anything, it feelsâŚright.
when everythingâs ready, you both settle across from each other at the table, knees almost brushing under the surface. you didnât comment when he put noticeably more food on your plate. he pretended not to notice you noticing. the first bites are heaven, the eggs creamy and the bacon perfectly crisp and conversation flows as naturally as the coffee you pour from the pot he started.
âso, about last night,â you say between mouthfuls, smirking, âyou handled those handcuffs like a pro. didnât think youâd last that long without tapping out.â
he laughs, a flush coloring his cheeks as he ducks his head but his eyes meet yours with a playful glint, âyeah, well, you were a tough teacher. nearly broke meâŚbut in a good way,â he wiggles his eyebrows, popping an egg into his mouth and you both dissolve into light laughter.
âi canât belive youâre technically still a virgin,â you said around a mouthful of bacon.
xiaojun froze. fork in midair. shoulders tense. ears turning pink. he almost forgot he admitted that last night. he went quiet. really quiet. the clink of your fork against the plate seemed louder in the sudden hush and you watched as his gaze dropped to his half-eaten food, the easy banter evaporating like mist. when he finally spoke, his voice was small, honest in a way you werenât used to from him, âiâŚyeahâŚi guess i am,â a deeper blush crept up his neck, staining his cheeks as he set his fork down, fingers twisting in his lap under the table. he looked up at you through his lashes, vulnerability cracking through his usual shy charm, âitâs justâŚiâm too scared, you know?â
you tilted your head, curiosity softening your expression as you swallowed your bite. âscared, why?â you asked gently, no teasing edge this time, inviting him to open up without pressure.
he let out a shaky breath, rubbing the back of his neck, his eyes flicking away before settling back on yours, âwell, after my first time,â he muttered, âi finished basically the second iâ,â he cut himself off, face going scarlet, âthe girl was really madâŚtold me i was the worst sex sheâs ever had andâŚi was really embarrassed,â he said quietly, thumb rubbing the edge of the table, âlikeâŚhumiliating embarrassed. and i donât know,â he shrugged helplessly, âi just didnât really want to embarrass myself again after that.â his words hang in the air, raw and unfiltered, and you can see the weight of that old embarrassment still clinging to him like a shadow. the fork in your hand pauses midway to your mouth, you set it down gently, leaning forward just enough to close the small distance across the table. your eyes soften, meeting his with a warmth that cuts through the vulnerability he laid out.
you smile, soft and reassuring, reaching across to give his hand a quick squeeze before pulling back, âxiaojun, you have no idea how many men have done that,â you say, your voice light but sincere, easing the tension like a gentle touch, âthe fact that you even care enough to feel embarrassed already makes you ten times betterâŚand besides,â you shrug, a grin growing on your features, âshe missed out on possibly the best orgasms of her life,â you wink at him, the gesture playful, letting the implication sink in.
he blinks, his blush deepening for a beat before a surprised laugh bubbles out of him, breaking the quiet like sunlight through clouds. his shoulders relax, the helpless shrug from moments ago melting into a genuine, relieved grin as he shakes his head, âthatâs all thanks to you,â he says, his voice warmer now, eyes crinkling at the corners with that shy affection youâve come to recognize.
you shake your head no, picking up your fork again but keeping your gaze on him, steady and encouraging, âplease, i just guide you. youâre the one doing all the hard work.â the words come out playfully, but thereâs truth in them, an acknowledgment of his growth and his willingness to learn. he ducks his head again but this time itâs with a softer blush, the kind that shows flattery rather than shame. the conversation shifts back to lighter ground as you both resume eating.
and as you ease into a comfortable silence, xiaojun sets his fork down and looks at you with a softer expression, âdejun,â he says quietly, testing the word like itâs a secret heâs been holding.
you glance up, confused, âwhat?â
he smiles shyly, his cheeks tinting pink, âyou can call me dejunâthatâs my real name.â a warm smile spreads across your face, touched by the vulnerability in his voice. you hold his gaze, the kitchen falling into a gentle quiet where the only sounds are the distant hum of the city outside and your shared breaths. itâs a simple moment, but it feels intimate, like peeling back another layer of him.
then, before you can process what he was doing, dejun leans across the tiny table, his fingers brushing your lip in a quick, unexpected move, plucking a crumb right off and popping it into his mouth. your eyes go wide, a smirk tugging at your lips as surprise bubbles into amusement, âdejun! thatâs gross!â you say, half-laughing, half-scandalized, leaning back in your chair.
he chuckles, low and playful, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before looking at you with a mischievous look, âgross? come on, i was literally eating you out last night. howâs a little crumb worse than that?â heat floods your cheeks at his blunt words, the memory flashing hot and vivid but you canât let him with that easily. you reach over and smack his arm lightly, the sound sharp in the quiet kitchen, trying to play it cool even as your blush creeps up, âshut up, you perv,â you mutter, averting your eyes to your plate but the smile you canât hide gives you away. he just laughes harder, rubbing the spot you hit like it stung, his gaze warm and teasing as the morning stretches on in easy, charged comfort.
đŻ NOVEMBER 4 - ORGANIC ENCOUNTER đŻ
three days have slipped by since that lazy morning with dejun. youâve been dodging his texts about lessons and vague promises of setting you up with someone perfect â a part of you not ready to dive back into the chaos. but your fridge is a wasteland now, thanks to his enthusiastic breakfast raid, so here you are in the fluorescent-lit aisles of the grocery store a couple miles away from the university, basket hooked over your arm. youâre reaching for a carton of large eggs, mind wandering to how dejunâs shy smile lit up when you called him by his real name, when your elbow clips the edge of the shelf. the carton tumbles from your grip, cracking open mid-air and splattering itâs contents right onto the man standing just a step away â yolk and shell fragments streak down his crisp white shirt, the mess dripping onto his jeans in trails.
âoh shitâiâm so sorry!â the words tumble as you spin around, heat rushing to your face. heâs tall, easily towering over you with broad shoulders that fill out his frame just right, dark hair tousled in that effortlessly handsome way. and then thereâs his scent â cedar and vanilla, warm and inviting, cutting through the sterile smell like a cozy invitation. his face breaks into the prettiest smile, eyes crinkling at the corners with genuine amusement instead of annoyance.
he laughs, a low, easy sound that eases the knot in your stomach, âno worries, accidents happen,â he brushes a bit of eggshell off his sleeve, glancing down at the stain without a hint of irritation, voice smooth and steady.
âbut i ruined your shirt,â you protest, already fumbling for your wallet in your bag. guilt twists in your gut, âat least let me buy you a new one. thereâs a store right across the street.â
his smile widens, that charming curve making your pulse skip. he shakes his head, stepping a fraction closer to pluck a stray eggshell from your sleeve in a casual, disarming move. up close, his eyes are a deep, warm brown â pretty.
âreally, itâs fine. this old thing was due for a wash anyway.â
you bit your lip, insisting despite the flush creeping up your neck, âcome on, i canât just leave you like this. itâs the least i can do.â
he tilts his head, considering you for a beat, then lets out another soft chuckle, âalright if you insist on making it up to meâŚhow about you let me take you out instead? dinner, my treat. call it even.â
your eyebrows lift in surprise, a spark of intrigue flickering through the embarrassment. heâs direct but not pushy, that smile holding steady like he knows exactly how to turn a mishap into something promising, âa date? just like that?â
âjust like that,â he confirms with a soft smile, extending a hand, âiâm winwin, by the way.â
you take his hand, his grip firm and warm, the contact lingering a second longer than necessary, ây/nâŚand yeah, dinner sounds good.â
and as you both grab a couple of paper towels from the end of the aisle to clean up the mess, the storeâs overhead lights casting a soft glow on his profile, you canât help but wonder if this is one of those âthe universe works in mysterious ways,â dejunâs been promising all along.
đŻ NOVEMBER 5 - WINWIN đŻ
the next evening arrives with a soft autumn chill in the air, the kind that makes you grateful for the light sweater you threw on over your simple black dress. you meet winwin outside a cozy italian bistro a little outside of town. heâs already there, leaning against the brick wall with his hands in the pocket of his dress pants, looking effortlessly put together in a black button-down that hugs his shoulders just right. no flashy accessories, no over the top gestures â he simply straightens when he spots you, that same easy smile from the grocery store lighting his face.
âhey, you made it,â he says, voice warm and unhurried, like heâs been looking forward to this without making a big deal of it. he holds the door open for you. he suggests a table by the window, away from the busier spots and pulls your chair out, making sure youâre okay before he takes his own seat across from you. the perfect gentleman. the menu is straightforward and he doesnât launch into some rehearsed spiel about the best dishes or try to impress with wine knowledge. instead, he asks what youâre in the mood for, genuinely listening when you say youâre craving something simple like carbonara.
as the waiter takes your orders, pasta for you, a grilled chicken for him, the conversation flows without effort. heâs not peppering you with questions or steering everything back to himself â itâs balanced. a real exchange. you learned he graduated from the same university with a degree in literature and now he works at the public library in the neighboring town, curating events and helping with community reads, âitâs quiet most days,â he says, taking a sip out of his red wine, âgives me time to get lost in books or plan the occasional hour for kids. nothing glamorous but it suits me.â
thereâs no bravado in his words, just quiet contentment. he recommends his favorite novels and you find yourself sharing bits about your major. he listens intently, nodding at the right moments, his eyes steady on yours without that intense stare that screams, âiâm trying to charm you.â itâs gentle, the way he leans in slightly when you describe a particularly gruesome lab demo, chuckling softly at your delivery.
the food arrives, and he doesnât hover or comment on your bites. instead, he shares a story about a library patron who returned a book with a note inside, confessing it changed how they saw their own life â nothing boastful, just observation that lingers, making you see the appeal in his steady world. heâs kind in the little things â refilling your glass when itâs low, suggesting you try a bite of his salad if the dressing intrigues you, all without drawing attention to it. no forced compliments on your outfit or hair but when you laugh at his dry humour about a disastrous book club debate, his smile deepens. dessert is a shared slice of chocolate cake, spoons dipping in turns as the conversation drifts to lighter topics â favorite movies, color, food. time slips by unnoticed, the bistro emptying around you until the waiter politely clears the table. he insist on covering the bill with a casual, âmy treat, remember?â and you donât argue, stepping out into the cool night air together.
the walk to your bus stop is unhurried, streetlights casting long shadows on the sidewalk. he matches your pace, hands in his pockets again, the cedar-vanilla scent faint but comforting in the breeze, âi had a good time tonight,â he says simply, stopping at the curb where your bus will pull up, âwe should do it again sometime.â before you can respond, he leans in, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek â brief, warm, leaving a subtle tingle in its wake, âtext me when you get home safe,â he adds, stepping back with that same pretty smile. the bus arrives right on time as you settle into a seat, watching him wave from the stop and you canât shake the feeling that this might be exactly what youâre looking for.
đŻ NOVEMBER 7 - TELL ME MORE đŻ
two days slip by in a blur of notification lighting up your phone screen, each one from winwin pulling a smile from you without even trying. his texts are steady â nothing overwhelming, just thoughtful check-ins about your day, a shared meme, or a casual thinking about that cake we split. itâs easy, like breathing, and you find yourself replying faster than usual, the conversation weaving through your classes and late-night study sessions.
but tonight, the glow of your phone fades to the background as dejun sprawls on your couch, his body warm and insistent against yours. the apartment is quiet, just the hum of the city outside and the soft rustle of clothes as you straddle his lap, lips locked in a deep, hungry kiss. his hands roam up your sides, thumbs brushing the underside of your breasts through your thin tank top, while your fingers tangle in his hair, tugging just enough to make him groan into your mouth. the taste of him, mint and something faintly sweet, fills your senses, and heat pools low in your belly as his tongue slides against yours. he breaks the kiss first, nipping at your lower lip before pulling back slightly, his breath hot against your skin, âso,â he murmurs, voice rough with want, eyes dark as they flick over your flushed face, âi have another guy for you tomorrow night. this oneâs got that quiet intensity you like, graphic design major, tall, smells good. youâll love him.â
you pause, your hands stilling on his shoulders as you catch your breath. the words hang there, and before you can stop yourself, you lean in to kiss him again, soft and lingering, buying a second to gather your thoughts. when you pull away, you meet his gaze, a small smile tugging at your lips, âactuallyâŚi met someone recently.â
his eyes widen, a mix of shock and excitement flashing across his face as he freezes beneath you. his hands grip your hips a little tighter, holding you in place, âwait, what? like, for real?âŚspill,â thereâs a spark in his voice, genuine curiosity laced with something else. but he doesnât push you off â instead, he ducks his head to press open mouthed kisses along your neck, tongue flicking out to taste your skin. you tilt your head to give him better access, a soft sigh escaping as his lips trail down to your collarbone, sucking lightly at the spot that makes your pulse jump.
âyeah,â you continue, voice breathy but steady, fingers threading through his hair, âran into him at the grocery store â total accident, eggs everywhere. his nameâs winwin.â dejun hums low in his throat, the vibration rumbling against your skin as he listens, his mouth working a slow path back up to your jaw, âmhm,â he murmurs, the sound muffled against you, encouraging without interrupting.
âtook me out the next night,â you go on, words punctuated by the wet slide of his tongue along your throat, âitalian place in the next town. it wasâŚperfect, honestly. no games, no trying too hard. he went to our school, works at the library, reads to kids sometimesââ dejunâs hands slide under your tank top now, palms flat against your bare back, pulling you closer as his lips find the hollow of your collarbone again, teeth grazing just enough to send a shiver down your spine.
âsounds solid,â he says softly, another âmhm,â vibrating against you, but thereâs a subtle tension in his grip, like heâs hanging on every word. you shift in his lap, feeling the hard press of his cock through his sweats against your core and it makes your words come out a little huskier, âhe is. gentle, you know? listens without making it about him. we talked about books, my forensics stuffâhe didnât glaze over anythingâ,â dejunâs response is a deeper hum, his mouth trailing lower, nipping at the strap of your tank top before he suddenly shifts, easing you back against the couch cushions. ââand at the end, he walked me to the bus stop, kissed my cheek, promised weâd meet again.â
in one smooth motion, he hooks his fingers into the waistband of your shorts and panties, yanking them down your legs together and tossing them aside without a second glance. heâs not shy tonight â no hesitation, no fumbling like those early lessons. his eyes lock on yours for a beat, dark and intense, before he settles between your thighs, spreading them wide with his shoulders. the cool air hits your exposed pussy, already slick from making out, and you bite your lips as he leans in, breath ghosting over your folds.
âkeep going,â he says, voice low and commanding, lips brushing your inner thigh, âtell me more about this perfect guy.â
you swallow, trying to focus as his tongue flicks out, tracing a slow line up your folds, âheâs justâŚput together. life seems easy for himââ the words falter as he flattens his tongue against your clit, lapping firmly and you gasp, hips twitching. his hands pin your thighs down, keeping you open and he dives in deeper, mouth sealing over your pussy with a wet, messy suck that makes your toes curl.
âyeah?â he mumbles against you, the vibration shooting straight through your core, âsounds like a dream.â â but thereâs an edge to his tone now, a hint of something sharper as his tongue circles your entrance, pushing inside briefly before dragging back up to your clit.
you try to continue, voice shaky, âhe texts me all the time nowânonstop, but not clingy. justâŚnice.â
dejunâs response is a growl, low and possessive, and suddenly his pace changes. he devours you harder tongue thrusting into your pussy with quick, insistent strokes while his lips sucks at at your folds, sloppy and unrelenting. he eats you out like heâs starving, nose bumping your clit with every plunge. the wet sounds fill the room, his mouth working you over without mercy, teeth grazing your sensitive skin just enough to make you jolt.
âfuck, dejunââ your words cut off into a moan, hands fisting the couch cushions as pleasure coils tight in your belly. you canât talk anymore, not with him like this â tongue lashing your clit in rapid flicks, then sucking it between his lips with a pull that has your back arching. he knows exactly what heâs doing now, all those lessons paying off in the way he pins you down, refusing to let up even as your thighs tremble around his head. moans spill from you, high and needy, as he pushes you closer, his fingers digging into your hips to hold you steady. the unknown jealousy simmering under his actions, fueling the intensity until youâre nothing but gasps and whines, lost in the heat of his mouth claiming every inch of you. then â his fingers join in, two of them sliding inside you without warning, thick and insistent, curling right against that spot. he pumps them in and out, fast and deep, the wet squelch of your arousal echoing as his thumb circles your swollen clit in rough, tight strokes.
âoh god, dejunâyes, right there,â you gasp, thighs quivering around his head, your hands clutching at his hair to hold him in place. he doesnât let up, fingers thrusting harder, twisting to stretch you wider while his tongue laps at your folds, tasting every drop. pleasure crashed over you in waves, pussy clenching around his digits as you come undone, crying out his name in a broken sob, body shaking as your release flooded through you, soaking his hand and chin as you ride the high, walls pulsing greedily. he slows his movements gradually, drawing out your orgasm with gentle sucks and strokes until youâre panting and boneless against the couch. pulling his fingers free with a slick pop, he looks up at you, lips glistening, a smug glint in his eyes.
âfuck, youâve gotten really good at that,â you breathe, voice husky with aftershocks, reaching down to cup his jaw in praise. he just smirks, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before grabbing your waist and hauling you up. in a swift tug, he flips your positions, settling you on his lap, your bare pussy pressing directly against the rigid length of his cock straining through his grey sweats, the fabric already damp from your wetness and the heat of him sears into you as he grips your hips, grinding you down hard against him.
all thoughts of winwin vanish â erased by the friction sparking between you, your body instinctively rolling to chase more. you dry hump like that, lost in the raw sensation, your slick folds sliding over the thick bulge, his sweats teasing your sensitive clit with every drag. dejunâs hands roam everywhere, one sliding up your back to tangle in your hair, yanking your head down for a bruising kiss, tongue in your mouth, tasting of you. he breaks away to suck on your neck, leaving blooming red marks, his breath hot and ragged against your skin, you couldâve sworn he whispered, âmine,â but you were too caught up in him to process.
he hooked a finger into the neckline of your tank top, yanking it down roughly, your breasts spilling free, nipples hard and aching and he wastes no time â latching onto one with a hungry suck, tongue swirling around the peak while his teeth grace it with just a shy of pain. he switches to the other, giving it the same attention, leaving wet trails and fresh hickeys across the soft flesh, claiming every inch. youâre a moaning mess on top of him, whimpers spilling out as you grind your wet pussy harder against his clothed cock, the outline of his tip nudging your entrance through the barrier. the pressure builds again, fast and filthy, your hips circling desperately while his mouth marks you up, hands bruising your thighs to guide your rhythm. he thrusts up to meet you, groaning into your skin, the tension between you electric and consuming.
âdejunâŚfuckâyou feel so hard,â you moans, nails digging into his shoulders as you chase the building heat, your pussy aching to be filled but reveling in the tease.
he groans in your chest, mouth popping off your nipple with a wet smack, leaving it red, âyeah? you like riding my dick like this, honey?â his voice is rough, edged with that possessive hunger, hands clamping tighter on your ass to pull you down harder, forcing you to feel every ridge of him through the barrier.
âgod, yesâdonât stopâ you whimper, head falling back as pleasure coils low in your belly again, your breasts heaving with each bounce. his lips return to your skin, trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses up to your collarbone before capturing your mouth in a messy clash of tongues. you kiss him back fiercely, hips stuttering as the pressure mounts.
dejun breaks the kiss to nip at your jaw, breath ragged, âyouâre so wet, soaking right through my sweatsâŚall for me, right honey?â his fingers bruise your hips, guiding you in a punishing rhythm, the wet slide of your pussy over his clothed length growing sloppier, more desperate. the possessiveness in his tone sends a thrill through you, making you clench around nothing.
âjust youâfuck, dejun, only you make me this desperate,â you gasp, grinding down, his cock nudging your cilt hard, sparks exploding behind your eyes. your moans turn into whines, body trembling as you bounce faster, the couch creaking under the force. his mouth latches back onto your breast, sucking deep while his tongue flicks the peak, teeth grazing just enough to sting.
âthatâs it, honeyâcum on me again,â he murmurs against your skin, voice muffled but so natural, so commanding, his hips bucking up to meet your every drop. the friction is relentless now, your swollen clit throbbing against the rough weave, his shaft pulsing hotly beneath. you feel him swell even more, the telltale twitch signaling heâs close and it pushes you right to the edge.
âoh shitâdejunâiâm gonnaâŚgonna cum,â you cry out, your rhythm faltering as your second orgasm rips through you, pussy spasming against his cock, juices flooding out to drench his sweats completely, body shuddering in his grip as you ride it out with frantic grinds. watching you unravel tips him over,
âfuckâŚiâm cumming,â he grunts, head thrown back. his cock jerks wildly under you, hot spurts of cum leaking through his underwear, soaking through to slick your folds even more. he thrusts up, erratically, groaning low and broken, hands holding you flush against him as he empties himself, the warmth seeping between you in messy pulses. you both collapse in each other, panting and spent, your foreheads pressed to his chest while aftershocks ripple through. his arms wrap around your waist, pulling you close in the sticky aftermath.
đŻ NOVEMBER 8 - NOT YOU đŻ
the bass from the speakers thumps through the riize fraternity house, the air thick with the scent of alcohol, sweat and that unmistakable college party haze of hormones and bad decisions. you arrive with dejun, his arm brushing yours as you push through the front door, the crowd already filled with energy. heâs dressed sharper tonight â fitted shirt hugging his frame, hair styled just right and thereâs a spark in his eyes that wasnât there before, a quiet determination youâve helped nurture over stolen nights and whispered instructions. you find a quieter spot near the edge of the living room and turn to him with a teasing smile, âalright, lover boy,â you say, nudging his shoulder, âtime to put those skills to the testâŚshow me if all our lessons are sticking.â
he chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck, but thereâs no hesitation this time, just a nod of agreement, âyeah, i think iâm readyâŚthat girl from before, sheâs here somewhere. wish me luck?â
you raise your cup in a mock toast, âluckâs for amateurs, youâve got this. iâll be watching from over there,â you point to a spot across the room and he grins, squeezing your hand briefly before slipping away. your eyes track him as he makes his way to the kitchen counter, spotting her right away. last time, he was all nerves, stumbling over words and avoiding her gaze. but tonight? dejunâs different. he leans in casually, posture open and confident, holding her eyes without a flicker of doubt. his smile draws her out and soon sheâs giggling, her fingers grazing his arm as they talk.
a sharp twinge hits your chest, reminding you of the way his hands feel on your skin, but you push it aside, focusing on the pride bubbling up instead. this is what you wanted â to see him step out on his own, carrying the pieces heâs learned from you.
he catches your gaze then, across the sea of swaying bodies, his expression lighting up with that boyish triumph. he flashes a quick thumbs-up, all assurance and shared secret, before she tugs at his sleeve, pulling him somewhere more private. the moment heâs swallowed by the crowd, out of sight amid the grinding hips and flashing lights, you set your cup down on a nearby table. no lingering. you turn on your heel and head for the door, the cool night air hitting your face as you step outside â that mix of satisfaction and something deeper, sharper, chasing you into the dark.
ęˇęŚ
the door to the bathroom clicked shut behind xiaojun, the muffled thump of bass from the party fading into a dull hum. the girl, shuhua, whose name he learned just moments ago, pressed him against the wall, her lips crashing into his with eager insistence. confidence surged through him like a drug, all those late-night sessions with you clearly paying off. his hands slid to her waist, pulling her closer and she responded with a soft moan, fingers tangling in his shirt as she deepened the kiss.
it was easy. too easy. his body moved on autopilot, tongue slipping past her teeth, tasting the faint bitterness of her drink mixed with lip gloss. she arched into him, grinding her hips forward and he mirrored the motion, hands roaming up her back. the room spun a little from the alcohol buzzing in his veins â but there was no fire. no spark igniting in his gut. just mechanical rhythm, like reciting lines from a script heâd rehearsed a hundred times. she broke the kiss first, trailing her mouth down his jaw, nipping at his neck while her hands fumbled with his belt. he tilted his head back, eyes half-lidded but his mind drifted â this should feel electric. heart pounding, skin flushing hot, every nerve alight. instead, it was flat, like kissing one of his theater actors. no rush of blood to his cock, no desperate ache building low in his belly. nothing like the way his pulse hammered when you were the one in his arms, your voice whispering commands that made his whole world narrow to your touch.
her fingers hooked into his waistband, tugging his pants down in one swift pull, the fabric pooling at his thighs. cool air hit his skin and she dropped to her knees, eyes locked on his with that hungry gleam. her hand reached for his dick, soft and unmoving against his leg and something snapped inside him â this wasnât right. it wasnât your scent filling his lungs. it wasnât your nails digging into his shoulder. it wasnât your laugh echoing in his ears. and maybe this is the worst moment ever to come to this realization. but he canât help it. the universe truly does work in mysterious ways. and he knows it with every fiber of his being â he liked you.
fuck. he liked you more than the word like could ever mean. he had fallen. hard and fast. tangled up in every lesson, every stolen glance, every smile, every laugh, every time youâd pushed him to the edge only to pull him back. this girl on her knees? she was just a test he didnât want to pass.
âwait,â xiaojun said, his voice rougher than he meant it to be. his hand caught her wrist gently but firmly, stopping her inches away. she froze, looking up with confusion twisting her features, âiâŚi canât do this. iâm sorry.â her eyebrows narrowed, cheeks flushing red from embarrassment and anger. she yanked her hand back, standing up so fast, âwhat the hell? you drag me in here, get me all worked up and now you bail?! whatâs your problem?!â he zipped up quickly, heat creeping up his neck as he avoided her glare, âitâs not you. i justâŚ.realized i donât want this. not tonight.â she scoffed, smoothing her hair with jerky motions, ego bruised and voice sharp, âyeah, right. save it for someone who cares,â she stormed past him, slamming the door open and disappearing into the hallway, leaving the echo of her footsteps fading. xiaojun slumped against the wall, running a hand through his hair, the realization settling heavy in his chest â all he could think about was how badly he needed to find you.
ęˇęŚ
the fraternity partyâs relentless pulse fades into the night as you make your way home. dejunâs laughter rings in your ears, bright and triumphant as he leans into that girl, his hand resting low on her back, fingers splayed possessively. itâs what you taught him to do, after all â claim space, exude confidence. but watching it play out twists something vicious in your chest, a hot surge of ownership you have no right to feel. heâs your project, your eager pupil, not your anything. you donât linger for the fallout, clearing your head just enough to pull out your phone. winwinâs earlier messages glow on the screen: thinking about you. free tonight?
perfect. your thumbs fly across the keys.
y/n: come over :)
you hit send before doubt can creep in, walking back to your apartment. in a haze of streetlights, your mind replays dejunâs easy charm, the way his eyes had sought yours earlier, sparkling with that happy pride. by the time you unlock your door, the jealousy simmers low, a dull ache you plan to drown out.
winwin arrives, his knock soft and polite, a stark contrast to the chaos you left behind. he steps inside with that signature dimple smile. heâs the definition of a nice guy â tall, handsome, with a gentle charm that checks every box you once scribbled down. he has kind eyes that listen, hands that touch without demand, a steady presence that promises reliability. no grand gestures. just him, with a bottle of red wine and the words, âfigured we could unwind,â he says, voice warm as he sets it on the coffee table. you grab two glasses as you settle on the couch, legs tucked under you, winwin pouring two generous measures. the first sip warms your throat, tart notes blooming on your tongue and as always, the conversation flows easy â his stories from the library, your complaints about classes, laughter punctuating the quiet stretches. its innocent and comfortable. the kind of evening that builds without pressure. he sits close but not too close, knees brushing occasionally, sending a subtle spark up your leg. another glass empties, then another, the room growing hazy around the edges, inhibitions loosening like the fabric of your skirt riding up your thighs.
the wine hits harder than expected, cheeks flushing as you lean into him, his arm draping casually over the back of the couch. his fingers trace idle patterns on your shoulder, light and exploratory and you turn, meeting his gaze. those kind eyes hold a question, patient, waiting for your lead. you close the distance, lips brushing his in a tentative kiss â soft at first, testing. but the alcohol makes you bolder, tongue slipping past to taste the wine on him. he responds with a low hum, hand cupping your jaw, deepening it slowly, no rush, just the gentle slide of mouths exploring. this is new. the first time hands wander beyond polite touches. it should be exciting. but itâs not. you blame it on the wine.
you shift, straddling his lap, the couch creaking under the movement as his palms settle on your hips, thumbs circling the expose skin above your waistband. the kiss breaks for air, foreheads resting together, breaths mingling hot and quick, âyou sure?â he murmurs, voice roughened by desire but still laced with that inherent care, eyes searching yours for any hesitation. you nod, heart pounding, tugging at his shirt, the buttons giving way to reveal his chest. his skin is warm under your fingers, muscles tensing as you traced down to his belt. he helps, lifting his hips to shove his pants and boxers down, cock springing free. clothes come off in a lazy scramble, your top discarded, bra following, breasts spilling out to his eager mouth, hands slipping under your skirt to hook into your panties, pulling them off and stroking through your slick folds with careful pressure. the wine buzzes in your veins, blurring edges, making his touches feel amplified. he slides a finger inside you, then two, thrusting in a steady rhythm that has your walls clenching, hips bucking to chase more. but even as pleasure coils tight, your mind canât help but drift â winwinâs precision is flawless, hitting spots with practiced ease, yet it lacks the raw unpredictability that dejun brings, that eager stumbles that turn into fervent discovery. winwin embodies everything you thought you wanted â attentive, respectful, the perfect partner who pauses to whisper, âyou like that?,â his voice a soothing rumble. and yet, as his fingers curl deeper, thumb pressing your clit, you realize with a quiet jolt that those boxes donât matter anymore. the height, the scent, the intelligence â theyâre just lines on paper, fading against the vivid pull of someone else â dejunâs chaos, his unpolished fire, crowds your mind, making this perfection feel like a polite cage.
the orgasm sneaks up. winwin doesnât stop, working you through it with gentle pumps. then he eases you back onto the couch, grabbing a condom from his wallet and wrapping himself up before positioning himself between your legs. your skirt hikes up fully as he lines his cock at your entrance, asking for your permission one last time. you wrap your legs around his waist in response, pulling him in and he sinks into you slowly. his hands brace on either side of your head, body hovering close as he starts thrusting â deep, measured strokes that grind against your sensitive spot. itâs intimate like this, face to face, his kind eyes locked on yours, breaths syncing with each push. you clutch his shoulders, nails digging as he picks up pace, hips snapping forward to bury himself fully. his mouth finds your neck while the other kneads your breast. the angle hits just right, his groans low and controlled, âyouâre so beautiful,â he breathes against your ear, ever the gentleman even in the heat, praises slipping out between thrusts.
eventually, it tips you over, walls fluttering tight around his length as you cum again. he follows seconds later. you both laugh breathlessly, the sound light but hollow in your ears, wine glasses forgotten on the table. he holds you there a moment longer, softening inside before pulling out gently, tossing the condom in your trashcan, then shifts to lie beside you. he grabs his white button up, slipping you into it, the two of you shifting to lounge side by side. itâs cozy, effortless, the kind of night that should soothe. the kind of man that should have the butterflies erupting in your stomach. but everything feels distant, irrelevant â dejunâs on your mind. his messy enthusiasm eclipsing this flawless night, stirring a longing you canât ignore. your eyelids grow heavy around 2:30a.m., the satisfaction feeling surface-level, overshadowed by the ghost of another manâs grin.
the knock jolts you awake, three firm taps echoing through the quiet apartment, sharp enough to scatter your drowsiness. winwin mumbles something incoherent, rubbing his eyes as you untangle from him. you pad to the door on bare feet, peeking through the peephole â dejun stands in the hallwayâs harsh glow, jacket rumpled, hair tousled like heâs been pacing. his face is a mask of restraint but his eyes betray the storm, dark and searching. you ease the door open a crack, blocking the interior view, your heart thudding as you become very aware of winwinâs polo grazing your skin. the flush from your release still warms your cheeks and dejun clocks it instantly. his gaze rakes over you â the loose fabric, the tousled hair, the subtle scent of sex lingering. he knows the signs. hurt flickered in his expression, one he quickly buries.
âdejun?â your voice is hushed, threaded with concern and surprise. you lean into the frame, arms folding across your chest, which only draws the shirt tighter, âwhat are you doing here? itâs the middle of the night.â he rocks on his heels, hands jammed in his pockets, the faint buzz of the overhead lights underscoring the tension. sweat beads on his temple, breaths shallow, whatever drove him here â itâs urgent, unraveling him.
before he could answer, winwinâs voice drifts from the couch, warm and casual, âbabe? you good out there?â the endearment lands like a slap, dejunâs posture going rigid. your pulse spikes, heat flooding your face from the exposure. you twist slightly, calling back lightly, âyeah, just a second â itâs just a friend!â then you step into the hall fully, shutting the door with a soft click that seals the divide.
âbabe, huh?â dejun asks, trying his best to hide the jealousy in his tone, âiâm guessing itâs going really well?â
you force out a smile, âitsâŚnew,â you shrug, âbut what about you? you seemâŚwrecked. what happened after i left?â
his eyes hold yours and for a split second, the facade crumbles, jealousy raw and exposed, mirroring your own from the party. he can smell the man on you, the strong cedar blending with your arousal. but he inhales sharply, forcing a grin thatâs all teeth, no warmth, the staged smile cracking under the strain, ânothing bad. justâŚthe party wrapped up and i nailed the flirting. she was all over it. laughed at my jokes, touched my arm. felt good, yâknow? like i finally got it right.â
pride swells in you despite the undercurrent, a real smile breaking through as you step closer, âthatâs awesome. tell me moreâŚ.are you gonna see her again?â
he laughs but itâs strained. his gaze dipping to the poloâs neckline where it slips, revealing a hint of your collarbone. pretending doesnât suit him â he tries to hide the effort in his clenched jaw, the subtle flex of his hands like he aches to pull you close. for an actor, this role is torture. he shakes his head, grin faltering, âi donât knowâmaybeâbut âŚitâs late and youâre obviouslyâŚbusy. we can talk about it tomorrow. get back inside before you freeze,â he forces a smile, nodding towards your door.
guilt twists in your gut and youâre not even sure why. technically, you didnât do anything wrong. you didnât owe anyone any explanations, especially not the boy in front of you. but on instinct, before he could turn away to leave, you grasp his wrist, his skin feverish against yours, pulse racing under your fingers. itâs gentle, inviting, your eyes pleading, âwait. you came all this way â spill now. i want to hear it.â
he stills at your touch, his thumb grazing your knuckles in a fleeting stroke, stare intense enough to pin you. vulnerability surges through him, maybe heâll confess the jealousy, the partyâs hollow victory, how your absence gutted him. but instead, he withdraws slowly, that brittle smile reforming like a shield, ânah, itâs not that exciting. letâs talk tomorrow,â his tone stays level but the edge cuts, eyes tracing your throat where faint marks from winwins mouth was starting to show.
you didnât want him to go. youâd rather spend the night listening to him talk than go back into your apartment. but instead you release him, nodding with a feigned ease, âokay. but text me first thing and you better not leave out any details.â
âpromise,â he says softly, sending you one last smile before retreating, posture deflating as he turns. his footsteps recede down the corridor, swallowed by the buildingâs hum. you linger at the door, fingers on the knob, an empty pang settling deep. shaking it off. you reenter your apartment, winwin lounges on the couch, arms outstretched, his smile welcoming as you curl into him, cheeks into his chest, âeverything okay?â he murmurs, hand stroking your hair with that innate kindness, ready to support without question. âyeahâ you lie, nestling closer. winwinâs heartbeat is steady, comforting but as his touch roams idly, unease festers. the conversations were great, the sex was fine, orgasms delivered â but it was all bland. a checklist without fire. winwinâs perfection, his nice-guy reliability, once your idealâŚnow highlights the void. you donât care about the boxes anymore. someone else is invading your thoughts, his imperfect sparks igniting what this safe harbor canât.
đŻ NOVEMBER 9 â SILENCE đŻ
winwin leaves a little past noon. he stands in your doorway with his shoes tied and his hair still damp from the shower he took in your bathroom â your bathroom, your space, your morning light spilling over his shoulders like he belongs there. he doesnât. not really. but he fits in clean, undemanding lines. he fits the way a perfectly drawn blueprint fits a building that hasnât been built yet. predictable. safe. good on paper. he leans down and presses a soft kiss to your cheek, a gentle brush of lips that should make your heart flutter. it doesnât.
âi had a good time,â he says, smiling that warm calm smile. you nod, polite, warm enough to not raise questions, cold enough to feel wrong in your own skin, âme too. text me when you get home.â
he gives your hand one last squeeze, then steps into the hallway. as soon as the door clicks shut behind him, the apartment deflates into heavy, suffocating silence. and your chest feels like its been scooped hollow. you try not to look at your phone. you fail. still no message from dejun. you inhale sharply through your nose and lock your phone with more force than necessary. you turn on the t.v., curl up on your couch and pretend the hollow ache in your ribs is something else entirely.
by 3p.m. you tell yourself youâre grabbing your phone to check the time. you know thatâs a lie. the huge clock above youâre t.v. mocking you. and yet, your thumb unlocks the screen. still nothing. you stare for a moment too long, waiting for the notification banner that never appears. not even a ghost vibration. not even a stupid meme. you lock your phone, tossing it onto the couch like it was the one who offended you. you refuse to be that girl â the one who waits around for a boy to text her. so you busy yourself instead. you try to clean the kitchen. you try to run laundry. you try to find a show on neftlix. it lasts twenty minutes before the nervous tug in your chest grows unbearable. you pick up your phone again. still nothing. your jaw tightens. fine. whatever. youâre not chasing after a man.
but he said âpromise.â he said it with a small, earnest smile, like he meant it. and the fact that he didnât follow through gnaws at you in slow, patient bites. you sit cross-legged on the couch, thumb hovering over the keyboard while your heart beats too loudly in your ears, finally losing. you type something simple, a little comedic.
y/n: hey
y/n: where was the tea i was promised?
you stare at it for three full minutes before hitting send.
delivered.
the little status taunts you as you wait. five minutes. ten. thirty. the message stays exactly as it is. no read. no bubble. no reply. your stomach sinks. a stupid, ridiculous reaction. you know better. youâve always known better. so you throw your phone aside and fold your arms as if physical stubbornness can override emotional hurt. it doesnât. hours crawl by, the golden hour turning to blue. you cook dinner with his name in the back of your head. you shower wondering why itâs too quiet. your brain keeps circling the same thought like a moth drawn to dying flame â why isnât he here?
you try to tell yourself itâs nothing. heâs busy. he forgot. he got distracted. exceptâŚhe doesnât forget things you ask him. he doesnât get distracted when it comes to you. youâve seen how he looks at you â sharp, attentive, always tuned in. so nowâŚ.the silence feels intentional. you swallow hard, throat tightening around a truth you donât want to name â this hurts. more than it should. more than youâre willing to admit to anyone, especially yourself. you sit on the edge of your bed later that night, the glow of your phone screen the only light in the room. still delivered. still unanswered. âfine,â you whisper into the dark, âlet him disappear. iâm over it.â
ęˇęŚ
meanwhile on the other side of campus, dejun doesnât get up right away. he lies flat on his back, staring at the ceiling, replaying last night in a loop so painful it borders on masochistic. the way he knocked desperately on your apartment door. the way winwinâs voice punched him right in the gut. the way his own heart had stopped, just for a second, before he forced himself to smile.
he swallows the memory like a pill too large to choke down. his phone buzzes beside him. your message. he sees the preview. his chest tightens. he doesnât open it. he canât stand the idea of reading your words while your necks till carries traces of winwinâs mouth. he canât stand the thought of wanting you while imagining you curled into someone elseâs chest. he knows heâs pathetic. he knows heâs avoiding the truth like a coward. he tells himself heâs protecting his heart. he tells himself heâs resetting boundaries. he tell himself anything except the truth â heâs terrified. he wants you too much. and itâs already too late.
đŻ NOVEMBER 10 â SHUHUA đŻ
dejun wakes up hating himself a little. hating the silence between you even more. so he picks the most avoidant solution imaginable â he texts shuhua. the girl he rejected. the girl he left flustered and embarrassed.
xiaojun: uh hey, this is xiaojun, i got your number from hendery
xiaojun: about the other nightâŚiâm really sorry, i think the tequila was messing with me đ
he stares at the ridiculous message. itâs a terrible excuse. he knows it. he hates himself for sending it. but he needs something to fill the void. he needs noise. chaos. distraction. anything except the hollow ache under his ribs. and shuhua responds almost instantly.
shuhua: LMAOOOO
shuhua: guys are dumb when they drink
shuhua: iâll forgive you if you take me out for coffee later ;)
a normal person would decline. a rational person would decline. xiaojun is neither of those things right now. so he says sure. because itâs easier than facing the weight of what he actually wants.
he sits across from shuhua at the campusâ cafe. sheâs bright, bold, funny. she tilts her head when she listens. she touches his wrist when she laughs. it should be easy. it should be everything he has always wanted. he tells himself: sheâs into you. she likes you. it could be something. that should have been enough. except for one glaring truth â every time she smiles, heâs painfully aware itâs not your smile. he stirs his coffee until the ice melts into nothing. he thinks about texting you. he doesnât.
đŻ NOVEMBER 11 - MIRROR đŻ
you wake with the dull ache of someone who didnât really sleep. your phone is under your pillow. you donât need to check it to know there were no new messages. at least, not from the person you wanted. and yet you still check â delivered. still. your stomach twists, not sharply this time, but the slow churn of something you refuse to label disappointment. fine. whatever. you told yourself you were over it. you told yourself he didnât matter. he didnât owe you anything. itâs not like you guys were actually friends. and maybe the lies sound truer the more often you repeat them. so you pull yourself out of bed and you move on with your day.
somewhere around 10 a.m. your phone buzzes â not the name you want.
winwin: good morning đĽ
winwin: lunch later?
your throat tightens inconveniently. you owe him nothing. you owe him something. you donât know. but you do know this â heâs actually into you. so you say yes.
winwin takes you somewhere quiet, tucked between a flower shop and a stationary store. he orders for both of you, remembering your favorite drink without hesitation. heâs perfect, like always. he talks gently about his morning, about a stray cat heâs been feeding, about a book he thinks you might like. and you try. try so hard to be present. you nod. you smile. you laugh when youâre supposed to. but your chest feels too tight. winwin notices, of course he does.
âare you okay?,â he asks, brows softening and you hate how close you come to saying no. you hate how badly you want to spill everything into someoneâs hands just to stop holding it alone. you settle on a lie that feels thin, âjust tired.â he accepts it. he doesnât push. his hand brushes yours â slow, comforting, careful and you let it stay. you let him reach for you. you let yourself lean an inch closer. you let yourself pretend, for a few minutes, that this could be enough. but your heart is quiet in your chest like itâs missing a beat it shouldnât be missing.
ęˇęŚ
back in campus, xiaojun sits across from shuhua in the same cafe from yesterday. sheâs dressed cutely, lip gloss on, hair pinned back, smile bright in a way that should work on him. and heâs trying, god, heâs trying, to let it mean something. he nods when she talks, he laughs when she nudges him, he lets her fingers brush his when she leans across the table to show him a photo.
on the outside, he looks normal. better, even. confident. on the inside? heâs miserable. he keeps hearing your voice. keeps replaying your message. keeps thinking of you with someone else. he forces another smile that feels wrong on his face. shuhua doesnât notice. or maybe she chooses not to.
ęˇęŚ
winwin pays the bill before you even notice the waiter coming. he helps you with your coat. he walks you to the bus stop with your hands tucked into his pockets as he cast soft glances your way. you tell yourself itâs nice. you tell yourself youâre lucky. you tell yourself this is everything you used to want. you tell yourself so many things. but when he hugs you goodbye, your heart doesnât lurch, your breath doesnât catch, your skin doesnât spark. itâs all pleasant, soft, safe â and heartbreakinglyâŚempty.
when you step inside your apartment again, you check your phone. not because youâre waiting. just because. at least thatâs what youâve convinced yourself to think. still delivered. still unread. still no dejun. your throat tightens, âright,â you whisper to the quiet room, âit really doesnât matter.â but your chest disagrees.
đŻ NOVEMBER 14 - FINAL EXAM đŻ
you donât even see him coming. one second youâre walking down the aisle of the library, balancing a stack of returns against your chest, tote bag slipping down your arm and the next â you round the corner and collide with someone hard enough that the breath is knocked out of you. your shoulder hits solid warmth. his grip brushes your elbow as he instinctively tries to steady you. but itâs too late. the books go flying, scattering across the carpet in a chaotic tumble of paper and color, thumping loud enough that a student two tables over looks up sharply.
âshitââ your voice cracks on impact.
âoh fuckâsorryââ another voice answers, low, familiar, startled. you freeze. no. it canât be. you crouch automatically, reaching for the nearest book. he does too. your hands collide, fingers brushing, your skin remembering him before your brain does â the warmth, the shiver, the electric little pause. you snatch your hand back, he does the same, almost like touching you burned. neither of you look up. your pulse is ridiculous and fluttering too fast, too high in your throat. you stack the books back into your tote with shaking hands, not daring to look at him, too focused on the mess, on the frantic need to do something with your hands. he picks up the last book slowly, almost reluctantly, like the moment represents something neither of you are ready to acknowledge. then he holds it out for you take, fingers grazing again.
finally, painfully, you both straighten to standing and then you look up â dejun. he goes still. you go still. the air between you shifts like one wrong move might shatter the entire week of silence into pieces you canât sweep away. his eyes widen for a millisecond before he forces them into something neutral. he clears his throat once, too softly, âoh. hey.â
you swallow, âhey.â then the silence drops between you â thick, awkward, heavy with everything unsaid. you hug the book to your chest as if it might steady your pulse. he shoves his hands into his pockets like he doesnât trust them not to reach out for you.
he forces a breathy laugh, âsorry about theâŚuh,â he gestures to the floor, to the chaos. he still doesnât leave, but you sense it, the shift in his weight, the subtle lean of his body like heâs preparing to bolt at the first opening. except â you donât let him. before he can retreat, you step a half foot closer.
âare you avoiding me?â your voice isnât harsh or accusing, just tired and soft, the question has been sitting in your ribs for days.
he shakes his head immediately, too quickly, âiâm not.â you raise a brow. he tries again. âiâm not avoiding you, itâs justââ he hesitates. you watch the words gather on his tongue, watch him struggle to choose the least painful lie. then, finally, âwellâŚremember the girl i was flirting with at the party?"
your stomach tightens, âi wouldnât know,â you reply, tone even but sharpened at the edges, âyou never came back to tell me how it went.â
the jab lands. you see it. you feel it. his expression falters for the first time. but instead of telling the truth, instead of saying i panicked, i only left because i saw you with him, you have no idea how badly i wanted to talk to you, to tell you â he reaches for a mask instead. a small, humorless laugh, âuhâŚ.yeah. wellâŚ.everything went great.â
you feel it physically, a pinprick in your chest, âgreat,â you echo quietly.
he looks away, guilt flickering over his features before he drowns it, âyeah, iâve been seeing her this weekâŚwhich is why i havenât been able to reply.â
the world goes very still. itâs a lie. you know it. he knows it. how hard is it to reply to a text message? weâre on our phones every second of the damn day. but he says it anyway and the words settle between you like alcohol on a fresh wound. you refuse to give him the satisfaction of seeing it hurt, so you breathe once, slow and deliberate and you say, âsoâŚthatâs it?â
he blinks, âwhat?â
your throat tightens but you keep your tone steady, except for the thin thread of sadness woven through it, âyou finally have enough confidence to chat a girl upâŚto know how to be a good lover,â you say, eyes flicking to his, âand we justâŚnever have to speak anymore?â
the reaction is immediate. his face collapses, just slightly, just enough, like you punched the air out of him. regret floods his eyes. and something else heâs terrified to name. he opens his mouth. no sound comes out. he tries again, âi justâŚ.i figured since youâre with winwin now and i have someone, maybe itâs best we stop?...our relationship isnât exactlyâŚappropriate.â
your chest twists, âi thought we were friends?â you whisper more to yourself than him but he hears it anyway. you hide the flicker of pain behind a soft shrug, âbut noâŚyouâre right.â the words hang there, cold and quiet. and then you double your mask, slipping into the familiar armor of humor. you force a light laugh, âwellâŚthis feels very anticlimacticâŚthought weâd be celebrating this day or something.â he forces one too, uneasy, thin. you keep going because if you donât keep talking, you might actually feel something. âyou knowâŚi still need to test if what youâre saying is true. a teacher should make sure their student is actually good before completely letting go.â
his brows tighten, âiâŚdonât think another lesson is a good idea.â
you snort softly, ânot a lesson,â you tilt your head, eyes narrowing with a teasing glint that hides the hurt underneath, âyour final exam.â
his breath catches. you smile, wide sharp, too bright, âand anywayâŚyouâre still my matchmaker, arenât you? shouldnât you at least see if i got the perfect match?â
he blinks, confused, âwhatâŚ.like, a double date?â
the idea lands between you. not gently. not cleanly. it drops like something fragile and dangerous, a glass ornament hitting the floor in slow motion. ridiculous. painful. dejunâs brows knit, confusion flickering his face, but underneath the hesitation, the defensiveness, the lie he told about shuhua, thereâs something else trembling at the edges of his expression. fear. curiosity. want. all tangled together. he shifts his weight from one foot to the other, starting at you like heâs trying to figure out if youâre joking or if this is another test heâs destined to fail.
you shrug, casual, practiced, pretending your heart isnât beating straight through your ribs, âyeah, exactly.â you watch the words sink in. you see the moment he realizes what youâre really saying â if youâre so sure we donât matter, prove it. if you want to play lovers with someone else, do it in front of me. if weâre nothing, why does this hurt?
his throat bobs as he swallows. his fingers curl deeper into his pockets. he looks down at the floor for a breath, maybe two. when he lifts his gaze again, his eyes are guarded, warm in that complicated, wounded way when someoneâs trying to pretend something isnât tearing them open from the inside, âyouâre serious?â
you nod, letting your smile grow sharp around the edges, âyou said it yourself. you have someone now. i have someone now,â you tilt your head, âseems like the logical next step, right? the big finale.â
he flinches, so subtly, but enough that the air shifts again. and then something inside him settles. like he decides if this is the game you want to play, then heâll play it. even if it kills him. even if itâs already killing him, â...okay.â the word is small. delicate. dangerous. âokay,â he says again, firmer this time, âa double date.â
your breath catches. and for a moment, just a moment, you both stand there in the quiet aisle of the library, surrounded by half-organized books and the ghost of the last five days, staring at each other like youâve made a terrible mistake neither of you can undo. because the truth hangs between you, unspoken and too loud â this wonât fix anything. it wonât make the week of silence disappear. it wonât make the ache smaller. if anything, it will magnify it. rip it open. stretch it thin. force you both to look at the parts of yourselves youâve been running from. and yet â dejun nods once. you nod back. and just like that, the double date is born. slow. messy. doomed.
đŻ NOVEMBER 15 - THE DOUBLE DATE đŻ
the restaurantâs ambient glow casted soft shadows across the table, the air thick with the scent of garlic and red wine. youâd been trading stories and laughs, but the undercurrent of tension simmered just beneath, your hand occasionally brushing winwinâs thigh under the table to emphasize your point about how âperfectâ it all was.
across from you, dejun had been flawless â leaning in close to shuhua, his voice low and teasing as he complimented her laugh, her dress, the way her eyes lit up when she talked about cosmetology. every move screamed the lessons youâd poured into him â confidence, subtle touches, that magnetic pull that made her hang on his words.
shuhua took a bite of her dessert, a flaky pastry that crumbled slightly, leaving a tiny speck on her lower lip. she didnât notice but dejun did. his gaze softened, and without hesitation, he reached across, his thumb gently brushing the crumb away. his touch lingered a second too long, intimate and tender, his eyes locking with hers as she blinked in surprise, then smiled, her cheeks flushing, âthere,â he murmured, voice gently. your fork paused mid-air, a sharp pang twisting in your chest. the casual affection, the way his fingers had grazed her skin â it hit like a punch to your gut. pride in his progress warred with something raw and jealous, your boasts about winwin suddenly tasting like ash. you couldnât sit there another second, watching him unravel everything youâd taught him on someone else.
âi need the bathroom,â you said abruptly, sliding out of the booth with a tight smile. winwinâs hands fell away from your shoulder, concern flickering in his eyes but you waved it off, âbe right back.â
the hallway to the restrooms was dimly lit, the murmur of the dining room fading behind you. you pushed open the door to the single-occupancy bathroom, stepping inside and reaching for the lock â but before you could turn it, the door swung wider. dejun slipped in behind you, his presence filling the small space like a storm. he shut the door with a decisive click, locking it, his back against it as if to barricade the world outside.
you whirled around, heart slamming against your ribs, âwhat the hell, xiaojun? get out.â
he didnât move, his chest heaving, eyes wild and desperate. nothing like the smooth charmer at the table. his hair was slightly mussed from running a hand through it and he looked every bit the mess youâd glimpsed in those vulnerable moments in between your lessons.
âi canât do this,â he rasped, voice breaking on the words, his hands clenching at his sides like he was fighting to reach for you. your eyes widened, shock rippling though you, âwhat?â
he stepped closer, the confined space forcing you back against the sink, his body heat radiating off him in waves, âif you touch his thigh one more time, iâm gonna crash out. i swear, i canât watch it.â his words tumbled out, raw and jagged, his gaze dropping to your lips, then back up, pleading.
âwhy?â you demanded, your voice barely above a whisper, pulse thundering in your ears.
âbecause!â he threw his hands up, frustrating etching lines on his face, his composure shattering bit by bit.
âbecause what?â you crossed your arms, stepping into his space, challenging him. you were tired of the ignoring, the ghosting, the silence that had left you chasing shadows. you needed it straight. you wanted to hear it out loud.
he laughed, a bitter, choked sound that didnât reach his eyes, his hands finally moving to grip the edge of the sink on either side of you, caging you in without touching, âbecause iâm in love with you.â
the words hung in the air, heavy and electric. shock froze you, your breath caught, eyes searching his face for the lie, the joke. youâd braced for âlikeâ, maybe a confession of a silly crush born from your tangled nightsâŚ.but âloveâ?
you quirked a brow, skepticism sharpening your tone even as your heart raced, âdonât say things you donât mean.â
dejunâs chuckle came again, darker this time, laced with self-loathing as he leaned in closer, âi canât stop thinking about you. every second. kissing someone else feels wrong. seeing you with him makes me want to set myself on fire just to feel something that hurts less than this ache,â his voice cracked, eyes glistening with unshed tears, no more masks, just raw, aching need, âif this isnât love, then what the hell is it? tell me, because i donât know how to make it stop.â
the weight of his confession pressed against you, the air in the bathroom thick and humid, mirroring the storm raging inside. your back was still against the sink, his hands gripping the edges, but now his fingers loosened, one hand lifting slowly to cup your jaw gently, thumb brushing across your lower lip, soft and tentative, tracing the curve as if memorizing it.
âwhat is it, huh, honey?â he murmured, voice low and coaxing, his breath warm against your skin.
you held his gaze, refusing to melt under his touch, your chest rising and falling with the effort to keep your walls up, âyou canât call me that,â you said firmly, voice steady despite the tremor in your core, ânot after you spent a week ignoring me then acting like everythingâs perfect between you and her. i waited for you, xiaojun. i sat there like an idiot, checking my phone, wondering what the hell i did wrong.â
his expression crumpled, fading into something raw and remorseful. his thumb stilled on your lip, eyes desperately searching yours, âiâm sorry,â he whispered, the words cracking as he leaned in closer, âiâm so sorry. that night, the way you looked â i couldnât handle it. it ripped me apart, thinking you were moving onâŚthat iâd lost my chance before i even had one.â you didnât answer. still processing it all. but then he pulled back just enough to meet your eyes again, his hand still cradling your face, âtell meâŚdo you like him? really like him?â
the question hung between you, vulnerable and piercing, each second of silence pinching his heart. your heart twisted â winwin was nice, steady, everything youâd thought you wanted. but here, trapped in this tiny space with dejunâs heat surrounding you, the truth clawed its way out. âheâs nice,â you admitted, your voice softening against your will, âperfect. even. but it doesnât feel right. not likeââ
you didnât finish. couldnât finish. because he caught the unspoken words, his eyes darkening with a mix of relief and hunger and before you could continue, his mouth crashed onto yours, desperate and claiming, lips moving with a fervor that stole your breath. you kissed him back just as fiercely, tongues tangling in a messy, heated dance, your hands fisting in his shirt as you poured all the frustration and longing into it. he tasted like the wine from dinner and something uniquely him.
his free hand slid down your body, bunching up the fabric of your skirt, fingers brazing the bare skin of your thighs before pushing your panties aside. the touch was electric, sending a jolt straight to your core, ânot like this,â he finished for you against your lips, voice husky as he broke the kiss just long enough to nip at your bottom lip.
âdejun,â you breathed, half-protest, half-inviation, but your body betrayed you, arching into his touch as his fingers found your slick folds.
âtell me you donât want this,â he whispered, capturing your mouth again in a slower, deeper kiss while his middle finger circled your entrance, teasing the heat there, âtell me to stop and i willâŚbut god, iâve missed touching you like this,â he pushed in slowly, one finger curling inside you, stroking that sensitive spot that made your knees buckle. you gasped into his mouth, the sound muffled as you kissed him harder, your hips bucking against his hand. he added a second finger, thrusting deeper, his thumb finding your clit and rubbing firm, deliberate circles that had you clenching around him. breaking the kiss, he trailed his lips to your ear, breath hot and ragged, âdoes he touch you like this?â he murmured, voice laced with jealousy and need, his fingers pumping faster, the wet sounds echoing obscenely in the small room as he claimed you with every stroke, âdoes he make you this wet, honey? make you forget everything else?â
your head fell back against the mirror, a moan slipping out as pleasure coiled tight in your belly but you pulled him back for another kiss, swallowing his groans as your tongues battled for dominance, âno,â you admitted between kisses, nails digging into his shoulders, âno one touches me like you do.â
he stilled for a heartbeat, his fingers buried deep inside you, eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that pinned you in place. then slowly, he withdrew them, just enough to tease your entrance again, thumb circling your clit with agonizing precision, âthen say it,â he demanded, voice rough and commanding, leaning in to capture your lips in a possessive kiss that left you breathless, thrusting his fingers back in hard, curling them against that spot that made your stars burst behind your eyelids, âsay youâre mine. admit it, honey â tell me youâre all mine and no one elseâs.â
you whimpered into his mouth, the words tumbling out as your body surrendered to the building pressure, âiâm yours,â you gasped, breaking the kiss to meet his gaze, the admission raw and freeding, âfuck, dejun, iâm yours.â
a triumphant groan rumbled from his chest and he rewarded you by pumping his fingers faster, scissoring them to stretch you wider, his thumb pressing relentless on your clit, âall mine,â he growled against your lips, sealing the words with another deep kiss, the pressure building until your thighs trembled, breaths coming in short, desperate pants mingled with the slick slide of your lips. all you could feel was him â his touch, his kisses, the raw confessions tangled with filthy praise, âthatâs it, honey, grind on my fingers. fuck, youâre perfect â come for me, pleaseâŚ.i need it,â and with a final curl of his fingers, you shattered, walls fluttering around his digits, your cry muffled against his mouth. he held you through it, slowing his movements but not stopping, drawing out every aftershock until you sagged against him.
he withdrew his fingers gently, bringing them to his lips to suck them clean, eyes locked on yours with unfiltered adoration. the afterglow lingered like a haze, your body humming from the release, breaths syncing in the quiet aftermath. dejunâs arms wrapped around you, holding you close against his chest, his heartbeat steady under your ear. for a moment, neither of you spoke, just the soft rhythm of breathing filling the small space. his fingers traced lazy patters on your back, gentle and reassuring, as if anchoring you both to this fragile peace. you pulled back slightly, meeting his eyes â soft now, stripped of the earlier desperation, filled instead with a quiet hope, âwe should get back,â you murmured. he nodded but his hand lingered on your waist, helping you smooth down your skirt with careful touches, tucking a stray hair behind your ear. you returned the favor, straightening his collar, brushing your fingers over the faint flush on his cheeks, wiping away a smudge of your lipstick from his lips with your thumb. it was intimate, these small acts, a silent promise woven into the mundane.
as you turned toward the door, his hand caught your wrist, fingers warm and firm, stopping you in your tracks, âyouâll end it with him, right?â his voice was low, vulnerable, eyes searching yours for the certainty he craved.
you scoffed lightly, an amused curve to your lips despite the weight of the question, âwhat do you think?â without waiting for his reply, you tugged him down, capturing his mouth in one last kiss â slow and deep, pouring all the unspoken assurances into it. his lips moved against yours with a tenderness that made your chest ache, his hand cupping your face as if savoring every second. when you finally broke away, the bathroom felt smaller, the air charged but resolved. you slipped out first, heart pounding as you made your way back to the table, dejun following a beat later to avoid suspicion. the restaurant's hum enveloped you again, the clink of glasses and murmur of conversations, a stark contrast to the intensity you'd left behind. winwin and shuhua were deep in discussion, heads bent close over some shared story, laughter bubbling between themâcompletely oblivious to the storm that had just passed. you slid into your seat beside winwin, the fabric of your skirt settling as you forced a casual expression.
he turned to you immediately, brow furrowing just a touch, âhey, what took so long? everything okay?â his concern was genuine, warm as always, but it twisted something inside you. you met his gaze, the apology already shining in your eyes âsoft, regretful, a silent prelude to what was coming, âyeahâŚthere was a long line,â you glanced at dejun one last time before leaning in closer, voice dropping, âcan we talk outside? just you and me?â
winwin's smile faltered slightly, a flicker of confusion crossing his features, but he nodded without hesitation, ever the steady one, âof course. lead the way.â
the cool night air brushed against your skin as you stepped outside the restaurant with winwin, the door swinging shut behind you with a soft thud. the street was quieter here, away from the lively hum inside, lit by the warm glow of string lights draped over the entrance. you leaned against the brick wall, arms crossed loosely, searching for the right words while winwin stood facing you, his posture relaxed but attentive, hands tucked into his pockets. he tilted his head slightly, that gentle concern still in his eyes. âwhat's going on? you look like you've got something heavy on your mind.â
you took a breath, âwinwin, i... i need to be honest with you,â the words tumbling out before you could second-guess them. he nodded, urging you to go on. thereâs never an easy way to end things. never an easy way to reject someone. so you just hit him with honesty.
âtonightâŚseeing xiaojunâit's made everything clear. i know this might be coming out of nowhere but i realized i have feelings for himâŚ.and i can't ignore them anymore â this, us... it's not fair to you. i thought maybe it could work, but it doesn't feel right.â you kept your voice steady, omitting the raw intensity of the bathroom, the confessions and touches that still lingered on your skin like a secret.
winwin's expression softened, no trace of anger or surprise twisting his features â just understanding, the kind that came so naturally to him. he nodded slowly, exhaling as if he'd sensed it coming, âi appreciate you telling me now, before things went further. really, thank you for that. it means a lot that you're being upfront,â his tone was sincere, laced with that unwavering kindness, like he was more concerned about your honesty than his own disappointment.
you stared at him, a wave of awe washing over you. how could someone handle this with such grace? âyou're too nice, winwin. seriously. any girl would be so lucky to have you.â
he smiled then, a small, bittersweet curve of his lips, but you caught the flicker of pain in his eyes, the subtle shadow that dimmed the warmth for just a moment, âit's just not my time, i guess,â he said softly, shrugging as if to brush it off, though the words carried a quiet weight.
âiâm sorry,â you murmured, the apology slipping out, heavy with regret for the hurt you knew you were causing, even if he hid it well.
âno need,â he shook his head gently, âwell, iâll just head back in, pay for our dinner, and be on my way.â
but that didn't sit right with you â the idea of him footing the bill after everything felt like one more layer of unfairness. you reached out, touching his arm lightly, âno, please. let it be on me. i still owe you for ruining your shirt that first time we met, remember?â
a soft laugh escaped him, light and genuine, easing the tension between you for a brief second, âokay. thank you. i wish you the bestâtruly. it was nice to meet you,â then he extended his hand, and you shook it, his grip firm and warm, a final gesture of respect before he turned and walked away, his figure fading into the night with that same unhurried poise.
meanwhile, back at the table, xiaojun sat across from shuhua, the remnants of their untouched meal growing cold between them. the restaurant's ambient chatter filled the air, but the space around them felt thick with unspoken tension. he shifted in his seat, rubbing his palms against his thighs before finally meeting her eyes, âshuhua, i need to explain something,â he started, his voice low and steady, though his fingers drummed nervously on the tablecloth. she looked at him with a raised eyebrow and he took it as a sign to continue,
âthat night at the party...when i left you like that? it wasn't random. i realized i had feelings for someone else,â he glanced at you from the window, shuhua following his line of vision, âand those feelings hit me hardâŚthey never really went away, they've been here, building up, and tonight...i,â then he glanced back at her. he could almost see the puzzle piecing together in her brain, âi couldn't pretend anymore.'
shuhua's fork clattered against her plate, her eyes narrowing as the words sank in. her face flushed, a mix of betrayal and anger twisting her features, âyou were the one who reached out to me,â her voice rose, sharp enough to draw a few glances from nearby tables, âyou were the one who asked me out on this date.â
xiaojun winced, leaning forward, âiâm sorry. i thought i could move on, butââ before he could finish, shuhua's hand shot out, the slap landing across his cheek with a resounding crack that silenced their corner of the room. his head snapped to the side, the sting blooming hot and immediate. she stood abruptly, chair scraping back, her chest heaving, âyou're a dick, xiaojun. you couldâve just left me alone. donât ever contact me again.â then she stormed toward the exit, heels clicking furiously against the floor.
as you pushed through the door back into the restaurant, shuhuaâs glare locked onto you like a laser â pure venom, accusatory and raw â before she shoved past and disappeared into the night. you spotted dejun at the counter, handing over his card to the cashier, his back to you. the red handprint on his cheek stood out starkly under the warm lighting, already starting to swell. he turned as the receipt printed, catching your eye with a rueful half-smile.
âiâm guessing she didn't take that very well,â you said, stepping closer, your gaze flicking to the mark.
he chuckled softly, âno, she didn't. how was winwin?'
you shrugged, the weight of the conversation outside still lingering but lighter now, âhe wasâŚ.nice. the usual.â without thinking, you reached for his hand, your fingers intertwining with his, âcome on, let's ice that thing.â he squeezed your hand back, his smile widening into something genuine and relieved. you headed out of the restaurant together, the cool evening breeze greeting you as you stepped into the street, faces lit with matching grins that chased away the night's earlier shadows.
đŻ NOVEMBER 15 - I DONâT WANT TO RUSH đŻ
the door to your apartment clicks shut behind you, the familiar creak of the hinges echoing softly in the quiet space, dejun still holding the ice pack that you bought at the convenience store across the restaurant against his cheek. he kicks off his shoes haphazardly by the entryway, strides to your kitchen counter, and tossed it down your sink with a faint thud, the chill forgotten as his eyes lock onto yours.
in two quick steps, he's closing the distance, hands finding your waist and pulling you flush against him. his lips crash into yours, warm and insistent, tasting faintly of the mint he'd popped on the walk over, âi missed you,â he murmurs against your mouth, the words sweet and laced with that raw honesty you've come to crave. you smirk into the kiss, your hand rising to cup his cheek, still tender from the slap. your thumb brushes over the fading red mark, gentle but teasing.
âwell, no one told you to go disappearing,â you say, pulling back just enough to meet his gaze, your voice light but pointed, âby the way,â you smile, warm eyes locked on his whispering a soft, âi love you, too.â
his grin spreads wide, lighting up his face like the city lights filtering through the window, âyou don't have to say it just because i said it.â
you shake your head no, fingers tracing the line of his jaw, âyou're right. i canât stop thinking about you either. another guy's touch felt wrongâi just wanted to keep being with you, talking to you⌠even if I was left on delivered,â you tease.
he chuckles, the sound low and rumbling in his chest, vibrating against you, âiâ'm never doing that again. that was the worst week of my life.â your laughter bubbles up, free and genuine, and he seizes the moment, leaning in to kiss you softly. his lips move slow, savoring, sending warmth pooling low in your belly. itâs tender, this exchange, no rush, just the two of you breathing each other in, the earlier chaos of the night melting away.
but the sweetness doesn't stay soft for long. his hands slide up your sides, thumbs grazing the undersides of your breasts through your shirt, and you arch into him with a soft sigh. you back toward the hallway, lips locked, never breaking the connection as he follows, his body pressing you onward. your fingers tangle in his hair, tugging lightly to angle his head deeper, and he groans into your mouth, the sound hungry.
your bedroom door swings open. dejunâs mouth is on yours before you can catch your breath, his kisses turning languid, exploratory, lips brushing, tongues teasing without hurry. you melt into him, hands sliding under his shirt to feel the warm planes of his back, pulling him closer as you both ease toward your bed. he guides you down onto the mattress, his body following, settling between your legs with a careful weight that pins you just enough to spark heat, hips pressing forward in a slow, deliberate grind against your core. the rough denim of his jeans drags over your panties, the friction immediate and teasing, sending sparks up your spine. you gasp into his mouth, legs parting wider and he rocks again, harder this time, his cock straining through the fabric. itâs torturous, the barrier keeping everything just out of reach, building that ache deep in your belly as his movements stay unhurried, syncing with the deepening of your kiss.
he breaks off the kiss to trail kisses from your mouth to your jaw, nipping softly at the skin there, then down the column of your throat, deliberate and slow, his breath fanning hot over your pulse as he sucks a mark, making you arch into the grind of his hips. the pressure builds with every roll â his bulge catching your clit, making your thighs tremble as you soak through your underwear.
âhoney, i really, really need you,â he whispers against your collarbone, voice rough with unspoken want, his hands framing your hips to hold you steady while he humps forward again, the motion pulling a low whine from your throat.
you tilt your head to meet his eyes, fingers threading through his hair, âyou have me, dejun.â but his gaze is distant, stormy with something deeper than lust, vulnerability flickering in the way his brows furrow. he presses another kiss to the hollow of your throat, lips lingering as if drawing strength from you, all while his hips circles yours in a lazy rhythm, denim scraping deliciously against your swollen folds.
âare you scared?â you ask softly, your thumb stroking his cheek, even as you lift your hips to meet his next thrust, your bodies finding a shared pace that has sweat beading on his forehead.
he pauses, mouth hovering over the swell of your breast, exhaling shakily, âwhat if i canât satisfy you?â
âyou donât have to worry about that,â you murmur, cupping his face to pull him up for a gentle kiss, reassuring him with the press of your lips, âwe can take it at your pace.â his eyes soften, but the doubt lingers.
âwhy not?â his voice cracks just a little, eyes searching yours as he hovers above you, body tense with restraint.
âbecause itâs you,â you say simply, your hands slipping down to tug at his shirt, urging it up and over his head. he lets you, tossing it aside, and then his fingers are at the hem of your top, lifting it slowly, exposing inch by inch of your skin to the cool air, leaving you in your bra. he stares for a moment, breath hitching, before leaning down to kiss the exposed curve of your shoulder, then your arm, trailing wet, open-mouthed kisses along your collarbone. his hands follow, palms gliding over your sides. he hooks his fingers into your bra straps, sliding them down your shoulders with agonizing slowness, his lips mapping every newly bared spot. when he reaches around to unclasp the bra, it falls away. he doesnât rush. instead, he cups one breast in his hand, thumb circling your nipple until hardened under his touch. his mouth follows, tongue flicking out to lap at the peak, soft and teasing at first, then closing his lips around it to suck gently.
you gasp, fingers lightly gripping his hair as pleasure sparks through you, slow building like a simmer, amplified by the persistent drag of his jeans against your soaked panties. he switches sides, giving the other nipple the same attention, licking flat and broad then pinching lightly between his fingers while he sucks, drawing out whimpers you canât hold back. his free hand roams lower, sliding up your skirt and cupping a cheek.
âletâs get this off,â he murmurs against your skin, voice husky, as his hands work your skirt and underwear down your legs, leaving you bare. his clothed cock presses directly against your pussy, and he rocks forward once, experimentally, the rough denim scrapes deliciously over your slick folds, his cock throbbing through the fabric, so close yet still held back by that last barrier. you reach up, cupping his face in both hands, thumbs brushing the sharp line of his jaw to ground him, to pull him back from the edge of his doubts.
âdejun,â you whisper, your voice soft but steady, eyes locking onto his stormy ones, âit doesnât have to be perfect. it just has to be us. right here, like this.â
his breath hitches, he swallows hard, forehead creasing over as he searches your face, âbutâŚiâve only done this once. and it was nothing. quick, awkward, i didnât even know what i was doing. what if iâm still that guy? what if i mess this up for you?â his voice cracks on the last word.
you shake your head gently, fingers trailing down to his neck, feeling the rapid flutter of his pulse, âhey, stop. that one time doesnât define you. this is different. youâre different with me.â his eyes flutter shut briefly, and you continue trying to reassure him, âwe can stop if you want but first tell me what youâre feeling.â
he exhales shakily, leaning down to press his lips to your collarbone, kissing the skin there softly before murmuring against it, âscared. excited. like my heartâs gonna burst if i donât get this right,â his hand slides up your side, palm warm and tentative as he cups your breast again, thumb circling the nipple heâd been sucking earlier, now red and sensitive from his attention, a soft moan slipping from your lips.
âyouâre already getting it right,â you breath, your hand covering his on your breast, guiding him to squeeze a little firmer, âfeel how wet i am? thatâs because of you, dejun. the way youâre taking your time, touching me like you canât get enough.â
âreally?â he asks, voice small, almost boyish, as he lifts his head to meet your gaze again, âi keep thinking about how you helped me before, all those tipsâŚbut this doesnât feel like practice. it feelsâŚreal.â
you smile up at him, pulling him down for a slow kiss, tongues sliding lazily as your legs wrap tighter around his waist, âthatâs because this isnât practice,â you murmur when you break apart, nipping at his lower lip, âitâs just us figuring it out together. no tips. no lessons. just what feels good. what do you want right now?â
he hesitates, cheeks flushing deeper as he grinds down, the wet patch on his jeans darkening with your arousal, âi want to feel you,â he says, voice rough and low, eyes darkening with need, âall of you.â
âthen letâs start by taking this off,â you smile softly, your fingers unbuttoning his jeans. he lifts his hips to help, shoving the denim down his thighs along with his boxers in one hurried motion. his cock springs free, thick and hard, the tip already glistening with pre-cum, bobbing against his stomach as he kicks the clothes aside. the sight of him fully exposed like this â vulnerable, eager, his chest rising and falling rapidly, makes your core clench with anticipation. you glance up at him, hand hovering near his length but not quite touching yet, âdo you have a condom?â
dejun nods softly, his face turning an even deeper shade of red as he fumbles for his wallet tucked in the back pocket of his jeans now on the floor, pulling out a foil packet with trembling fingers, âyeah, iâŚhere,â he hands it over, avoiding your eyes for second, then muttered, âi have no idea if thatâs still good.â
you laugh lightly, the sound easing some of the tension in his shoulders as you turn the packet over, checking the expiration date, âyouâre good,â you assure him, tearing it open, âthereâs still a month left,â you smirk, making him chuckle in response.
âcan i put it on for you?â you ask. he nods in response and you rolled the condom onto his shaft, gripping him firmly and sliding the latex down inch by inch, feeling the heat of him pulse under your palm. he hisses sharply at the contact, hips jerking forward involuntarily, his hands fisting the sheets on either side of you.
âfuck,â he breathes, eyes squeezing shut for a moment before locking onto yours again, wide with a mix of nerves and desire. you guide him toward you then, positioning his body between your spread thighs, one hand on his hip to steady him while the other wraps around his covered cock, aligning the tip with your entrance. your pussy is soaked, slicked from all the grinding and his head nudges against your folds, parting them slightly. you look up at him for one last confirmation, searching his face â his brows furrowed, lips parted, that raw vulnerability shining through.
âjust push in when youâre ready,â you whisper, your voice gentle but encouraging, thumb stroking soothing circles on his hip.
dejun swallows hard, nodding as he braces one arm beside your head, the other hand reaching down to grip your thigh, holding it open wider, âokay,â he murmurs, more to himself than you, his breath hitching as he shifts forward. his tip presses in slowly, stretching your walls with a delicious burn and you both moan at the feeling of him sinking into your tight heat for the first time, inch by inch. his eyes flutter shut, a low groan rumbling from his chest as he bottoms out, hips flush against yours, filling you completely.
âoh, god,â he pants, forehead dropping to rest against your shoulder, body trembling above you, âyou feelâŚ.so good. so warm around me. is thisâŚam i hurting you?â
you shake your head, wrapping your arms around his back, nails lightly scraping down his spine to pull him closer, âno, dejun, it feels amazing. justâŚstay still for a second. let us both feel it.â your pussy flutters around him instinctively, drawing another hiss from his lips, and he buries his face in your neck, inhaling your scent as if grounding himself.
after a beat, he lifts his head, searching your eyes again, his own filled with that boyish uncertainty mixed with growing confidence, âwhat now? do iâŚ.move? tell me how it feels for you. i donât want to rush.â
âmove when it feels right,â you reply softly, rocking your hips up just a little to test the waters, the motion making his cock slide deeper before pulling back slightly. he mirrors it tentatively, a shallow thrust that has you moaning low in your throat, your pussy clenching around him in response, âlike that â slow at first. yeah, just like that. god, you fill me up so well.â
his thrusts gain a subtle rhythm, each one drawing out shared breaths and soft sounds, âdoes it feel good for you, too?â he asks between pants.
âit feels really good,â you assure him, meeting his next thrust with your own, the slap of skin growing wetter as your arousal coats him, âyouâre doing so good, dejun. keep talking to me â tell me what youâre thinking.â
he groans, pace quickening just a fraction, his free hand intertwining with yours as he guides it by your head, squeezing as he drives in deeper, âiâm thinkingâŚi never want this to end. the way you squeeze meâŚitâs like you're pulling me in. fuck, i can feel every inch of you gripping meâam i going too fast?â
âno, keep going,â you gasp, legs locking around his waist to urge him on, the coil in your belly tightening with each push. he rolled his hips experimentally, the head of his cock nudging different spots inside you until suddenly, on one upward tilt, he hit that perfect angle. it grazes your g-spot, sending a jolt of pleasure ripping through your core, stealing your breath, back arching off the bed as a gasp escapes you.
âoh fuck, dejunâright there,â you manage, voice breaking, and he freezes for a split second, realization dawning on his face before he does it again, deliberately angling his hips to hit that same spot. his tempo picks up, steady, pulling out almost to the tip then thrusting in deep, grinding against that sensitive spot with each pass. the slap of his hips against yours grows louder, wetter, your pussy sucking him in greedily and he groans low, sweat beading on his forehead as he watches your face twist in ecstasy.
âyouâre so tight,â he pants, his free hand sliding down to your hip, fingers digging in as he holds you steady for his thrusts, âi can feel you clenching around me,â his pace quickens just a notch, that angle making your breaths come in short, desperate bursts. heâs finding it now, the tempo that syncs with your bodyâs responses â the way your walls grip him tighter when he hits deep, the soft whimpers you let out that spur him on.
but his rhythm falters slightly, thrusts turning erratic as his own pleasure builds, face contorting with the effort to hold back, âiâm not gonna last long,â he confesses, voice raw and pleading, eyes locked on yours with that vulnerable intensity, âplease, please come with me. i want to feel you clench around me when you do.â
âokay,â you manage to whisper in between soft moans, nodding quickly, your hand slipping down between your bodies without hesitation. your fingers find your clit, swollen and slick from everything and you start rubbing firm circles, the added pressure making your pussy tighten even more around his pounding cock, pushing you closer fast, heat coiling tight in your belly.
dejun watches, mesmerized, his thrusts slowing to a deep grind as his gaze drops to where your hand moves, then flicks back to your face, âthatâsâŚso hot,â he breathes, hips jerking forward despite himself, chasing the sight of you touching yourself for him. his cock throbs inside you, the condom doing little to hide how close he is but he grits how teeth, forcing himself to hold on, matching your pace. the pressure builds unbearably, your circles quickening as his cock fills you over and over, the angle stealing breath after breath until youâre gasping, body trembling beneath him, âdejunâiâm close, donât stop,â you urge and he nods frantically, sweat dripping from his brows onto your chest as he drives in deeper. his hand comes down to cover yours briefly, pressing it firmer against your clit and it hits you â the orgasm crashing through you like a wave, your pussy spasming hard around his cock, milking him with rhythmic squeezes as you cry out his name, âdejunâfuck, yes!,â your vision blurs, thighs shaking, eyes rolling back.
that does it for him â âoh, god, fuckââ he groans loud, hips stuttering as he thrusts once, twice more, then stills, cock pulsing as he comes hard inside the condom, filling it with spurts, his knuckles gripping the sheets white. he gasps, collapsing forward on his elbows to avoid crushing you, his face buried in your neck as aftershocks ripple through both of you. he stays there, panting against your skin, his softening cock still twitching inside your fluttering walls, the intimacy of the shared release wrapping around you like a warm blanket.
after a long moment, he lifts his head, eyes soft and sated, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips and whispering, âi love you.â you whisper it back, soft but certain, sealing it with a soft kiss.
your body is still humming with the echoes of release, muscles loose and warm as dejunâs weight presses against you. he shifts slightly, propping himself up one elbow to look at you, a shy smile tugging at his lips, ânow i understand why every guy i know is pussy whipped for their girlfriends,â he jokes, thumb brushing your jawline in a feather-light tough. you laugh, the sound light and bubbling up from your chest, easing the last remnants of tension between you. he chuckles too, the vibration rumbling through his body into yours, his free hand coming up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. the moment feels easy, playful, like the vulnerability from before has melted into something shared and sweet.
slowly, he eases back, pulling out. the condom clinging to his spent cock. you reach down, fingers gentle as you grasp him, rolling the warm latex off him carefully, âcareful there,â he murmurs, voice husky and low, a hint of amusement in his tone as he watches your hand work, âdonât want to make a mess.â
âwouldnât dream of it,â you smile up at him, pressing a quick kiss to his lips before tossing it into the trash bin beside your nightstand. he watches you with that same soft gaze, a faint blush creeping back up on his neck. you grab a tissue from your nightstand, wiping him down with unhurried strokes along his length and thighs. he sighs contentedly, grabbing another tissue and returning the care by dabbing gently between your legs, his touch light and attentive, drawing a quiet hum from your lips. once done, he discards the tissues, pulling the rumpled sheets over both of you and drawing you close against his side. you curl into him, head resting on his chest, the steady beat of his heart lulling you as his arm drapes around your shoulders, fingers idly tracing circles on your skin. the room quiets, wrapped in the warmth of each other and sleep tugs you under together, limbs entwined in peaceful surrender.
đŻ NOVEMBER 16 - BREAKFAST đŻ
sunlight filter through the curtains, casting a warm glow across the rumpled sheets as you stir awake. the bed feels too empty beside you, dejunâs side cool and untouched, but the sweet, buttery scent of pancakes wafts from the kitchen, pulling a sleepy smile to your lips. no confusion this time â just a quiet certainty that heâs still here.
you slip out of bed, pulling on his oversized shirt that hangs loose over your thighs, the fabric soft against your skin. then you pad down the short hallway, the aroma growing stronger. there he is â standing at the counter, humming a soft tune under his breath, as he plates a stack of golden pancakes, drizzling syrup with careful focus. without a word, you step up behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist in a gentle back hug, your cheeks pressing against the warmth of his shoulder blade. he pauses, his body relaxing into your hold and tilts his head just enough to press a kiss to your temple, âgood morning,â he whispers, voice bright with a tender edge that makes your chest flutter. you sigh in content, nuzzling closer, âyou know, as much as i love breakfast in the morning, i would really like to wake up with you next to me.â
he chuckles softly, the sound vibrating through him and sets the spatula down before turning in your embrace. his arms slide around your waist, pulling you flush against him, his hands splaying warm across your lower back, âiâll keep that in mind,â he murmurs, eyes crinkling with a shy smile that still holds a hint of last nightâs vulnerability. then he leans in, capturing your lips in a kiss thatâs soft and slow, unhurried like the morning itself. his mouth moves against yours with a gentle pressure, tasting faintly of coffee and you melt into it, your fingers curling around his neck.
the kiss deepens naturally, tongues brushing together lazily, the lingering tension from the night before sparking back to life â a low hum of need that neither of you has fully shaken. dejunâs hands tighten on your hips, drawing you nearer until youâre pressed between the counter and his body, the heat of him seeping through the thin layers of clothing. you tilt your head, parting your lips wider as the kiss grows hungrier, breaths mingling in soft gasps. the pancakes sit forgotten on the plate as the makeout session builds, bodies shifting cloer, the air between you thickening with that electric pull. you arch into him, one leg hooking around his thigh to pull him closer, feeling the hard line of his cock straining against his boxers, grinding subtly against your core through the thin barrier of his shirt on your skin. his hands cups your ass, squeezing firmly and a low whine rumbles from your chest into his, the air growing thick with the scent of arousal.
but then dejun pulls back abruptly, his breath coming in short pants, forehead resting against yours as he squeezes his eyes shut, âhoney, wait,â he murmurs, voice strained, like heâs fighting every instinct to keep going. you blink up at him, concern flickering though the haze of want, âis everything okay?â
he opens his eyes, that shy smile breaking through, cheeks flushing a soft pink as he rubrics the back of his neck, âi justâŚdonât have another condom.â a laugh bubbles out of you, light and surprised, easing the tension just enough to make him chuckle too, though his gaze drops to your lips, âi swear iâll go buy three boxers right after breakfast,â he adds, his tone turning silly, brows waggling in mock seriousness.
you laugh harder, shaking your head, âyouâre a freak, dejun.â
he quirks a brow, leaning in closer, his hands still firm on your waist, âitâs not my fault my girlâs beautiful and iâm obsessed with her.â
you slap his chest playfully, rolling your eyes even as a smile tugs at your lips, warmth spreading through you at his words, âgod, i forgot youâre a hopeless romantic.â
he laughs, the sound bright and genuine, pulling you tighter, âtoo much?â
you shake your head no, biting you lip, ânoâŚi like it.â
the words make his heart flutter before crashing his mouth against yours again, smiling into the kiss, the heat surging back tenfold. then it turned demanding, teeth nipping at your lower lip as his hand slips higher under the shirt. you break away first this time, gasping for air, your hands on his shoulders to create some space, âokay, okayâŚwe should probably eat.â
âwe will,â he replies, stealing another quick kiss, his lips lingering, âbut i want something else right now.â
you raise a brow, smirking, âyouâre not hitting it raw, dejun. iâm too scared of teenage pregnancy.â
he bursts out laughing, head tipping back, the sound filling the kitchen, âhoneyâŚweâre in our twenties.â
you laugh too, âexactly.â
his expression shifts, playful heat darkening his eyes as he steps closer, voice dropping low, âwe donât need condoms for what i want to do,â he winks and before you can reply, his hands grip your thighs, hoisting you up onto the cool granite of the kitchen counter with effortless strength. the shirt rides up, exposing your bare pussy to the air and heâs spreading your thighs wide with firm hands.
dejunâs gaze locks on your folds, already slick and glistening and he licks his lips, a hungry groan escaping him, âfuck, look at you,â he breathes, leaning in to press a soft kiss to your inner thigh, then higher, his breath hot against your clit. his tongue flicks out tentatively at first, tracing the length of your slit from the entrance to your clit, lapping up your wetness with a slow, deliberate stroke that makes your hips buck. you thread your fingers into his hair, tugging lightly as he dives deeper, mouth sealing over your pussy. his tongue circles your clit firmly, sucking gently, the pleasure coiling tight in your core. you moan, head falling back against the cabinet. dejunâs hands hold your thighs open, fingers digging into the soft flesh as he eats you out like heâs starved. he hums against you, the vibration sending sparks up your spine and one hand slides up to pinch your nipple through the shirt, rolling it between his fingers. your breaths come in sharp gasps, pussy clenching around nothing as he works you higher, tongue flicking faster, relentless, âdejunâŚoh god,â you whimper, grinding against his face, chasing the edge, your grip on his head tightening. he doesnât let up, nose bumping your clit as his tongue continues to fuck you with quick, deep thrusts while his thumb takes over rubbing circles on your swollen nub. the pressure builds unbearably, your thighs trembling around his head and with a cry, your orgasm crashes through you â hard and fast, walls fluttering as waves of pleasure rip from your core, juices flooding his mouth. dejun laps it all up greedily, moaning like itâs the best thing heâs ever tasted, drawing out your climax until youâre shuddering, oversensitive and spent.
finally, he pulls back, lips shiny with your release, chin glistening as he looks up at you with those dark, satisfied eyes. he rises slowly, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before leaning in to kiss you deeply, letting you taste yourself on his tongue. you notice his hard cock pressing insistently against your thigh, your hands trailing down his abs to his member â then pulling away, you smirk at him, hand wrapping around him, âthe pancakes can wait a little longer.â
đŻ NOVEMBER 17 - WHERE IT ALL STARTED đŻ
dejun đŚđЎ: hi my honey
dejun đŚđЎ: meet me at the abandoned film wing tonightâŚ8pm?
my honey đâ¤ď¸: donât tell me
my honey đâ¤ď¸: was this all an elaborate plan for my murder?
dejun đŚđЎ: guess youâll just have to find out ;)
the day drags on with classes and errands but anticipation simmers under your skin and by evening, you slip into a simple skirt and top as you make your way to the old film building. the last time you were here, it was all dust and shadows, the air chill and forgotten. you push open the creaky door, bracing for the same emptiness â but warmth greets you instead, flickering candlelight dances across the walls, casting soft glows on stacked books and scattered petals.
dejun stands by the table in the center, dressed in a black button-up that hugs his shoulders, holding a bouquet that's half flowers, half books. mystery and crime novels mixed with vibrant blooms. you step closer, a laugh escaping as you recognize the titles.
âwhatâs all this?â you ask, your voice echoing softly in the transformed space.
âthought we could go back to where it all started,â he says, his eyes locking on yours with pure adoration, voice low and sincere. he steps forward, offering the bouquet, âand i want to ask you something.â
you grab the bouquet from him, a flicker of confusion in your eyes, âwhat is it?â
âwill you be my girlfriend?â
the words hit you like a like a quiet thunder, simple yet profound â youâve never heard them directed at you before, not like this, wrapped in candlelight and intention. awe blooms in your chest and you tilt your head, hiding the smile begging to burst free, âi thought i already was?â
âyeah,â he murmurs, closing the distance to pull you gently against him, a smile on his lips, his hands settling on your waist, âyou areâŚbut i wanted to ask you properly.â
you lean in, pressing your lips to his in a soft kiss, smiling into the warmth of it, the faint scent of his cologne, now your favorite scent, mixing with the wax from the candles, âi would love to be your girlfriend.â
âgood,â he breathes, his hand sliding to the back of your neck as he deepens the kiss. he grabs the bouquet, placing them on the table as he pulls you closer. your hands roam up his chest, fingers curling into his shirt and he groans softly, nipping at your bottom lip.
but you pull back just enough, breath ragged, eyes gleaming, âwere you able to buy condoms?â
he laughs, the sound rich and amused, fishing into his pocket for his wallet. he slides the foil packet between two fingers, holding it up like a card, âfresh from the store.â
âgood,â you smirk, yanking him back by his collar for a deeper kiss, all teeth and tongue, body arching into his. dejunâs hands grip your thighs, lifting you effortlessly onto the cool silver table, the metal smooth under your skirt as it hikes up. he steps between your legs, kissing down your neck, sucking marks into your skin while his fingers work the buttons of your top open, exposing your bra. you shrug it off and he unhooks the clasp with a flick, mouth descending to suck on your nipple, tongue swirling around the hardening peak as you gasp, threading fingers through his hair.
your hands fumble with his belt, unzipping his pants to free his cock, already hardening and throbbing in your palm. you stroke him firmly, thumb circling the slick head and he hisses against your breast, hips bucking, âfuck, honey,â he mutters, pulling back to shove your skirt higher. he rips open the condom packet, rolling it on with steady hands, confidence in every motion, then he tugs your panties to the side, aligning his tip at your entrance, your pussy clenching in anticipation.
he pushes in, slow at first, both of your moaning at the stretch, âgod, youâre so wet for me already,â he groans, bottoming out, âfeels even better than last time.â
you wrap your legs around his waist, heels digging into his back, urging him faster, âdejun, moveâplease, i need you deeper,â you whine, nails scraping his back as he starts thrusting, measured and deep, savoring the drag of your heat around him. he's less nervous now, his hips snapping forward in a rhythm that's powerful, unrelenting, the table creaking under the force, âlike this? tell me how it feels,â he pants, voice rough, leaning down to capture your mouth in a messy kiss, swallowing your gasps.
âso goodâfuck, right there, donât stop,â you moan into his lips, rocking against him, your clit rubbing against his base with every thurst, the heat building sharp and fast, âyouâre hitting it perfect, dejun â harder.â
he obliges, pace quickening, hands bracing tightly on your hips, eyes locked on yours, dark with lust but softened by adoration, âyouâre mine now, all mine â say it,â he demands between grunts.
âyours, dejunâonly yours,â you cry out, the words pushing you closer. he reaches between you, fingers finding your clit to rub tight circles and you buck wildly, âfuckâiâm close, so close.â
âcum for me, honey,â he growls, thrusts turning erratic, the wet slap of skin echoing in the candlelit room as you clench around him impossibly tight, thighs trembling, juices soaking his cock, âthatâs it, fuckâgood girl, so beautiful when you come.â he follows seconds later, groaning your name as he buries deep, cock twitching with release, filling the condom. he gasps, riding it out with shallow thrusts, prolonging the bliss until youâre both spent, foreheads pressed together, breaths mingling.
âmy girlfriend,â he whispers, voice husky, wrapping you in his arms as the candles flicker on, the night wrapping around you.
đŻ DECEMBER 1 - THE STUDENT HAS SURPASSED HIS MASTER đŻ
two weeks have slipped by in a blur of shared glances, late-night confession, and the kind of closeness that feels like home. dejun's gotten under your skin in the best way â he notices the flicker of doubt in your eyes before you even voice it, pulling you close with a quiet âwe'll figure it outâ that makes staying feel natural, not forced. youâve both been navigating this relationship like it's a new language, stumbling sometimes but always circling back to each other, stronger for it.
you're sprawled on the living room floor, textbooks splayed around you like a battlefield, highlighters scattered amid the chaos of final exam prep. dejun's been holed up in your bedroom for the last hour, probably scrolling on his phone or napping, as he usually does after his own classes. but then the door creaks open, and he bursts in with that boyish energy that always pulls a smile from you, âhoney⌠guess what i found,â he says, voice laced with mischief.
you don't look up right away, pen scratching across your notebook as you murmur, âwhat?â
âthis,â he dangles the silver handcuffs from his fingers, the metal glinting in the light.
you glance up then, a teasing smile curving your lips, âoh⌠forgot i had those.â
he smirks, sauntering toward you with purpose, his eyes darkening with intent, âyou should take a break⌠all that studying can't be good for your mind,â dropping down behind you on the couch, his thighs bracketing your sides as he leans in, lips brushing feather-light kisses along your shoulders, exposed by your loose tank top.
âhmmm, and what should i do during my break?' you tease, tilting your head to give him better access, a shiver racing down your spine at the warmth of his mouth.
âhmmm,â he hums against your skin, nipping gently before his hand captures yours. the cool click of the cuff locks around your wrist, sending a thrill straight to your core, âi think we should have some fun.â
you watch him, a small smile playing on your face, that familiar tingle blooming low in your stomach as he shifts to kneel in front of you, âyeah?â
âyeah,â he echoes, voice dropping husky as he guides your cuffed hand behind your back, securing the other wrist with a decisive snap. the position arches your chest slightly, your arms pinned behind you, leaving you exposed and eager under his gaze. he pauses, searching your eyes for that spark of consent. you lean in first, capturing his lips in a soft kiss that quickly turns heated â all tongue and tasting like the faint mint from his gum. you moan quietly into his mouth, pressing closer, the restraint heightening every sensation.
dejun breaks the kiss with a groan, his hands roaming your sides, thumbs grazing your breasts through your top, âgod, you look so fucking hot like this,â he murmurs, voice rough with want. his fingers bunch the fabric of your tank top upward, twisting it just enough to expose your breasts without pulling it off â the cuffs making that impossible.
you're trapped between his solid body and the body of the couch behind you, pressing into your spine as he leans in closer, his breath hot against your skin. he captures one nipple between his lips, sucking firmly while his tongue swirls the hardened peak, teeth grazing the sensitive flesh in a way that sends jolts straight to your core.
âfuck, so perfect,â he growls, switching to the other side, pinching the wet one with his fingers to keep the sting alive. his mouth works relentlessly, alternating between deep sucks that pull your nipple taut and light flicks of his tongue that make your thighs clench. you can only arch into his touch, your breaths coming in sharp gasps as heat pools low in your belly.
âdejunââ you whimper, voice breaking as the sharp tug of his teeth makes your hips buck involuntarily. the way heâs fixated on your chest, like nothing else exists, has your skin flushing hot, every nerve ending alive and begging for more.
he rolls the other nipple between his thumb and forefinger, twisting gently at first, then harder, matching the rhythm of his sucking on the other, âlove how they perk up for me,â he whispers, his voice vibrating against your chest, sending fresh sparks through you.
you gasp sharply, back bowing off the couch, âthatâfeels so good,â you manage, your words tumbling out in a rush, the ache between your legs growing insistent but untouched. his eyes flick up to meet yours, dark with hunger and he hums in approval before pulling back just to blow a cool stream of air over the slick, peaked bud, âyouâre getting so worked up already,â he murmurs, his fingers now circling the base of your breast, squeezing to push the sensitive bud deeper into his mouth. he sucks harder, alternating with soft bites that make you whine, your thighs pressing together in a futile attempt to ease the building throb.
âpleaseâŚdonât stop,â you beg, your voice husky, the cuffs digging into your wrists as you strain against them, desperate to touch him, to hold his head closer. the helplessness amping up the intensity, every swirl of his tongue feeling like itâs stoking a fire low in your gut.
ânot stopping until you fall apart for me,â he promises, his tone rough and commanding, âwanna make you cum just like this,â he switches sides again, drawing a cry from your lips, tongue flattening to lap broad strokes before pinching it between his teeth and tugging lightly. the pull sends a fresh wave of heat surging through you, your breaths ragged, body trembling as the coil tightens slowly.
âdejunâŚiâm close,â you confess, your cheeks burning with the admission. he doubles down, one hand squeezing your breast while the other tweaks and rolls the free one in tight circles, âi know, honeyâŚi can feel you shaking,â he rasps, nipping harder now, the edge of pain blending seamlessly with pleasure. your muscles tense, breaths hitching as the pressure mounts, making your pussy clench with need, âiâmâfuckâdejun,â you pant, head falling back against the couch, eyes squeezing shut, every pull and pinch echoing deep inside, coiling together until your body seizes, a small orgasm ripping through you.
dejun doesnât let up right away, easing his mouth into softer licks as he watches you tremble through the aftershocks, his eyes dark and satisfied when he finally pulls back, âweâre just getting started,â he murmurs, voice low and edged with promise.
before you can catch your breath from the lingering pulses in your chest, his hands grip your waist, lifting you effortlessly off the floor and tossing you onto your back on the couch. the sudden shift makes your head spin, the cuffs clinking as your bound arms hit the fabric behind you, leaving you splayed out and exposed. he kneels between your legs, confidence radiating from him after all the time spent mapping your body â the lessons turning into instinct, his touches no longer hesitant but sure and demanding.
âso fucking pretty,â he says, smirking as his fingers hook into the waistband of your shorts and panties, finally yanking them down your thighs in one smooth pull. the cool air hits your slick pussy, making you gasp, but the handcuffs keep your hands pinned uselessly, forcing you to submit to whatever he wants next. he tosses the clothes aside, spreading your knees wide with his palms, his gaze fixed on your glistening folds, swollen and sensitive from the earlier tease.
âdejun... stop teasingâplease,â you breathe, your voice a mix of plea and anticipation, hips twitching as you try to get closer to him.
he chuckles darkly, one hand sliding up your inner thigh, thumb brushing the edge of your folds just to watch you jolt, âplease what, honey? you want my fingers inside you? stretching this wet pussy?â his middle finger traces your entrance, gathering your arousal, teasing.
âyesâŚplease, please fuck me with your fingers,â you whine, begging. he hums in approval before pushing in slowly, the intrusion easy with how soaked you are. you moan at the fullness, walls fluttering around the single digit as he crooks it upward, pressing against that spot that makes your toes curl.
âyesâfuck, just like that,â you whimper, your bound hands fisting the couch fabric, knuckles whitening as you arch into his touch. the sensitivity from your last release makes every slide feel amplified, sparks igniting low in your belly already. he adds a second finger without warning, thrusting them deep and curling them relentlessly, his palm grinding against your clit with each pump. the wet sounds of your pussy taking him in fill the room, obscene and rhythmic, his pace building steady but insistent.
âso tight, clenching like you can't get enough,â he growls, free hand pinning your hip down to keep you from bucking too wildly. he scissors his fingers inside you, stretching your walls, thumb now circling your clit in firm, deliberate strokes that has your thighs quivering.
âoh god, dejunââ you cry out, head thrashing against the cushions, the pressure coiling fast and fierce in your core. your pussy grips his fingers greedily, juices coating his hand as he fucks you harder, the sensitivity turning every thrust into a edge-of-overload sensation.
âcum on my fingers, show me how sensitive you are for me,â he demands, leaning down to nip at your earlobe, his breath hot against your skin. he twists his wrist, fingers dragging along your front wall with precision, thumb pressing harder on your clit, rubbing side to side now to push you right to the brink.
the build is lightning-quick, your body betraying you with how primed it is, muscles tensing as the orgasm barrels toward you, âiâmâfuck, iâm cumming,â you gasp, voice breaking into a sob as it hits, pussy spasming wildly around his thrusting fingers, a fresh gush of slick flooding out. your hands claw at the couch, back bowing off the surface as waves crash through you, leaving you panting and limp, walls still twitching in the aftermath.
dejun slows his movements, drawing out the pulses with gentle pumps until you're whimpering from the overstimulation, then finally withdraws his fingers with a wet pop, holding them up to show you how drenched they are, âgood girl,â he praises, eyes locked on yours, a possessive glint in them as he licks his fingers clean, savoring your taste. his gaze drops back to your spread thighs, where your pussy still glistens with the fresh slick from your release.
he shifts lower, hooking his arms under your knees to hold you open, his breath ghosting over your sensitive folds, âjust gonna clean you up, honey,â he murmurs, voice rough but casual, like it's no big deal. his tongue flicks out, flat and warm, lapping a slow stripe up your slit from entrance to clit, gathering the mess he made with his fingers.
you shudder at the contact, the overstimulation hitting like a spark, your walls clenching emptily, a whine slipping from your lips, âdejunâfuck, it's too much right now,â you gasp, your bound hands twisting in the couch cushions again, trying to anchor yourself as his tongue delves deeper, swirling gently around your entrance to suck up every drop. he hums against you, the vibration sending jolts through your core, but he keeps it light, no pressure, just thorough laps that trace your lips and dip inside shallowly.
âcan't help it â you taste too good,â he says between licks, his nose brushing your clit as he works, eyes flicking up to watch your face contort. he doesn't push for more, just cleans methodically, tongue curling to scoop out the lingering wetness â but your body's too raw, every pass igniting nerves that haven't settled. the heat builds unbidden, coiling tight in your belly despite his intent, your hips twitching involuntarily toward his mouth.
âoh god, waitâi'm gonnaâŚâ you trail off into a moan, the words dissolving as the third orgasm sneaks up, ferocious and unforgiving. it rips through you without mercy, your pussy spasming hard, thighs clamping down around your boyfriendâs head like a vice, trapping him against your pulsing core. your jaw goes slack, a silent cry escaping as your eyes roll back, vision blurring white-hot, the pleasure bordering on pain from the sensitivity. dejun's eyes widen, clearly amused, his hands gripping your thighs to steady you, but he doesn't pull away â instead, he laps through it, tongue pressing flat against your clit to ride the waves, drawing out the contractions until you're a trembling mess. fresh slick coats his chin, your walls fluttering wildly as he prolongs it, humming low to feel you quiver. âthat's it, let it go,â he breathes against you, voice muffled but encouraging, until the intensity peaks too high.
you can't take it. legs squeezing shut completely, âstopâplease, dejunâgive me a second,â you beg, voice hoarse and broken, body limp as the aftershocks fade into exhaustion. he pulls back with a wet pop, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand, that smug smirk curling his lips as he crawls up your body, hovering over you.
âthat was fun,â he says, eyes sparkling with mischief and satisfaction, leaning down to kiss you softly. itâs a reprieve, a chance to catch your breath as his weight presses you deeper into the cushions, his hands framing your face. the kiss intensifies gradually, his teeth grazing your lower lip, pulling a soft moan from you that he swallows greedily, tongues tangling, wet and insistent, the faint salt of your earlier release lingering on his tongue.
minutes stretch as he kisses you like time's endless â lazy swirls of his tongue against yours, nips at your jaw, sucking faint marks into the sensitive skin of your neck until your hips start twitching upward instinctively, seeking contact. the air grows thick, charged, your breaths mingling hot and fast. he pulls back just enough to meet your gaze, his dark eyes searching yours with that possessive hunger, âyou ready to take me again?â he whispers, voice rough, lips brushing your ear.
you nod frantically, the plea escaping before you can stop it, âyes, pleaseâneed you to fuck me, dejun.â
his smirk widens, feral and triumphant, âbegging so prettily for my cock,â he whispers, softly tapping your bottom lip, and in one fluid motion, he flips you fully onto your stomach, yanking your hips up high so you're arched and exposed, ass lifted, face pressed into the cushions. the cuffs still keeping your hands locked behind you, forcing your shoulders down and your body into total submission â no leverage, no escape, just open and waiting for him. your knees spread on the couch, thighs quivering, pussy dripping and clenching at the cool air.
you hear the crinkle of foil behind you â he's quick now, rolling the condom over his thick length with a low hiss, âlook at thisâdripping for me already,â he says, his hand sliding up your spine to grip your shoulder, thumb pressing into the tense muscle. he lines up, his tip pressing against your soaked entrance, then shoves in deep, stretching you wide in one forceful push that forces a sharp cry from your throat.
âfuckâalways so fucking tight,â he groans, the sound raw as your walls grip him, still tender from before. he draws back and rams forward again, building a brutal pace immediately, hips crashing against your ass with loud smacks, the angle spearing him straight into that sensitive bundle inside you. pleasure surges fast, overwhelming, your bound arms jerking uselessly behind you, the metal digging in as you rock with his thrusts.
âdejunâjust like thatâharder,â you whimper, voice breaking, the intensity blurring your vision. the cuffs amps everything â the way he controls your body, pounding relentlessly, owning you completely. tears well up, streaking your cheeks, but the bliss coils tighter, pushing you toward the brink.
âsuch a dirty girl, you canât get enough canât you?â he demands, one hand tangling in your hair to tug your head back slightly, the other clamping your hip to hold you in place as he drives deeper.
ânoâneed youâplease,â you sob out, the words fracturing as the pressure peaks. he shoves you back down the couch and you canât help but clench your teeth as your pussy clamps down, spasming wildly. then it hits â a violent release, squirting hard around his pistoning cock, hot fluid gushing out with every thrust, soaking his groin and the couch beneath.
dejun doesn't falter. itâs not the first time heâs made you squirt like this. he lands a slap on your ass, loud and red, while he keeps fucking you through it, groans turning guttural as the slick mess eases his slides, making each stroke wetter, sloppier, âfuck, yesâsquirt on my dick, honey, drench me,â he rasps, pace unyielding, chasing his own high. he continues pounding into you, hard and fast, his grip on your hips strong and unrelenting
but the overstimulation crashes in fast â the sharp friction shifts from ecstasy to burn, your nerves fraying as he continues to thrust harshly into the sensitivity. and all you could feel is pain.
âdejun⌠i-i canât, it hurts,â you manage between thrusts, voice small and cracking, sniffles breaking through the haze, your hands trying to push him away as best as you could in this situation, as pain overrides the pleasure, your body trembling not just from release but from the edge of too much.
he stops as the words hit his ears, your voice soft, small â not your usual tone. and he knows immediately that somethingâs wrong. his hands freeze on your skin and carefully, he pulls out, the drag slow and mindful, a soft curse escaping him, âshit, honeyâsorry, i got carried away,â he says, voice laced with regret as he turns you over onto your back, the cuffs clinking softly now. he pulls you up into his arms, cradling you against his chest, one hand wiping sweat-damp hair from your face, thumb stroking your cheek, wiping the tears away. his cock throbs hard against your thigh, ignored, his focus all on you, âwhat hurts? tell meâ
âcan you remove the cuffs?â you whisper, wincing at the throb in your wrists.
he nods immediately, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead before slipping off the couch âyeah, hold on.â he darts into the bedroom, returning with the key in seconds, kneeling to unlock the metal around your wrists. as they fall away, he sees the red welts dug into your skin, his expression twisting, âfuck, honey, iâm so sorry,â he murmurs, lifting your hands to his lips, placing soft, lingering kisses over the marks, his touch feather-light.
you shake your head, managing a small smile despite the ache, âdejun, itâs okayâyou stopped right away.â you watch him handle you like fragile porcelain, his eyes soft with concern, âwe should probably have a safe word, though,â you tease lightly, voice steadying.
he chuckles ruefully, still massaging your wrists with gentle circles, âyeah, that wouldâve been smart. red to stop, maybe? whatever you want.â
your gaze drops, noticing his erection straining, flushed and untouched, âyouâre still hard.â
he smiles, warm but dismissive, continuing to rub soothing patterns into your skin, âdonât worry about itâiâll take care of it later.â
ânoâŚcome here,â you say, tugging him closer as you settle back comfortably on the couch.
âhoney, noâwe donât have to,â he protests softly, hovering uncertainly, his length twitching with need but his eyes searching yours for any sign of discomfort.
âi want to,â you insist, reaching up to cup his face.
âyou sure?â his voice is tender, laced with care.
you nod, pulling him down into a slow kiss, lips brushing soft and unhurried, âjustâŚgo slow.â
he exhales, melting into the kiss, his body lowering over yours with deliberate gentleness before guiding himself to your entrance, pressing in, watching your face the whole time, pausing if you tense, âtell me if it's too much,â he whispers, voice thick with affection as he bottoms out, holding still to let you adjust.
âperfect,â you breathe, wrapping your legs around his waist, hands now free to trace his back, nails grazing lightly. he starts moving, shallow rocks of his hips, each one measured and deep, grinding against you without rush. his mouth finds yours again, kisses turning languid, tongues sliding together in a rhythm that matches his thrusts â soft, loving, building warmth rather than fire.
âi love how you feel around me,â he murmurs against your skin, lips trailing to your neck, sucking gently. you arch into him, meeting each slow push, the fullness tender now, pleasure blooming like sunlight, wrapping you both in quiet intimacy.
âfeels so good,â you whisper, eyes locked on his, the words pulling a soft groan from him as he dips to kiss your collarbone, your shoulder, everywhere he can reach. his pace stays even, unhurried glides that let you feel every ridge, every pulse, drawing out sighs and quiet moans. the couch creaks faintly under you, but it's background to the way he watches you, like you're the only thing in his world â his free hand stroking your thigh, encouraging without demanding.
âi love you,â he says, voice hushed and full of emotion, forehead pressing to yours as he angles to brush that spot inside, gentle pressure making stars flicker softly behind your eyes. the build is gradual, a warm tide rising, your bodies syncing in fluid harmony. when you clench around him, he hums approval, kissing you deeper, swallowing your gasps.
âcum with me,â you plead softly, and he nods, thrusts turning just a fraction firmer but still so careful, his breath hitching as your release washes over you â soft waves, not shattering, just pure, enveloping bliss that pulls him under too. he spills with a quiet moan, burying his face in your neck, holding you close as you both tremble through it, hearts pounding in unison. he doesn't pull away right after â instead, he stays nestled inside, arms wrapping around you fully, peppering your face with tiny kisses.
dejun lingers inside you for a while, his body a warm, protective shield as your shared breaths slow to a synchronized rhythm. he presses his forehead to yours, eyes holding a tenderness that makes your heart swell. slowly, he eases out, careful not to hurt you, discarding the condom with a quick, discreet motion before returning fully to your side.
âcome on, let's get you somewhere more comfortable,â he whispers, voice soft and reassuring. with effortless strength, he scoops you up bridal-style, cradling your body against his chest as he rises from the couch. your head rests on his shoulder, his heartbeat steady under your ear, lulling you into deeper relaxation. he carries you down the short hallway to the bedroom, each step gentle, pushing the door open with his elbow and lowering you onto the bed, the mattress dipping softly under your weight.
he slides in beside you, pulling the duvet over both of you, his body curving protectively around yours. his fingers trace soothing circles on your back, chasing away any lingering tension. gently, he takes your hands in his, turning them over to inspect your wrists once more. the faint red marks from the cuffs catch the dim light, and he frowns slightly, rubbing his thumb over them with care, âhow are these feeling now? does it still hurt?â
you shake your head, a small smile forming as you meet his concerned gaze. he nods, satisfied, then leans in closer, âdo you need anything?â
âjust this,â you reply softly, your voice barely above a whisper âjust you.â
his expression softens, eyes warming with affection. he pulls you tighter against him, lips brushing your temple in a soft kiss. you sigh contentedly, nestling into his chest, the world fading to just this quiet intimacy â safe, loved, and perfectly at peace.
ἍáĄ. the end.
â
18+ only | watch at your own risk | contains mature content
dejun x honey coded links: #1. #2. #3. #4. #5. #6. #7. #8. #9. #10. #11. #12. #13. #14. #15.
ä¸
an: the second of the wayv trio is finally done!!!! 2 down 1 more to go! i surprisingly did not hit the 1000 character limit THANK GODâŚmaybe thatâs my reward for finally finishing. dejun and honey is probably the most touchy couple weâve had in this series so far like damn they just donât stop đđ but i hope you loved them! not too much angst on this one because dejun is just peak yearner! peak down bad! peak loverboy! also i had to sneak in winwin there, we canât do this series WITHOUT MY wayv bias! and whatâs better than combining both of my wayv biases together? ehehe. i hope you enjoy the links! theyâre prettyyy spicy đŤŚđŤŚ before i go, A HUGE shoutout to my friend, @yujisabs for pulling me out of the major writers block i was in. thank you <333 and thank you to everyone who read this!!!! i luv all of u :3
ἍáĄ. likes, reblogs and comments are not required but is very appreciated.
ἍáĄ. if you enjoy this series and would like to show extra love and support. my ko-fi is open <3
ἍáĄ. love tags: @mangoescrazy @bamjjwi @jungwooie @erireadsstuff @rjreins @poemzcheng @jungwooismysavior @alexameliamg @neo-moa @dkkyeom @leleszn @rex-ie @generalpuppycloud @mots/g @chenleverse @kjOne @ninety-nite-99 @xxxnrigi @idkwiexist @pankuya @amazinggraxia @jaeminiwrld @ni-ki-starnetwork @drunkhee @severeanxietyissues @peonyjoo @multifandom2515 @yeosayang @dongyoungknows @aegryo @malaysianctfan @booskies @ingridbirdman @vantxx95 @andluv @fancypeacepersona @heartsforsunwoo @222lOW @9yuldaengi @cowboyuyu @zarastrawberry @boxofinvisiblethoughts @jwikyo @horanghyuck @combinatoright-blog @emmy-l-r @karleereadssmut @asahisimpnation @httpsxnox
TAGLIST: CLOSED
virgin's debut
A friendship canât be ruined by having sex⌠can it?
âšââ pairing: best friend!haechan x fem!reader x love interest!jaehyun (slight)
âšââ warnings: angst, fluff, smut, best friends to lovers trope, protected sex, unprotected sex (use protection pls), fingering, making out, nudes, slowburn, suggestive redaction, mild cursing, reader is a virgin lol, haechan isn't, English is not my first language, so I apologize in advance.
âšââwc: 18,3K
READ THE PREVIEW [HERE]
Two weeks later
haechan sighed again, his chest heavy as he collapsed onto the couch. With both hands, he covered his face, fingers digging into his skin, trying to block out the past two weeks.
hyuck didnât understand why there was this twisted mess of emotions swirling in his stomach, why his thoughts were so scattered, a jumble of "what ifs" and "should I's".
it had been two weeks since you made that insane proposition to him. haechan hadnât talked much since then, just the occasional texts letting each other know when theyâd left or entered the building they both lived in. the topic hadnât come up, and you hadnât pressured him either. but, god, it haunted him.
it was unthinkable. his values just wouldnât allow it. sleeping with his best friend? never crossed his mind. but youâyou werenât just anyone. youâd been inseparable since high school. your sense of humor matched perfectly, and everyone knew the two of you were a damn force together. their friends noticed the bond, the way they both seemed to fit like puzzle pieces, always there for each other, even when they fought. like siblings, but with none of the blood ties.
that word, "siblings"âit made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. It was strange that others saw them two like that. but they were okay with it. there were boundaries in their relationship, and crossing them was unforgivable.
of course, you were angelic. your bubbly personality and constant jokes made you irresistible. physically, you were gorgeous, though you were a bit shorter than himâway too short, maybe. you had black hair and an odd but cute bangs just above your eyebrows, something he liked to tease you about.
and yeah, youâd catch anyoneâs eye. he wasnât gonna lieâheâd had a crush on you when he first met you in high school. but over time, that romantic attraction faded as your friendship grew stronger.
maybe it was also the way you were so open with your thoughtsâno filter, no shameâthat when you asked him about sleeping together, it sounded completely natural to you. to him, though? It was a punch to the gut, a cold shower, a slap to the face. he was spinning, disoriented, trapped in what felt like a twisted fantasyâor maybe a nightmare.
for him, sex wasnât a taboo subject. heâd lost his virginity at 17 to one of his many girlfriends, and talking about it was casual. hell, haechan didnât even hold back when discussing the details of his past experiences with you. heâd even described how heâd "done it" in vivid detailâlike it was nothing.
but you? you were different. you had dated three guys since high school, but none of those relationships lasted more than two months. so, you didnât exactly know what it was like to be in a serious, long-term relationship. snd sex? It didnât seem like a necessity in your lifeâat least not until now.
âI mean, when youâre dating someone romantically and nothing happens, iâd call that a win,â you said, casually munching on a slice of lemon tart.
haechan furrowed his brows, taking a sip of his coffee. âexplain that.â
âitâs simple,â you shrugged. âbecause if they havenât seen you naked, you can run into them on the street and not have to worry about that bastard seeing your ass.â
heck couldnât help but laugh at your reasoning. âright, totally.â
you both chuckled, agreeing on that one. but he also knew, deep down, it wasnât that simple for him. not anymore. he couldnât ignore what was bubbling beneath the surface.
haechan felt a buzz in his pocket. his phone. the first class of the day was about to start, and he had to rush if he didnât want to be late. he lived close to campus, just a five-minute walk, but the class was on the other side of the building.
but this situation? it was messing with his head so much that he couldnât fall asleep until 3 AM these past two weeks. he grabbed his backpack and keys, about to head out when his phone buzzed again.
it was you. a message: âiâm heading to class, just leaving my apartment.â
haechan froze. he hadnât expected you to text him now. his hand gripped the doorknob, but he didnât open it. the thought of seeing you right now made his heart race. he wasnât ready. not yet. he couldnât just pretend like everything was fine.
"shit... y/n, what were you thinking?"
he sighed deeply. what was this? haechan could hear his own voice in his head, his thoughts like an endless storm. he couldnât stop thinking about youâabout what you had said, and about everything that had changed in such a short time. his stomach twisted. what would happen if he saw you now? could he face you? could he even be the same around you after what you had suggested?
he shook his head, hoping to clear his thoughts. He didnât have the answers, but he knew one thing: this wasnât going to be easy.
haechan let out a deep sigh, adjusting his scarf around his neck before stepping out of his apartment. he tried to calm himself, convincing himself that he could handle whatever came next. as if nothing had happened. as if he could just brush it off and pretend it hadnât been weighing on him for the past two weeks.
but every time he thought about it, it made his chest tighten. that proposal of yours. the way you had looked at him, so casually, as if it were no big deal. he couldnât get it out of his mind. he had always been the life of the party, the one to make jokes and laugh things off. but thisâthis was different. it gnawed at him like an insistent itch he couldnât scratch, a question with no answer.
he made his way to campus, each step seeming faster than the last, but his thoughts were tangled in a mess of confusion and frustration. you hadnât seemed bothered. if anything, you had acted like it was just another conversation. you hadnât even tried to talk to him about it again, hadnât pressured him. but that only made it worse. the silence between you both was deafening. you had sent that message, but it wasnât the same. it was as if you had moved on without even thinking about it, while he was still stuck in the same place, drowning in his thoughts.
it was absurd. he was known for being the carefree one, the one who didnât let anything get to him. but now? now he was a mess. the more he tried to convince himself that it was no big deal, the harder it was to believe it. you had said it so easily, like it was a joke, and yet it had shattered something inside him. the truth was, he didnât know how to look at you anymore. he didnât know how to face you after that. how could he? after everything?
haechan shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. his footsteps carried him toward the building, and the closer he got, the more his anxiety grew. he couldnât avoid it forever. heâd have to see you eventually. the communication department wasnât that big, and it seemed like the entire campus would lead him straight to you.
as he reached the entrance of the building, his alert system kicked in. you were probably inside already. and damn it, the thought of running into youânow, after everythingâfelt like a punch in the gut. you hadnât even mentioned it again, hadnât tried to force a conversation. yet he could feel it. the tension. the distance. how had it gotten to this? why did he feel so⌠disconnected?
he stopped for a second, hand resting against the doorframe, trying to breathe. but it was like everything had changed. nothing was simple anymore. he had been your best friend for so long, but now? now it felt like he was walking on eggshells, unsure of what would break first.
âhey.â
a light punch to his back snapped him out of his daze, and the blood immediately drained from his face. that voiceâhe couldnât mistake it, not even if a million voices tried to mimic it. His breath hitched, and he turned around so fast it almost hurt.
there you were. small, as always. a knitted beanie sitting snug over your head, thatâ ridiculousâfringe barely brushing the tops of your brows, framing your delicate face in a way that made his throat dry. a long grey coat hung from your shoulders, swallowing you slightly, and your black boots clicked softly against the floor. everything about you looked⌠normal. the way you looked at him, the way you smiled, even the casual punch to his back.
physical contact.
that word echoed in his head like a siren. he quickly shook the thought away, locking his focus on the paper Starbucks bag dangling from your left hand. maybe youâd stopped by the cafĂŠ on the way. maybe you ordered delivery. maybe someone gave it to you. maybeâgod, he needed to stop. the hamster in his brain was doing flips, and he wanted to knock some sense into himself.
you held the bag out toward him.
haechan just stared at it for a second, until you raised your eyebrows, shook it again, and snapped, âare you gonna take it or what?! geez, i brought it for you and youâre just standing there looking at it like an idiot.â
your expression twisted in mock annoyance, brows curved upwardâbut oddly, he felt the tightness in his chest ease a little.
reluctantly, haechan reached out and took the bag, brushing his fingers against yours for a second too long. he tried not to react, but his mind was a chaotic storm. He couldnât help but look at youâreally look.
had you always looked like this? that coat hugged your waist just enough. the shape of your figure was something he never let himself notice before. and your chest⌠jesus. it wasnât like youâd suddenly changed, but it felt like someone had wiped the fog off his glasses. He was seeing you differently. entirely.
and that terrified him.
he lowered his eyes quickly, too aware of how warm his ears were getting.
âthanks,â he mumbled, voice a little hoarse.
âno problem,â you replied, glancing around casually. âi figured you might skip breakfast again, soâŚâ
you trailed off with a small shrug, stuffing your hands into your coat pockets. haechan tried to smile, but his stomach was tangled in impossible knots.
haechan took another deep breath as he tried to collect himself, shifting the weight of the Starbucks bag from one hand to the other. he looked at you, trying to ignore the pull in his chestâthe sudden awareness of every little detail about you. there was a tension he couldnât shake off, something that sat heavy in his stomach.
you seemed to notice his distracted state and leaned against the wall, your usual easygoing posture, the same as always, except now, he couldnât stop noticing how you looked in that oversized coat and those boots. he was spiraling again, caught in the thought of you.
âsoâŚâ you broke the silence, âiâve been kind of swamped lately. working on this branding project for a client. itâs been a pain, though. my computer decided to die on me right when I needed it most.â
haechan raised an eyebrow, his mind snapping back to reality. âreally? you didnât tell me about it. why didnât you ask for help? I mean, i know a thing or two about fixing computers. I couldâve helped you.â
you shrugged, a small, nonchalant smile playing at the corners of your lips. ânah, i called taeyong instead. heâs better with that stuff.â
there was a sharp tug in haechanâs chest. he hadnât expected that. the knot in his stomach tightened, a wave of discomfort washing over him. taeyong? really?
he tried to laugh it off, but there was something bitter in his tone as he asked, âtaeyong? why him? i thought you knew I was good with that kind of stuff.â
âyeah, well,â you quipped with a raised eyebrow, âtaeyong just happened to be the first one I thought of. besides, heâs pretty quick with tech stuff.â
haechanâs smile was tight, and his stomach churned. he told himself it was nothing. he was being stupid. but why didnât you ask him? he had always been there when your tech failed. it felt⌠weird. almost like you didnât need him anymore. but, of course, he didnât voice any of that. instead, he played it off, trying to act casual.
âsure, sure,â he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. he was so not handling this well. the thought of you asking someone else for help left him unsettled, and he hated how much it bothered him. It was irrational, but he couldn't shake it.
you noticed the subtle shift in his demeanor, the way he pulled back just a little. your smile softened as you leaned forward slightly, breaking the silence again.
âhey,â you said gently, âiâm sorry if it upset you. it wasnât meant to make you feel left out, really.â
haechan quickly looked up, trying to look unfazed. ânah, itâs fine. I mean, it's not like iâm the only one you can ask for help, right?â he joked, but there was an edge to his voice that didnât quite match the tone of his words.
you raised your eyebrows, a knowing look in your eyes. âyouâre acting like a total prude right now,â you said, a smirk forming. âdidnât you used to tell me all the crazy stuff you did with jang chanmi back in high school? and now the topic of helping a friend with a computer is freaking you out?â
haechan blinked, taken aback. the mention of chanmi, especially in the context of your teasing, was enough to snap him out of his spiraling thoughts. he groaned, running a hand through his hair, trying to laugh it off. âwell, that was different, okay? that was high school stuff.â
you chuckled, leaning back against the wall, clearly amused by his discomfort. âoh, come on. donât tell me youâre too shy to talk about tech problems now. you used to explain every position you tried with herâlike it was a lesson in geometry or something.â
haechan let out an exasperated sigh, not sure whether to be embarrassed or grateful for the way you were managing to cut through the tension. he couldnât stop the blush creeping up his neck, and he cursed under his breath. of all the people, you had to be the one to make him feel like a damn fool.
âwell, that was different, okay? Itâs... itâs not like iâm comfortable talking about that stuff with you anymore, alright?â he almost winced at his words. the last thing he wanted was to make it sound like he couldnât be himself with you.
you tilted your head slightly, your tone playful but with a hint of mischief. âdonât worry, though. I just asked taeyong to help with the computer. i didnât make the same proposal to him that i made to you.â
haechanâs eyes went wide. he froze, his face instantly flushing. did you really just say that? the sudden wave of heat rushing to his face felt like he was on fire. his brain scrambled for words, but all he could manage was a surprised, âwait, what?â
you laughed softly, clearly enjoying the effect you had on him.
âyouâre scared iâm gonna bring it up, arenât you?â
âwhat? iâno, iâm fine,â he said too quickly, almost defensively. âjust tired. you know, early class. cold outside. normal stuff.â
you didnât say anything right away. just looked at him with that calm gaze of yours, the one that could read people like open books.
that hit him harder than expected. he flinched. swallowed. you tilted your head slightly.
âitâs okay,â you said, voice even. âif it made you uncomfortable⌠we donât have to talk about it. ever. iâm not gonna ambush you or corner you or expect anything.â
haechan blinked. your tone was so mature, so measuredâlike youâd thought about this. like you knew what it had done to him.
âit was dumb of me,â you continued with a small smile. âor maybe not dumb, just⌠bold. and i get it, you didnât sign up for that. so, if you want to forget it ever happened, consider it forgotten. clean slate.â
he didnât know what to say. a hundred emotions jostled in his chest, fighting for space. gratitude. relief. guilt. and something else entirelyâsomething heavier and harder to name.
because despite everything, despite the panic and confusion and awkward silences, you were still here. talking to him. offering him coffee. smiling at him like you always did.
but something had changed. he saw it in the way he noticed your lips when they moved. in the way his eyes lingered a beat too long on the curve of your body. in the way his mind kept circling back to that question youâd asked two weeks ago.
and the worst part?
haechan didnât know if he wanted to go back to before.
before everything had shifted. before he started noticing all these things about youâthings he had never allowed himself to see. he wasnât sure if it was fear of the unknown or something else entirely, but the thought of things returning to how they were felt⌠difficult.
âanyway,â you said, standing up from the railing and brushing your hands off as if to clear the air between you. "iâll see you later. donât overthink it, alright?"
the casual way you said it made his chest tighten. he could feel that something was still unspoken, that there was more you werenât saying, but he didnât press. you were good at hiding what you truly felt, always had been.
haechan tried to push the conversation out of his mind as he entered his class on media studies. he sat down, pulling his notes in front of him and attempting to focus, but his thoughts were all over the place. his brain kept circling back to your wordsâhad you meant everything you said? Was it really that simple for you?
the ice-cold americano youâd brought him sat on the edge of his desk. Its perfect arrangement, just the way he always liked it, made his chest tighten for reasons he couldnât explain. he watched as droplets of water gathered on the glass, slowly tracing their way down to pool at the bottom.
he was distracted. but even more than that, he was feeling something he couldnât quite name. his gaze wandered over the cold surface, the way the water clung to the glassâhis mind drifting to you. to your smile. to the way your voice had lingered in his thoughts.
he imagined, for a moment, what it would be like if those droplets were slipping along your skin instead. He didnât want to think about it, but his mind had other plans. every thought that surfaced seemed to lead back to youâthe curve of your lips, the way you had looked at him just before leaving.
his pulse quickened, a wave of heat rising to his face. he snapped back to reality, but the blush was already creeping up his neck. "what the hell am i doing?" he muttered under his breath, quickly looking down at his notes again, trying to focus. his mind refused to cooperate. why was he thinking about this now? why was his body reacting like this?
he could feel the tension rising, like a knot tightening in his stomach. he had never been this aware of you beforeânot like this. and the worst part was, he didnât know how to stop it.
you buried your face in your hands, heart racing, panic rising in your chest. what had you done?
the proposal you made to haechan wasnât randomânot by a long shot. It came from somewhere raw, impulsive, and aching. youâd convinced yourself he would say yes. no hesitation. no second thoughts. thatâs what your friends told you, right?
"guys are easy. especially when it comes to sex. theyâre always down," yeri had said with a laugh, trying to encourage you. âcome on, itâs haechan. he jokes about that stuff all the time.â
and maybe that was the worst part. because you believed her. you judged your best friend through a lens of assumption, reducing him to some stereotype, thinking heâd just say yes because he was a guy. because he was him.
but he didnât.
and now you knewâyou had judged him so, so wrong. haechan wasnât like the guys in those stories your friends always told. he wasnât thoughtless. he wasnât careless. he was kind. and considerate. and the look on his face after your question⌠you could still see it. confused. hurt. maybe even disappointed. not because you asked, but because he didnât know how to respond without breaking something between you.
the guilt clawed its way up your throat.
you hadnât asked him just for the sake of it, either. it wasnât some random experiment. it was desperation. because ever since last fall, ever since he came into the picture, something in you had changed.
jung jaehyun.
a senior in the visual arts department. tall, graceful, and unfairly good-lookingâlike heâd walked straight out of a perfume ad in a fashion magazine. chiseled jawline, smooth voice, perfect smile. the kind of man who turned heads in every hallway he walked through. girls whispered about him constantlyârumors, fantasies, stories that may or may not have been true. he was confident, magnetic, dangerous in that way only people who know theyâre desired can be.
and of course, you werenât immune.
you saw him at a few parties, caught glimpses of him sketching in the studio, his sleeves rolled up and headphones in, and felt a pull you didnât fully understand. it wasnât love. It wasnât even a crush. it was curiosity. lust. a hunger you didnât recognize as your own until it became too loud to ignore.
your friends told you to go for it. "just hook up with him," they said. "get it over with." but you couldnât. you didnât have the experience, the confidence, theâŚÂ proof that you could be the kind of girl someone like jaehyun might want.
so you turned to the only person you trusted. the only one who made you feel safe, unjudged, seen.
haechan.
and now youâd hurt him.
you hadnât just crossed a lineâyouâd shattered the trust heâd always given you so freely. all because you were afraid. because you wanted to prove something. because you thought heâd just say yes.
but he didnât.
now you sat in the middle of your typography and composition class, surrounded by the soft clatter of keyboards and the low hum of your professorâs lecture, your laptop open in front of you and your adobe illustrator file untouched. letters floated on your screen in random positions, but your brain couldnât form a single coherent thought. you werenât even sure what the assignment was supposed to be.
your body was thereâbut your mind was somewhere else entirely. caught in the swirl of embarrassment, regret, and confusion. a storm of emotion you didnât know how to calm. all you could think was:Â what have I done?
it had been a week since that conversation. on the surface, everything seemed fineâlike a reset button had been pressed. you and haechan still exchanged jokes, shared snacks, and sat next to each other in class. but underneath the laughter and casual glances, there was a strange hollowness, like the two of you had become actors reciting old lines in a play that didnât fit anymore. robotically pretending the elephant in the room didnât exist, even though its shadow loomed over every interaction. after all, everything had already been said, hadnât it?
still, something was off.
haechan hadnât hooked up with anyone since then. it wasnât for lack of tryingâheâd gone out, flirted, dancedâbut each time, his mind wandered back to you. and it wasnât just idle thoughts. no, it was worse.
every night that week, he'd woken up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, heart racing, and a painful hardness straining against his boxers. dreams of youâwearing almost nothing, bent in suggestive positions, whispering filthy things in his ear, inviting him to taste you, to touch youâplayed on a loop in his subconscious. but right when he was about to finally reach you, melt into you, heâd wake up frustrated and breathless. left with no choice but to slip his hand under the waistband and relieve the aching pressure. for serotonin. for oxytocin. for sanity.
now, it was saturday night and he was stuck at work.
the burger place was dead quiet. maybe it was the cold snap that had settled over the city, keeping everyone snuggled up in their homes instead of venturing out for greasy fast food. Haechan didnât mind, really. he was sick of putting on his fake retail voiceââwelcome! Fries with that?ââand dealing with people who didnât say thank you. right now, he was working the closing shift, wearing the stiff black uniform cap and flipping patties that hissed on the flat top grill. the whole place smelled of grilled beef, fryer oil, and cheap pickles. his coworkers were goofing off while mopping the floor and stacking chairs, and haechan, while half-listening to their jokes, was just counting the minutes till he could clock out and go back to bed.
that was when his phone buzzed in his pocket.
unknown number.
haechan hesitated. he barely ever answered unknown numbers, but something in his gut told him to pick up.
âhello?â
âHAECHAN!â
a girlâs voice. loud, panicked. He blinked.
ââŚwho is this?â
âitâs seojungây/nâs friend. you probably donât remember me. we met, like, once.â
oh. right. you had sent him the numbers of your friends months ago, just in case. heâd never saved them.
âyeah, uhâwhatâs up?â
âitâs y/n,â she said quickly.
the emergency button in his brain went off.
âwhat happened? is she okay?! did something happen to her?â
âwellâkind of?â
apparently, youâd gone out for a girlsâ night. a little bar in the city downtown. everything was fine, until youâd gotten verydrunk. so drunk, in fact, you couldnât even hold your head up, slurring nonsense, sobbing into seojungâs shoulder.
haechan grabbed his jacket before she even finished explaining.
âshe kept saying⌠uh, really weird stuff,â seojung added nervously. âlikeâplease donât be mad, okay?âbut she was screaming in the middle of the street that she was gonna die a virgin because her own best friend refused to help her.â
haechan stopped dead in his tracks, blinking in disbelief. âshe said what?â
âi know! i was like, girl, stop embarrassing yourself! but she kept going. she even tried to climb on a statue to do a dramatic monologue or something, it was chaos.â
the line went quiet for a second.
âanyway,â seojung continued, âwe canât take her to the dormsâthey donât let us bring people in after curfew, and sheâs way too far gone to be alone. youâre the only person she might listen to. can you come get her?â
âiâm on my way,â haechan said without hesitation, already sprinting out the back door. he didnât even clock out. his coworkers just watched in stunned silence as he bolted into the freezing night air, hoodie half-zipped, hair disheveled, heart pounding.
he didnât know exactly what heâd find when he got there.
but part of him was already bracing for it.
despite the cold weather, you had decided to wear a short velvet dress, sheer black tights, and an oversized puffer jacket that looked hilariously disproportionate on youâbut also kind of cute. haechan blinked twice when he realized the jacket was his. the one heâd been looking for since last week. seeing you in it made his chest do something strange, tight and warm, like a coil winding in his ribs.
you looked disoriented, your makeup slightly smudged, your eyes glassy but still sparkly. your long legs peeked out from under the hem of the dress, knees wobbling as you leaned heavily on seojung for support. Behind her were yeri and jiminâboth trying to look casual but clearly avoiding haechanâs gaze.
âsorry for calling so suddenly,â seojung said with an awkward smile, shifting nervously on her feet. âwe didnât know who else to callâŚâ
âshe just kept saying your name,â yeri added, crossing her arms.
âsheâs been⌠emotional,â jimin muttered, eyes darting to the side. âalsoâsorry for⌠earlier stuff.â
the three girls looked anywhere but at haechan. there was something stiff in the air, a subtle frost behind their polite words. they knew what had happened. they knew heâd rejected you.
âthanks for looking after her,â haechan said simply, ignoring the tension as he gently took your arm. you mumbled something about âfuck friendshipâ and âiâll die a virgin anyway,â making all three girls wince in embarrassment.
after quick goodbyes, they left hurriedly. haechan helped you into a cab, the inside warm and dimly lit, smelling faintly of peppermint and old leather.
âaddress?â the driver asked.
haechan rattled it off. the driver glanced in the rearview mirror and smiled.
âcute couple,â he said.
âohâweâre notââ haechan began, but the man cut him off.
âyoung love. must be nice,â he chuckled. âleaving work in the middle of your shift to take care of your drunk girlfriend. thatâs real devotion, son.â
haechan opened his mouth to correct him again, but thenâ
âHE REJECTED ME!â you suddenly shouted, head lolling dramatically to the side. âI asked him to have sex with me and he SAID NO.â
yhe cab fell into a stunned silence.
ââŚah,â the driver finally said. âone-sided love, then.â
haechan wanted to crawl out of the moving car and disappear into the road. yhe driver shook his head sympathetically.
âyouâre making a mistake, boy,â he said gravely. âa pretty lady like this? she wonât wait forever. you two already look like a couple. all thatâs missing is the kiss.â
haechan glanced down at you, now slumped against his side, your cheek pressed to his shoulder. your makeup was a mess, your breath reeked of gin and lime, and you were clutching the hem of his jacket like it was your last lifeline.
and somehow, even like this, you looked heartbreakingly beautiful.
haechan stepped out of the taxi and paid the driver, the man's words echoing in his head like a song stuck on repeat. âyouâre letting a good girl slip awayâŚâ he shouldnât care what some stranger thought, but there was something about the way the guy said it â confident, certain â that made the sentence stick like honey to the roof of his mouth.
he turned around just in time to see you stepping out of the cab in your short dress, sheer tights hugging your legs, and a massive oversized jacket drowning your frame. his oversized jacket.
his breath caught a little. you looked both sexy and soft â long, graceful legs out in the cold, but your face flushed from alcohol and framed by the collar of his jacket. somehow, even in that state, you looked... perfect.
âyou know where we are, right?â he asked gently, offering you his hand.
you nodded lazily, squinting at the familiar entrance of your apartment complex. but instead of walking toward it, you turned to him, a sly, sleepy smile playing on your lips.
âi donât wanna go to my apartment,â you said, voice low and vaguely suggestive.
haechan blinked. âyou need to sleep. youâre drunk.â
âi donât wanna go to my apartment,â you repeated, this time slower, like you were daring him to challenge you. âi lost my keys.â
âyou what?â his voice cracked as he stared at you in disbelief. âwhere the hell are you gonna sleep then?â
you tilted your head, your eyes glinting under the streetlight. âwith you.â
silence.
haechanâs mouth opened slightly, the color rushing to his face like fire. he stammered, trying to find the words â to remind you of your promise, of how you said you'd drop this whole thing and start over.
but before he could say a word, you leaned forward with a groan and threw up directly into a nearby bush.
âoh, shitââ he muttered, rushing to hold you. he gathered your hair, gently rubbed your back, whispering reassurances under his breath. âokay, okay, itâs fine⌠just let it outâŚâ
eventually, you straightened up, eyes glassy, cheeks damp from the cold wind. he sighed and wrapped an arm around you, leading you toward his place â your weight half-slumped against him.
inside, the warmth of his small apartment wrapped around you both. he carefully sat you on the couch and disappeared into the kitchen, filling a glass of water and setting a tea kettle on the stove.
you watched him in silence for a moment before breaking it. âi know what i said,â you murmured. âAbout letting it go. About forgetting. but i canât. i literally canât.â
he froze, slowly turning toward you.
âi feel like a hormonal teenager,â you laughed bitterly, wiping your mouth. âI keep thinking about you. about what i asked you. about what it would be like.â
ây/nâŚâ he warned gently, setting the water beside you.
âi have this thing,â you blurted. âwith my sunbae. jung jaehyun. heâs⌠god, heâs stupidly hot. tall, broad shoulders, perfect hair, every girl wants him. he only sleeps with older women â the kind who know what theyâre doing. and I just⌠i donât want to disappoint him.â
haechanâs expression darkened, not with anger, but something deeper. âso you wanted to use me as practice?â he asked, voice low.
âiâm not trying to use you,â you said, firm but vulnerable. âyouâre my best friend. i trust you more than anyone. and youâre⌠youâre good at it.â
haechan blinked. âwhat?â
âyouâre good in bed.â
he narrowed his eyes, stepping closer. âand how the hell do you know that?â
you gave a half-smirk. âyou talk about it all the time, remember? bragging about your conquests like a walking NSFW podcast. you made it sound like you practically invented foreplay.â
haechan groaned, dragging a hand down his face. âgod, I was joking half the timeââ
âbut thatâs exactly why i asked you in the first place,â you cut in, locking eyes with him. âbecause thereâs no one else iâd trust for something like this. and letâs be honestââ you tilted your head with a teasing smile. âitâs not like youâve gotten laid recently either.â
his jaw tensed. âiâm not desperate for sex, y/n.â
âoh, really?â you raised an eyebrow. âso those midnight jerk-off sessions because of your dreams about me are just⌠what? a new coping mechanism?â
his face burned red. âhow do youâ?!â
âi may have heard a little something.â you sipped your water dramatically. âyouâre not as quiet as you think.â
âi hate you,â he muttered under his breath, turning away to hide the growing smirk on his lips.
âno, you donât.â
you stood up slowly, unsteady but serious, your eyes fixed on his. âif we did this⌠it would be safe. familiar. no weirdness. just⌠two people helping each other out.â
âthatâs not what this is about for you though, is it?â he said, voice low.
you looked away for a moment before answering. âno. Itâs not just that. i want to feel⌠wanted. i want to be good at this. and yeah⌠I want to impress jaehyun. but i also⌠want it to be with someone who wonât hurt me.â
and for a moment, everything was quiet. the only sound was the water boiling and both your hearts pounding.
he exhaled sharply, frustrated â but not just at you. At himself. At this whole ridiculous night.
then, haechan stepped closer.
he leaned over, hands gripping the back of the couch, caging you in â his face mere inches from yours. you froze. Your breath hitched. your fingers clenched around the glass.
then, without thinking, you kissed him.
it was messy. desperate. tasting of beer and heat and something reckless.
he kissed you back â just for a second â his hand cupping the side of your face, thumb brushing your cheek. but then he pulled away suddenly, breath heavy, pupils blown wide.
âyouâre drunk,â he said, voice hoarse. âi'm not kissing you like this.â
you blinked up at him, breathless.
âbut if i werenât?â you whispered.
he didnât say anything.
but the fire in his eyes gave you all the answer you needed.
and that silence? it was louder than anything either of you had said all night.
that night, haechan slept on the couch, buried under a mess of blankets. you, on the other hand, took his bed â warm with freshly changed sheets and a white oversized t-shirt that smelled like him. heâd also lent you a hoodie for the cold, soft and worn from use.
when he asked if you'd prefer to sleep with the door shut for privacy, you shook your head and left it cracked open. Just slightly. maybe it was a silent invitation. maybe a part of you hoped he'd come in.
but he didnât.
haechan's self-control was ironclad. he wouldn't touch you â not like that, not when you were drunk, no matter how much you asked. and you had asked. desperately.
by morning, your head throbbed with a brutal hangover. the light leaking through the blinds was cruel and unforgiving. still half-asleep, you blinked at the side table â a glass of water and a neatly placed pill waited for you. of course he remembered.
you padded out into the living room, barefoot, limbs aching. the smell of warm broth hit you first. then the quiet hum of a streamer's voice coming from his computer.
haechan sat hunched at the small dining table, glasses perched on his nose, hair slightly tousled from sleep. he was watching some gaming livestream, lazily slurping noodles from a bowl of ramen. a small pot sat between you, steam still curling up, and beside it â another bowl.
you noticed the sausage in the pot had been sliced perfectly small, just the way you liked. he always remembered little things like that.
your stomach twisted, not with hunger, but something softer. deeper.
without saying anything, haechan patted the seat beside him. you moved toward him slowly, like you were walking through a dream. he didnât look at you â just kept his eyes on the screen as he grabbed the second bowl, carefully ladling ramen into it while glancing back and forth between the pot and your bowl to avoid making a mess.
you let out a quiet, involuntary giggle.
he glanced up at you then â his lips curved ever so slightly. and that's when you noticed it: his thick-rimmed glasses. the ones he only wore when he was deep into gaming or editing something late at night. they made him look effortlessly cool. casual. comfortable.
and stupidly handsome.
âthanks,â you murmured, your voice still hoarse from sleep and dehydration. âfor⌠last night. picking me up.â
he didnât respond at first â just nodded once, still watching the screen. no mention of the kiss. no mention of your drunken confession. nothing. just silence.
the elephant between you had never been bigger.
you glanced sideways again and noticed the dark circles under his eyes â deep and tired. heâd barely slept.
âyou okay?â you asked gently.
âiâm fine,â he said, pushing up his glasses with a knuckle. âyou had it worse.â
you looked down at the bowl in front of you, steam rising like it was trying to fill the silence. you slurped a noodle quietly, chewing.
thatâs when you noticed something else.
the shape of his jaw as he ate â sharp, cut like stone under soft skin. youâd seen him eat ramen a hundred times, but this was the first time you really looked. the way his throat moved when he swallowed. the subtle flex of his neck. his collarbone peeking from under his hoodie. even the slope of his nose and the way his glasses rested perfectly above his cheekbones.
he wasnât just your best friend. he was⌠really attractive.
painfully so.
and that realization made your stomach clench â not from the hangover, but from something dangerously close to want.
you sat there, fingers wrapped around the warm ceramic of the ramen bowl, the heat grounding you as your mind spun.
âheyâŚâ your voice came out soft, hesitant. âabout last nightââ
the sound of his chopsticks hitting the table made you jump. it wasnât loud, but it was enough. enough to cut through the quiet and slice the conversation before it could begin.
haechan didnât look at you. his jaw tensed as he stared at the table, hands clenched loosely on either side of his bowl.
you froze. unsure.
he inhaled through his nose, controlled, calculated. then, finally, he spoke. âif youâre done eating⌠maybe you should call a locksmith. for your apartment.â
your stomach dropped.
just like that, the warmth left the room. or maybe it was still there, but it couldnât reach you anymore.
âo-oh.â you blinked. âyeah⌠right. my keys.â
he stood up slowly, not rushed, just⌠distant. like something inside him had gone cold.
you watched him close the laptop screen with one hand, then gather his bowl and yours, moving with quiet efficiency. not meeting your gaze once.
you couldnât move. couldnât speak. the shift was too sharp, too sudden. it left you sitting there like a statue, hands still wrapped around the now lukewarm bowl.
âiâll wash these,â he muttered, almost to himself.
you opened your mouth, but nothing came out. your throat was tight, words caught somewhere between confusion and guilt. you hadnât meant to ruin the morning. hadnât meant to push.
but there it was again â the elephant. bigger than ever.
and this time, haechan had chosen to turn his back on it.
you stood up slowly, the chair scraping against the floor. he was already at the sink, rinsing the dishes like it was any other sunday. like nothing happened. like you hadnât kissed him. like you hadnât confessed the things that had been burning you from the inside out.
but your eyes were stuck on his back. the slope of his shoulders. the way his hoodie clung slightly at the waist. and still â that feeling. that gnawing ache deep in your chest.
he was right there. and still, he felt so far away.
âhaechanâŚâ your voice barely carried.
he didnât turn around.
you bit your lip. hard. maybe you had crossed a line. maybe he was just being kind last night, and you mistook it for something else. maybeâ
âi need to shower,â he said abruptly, setting the last plate down. âyou can use my phone to call someone.â
and then he was gone, the bathroom door closing with a click that echoed too loudly in the silence he left behind.
you were alone again.
but this time, it hurt more than it shouldâve.
your phone was still dead.
you hadnât charged it since last night, and at this point, it didnât matter. you werenât exactly in the mood to speak to anyone else anyway.
you curled up on the couch, pulling your knees to your chest, arms wrapping tightly around them like they could somehow protect you from the weight pressing on your chest. you stared blankly ahead, trying to piece together what went wrong.
you hadnât meant to make things weird. you hadnât meant to cross a line. and yet⌠you did. and now, all of it felt like a mistake unraveling at your feet.
you chewed on your lip, eyes unfocused.
was it when you asked to stay with him? or when you told him the truth â that you couldnât stop thinking about him, that you wanted to learn with him because you trusted him? maybe it was the kiss. that moment, hazy and laced with beer, when you leaned in and felt his lips move against yours. he kissed you back. you were sure of it.
but now⌠maybe it wasnât enough. or maybe it was too much.
the sound of the bathroom door opening pulled you from your spiral. you looked up, heart stuttering in your chest.
haechan stepped out, steam drifting behind him in lazy clouds. his black t-shirt clung to his skin slightly, still damp from the shower. his sweatpants sat low on his hips, and around his neck hung a white towel, which he used intermittently to ruffle through his damp, dark hair.
he looked surprised to see you still there.
his expression flattened quickly, going unreadable. âyou still havenât called the locksmith?â
you didnât answer.
he sighed and ran a hand through his hair, towel dragging with it. ây/nâŚâ
but you were already crying.
your face was turned away, but he saw the tremble in your shoulders, the way your hands gripped tighter around your legs. the soft sound of you trying not to make a sound.
âiâm sorry,â you whispered, voice cracking under the weight of your own words. âi ruined everything.â
he went quiet.
âi shouldâve never suggested that,â you continued, barely audible. âi didnât mean to treat you like youâre someâ some kind of object. i was just thinking about myself. about what i wanted. and that was selfish. i wasnât thinking about you.â
he still didnât move.
âi justââ you swallowed thickly, lifting your head to look at him through blurry eyes. âi wasnât trying to use you. i swear. i⌠i just trust you. youâre my best friend. and maybe i took that too far. i just⌠i feel like iâve messed everything up.â
you laughed bitterly. âyou didnât even have to say anything. your face this morning said it all.â
for a second, haechan just looked at you. his gaze scanned your face â your tear-stained cheeks, your trembling mouth. the regret swimming in your eyes.
then he sighed and walked closer. dropped the towel onto the coffee table. crouched down in front of you.
âyouâre not the only one whoâs confused,â he said, voice softer now. âand yeah, maybe last night was messy. maybe we said shit we werenât supposed to. but⌠you didnât ruin anything.â
your breath hitched.
he leaned in, resting a hand gently on your knee.
âyouâre not selfish for wanting something. and youâre not using me. i know you.â his voice dropped a bit, more intimate now. âmaybe thatâs why itâs so hard to pretend it didnât affect me.â
you blinked. ââŚwhat?â
he looked up at you from where he knelt. âyou said⌠kissing could help calm you down. remember?â
your eyes widened.
he tilted his head, a small, careful smirk pulling at the edge of his mouth.
âso⌠if it helpsâŚâ he leaned closer, letting his hand trail up your thigh. âi could kiss you again.â
you stopped breathing.
your lips parted, unsure of what to say. but your body moved before your brain could catch up. you leaned in.
he met you halfway.
this kiss was different. slower. more controlled. still tasting faintly of mint and something warm, like cinnamon from the tea heâd made earlier. his hand cradled your cheek this time, thumb brushing softly beneath your eye.
it wasnât rushed. it wasnât hungry.
but it burned.
and then he pulled back, just barely.
âbut only when youâre sober,â he whispered against your lips, breath warm. âonly when you really mean it.â
you nodded slowly, heart pounding so loud it drowned out everything else.
âokay,â you breathed. âokay.â
and for now â that was enough.
a few weeks passed.
you had finally gotten a replacement set of keys and returned to your apartment. that weekend was a blur of mundane thingsâscrubbing your bathroom floor until your arms ached, catching up on overdue sketches, finishing the last pages of an assignment youâd been dodging for weeks. you needed the quiet. the stillness. a chance to feel like yourself again.
but even in your own bed, the cold side of the sheets reminded you of that one night you hadnât slept alone.
the kiss with haechan had, strangely, softened everything between you. the awkwardness melted away like snow on sunlit pavement. now, you were gentler with each other. your laughter came easier. your glances lingered longer. but the elephantâthe weight of what that kiss meantânever left. it simply learned to sit quietly in the corner.
on tuesday afternoon, you were leaving the print room when you nearly ran into jaehyun.
"whoa, careful, pretty girl," he said, catching your elbow with a hand that felt way too steady, too confident.
âsorry,â you chuckled, tucking your hair behind your ear. jaehyun always looked like he belonged in some magazine spreadâjaw carved from stone, lashes too long for someone that smug, silver rings glinting against his fingers like he knew where the light would hit.
âwhat brings you over here?â he asked, eyeing your sketch tube slung across your shoulder.
âprofessor cho. needed some stuff for his class. heâs on his power trip again.â
âclassic,â he smirked. âlisten⌠weâre having something this friday. low-key. not one of those packed, flyer-in-the-bathroom kind of things. just a curated crowd. people who get it.â
your brow arched. âcurated?â
he laughed. âyeah. you know. people with taste.â
you rolled your eyes, but couldnât stop the smile tugging at your lips.
âyou should come,â he added, stepping a little closer. âmight help with that tension youâve been carrying around.â
âwhat tension?â you teased.
he leaned in, eyes flicking down your face. âthe kind that makes you think too much. sometimes you gotta stop overanalyzing and just feel it.â
âfeel what?â
his smile was maddening. âdepends who you end up with.â
you laughed it off, but your cheeks were already warm. maybe he was flirting. maybe he wasnât. either way, the idea sat in your chest like a dare.
you thought about it all the way back to your place. and later that night, lying on your bed staring at the ceiling, you let yourself wonder what itâd be like to⌠try. to stop guessing what sex felt like and actually find out. you didnât want to rush it. but you didnât want to keep floating in uncertainty either.
and somewhere else on campus, haechan couldnât stop thinking about you either.
he was standing in the backroom of the burger place, mirror fogged with steam, face damp and flushed from another rush. and there you were. again. in his head. like youâd carved a space he couldnât seal shut.
he felt pathetic.
like some teenage boy discovering self-pleasure for the first time. except it wasnât discoveryâit was addiction. every night, without fail, his body woke him up with a pulse he couldnât ignore. his hand would slide beneath the waistband of his sweats, his breath shallow, mind full of you. always you.
and god, those lips.
maybe he shouldâve never kissed you.
but the second your mouth touched his, something inside him had snapped. like it had been waiting for that moment all along. youâd kissed him with a kind of messy urgencyâtoo fast, too eager, bumping teeth before finding a rhythm. but then came the softness. the unspoken need. the trust. you had tasted like beer and breath mints and something far too intimate for a one-time thing.
now, he couldnât un-feel it.
behind the counter, heâd zone out mid-shift, hands wet from dishes, and suddenly heâd remember the way you had moaned into his mouth. the way you had gripped his hoodie like you were holding on for dear life. the way your body had melted into his.
he couldnât stop picturing you in that black dress, jacket slipping off your shoulder, legs crossed like a sin. or the way your lips had parted when you looked at him like you needed more. like you wanted him.
and at nightâhis room dark, quiet, too warmâhe would close his eyes and imagine your thighs on either side of his hips. your voice whispering his name. your nails on his skin.
he used to admire you from a safe place. used to think of you as a friend, maybe even a muse. now? now he couldnât look at you without imagining what it would be like to bury his face between your legs. to ruin you a little. just enough.
he hated how much he needed it.
he hated how much he missed the feel of your mouth on his.
he hated that he wanted more.
you were stepping out of your digital illustration class, bag slung over your shoulder, neck stiff from hunching over your campaign poster project. when you exited the building, you spotted him right awayâhaechan, hoodie sleeves pushed up, hands tucked into his backpack straps like heâd been waiting a while.
you always found him there these days.
âhey,â you said, breathless from the stairs. âthanks for waiting. again.â
he gave a casual shrug. âyou make it sound like i have a life.â
âdo you?â
ââŚnot really.â
you both smiled.
as you walked side by side, the sun cast long shadows behind you, painting the concrete in soft amber. you werenât touching. but it felt like you were. something invisible had always linked you two. lately, thoughâit tugged harder.
âso,â you said, voice light, âi think iâm gonna go to that party. tomorrowâ
he blinked. âjaehyunâs?â
you nodded. âhe made it sound... exclusive.â
âand youâre going?â
you smirked at his tone. âmight be an opportunity.â
he stiffened beside you. âopportunity for what?â
you gave him a look. âyou know what.â
he stopped. âyouâre really gonna sleep with him?â
your cheeks flared, heart skipping. âno. itâs not like that. i just⌠maybe itâs time to try. get some answers.â
you watched his face carefully. saw the way his jaw locked. the way his brows twitched.
âbut,â you added softly, âif it happens⌠it happens.â
and then, bold as ever, you turned to him. âunless you still wanna help me.â
his breath caught.
âwe already kissed,â you said, eyes steady on his. âfeels like weâve done half the homework. next partâs sex, right? thatâs what comes after. and youâyouâre the one who used to brag about how good you were at it.â
he looked like youâd cornered him. because you had.
âremember those nights youâd ramble about girls? âher tits are insaneâ, âiâd fold her in a secondââthat was you, haechan. your words.â
he swallowed, hard. âi didnât think you were listening.â
âi always listen to you,â you said, voice barely above a whisper. âespecially when you talk about what you like.â
and then, with a wicked grin: âand letâs be honest. guys lose their minds over tits and ass. thatâs not complicated.â
his silence told you everything.
you took one step closer, slow and steady.
âso?â you asked again, quieter now. âare you still willing to help me?â
and he didnât answer.
not with words.
but you saw it in his eyesâthe panic, the desire, the war between instinct and restraint.
you had no idea how long he could keep resisting.
but you were getting closer to finding out.
the night felt quieter than usual when they arrived at your apartment. your didnât speak. the walk there had been filled with those kinds of silences that donât necessarily feel awkward, but make you too aware of your own thoughts. you walked a few steps ahead of haechan, and he found himself watching you â the way your fingers twisted nervously, the slight tension in your shoulders, the soft sway of your hair brushing your back. he could tell she was unsure. and if he was being honest, so was he.
heâd never seen you like this before. not really. not in this light. thereâd always been this boundary between both of you, this invisible thread that kept everything just on the edge of becoming something else. but lately⌠it had changed. the way she looked at him lingered a little longer. the way he touched you â in small, passing moments â felt less like habit and more like gravity. and right now, standing in the dim glow of your apartment, he realized just how close you were to crossing that invisible line.
he stands close, but not touching, his gaze fixed on you with a kind of careful intensity that makes your skin warm.
you unlock the door without saying a word, your fingers fumbling slightly. you can feel his eyes on you, not judging, just watching. when you step inside, he follows, closing the door behind him with a soft click.
inside, itâs quiet. you cross the room and sit on the edge of your bed, heart racing.
he doesnât follow you immediately. Instead, he leans against the wall, arms crossed loosely over his chest, his expression unreadable. you feel his eyes on your back as you drop your keys onto the counter, your breath shaky, heart pacing with something you donât quite understand but desperately want to. when you finally turn around to face him, heâs already watching you â not with that usual teasing smile, but with something heavier, deeper. something that feels like want.
you turned to face him, eyes uncertain, but there was something else behind them. something softer. something raw. âi want to do it,â you said, your voice barely above a whisper.Â
âstill thinking about your plan?â he asks softly, voice calm, like heâs trying not to spook you.
you nod slowly. âi just⌠i want to be good for jaehyun.â
his jaw tightens just a little, barely noticeable. but his voice doesnât change. âyouâre trying to learn how to please someone else,â he says, stepping closer, âwhen you havenât even taken the time to learn yourself.â
you blink, suddenly unsure. âi thought⌠thatâs what you were going to help me with.â
he exhales gently, closing the space between you, close enough that you can feel the heat radiating off his chest. âi will. but only if you let me take the lead. if you trust me completely. no pretending. no rushing. just⌠you. raw. honest.â
your breath catches in your throat. something about the way he says it, the quiet authority in his tone, the way he looks at you like he already knows your body better than you do â it makes you ache in places youâve barely dared to explore on your own.
âokay,â you whisper, your voice trembling. âiâll do whatever you say.â
his eyes soften. thereâs something unspoken there â a tension thatâs been building between you for longer than you realized. and now itâs finally unraveling.
âthen take off your clothes,â he says, his voice low, steady. âlie back.â
your fingers feel clumsy, nerves fluttering in your chest as you undress. he doesnât look away. his gaze follows every inch of skin you reveal like heâs memorizing you. but it never feels invasive. it feels⌠reverent. when youâre finally bare, you lie down, body exposed, unsure, vulnerable. he doesnât move right away. he just watches, like heâs waiting for you to fully settle into the moment.
âyouâre beautiful,â he says quietly. âbut iâm not going to touch you until i see that you believe it, too.â
you want to believe it. you want to feel beautiful in your own skin, not just because someone else says it, but because something inside you says you deserve to be. but right now, all you feel is nervous. exposed. seen.
he kneels at the edge of the bed, his eyes never leaving yours. âyouâre safe,â he murmurs. âyouâre in control. iâm just guiding you.â
his hand touches your thigh, light as air, and your breath stutters. the warmth of his palm spreads through you like liquid, grounding and electric all at once. he doesnât rush. his fingers explore slowly, tracing the curve of your hip, the softness of your stomach, the inside of your thigh. each touch is a question, and your breath is the answer.
when his fingers finally find you, you gasp â not because itâs too much, but because itâs perfect. just enough. just right. he doesnât push, doesnât demand. he simply explores, watching every reaction, every shift of your hips, every shaky breath you take like itâs the only thing that matters.
his fingers finally reach where you need them, but he doesnât go straight for it â no, he teases, tracing along the outer edge of your heat, making you gasp at the sudden jolt of electricity. your hips shift instinctively, seeking friction, but his free hand presses gently against your stomach, grounding you.
âeasy,â he murmurs. âweâre not rushing. i want to feel every part of you fall apart.â
your head tips back against the pillow, lips parted, eyes fluttering shut as his fingers finally slip between your folds â gentle at first, just enough pressure to make your toes curl. he exhales softly, as if the heat of you surprises even him.
ârelax,â he whispers. âfeel. donât think about whatâs next. just stay with me. here.â
his fingers stroke you with a patience you didnât know could exist, learning your body like itâs a language only he can understand. youâre wet, embarrassingly so, and he seems to revel in it, the way your body responds to his touch. he circles your clit with slow, practiced motions, his thumb brushing over you with maddening precision. youâre moaning now, soft and quiet, not even realizing the sounds are yours.
âfuck,â he whispers. âyouâre soaked.â
your cheeks flush, but any embarrassment is quickly replaced by want as he finds your clit, rubbing slow, deliberate circles that make your legs tremble.
you whimper his name, voice barely there, and his response is a low groan against your skin. âthatâs it, baby. let me hear you.â
his mouth is everywhere now â at your neck, your chest, sucking marks into your skin like he wants to claim you, mark you, make you his. and god, part of you wants it too â wants to be wanted like this, worshipped like this.
his fingers move lower, one pressing gently at your entrance, testing. âyou okay?â he asks, voice soft but thick with desire.
âyes,â you gasp, clutching at his wrist. âplease.â
your hips begin to move on their own, chasing the rhythm of his fingers. the pressure is building, coiling deep inside your core, unfamiliar and terrifying and addictive. he slips a finger inside you, slow and gentle, curling just right, and you cry out, your body clenching around him without meaning to.
âh-hyuck...â you cried.
âyou like that?â he asks, voice rough now, closer to a groan than a whisper. you nod frantically, unable to form words, your hands gripping the sheets like theyâre the only thing.
he slides in slow, giving you time to adjust, watching your face the whole time. his thumb returns to your clit, rubbing in time with the slow push of his finger. your breath stutters, and he leans in to kiss you, stealing the sound from your lips.
you moan into his mouth, overwhelmed, undone, as he adds a second finger, the stretch just enough to make your back arch. he curls them just right, finding that spot inside you that makes your thighs shake.
âthere it is,â he groans, his lips brushing yours. âfuck, you feel so good.â
you canât answer. you can barely think. all you can do is feel â the heat building inside you, the pull of release so close you can taste it.
âdonât hold back,â he whispers against your neck. âi want to feel you fall apart for me.â
and when he starts moving faster â fingers pumping deep and sure, thumb pressing harder against your clit â itâs too much. the pressure breaks, crashing over you like a tidal wave. your body tenses, then shatters, crying out his name as you come harder than you ever have before.
he holds you through it, kissing your jaw, your cheek, your lips. his fingers slow but donât leave you, drawing out every last wave of pleasure until youâre trembling beneath him, boneless and gasping.
âlet go,â he murmurs again, lips brushing against your ear. âdonât hold back. iâve got you.â
his thumb presses harder against your clit, his fingers moving faster, more deliberate, and the pressure explodes inside you, all at once â a wave crashing over your body with violent tenderness. you cry out, shaking, the world narrowing to nothing but heat and light and the sound of his voice grounding you as your orgasm rips through you.
he finally pulls away, resting his forehead against yours. his breath is ragged, his eyes full of something you donât quite understand â but you feel it in your chest. raw. intense. real.
âyou donât know what you just did to me,â he whispers, voice hoarse.
your body arches, muscles tightening, breath gone, and everything â everything â goes quiet except for the echo of your release.
and when you open your eyes to meet his, you realize something terrifying and beautiful â you donât think youâll ever look at him the same again.
your back pressed against the sheets, your skin bare under the dim, golden light of your room, your breath already shaky as haechan settles beside you, fully clothed, fully in control. you should feel nervous, and maybe you do, but itâs buried under something stronger â something warmer. the way heâs looking at you now is enough to make you forget how to breathe.
haechan sits on the edge of your bed, staring at his handânow cleanâlike he canât believe what just happened. his breath is heavier than he wants to admit. his thoughts are scrambled, the feeling of touching you, of showing you something he never thought heâd share, overwhelms him. something inside him burns, something he doesnât know if itâs frustration or desire, but he feels it with an intensity he canât control.
when you step out of the shower, your skin still warm from the hot water, he stays there, still. you go through your skincare routine, but every movement seems to echo in him more than it should. the way your fingers brush against your face, the way you move... everything feels different now. he watches in silence, the space between you now thick with something unspoken.
âi didnât think it would feel like that,â you say softly, breaking the silence. your voice has a tremor you canât hide. âthank you... for helping me.â
the gesture feels sincere, but thereâs something in your eyes that makes him feel exposed. he doesnât quite understand it. he tells himself itâs fine, that heâs just helping you, that heâs just being there for you. but his body betrays him, his jaw tightens, and his fingers twitch at his side.
âyou donât need to thank me,â he says, his voice quiet, almost too quiet. âyou just needed to know yourself. thatâs all.â
you pause, pressing moisturizer into your skin, still feeling that soft hum in your body, a low buzz you canât seem to shake off. itâs from what happened, but you try to tell yourself itâs just the adrenaline, just nerves. nothing more.
âi think i can handle things now,â you reply, keeping your eyes on your reflection in the mirror. âmaybe tomorrow at the party... iâll kiss jaehyun, just see how it goes. no pressure. i donât want to rush.â
the moment the words leave your mouth, you feel itâthe way the air shifts between you two. you donât mean to look at haechan when you say jaehyunâs name, but you do. and his eyes flicker for just a second, something hard behind them that he quickly hides. he doesnât react out loud, but his shoulders stiffen, his mouth pressing into a tight line.
âyeah,â he says, his voice controlled, but you can hear the tightness underneath. âsounds like a good idea. you deserve to figure out what you want.â
you smile, trying to lighten the mood, but something in you catches as you look at him. you feel like youâve said the wrong thing, but youâre not sure why. haechan doesnât look at you anymore. he stares at the floor, his jaw working like heâs holding something back.
he doesnât let himself show it. he canât. youâre his best friend, and he promised to help you, to guide you, not to get caught up in his own feelings. but with every word you speak, with every step you take toward jaehyun, something deep inside him twists.
heâs tasted something he shouldnât want. and now, the thought of you with someone elseâeven someone you loveâis unbearable.
still, he says nothing. he canât. because he promised to help you discover yourself, not to confuse you more.
even if every part of him wants to be the only one who gets to touch you like that again.
friday came faster than expected, slipping through the cracks of your week like it had been waiting for you. unlike the other days, this one was bitterly coldâthe kind of cold that crept into your sleeves and curled around your spine. haechan had texted you earlier, his usual playful tone dulled by exhaustion. "today i actually have to close, so iâll be stuck at work late," he wrote, followed by a yawning emoji and a tired little heart. you stared at the message longer than you shouldâve, feeling something heavy settle in your chest.
the cold winter air bites at your legs as you step out of the cab, your breath fogging in front of you in soft clouds. the house isnât just any houseâitâs one of the old fraternity houses on the edge of campus, the kind that looks more like a mansion than a place college boys live in. warm light glows from the tall windows, and the low hum of music leaks out from behind the heavy wooden door before it swings open.
jaehyun is already waiting, leaning casually against the doorframe. he looks unfairly goodâhis hair slightly tousled, a dark turtleneck hugging his figure under a sleek wool coat. he gives you that smile, the one that always makes your stomach twist in ways youâve never really understood.
âyou made it,â he says, stepping aside to let you in.
you settled on a black leather jacket, cropped just above the waist, its silver zippers catching the light every time you moved. underneath, you wore a satin navy blouse, soft and loose, with a deep neckline that hinted without revealing too much. your high-waisted dark jeans hugged your figure just right, paired with heeled ankle boots that clicked confidently against the pavement. a silk scarf, deep burgundy, wrapped around your neckânot just for warmth, but as a finishing touch. your hair was pulled back loosely, tendrils framing your face, and your makeup was soft but sharpâdark liner, flushed cheeks, and a deep berry gloss that caught the chill in the air.
you notice jaehyunâs gaze drop, lingering for a beat too long before he leads you inside.
the party isnât crowdedâmaybe twenty people, maybe less. itâs quiet in that expensive kind of way: muted music, low lighting, golden liquor sloshing in crystal glasses. thereâs laughter and whispers, but nothing too wild. youâre not sure what you expected, but somehow it feels more intimate than youâd prepared for.
after your second drink, the room gets a little warmer. the vodka-orange is stronger than you thought, but it burns in a good way. youâre not drunk, not like that night, but the edges of your thoughts are softer, looser.
the music is barely audible now, just a low pulse behind your ribs as jaehyun leans in. it happens the way you always imagined it wouldâwith the warmth of alcohol in your veins, the subtle tension in the air, his breath fanning softly against your cheek as his lips finally meet yours.
at first, itâs cinematic.
his hand is at your waist, careful but firm. his lips, smooth and slow, move against yours like heâs done this a thousand times. his cologne is richâsomething expensive and clean, like bergamot and wood.
âyou look incredible tonight,â he murmurs, voice low. Itâs not the first time heâs flirted with you, but tonight it feels more focused.
you laugh lightly, sipping again. âyou say that to every girl you invite to one of these,â you tease.
he smirks. âi donât. just the ones i hope will stay after everyone else leaves.â
that catches you off guard. thereâs a pause, the kind thatâs heavy with implication. you donât answer right away. instead, you tilt your head, watching him through the haze of dim lights and liquor.
more intentional. you close your eyes, willing your heart to speed up, your stomach to twist, your knees to weaken.
but none of it happens.
instead, thereâs a slow, creeping emptiness that settles over your skin. you taste the sharp tang of beer on his tongueâbitter and staleâand it dulls the moment like a film of dust on something once shiny. itâs not that heâs doing anything wrong. in fact, heâs doing everything right. and maybe thatâs the problem. itâs all too perfect. too rehearsed. too... lifeless.
you keep your lips against his a second longer, maybe two, hoping that if you just try, the magic will follow.
but it doesnât.
what started as something dreamlike begins to dissolve, unraveling into something flat. weightless. forgettable. like kissing a statueâbeautiful, yes, but cold. you feel your body slowly disconnect, like your mind is pulling away, shrinking back into itself. youâre kissing jaehyun. jaehyun. tall, broad-shouldered, silver-tongued. the guy every girl fantasizes about.
and yet... nothing.
when you pull away, you do it gently, trying not to show the disappointment pressing against your chest like a bruise. he looks at you with those deep, unreadable eyes, but you canât meet them for long. something in you already knows: this isnât what you wanted. maybe it never was.
and then, like clockwork, your thoughts betray you.
because in the silence that follows, in that stretch of breathless stillness, a name rises uninvited in your mind.
haechan.
you blink, shaken by the immediacy of it. why him, of all people? but it doesnât stop. your mind floods with him, with everything he is and isnât. jaehyun is all sharp lines and polished edges. heâs winter: sleek and cold, dressed in cashmere and shadows. and haechan...
haechan is sun-warmed skin and mischievous smiles. heâs a burst of color in a black-and-white room. his skin is golden, kissed by sun even in december. you remember the first time he wore glasses in classâhow suddenly he looked different. not in a new way, but like you were finally seeing something that had been there all along. it had startled you. he looked good. really good. and youâd stared a little longer than you meant to.
you think about how he always cradles that old gaming console on his lap during breaks, fingers dancing over buttons like it's second nature. how he talks about characters and plots with the same intensity people reserve for politics or love. how he orders black coffee like it's a religion, never anything sweet. how he complains about the cold like it's a personal offenseâbundling up in layers and still shivering, nose pink, eyes watery, grumbling but cute.
and you remember something else.
the way his eyes light up when he talks about music. not just any musicâheâs always been drawn to layered melodies, harmonies that build slowly, that sneak up on you. youâd caught him once, eyes closed, headphones in, mouthing the words to a song you didnât recognize. something soft and slow. when you asked what it was, he smiled, kind of shy, and said, âitâs this track i foundâit builds so gently, but when it hits, it hits. it makes you feel everything, you know?â
you didnât then. but now, maybe you do.
because thatâs what haechan is like. he builds slowly. gently. he makes you feel everything without trying. without asking. just by being.
you think back to his kissâthat moment in the quiet of his room, when the world felt too small and too loud all at once. his lips werenât smooth or calculated. they were warm. real. tasting faintly of coffee and breath mints, of nervousness and care. his hands werenât firmâthey trembled just a little. like he wasnât sure, but he wanted to be. and that kiss? it burned. it lingered. it left something behind in your chest, something heavy and aching.
jaehyunâs kiss, in comparison, feels like water evaporating before it ever touches your skin.
âi need some air,â you say, barely loud enough to hear over the music.
you step away from the kitchen, your hands shaking slightlyânot from cold, but from clarity. itâs unsettling, how fast something can shift. how a fantasy can collapse in on itself the moment reality arrives.
you walk toward the front door, ignoring jaehyunâs curious glance. and as the winter air hits your cheeks again, sharp and sobering, you realize the only thing you want right now is warmth.
and the only person whoâs ever made you feel it... is haechan.
you step outside, the cold air biting at your cheeks like reality trying to sober you up. itâs quiet out here, except for the faint music pulsing through the windows behind you and the distant sound of traffic. your lips still taste faintly of beer and disappointment, and you try not to let it show on your faceâeven if thereâs no one around to see.
you wrap your arms around yourself, shivering slightly. not just from the cold, but from the feeling growing in your chest. a hollow ache that started the moment jaehyun pulled away and left you with nothing but the bitter aftertaste of something that shouldâve felt magical. it was supposed to mean something. youâd wanted it to. for weeksâmonths evenâyou thought that maybe this was what you needed. something new. something exciting.
but standing there in the dark, with the wind tugging gently at your coat, all you can think about is how wrong it felt.
how empty.
you sigh and glance down at your phone. 11:45 p.m. haechan probably just got home not long agoâhe said heâd be working late tonight, and you remember the slight frown he gave you when you mentioned the party. not because he disapproved. but because he wouldnât be there.
you hesitate, thumb hovering over his contact. calling him now would make you look ridiculous, wouldnât it? but god⌠you need someone. someone who knows you, who doesnât expect you to be dazzling or mysterious or anything other than exactly who you are.
before you can overthink it again, your thumb presses âcall.â
the line barely rings twice before his voice comes through, groggy but alert, like he hadnât really been asleep yet.
"y/n?" his voice is a little breathless, alarmed. "are you okay?"
you donât answer right away. the sound of his voice cracks something open inside you. your throat tightens, and your eyes sting, a rush of heat behind your lashes. the words wonât come, caught somewhere between your tongue and your heart.
"hey, talk to me. what happened?"
his concern hits you like a wave. not because of what heâs saying, but how heâs saying it. gently. urgently. like nothing else in the world matters except you right now. like your silence is enough to make his chest hurt.
you swallow thickly, finally managing to breathe, âi⌠i didnât know who else to call.â
he exhales slowly, like heâs relieved to hear your voice, even if itâs shaky. âiâm glad you called me.â
and itâs so stupidâso fucking stupidâbut thatâs when the tears come. silently at first, then all at once. and still, haechan says nothing. just waits, gives you space to fall apart without asking for an explanation.
he always does that. always shows up, always makes you feel like youâre not too much, even when youâre too much for yourself.
and suddenly you realize somethingânot like a lightning bolt, but like a quiet click, something that was always there, waiting to be noticed. it was never about jaehyun. not really. it was the idea of him. and now, with that illusion shattered, youâre left with the one person whoâs been real all along.
the one who always answers the phone. the one who remembers how you take your coffee. the one who listens when you talk about your art for hours and never pretends to be bored.
âcan youâŚâ your voice is small, choked, âcan you come get me?â
âalready on my way,â he says without hesitation.
and just like that, you feel less alone. maybe not okay, not yetâbut safe.
safe in the way only he ever made you feel.
you step back into the warmth of the house, wiping your cheeks and pretending the cold air is the only reason your eyes are red. inside, the party hasnât changed at allâmusic still pulsing, people still dancing, someone already passed out on a couch. it feels like you left the chaos and walked right back into it, except now it doesn't swallow you whole. now, youâre just⌠drifting.
you spot jaehyun near the kitchen, leaning against the counter, lazily scrolling through his phone. he doesnât look up at first, but when he does, his eyes land on you immediately. he straightens, sliding the phone into his back pocket before making his way toward you.
your stomach knotsânot because you're afraid, but because youâre not sure what you're supposed to say to the guy you just kissed and then immediately ran away from.
before he even opens his mouth, you raise a hand slightly, your words tumbling out faster than you can stop them.
âiâiâm sorry. i just⌠i think i was really into the idea of you. like, really into it. but tonight i realized maybe⌠i donât knowâŚâ
you trail off, eyes dropping to the floor, suddenly very interested in the scuff marks on your boots.
jaehyun quirks a brow, and for a second, itâs awkwardly silentâbut then he lets out a soft laugh. itâs not cruel, not mocking. just⌠amused.
âyou know,â he says, arms crossing over his chest, âwhen we first started talking, i thought you and that guy donghyuck?âwere together. like, definitely together.â
you blink, lifting your head. âwhat?â
âyeah,â he shrugs. âyouâd always come to class with him. always laughing, always close. and the way he looked at you? i figured i didnât stand a chance. but then i saw you alone for a few days, and thought maybe you broke up or something, soâŚâ he gestures vaguely. âi shot my shot.â
you feel your cheeks heat up instantly. âweâre not⌠heâs not my boyfriend. we never dated.â
jaehyun smirks like he doesnât believe you, but also like he knows better than to argue. âsure. maybe not technically. but come on.â he leans in slightly, lowering his voice. âyou really think thereâs nothing going on there?â
you start to protest, but then stop. because heâs not wrong, and youâre too tired to lieâto him or to yourself.
âitâs complicated,â you mutter.
he smiles again, this time softer, more genuine. âwell, if it helps⌠iâm not offended. not at all. i mean, youâre sweet, and you kiss okayââ
âokay?â you gasp, half-laughing, half-horrified.
âhey,â he chuckles, holding up his hands, âit was a mutual âmeh,â right?â
you both burst out laughing, the tension finally breaking like a balloon popped with a pin. for the first time that night, you feel lighter.
âi really thought i liked you,â you admit.
âyou probably did,â he shrugs. âor⌠the idea of me.â
âyeah.â
jaehyun gives you a wink. âfor what itâs worth, i think you and haechan are cute as hell. even if you donât know it yet.â
you roll your eyes, but youâre smiling. a real, unforced smile.
âthanks,â you say quietly.
âanytime,â he replies, already turning toward the kitchen again. âjust⌠donât let that one go, alright?â
and as you watch him disappear into the crowd, your phone buzzes in your pocket.
on my way. almost there.
you press your lips together, the ghost of a smile still there.
maybe you didnât come to this party to kiss jaehyun after all. maybe you came to realize who you shouldâve been calling all along.
the cold bites harder now. youâre standing outside again, fidgeting with the hem of your sleeves, your phone clutched tight in your hand. every passing second feels like itâs stretching eternity, but thenâyou spot him. haechan walks up the sidewalk.
haechan was wearing sweatpants, mismatched socks stuffed into crocs, and a hoodie thatâs too big even for him. his hair is a mess, fluffed and wild like he just rolled out of bedâand he probably did. you freeze, heart caught in your throat, as he blinks at you sleepily, rubbing at one eye with the heel of his palm.
you stare at himâat the boy who still showed up, in the dead of night, after a long shift, just because you needed him. and something inside you swells so big, so full, it spills over before you can contain it.
you donât thinkâyou run.
you crash into him with a force that makes him stumble half a step back, arms instantly wrapping around you, warm and steady. he doesnât say anything. he just holds you, one hand coming up to stroke your hair gently, his breath warm against your temple.
you press your face into his neck, breathing him inâcoffee, fabric softener, something so haechan. your chest heaves, and your eyes sting again.
when he pulls you into his embrace, it feels like the weight of the world finally lifts from your chest. his touch is soft, his fingers brushing against your skin in the most familiar way, like heâs always been there, always meant to be there.
he sighs softly, tugging you closer like heâs scared youâll slip away. âseriously⌠whatâs wrong with you lately?â he murmurs, voice groggy, laced with concern. âwhy are you acting like such a crybaby, huh?â
you lift your head, blinking up at him through the tears that wonât stop pooling. your eyes meet hisâthose deep, sleepy eyes that always seem to see too muchâand your lips part as if to answer, but no words come.
so instead, you kiss him.
you pull him down by the collar of his hoodie and press your mouth to his with all the confusion, all the ache, all the longing youâve buried for far too long. his lips are warm, soft, and as soon as he realizes whatâs happening, he kisses you back.
and then, when you press your lips to his, itâs like every other kiss youâve had fades away into nothingness. the world around you dissolves, and all that remains is the sensation of him. itâs pure, itâs groundingâeverything that jaehyunâs kiss wasnât.
he doesnât ask questions. he doesnât stop you. he just holds you tighter, like heâs afraid this moment might shatter.
his hand cradles your cheek, the pad of his thumb brushing under your eye, and the kiss deepensânot rushed, not clumsy, just real. like heâs trying to tell you all the things neither of you ever dared to say.
your fingers curl into his hoodie as you pour everything into the kissâyour gratitude, your fear, your guilt, your truth.
it feels like you're being purified, as if every trace of doubt, of confusion, of disappointment, is being washed away by the intensity of haechanâs presence. thereâs no bitterness, no strange aftertasteâonly him, only the steady rhythm of his heartbeat as you lose yourself in him. with each second, you realize just how much youâve longed for this, how much youâve needed him, even when you didnât know it. this, this is what real intimacy feels like, and itâs everything you never knew you were missing.
the walk to haechanâs apartment felt different. the night air was biting, and the cold seemed to press against your skin, but it wasnât enough to cool the heat that was bubbling in your chest. you didnât want to be here, not tonight, not after everything that had just happened. but here you were, once again, losing yourself in the warmth of his presence.
âlost your keys again?â haechan asked, his voice playful but with a hint of concern in his eyes as he stepped aside to let you into his apartment. you gave him a sheepish smile, pretending to fumble with your bag and looking down, avoiding his gaze.
âyeah, Iâm such a mess,â you murmured, but your words felt hollow, like they were slipping through your fingers as quickly as the nightâs events.
he didnât say anything more, but the slight furrow of his brow told you he was paying attention. it was a game, a little lie that you used to keep yourself near him just a little longer, but tonight, it felt like more. it felt like you were hiding something from him.
inside his apartment, the quiet enveloped you like a blanket, and for a moment, it felt like everything was still. you sat on the couch next to him, the tension between you thickening by the second. it was always easy to talk to him, but tonight, the words felt like they were stuck in your throat. and you knew whyâbecause the taste of jaehyunâs kiss was still fresh on your lips, and it made you sick to your stomach.
âwhat happened?â haechanâs voice cut through the silence, and you could see it in his eyes: that flicker of concern. he knew something was wrong, and you could feel his gaze on you, waiting for the truth.
you let out a breath, the words tumbling out before you could stop them. âjaehyun... I kissed him.â
he stiffened beside you, his body tensing. you didnât have to look at him to know the change in his expression. it was there in the way his muscles locked up, in the way he barely moved, his eyes narrowing slightly as he processed the words.
"what? you kissed him?" he repeated, his tone laced with disbelief. "good for you, I guess..."
the final sentence hit you like a punch to the gut, but you couldnât stop now. it was too late to take it back, and the confession felt like it was clawing its way out.
"it wasnât what I expected," you whispered, avoiding his gaze as your stomach twisted. "it was... bad. it didnât feel right. at all."
haechanâs hand clenched into a fist, his face hardening, but there was something more in his eyes nowâsomething you hadnât expected. jealousy. confusion. it was almost as if he wanted to say something but was holding it back. you felt the heat rise in your chest, your own guilt gnawing at you.
"waitâwhat?" haechan leaned forward, his voice suddenly sharp, though his face was tight with barely-contained emotion. "it was... bad? after all that?"
you nodded slowly, your throat tight as you continued, âyeah. it wasnât what I thought it would be. there was no passion, no spark. the taste of beer... it was all I could focus on, and I hated it. I... I just couldnât feel anything.â
the silence that followed felt thick, suffocating. you could see the storm brewing in his eyes. he wasnât angryâat least, not completelyâbut he was something else. hurt, maybe? or disappointment? you couldnât tell.
"so, thatâs it then?" his voice was quieter now, the sharpness fading into something softer, more contemplative. âyour feelings for him are... gone?â
"yeah," you admitted, finally meeting his gaze, feeling the truth weigh on your shoulders. "theyâre gone. I donât want him anymore. I donât even want to kiss him again."
the words hung in the air, and you waited for him to respond, your heart racing, unsure of what he would say. when he finally spoke, it wasnât what you expected.
âyou know,â he started, his voice light, almost teasing, âi never liked the idea of you with him. not even for a second.â
you blinked, surprised at his admission. âyou didnât?â
âno,â he said, the edge of his smile almost teasing, though there was something else behind it. âI always thought you deserved someone who wasnât... like him.â
you frowned, still processing what he was saying, but before you could respond, he continued.
âbut now i get it. i see why you would be disappointed. heâs not... him,â haechan said, his voice lowering, the underlying sadness creeping in. "i guess iâm just glad youâre realizing it now. even if it took you kissing him to see it."
a chill ran down your spine as you looked at him, unsure of what he meant. your heart tightened with a strange mix of relief and something elseâsomething more complicated that you couldnât name yet.
âyouâre not... mad?â you asked quietly.
âmad?â he repeated, laughing softly, though there was no real humor in it. âno. why would I be mad? Iâm just... relieved. you deserve better.â
âso... what now?â you asked, voice barely above a whisper.
haechan didnât answer immediately. his eyes lingered on youâsoaked in the way your makeup had smudged slightly, how your lips were still a little swollen from that kiss with jaehyun, how your dress had ridden up your thighs from the car ride. he swallowed hard, jaw clenched like he was fighting the urge to say something reckless.
then he said it anyway.
ânow i take care of you.â
your breath hitched.
he stepped closer. slowly. deliberately. the kind of approach that made your knees weak. the kind of approach that said he knew exactly what you needed before you did. his hand reached for your waist, pulling you gently toward him, until your bodies were flush against each other.
âunless you donât want that,â he murmured against your ear, his lips grazing your skin and leaving a trail of goosebumps. âyou tell me to stop, and i will. no questions, no pressure.â
you didnât say anything. you couldnât. Instead, you tilted your head and captured his lips in a kissâneedy, messy, full of everything you hadnât said for weeks.
he groaned into your mouth, hands gripping your hips, grounding you. but he didnât rush. he kissed you like he had time. like he was savoring the moment heâd waited for far too long.
âhaechanâŚâ you breathed when you finally pulled back.
he looked at you, eyes burning.
âyeah, baby?â
your cheeks flushed. âi⌠want to go further. i trust you.â
he blinked, just once, and something softened in his expression.
âare you sure?â he asked, voice lower now, rougher, but laced with concern. âi need to hear you say it.â
you nodded, fingers brushing his jaw. âiâm sure.â
he kissed you again, slower this time, like a promise. then he scooped you up effortlessly in his arms, carrying you to his bed, the same way he always carried you emotionallyâcareful, steady, never letting you fall.
he laid you down like you were precious, and then crawled over you, caging you in with his body, forehead pressed to yours.
âtell me if anything feels too much,â he whispered.
you nodded. he reached over to the nightstand, rummaging for a condom, giving you a look that made your stomach flip.
âPrepared?â you teased softly.
he smirked. âbaby, iâve been in love with you since you spilled coffee on my camera. iâve always been prepared.â
your laugh faded into a gasp as his hands slipped beneath your dress, touching you with reverence, praise pouring from his mouth like it was second nature.
âso fucking perfect,â he murmured, kissing down your neck. âevery part of you. mine to take care of. mine to love.â
his fingers teased you through your panties until you were arching, needy and aching, the room filled with the soft, wet sounds of your arousal.
âyouâre already this wet for me? fuckâbaby, you're killing me.â
you squirmed, overwhelmed by the sensation, but craving more. then you heard the foil tear, and your heart pounded louder.
the moment he entered you was slow, intense, a stretch that bordered on pain and pleasure, but he was right thereâkissing your forehead, telling you how beautiful you were, how good you felt, how proud he was of you.
âyouâre doing so good,â he groaned. âso fucking tight. you were made for me, werenât you?â
you nodded desperately, clinging to him.
he moved slow, deep, rolling his hips so you felt every inch of him. his name fell from your lips like a prayer.
one condom turned into two. then three. you couldnât stop. neither could he.
sweat clung to your skin, tangled sheets beneath you. he had you on top of him at one point, his hands on your hips as you moved, his eyes never leaving your face.
âthatâs it, baby. take what you need. fuckâride me just like that.â
another position had him behind you, one hand gripping your waist, the other slipping between your legs to make you scream his name as your body fell apart.
by the time the fourth wrapper crumpled beside the bed, you were both panting, dazed and desperate.
you rolled onto your back, breathless. âweâre out.â
you reached for your phone, already sitting up. âI can run down to the 7-elevenââ
he stopped you instantly, pressing a hand to your stomach.
âno, baby,â he said, voice firm. âiâll go. you stay here. let me take care of it.â
the way he said itâso naturally, so possessivelyâsent a wave of heat straight through you. you bit your lip, something wicked curling inside you.
âorâŚâ you said, voice dripping with mischief. âwe could just⌠try without one.â
he froze. eyes dark. jaw tight.
âdonât tempt me,â he growled.
you crawled into his lap, pressing your lips to his neck.
âwhat if i want to?â you whispered. âwhat if i want all of you?â
he exhaled sharply, head falling back. âfuck⌠youâre dangerous.â
still, he hesitatedâuntil you ground down on him and whispered, âi trust you, haechan.â
that was all it took.
he didnât say a word for a moment. just stared at you like youâd set him on fire.
then he kissed youâhard. not rushed, but full of hunger, like youâd just pulled the leash off something heâd been holding back for far too long.
you could feel him against you, throbbing and hot, even without anything between you now. your body tingled in anticipation, in fear, in want. you were bare in every wayâand he saw you, accepted you, craved you.
he guided you down onto the bed again, positioning himself between your thighs, his hands cupping your face gently.
âif i do thisâŚâ he said, voice low and trembling with restraint, âyou need to tell me if anything feels wrong. anything at all, baby.â
âit wonât,â you whispered. âi want you. just like this.â
he lined himself up, one hand steadying your hip, the other brushing hair from your face. when he pushed inâslow, careful, deepâyour whole body tensed, wrapped around him like he was the first breath after drowning.
it hurt. just a little. enough to make your lips part with a gasp. but he stopped instantly, not moving, just whispering against your cheek.
âbreathe for me, sweetheart. youâre doing so fucking good.â
you nodded, clinging to his shoulders, letting yourself relax little by little until your body opened for him.
he began to moveânot fast, but deep and fluid, his voice rasping against your ear with every thrust.
âyou feel unreal,â he groaned. âso tight. so fucking warm. shitâyou're making me lose my mind.â
your nails dug into his back. you couldnât think. could barely breathe. all you knew was himâhis scent, his voice, his body fitting against yours like you were made for this moment.
âdoes it feel good, baby?â he asked, barely holding it together.
âyes,â you moaned. âit feels so good, haechan.â
he reached between you, his fingers finding that perfect spot again, circling gently as his hips rolled deeper.
âi want you to cum for me,â he whispered, eyes flicking up to the mirror across the room.
and thatâs when you saw it tooâthe reflection.
the sight of yourself, spread out beneath him, his body covering yours, the way his hips rolled into you, slow but relentless, the way your mouth fell open in pleasure.
you locked eyes with him through the mirror.
âlook at you,â he said. âso fucking pretty. you should see what i see. you should see what you do to me.â
you whimpered, already close. the feeling of him inside you, the way he praised you, the reflection showing you everything you felt but couldnât describeâit pushed you right to the edge.
âyouâre mine,â he growled, thrusting deeper. âsay it.â
âiâm yours,â you gasped, back arching.
âagain.â
âiâm yours, haechanâfuckâiâmââ
the orgasm tore through you like a tidal wave. your whole body trembled as you clung to him, moaning his name like a confession.
he followed with a deep, broken moan, hips grinding into you as he came, his entire body tensing above yours, the sound of your names and curses filling the air as he spilled inside you, raw and unfiltered.
afterward, he collapsed next to you, pulling you into his chest, kissing your forehead with trembling lips.
âiâve never felt anything like that,â he whispered.
you couldnât answer. your body was still shaking, your mind a mess of stars and heat.
he held you close, running his fingers up and down your spine.
and for a long time, neither of you spoke.
because nothing needed to be said.
haechan stood by the door, shirtless, hair messy, pulling on his sweatpants with a crooked grin on his face.
âbe right back,â he said, grabbing his keys. âwe are out of condoms.â
your heart jumped at how casually he said it. like he already knew you werenât done. like he couldnât wait to get his hands back on you.
âdonât be long,â you said, your voice a little hoarse, a little needy.
âiâll run,â he smirked, and you believed him.
the moment the door closed behind him, your body buzzed with anticipation. you felt sore, satisfied⌠and yet completely empty without him there.
a little while later, you were curled up on his couch wearing nothing but his oversized hoodie, legs tucked under you, sipping water with your thighs still trembling from everything he just made you feel.
your mind ran wild imagining all the things heâd do when he got back.
and ohâhe did.
he came back ten minutes later, breathless and grinning, holding a bag with the corner of a box peeking out.
âmiss me?â he teased.
âshut up,â you mumbled, biting your lip as he approached you on the couch.
but he didnât give you time to banter. his mouth was on yours again, hungry and hot, hands already sliding under the hoodie like heâd been starving the whole way back.
âi couldnât stop thinking about you,â he growled into your ear, lips dragging down your neck. âevery fucking step i ran, i was thinking about how wet you were. how tight. how you said my name when you came.â
you whimpered, legs parting automatically as he knelt between them on the couch.
but this timeâhe was different. rougher. more commanding. his eyes darker.
âget up,â he whispered, pulling you to your feet.
âwhere are weâ?â
âshower,â he said. ânow.â
you didnât argue.
the water hit your skin like a shock, but his body was hotter. he pressed you up against the cool tile wall, mouth devouring yours as his hands slid down to your ass, lifting you up, making you wrap your legs around him.
âyouâre mine tonight,â he growled against your lips. âno stopping now. you started thisânow iâm gonna finish it. again and again.â
your back hit the wall as he slid into you, wet and desperate. the sounds of skin against skin, water splashing, your moans echoing in the steamâfilthy and perfect.
you lost count of how many times he made you come.
after the shower, he didnât even let you dry off.
he carried youâcarriedânaked and dripping, to the living room, laying you over the back of the couch. your knees barely held as he bent you forward, one hand gripping your hip, the other sliding between your legs.
âstill so wet?â he teased, running his fingers through your folds. âwhat did i do to you, baby?â
âyou ruined me,â you gasped, pushing back against his hand.
âgood,â he hissed. âyouâre gonna take me again. right here.â
and you did.
he fucked you from behind on the couch, your moans muffled in the cushion, your fingers clawing at the leather. he didnât let upâhe used you, praised you, told you how fucking hot you looked taking him like that.
then the kitchen.
you barely made it there.
he bent you over the counter, spreading your legs with a low groan.
âyou trust me?â he asked, voice low and rough.
âyes,â you breathed.
âgood,â he said, sliding in again, slow and deep. âbecause i'm not holding back anymore.â
he fucked you while gripping your hips, your body slamming gently into the counter with each thrust, your breath fogging the cold surface.
âso fucking perfect,â he groaned. âyou were made for me.â
then came the dining table.
you ended up on itâlegs open, arms thrown over your head, his name spilling from your lips like a mantra. he kissed every inch of your body, left love bites on your thighs, praised every moan and whimper you gave him.
you didnât even remember how many condoms you went through untilâ
âfuck,â he muttered, breathless, sweaty. âlast oneâs gone.â
the apartment was thick with heat and the smell of sex. your bodies glistened with sweat, tangled over the polished wood of the dining table. haechanâs chest was pressed to your back, his arms wrapped tightly around you as both of you struggled to catch your breath.
it wasnât until the digital clock on the microwave blinked 4:02 AM that either of you realized how much time had passed.
âshit,â you whispered with a soft laugh, still breathless.
âyeahâŚâ haechanâs voice was husky, worn out, but content. he pressed a lazy kiss to your shoulder. âweâve been at this for hours. you okay?â
you nodded, eyes half-lidded, still processing everything. your body felt sore, used in the best possible way, and your heart was floating somewhere between exhaustion and complete peace.
he helped you off the table, careful and gentle now, holding you by the waist as you stumbled a little, your legs wobbly. you both laughed quietly at that, and he gave you a soft kiss on the forehead.
âcome on,â he murmured. âletâs clean up and go to bed before the sun comes up.â
the warmth of his bed was a balm against your tender skin. after a quick rinse in the bathroom and slipping into one of his worn shirts, you curled up against him under the covers. his fingers traced light circles on your back as you lay there, your leg thrown over his, his other arm wrapped around you like you were something fragile and precious.
âyou okay?â he asked again, softer this time. there was a hint of vulnerability in his voiceâlike he was afraid this had been too much.
you nodded into his chest.
âiâm more than okay,â you whispered. âi feel⌠safe. and really, really good.â
he exhaled a little laugh of relief and kissed the top of your head. the silence that followed wasnât awkwardâit was peaceful. comforting. like your bodies had said everything your mouths didnât need to.
soon enough, your breaths synced. his hand stayed on your waist as you both drifted off to sleep.
the next morning came slowly.
soft rays of sunlight filtered in through the curtains, painting lazy golden streaks across the sheets. you blinked awake first, still pressed against his warm body. his hand was splayed over your stomach, holding you close, and his legs were tangled with yours beneath the covers.
you didnât want to move.
there was a quiet hum in your chest, that afterglow still lingering like a dream. you turned slightly to look at himâhis hair was messy, lips parted, eyelashes resting gently on his cheeks. peaceful. beautiful.
you shifted a little, and he stirred, eyes barely opening.
âmmm,â he murmured. âyouâre still here.â
âwhere else would i be?â you whispered.
he smiled, still half-asleep, and pulled you closer.
âgood,â he said, voice low and raspy. âi want you right here. just like this.â
you melted into him, your heart full, your body still tingling in places, and thought maybeâjust maybeâwaking up like this with haechan could become your favorite part of any day.
haechan made breakfast in nothing but his boxers, hair still messy from sleep, humming some old song as you sat on the counter, wearing only his oversized t-shirt and the glow heâd left on your skin.
there was laughter. soft jokes. syrup on your lips that he licked off with a grin.
and when you finally curled back into the couch, your head on his shoulder, legs tangled under a shared blanket, it didnât feel strange.
it didnât feel like youâd crossed a line.
it felt like youâd stepped into something deeper.
he looked at you then, brushing a strand of hair from your cheek, and whispered:
âyou know⌠i think weâre still us.â
you smiled, heart fluttering.
because he was right.
maybe in the end, sex doesnât ruin the friendshipâ it transforms it.
can you feel it? âą na jaemin
pairing: college student!na jaemin x fem!reader
word count: 3.2k
tags/warnings: explicit content (smut - minors do not interact), protected sex (finally đ ), soft dom!jaemin, college!au, dirty talk, alcohol consumption, size and bulge kink, praise, slight degradation, dacryphilia, petnames (baby, doll face, princess, pretty girl, good girl). let me know if I'm missing out on any more!
summary: your final year at uni has no place for commitment beyond your studies. after a gruelling week of being locked away in the library, your assignment submission calls for a treat - a pleasant surprise by the name of na jaemin.
notes: hi hiiiii! ภ^>âŠ<^ ภthis idea has been sitting in my drafts for a minute and seeing the gap between posts gave me the kick in the butt i needed to (start) finish this :) i hope you enjoy! much loveeeee á°
Your phone pings, the echoing notification spiking your anxiety levels to an all-time high.
Shaky hands attempt to collect your phone off your table, only for the device to clatter back to the surface in possibly the loudest sound ever. Cursing under your breath, you heave out a breath, eyes falling shut to observe an overdue moment to yourself.
Itâs no big deal. A guy coming over is not the end of all things. Jaemin is just some guy, no one that after exchanging a few texts, warrants the rabbiting in your chest. Your clammy hands wipe off against the your bodycon midi dress, eyes still closed. Itâs all fun, sex is meant to be fun. No overthinking, no overthinking.Â
You keep the mantra on repeat as your eyes adjust to the dim purple LED lighting in your room, finally checking the notification of the known recipient.
Jaemin: Iâm here :) Which block are you in?
Thumbs type back your response, flicking off your phone in search of the unfinished drink. Vodka burns down your throat, the unequal mixture of lemonade hard to stomach but necessary at the same time. A confidence boost, some would say, because the idea of what will happen in the four walls of your dorm is something that ventures far from your comfort zone. The burn loosens up your normally quiet personality, bringing forth the decisive and assured version of yourself you wish showed up more regularly. Casting the thought away, you polish your drink off before getting your keycard and storming out your door, the lone sounds of your heavy footsteps resonating through the carpeted corridor in your flat.Â
A few gallops down a flight of stairs take you to the main entrance of your accommodation's block door, the jitters like static beneath your skin disappearing in place of shock sinking in your stomach at the sight before you.Â
You expected to find Jaemin lingering around the courtyard, unsure where the letters of different blocks would take him. Instead heâs on the opposite side of the door, eyes flared wide at the door you almost swung in his face. Mortification should wash over you, rushed apologies falling out your mouth but you canât bring yourself to do that. Or anything really, left dumbfounded by the man before you.
When youâd first match on a dating app, you are so sure he is either 1) a catfish or 2) someone who accidentally swiped right on yours. He's too gorgeous, pretty brown eyes with a smile that glue you to your screen, drool possibly at the scene of the crime. His profile provides a glimpse into a man that feels too good to be true, his photography skills and undying love for his cats enough for you to question his authenticity. Still, you find yourself swiping yes, because really, what did you have to loss except your dignity in doing so? Only, you didnât lose your dignity, instead gaining a warm glow migrating through your body at every message exchanged. He says he's open to a long-term relationship, but most unserious men have that on their profiles too, so soon after some pleasantries, you skew the conversation towards more flirtatious undertones. You aren't looking for anything serious too, the last year of university not ideal for something so permanent and despite drowning in work, you make space for your fun too. Which explains how four days later, youâre sat at a bar with your friend, nursing a pint after submitting a shared moduleâs assignment, your idea of celebration being scrolling through each otherâs dating profile.
âThat Jaemin guy youâre talking to,â Yunjin starts, swiping through the carousel of his pictures. âWhat are you doing sexting him? Get him over now.â
Alarmed, your wide eyes scan the outdoor area for scandalized looks, relieved to find out its only the two of you occupying the yellow-painted picnic benches. âA little louder, yeah?â
âYou should fuck him,â she says, louder - with an accompany smirk. You can only shake your head, sliding over her phone. âSeriously though, whatâs the hold up?â
âIâm scared,â is what comes out your mouth first, shoulders sagging as your head sinks into your hands. âItâs been a while since IâveâŚentertained. And heâsâŚâ
âA man,â she finishes off your sentence, all attention on you. âA beautiful one, but a man nonetheless. You having him over is a privilege for him - not the other way around.â
âWell, yeah but,â you sigh, shaking your head. âI donât know. Iâll have a think about it.â
Your phone pings with Yunjin, your friend swiping familiarly through your phone, reading the received text. Her head shoots up, jaw on the floor.
âWhat?â
âHe wants to meet tonight!â she huffs out amusement, manicured hand covering her open mouth. âRead it for yourself.â
She slides over your phone to you, muscles stiff in anticipation as you find the last of your texts, a simple question about plans for the day resulting in this:
Jaemin: Congrats on your submission, hope all goes well. If youâre up for it, we should celebrate together đââď¸Â
Your eyes nearly bulge out your head, lifting slowly to share your shock with Yunjin. âWhat the fuck?â
Her fist bangs on the table, a smile for miles. âThe tricks youâre about to do on itâŚâ
âIâm not getting on top for no one,â you yelp, scanning over the message in case it disappears. âWhat the actual fuck?â
âDonât care. Iâm calling you Simone Biles because youâre going to do tricks on it,â she laughs, your eyes rolling automatically. âAnswer him!â
âAnd say what? Iâm out with you!â
Now itâs her turn to roll her eyes. âPleaseeee. Do not use me as an excuse because youâre too scared to meet the guy.â
Itâs an exaggeration really, being scared to meet Jaemin or any hook-up, but it still generates the background hum of anxiety every time the idea looms.Â
âIâm not scared,â you gulp, weighing out your options. âAnd I donât have any lectures tomorrowâŚâ
âExactly! I say, treat yourself. Weâve been hauled up in the library for a week, the least you could do is treat yourself to a good view,â she winks over the table, your head turned to shield yourself from your coy smile. âWe finish these off and I get us some shots, then you meet him. Yeah?â
âMy room isnât very clean. And I need to shower,â
âIâll come clean it while you shower.â
âWhat if itâs awkward?â
âStick on a show or movie before he comes in, so youâre not forced to talk. I donât think what you say will deter him anyways,â
âWhat if itâs not good?â
âYou uber to mine, we drink wine and laugh about it like we always do,â Yunjin reaches over the table, hands holding yours, reassurance in their steady grip. âHonestly, donât sweat it. If youâre not up for it, then you donât have to say yes. We can sit here longer and go watch Magic Mike at mine. Either way, youâll be fine.âÂ
And youâve always been fine. Whether your hookup buried you in the sheets or left you in pure shock with his five minute thrusts, it was all fun, a learning experience that works to serve you. A service youâd maybe gone too long without.
âWhat should I say?â You bite back your grin, the same one on Yunjinâs face as you lean into each other, fretting over an answer that changes the course of your nightâs actions.
Itâs a bit of a blur - how you ended up from awkwardly greeting Jaemin at your block door to this - him laid out on your bed, hand behind his head with the other on your inner thigh. Sitting on your knees, youâre looking at him with pleading eyes, wishing heâd inch his hand up just a bit more without any indication from you.
Music plays your computer nearby, slow steady beats only adding to the sluggish tick of time, Jaeminâs gaze never having left yours as he asks. âWhat was your assignment on?â
âI donât know,â is your honest answer. The topic is up in your brain somewhere, long forgotten as your eyes flutter down to his hand, watching his thumb caresses the exposed skin, hand under your dress. The mere visual makes your head spin. âItâs hard to think withâŚâ
âMy hand on your thigh?â Jaemin asks, no falter in his expression. You turn your head, growing heat settling beneath the apples of your cheeks. âDoes it bother you?â
You cast him a look out the corner of your eye, daring to give him more of your face with eyes avoiding his. âI wouldnât say bother per se...â
âOh come on, pretty,â the nickname rolls off his tongue so easy, so sweet in your ears as his grip firms against your thigh, a squeeze enough for your eyes to meet. âUse your big girl words. Do you want me to take my hand off?â
âNo.â
âGood. Weâre getting somewhere,â his simper is pure satisfaction, but twists something dark in you, your throat bobbing before he speaks again. âWhere do you want me to move it?â
That answer takes longer, mouth open to answer but nothing comes out. Not until your hand places ontop of his, shaking over his as your voice dwindles to a whisper. âHere?â
Your dress hikes upwards slightly, guiding his hand as as he cups your cunt, the weight of his hand enough to pull a quiet squeal out you.
âShit,â his eyes darken, his earlier nonchalance disappearing into the night. âYouâre soaked through, baby. Is that all for me?â
Teeth make a home in your bottom lip, hips having a mind of their own as they grind up into his hand, a relieved exhale pushing out your chest. Not what you need, but enough to loosen the coil winding in your stomach.
âAnswer me, pretty.â
âYes, Jaemin.â his name comes out in waves, your clit catching enough friction between his hand and your lace underwear to make you leak more. âItâs all for you. Been thinking of you so much.â
He adjusts himself on your bed, the outline of his cock making itself known through his straining trousers. You let your eyes linger longer than what's polite.Â
âYeah? What about?â
You mewl, his thumb finding your clit. The rub through your underwear feels good, but not enough. What you want is on the other side of your pride, swallowed whole as you utter your next words.
âYou inside me. Stretching meâŚout.â
Hot humiliation runs to wash over you, only to be replaced with a cold shudder down your back at Jaeminâs reply. âYouâd love that, wouldnât you doll? Me following through with my promises?â
The raunchy texts heâs sent over the course of three days, scenarios of you bent over, taking him as he bullies his cock in you again and again. It fills you with sickening lust, hips moving in tandem with his hand, seeking more and more.
âIâll do just that. Stretch you out because youâre my good girl,â he groans, shifting up higher against your wall of pillows. âGive me a kiss and Iâll make it all happen.â
In the lull of one song ending to another starting, your lips find his, moving together at a slow and tortured pace. It renders you helpless, moaning into his mouth as his hand remains between your trembling thighs, the brush of his teeth against your bottom lip having you keen in your throat.
You donât recognise yourself, time passing by in fragments and the loss of oxygen. Before you know it, your thighs straddle Jaemin, him doused in hues of purple as he stares up at you with waning restraint, your dress hiked up all the way to your hips, nothing left to the imagination.Â
âFuck,â he lets out, shifting with you in his lap. âAre you sureâŚabout this?â
More sure than youâve felt in a long while. âYeah, Iâm sure.â
Itâs all the confirmation he needs, intimate kisses traded in the course of discarded clothes, items clattering to the floor long forgotten as your bodies seek each other, the duvet cover cold against your naked back. Jaemin hovers over you, toned chest under the caress of your wandering hands, rolling on a condom before his tip traces your entrance, body folding into itself.
The teasing doesnât last long before heâs pushing inside you, a sting of resistance burning your lower half in mild discomfort. In spite of the nerves that have you on high alert, you manage to navigate deep breaths into the reach of him, slick dripping down the top of your thighs, down to your damp sheets.Â
His hand quickly finds your clit, working you open with circular motions, the blend of stinging joy opening up something new and addictive, the feeling of him going further and further in you emptying all anxious thoughts that may have lingered.
âOh?â Jaemin canât hide his delight as his hand falls over the slight bulge in your stomach, quivering under the weight he puts on it. âCan you feel it, princess? How deep I am?â
âS-so deep. Want-â
âWanna take more?â he asks, temptation in the curve of his lips.
A coy nod is all you give, watching through a hazy lens as Jaemin moves your legs to his shoulders, the angle pushing a wheezed gasp for air out your chest.Â
Youâre so full, fuller than youâve experienced before, the low hang on your jaw egging the cocky smirk on Jaeminâs face above you. Your walls mould to the shape of him, stressed by his size but welcoming him moments later, a steady motion building as he starts to rut his hips against you.
Submerged in bliss, your brain struggles to form words, reduced to watching as Jaeminâs gold cross necklace swings back and forth between the dip of his collarbones, his breaths laboured and moans plentiful.
âCanât speak, doll face? Feel too good?â His tone is all mockery, but youâre buying into it, nodding with whines that canât contain themselves. âMe too, pretty. Squeezing me so good, fuck.â
The aged bedframe creaks under the weight of his thrusts, cunt sounding off all your walls at the relentless pounding he gives you, a familiar heat brewing in your belly.Â
âI donât know whatâs better: your moans or the fact that this bedâs about to break,â he has the audacity to laugh in your face, lips chasing yours in a searing kiss you give half-heartedly, too far gone to commit. âCanât imagine what your neighbours are thinking now.â
You mewl into his mouth, sharing short breaths as you tighten at the thought, back bowing off the bed. He must know how much you like the thought, smiling against your lips in an action that twists something so deep in you, your nails fly to his back in refuge.
âThatâs it. Iâve got you, baby. Gonna take good care of you - promise.â is something he mumbles between the two of you, ears ringing as the pleasure blooms in all the cells of your body.Â
âNever felt-â your voice scratches out, brain a puddle in your head. âSo good.â
âMe neither, baby,â Jaemin heaves, the dare of his eyes staring into yours pressing your lips together in a muffled whine, your cunt clamping down on him once again. âWanna fuck you all day, every day.â
The thought floats between the two of you, mixed in with guttural groans and skin-to-skin contact, a possibility cast aside momentarily at the draw of your eyebrows, a request from your lips having Jaemin pull out, his grip bruising against your hips as you give him your back, his cock easing back into you from behind with less burn, but all the more pleasure. Your eyes roll to the back of your head before your brain can prepare for anything, arms buckling to hold yourself upright as he fills you again, stretching you out with a tamed simmer, travelling from your curled toes to your gaping mouth that whispers his praises.Â
The feel of each other pours moans out your mouths, room filling with the sound of your slick as Jaemin lets himself go, rutting into you with purpose. He knocks every spot that makes you unsteady, the collapse of your body inevitable as he moves away from messy grinds to powerful thrusts. Desperate hands search for security in the form of pillows your face is buried in, nails pulling at their covers as your body shakes under Jaeminâs touch, a lone fingertip traveling down from your nape down to your hips, hands securing themselves there to bully his cock into you further.Â
 âYou like when I pound you from behind, huh? Tell you what you do to me,â Jaemin prompts, a string of yeses pulled out from you. âI know you do, angel.â
You turn your head to the side, squirming in his hold. âI-I canât.â
âYou can. And you will,â he replies, so assured that you have no choice but to believe him. âLook at you taking all of me. Come on, pretty thing - touch your clit for me.âÂ
Bewitched, your arm stretches out beneath you, fingers collecting the mess between your thighs before you rub yourself with the little strength you have left, hips stuttering at the sheer gravity of everything going on. Your lungs are hard pressed for oxygen, the nudge of Jaeminâs cock hitting corners that make your body tick like a timebomb, cunt working itself open to accept more and more, the drag of him filling you beyond compare.
Youâre close, frustration co-existing with pleasure at the thought of this being over so soon, body overwhelmed, stomach in tatters as he re-arranges it for you, spilling drool and drawn out moans from you. Jaemin presses against your back, hot like a brand with lips hovering over the shell of your ear, hand on the bulge in your stomach.
âWhat, princess?â He coos from above you, tender yet knowing. âIs that where I am?â
You choke back a sob, unraveling with the slow tears trailing down your cheeks. Pressure engulfs you, body no longer yours as you take everything Jaemin gives you, the rhythm of his thrusts and the drag of his cock too much to bear.
You practically hear the smile in his voice when he says, âso pretty when you cry, doll face.â
Close like this, his tongue runs where your tears rolled off, from your chin up to your lashes, the hum against your back the thing that undoes it all. You shatter to pieces, the bunched-feathers of your pillows absorbing your cries of ecstasy as your body convulses.Â
A few shallow thrusts are all Jaemin gives before he stills in you, filing the condom with a deep groan that gets him a weak clench. Swimming in your blurred thoughts, your scorching skin receives a single kiss between your shoulders, Jaeminâs voice muffled in the distortion of your hearing.
âDid so good, princess. So perfect for me."
Itâs praise that sticks with you, along with the other events of the night. A fond memory shared between the two of you as your relationships morphs from late night calls to something more permanent, his smile like sunshine as he watches you cross the gymnasium stage, cap and gown on as you leave behind good memories in search for more.Â
likes, reblogs, comments/feedback is always appreciated. ę(ËľË á ËËľ) thank you for reading! á°
âNO ONE BUT YOUâ
pair: childhood bff! liu yangyang x secretly in love bff! reader | genre: rom-com | words: 38k+
synopsis -> after his girlfriend left him for his bestfriend, liu yangyangâs favorite coping mechanism is running to you for emotional support. every damn time he bumped into them on campus, he wore that perfect mask, pretending he was completely fine. only to end the night crying on your shoulder, falling apart. and every single damn time â you were there. handing him tissues, listening to the same rants on repeat, cracking sarcastic jokes until he laughed through his tearsâŚall while pretending your own heart wasnât breaking. why couldnât he see that the person who always understood him best had been here all along?
warnings -> guaranteeing the cutest best friends to lover trope in the loverboy series (at least i think it is!!), pet name unlocked: teddy, yangyang is so fucking oblivious it hurts, reader please get up!, jealousy, insecurities, possessiveness, +18, crude humor, language, parties, drinking, more than one party game, masturbation (m), fingering, blowjob, face riding, yangyang is a munchhh and loves/gets off eating pussy, he also has a big dick! sexual activities while intoxicated, unprotected sex in the hot tub!, and on the couch! he cums inside oops, lots of banter during sex, mentions of: fuck-buddy, audio porn.
an -> the first of the wayv loverboy is sweetly yours! i decided to do this spin off after listening to taylor swiftâs, you belong with me hehe. this takes place right after renjunâs story or i hate fruits. you do not need to read the loverboy series (dream ver) to understand this story. what you need to know will be explained here. but if you want the full details, i do recommend reading renjunâs story! have fun reading! please let me know what you think!! - with love, c.
𧸠SEPTEMBER 11 - FRIDAY - MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT TEDDY BEAR.
it was nearly midnight when the door to your apartment door swung right open, making you jump so hard your heart practically tried to escape your chest. for one terrifying second, you imagined every possible crime scene headline involving you, a slippery bathroom floor and a damp towel as your only defense.
âitâs just not fair!â
the shout echoed in your living room before you even spotted him. you could recognize that voice even in your sleep. and there he was â liu yangyang, your childhood best friend, the boy youâve been harboring secret feelings for the last five years, storming in with wild eyes and a kind of frustration that clung to him like static, restless and loud.
you clutched your towel tighter around your body, still dripping wet from the shower, âdude! i know i gave you my code but that doesnât mean you can just walk in here with no warning!â
yangyangâs eyes flicked over to you, unimpressed. he didnât even flinch at your half-naked state â too consumed in his own misery to care. he just groaned and collapsed dramatically onto your couch, burying his face into a throw pillow like heâd been waiting all day for this exact moment, âput on some clothes so i can die in your arms in peace, please,â he mumbled, his voice muffled, pout obvious even without seeing his face.
you exhaled, long and patient, already used to this. already too soft on him for your own good, âfine. but just so you know, iâm out of ice cream.â
âughhhh, i hate my lifeee,â he whined, dragging the pillow closer like it could protect him from reality. you shook your head and padded toward your bedroom, trailing little wet footprints behind you.
this was his routine now â crashing into your space, sometimes drunk, sometimes stone sober, always wearing that perfect mask on the outside until it shattered behind your door. heâd been like this ever since the two of you got back from your internship in germany and found out that his best friend, renjun, and his girlfriend, now ex-girlfriend, love, had somehow fell in love with each other in the strangest, most heartbreaking way. a box dropping on her head. temporary amnesia. the illness between memories blurred until she didnât know who was who. by the time the fog cleared, it was already too late, sheâd fallen in love with the wrong boy (or the right one) depending on whose story you hear. yangyang had been stuck in the middle of that impossible truth ever since. he played the part so well, too â polite smiles, easy words about being âhappy for themâ when people asked. but the cracks always showed when the day ended, when he needed someone who wouldnât call his bluff. so he came here. to you. and through it all â the late night breakdowns, the way he cycled through the same rants until even his tears felt rehearsed, the quiet collapses on your couch â you never once left his side. not when his voice broke. not when his walls crumbled. not even when your own heart kept breaking quietly in the background, knowing heâd never look at you the way he looked at her.
you pulled on a hoodie and your pajama shorts before returning to the living room. yangyang was still sprawled out into the cushions like he owned them, his head tipped back against the armrest, staring at your ceiling like it might offer him a divine answer. you grabbed the remote, flipped on the t.v. for background noise and nudged his leg with your knee, âscoot over,â you ordered.
he grumbled something incoherent but still obeyed, pulling his legs up and folding into a lazy criss-cross on your couch. you dropped beside him, close enough that your knees brushed, mirroring the way he sat. it had always been like this between you two â automatic, instinctive, like your bodies remembered how to fit together in any space.
from this close, you caught the faint tang of alcohol on his breath. your eyes narrowed immediately, âyou went to the dream party, didnât you?â
yangyang shifted uncomfortably, gaze darting anywhere but you. he tugged at a loose thread on the pillow, shoulders stiff, clearly guilty, âuhhhâŚâ
you tilted your head, raising a brow, ânow, why the hell would you do that?â
he let out a long, shaky sigh, finally dragging his eyes back to yours. the vulnerability there made your chest ache, âi-i donât know! i-i just wanted to see her.â
the words hung heavy in the air. you bit the inside of your cheek, bracing yourself. âand?â you prompted, voice harsher than you meant it to be.
yangyang leaned back, hands fidgeting in his lap, like if he didnât start talking he might actually combust, âand you would not believe what happenedââ he said, launching into the story of what went down at the party.
*flashback to earlier today at the dream fraternity*
the music thumped in his chest, laughter spilling in the air, a red solo cup in his hand as he listened to whatever xiaojun and hendery was talking about, plastering on the same easy grin heâd worn all week, the one that said iâm fine. iâm happy. inside, though, every second felt like his ribs were caving in.
he saw them way before they saw him. their matching color palettes werenât hard to miss â renjun and love wrapped up in pink. side by side. brushing like magnets, smiles soft and too tender for anyone else to miss. he swallowed down the lump in his throat and took another sip, pretending the burn was enough to numb it.
when renjun finally spotted him and made his way over, yangyang braced himself, smile sharpening onto something lopsided, practiced, âdude,â he said, gaze flicking over, âthe pink?â
renjun blinked, caught off guard. âwhat?â
yangyang tilted his head, grin widening just enough to look genuine and pointed at his best friendâs new hair, âit suits you. makes you look⌠weirdly happy.â
renjunâs shoulders relaxed a little, mouth tugging into a shy smile. âyeah, well. she picked it.â
âof course she did,â yangyang let out a soft laugh. amused. or at least, pretending to be.
a cautious silence threaded between them like they were both balancing glass in their hands. then renjunâs voice dropped quieter, âcan we talk?âyangyang didnât even sigh. he just nodded and stepped off to the side with him.
renjun began, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck, eyes darting everywhere but yangyangâs, âi shouldâve told you sooner. but it all happened so fast and next thing i knowââ
âyou love her,â yangyang said simply. his tone was light, steady, betraying nothing. but inside, it was a knife twisting right in his chest. âi know. i saw it all that night we took her to the hospital.â
renjunâs throat bobbed, âyeah.â
âi already forgave you,â yangyang went on, managing a small, resigned smile, âi just needed a couple days to process and the let the sting wear off. besides, you were right. i wasnât there. i shouldâve seen it coming, really. it just makes sense that the two people i love most would fall in love with each other,â he concludes. not entirely sure if he was trying to convince the boy in front of him or himself.
renjun swallowed hard, âit wasnât supposed to happen like that.â
âyeah,â yangyang said softly, âbut it did. and maybe it was supposed to happen exactly like this.â there was a pause, full of memory, affection, and things left unsaid. yangyang took a sip from his cup, âanyway. the internship called me. i got the job.â
renjunâs eyes widened. âyouâre kiddingâ?â
yangyang grinned, this time genuinely. ânope. full-time offer. i leave right after graduation next yearâŚso really,â he went on, nudging renjunâs shoulder lightly, âit worked out for everyone. i got my future, and you got her. she was always yours, anyway. i was just keeping her heart warm till you were ready.â
âwhat do you mean?,â renjun asks, curious.
yangyang forced out a grin, pretending every word he uttered wasn't crushing his own heart, âyouâll have to ask her about it.â
renjunâs throat went tight. âyangâŚâ
âdonât get sappy on me now, loverboy,â he warned, letting out a laugh that covered the crack in his chest. he didnât want his pity. âgo. be gross together. and tell her i said thanks for finally getting you to change your hair. iâve been begging for color since sophomore year.â
renjun snorted, âthanks.â then, after a beat, quieter, sincere, âweâre still best friends, right?â
yangyang nodded once, smile beaming, even though his brain was still screaming a million curse words. âas long as you donât mess this up.â yangyang says like some sort of wise man. literally, fuck him and his own savior complex. he should be screaming. he should be trashing this place. instead, heâs sporting a beaming smile all for the sake of other peopleâs happiness.
renjun met his eyes, âi wonât,â he promised. âiâd rather die.â
yangyang let the silence stretch, just long enough for the promise to settle between them. then he nodded once, smile still beaming like it didnât cost him anything at all. he gave renjun one last look before clapping a hand to his back and heading into the house. the music swallowed him up again, laughter bubbling all around him. the partyâs pulse thrummed against his ribs as he moved through the crowd. then he felt the weight of eyes on him. his own gaze flicked up and there she was â love. his ex-girlfriend. renjunâs girl now. for a second, the noise around them dimmed. she didnât look away, didnât flinch. just held his gaze across the room, her expression caught between guilt and gentleness, the kind that held both apology and acceptance. yangyangâs chest twisted but he forced his mouth into a small smile. quiet. understanding. and she returned it â a tiny curve of her lips, a silent acknowledgement of everything they had been and everything they no longer were.
*end of flashback*
yangyangâs voice trailed off, the party fading from his memory as reality came crashing back into your small living room. the background noise of your t.v. hummed low, mixing with the sound of his uneven breathing. he looked smaller than usual, hunched forward like the weight of his words was still pressing on him.
âyou told him you forgive him?â you asked, incredulous, turning to face him fully, âbutâŚ.you donât.â you point out the obvious.
yangyang groaned, dragging both hands down his face before flopping back dramatically against the couch cushions, "i didnât know what else to say!,â his voice cracked somewhere between exasperation and despair, âwhat? am i supposed to keep playing the villain and not let them be happy!?â
you stared at him, heart aching and pressed your lips into a thin line, âyouâre not the villain, yang.â he tilted his head toward you, eyes glassy and vulnerable in a way he only ever let you see, ââyou donât have to forgive them if youâre not ready,â you added softly.
yangyang sniffled, reaching blindly for a tissue on your coffee table, âi hate this,â he muttered, voice muffled into the tissue as he wiped his nose, âi hate that i donât even hate them. likeâŚisnât that what iâm supposed to do? get angry? yell? throw a drink in someoneâs face?â
âyou?â you snorted, âplease. youâd apologize to the person you threw it at for wasting their drink.â
that earned you the tiniest huff of laughter, just enough to soften the tight line of his mouth. you leaned your head against the back of the couch, watching him. he sat criss-cross again, knee brushing yours, hair sticking up from where heâd been raking his hands through it. his chest still rose and fell unevenly, but at least he was breathing easier now.
âyouâre allowed to be hurt, you know. youâre allowed to let the world know how you truly feel.â you said quietly.
yangyang stuffed another tissue into his fist like he could bury all his pain in paper instead. âyeah, well,â he mumbled, forcing his voice into something lighter, âlucky for me, i donât need the world. iâve got you. free therapist, 24/7, no copay.â
you rolled your eyes, even as warmth bloomed unsteadily in your chest, âdonât flatter yourself. youâre paying me in pizza next time.â
âdeal,â he whispered, smiling weakly. then he let out a long, dramatic sigh, suddenly shifting and tossing the crumpled tissue onto your coffee table. before you could ask what he was doing, his arms reached out and hooked around you, tugging you straight into his chest.
âcome here,â he murmured, already nuzzling his chin on top of your head like it was second nature.
you groaned, squirming in protest, âyang, no! you reek of alcohol and i literally just showered!â
âdonât care,â he mumbled stubbornly, holding on tighter, âi need my emotional support teddy bear.â
you shoved lightly at his chest, wrinkling your nose, âyouâre gross. you smell like cheap beer and regret.â
he tilted his head down to grin at you, eyes glinting, âyou love it.â
âi absolutely do not!,â you shot back, though your voice wavered with a laugh.
âyes, you do,â he said, sing-song, tightening his arms until you gave up fighting, âyouâre addicted to me. admit it.â
âaddicted? please.â you rolled your eyes, but you didnât try to move away again, âyouâre lucky iâm too tired to throw you off my couch right now.â
yangyang chuckled, the sound rumbling through his chest against your cheek, âso basicallyâŚyou like me enough to suffer through the smell. thatâs real love, right there.â
you smacked his arm without much force, âdonât push it.â but your body betrayed you anyway. relaxing. softening. your head finding its place against his chest like it belonged there. his hand absently traced circles against your back, slow and soothing, the kind of touch that wasnât meant to mean anything but still felt like everything.
the t.v. murmured on in the background, the glow painting soft shadows across the room as the two of you sank deeper into the couch. yangyangâs heartbeat was too steady, too familiar, it lulled you, each breath syncing with his. the silence between you wasnât empty. it was lived in â a silence that had grown up with the two of you, evolving from playground whispers to late-night facetimes, from library study sessions to these countless evenings on your couch. it wasnât awkward, never had been. it was a blanket youâd both wrapped yourselves in a thousand times before, stitched together with years of knowing each otherâs rhythms, moods and unspoken words. and just when you thought heâd drifted off, his voice came low and quiet, threaded with a kind of sincerity he rarely let anyone hear â
âthanks for always listening to me, teddy.â
the nickname hit like it always did â tugging at the memory of a third grade classroom where it all began. to your favorite teddy bear lying on the floor, head ripped clean off from a game that got too rowdy, to your little hands clutching the broken stuffed toy, tears blurring your vision and yangyangâs panicked face staring at you like heâd ruined the world, crying with you. the very next day, he showed up to class with a brand new teddy bear in his arms â softer, cuddlier, shinier. heâd shoved it into your chest, muttering rushed apologies and awkward promise after awkward promise that heâd never hurt you again. and you, still sniffling, had promised him something too â that youâd be his best friend for as long as that teddy bear stayed with you. and it had. it still did. the years had worn it down, the fur dulled, one ear a little loose but it sat tucked safely in your bedroom. proof of a promise that hadnât been broken.
you closed your eyes, swallowing the lump in your throat, breathing him in despite the faint edge of alcohol clinging to him. this time, you didnât protest, didnât tease him, didnât make a joke to deflect the way your chest ached. you just let the words settle over you, warm and heavy. and like so many nights before, you drifted into sleep tangled up on the couch together. two best friends, bound by years and promises, still holding onto each other like that was enough.
𧸠SEPTEMBER 15 - TUESDAY - PAINTING II.
out of every day of the week. yangyang has grown to hate tuesdays the most. he didnât even understand why he needed this class â he was set after graduation, internship locked in, his future lined up in neat little rows. but a degree was a degree and this class was just another box to check off. â painting ii. shouldâve been a class he enjoyed. he loved making things, experimenting with brushes and color, letting his hands move faster than his thoughts. now it just felt suffocating because, of course, renjun and love were in this class too. they came in together. side by side. her arm brushing his. renjun leaning close to whisper something that made her laugh effortlessly. yangyangâs jaw tightened but by the time they were in his line of vision, the mask was already back on. that same carefully constructed, almost-too-bright-iâm-fine smile.
âhey,â renjun greeted, his voice careful, still carrying the weight of fridayâs conversation.
yangyang just grinned, like it was nothing, âwhatâs up?â â easy. effortless. like he hadnât spend the entire weekend sprawled on your couch with romcoms on autoplay.
love gave him a small nod, polite, almostâŚgrateful. like she knew he was sparing them. like she was silently thanking him for playing along.
but where yangyangâs mask held steady, yours did not â from your seat next to him, you glared daggers so sharp they couldâve cut through steel. your sketchbook was open, pencil poised, but your entire focus was pinned on the couple like you were trying to set them on fire with sheer willpower. yangyang nudged your knee under the shared easel, subtle but firm, a small warning, âstop it,â he whispered, voice low enough that only you could hear. your eyes didnât move, âthey donât deserve your smile.â
he forced a quiet laugh, leaning back on his stool, the sound too casual, âand what? youâre gonna fight them with paintbrushes in the middle of class?â
âif i have to,â you muttered, jaw tight. he couldnât help it â despite everything, a smirk tugged at his lips. that was the thing about you. he could be unraveling and somehow, you still made him laugh.
âplay nice,â he murmured, shaking his head. you rolled your eyes, finally dragging your gaze back to the page.
right then, professor yuta strode to the front of the studio, clapping his hands once to get everyoneâs attention. his black hair was tied back loosely, smudges of paint already dotting his arms like heâd been working before class. âalright, everyone,â professor yuta began, his smile sharp, âtoday, youâre working in groups of four. youâll be sketching a concept for the universityâs cafe logo â nothing final, just ideas. think simple, think clear and most importantlyâ,â his gaze swept the room, landing on a few nervous students, â-think something i wonât throw in the trash immediately.â a wave of laughter and a few groans echoed throughout the room along with chairs scraping and stools shifting.
you and yangyang didnât even need to look at each other. it was automatic â you were a package deal. he angled himself towards you, already doodling a goofy smiley face in the corner like he owned the space.
âguess itâs us,â he said, teasing.
âlike it was ever going to be anyone else,â you shot back, leaning over to draw another smiley beside his. he snorted softly, the tension in his shoulders easing for the first time that morning. but before he could completely fall into it, shadows fell across your table.
âhey guys,â a familiar voice said. you froze mid-scribble. renjun stood there, love right beside him, her hand brushing his sleeve like it always seemed to do these days. both of them were looking at you and yangyang with polite expressions as if this made perfect sense, as if nothing happened and everything was completely like the way it was before.
âlooks like everyone else is already grouped up,â renjun explained, careful, almost apologetic, âmind if we join?â
yangyangâs smile flickered for half a second, the mask threatening to slip, but he caught it just in time. by the time he looked up, it was firmly in place again, âsure,â he said lightly, with a shrug that cost him more than heâd admit. you, however, werenât nearly as composed. your pencil pressed hard enough against the page it nearly snapped. you forced your lips into a thin line, offering a curt nod that was more grit than grace.
renjun slid into the seat across from yangyang, love sat beside him, right across from you, her gaze flickering to yangyang for a fleeting second, soft and unreadable, before she looked away. yangyang leaned back in his chair, drumming his pen against his notebook like it was just another tuesday. but you knew better.
renjun set his sketchpad down, pencil already moving with the quiet focus he always had. beside him, love leaned over to peek at his lines, her laugh spilling soft and easy when he drew a messy curve. she nudged his elbow, teasing and he caught her wrist in that causal, familiar way. the kind that made yangyangâs stomach twist even if his smile didnât falter. you had gone still, brush in hand, staring at the blank paper in front of you. yangyang nudged you lightly with his knee again, a silent reminder. play nice. you forced yourself to dip into the paint, sketching out rough shapes.
âso,â love said, tone bright, âmaybe something with a coffee cup? simple lines, but kind of cozy?â
renjun nodded immediately, âyeah, and maybe we add steam that curls into letters â N C T U. what do you guys think?â
yangyang tapped his pencil against his page, pretending to consider it, ânot bad,â he said lightly, âcozy but still sharp. professor yuta might actually not throw it away.â
renjun laughed under his breath, loveâs shoulder brushing his as she leaned closer. the sound of it â soft, unguarded, theirs â filled the small silence that fell over your half of the table. you clenched your jaw. picked up your brush. painted one hard, deliberate line that nearly split the page. and before you could stop yourself, the words slipped outâ
âgod, could you two justâŚnot? we get it. youâre in love. rub it in, why donât you.â
the brush clattered a little too loudly against the jar of water when you dropped it. silence. renjun froze, pencil hovering midair, his shoulders going rigid. his eyes darted up to you, almost guilty, then quickly away, jaw tightening like he didnât trust himself to respond. love blinked, caught between shock and guilt, her hand pausing on the page as though sheâd forgotten what she was supposed to be doing.
the air went brittle â and then yangyang burst out an awkward laugh, too quick, too loud, too bright. it cracked through the silence like a sparkle burning too hot. âHAHAHAââ he drawled, arm swinging up and draping across your shoulder, pulling you into the curve of his space like it was all just a joke, âsheâs kidding guys. donât mind her. sarcasmâs practically her love language.â his grin was wide, practiced. the kind of grin that screamed easygoing, no harm done, letâs move on. but the weight of his arm pressed heavier than usual and when he turned his head to look at you, the smile didnât reach his eyes. that pointed look said it all. and you understood what he was trying to say without even saying anything at all â cut it out. stop. please.
you let out a cough, âyeah, kidding,â you murmured, forcing out a fake chuckle. the word tasted bitter but you swallowed it down anyway, for his sake.
the next forty minutes dragged on like hours. renjun kept his comments short, never quite meeting your eyes. love spoke in measured bursts, careful and polite, her laughter gone. you stuck to clipped answers and yangyangâŚ.yangyang was everywhere. he cracked dumb jokes, nudged renjun into laughing once or twice, redirected loveâs feedback to you with a soft, âhear that? she likes your idea.â every time the tension threatened to snap, he was already there, smiling over the cracks.
by the time professor yuta strolled past to glance at your groupâs progress, it looked decent enough â a cozy coffee cup, steam curling into the letters NCTU, framed with warm tones and textured brushstrokes. he hummed approvingly, lingering for a second, âlooks good, you four work well together.â
your laugh almost bubbled up at the irony but yangyang beat you to it, âthanks professor,â he said smoothly. perfect smile, perfect tone, like nothing was wrong.
finally, professor yuta clapped his hands together at the front of the room, âtimeâs up, brushes down. weâll review the final drafts next class.â the usual post-class chatter buzzed low around the studio. you shoved your brushes into the case a little too hard, movements sharp, clipped. beside you, yangyang was quieter than usual, his tiredness bleeding through. you caught renjun and love laughing softly at something as they packed up. the sound was small, barely there but it crawled under your skin like barbed wire. you could practically feel your blood boil. yangyang noticed them. he always did. and this time, instead of nudging your knee or shooting you that warning look, he just stood â bag slung over his shoulder, eyes forward. he didnât say goodbye. he just jerked his chin toward the door, a silent letâs go, and slipped out the classroom. you followed, trying to keep up with his pace. but the moment you were far away enough from the art room, he snapped.
âwhy did you have to act like that?!â yangyangâs voice was sharp, he whirled on you, brows knit tight, anger crackling off him like static, âyou couldnât just let it go for once?!â
you blinked at him, incredulous, heat rushing to your cheeks, âlet it go? yang, are you serious right now?â your own voice shot back, louder than you meant, ââiâm sick of them acting like they can just waltz back into your life like nothing happened. like they didnâtââ you stopped, chest heaving, words catching, ââlike they didn't rip your heart out!â
his jaw clenched, âyou think i donât know that?â
âthen why are you letting them sit across from you like itâs fine?!,â you threw your hands up, protective instinct spilling over into rage, âyouâre the one whoâs been breaking on my couch for days, yang! and iâm supposed to justâŚsit there and watch you smile at them like they deserve it?â
âbecause its not about you!â he snapped back, louder this time. heads turned from students lingering down the hall, the echo of his voice bouncing off the walls. his own voice cracked on the edges, fraying, âitâs my mess. my pain. not yours to fight for!â
the words hit harder than you expected, cutting deeper than you wanted to admit. you were a package deal. you take one, you take the other. you hurt one, you hurt the other. apparentlyâŚnot â you stood there in the hallway, silence ringing in your ears, chest tight, fists curled at your sides. yangyang dragged a hand through his hair, pacing two steps away like he needed the space to breathe. his shoulders heaved, every inch of him vibrating with that mix of rage and hurt he usually hid under jokes and easy smiles.
and now, he wasnât just upset with them. he was upset with you.
ânot mine to fight for?â you repeated, your voice low now, shaking with the effort of holding yourself together, âdonât you get it? every time youâre hurting, iâm hurting, too,â you stopped, chest heaving, like the words themselves were choking you.
yangyangâs laugh was hollow, ugly, a sound that wasnât really a laugh at all. âyou donât get it. i donât need a bodyguard, okay!? i donât need you storming in like youâre gonna save me. i just needââ he cut himself off, teeth gritted, fists clenching tight, âi just need you to let me handle it.â
your throat burned, âhandle it?! yang, all you do is pretend. pretend youâre fine, pretend youâre over it, pretend their smiles donât cut you in half. you call that handling it?â
he turned on you, eyes blazing, âbecause if i stop pretending, iâll fall apart! and i canâtââ his voice cracked, raw and sharp, before he swallowed it down, "i can't be that pathetic.â
the words slammed into you, heavy and unyielding. you wanted to reach for him. to tell him he wasnât pathetic. to remind him youâd hold every broken piece if he let you â but he was already pulling back, shaking his head like your closeness was the last thing he could stand.
âjustâŚstop.â his voice was quieter now, but it cut all the same, âstop fighting battles that arenât yours. stop making it harder.â
you stood there, nails biting into your palms, your heart a mess of fury and ache. for a second, you thought about pushing further, about forcing him to see that you werenât just some bystander in his wreckage. but the way he looked at you â pleading, furious, exhausted â froze you in place. so instead, you let out a bitter laugh, âfine.â the word cracked like glass. âif thatâs what you want, then handle it. alone.â
his jaw flexed like he wanted to take it back, like something inside him was tearing. but he didnât. he just nodded once, curt and turned on his heel. the two of you walked in opposite directions down the hall, footsteps echoing, backs stiff. neither of you looked back. and for the first time since the third grade, yangyang has consciously broken his promise.
𧸠SEPTEMBER 18 - FRIDAY - MR. BEAR
three days. it had been three days since that fight in the hallway. three days since the last time yangyang has spoken to you. three days of passing each other on campus like strangers, of him veering left when you went right, of group chats where his replies skipped right over you like you werenât even there.
thirteen years of friendship, and never â never â had it gone this long. youâd shared lunch tables, secrets, and late-night video calls. youâd cheered each other through every minor victory, every heartbreak. youâd even applied to the same internship, bending and shifting your choices to make sure you were in each otherâs orbit. there was no version of your life in which he wasnât there. no version where the silence between you stretched out like this. and yet here you were, trapped in a version you hadnât chosen. like heâd built a wall and left you on the other side.
your apartment felt smaller than ever. you sat cross-legged on your bed, your textbooks splayed open but ignored. no matter how many times you read the same line, your brain refuses to absorb it. all you could think about was yangyang.
the brown, worn-down teddy bear sat propped up against your pillow, itâs button eyes staring. you reached for it, clutching it to your chest, your frustration boiling over âcan you believe him, mr. bear?â your voice cracked through the silence, sharp and small all at once. you jabbed a finger at the bearâs stitched face, âheâs actually mad at me? out of all people?!â you pulled the bear back to glare at its faded smile, your voice rising, âiâm the one whoâs been there through everything. iâm the one who picked him up when he couldnât even get out of bed. iâm the one who stayed when she left! and heâs mad at me?â the bearâs head lolled to the side, its seams sagging, like it was tired of listening to all of your secrets. you laughed bitterly, shaking your head, âitâs likeâwhat? heâd rather i sit there quietly while he smiles through the pain? am i supposed to just watch that?!â your throat burned, your eyes stinging. you hugged the bear close, pressing your face into its worn fur, your words muffled against it. âhe says itâs not my fight,â you whispered, raw and hoarse, âbut if i donât fight for him, then who will?â
the silence stretched, heavy and unyielding. the old bear didnât answer. it never did. you glared at itâs worn down eyes, âyouâve seen everything, you know? every meltdown, every dumb heartbreak, every midnight pizza run. and now the silent treatment! heâs soâUGH!â
you didnât hear the door creak. didnât notice the smell of pepperoni hit the air, âwow,â came a voice youâd know from anywhere, dripping with mock astonishment, âthree days of silence and youâve officially lost it. yelling at mr. bear? should i be worried?â
your head snapped up. yangyang stood in your bedroomâs doorway, pizza box balanced on one hand, his expression somewhere between smug and fond. your heart lurched so hard you almost dropped the bear, âwhat the hell are you doing here?â
he stepped inside your bedroom like he owned the place. âfulfilling my promise, i owe you pizza remember,â he waved the box, âfigured three days was long enough for you to stop being mad.â
you sat up straighter, arms crossing tight over your chest, heat prickling your cheeks, âi wasnât talking to mr. bear.â
he smirked, setting the box down on your desk, âyeah, okay, teddyâŚnext thing i know youâll be asking it for relationship advice.â
âdonât call me that.â you muttered, your pout deepening even as your chest pinched the way it always did when he said it. yangyang just grinned wider, like heâd been waiting to use it again. he dragged your desk chair over, spun it around, and straddled it backward â his usual move when he wanted to make himself comfortable. his eyes flicked from the bear to you, amusement softening into something quieter.
âlook,â he started, voice lower now, âi know i was an ass. i shouldnât have snapped at you in the hall. i justââ he ran a hand through his hair, messing it up even more, ââi donât want them to know iâm falling apartâŚitâsâŚsad and pathetic. not everyone has to see that side of me.â
your heart thudded painfully against your ribs at the honesty in his tone. âyouâre not pathetic,â you whispered, âbut youâre human, yangâŚnot a fucking robot. so stop acting like one.â
yangyang tilted his head, that crooked smile tugging at the corner of his lips upon hearing his nickname, âsoâŚtruce? or do i need to get mr. bearâs approval too?â
you rolled your eyes, lips pursed in a stubborn line, âthree days of silence and you just show up with pizza like nothing happened? like that fixes everything?â
yangyang raised his brows, completely unfazed, he rolled the chair closer until your knees brushed, âi meanâŚyeah? pizza fixes most things. donât act like it hasnât worked the last fifty times weâve fought.â
âthat was different,â you huffed, turning your face away, nose wrinkled, âthis was the worst fight weâve ever had. you were an asshole.â
he smirked, tapping his fingers against your chair, âi was. and youâre still sulking about it like a five year old so i guess weâre even.â
you whipped your head back toward him, glaring, âi am not sulking.â
âoh, no?â he leaned forward, tapping a finger against your pout, then gestured at mr. bear, âso you werenât just yelling at a stuffed toy when i walked in?â
your cheeks heat instantly, but you cross your arms tighter, chin jutting out, âthatâs different. he understands me better than you do right now.â
that got him â yangyang laughed, loud and unrestrained, tipping his head back until the chair wobbled dangerously, âwow. replaced by a bear i bought. didnât see that one coming.â
you refused to smile, even though the corners of your mouth betrayed you by twitching, âyou donât get to joke your way out of this.â
he leaned closer, grin softening but still teasing, âyouâre pouting so hard right now iâm shocked your face isnât stuck like that...câmon teddy, just admit you missed me.â
your heart pounded again, the proximity dizzying. you swallowed hard, âi didnât.â
his eyes glinted, unaware of his effect towards you, voice dropping, âyou so did.â you groaned, throwing a pillow at him, which he caught one-handed, still laughing.
ââ and i missed you too, you know?,â his voice slipped quieter, softer, the grin fading into something that made your heart skip a beat.
you blinked, your pout faltering, âwell, you sure had a funny way of showing it. three days, yang. three.â
he winced dramatically, hand over his heart, âtrust me, i felt every second. do you know how boring life is without you? i had to actuallyâŚlisten to henderyâs girl problems.â
a reluctant snort escaped you, but it melted quickly into a sigh, âyou deserve worse than that.â
âyeah,â he said quietly, eyes finding yours, the teasing fading into honesty, âi know. and iâm sorry, teddy. for snapping at you. for acting like i didnât need you. because i do.â
your throat went tight, the stubborn wall youâd been holding up all week cracking in two, âyangââ
âno, let me say it,â his voice broke slightly, softer than youâd heard it in weeks, âyouâre the only one whoâs been on my side through all of this. and iâŚi took it out on you. that was messed up. you didnât deserve that.â
you swallowed hard, âi only snapped because i care,â you say, voice shaky but firm, âseeing you pretend like youâre fine when i know youâre notâit drives me crazy. i canât just sit back and watch them hurt you. iâm not as nice as you are.â
yangyang moved onto the bed, even closer now, his usual cocky grin nowhere in sight. just him, raw and open, âi know. and iâm sorry for making you feel like it wasnât your place. it is. youâve always been my place.â
your heart slammed against your ribs so hard it hurt. he didnât mean it the way you wanted him to. you knew that. but the words still stole your breath.
âgod, youâre such a dummy,â you whispered, rolling your eyes playfully to hide the blush that was forming on the apple of your cheeks.
he smiled faintly, hand reaching out to nudge the bear against your arm, âyeah, but iâm your dummy, right?â
you let out a shaky laugh, finally leaning into him, into that familiar warmth youâd missed so much, âyeah. you are.â and when his arm curled around you, pulling you against his chest, your pulse went wild. to him, it was comfort. to you, it was everything.
âiâm sorry, too,â you murmured into his shirt, the words muffled but certain.
âdonât worry about it,â he whispered back, pressing his cheek into your hair, âno more silent treatments. ever.â
you hummed, forcing yourself to sound steady even as your heart thudded erratically. âagreed. now letâs eat the pizza before it gets cold,â you finally pried open the pizza box, the smell of melted cheese filling the room, sharp and comforting all at once. yangyang reached over immediately, snatching the biggest slice like it belonged to him by right.
âhey!â you protested, swatting at his wrist.
he smirked around a mouthful of cheese, âwhat? you need to be faster next time.â rolling your eyes, you grabbed your own slice, too hungry to argue properly. the only sounds were chewing and the occasional crunch of crust, the tension finally bleeding out of the room. when the last of the pizza was gone, you leaned back against the headboard, full and sleepy, mr. bear perched loyally at your side. yangyang stretched out with a groan, flopping back across your bed like he owned the whole thing.
âugh, i swear, no one makes better pizza than that place,â he said, one hand resting over his stomach, eyes drifting shut.
you gave him a look, âyouâre literally about to pass out, arenât you?â
he cracked one eye open, a lazy grin tugging at his lips, âmaybe. this bedâs comfier than mine anyway.â
your heart gave that stupid lurch again. âyou canât just fall asleep here,â you muttered, though your voice lacked conviction.
âwhy not?â he asked, already burrowing into your blanket like a cat, âwe used to do this all the time. remember middle school? after movie marathons? or those all nighters we pulled in senior year?â
of course you remembered. you remembered every one. the sleepovers only stopped when you had your first boyfriend in first year. then was put on hold again when yangyang was dating love. you hesitated, then sighed, scooting down beside him, âfine. but youâre on blanket-sharing probation. you hog it every time.â
âpfft,â he scoffed, already tugging the comforter toward himself, âyouâre just bad at blanket defense.â
you rolled your eyes again but didnât argue, curling up with mr. bear clutched against you. a quiet settled over the room, not the brittle, painful silence of the past three days, but the warm, comfortable kind that wrapped around like the blanket you were reluctantly sharing. your pulse thrummed as yangyang shifted closer, his arm draping over your stomach in that absent, thoughtless way he always did when sleep tugged at him. your body tensed instantly, your heart hammering loud enough you were sure he could hear it. but he didnât. of course he didnât. yangyangâs breathing evened out within minutes, his forehead brushing the side of your hair as he slipped under, blissfully unaware of the way every inch of you was burning at the contact. you stared at the wall, hugging mr. bear tighter, trying to steady your racing heartbeat. eventually, exhaustion pulled at your own limbs and you let your eyes close, letting yourself sink into the warmth of him. the last thing you heard before sleep claimed you was his soft, steady breathing â familiar, safe, home. and just like that, the old routine returned. the fight, the silence, the ache â it all melted into the simple truth of where you belonged â pressed against him, even if heâd never know what it truly meant for you.
𧸠SEPTEMBER 20 - SUNDAY - SHOTARO.
sunday evening. 6PM. you needed a release â some way to get yangyang out of your head because the last week had been chaotic. the endless rants, the cuddling, the hallway fight, the silent treatment. you couldnât even sit through a single class without thinking about him. your frustration needed an outlet, and you knew exactly where to turn. you grabbed your phone, texting the one person that was easy. no pleasantries. no teasing. just a blunt:
y/n: u busy?
shotaro: be there in 5
shotaro arrived just like that. the one person who never asked for explanations. no cuddling afterward, no holding, no lingering â just pure release. as soon as the door shut behind him, your hands were on him, pulling him into your bedroom. clothes became a nuisance, tossed carelessly to your bedroom floor. he was underneath you in seconds, hands and lips working in tandem. you straddled him, letting the heat build, letting the frustration and longing youâd been bottling for yangyang spill out.
âgod, is this about yangyang again?â shotaro murmured against your skin, teasing in that familiar, knowing way.
âdonât say his name.â you sneered, as you grabbed a condom from your night stand and handed it to him. he wrapped his member with ease, smirking up at you with a teasing grin. you groaned, eyes squeezing shut, âdonât look at me like thatâŚjustâŚfuck me.â
his grin widened, sharp and wicked, before he grabbed your hips and sunk you down. the stretch burned, the ache was sharp but it was exactly what you needed. you rode him, let the world shrink down to skin, heat and sweat. no words, no names, just sex. he whispered little taunts under his breath, teasing you for your obvious crush, obvious to everyone except your best friend himself, but it only made you grind harder, your mind too scattered, too desperate to focus on anything else.
âfuck,â shotaro groaned, his hands gripping your thighs, watching the way your body moved against him, âyouâre always so tight when youâre wound up like this.â you didnât answer, just rode him harder, chasing the friction, chasing the distraction. your hair fell into your face, your chest heaving, nails biting into his shoulders as you moved. shotaro chuckled, low and teasing, âwhy donât you just tell him? save yourself theâaghâtrouble of coming to me every time you get worked up over your best friend.â
âshut up,â you moaned, slamming down harder on him, chasing the sharp crack of pleasure, âi didnât call you here for advice, i called you here for dick.â
he laughed amusedly, âsay less.â and in one quick motion, he flipped you onto your back, pinning your wrists above your head with one hand, driving into you deep, fast, relentless. the shift knocked the breath out of you, a cry tearing from your throat. âthis what you needed?â shotaroâs voice was ragged now, his mouth brushing your ear as he thrust harder, rougher, "something to get him out of your head?â
âfuckâfuck, just like thatâfuck meâjust fuck meââ you arched beneath him, words breaking into high-pitched moans, nails dragging down his back. the rhythm was sharp, unforgiving, each thrust grounding you in the heat of now, pulling you further and further from the ache that had been gnawing at you all week.
â˘á´Ľâ˘
yangyang let himself into your apartment, unannounced, like he had been doing for the past month, ever since you gave him the code to your door. it was supposed to be like always â raid your fridge, sprawl on your couch, crash out about the same things over and over again until he gets tired enough and falls asleep. but halfway to your bedroom, he froze. the sound hit him like a slap â your voice, high and breathless, tangled in sharp moans. the wet rhythm of skin slapping against skin, faster, harder. the kind of noises he shouldnât be hearing coming out from you.
ââŚfuck meâjust fuck meââ
his stomach dropped. his brain short-circuited. he should leave. god, he should leave. but his feet stayed rooted, his chest tight, his throat dry. he couldnât move, couldnât breathe, couldnât stop hearing you. the words punched through him and then the answering growl from a man he didnât recognize. deep. smug. taking you apart. he staggered back, heart racing, palms sweaty. he couldnât go closer. but he also couldnât bring himself to walk out. so he dropped into your couch instead, head in his hands, staring blankly at the dark t.v. screen. the sounds from your room carried â every moan, every gasp, every filthy slap of skin against skin. they painted pictures in his head heâd never once let himself imagine. pictures that had his cock twitching, heat pooling low in his gut before he even realized it.
âshit,â he whispered under his breath, shifting uncomfortably. but nothing helped. every noise made it worse â youâd always been his best friend. his constant. heâd never thought about you like this, not once. and now all he could think about was what your face looked like when you cried out, what your body looked like under someone elseâs hands. he sat there, trapped, every muscle locked tight, his heart thundering out of control. listening as another man fucked you in a room heâd wandered into a thousand times before.
â˘á´Ľâ˘
you came undone with a gasp, fingers digging into shotaroâs shoulders as his hips snapped up one last time. he groaned, body tensing before spilling into the condom, the both of you collapsing into the sheets at the same time. for a moment, the only sound was heavy breathing. then, as always, the spell broke. no kisses. no cuddles. no gentle aftermath. just silence and the faint, sweat-slick smell of sex. you pulled the hem of your oversized t-shirt, youâre sure is yangyangâs, letting it fall just enough to cover your thighs, âget out,â you muttered, already reaching for the water bottle by your nightstand.
shotaro just laughed, eyes crinkling with that easy expression he always had, âefficient as ever,â he rolled out of bed, tugging his cargo pants up without a care, âbut damnâŚworth it.â
a few minutes later, shotaro padded out of your bedroom, running a hand through his already misheveled hair. you didnât bother walking him out the door, staying rooted at the ede of your bed. but the second he stepped into your living room, he froze.
âuhâŚhi,â yangyang blurted, voice loud enough to snap you right back into your body.
âyang?â you stumbled out of your bedroom and into the living room, in nothing but your best friend's shirt and your blue underwear, heart leaping into your throat, âwhat are you doing here?â
he stuttered immediately, eyes wide, trying to ignore the fact that youâre wearing his shirt, âiâi just got here, iâll just, uhm goââ
shotaro, completely unfazed and clearly enjoying the tension, cut in smoothly as he headed towards your door, âno worries, man. i was already on my way out.â
the casual tone, the little smirk on his face, the way yangyangâs ears burned bright red made the air between you sharp, electric, almost unbearable. and then the door clicked shut behind your fuck buddy.
for a second, the apartment was too quiet. just you. just yangyang. just the faint scent of sex lingering and his oversized t-shirt clinging to your skin. yangyang leaned back into your couch cushions, smirking like he had the upper hand, though his posture screamed otherwise. you could tell he was trying to look casual but the way he shifted, one of your throw pillows clutched across his lap, gave him away.
âsoâŚâ he drawled, lips twitching, âyou and shotaro, huh?â
âshut up,â you shot him a glare but he only laughed.
you marched past him toward the kitchen, snatching up the abandoned empty pizza box you still needed to throw out, just to have something to do with your hands, âwe just fuck sometimes. thatâs it. donât make it a big deal.â
yangyang let out a low whistle, rocking forward on the couch, âdamn. my best friendâs got a whole secret sex life i didnât know about.â his eyes sparkled with mischief, âkinda proud, teddy. lowkey impressed you snatched mr. dancing machine.â
you shot him a look sharp enough to cut glass, âi shouldâve never given you the code to my door. you muttered, tossing the crumpled pizza box into the trash with a little too much force.
when you turned back, you caught him shifting uncomfortably, one of your throw pillows suddenly clutched across his lap. he tries to play it off, âwhat? no way. best gift you ever gave me. unlimited therapy session. plus i get to waltz in whenever i want. itâs likeââ he made a sweeping gesture, pillow still in place, âa VIP membership to your life.â
âyeah, a VIP membership to walk in on things you really shouldnât,â you shot back, raising a brow.
he groaned, tipping his head back against the couch dramatically, âokay fair, but how was i supposed to know youâd beâŚyou knowâŚâ he waved vaguely in the direction of your bedroom, like he could erase the memory with a gesture.
you crossed your arms, trying not to grin too much, âthatâs why next time, maybe text first?â
you couldnât help but notice how tightly he was clutching your throw pillow, fingers digging in like he was holding on for dear life. the fabric stretched under his knuckles and the way his arm trembled slightly didnât escape your attention. âyangâŚâ you said, tilting your head, voice playful but pointed, âwhy are you gripping my pillow like that?
he froze instantly, the pillow almost molded to the shape of his hand and a faint flush crept up his neck, âi-iâm notâŚâ his voice trailed off and he shifted awkwardly on the couch, trying to loosen his grip without actually letting go.
âmhmm,â you crossed your arms, smirking despite your own heart hammering in your chest as you stepped closer, ââthatâs a very relaxed way to hold a pillow, donât you think?â
his jaw tightened, eyes darting away, but the tension radiating off him was impossible to ignore, âi-itâs just comfortable,â he muttered, still holding the pillow like it was shielding him from the world.
you laughed softly, crossing your arms, pretending to inspect him critically, âi see everything, you know. every little thing you try to hide,â you said, voice teasing, eyes sparkling as you let your words hang in the air.
his ears burned bright red, a mix of exasperation and embarrassment in his expression, âshut up,â he muttered. you walked over and with one swift motion, you yanked the pillow out of his grip before he could stop you. the second it left his hands, you caught the undeniable confirmation â the hard outline pressed against his sweats. your jaw dropped, then you burst into uncontrollable laughter, clutching your stomach, âyou did not seriously get a boner over that. are you a teenager?!,â you gasped between laughter, pointing at him.
yangyangâs face blazed, âcan you really blame me? that was likeâŚaudio porn!â
you laughed even harder, slapping your knees, unable to believe what you were seeing. he scowled for a moment, then suddenly lunged at you, toppling you backward onto the couch, âokay, you asked for this!,â he declared. the tickle fight that followed left you squealing, squirming beneath him, his hands grabbing at your sides and ribs, laughter spilling out of both of you. but as your bodies pressed together in the struggle, you felt it â the hard, unmistakable heat of him pressing right against the thin cotton of your panties.
yangyang froze for a split second, his eyes wide as he realized you might feel it too. the laughter caught in your throat, replaced by a sharp inhale. both of you were suddenly hyper-aware of just how wrong it was to be half-naked and ridiculously turned on while pretending to have a childish tickle fight. the room feeling heavy and charged âplayfulness collapsing into something dangerous.
yangyang cleared his throat and rolled off you like the couch had burned him. you scrambled upright, tugging the hem of his shirt lower, refusing to meet his eyes. the silence was unbearable. so you reached for the remote and flicked the t.v. on. you curled up at the far end of the couch, he leaned against the opposite armrest, still flushed, the pillow back on his lap, pretending to look interested in whatever nonsense flashed on screen. but you could feel the weight of him. the silence between you wasnât just awkward, it was suffocating. finally, desperate to cut through it, you risked a sideways glance at him and muttered, â...do you, uhâŚneed help with that?â
yangyangâs head whipped towards you, eyes blown wide, like youâd just detonated a bomb in the middle of the room. his lips parted, no words at first. color rushed up his neck, burning his ears. he scoffed weakly, shaking his head, âyouâre joking.â
were you? you werenât even sure. youâd do anything for him if he asked. but of course, he didnât need to know that.
âof course, iâm joking,â you forced out a teasing grin, leaning back against the cushions, âgo to my bathroom and take care of it.â
he groaned, rolling his eyes and threw the pillow at you, âshut up. letâs justâŚtalk about something else and itâll go away.â
you tossed the pillow aside, smirking, âokay, what do you want to talk about?â
he cleared his throat, clearly grateful for the subject change, though his voice was still rough at the edges. his mind wandered back to the real reason heâd come over in the first place. âi saw them again today,â he started, eyes fixed on the t.v. though he wasnât really watching. you sighed, sinking back into your side of the couch, already bracing yourself for another one of his renjun and love venting sessions.
â˘á´Ľâ˘
later that evening, when yangyang shut the door to his room and collapsed onto his bed, it all came rushing back â the sound of your moans, the sight of you in his shirt, the feel of your body warm beneath his. and then your voice, low and teasing, brushing the edges of something dangerous.
â...do you, uhâŚneed help with that?â
what if heâd said yes? would you really have done it? would you have dropped to your knees for him, lips wrapping around his cock, swallowing every ragged sound heâd make? the thought made his whole body tense, his cock throbbing so hard it hurt. a groan tore out of his chest as his hand slipped beneath his waistband, wrapping around himself. he was already leaking, already too far gone from hours of being so fucking hard. his strokes were rough, fast, chasing that impossible image of you â your mouth stretched around him, eyes flicking up, smug and playful even as you hollowed your cheeks. the more he pictured it, the more unbearable it became, until his hips were snapping into his fist, muscles drawn tight as wire. heat coiled sharp and low before it snapped all at once, spilling across his stomach in thick, messy ropes. his head tipped back against the pillow with a guttural curse, relief hitting so hard his thighs trembled.
all he could do was breathe. and when his chest finally slowed, as the sweat cooled on his skin, the guilt crept in â he stared at the ceiling, jaw tight, trying to shove the images away, trying to convince himself it didnât matter. that it didnât mean anything. that he was just pent up, just needed a release. that it wasnât about you.
he wiped his hand on a tissue, tossing it blindly toward the trash and dragged both palms over his face. never again. he told himself. this canât happen again. because you were his best friend. the one person he could be stupid with, unfiltered with. the one person he trusted more than anyone. he couldnât let a few reckless urges ruin thirteen years of friendship. he wouldnât. he swore it to himself, jaw set tight in the dark. sheâs my best friend, he thought. thatâs all she is. thatâs all she can be. but even as the words repeated in his head, he felt how flimsy they were. like paper trying to hold back a flood. because even as exhaustion pulled him under, the realization hit him hard. for the first time in weeks, the thought of you had replaced the thought of her.
not his ex. not the best friend who broke his heart.
just you.
and somehow, that terrified him more than anything else.
𧸠SEPTEMBER 22 - TUESDAY - JEALOUSY.
it had only been a week since the four of you last sat in this class together. a week wasnât long. the classroom hadnât changed. the paint-splattered stools, the faint smell of paint, the hum of pencils scratching against sketchbooks.
but yangyang felt completely different.
a week ago, all he could see was them â renjun and love. sitting just a few feet away, whispering into each otherâs ears, trading smiles so soft they might as well have been knives. watching them had been torture. watching them had cracked him open, ripped at his scars until they burned fresh again.
but nowâŚnow all he could think about was you.
you, sitting right beside him, bent over your sketchpad as you finalized the outlines for the cafeâs logo. the brush of your arm against his, the warmth of your thigh grazing his under the table â it was all suddenly unbearable. at one point you leaned just slightly closer to point out something on your paper and yangyang swore he forgot how to breathe. a week ago, this wouldnât have registered. he would've been too wrapped up in heartbreak, in hating how much renjun and love looked like the perfect pair. but today, his focus had shifted. things he never noticed before, things he brushed off as meaningless, now had his pulse stuttering in his veins. every laugh you let slip, every time you slapped his thigh when the laughter was too much to hold in, every absentminded brush of your fingers against his, every small, careless detail of your presence, every innocent point of contact â felt like a jolt to his system.
renjun slid his sketchpad forward, tapping his pencil against the rim of the drawn coffee cup, âi added a little more detail to the cup,â he explained, casual but confident, âjust to highlight the main focus.â
you leaned in to look, lips curling into something polite and careful, âthatâs actually really nice,â you said, your tone smooth, deliberate, âthe way you shaded the curve makes it look sharper. good detail.â
you were playing nice. yangyang knew it. he was the one who begged you to not make things harder and you were just doing exactly what he wished for. but now â all yangyang heard was the softness in your voice when you praised renjun, all he saw was the way you leaned in to look closer. his hand froze mid-stroke, pencil hovering above his page. his thoughts consuming him. why do you have to lean in like that? why do you sound so impressed when you talk to him? jealousy burned in his gut, hot and sour. his ex-girlfriend had already chosen renjun over him. would you, too?
renjun looked between the two of you, then casually asked, âwhat do you think, yang? too much shading?â
yangyang blinked, yanked back to the conversation. âyeah. probably. itâs a little overdone.â his voice was sharper than he meant it to be, his pencil pressing too hard against his own page.
renjun frowned, looking at his sketch. âi was just trying toââ
ââmake it perfect, i know,â yangyang cut in quickly, forcing a laugh that didnât land, âclassic renjun, mr. detail.â
you shifted slightly, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye. not a word â just a look he understood immediately. the one that asked, whatâs wrong with you?
then you looked at renjun, muttering out an encouraging, âi like it. donât listen to yangyang.â before redirecting your gaze back to your best friend, searching for answers. finally, he shook his head, sharp and small, and when he didnât elaborate, you exhaled softly and turned back to the page.
yangyang forced his pencil back to the paper but the jealousy didnât fade. class went on. renjun and love whispered to each other across from him, trading notes and soft smiles, while yangyang continued to sit stiff beside you, pretending to sketch. every time you leaned forward to ask renjun a question or murmured something polite, his chest tightened, green burning under his ribs. he didnât say a word though. just let it fester, chewing on the inside of his cheek until class finally ended.
the four of you packed up. renjun and love left first. you slung your bag over your shoulder, waiting for yangyang to grab his things. it wasnât until you stepped out into the hallway, the classroom door swinging shut behind you, that he finally spoke, âyou were being awfully nice,â he said, low, almost casual but not really.
you blinked, glancing sideways at him, âhuh?â
he shrugged, eyes fixed forward, like it was no big deal, âto them. to renjun.â
your brow furrowed, piecing the pieces together, âokay, waitââ you stopped walking, forcing him to stop too, âso, let me get this straight. last week you literally ignored me for being mean to them and now youâre mad that iâm nice?â
yangyangâs jaw clenched. he didnât have a good answer and he knew it, âiâm not mad.â
you scoffed, âyou sound mad.â
âiâm not,â he insisted, sharper this time. but his voice cracked halfway through, betraying him.
your eyes narrowed, âthen what is it?â
his jaw tightened, ânothing.â
you folded your arms, not letting him off that easy, âbullshit. youâve been sulking since renjun showed his sketch. so go onâŚsay it. whatâs actually bothering you?â
yangyang looked at you then, finally meeting your eyes and for a split second something raw flickered there. but just as quickly, he shoved it down. âitâs justââ he faltered, then forced a laugh. âyou donât have to praise him like heâs picasso, okay? itâs just a coffee cup.â
you stared at him, incredulous, âthatâs what this is about? youâre jealous overâŚshading?â
his ears went red, âiâm not jealous.â
you raised a brow, âright. whatever you say.â
he groaned, dragging a hand down his face, âgod, youâre impossible.â
âand youâre ridiculous!â you shot back, but softer now, playful. you sighed, letting your arms drop, âi was just trying to do what you asked me to do. be nice. keep the peace.â
that silenced him. his throat bobbed as he swallowed, guilt flashing across his expression before he shoved it away again. for a moment, neither of you said anything. the hallway buzzed faintly with other students passing by but between you two, the tension pressed thick and heavy.
yangyang finally muttered, barely audible, âyeahâŚi know. i justâŚdonât like it.â
you blinked at him, then let out a short laugh before a smirk took over your face, casual, easy, ârelax. iâm not about to run off and join their little lovefest. youâre stuck with me, dummy.â
that tugged a reluctant chuckled out of him, low and quiet, but enough to soften the edges of his jealousy. the two of you walked on, the tension easing into something familiar again â banter layered over the unsaid, like always.
𧸠SEPTEMBER 25 - FRIDAY - SEVEN MINUTES IN HEAVEN.
the bass downstairs rattles the floorboards, the whole riize frat house alive with drunk laughter and chants. someoneâs passed you a red solo cup thatâs been refilled too many times already and your head is pleasantly fuzzy, heart beating too fast in your chest. you hadnât planned to be here. you only came because yangyang dragged you, promising âjust one beer, chill night, weâll leave early.â but somehow just one beer became just one shot and then just one more until you were giggling against the upstairs hallway wall, watching couples stumble into a closet as the next victims of seven minutes in heaven.
youâd been content to watch â until shotaro, grinning at you like the devil he is, suddenly points right at you, âyo, i nominate them,â he says, voice carrying over the cheers, âour favorite besties! yangyang and y/n!â he smirks, saying your name with way too much glee. the crowd roars. your stomach drops. and if looks could kill, shotaro would be five feet under while you fake cry with a bouquet in your hand.
yangyang laughs it off at first, waving them away, ânah, nah, pick someone elseââ
but his refusal only made the chants louder, âYANGYANG! Y/N! YANYANG! Y/N!â
then shotaro delivers the killing blow, âif they donât at least make out, they gotta streak from this room all the way to pool. naked. right now.â yeah, you were about ready to book his funeral date.
the crowd erupts even louder. someone pounds on the closet door for emphasis. you glance at yangyang, mortified. his cheeks are already pink from the alcohol but the flush deepens as his eyes meet yours. yanyang lets out a nervous laugh, rubbing the back of hic neck, âguess weâre screwed, huh?â
before you can argue, hands are on your backs, shoving you both into the closet. the door slams and the lock clicks. the crowd outside starts a countdown, muffled through the wood but relentless, âSEVEN! MINUTES! IN! HEAVEN!â
the closet is pitch dark, the smell of coats and cologne hanging in the air. yangyang stumbles into you, shoulder knocking yours, both of you giggling awkwardly. the sound dies fast. something about being trapped in this tiny closet, being this close, hits you hard. he exhales, voice low, trying to keep it light, âokay, soâŚeither we streak naked in front of like, half the fratâŚâ his pause is long, deliberate, âorâŚwe make out.â
your heart lurches, all those times youâve been at your best behavior, trying not to ruin your friendship, trying to keep your feelings at bay, just for it to crumble down over a silly little party game. you scoff, trying to keep his light tone, âiâm never letting you drag me into a party again.â
outside, someone yells, âWEâRE LISTENING!," followed by laughter.
yangyang curses under his breath, hiding his own nerves under a giggle. then, after a beat, he adds, softer, almost testing, âhonestly? iâd rather kiss you than have our nudes all over social media.â you couldnât argue with that. plus you had more to lose than he did. the seconds stretch, your pulse thundering in your ears. and then yangyang moves, slowly, his hand brushing your wrist like heâs asking permission.
âyou cool with it?â
âyeah,â you whispered, hoping he doesnât catch the way your voice shook or the way your heart is pounding so loud you could barely hear the roar of cheers outside.
and before you could even register what was happening, he softly tilted you towards him, a finger under your chin â lips on yours in a soft, slow kiss, tasting faintly of beer and hesitation. it lasted five total seconds before you pulled back an inch, breathless. he did too. for a suspended moment, it was just the sound of your heavy breathing. then, as if drawn by the same thought â you both leaned in again. at the same time. firmer this time. mouths slotting together in a rush that felt inevitable. the longer it lasts, the less funny it becomes. his hand slides to your waist, tugging you closer in the tight space. your fingers fisted in the front of his shirt. the kiss grew hungrier, teeth clashing a little, tongues tangling in a way that made your knees week and a whine slip from your lips.
âOH THEYâRE DEFINITELY DOING SOMETHING!,â someone yelled from outside.
yangyang chuckled against your mouth, lips trailing dangerously close to your ear. his breath was hot, his whisper meant only for you, âguess we should give them what they want, huh?â he kissed down your jaw, lingering at your neck until a moan slipped out of you before you could control it. the crowd howled like theyâd just won a prize. minutes blurred, heat and alcohol tangling until you werenât sure where your laughter ended and your moans began. the world outside blurred into static as your world narrows to yangyangâs lips moving hungrily against yours, body flushed, fingers digging into his hair like you've been waiting years for this. which, technically, you have.
by the time someone outside banged on the door and shouted, âTIMEâS UP!â you were both panting, clothes rumpled, lips swollen.
yangyang leaned his head back against the wall, laughing breathlessly, eyes gleaming even in the dark, âthink we bought ourselves out of streaking duty?â
you couldnât even answer, too busy catching your breath. his thumb brushed your lower lip, almost absent-mindedly, wiping away your smudged lipstick, like now that heâs touched you like this he could no longer stop.
the lock clicked, the door swung open, and the roar of the party came crashing in. everyoneâs faces lit up at the sight of you two flushed and disheveled, shotaro looking prouder than usual. someone even shouted, âDAMN, THEY WENT IN ON EACH OTHER!â
your face burned. yangyang just slung an arm around your shoulders, calm and collected, like nothing happened, grinning lazily, ârelax,â he murmured in your ear, sensing your embarrassment as if you werenât both flushed and rumpled, âwe just won the game.â you rolled your eyes, forcing a laugh but your pulse was still racing. the crowd quickly lost interest, moving on to drag their next victims towards the closet while you and yangyang slipped back into the swarm of bodies downstairs. the bass was heavier here, lights flashing orange and white across sweaty faces. yangyang steered you toward the kitchen, âshots?â
you looked at the alcohol like it hasnât already gotten you in enough trouble for the night, âdefinitely.â the two of you lined up side by side at the counter, tossing them back one after the other. the tequila burned but it was better than the heat still lingering on your lips. better than the way your chest tightened every time you remembered howâd he pressed you against the closet wall.
you both laughed too loudly, moved too quickly, like if you just kept pouring and swallowing, you could wash away the last seven minutes. back in the living room, ningning pulled you onto the dance floor. yangyang followed instantly, a goofy grin plastered on his face, body moving to the beat with exaggerated moves. you bumped shoulders, trying so hard to act like it was just another party. just another night with your best friend. but every time his hand brushed your waist in the chaos, the memory of his mouth on yours came roaring back. so you drowned it in another shot. and another. and another.
yangyang mirrored you drink for drink, laughing, joking, throwing his head back like nothing in the world had changed. you didnât notice the way his smile would falter in the moments between â how his gaze would drop to your lips before he tore it away, burying it in the crowd, the music, the liquor.
neither of you could stop drinking, like the burn in your throats was easier to handle than the fire that had just set between you.
â˘á´Ľâ˘
the party was still raging when you and yangyang finally slipped out, laughter ringing behind you, the smell of alcohol clinging to your clothes. the cool night air hit your cheeks, the two of you stumbling down the sidewalk, drunk giggles bubbling between hiccups of silence.
âmy feef hu-urrgh,â you muttered, tripping over a curb.
yangyang caught your elbow, though his own balance was barely steady, âwhat?â he laughed, blinking hard like it would steady the street spinning under his feet.
âmy. feet. hurt.â you repeated slower, enunciating each word like it took every ounce of concentration.
that only made him double over with laughter, his arm looping around your shoulders just to keep the both of you upright. you clung to him, laughing so hard your ribs ached. every step was a stumble, every laugh another collapsed into each otherâs sides, until the two of you were gasping for air like idiots. by the time you made it up the stairs to your apartment, your faces ache from laughing. at what? neither of you even knew anymore. yangyang nearly fell against the keypad, both of you struggling to remember the code while giggling like kids sneaking out past curfew. somehow, you got it in, and the door slammed behind you with a heavy thud. shoes kicked off somewhere near the entryway while you stumbled in tandem through the dark before collapsing in a tangled heap onto your bed, too drunk to care about the lights or the mess. the mattress groaned under the weight, the room spinning in dizzy circles, âa-are we spinning?â you giggled into your pillow.
âyeahhh,â yangyang slurred, rolling onto his back beside you, the mattress dipped, his arm brushing yours, his knee bumping your thigh. neither of you moved away. you turned your head, ready to tease him â only he was right there. closer than you expected. close enough to see the glassy gleam in his eyes, close enough to feel the heat of tequila on his breath. and just like that, the air shifted. the laughter died, choked out by the thud of your heart pounding too fast in your chest. his eyes flicked to your lips, then back to your gaze, lazy but sharp, like he was fighting to decide if heâd imagined what happened earlier.
for one suspended second, you swore the room stopped spinning.
then his lips were on yours again â this time sloppy, desperate, all the tension from the night finally slipping over. the second his hand slid to the back of your head like heâd been starving for this, your body gave in. you gasped into his mouth, the sound swallowed whole as the kiss turned hotter, hungrier, tongues tangling, teeth clashing, both of you desperate enough that precision didnât matter. his body heat drowned out everything, pulling you in until you were chest to chest. his hands slid under your shirt, fumbling, tugging you on top of him with a growl muffled against your mouth. you straddled him without hesitation, knees sinking into the mattress, fingers fisting the fabric of his hoodie.
somewhere in the back of your mind, you knew you were crossing a line. but with yangyangâs lips moving against yours, breath ragged, hips pressing up into yours â there was no stopping it now.
âfuck,â he groaned, teeth grazing your jaw as his head tipped back, âwe shouldnâtââ
âthen stop,â you whispered back, dragging your mouth down his throat.
he didnât. he couldnât. his hands drag over your waist, clumsy but hungry, pulling your shirt off and tossing it to the side. every brush of his fingers made the blood roar in your ears, making the world tilt. clothes fell away in pieces â his hoodie yanked off, your jeans kicked off the bed. every barrier stripped felt less like a choice and more like inevitability. like this had always been where you were headed. by the time you were both bare, your skin slick against his in the dark â the air was thick with heat and alcohol. and when his hips bucked, the hard press of him against you made your stomach clench. your lips trailed lower, tasting the salt of his skin, kissing down the hard lines of his chest, your hands roaming, desperate to touch everything youâd never let yourself have before tonight. his breath hitched, hips jerking when your lips reached his stomach. and when you finally wrapped your hand around him, hard and heavy against your palm, yangyangâs head tipped back against the pillow, eyes squeezing shut, a hoarse curse tumbling out of his lips, âshitââ he groaned, hips bucking up helplessly. his knuckles went white, twisting in the sheets, his head thrown back, hair sticking damp to his forehead. the first slick drag of your tongue had him gasping, the second had him choking on a broken moan that sounded nothing like the playful, smug best friend you knew.
âyouâreâshitâyouâre bigger than you look,â you giggled before your lips sucked around his tip, collecting his leaking pre-cum.
he let out a strangled sound, a mix between laughter and a groan, his hips jerking helplessly, âdonâtâf-fuckâdonât say that,â his voice cracked, raw and desperate, âgod, teddyâshit, donât stop, please donât stopââ
the nickname nearly undid you. you sank your lips further down his length, the weight of him hot and heavy on your tongue, until your throat burned and your eyes watered, but you didnât care. the more you took, the more you wanted. you were dizzy on the taste of him, the way he was begging, the way his thighs trembled around you, the way his hand clutched your hair like it was the only thing tethering him to reality. yangyangâs voice cracked again, hoarse and pleading, âpleaseâplease, moreâ,â his hips jerked like he was trying to fuck your throat, âyouâre soâshitâyouâre so good at this.âyou choked around him and he nearly fell apart, the sound vibrating throughout his body, his voice breaking into a strangled cry as his cock twitched on your tongue, hips jerking harder.
âf-fuck, iâm gonnaâ,â his voice pitched high, desperate, like he didnât even want it to end. his free hand fisted in the sheets, pulling them tight. his eyes rolled back, sweat beading at his temple, voice cracking on your name as he broke off in a long, drawn-out whimper, spilling hot into your mouth. you hollowed your cheeks and swallowed him down, drunk off of the way he fell apart for you, whiny and ruined and begging like heâd never known how to beg before.
you were still catching your breath, lips wet and swollen, when yangyang suddenly surged up, his hand gripping your waist. in a messy blur, he flipped you onto your back. your mind way too drunk to catch up, âyangâ,â you gasped as his lips closed around your nipple, teeth grazing, tongue dragging clumsy but desperate.
âshut up,â he mumbled against your skin, breath hot, laugh muffled, ây-you think iâm letting you be the only one? fuck no.â
he was sill so drunk. both of you were. but the hunger in the way he mouthed at you didnât feel dulled â it felt sharpened, frantic. his mouth blazed down your body, leaving sloppy kisses and bite marks until he shoved his shoulders between your knees. the first drag of his tongue had you gasping, head feeling back against the pillow. the second had you crying out, your fingers tangling in his hair.
âyangâahhâ,â the ceiling tilting above you. there was nothing polished about the way he ate you â just raw hunger. he groaned at the taste, pressing deeper, tongue messy, unrestrained, loud slurps, wet sounds, shameless moans that made your whole body shudder, his face buried deep like he couldnât get close enough.
âholy shittâyou tasteâ,â his words slurred into nonsense, ââso fucking goodâbeen wantingâgod, iâm soâ,â he cut himself off with a groan, nose pressing against you as his tongue worked deeper, sloppy and desperate. your thighs trembled, your hips rolling helplessly into his mouth. his grip only tightened, pinning you down, making you take everything he gave you. his hair was damp with sweat under your finger, his own moans muffled against you as he devoured you like he was starving.
âyangâfuckâfuckâ,â your back arched, toes curling, the heat in your stomach bulding as his tongue dragged over that perfect spot again and again. you pulled at his hair, desperate for something to anchor yourself to and that only made him shove deeper, his nose bumping your clit as he tongue-fucked you. then two fingers pressed inside you without hesitation, the stretch clumsy but so, so deep, curling until your cry broke sharp and high. every noise he pulled out of you made him groan louder, rutting into the mattress below him. the bed creaked with his pace, each thrust of his fingers matched by his frantic grinding. his cock rock-hard again and leaking all over the sheets but he was too wrecked to care about the mess he was making. not when you were writhing underneath him.
âgod, teddyâ,â he whined shamelessly, his rhythm stuttering as your walls fluttered around his fingers, he curled them harder, faster, desperate to hear more of your noises, âyouâre so hot like this. fuckâpleaseââ
you sobbed out a whine, back arching, nails scraping his scalp and the noise he made was downright wrecked. his hips snapped against the bed, chasing friction, chasing relief. every time you moaned, he whimpered, rutting harder against your bed, smearing precum over your sheets without shame.
âpleaseâpleaseâ,â the word tumbled from his lips, incoherent, half begging you to come, half begging himself not to finish again. his tongue lapped around your clit, âyou sound so goodâtaste so goodâgod, i couldâshitâi could do this for hours.
âyangyangââ your voice broke, shivering as his fingers curled impossibly deeper, hitting that spot that made stars burst behind your eyelids.
âsay it again,â he gasped against you, tongue moving messier, wetter, more frantic, âpleaseâplease say my nameââ you screamed it this time, back arching off the mattress â and he broke with it. he moaned loud into you, his release spilling against the sheets as he came undone a second time, grinding into the bed like he couldnât stop. and he didnât stop. even as he shuddered, even as his cock twitched against the bed, he kept his fingers pumping, his tongue pressing until your climax hit hard â violent, wracking, tearing a broken cry from your throat as yangyangâs tongue and fingers pushed you over the edge. your whole body arched off the mattress, thighs clamping around his head as you came.
âyangâfuckâiâmââ your voice broke, the rest swallowed in a silent moan as you pulsed around his fingers. heat flooded every nerve, your vision going white at the edges. he drew every last shudder from you, swallowing down your release. when you finally sagged back into bed, chest heaving, your vision swam in dizzy stars. yangyang collapsed against your thigh, face sticky, lips slick with you, hair damp with sweat. his cock softening against the ruined sheets but his body still trembled faintly, spent from his own release.
netiher of you spoke. neither of you could. the alcohol, the mess, the sheer exhaustion weighed down your limbs. you reached blindly for him and he came up without hesitation, dragging himself up onto the bed beside you. the sheets were ruined, sticky with sweat and sex, but neither of you could care. you were too drunk, too spent, too wrapped up in the haze of each otherâs bodies. you curled into each other automatically, his arm slung heavy around your waist, your forehead pressed against his chest. and just like that, tangled in the wreckage of your choices, you both slipped under.
𧸠SEPTEMBER 26 - SATURDAY - A MISTAKE.
sunlight cut across your room far too bright for your pounding head. the dryness in your mouth hit first, then the throb behind your eyes and then the heat pressed against you.
you werenât alone.
the realization landed the same second yangyang stirred. his arm was around your waist. your bare chest flush to his. the sheets clung to your legs, tangled between your bodies. you blinked hard, vision swimming, just as his lashes fluttered open. the moment your eyes locked, sober clarity snapped like a rubber band pulled too tight.
âohâfuck,â yangyang rasped, voice hoarse, eyes wide as he jerked back, only to freeze when he realized he was still naked under your sheets. your stomach plummeted. the pounding in your head drowned out by a harder, colder pulse of panic. you scrambled upright, dragging the blanket against your chest like it could erase the way his skin had been on yours just seconds ago. the silence was deafening. both of you breathing too fast, too shallow. both of you remembering at the same time â the shots, the laughter, the way youâd stumbled into bed together, into each other. the way youâd stripped and kissed each other down.
neither of you could take it back.
yangyang shoved a hand through his hair, cursing under his breath, his voice cracked around the word, âshit. shit. weââ
you cut in, voice sharper than you meant, âyeah, i know what we did.â
the air between you was heavy, thick, everything unsaid pressing down until it felt suffocating. he looked away first, jaw tight, muttering, âwe were drunk. itâŚit didnât mean anything.â
your chest constricted like heâd punched straight through it. a wake up call. a reminder of the thing you already knew deep down â the boy youâre in love with will never love you back. not in the way you want him to. that last night, to him, was nothing but a blurred mistake in a series of poor decisions. your pulse roared in your ears, but you forced your face blank, forced the words out even though they scraped your throat raw, âright,â you said quickly, too quickly, âit doesnât mean anything. we were drunk.â you repeat his words, your laugh coming out hollow, brittle, a poor imitation of casual. you clutched the blanket tighter around yourself as if it could hold together the pieces of you splintering from the inside out.
yangyang let out a shaky exhale, his shoulders dropping, some flicker of relief passing across his features, âyeah. exactly. justâŚa mistake. weâll forget it.â
a mistake. the word lodged in your chest like glass, sharp and cruel. you nodded anyway because what else could you do? admit youâre in love with him? admit that last night hadnât felt like a mistake at all? that even drunk, it was the only thing that ever felt real? no. you couldnât ruin thirteen years of friendship for something he wanted to forget. so you swallowed it down.
the burn of tequila was nothing compared to the ache of swallowing this truth.
âyeah,â you whispered, eyes fixed anywhere but him, âforget it.â
the silence stretched, unbearable, until it felt like the walls were closing in. he moved first, movements hurried, clumsy, as he shoved one leg into his jeans, then the other. his hands shook as he yanked the zipper, as he searched your floor for his hoodie. you sat frozen on the bed, nails digging crescents into your palm beneath the blanket. your body screamed to move, to say something, anything, but you stayed still like a statue.
he didn't look at you when he finally muttered, voice low, âiâll see you later.â the door clicked shut behind him. and only then, when you were finally alone, did the first crack in your facade give way. your shoulders sagged. the tears youâd been biting back stung hot at the corners of your eyes, spilling silently down your cheeks as your curled into yourself on the bed that still smelled like the remnants of last night. the sheets clung damp to your skin. his warmth lingered like a ghost in the mattress. you pressed your face into the pillow, muffling the sob that tore its way out. the taste of last night still lingering on your tongue.
𧸠SEPTEMBER 28 - MONDAY - THE OBVIOUS.
yangyang couldnât stop replaying it. the taste of your lips, the heat of your body, the way your laughter had broken into a moan in the dark. images of you flashing and consuming every waking thought he had. and then â yesterday. the look in your eyes. the word mistake. he told himself it was fine. you were fine. best friends go through shit and move on. but every time he tried to focus, the memory pressed harder, suffocating, until he felt like he was choking on the silence he brought upon himself. and the worst part? he couldnât even talk to you about it. the one person he usually ran to when shit like this happens.
so he ended up standing outside the dream fraternity house, hands stuffed in his hoodie pocket, debating whether this was the dumbest idea of his life. the door creaked open before he could knock. jeno gave him a curious once-over, one eyebrow arched, before jerking his head inside, ârenjunâs upstairs.â yangyang muttered a thanks, his throat dry â he found renjun hunched over his desk, sketchbook open, pencil tapping. the same renjun heâd been avoiding for weeks. the same renjun who had once been closer than a brother before everything fell apart. now here he was. because despite it all, renjun was the next person who would understand him.
renjunâs gaze lifted, sharp, unreadable at first, then softening into a flicker of shock. âheyâŚeverything okay?â
yangyang leaned against the doorframe, suddenly aware of how stupid this is. he exhaled, running a hand through his hair, âi, uhâŚi need,â he clears his throat, exhaling, running a hand through his hair, âi need to talk to someone.â
renjun set his pencil down, leaning back in his chair, inviting him to come in, âyou know iâm always all ears.â something in his tone â calm, patient, not holding the past against him, was enough to crack yangyangâs defenses, a nervous grin tugged on his lips as he stepped inside slowly before taking a seat at the edge of his friendâs bed.
âiâ,â he hesitated, then the words tumbled out, low and rough, âi hooked up with y/n.â
the silence hit first. then renjunâs brows rose, not in shock exactly, more like confirmation, âhooked up as inâ?â
yangyang groaned, dragging his hands down his face, âas in we were drunk and got to second base.â
renjun whistled under his breath, but his expression stayed calm, almost knowing, âwell,â he said, leaning back further in his chair, âtook you long enough.â
yangyangâs had snapped up, âthe fuckâs that supposed to mean?â
renjun tilted his head, studying him with that infuriating but familiar precision, no judgment in it, just quiet truth, âi always knew there was something else there.â
yangyang blinked. the words didnât compute, âwhat? no way. weâve always just been best friends.â
âsure,â renjun said evenly, âbest friends who look at each other like the rest of the world disappears. best friends who packed their bags and flew all the way to germany for an internship because it was the only one the both of you got intoââ
âwhat are you trying to say?â yangyang cut in, pulse stuttering, a little annoyed now, defensive because he didnât know what else to be.
renjunâs gaze softened. his voice was steady, kind in a way yangyang wasnât prepared for, âyou can lie to yourself all you want, yang, but it doesnât change whatâs obvious to literally everyone else,â renjun paused, eyes searching his, âmaybe to you, youâve just been best friends. but y/n? she looks at you the same way i look at love.â
yangyang let out a sharp, incredulous laugh, shaking his head hard enough to make his messy hair fall into his eyes. âno jun, come on. if that was true, if there was anything like that, donât you think it wouldâve happened by now? weâve had years of being alone together. sleepovers, drunk nights, heartbreaks, traveling halfway across the world together, even staying at the same shitty hostel in germany. and nothing. not once. until last night, when we were drunk out of our minds. that doesnât scream fate, that screamsâŚaccident. thatâs it.â
renjun just leaned back further in his chair, crossing his arms like he had all the time in the world. his silence pressed harder than words, like he was waiting for yangyang to trip over his own defenses.
yangyangâs pulse spiked under it, so he filled it, his words tripping over each other, âand donât start with the whole âbut look at how she looks at youâ thing. she has a fuck buddy, jun. a fuck buddy. not me. if she really wanted me, why would she need someone else for that?â
âmaybe because itâs easy,â renjun replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world, âbecause itâs just sex. no strings. no danger of her heart being broken. sometimes a placeholder is easier than the one thing that actually scares the shit out of you.â
yangyang dragged his hands down his face, âthatâsâŚthatâs a stretch. you donât just wake up and suddenly realize youâre in love with your best friend. thatâs not how it works.â
renjun tilted his head, gaze steady, âor maybe thatâs exactly how it works. maybe she woke up one night and realized that love is the comfort and safety you bring her. and now sheâs too scared to ruin the one thing thatâs always been safe. people donât throw grenades into the only home they have unless theyâre desperate. and youâd rather pretend itâs not there than risk losing her.â
that hit closer than yangyang thought it would. his throat went dry, âgod, listen to how stupid this sounds. youâre making it into something itâs not. i just got out of a relationshipâŚwith your girlfriend, if youâve forgotten. iâm barely keeping my head above water as it is. and now youâre trying to tell me whatâ,â his head snapped up, frustration and panic bleeding together, âthat my best friendâs been secretly in love with me this whole time? that iâm too blind to see it?â
renjun shrugged, calm, unflinching, ânot blind, yang. maybe you were just too scared to acknowledge the obvious.â
yangyangâs laugh turned sharp, almost bitter, âyou hear yourself right now? you sound insane, jun,â yangyangâs chest rose and fell too fast, words spilling out like he couldnât stop them if he tried, âyou think you know everything huh? newsflashâ you donât. you werenât there.â
renjun leaned forward, elbows on his knees, tone maddeningly calm, âthen tell me what it was, yang. if it wasnât what iâm saying, then what was it?â
yangyang shot to his feet like the mattress burned him, âit was a mistake! thatâs all! two drunk idiots doing something they shouldnât have. nothing more. nothingââ he broke off, fists clenching at his sides.
renjun stood slowly, not in challenge but in quiet steadiness, like he knew raising his voice would only make yangyang spiral more, âyou keep saying nothing but your whole bodyâs screaming the opposite.â
yangyang let out a bitter laugh, shoving past him toward the door, needing air, needing escape, he had no idea why he thought coming here would help him, âyou donât know shit, jun. you donât know me anymore.â his hand tightened around the doorknob, ready to twist, to bolt, to drown himself in anything but this conversation. but then renjunâs voice came, lower this time, not calm in that detached way, but warm, gentle, almost like before everything between them went to shit.
âyang,â he said quietly, âiâm not saying this to fuck with you. iâm saying it because i care. and you can keep yelling, keep pretending it was just some drunk mistake but i know you. and i know the way youâre looking at me right now â like youâre terrified i might be right.â
yangyang froze. his throat worked, but no sound came out.
renjunâs steps were slow, careful, until he was standing just a few feet behind him, âiâm not trying to corner you, yang. i justâŚdonât want you to ruin something good because youâre too scared to call it what it is. you donât have to figure it out tonight. but the first step is being honest with yourself. donât run from it.â the words sank deep. yangyang swallowed hard, staring at the wood grain of the door like it could give him an answer. his grip on the knob loosened, fingers slipping away until his hand fell uselessly to his side. shoulders heavy, he let out a ragged breath, eyes burning with a frustration that wasnât just aimed at renjun anymore.
âi donâtâŚâ his voice cracked, softer now, breaking under its own weight, âi donât know what the fuck iâm doing.â
renjunâs expression softened even further, almost brotherly. âthatâs okay. you donât have to know yet. just⌠stop pretending you feel nothing. thatâs the only mistake here.â
yangyang shut his eyes, leaning his forehead briefly against the door, caught between every instinct to run and the quiet relief of not holding it all in alone anymore. slowly, almost reluctantly, he turned and came back. his legs carried him on instinct more than choice and he dropped back onto the bed. when he finally spoke, his voice was quieter, raw around the edges, âis this how scared you felt with love too?â
renjun exhaled, his chest deflating, âyeah, i was terrified. scared and guilty. every second i was with her, i knew i was hurting you. knew i was lying to myself, to you, to her. and the worst part? i couldnât stop. i thought if i buried it deep enough, it would go away.â
yangyang swallowed, the knot in his throat tightening. he hadnât expected renjun to answer like that â to sound so unguarded, so wrecked. he always thought he had the worst pain of the two.
âand it obviously didnât,â he says, softer now.
renjun shook his head slowly, âno. it only got worse. until i couldnât run from it anymore.â
for the first time that night, yangyang didnât have a sharp comeback waiting. he just sat there, silent, the weight of renjunâs words pressing down on the panic heâd been trying to outrun. slowly, he let his hands drop, fingers flexing uselessly against his knees. his throat bobbed once, twice, before he finally muttered, almost to himself, â...thanks.â
renjun blinked, surprised. âfor what?â
yangyangâs lips twisted, like the word itself was foreign to him. âfor not bullshitting me. for saying it straight. i needed that.â
â˘á´Ľâ˘
meanwhile in your apartment, you called the one person you were angry at. he showed up fast, still in sweats, hair messy like heâd just rolled off his couch. when you opened the door, he gave you a half smile, âtexting me, already?â
you cut him off, stepping aside, âthis isnât that. sit down.â
shotaroâs brows furrowed, but he obeyed, dropping onto your couch. you stayed standing, arms crossed tight.
âwhy the hell did you do it?â you snapped.
âdo what?â
âseven minutes in heaven! youâre the one who shoved that game on everyone, right? youâre the reason iââ your throat closed for a second, you forced the words out anyway, âthe reason i messed up with yangyang!â
shotaro blinked, taken aback. âwait. messed up howââ
âit doesnât matter!â you said quickly, cutting him off before the shame could choke you out, âwhat matters is you set it up like it was some kind of joke, and now everythingâs fucked!â your voice cracked, fury fraying into panic, âdo you get it? you ruined everything! you dick!â
shotaro leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, his eyes flicking up to you with something sharper than usual, âokay, first of all, donât put this all on me,â he said, voice firmer than youâd expected, âyou think i could control how you two were gonna act?â
your jaw tightened. âyou put us in that position.â
âand youâre acting like you didnât want it,â shotaro shot back, âcâmon, y/n. you and yangyang have been dancing around each other for years. everyone sees it. i thought maybeââ he stopped himself, shaking his head with a humorless laugh. âi thought maybe you two needed the push.â
your stomach dropped. âa push? you think what happened was some kind ofâof fate!? that you did us a favor!?â
âi think,â shotaro said carefully, âthat itâs about time you admit youâre in love with him. how long are you gonna keep this charade up for? are you going to be one of those sad best friends standing at his wedding acting like youâre fine? or what, when he has a wife and still runs to you when they have problems? are you gonna sit there and take it like you do now? how far in the future will you keep playing this up?â
shotaroâs words hung in the air. your hands flew up to cover your face, but it was useless â the sob slipped out anyway, sharp and raw. shotaro blinked when you suddenly broke, tears spilling hot and unrestrained down your cheeks. you shoved the heel of your palm against your eyes, but it only made it worse.
ây/nâŚâ he murmured, caught between surprise and worry.
you shook your head hard, voice cracking. âheâhe called it a mistake.â
shotaro straightened, frowning. âwhat was?â
your throat bobbed as you nodded, the words tumbling out messy, jagged, âweâwe hooked up. and for one second i thoughtâŚi thought maybe i wasnât insane for feeling the way i do. but then heââ your chest heaved, and you squeezed your eyes shut, ââhe said it was a mistake, like it didnât mean anything. like i donât mean anything.â
shotaroâs mouth opened, then closed again, as if he wasnât sure what to say. he only knew the edges of the truth â that youâd been crushing on yangyang for ages. that yangyang looked at you like you held the world in his hands but had no clue. that from the outside perspective, the two of you just made sense.
ây/n,â he said softly, âi donât think thatâs what he meant.â
a bitter laugh broke from you, watery and sharp, âyou werenât there.â
âno,â he agreed, voice gentle, âbut iâve seen the way he looks at you sometimes when he thinks no one notices. he wouldnât mean it in that way.â
you shook your head, shoulders trembling, âyou donât get it. iâm just his best friend! he made it very clear by walking out and leaving me here. and iâi ruined everything!â
shotaro hesitated, then shifted closer, pulling you into him. it wasnât romantic, not even close â it was messy, awkward, your tears dampening his shirt, his hand rubbing slow circles between your shoulder blades.
âyou didnât ruin anything,â he murmured, âheâs scared. or confused. or both. but you? youâre not wrong for feeling what you feel.â
your fingers clutched the fabric of his shirt like a lifeline, âit hurts so much.â
âi know,â he whispered, pressing his chin lightly against the top of your head, âcry it out. iâve got you.â and so you did, not because shotaro could fix it, not because he was the one you wanted, but because right then, he was the only one who wouldnât call you a mistake. your sobs had quieted into hiccups, your face pressed into shotaroâs chest, when he finally leaned back enough to look at you. his thumb brushed under your eye, catching the stray tear you missed.
âhey,â he said softly, his smile crooked, âyou want me to fuck the pain away?â
you let out a choked laugh despite yourself, smacking his chest weakly. âshotaroââ
âwhat?â he grinned, holding his hands up in mock innocence. âitâs my only real skill set here. shoulder to cry on, dick to distract you. comes in a package deal.â
you groaned, dragging your sleeve across your eyes, âgod, youâre annoying.â
âbut,â he leaned in, lowering his voice, âyouâre laughing.â you bit down on your lip, shaking your head â but yeah, a small laugh did slip out. a real one, even if it was laced with ache.
shotaro leaned back against the couch, satisfied, and slung an arm lazily around your shoulders, âsee? donât underestimate the healing power of bad humor and good dick. itâs science.â you exhaled, the laugh dying down into something quieter, smaller. for a moment you just stared at your knees, twisting the hem of your sleeve between your fingers. the ache swelled again in your chest â not as sharp, but heavy.
âshotaro?â you asked softly.
âyeah?â
your voice cracked a little. âcan you justâŚhold me? for a while?â
his teasing expression melted instantly. no hesitation, no jokes this time. âyeah. of course.â he shifted, tugging you gently into his chest again, this time lying back into the couch cushions so you could curl into him properly. his arm tightened around your waist, the other hand threading through your hair in slow, absent strokes. neither of you spoke after that. the last thing you felt was the steady rise and fall of his chest under your cheek before sleep pulled you under.
â˘á´Ľâ˘
yangyang stood outside your apartment door, knuckles pressed to the wood, rehearsing the words in his head. this is what you did. this is what youâd always done â you talked. about everything. about bad grades and breakups, about internships and homesickness. if the world felt like it was falling apart, somehow you always put it back together again, piece by piece.
so why should this be different?
he swallowed hard, finally twisting the knob and stepping inside. the lights were dim, your living room quiet. he opened his mouth, ready to call your name. and then he froze â you were curled up on the couch. not alone. shotaroâs arm was draped over you, your face tucked into his chest, his hand still resting protectively on your waist.
yangyangâs chest tightened, heat and cold colliding at once. how could you? how could you kiss him one night, strip away years of boundaries, make his heart pound so hard he thought itâd crack open⌠make him question everything he thought he knewâŚ.and then just⌠have another man in your arms?
jealousy flared sharp, ugly in his chest, tangling with something deeper he refused to name. possessiveness. hurt. and stupid, stupid him â for even letting renjunâs words take root earlier. because this? this was proof he was an idiot. an idiot who overthinks everything when it was all really just a mistake on your end too.
he lingered a second too long, his jaw tight, breath heavy in the silence of your apartment. then, he turned on his heel and let himself out. the door clicked softly behind him. and it was like heâd never been there at all. he didnât get far after leaving your apartment. just down the block, just far enough that your building wasnât in sight anymore, before the weight of what heâd seen stopped him cold. his heart was still pounding, not with the same anger as before, no, this was worse â jagged and hollow at once, like his chest was caving in from the inside.
you were his best friend. his safe place. the one person he thought he didnât have to question. and yet seeing you in someone elseâs arms had gutted him in a way he couldnât explain. youâd had boyfriends before and it never affected him like this. so it shouldnât matter. it doesnât matter. you werenât his. he was the one who called what happened between you a mistake. he was the one who said it didnât mean anything. but why did it feel like the ground had been ripped out from under him?
he shoved his hands into his pockets, pacing under the yellow streetlight, muttering under his breath, âfuck, why does thisâ why do i care?â the answer pressed against his ribs, sharp and undeniable. he couldnât stand the thought of anyone else touching you, holding you, making you laugh when you cried.renjunâs voice echoed in his head, steady and infuriatingly right: youâd rather pretend itâs not there than risk losing her. yangyang laughed once, harsh and humorless, dragging his hands over his face.
âgoddamn it.â
𧸠SEPTEMBER 29 - TUESDAY - PRETENDING.
you slid into your usual seat, dropping your bag with a practiced little thud. same class, same canvas, same setup as every other tuesday morning. nothing had changed â at least, thatâs what you told yourself as you pasted on that easy smile, greeting the professor, nodding at classmates, settling in like you werenât suffocating behind the mask.
yangyang was already there, hunched forward, brush spinning idly between his fingers. the second you sat down beside him, the air shifted. a crackle. a hum in your chest. too much silence where there shouldâve been jokes, shoulder nudges, shared smiles. itâs the first time youâre seeing him since that mistake.
âmorning,â you manage to force out, light and casual.
he glanced up, eyes shadowed, lips pressing into something that wasnât quite a smile, âmorning,â his voice was low, hoarse, like he hadnât used it all day.
you busied yourself with your palette, clinking glass jars, swirling water, anything to fill the silence. normally this was when yangyang would lean into your space, make some dumb comment about your color choices or brush his knee against yours without noticing. but today? he sat stiff, shoulders square, every moment careful like even breathing too close to you would give him away.
from across the table, renjunâs sharp gaze flicked between the two of you. he clocked the half-inch of space between your chairs that felt like a canyon. the way your laugh at someone elseâs joke rang a little too bright, a little too forced. the way yangyang kept staring at his canvas but hadnât laid down a single stroke of paint. at one point, yangyang risked a glance at you, just a quick flicker, like he couldnât help himself, and renjun caught it. their eyes locked across the table. renjun tilted his head, gaze steady, saying without wordsâ you see it now, donât you?
yangyangâs jaw tensed. he shook his head almost imperceptibly, mouthing a tight âshut up.â
you heard him. of course you did. even when you were pretending not to pay attention to him, you were. you turned your head, âwhat?â
renjun arched a brow, lips curving. yangyang tore his eyes away from him, looking straight at you for the first time since that night, ân-nothing, i didnât say anything.â you nod, not having the energy to push further, before busying yourself with your sketchpad. beside him, you kept painting, keeping your mask intact. pretending this was just another tuesday. pretending you didnât feel your pulse spike every time his knee shifted under the desk. pretending his silence didnât ache more than words ever could. and yangyang â stiff in his chair, heart hammering against his ribs, was the only one who can tell you werenât fine.
class went on with the two of you dancing around each other, pretending everything was still the same. pretending you havenât crossed a line. pretending the mistake was clearly just a mistake. until the clatter of chairs and zip of bags signaled the end of class. everyone filtered out, voices rising as plans for lunch and errands filled the air. you slipped into rhythm, packing up calmly, masking every motion as ordinary. yangyang moved slower. he lingered, dragging out the task of rinsing his brushes, watching the water swirl down the jar until it was nearly clear. he told himself he wasnât waiting. that it didnât matter. that he didnât care if you left first. but when you stood, slinging your bag over your shoulder and offering him the same easy smile you gave everyone else, his chest tightened.
âsee you later,â you said lightly, voice steady. too steady. he didnât like it. his tongue pressed against the back of his teeth, words gathering, hot and restless â donât leave like that. donât act like nothing happened.
but what right did he have to say that? when he was the one who walked out of your bedroom? when he was the one who left you alone?
your back was already half-turned toward the door when his hand twitched against his side. just one word and youâd stop. he hesitated. and then you were gone. your laughter echoed down the hallway as you joined a group of classmates, the sound bright and hollow in yangyangâs ears. he stood frozen, breath shallow, watching the doorway long after youâd disappeared. his chest ached with something he didnât want to name. but the truth had already lodged itself in his ribs, sharp and undeniable â he didnât want to be the guy who shrugged it off as a mistake anymore.
𧸠SEPTEMBER 30 - WEDNESDAY - WEâRE OKAY, RIGHT?
at this point it had been three days of quiet war, not exactly the silent treatment but somehow worse it was smiling too bright and saying nothing at all.
you heard the code of your door being entered from where you sat on your couch reading a book and knew that it was only ever going to be yangyang. he stumbled inside like the floor might fall out from under him if he didnât move fast enough. his eyes were wild, glassy with something that looked dangerously close to panic.
âdude, are you okay?,â you asked automatically, because thatâs what you always did, check in, make the space softer. your book stayed open on your knee, pages unread.
âdonâtââ his voice came out raw, cracked, a different timbre than youâd heard from him in a while. he pointed, unsteady, as if directing the whole world at you. âdonât act like this. not with me.â
you blinked, âwhat are you talking about?â you tried to keep it light, because light was your defense and youâd worn it like armor for years.
âthat mask!â he ran a hand through his hair so hard it tugged at his scalp. frustration and something else, fear, maybe, flickered across his face. âthe smile. the pretending everythingâs fine. itâs annoying. i can see it. if youâre mad at me, then yell at me. say it.â
your throat went tight. the words caught somewhere between your lungs and lips. you wanted to ask him what right he had â what right he had to notice, when he never did before? but he was still talking, unraveling, in a way that left him exposed.
âyou think i dont know you?â his chest rose and fell fast, his voice raw, âi know when youâre hurting. i can hear it when you laugh too loud. i can see it in your eyes when you wonât look at me for more than two seconds. donât pull that shit with me, okay? not with me.â he looked wrecked standing there in your living room. like every piece of him was strung too tight.
your mouth opened but only a weak laugh came out, shaky at the edges. you werenât ready for this. âyouâre being dramatic. iâm fine, yangyang, really.âyou crossed your arms because you didnât know what else to do. the shrug felt automatic, the same little lie that had kept you safe for years, âitâs not that deep. like you said, it was just a mistake.â
his eyes didnât move. they searched yours like heâd been practicing for this moment and somehow never learned restraint. and then, giving up whatever defense heâd planned, he exhaled like someone letting go of a boulder.
âi donât want to lose you!â he said, the words tumbling out all at once. ânot over something as stupid as this. not over one drunk night. youâreââ his breath hitched, his voice thinned to a fragile thread, âyouâre my best friend. the only one thatâs everâŚfelt like home. i canât lose that. i canât lose you.â the sentence landed like thunder. you felt it in your ribs, in the place that had been hollow for what felt like forever. it cracked something inside you. something older than the night before, older than the mask. you didnât plan your next move â your arms slid around him before thought could get in the way, fingers folding against the fabric of his hoodie. he went rigid, like youâd startled a wild animal, then softened and wrapped himself around you as fiercely as you held him.
if there was one thing you hated more than being miserable, it was watching your best friend hurt.
you buried your face into his shoulder, breath hitching, âwho said anything about losing me?â you whispered, the lie catching on the edges, âi told youâyouâre stuck with me, dummy.â
yangyang shook his head, as if to dislodge the panic. his grip tightened so hard your hoodie scrunched under his fingers, ââbut we were so awkward yesterday. i hated that.â the simple confession sounded like guilt and regret all mixed together.
you tried to bring the air back to something familiar. âi mean, i did see your dick for the first time, of course itâs awkward,â you teased, voice laced in the old, easy banter youâd always used to glue things back together.
that broke through his storm for just a beat. yangyang choked on a cough, half-scandalized, half trying not to laugh. his ears went a little red. âwow,â he muttered, pulling back just enough to look at you, âout of all the things you could say to lighten the mood, you went with my dick? thatâs your angle?â
you grinned, relieved by the flicker of normalcy, âwell, it was⌠memorable.â
âmemorable?â his brows shot up, eyes narrowing with mock offense. âthatâs it? not impressive? not life-altering? just memorable?â
you let out a snort, pushing his shoulder, âdonât get cocky.â
âtoo late,â he shot back without missing a beat, smirk tugging at his lips. âyou literally just admitted you canât forget it.â
your jaw dropped in mock horror, a laugh bubbling up despite yourself, âthatâs not what i said!â
âclose enough.â he leaned back, smugness flickering in his expression for the first time in days, like heâd been starving for this push-pull rhythm. his smirk softened into something gentler, tentative. âsoâŚweâre okay?âŚright?â
you inhaled, wrapping your arms around him again, âyeah. weâre okay.â the words felt both true and dangerously partial. you nodded harder against him, because movement made the pretense feel more real.
neither of you moved to let go. the hug stretched, elastic and fragile, holding whatever fragile normalcy you could manufacture. you both clung like people whoâd decided, with your last breath, to keep pretending a little longer â because the alternative was saying things that might not be fixable. when you finally pulled back, you practiced a small, careful smile, one with cracks patched over. yangyang mirrored it, softer, equally false. nothing more was said. nothing more was allowed to slip. the moment sealed itself â not healed, not whole, but held. for now, that would have to be enough.
𧸠OCTOBER 2 - FRIDAY - WHY DONâT YOU EVER SEE ME?
yangyang let himself in like he always did, the soft click of your door sounding too familiar. you two were okay now, the loose, careful kind of okay youâve both been practicing, and heâd told himself he couldnât ask for anything more. that thinking didnât survive the second he stepped into your apartment â you appeared in the hallway, towel wrapped loosely around your body, wet hair dripping down your shoulders. droplets clung at the hollow of your throat and mapped a glittering path across your collarbone before escaping down the slope of your chest. he felt his breath hitch so hard it hurt.
âgod,â you muttered, rolling your eyes as you padded back towards your bedroom, âi really need to change my code.â
he forced a laugh, leaning against the arm of the couch and pretending his throat wasnât suddenly dry. maybe he shouldnât keep coming in like this without knocking. maybe he needed to stop walking into moments that felt like traps. he told himself all of it while watching you move, trying to be reasonable in the face of the unreasonable. he dropped onto the couch and tried to make himself small, bouncing one leg restlessly, telling himself it was nothing. youâd just showered. heâd seen you in less and been fine before. he could be fine now. heâs not a kid. then he heard the closet door murmur, the zip of fabric, and your bedroom door creak â you stepped out and he swore he forgot how to breathe.
you were in the dress youâd found in that online shop youâd texted him about last month â red. the exact shade that made everything else mute by comparison. the fabric hugged the small of your back, smoothed over the slope of your hips, outlined the line of your thighs where it hugged just so. you turned, bare back exposed, the zipper dangling like an invitation, âcan you zip me up?â you asked, voice casual as if you were asking the time.
he moved before he thought. his fingers brushed the metal at the base of your spine, and a small, private electricity sparked between them. for a beat his world narrowed to the warmth of your skin, the soft damp left by your shower, the tiny pulse at the base of your neck. he pulled the zipper up carefully, his hand pausing on the small of your back, thumb resting on the curve of your waist as if he could steady both the zipper and himself at once. it clicked to the top. he stayed there, fingers pressed to the red material, as if reluctant to let go. âthere,â he said too softly.
âthanks,â you whispered, turning slightly to face him, practicing that easy smile heâd seen a thousand times.
âwhere the hell are you going like that?â he asked before he could stop himself. his voice came out sharper than he intended, half-joking, half-accusatory, and he immediately cursed at the tone.
you raised a brow, grabbing your tiny gold hoop earrings from the coffee table, âout.â
âout,â he repeated, like the word tasted wrong in his mouth, âout where?â
you smiled, too casually, too practiced, as you fastened the earrings, âon a date.â
the answer landed like a stone on his chest, heavy and unmovable. his jaw flexed but he leaned back on the couch, feigning disinterest with a lazy shrug, âcool.â
you bent toward the mirror in the middle of your bedroom and bathroom door, sliding lipstick over your mouth. yangyangâs eyes followed the motion like he had no control over them, heat crawling up his neck, âseriously,â he muttered, picking at a loose thread on his hoodie sleeve to hide his nevers, âyouâre just gonna walk out looking like that?â
âlike what?â you asked, tone light, almost mocking.
âlikeâ,â his throat closed on the words â like you belong to somebody else. like youâre about to go love someone that isnât him. like youâre about to ruin me. â âlike youâre trying too hard.â
you shot him a sidelong glance, fastening the strap on your ankle, âthatâs kind of the point, yang. itâs a date, not game night.â
he scoffed, leaning further back into the couch, arms crossed like a shield, âjust saying, you donât need to go all out. if the guyâs worth anything, heâd like you without,â he gestured vaguely at your dress, your hair, your lipstick and hated how bitter it came out, â...all that.â
you rolled your eyes, walking back into your bathroom to dry your hair, âgee, thanks, dad.â
and when you moved, he couldnât help it â his gaze followed. the curve of your waist as you bent, the soft skin of your shoulders where the dress stopped, the soft throat where your pulse beat â felt suddenly like an unfair claim heâd had no right to know was there. you were slipping further away from him with every step. and he hated how much it bothered him.
you were in the bathroom, halfway through smoothing the last of your hair when he stepped up to lean on the doorway, watching you with something that tried to be casual and failed, âso,â he said, voice taut, âwhoâs this guy anyway?â
you didnât look up from the mirror, âshotaro.â
the name cracked him open. yangyang straightened like heâd been struck. âshotaro?â he repeated, disbelief sharp in his tone. âi thought you two were just fucking.â
you finally turned, one brow arched, âwe are. doesnât mean we canât go out for drinks.â
his laugh died in his throat, replaced by something heavier, âright. just drinks.â he muttered, every word wrapped in a film of something that couldâve been hurt if you looked close enough.
you brushed past him, grabbing your heels and bending over to buckle your heel, âwhy do you care so much?â
âi donât.â the answer was too quick, too defensive. his arms crossed tighter over his chest, but his jaw was locked, breath shallow, âitâs justâyou donât go on dates with fuck buddies, that complicates things.â
you gave him a dry smile as you reached for your bag, ânot everyone overcomplicates things the way you do, yang.â you slung your bag over your shoulder, gave your reflection one last glance and headed for the door. yangyang hadnât moved from the wall, though every line of his body was wound tight like a coiled spring. your hand hovered on the doorknob, âyouâre welcome to stay, lock up if you leave.â
he didnât answer. just watched you with something unreadable burning in his eyes. you forced a little smile, as if this was normal, as if you werenât both suffocating under everything unsaid and then you slipped out into the hall. he watched you go. the door clicked shut. the apartment slipped into silence.
yangyang stared at the empty space youâd just left behind, abruptly pacing, running hand through his hair over and over like it could scrape out the image of you in that dress. his chest ached, sharp and unfamiliar. jealousy bloomed â ugly, raw, gnawing with a possessiveness he had no right to feel.
âgod, get a grip, sheâs just your best friend,â he muttered, but his reflection in the darkened t.v. screen looked back at him with wide, haunted eyes. because now he knew. now he knew exactly what renjun meant. and it terrified him. he paced another circle through your apartment before his steps slowed outside your bedroom door. the air felt heavier in here, familiar in a way that made his chest ache. the last time he was in here you were doing things best friends definitely werenât supposed to be doing. looking at your bed made the memory flash so hard he had to look away. his gaze landed instead on the stuffed bear propped up against your pillows.
yangyang let out shaky laugh, dragging a hand over his face as he sat on the edge of your bed, he picked up the bear, holding it loosely in his lap, âhey, mr. bear,â he muttered, voice low, rough, half a joke and half not, âlong time no talk.â the bearâs stitched smile was the stupidest comfort â unchanging, honest in a way people werenât. he turned the plush in his hands, felt the seam under his thumbs. he pressed the fur to his cheek because it smelled faintly of you, laundry detergent and something softer heâd never been able to name, and it made his throat close. ââa date,â he said to the bear, and the words went sour in his mouth. âcan you believe her?âŚshotaro.â the name tasted like something heâd swallowed and couldnât cough up. he pictured you across a table, your mouth moving, your laugh, that ridiculous lipstick. his stomach clenched. his grip tightened on the bearâs paw. ârenjunâs wrong, you know. he has to be. because if heâs right, thenâŚâ his words faltered, throat burning. âthen iâm in trouble.â
silence. the bear didnât argue. yangyang shook his head, forcing a laugh that cracked halfway, âi canât lose her, not over something as easily changeable as feelings.â
still no answer. just the bearâs stitched grin. yangyang slumped back against your pillows, hugging it to his chest like it could keep the truth out, âdonât look at me like that,â he muttered. âi donât⌠i donât love herâŚnot like that.â
the sentence felt thin in his mouth. he ran his thumb along the bearâs paw, counting excuses. maybe it was the way youâd always been close. maybe boundaries blurred in late-night conversations, in shared hostels and stupid internships. people get attached, that didnât mean they were in love. people mixed up comfort for something else all the time. but an inconvenient thought slid in and refused to leave. when had he last wanted someone else to hold you? when had the idea of another person making you laugh not made his stomach drop?
heâd made a habit of noticing you â cataloguing little things like a map. the way you tucked your hair behind your ear when you were thinking, the exact tilt of your smile. the way your breathing is naturally synchronized with his when he has you wrapped in his arms.
knowing, he kept telling himself, didnât mean anything. it was just being close, like knowing the fastest routes across campus, harmless â but even he didnât believe that. because the more he came up with excuses, the more he realizes he doesnât know who heâs trying to convince.
his throat tightened until it hurt, and the laugh that clawed out of him was broken, shaky. âfuck,â he whispered, pressing the bear tighter against his chest, forehead dropping against its soft head, âfuck, i think iâm in trouble.â
the words sat there, heavy and terrifying. his heart thudded so loud it almost drowned them out, but not enough to erase them. he let out a breath that trembled all the way through him, closing his eyes, clutching mr. bear like the plush might hold him together, âyou always were horrible at giving advice,â he told him, half-smiling despite the ache ripping through his chest, âbut you keep secrets. you listen when no one else will.â
â˘á´Ľâ˘
the bar was loud, packed with music and chatter, but you couldnât shake the itch of yangyangâs voice still stuck in your head from earlier. you sat across from shotaro at a little round table tucked into the corner. he looked smugly perfect in his button-up and blazer, his easy smile drawing attention from every direction. but the truth was, this wasnât a date. not really.
âthanks for coming,â he said, leaning closer so you could hear him over the noise, âi justâŚdidnât want to show up solo, like a loser, you know?â
you arched a brow, sipping your drink, âwell, i do owe you one for letting me cry in your arms.â
he grinned, unbothered, âyou look hot by the way.âyou laughed, rolling your eyes. you werenât here to play pretend with shotaro. you werenât even here because you wanted to be. you were here because you couldnât stand the thought of sitting at home, replaying the feel of yangyangâs hands, yangyangâs words, yangyangâs silence.
shotaro leaned back in his chair, studying you for a beat, âyouâre somewhere else,â he said finally, soft but true.
your throat tightened, you forced a smile, swirling the liquid in your glass, âiâm here. with you.â but even as you said it, you both knew it wasnât true.
the drinks kept coming. one minute it was a whiskey sour, the next a round of tequila shots someone ordered for the whole table, and before you knew it, your head was warm and spinning, your laughter bubbling too easily. shotaro leaned in, whispering in your ear, âyouâre a lightweight, admit it.â
you squintied at him through the rim of your glass, nose scrunching, "i'm notâ,â you hiccuped mid-sentence and slapped your hand over your mouth, âokay. maybe a little.â
he cracked up that bright, boyish laugh of his, drawing a few curious stares, âyouâre adorable when youâre tipsy. donât tell anyone i said that.â
âtoo late,â you pointed at him dramatically, though your finger wobbled with your balance, âiâm telling everyone. yangyang willââ you cut yourself off too quickly. the name had slipped out before you could stop it. your stomach dipped. shotaro tilted his head, teasing, but didnât press. instead, he lifted his glass, saving you from your own slip, âto bad ideas,â he said.
you clunked clumsily against his, âto bad ideas.âfrom there, the night blurred into easy laughter and stupid dares. you convinced shotaro to try and balance on the barstool and he nearly toppled straight into the ground. he got revenge by dragging you onto the dance floor, where your limbs were looser than your coordination, the both of you laughing so hard you could barely keep upright. somewhere in the haze, the ache in your chest dulled. shotaro was fun. simple. no feelings involved. the more you drank, the easier it was to forget why you were here in the first place. the easier it was to pretend the image of yangyang in your apartment, jaw clenched and eyes dark, wasnât still burned into the back of your mind. by the time the night wound down, you were clinging into shotaroâs arm, giggling as he half-carried, half-guided you out of the bar.
âyouâre a mess,â he teased, shaking his head, âletâs get you home.â
â˘á´Ľâ˘
shotaro steadied you against the doorframe, your fingers fumbling uselessly against the keypad. every time you punched in the numbers, it beeped angrily, red light flashing. you groaned, pressing your forehead to the cold metal, âwhy wonât it love meee?â you slurred, giggling.
âmaybe because you put 1-0-1-0 three times,â shotaro deadpanned, biting back a grin.
you swayed towards him, whispering conspiratorially, âthatâs yangyangâs birthday,â then you laughed like it was the funniest secret in the world. before shotaro could respond, the door snapped open from the inside. yangyang stood framed in the doorway, hair mussed like heâd run his hands through it a hundred times, hoodie hanging loose on his frame. his eyes flicked from your drunken smile straight to shotaroâs steady hand on your arm.
you lit up instantly, arms flying around his neck, âYANG!â you sang, voice too loud, too bright, too happy. you pressed your cheek against his shoulder, giggling like a child. yangyang froze under your touch, breath hitching as your perfume and the warmth of your damp skin from earlier hit him all at once. his arms stayed stiff at his sides for a beat too long before one slid around your waist to steady you before you collapsed. he lifted his gaze over your head, locking on shotaro. his voice was low, sharp, even though he tried to keep it casual, âi got it from here.â
shotaro looked at the two of you â your arms wrapped around yangayng, his hand gripping your waist, and shrugged, unbothered as ever, âyeah, yeah,â he smirked, stepping back with a wave, âgoodnight.â
yangyang didnât wait for shotaro to disappear fully down the hall before tugging you gently inside. he shut the door behind you with a click that sounded too loud in the quiet apartment. you clung tighter around his neck, giggling as he carried you toward your bedroom. he got you into your room and sat you down on the edge of your bed, crouching in front of you to unbuckle your heels as he slid the straps off and tugged the shoes away.
âyouâre a mess,â he muttered, but his voice was softer than the words.
you leaned forward until your forehead rest against his shoulder, giggling, âbut iâm your mess.â
his chest tightened but he ignored it, tugging gently at your wrist, âcome on, teddy. letâs get you out of this thing.â he reached for the zipper at your back, careful, slow, trying not to notice the way the red fabric peeled away from your skin under his fingers. you tilted your head toward him, âyangyang,â you whispered, playful but dreamy, âyouâre undressing me.â
his hands froze, âdonât say it like that,â he muttered, trying not to combust, âim justâhelping.â you hummed, unconvinced, swaying closer as he eased the dressed down your body. he kept his eyes anywhere but your bare skin, swallowing hard as the fabric slipped lower until it pooled on the floor, leaving you in your underwear. he didnât linger, he grabbed one of your oversized t-shirts from your dresser, which looked a lot like the t-shirt heâs been missing for weeks, and gently pulled it over your head.
âthere. done.â he exhaled like heâd just run a marathon. he guided you to lie back against the pillows, tucking the blanket over your legs. when he sat at the edge, reaching for the makeup wipes on your vanity, you squinted up at him through heavy lashes.
âstay still.â he instructed. you wriggled anyway, just to be difficult, lips curling into a mischievous grin. but the second his hand cupped your jaw, thumb brushing softly as he wiped away your lipstick, you went quiet, melting into the warmth of his touch.
the silence stretched until his voice came, quieter this time, careful, âsoâŚhow was your date?â
you smiled, eyes closing as you leaned into his palm, âit was soooo fun,â you sighed, cheeks flushed, âshotaroâs funny. he made me laugh a lot.â
the words scraped against his chest but he swallowed them down, âyeah?â
âmmhm, butâŚ,â your lashes fluttered as you peeked up at him, tipsy and unfiltered, âi wish you were there.â
his hand stilled mid-wipe. for a second, all he could do was stare at you â at the way your drunken pout tugged at his heart, at the little hiccup that slipped through your words, at the way your hand wrapped softly around his wrist. his throat went dry. he could feel the words crawling up the back of his tongue, the things he shouldnât say, things he wasnât even sure of yet, but all that came out was a rough, âyouâre drunk.â he forced his hand to move again, swiping gently at your eyeliner, pretending he didnât feel your confession sinking into his chest like a hook.
âwhy donât you ever see me?â
the words slipped out slurred and soft, dangerous in their honesty. you blinked up at him from under heavy lashes, a little tipsy smile tugging at your lips like you hadnât even realized what youâd said. yangyangâs head snapped up so fast the motion jolted him. for a beat he simply stared at you, breath gone, âsee you?â his voice came out quieter than he wanted, âwhat the hell does that mean? i see you every day.â
you let out a tiny hiccup that dissolved into sad, hiccupy laugh, ânot like that,â you mumbled, eyes glassy, âyou justââ your brow furrowed, the words slipping, stalling, before alcohol gave you a shove, âyou only ever see your best friend. never me.â
the apartment folded into silence. the fan hummed somewhere, the fridge buzzed. everything felt too loud and too small at once. your lips wobbled into another hiccupy laugh, but this one was sharp with the sting of unshed tears, âwhyâd you call me a mistake?â
the question hung there, fragile and heavy all at once. you didnât throw it like an accusation, didnât spit it out with anger. you said it like an ache you hadnât been able to bury, like a wound that had festered quietly in the dark until it spilled over.
yangyangâs chest seized so tight it hurt to breathe. he shook his head fast, desperate, like maybe if he shook hard enough the regret would come loose, âiâ,â his voice cracked on the first breath, a broken sound that burned his throat, âgod, i didnât mean-âbut you were already slipping, lashes sinking, your body curling inward under the blanket as if retreating into yourself. the alcohol had won, pulling you under just as the words had escaped.
and maybe that was the cruellest part â that your truth had finally spilled out when you were too drunk to hold it, and he was left with his regret alone. yangyang sank down onto the floor beside your bed, elbows digging into his knees, hands clasped so tight his knuckles went white. he stared at you through the dim light, your breathing uneven but soft, the blanket rising and falling gently with each inhale.
âi didnât mean it,â he whispered, words caught in the quiet hum of the room. his voice broke on the edges, too fragile to hold, âi never meant it.â
𧸠OCTOBER 3 - SATURDAY - HAS IT ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THIS?
you woke up with your skull pounding, only to find a glass of water and a pack of pain relievers on your nightstand. suspicious. very suspicious. dragging yourself out of bed, you shuffled out of your bedroom, following the faint sound of pots clinking. when you peeked into your kitchen, yangyang was hunched over the stove, stirring something with more concentration than heâd ever given any of his classes.
âwhat did you break?â you croaked from the doorway.
he was startled so hard the ladle nearly flew out of his hand, âhuh? i didnât break anything,â he said, a little confused by your question.
you narrowed your eyes and walked up behind him, slipping your arms around his waist in a lazy back hug, chin landing on his shoulder, âthen why are you acting like a househusband right now?â
usually, he wouldâve shot back with something dumb but this time he just froze. because your body was warm against his back, your breath brushing his neck and suddenly his pulse was thunderous. he gripped the ladle tighter like it could anchor him. âuhâŚ,â he said brilliantly, staring very hard at the ramen, âbecauseâŚiâm nice?â
you snorted against his shoulder, voice muffled, âliar. youâre only nice when you want something or when you did something. did you clog the toilet? spill on the couch? scratch my switch again?â
âthat was one time!,â he protested, voice cracking, âand i told youâŚyour joy con was already peeling.âyou squeezed him tighter, laughing, which only made his heart beat harder. usually hugs between you two were nothing â habit, background noise in your friendship. but now it felt like he was hyper-aware of everything. the way your fingers fidgeted against his hoodie, the weight of your chin on his shoulder, the soft sway of your body pressed to his. desperate to distract himself, he tapped the spoon against the pot, âdonât distract the chef, iâm doing very important work here.â
you hummed, still clinging to him, âpretty sure boiling instant ramen isnât a michelin star situation.â
âhow dare you?â he teased though his ears were burning. after a couple more minutes, yangyang plopped the steaming bowls onto the table with an exaggerated flourish, âbreakfast is served. please, try not to cry from how amazing it is.â
you looked up from your chair and gave him a skeptical look, âwow. gordon ramsay better watch his back.â
âexactly,â he said with a grin, sliding into the chair right next to you instead of across like he normally did, âyou get it.â you snorted into your noodles. it was definitely the best hungover remedy. and when you slurped too fast and ended up coughing, he was already sliding the glass of water toward you, murmuring, âslow down, teddy,â with a softness that made your chest squeeze.
you nudged his shoulder with yours, âyouâre being weirdly sweet today.â
âweirdly?â he raised a brow, âiâm always sweet.â you laughed, shaking your head and for a second his gaze lingered on you too long, his grin softening into something he quickly masked by shoving a mouthful of noodles into his face.
after a stretch of comfortable slurping silence, you set your chopsticks down and tilted your head at him, âby the way, your birthdayâs in like, seven days, what do you want to do?â
he chewed slowly, stalling, before mumbling, âi donât know, maybe we could just rent an airbnb and celebrate like we do every year.â
you paused, blinking, âuhâŚwe usually do that with renjun and them.â
yangyang nodded, sipping his broth, âyeah, so?â
you leaned back, eyeing him, âsoâŚare you okay with inviting renjun this year?â
âyeah, weâre okay now,â he said simply, chopsticks tapping against the edge of his bowl.
your brow arched, âsince when?â
he froze mid-slurp, eyes darting anywhere but you, â...since recently.â
âuh-huh, thatâs specific,â you teased, leaning in, clearly not letting him off that easy.
his lips twitched, fighting a smile, âdrop it. eat your noodles before they get soggy.â but his ears were pink and you knew youâd hit something he wasnât ready to explain yet.
â˘á´Ľâ˘
the ramen was gone, the bowls stacked in the sink and the two of you ended up exactly where you always did â sprawled on the couch. your legs tangled, his arm thrown lazily around you, your head pillowed against his chest. it was nothing new. this was normal. routine. but yangyang couldnât stop noticing how right it felt. the weight of you against him. the way your hair tickled his chin when you shifted. the soft, unconscious hum you let out when you finally settled, like his arms were the only place you could relax. he stared at the t.v. playing teen wolf but he wasnât absorbing any of it. his focus was on the way his arm curved so easily around your shoulders like it was molded for you. the way his hand rested against your side like it had always belonged there â had it always been like this? had you always fit this perfectly against him? how is it that he was just now realizing it?
your hand absently toyed with the hem of his hoodie, fingers brushing the fabric and he swore his heart stuttered. you let out a soft laugh at some random line stiles stilinski blurted out, your body shaking lightly against him and yangyangâs chest tightened all over again. he didnât move. didnât dare. he just held you a little closer, silently wondering when the ordinary started to feel extraordinary.
your phone buzzed from your coffee table. you shifted just enough to reach it, screen lighting up with shotaroâs name. yangyangâs arm tightened instinctively around you before he could stop himself. his eyes dropped, catching the stupid little smile tugging at your lips as you unlocked the screen.
âwhatâs so funny?,â he asked, casual on the surface but his voice had a sharper edge than usual. you tilted your head toward him, showing him the message without thinking:
shotaro: did you recover from last night?
shotaro: or should i fall off another bar stool to make you feel better?
you giggled, typing something back, âheâs so funny,â you mumbled, thumb flying across the screen. yangyangâs jaw clenched so tight it ached. funny. right. so nice he makes you laugh like that. his chest burned with it, a jealousy that felt too raw to admit out loud. he forced a laugh, nudging you lightly in the side, âwow, look at you, miss popular. am i supposed to get in line behind shotaro now?â
you snorted, tossing your phone back on the coffee table and leaning your weight into him again, oblivious to the storm brewing in his chest, âdonât be dramatic. youâre first in line. always.â
that should have soothed him. should have. but the words only lodged deeper, because at the end of the day he knew shotaro could hold you in ways he couldnât. could touch you in ways best friends shouldnât. and yangyang hated how much the word best friend was starting to sound like a prison.
eventually, your weight softened against him, breath evening out as you drifted off to sleep. he felt the exact moment your lashes fluttered closed and your body surrendered fully into his chest. yangyang stared at the ceiling, trying to quiet the noise in his head. but it was impossible with your cheek pressed over his heartbeat, with your hand curled loosely against his hoodie like you had been doing it forever, which you have. he told himself it was just comfort. that this was what best friends did. you fell asleep on him all the time after late-night movies or long days. but something about tonightâŚabout the way shotaroâs name lit up your phone, about how heâd felt a sharp, irrational sting in his chest just seeing it â made everything sharper. he exhaled slowly, his fingers absently brushing along your arm, realizing how silence felt less like emptiness and more like home with you filling it. the thought scared him. because if he let himself believe, it, he wasnât sure he could ever go back. so he lay there, still and quiet, letting you sleep while his mind circled the same truth he wasnât ready to admit even to himself.
𧸠OCTOBER 4-9 - SUNDAY-FRIDAY - REALIZATIONS.
the next day, you both swore off productivity, ordering greasy takeout and eating cross-legged on the living room floor because it was way more comfortable than your table. you told some ridiculous story â hands waving, face animated. yangyang laughed so hard he nearly choked on his fried rice. then he noticed how easily the sleeves of his hoodie swallowed your hands, how you leaned across the cartons to swat his chopsticks away from stealing another bite. the moment stretched too long. his chest tightened.
on monday, you dragged him for ice cream at the convenience store right after class. you bickered about flavors, your hand brushing his when you both reached for the same one. he laughed it off like always but his skin buzzed where your fingered grazed. later, when you leaned against his shoulder on the way back, arm linked around, spooning bites from your cup into his mouth without think, he had to swallow twice â once for the ice cream, once for the realization that he wanted this forever.
on tuesday in painting ii. you took your usual seats. you dipped your brush, tongue poking at the corner of your lips as you concentrated. yangyang tried to focus on his own canvas but every few minutes he caught himself staring instead â at the slope of your nose, the way your hair slipped loose and you absentmindedly tucking it behind your ear. you had called him out on it with a simple, âwhy are you staring at me?â his ears burned, he covered it with a scoff, dragging his brush harder than necessary, âplease, iâm just laughing at how seriously youâre taking this.â but when you leaned over suddenly to dab a streak of blue onto his canvas, laughing when he gasped, yangyang swore your laughter made his heart stop.
on wednesday, you spent the evening sprawled in your living room, controllers in hand, locked in a mario kart bottle, âstop pushing me off the track!â you yelped, shoving his shoulder. yangyang grinned, not taking his eyes off the screen, âitâs called strategy, teddy.â the nickname he used all the came out sweeter, softer. you groaned dramatically as his kart sped past yours on the final lap, âyou cheated!â he laughed but when you pouted, he wondered why winning a mario kart game suddenly felt like a loss.
on thursday, you were stretched out on your bed when he walked in, laptop open, calendar pulled up. he tossed himself onto the bed behind you, phone in hand, mr. bear in the other.
without looking up, you said casually, âi booked the airbnb for your birthday weekend.â
his head popped up âalready?â
you hummed, still typing, âyeah, same spot as last year. i figured itâd be easier to just stick with what we know.â you glanced back at him with a small smile, âi invited our usual crew â xiaojun, hendery, ningning, renjun andâŚuhâŚthe new addition, love,â you said her name carefully, like testing the weight of it. he used to flinch at the mention or brush it off too quickly like he didnât want to deal with it. but tonight, yangyang just blinked, nodding.
âyeah, cool,â he said. no hesitation. no shift in his expression. just easy, even.
you narrowed your eyes, turning fully to face him, âwait, thatâs it? no sarcastic comments, no sighing, no complaints?â
yangyang smirked, shrugging lazily, âwhat do you want me to say? iâm over it.â
âover it?â you echoed, skeptical.
âover it.â he repeated, getting more comfortable in your pillows. you stared at him for a moment, like you were trying to read between his words. he only stretched out more, feigning nonchalance. but inside, yangyang was reeling â not because of love. but because of howâŚnothing it felt. the name that used to twist his stomach now barely registered, as if the tether had been cut without him noticing. the only thing tugging at him now was you, sitting cross-legged on your bed in another one of his oversized t-shirts, hair falling into your eyes as you frowned at your laptop. and he was sure â he didnât care who else came to his birthday. as long as you were there.
by the time friday night settled in, everything felt quieter, softer. the apartment lights were dim, the only glow coming from the t.v. screen where another episode of teen wolf played. you were curled up against him the way you always where. this was what you did every week, every day practically. but just like last week, yangyang couldnât focus on the screen. his eyes traced the crown of your head, the curve of your cheek pressed against him, the way you unconsciously shifted closer like your body had long decided he was home. his arm curved around you tighter. he couldnât stop replaying your drunk words in his head, the way youâd whispered, âwhy donât you ever see me?â because god, he did. he saw you everywhere now. in the way you looked after him, in the way you teased him, in the way your laugh made something catch in his chest. he saw you in everything. the realization sank into him heavy, immovable, inescapable â he was in love with you. it had slipped in quietly, disguised as years of friendship and routines until suddenly it was all he could feel. he was in love with his best friend.
𧸠OCTOBER 10 - SATURDAY - TRUTH OR DARE?
the eight-seater car was cramped and noisy, hendery and xiaojun in the front arguing over directions, ningning on the aux cord singing at the top of her lungs, love laughing at renjunâs terrible jokes in the back. but for yangyang, the entire drive felt muted. his focus kept pulling back to you, sitting right next to him, in the middle of all the chaos. the way you leaned your head against his shoulder, tapping absentmindedly at your phone. the way your laugh rose above the noise like it was the only sound that mattered. it was his birthday, but he couldnât bring himself to care about anything except the fact that you were there, pressed against him, fitting like you belonged in that spot. and when you reached for the water bottle in the cupholder by his side, hand brushing his thigh by accident. he didnât flinch. didnât move. he just swallowed, eyes fixed forward, like he could will his heartbeat to steady.
it took a total of two hours to finally arrive at the airbnb where chaos amplified as everyone claimed rooms, bickering about unpacking and setting up the food/supplies that you guys brought. you tugged yangyang along by the wrist, insisting he help you set up the decorations you hid in your bag.
âsurprise,â you grinned, throwing up string lights across the living room, âthought we could make it more festive.â
he stared at the lights, then at you, then back again, âshouldnât you have set it up first and then said surprise,â he teases, trying to ignore the soft pull in his chest.
âyou really think i have time to sneak away and set this up without you catching me?,â you giggled, handing him the opposite end of the string light as the two of you decorated the living room together.
the rest of the day unfolded in a blur of noise â hendery grilling, ningning forcing everyone into drinking games, renjun rolling his eyes so hard they almost got stuck, xiaojun turning up his birthday party playlist, laughter and music filling the house. as night fell, everyone was in there swimwears, lounging in the airbnbâs hot tub, steaming under the night sky, stars hazy overhead, bottles clinking against the rim as everyone crammed in shoulder to shoulder. ningning was the mastermind, of course â three beers in and declaring that the only logical next step was truth or dare.
yangyang had been fine all day, riding the edge between best friend comfort and the dizzy new weight of knowing he was in love with you. but now, with you pressed against his side in the crowded tub, legs brushing underwater, hair damp with steam and stray pieces sticking to your cheeks â he felt wrecked.
âokay, okay,â ningning grinned, pointing the empty bottle at him first, âbirthday boy starts. truth or dare?â
âtruth.â
âboo, boring,â ningning pouted, then leaned in, eyes glinting with mischief, âfine. who here would you most want to kiss?â
the group whooped immediately. renjun looked a little nervous. while xiaojun and hendery banged on the sides of the tub like a drumroll. yangyangâs throat closed. his eyes flickered sideways before he could stop himself â landing on you. you were laughing, shaking your head, splashing ningning in mock protest.
âpass,â yangyang muttered, heat rushing up to his neck.
âno passes on your birthday!,â ningning sang, a smug smile on her face.
yangyang only took another sip, stubbornly silent until henderey hollered, âcoward!â and the group dissolved into laughter. the game spiraled from there. dares to shotgun beers, truths about old crushes, ningning trying to get hendery to admit he had feelings for someone. you were glowing from it all, laughter spilling free, leaning heavier into yangyangâs side with every drink. everyone was loose, loud, shoulders bumping and splashing. ningning, of course, was thriving, eyes glittering as she scanned the circle fo her next victim.
âalright, y/n,â she grinned, pointing the empty bottle at you, âtruth or dare?â
you thought about it for a second or two, the past two turns youâve picked truth and now you were drunk enough for something bolder â âdare.â
ningning smirked like sheâd just thought of the juiciest thing in the world, âi dare you toââ her eyes flicked between you and yangyang, lingering on the way you were half draped against his side without ever realizing it, ââkiss the person youâd most want to take home tonight.â
the tub erupted in hoots, xiaojunâs obnoxious âooooOooOoohhHHh,â hendery splashing water everywhere, love grinning from ear to ear, renjun smirked at yangyang with an eyebrow raised like he already knew your answer and was waiting for you to confirm it. your stomach dropped but your grin stayed, drunk and playful. you turned your face toward yangyang, meaning to laugh it off, to share the mortified joke with your best friend. but he was already looking at you. already too close. his eyes unreadable in the dim of the hot tubâs light.
the air shifted. everyone else was still howling, waiting, chanting, KISS, KISS, KISS.
you leaned in just the tiniest bit â maybe to play along, maybe because the alcohol made it too easy, maybe because you wanted to kiss him. then your lips brushed his cheek. quick. harmless. but his hand clenched under the water, near your thigh, and you swore you felt the way his breath caught.
âlammmeee!,â hendery groaned. renjun, though, was smirking like heâd seen something the others hadnât.
the dares heightened after that. more splashing, more laughter, someone daring xiaojun to stay underwater for two minutes or post an ugly selfie on his instagram story. but then renjun, grinning wickedly, fixed his eyes on yangyang, daring â âtruth or dare, yang.â
yangyang swiped his wet hair back, rolling his eyes, âfine. dare.â
his grin widened, âi dare you to let the person of your choice sit on your lap for the next three rounds.â
the group cheered, ningning literally cackling, renjunâs teasing smile burning into his mind because they both knew there was only one person he would choose. yangyang froze before playing it off, like it didnât have any effect on him at all. he smirked faintly, masking the way his pulse spiked before turning to you and patting his thigh under the bubbling water, âcome on, teddyâŚdonât keep them waiting.â
you punched him playfully on the shoulder, giggling, before taking your seat anyway. and yangyang swore the heat of the hot tub canât even compare to the heat of your skin against his.
the game went on, laughter and half-slurred joked spilled into the night. everyone was a little loose, a little unguarded, the alcohol smoothing edges that usually stayed sharp. until you were sitting back against the hot tub wall, cheeks flushed from both the heat and the drink. yangyang sat beside you once again, thigh brushing yours underwater in that way that felt accidental but wasnât.
âokay, back to you,â ningning said, pointing at you, âtruth or dare?â
you groaned dramatically, already feeling like the game has been dragging on, âtruth.â
renjun smirked like a cat whoâd just spotted a cornered mouse, âhave you ever had a crush on anyone in this circle?â
yangyang stiffened beside you so suddenly you could feel the ripple of tension run through him. your mouth opened, then closed. you knew it was supposed to be fun and harmless but the way everyone was leaning in made your heart thud in your chest.
âuhâ,â you cleared your throat, fumbling, â...maybe,â you admitted, forcing a smile like you werenât two seconds away from boiling alive. ningning clutched xiaojunâs arm, demanding names, hendery started throwing out wild guesses, starting with himself, and renjun looked smug as hell, satisfied with the chaos heâd caused.
before it could escalate, love, seemed to sense your discomfort. she shoots you a small smile before tugging on her boyfriendâs arm, laughing as she said, âokay, i think weâve had our fun, come on junie, letâs go,â and when renjun protested, complaining about how the fun just started, love whispered something in his ear and not even a second after, they slipped out of the water together, exchanging a glance that was not so subtle about where they were headed. definitely not just to sleep. ningning yawned next, waving a lazy hand, âyeah, okay you can keep your secret, iâm too sleepy for this,â she padded off toward her room, towel wrapped around her shoulders. xiaojun and hendery werenât far behind, drunkenly bickering about who had been the worst at the dares. their voices faded as they disappeared down the hall, leaving the night suddenly quiet except for the gentle hum of the hot hub.
it was just you and yangyang now.
the air felt different, heavier, the stars above wide and indifferent to the way your pulse quickened.
yangyang leaned back against the tub wall, tilting his head toward you with that lazy grin that always made him look like he knew too much, âsoâŚ,â he drawled, eyes gleaming the low light, âyouâve had a crush on someone here, huh?â his tone was teasingly playful, voice slurring ever so slightly with the beer in his system, but underneath it something flickered sharper like he wanted the answer more than heâd admit, âwhyâd you never tell me?â
you tipped your head, water glinting off your shoulders as you gave him a sly grin, âthatâs not the question renjun asked.â
he let out a low laugh, shaking his head, hair damp against his forehead, âyouâre annoying.â
the two of you sat there in silence for a while, the tension coiling tight as the bubbles hummed around you.
âalright,â you said suddenly, breaking the silence with a mischievous lilt, âtruth or dare?â
he didnât even hesitate, âtruth.â
you leaned in just a little, eyes dancing, âwhatâs your birthday wish?â
his lips curved, but this time it wasnât the usual playful smirk. it was softer, more dangerous, âmy wish,â he said, voice low, âis for you to say dare.â
your chest tightened. the steam, the closeness, the weight of his gaze â it all pressed down at once but you nodded, pretending not to notice the way your pulse jumped. âfine. dare.â
his smirk returned but it didnât reach his eyes. they stayed locked on you, unwavering, âi dare youâŚto kiss your crush.â
you barked out a laugh, shaking your head, âyou realize how ridiculous that sounds? thereâs only two of us left here.â
âi know,â yangyang said, serious now, the playfulness stripped away. his hand shifted under the water, brushing against your thigh, grounding and dangerous all at once, âthatâs the point. i canât watch you kiss anyone else.â
your pulse thundered in your ears. the weight of his confession hung between you, heavier than the steam, heavier then the alcohol in your veins.
you swallowed hard, your laugh breaking somewhere in your throat, âwhat?...â but he was already leaning closer. not enough to touch, not enough to cross the line just yet, but close enough that you felt the heat of his breath on your lips. his eyes flicked down, just once, before snapping back up to yours like was daring you to stop him. you didnât. instead, your hand, like it had a mind of its own, reached up and curled into the damp hair at the back of his neck, tugging him down that last inch.
the kiss was clumsy at first, a brush of lips softened by too many beers but the second it landed, everything tilted. his mouth slanted over yours with a hunger that startled you both, like heâd been holding back for years without even realizing it. his hand found your waist, gripping tight, pulling you flush against him until you were straddling him, water sloshing over the edge of the hot tub. the taste of beer, the faint sting of chlorine, the low groan rumbling from his chest when you kissed him harder â it all blurred into something dizzying, something that felt far too good to be just a dare.
he pulled back just enough to breathe, lips dragging along your jaw before he caught your mouth again. between kisses, his voice rumbled low, teasing but raw around the edges.
âtruth or dare?â
you laughed into his mouth, breathless, trying to kiss him again, âyang, seriously?â
âanswer the question,â he murmured, lips still grazing yours like he couldnât stay away.
âtruth,â you murmured, too far gone to even think of anything else.
he stilled for half a beat, eyes burning into yours. then, softer than the steam curling around you, he asked, âdo you still have a crush on me now?â
you didnât bother answering his question with words. you leaned in, kissing him harder, pouring everything you didnât dare say for the past five years into the press of your mouth. he melted into the kiss instantly, pulling you closer like he couldnât get close enough.
when you finally pulled back for air, your lips brushed against his, whispering, âtruth or dare?â
his chest rose against yours, heartbeat erratic beneath your palm, his voice came out rough, almost broken, âdare.â
your mouth curled into a small mischievous smile, though your pulse was thrumming so loud it was deafening, âi dare youâŚto take off my top.â
the words hung between you, heavy and dangerous. you both froze for a heartbeat, aware of exactly what you were doing. aware of the line being crossed, again, only deeper this time. yangyangâs eyes locked onto yours, molten and unflinching. his hands, still braced at your waist, slid upward, hesitating. and then, right before his fingers reached the tie of your bikini top, he stilled.
âteddy,â he said, voice low but certain, âthis is not a mistake.â
you were breathing hard, your heart pounding erratically in your chest at the words youâve been wanting to hear. your answer came without hesitation, raw and true, âgood,â you whispered, leaning closer until your nose brushed his, âi never wanted it to be.â
your words seem to undo him. whatever hesitation that lingered in his chest cracked open, spilling into the space between you. his hand rose, fingers brushing against your damp skin, following the string at the nape of your neck. his gaze never left yours. not once. even as his thumb toyed with the knot of your bikini top, he held your eyes like he needed your permission written there. you nodded once, barely, but it was enough. with a slow tug, the knot gave, the strings loosening under his fingers. your heart pounded so loud you swore he could hear it, feel it. his hand slid down your back to find the second tie, undoing it with the same deliberate care. the fabric slackened, floating away between you until your chest pressed against his. his breath hitched, sharp and reverent, and he immediately pulled you closer, shielding you with his body, as if even the night air wasnât worthy of seeing you.
âfuck,â he muttered under his breath, voice wrecked, forehead pressing against yours, âyouâre gonna kill me.â
you let out a shaky laugh, wrapping your arms around his neck, feeling the heat of his skin against yours, âthatâs dramatic.â
he laughed before his mouth claimed yours again and you felt the unmistakable press of him through his soaked shorts, spurring you on, hips moving on instinct, grinding down slowly, his low groan vibrating against your lips.
âshit, teddyââ his hands gripped your hips, fingers digging in like he was trying to anchor you. the scrape of his teeth caught your bottom lip before his mouth trailed lower. the kisses down your throat, over your collarbone, made you shiver even in the hot water. and then he found your breast, lips closing over your nipple, hot and wet and desperate. you gasped, clutching at his hair, arching against him as this tongue swirled over you.
âyangyangââ you whimpered, rocking against him harder, his groan rumbling against your chest, sending sparks straight to your core as his tongue flicked and sucked, the sensation making your head spin.
âfuck,â he rasped against your skin, pulling back just enough to look up at you, water dripping from his hair, eyes darker than youâd ever seen them, âyou feel so good. you donât even know what youâre doing to me.â
but you did know. you could feel him straining against his shorts with every grind of your hips. you could feel the heat in your stomach curling so hard, begging for release â your body continued rolling against him, nipples swollen from his mouth. the thin barrier of his shorts wasnât enough anymore. and you know heâs thinking the same thing.
yangyang broke from your chest, breath ragged, voice cracking as he rasped, âteddy, i-i need to feel youâŚ.please.â
you pulled back just enough to look at him, your lips parted, your chest heaving. the sight of him â pupils blown wide, hair plastered to his forehead, jaw clenched like holding himself back was killing him, made you smirk through your own heavy breathing.
âno oneâs stopping you.â
the words were a fuse. his hands shoved his shorts down beneath the water, the movement frantic, desperate. you pushed your bikini bottoms to the side, heat flooding every nerve as the head of his cock brushed against you.
you both gasped at the contact. he was thick, hot, even through the water pressing insistently against your entrance. for a second, yangyangâs hands froze on your hips, like he couldnât believe this was happening.
âfuck, teddyââ he groaned as you took charge, lining him up, the initial intrusion causing his forehead to drop against your shoulder, voice shaking. âyouâre so tight, iââ his voice broke off as you sank down onto him slowly, inch by inch, his cock stretching you open in a way that felt impossible.
ây-yeah? wellââ you shuddered out a shaky laugh that melted into a whimper, nails digging into his shoulders, your body trembling, water sloshing gently against your back as you clung to him, he was so big you swore your breath caught in your throat, âyouâreâ fuckâ youâre huge.â
the moment you were fully seated on him, both of you froze. it was too much. too good. nothing has ever felt so right before. your walls fluttered around him, greedy and unrelenting, and yangyang swore under his breath, a sound wrecked and reverent all at once.
âyou feelâfuckâyou feel unreal,â he panted, lifting his head just to kiss you â not rushed, not messy, but slow and deep. his tongue with yours, his lips moving in perfect rhythm, like he needed to savor the feel of you wrapped around him as much as he needed the air in his lungs.
you rolled your hips tentatively, a grinding movement that had the head of his cock dragging against every tender spot inside you, both of you moaning into each otherâs mouths, the sound swallowed in the kiss.
âholy shit,â he breathed against your lips, his grip tightening when you did it again, slower this time, testing just how much of him you could take. the water shifted with every grind, bubbles brushing your bare chest as his mouth dropped back to your nipple, sucking softly, as if the added pleasure would distract him from how close he already felt.
your fingers tangled in his damp hair, tugging gently, âyangyangâoh my godâyou feel so goodâ you cut yourself off with another whimper, grinding down harder. every grind sent sparks shooting up your spine, left your lips parting against his in a helpless moan. yangyang was shaking under you, every muscle pulled tight like he was trying to hold himself back.
but restraint couldnât last.
you rocked against him harder, deeper, chasing that spot inside you that made your thighs tremble. his grip on your waist turned desperate, nails digging into your damp skin as though anchoring himself from falling apart too fast. the water sloshed around you, hot and slick, bubbling higher with each movement.
âf-fuck, teddyââ his voice cracked on your nickname, raw and reverent all at once. âi canâtâgod, youâre so perfect.â
you moaned into his mouth, biting at his bottom lip as you rolled your hips again. your nails clawed down his back, urging him closer, deeper, âdonât hold back,â you whispered, breathless, half a plea and half a dare.
that undid him. his hands slid from your waist to your ass, hauling you down with every thrust of his hips. the rhythm shifted â messy, uneven, full of wet slaps and broken moans. every push of him inside you had you gasping into his neck, your body quivering against his. the hot tub water splashed against the sides, the whole night echoing with the sound of skin against skin and the helpless noises spilling out of your throats.
yangyangâs mouth was everywhere â your jaw, your throat, your nipple caught between his teeth before he soothed the sting with his tongue. each kiss felt like him branding you, marking you as his.
âteddy, iâshitââ his words tumbled out between gasps, his forehead pressing against yours again, sweat and water dripping down his temples, âi need more, i need all of youââ
before you could even respond, his arms slid beneath you, hoisting you up effortlessly. a squeak tore from your throat as your body hit the cool night air, suddenly perched on the slick edge of the hot tub. goosebumps prickled your skin, but then he surged forward, slipping back inside you in one deep thrust â your body yielding around him like it had been made for him all along.
it was overwhelming. without the drag of the water, yangyang had total control now, and every snap of his hips hit so much harder. your thighs trembled as you clung to his shoulders, meeting every desperate grind, every bruising thrust. the rhythm turned frantic â like all those years of buried tension had come bursting out at once, and now you both couldnât stop even if you wanted to.
âyangyangâoh my godââ you cried, head falling back, nails leaving red trails down his slick shoulders.
âiâve got you,â he groaned against your chest, voice ragged and low, before his mouth latched onto your nipple, sucking hungrily. his hips never faltered, each thrust driving you further against the edge, the sound of wet skin slapping echoing sharp against the bubbling water behind him.
pressure coiled unbearably hot and tight in your belly. your fingers tangled in his hair, yanking his mouth up to yours in a messy, desperate kiss. you moaned into him as you ground down harder, and then it broke â your body seized, thighs locking around his waist as pleasure crashed over you in waves, his name tearing from your throat in sobbed cries.
yangyang lost it the second he felt you tighten. his hips jerked erratically, a guttural groan ripped from deep in his chest. âfuckâteddy, iâm comingâoh, fuckââ he buried himself deep, spilling inside you, heat flooding you as his release poured out in thick pulses, making you clench tighter around him. neither of you cared that he came inside. you both kept grinding, chasing every last ounce of it, until the tremors finally slowed. he slumped against you, chest heaving, lips brushing your temple, cock still throbbing inside you, the connection grounding you as the steam rose around your trembling bodies.
you shut your eyes, resting your cheek against his damp hair, listening to the frantic rhythm of his heart, catching your breath. when you finally opened them, his gaze was already fixed on you, dark and unreadable, like he was holding something back. instead of words, he kissed youâslow and soft, a promise tucked inside the gentleness. a way to show that this wasnât just a one time thing.
silence fell again, heavy with steam and the sound of water bubbling. after a long moment, you whispered, voice raspy, âletâs go to bed, yang.â
his arms tightened around your waist like he didnât want to let go, then finally loosened. âyeah. okay.â
you slid off his lap carefully, tugging your bikini into place as your shared juices dripped down your thighs and into the water, body still buzzing from him. yangyang climbed out after you, quieter than usual, grabbing a towelâhis eyes flicking toward you, then away, like he wasnât ready to break the spell just yet.
𧸠OCTOBER 11 - SUNDAY - ONE MORE TRUTH.
the two of you split off into separate bathrooms, water running in unison. under the spray, you pressed your palms to the tiled wall, letting it scald your shoulders. the memory of his hands on your body replayed relentlessly â the way heâd held you so tightly in the water, like he was afraid youâd disappear. it hadnât just been sex. that much you couldnât lie about, not even to yourself.
yangyang was telling himself the same thing in his shower, he leaned against the wall, eyes shut, trying to steady the rush still coursing through him. he could still feel the shape of you around him, still hear the way youâd said his name, soft and broken. he wanted to call it heat, or alcohol, or just a dare gone too far. but none of that explained the way his chest had clenched when you looked at him, like you were his before either of you said a word.
you move slower than you mean to â careful, deliberate steps as if the floorboards might betray you. your hair is still damp, the oversized shirt clinging to your shoulders, the cotton cool against your skin. when you padded into the bedroom, he was already there. propped against the headboard, scrolling half-heartedly through his phone. he glanced up the second the door clicked, and his mouth tugged into a soft, almost shy smile. he patted the space beside him, âcome here.â
the invitation is ordinary, an old habit. you hesitate only because thereâs a seam of something new under it, the after of what you did in the water, the newness of the words neither of you have fully confessed yet. you matched his smile and climbed onto the bed.
the awkwardness buzzed faintly between you. the sheet is warm where you settle, his arm wraps around you without thinking. itâs automatic and itâs everything. for a long beat you let the familiar do the work â his chin resting softy on top of your head, the slow, steady cadence of his breath, the way his chest feels against your back, his arms wrapping around your middle. your breaths begin to line up, one inhale, one exhale, a private metronome.
the words that have been circling your chest all night press at the edges again. âwhat happens now?â you murmured, barely above a whisper.
he doesnât answer right away, but you feel he pause in his steady heartbeat, âcan i tell you another truth?â he asks, voice small in a way youâve never heard from him before. you twist in his arms, turning so your face is level with his. the lamp casts half his features in soft glow. for a second, the room shrinks to the space between your chests, your foreheads almost touching. when youâre this close your heart does that thing it always does â it remembers every stupid, tender moment youâve ever shared.
âwhatâs your truth?â you whisper.
he swallows nervously. his thumb softly swiping over the back of your hand, finding that spot he always does when heâs trying to steady himselfâ
âteddyââ he takes a deep breath, his gaze solely focused on yours, âiâm in love with you.â
it lands softer than you expected, quiet and seismic all at once. for a beat you only hear the blood in your ears and the faint rasp of his breath. his confession sits on the air between you, vulnerable and impossible. youâve imagined this. rehearsed it in the quiet parts of late nights for years. but you always thought it would come from your lips, not his.
your mouth quirked before your brain caught up. small at first but honest, âabout time,â you breathed, and the laugh that followed was wet and relieved, breaking out of you like a release valve.
he blinked, a strangled laugh tumbling from him out of sheer surprise, then a tiny, disbelieving smile split his face wide, âabout time?â he echoed, like it was the most ridiculous and wonderful thing heâd ever heard.
you reach up and press your palm to his cheek, grounding the both of you, âyeahâŚiâve been in love with you for a long time,â you admitted, softer than you meant, confession spilling out now because the shape of him in the dark makes honesty easier than pretending, âyou just⌠finally caught up.â
his eyes widened, awe bleeding into guilt, like he couldnât believe what he just heard, like he couldnât imagine why he never noticed it before, âbut,â he mumbled, voice tightening, âbut what about shotaro?â
you giggled, the sound soft but sure, âi told you,â you said, âwe just fuck sometimes.â his fingers clamped possessively at your waist without thinking, grip tightening in a way that made your breath catch. the thought of you with another man had a new jagged edge to it now. he didnât even want to picture it.
âhe knows,â you went on gently, eyes searching his, ââŚabout me being in love with you. thatâs why itâs easy with him. thereâs no feelings involved,â your voice dropped smaller, more vulnerable. âthere never were.â
yangyangâs face lifted, a slow, unreadable expression dawning across his features. he couldnât believe his ears. none of it made sense â how you could have been in love with him all this time and he never noticed? he tries coming up with another excuse.
âbut i saw you two cuddling on the couchâŚafter weââ he confessed, faltering on purpose, âthen you guys went on a dateââ
you shook your head firmly, voice steady, âhe was at my place because i cussed him out for initiating the whole seven minutes game,â you said, the memory of that party still sharp, âi got mad at him because i thought our friendship was ruined â and that wasnât a date. it was a favor. nothing more.â you tucked your hand behind his neck, fingers threading into his hair, and the nervousness in his shoulders began to unravel as he leaned into your touch.
âgod, iâm such an idiot,â he laughed, brittle around the edges.
âyou always were the slower one,â you tease, thumb stroking the curve of his cheek. the old banter folds in around the new truths like a familiar blanket, âi was always the smarter one between the two of us.â
he snorts, that almost annoyed noise that used to end argument when you were kids. but itâs softer now, threading through with something like wonder, âhow long have you been in love with me?â
you smiled shyly, eyes dropping before you forced them back up to his, âlikeâŚfive years.â
âteddyââ he groaned, burying his face in your shoulder for a second before pulling back with wide, disbelieving eyes. âyou kept a secret from me for five years?!â
âhey! you canât blame me!,â you pouted, âhow was i supposed to tell you i was in love with you when you had girl after girlâŚand then you fell in love and it all just feltâŚtoo late. plus iâd rather be your friend forever than lose you.â
yangyang looked at you with something between amusement and heartbreak at your outburst, his lips twitching into a helpless smile, âwellâŚi canât be just friends anymore,â he said finally, certain in a way that left no space for argument. your chest ached, the good kind, the kind that made everything inside you expand all at once. you cupped his jaw, tilting your face up before your courage could falter. and then you kissed him. it wasnât like the hot tub or that drunken night. that had been fevered, messy, reckless with want. this â this was slow. careful. the kind of reverence that made your pulse stumble, his hand cradling the back of your neck as if you were something fragile.
but then, right as his thumb traced the corner of your jaw, right as you felt him about to tilt you back into the mattress â you broke into a laugh against his lips. yangyang pulled back, frowning, breath warm against your cheek, âwhy are you laughing?â
you covered your mouth, still giggling helplessly, âi justâ,â your shoulders shook as the absurdity of it all rushed through you, âi canât believe iâm making out with my best friend.â
his brows furrowed, feeling offended, though his eyes betrayed the smile fighting to break through. he leaned back just enough to glare at you playfully, âcorrection. youâre making out with your boyfriend.â
the word hit your ears like a spark, and your laugh turned into a grin you couldnât contain, âboyfriend, huh?â you teased, eyes glinting.
âyeah,â he tugged you back into him with a cocky little tilt of his head, lips brushing yours again, âbetter get used to it, teddy. iâm not letting you downgrade me to âbest friendâ ever again.â
but then he tilted his head down, catching the way you were staring at him with an amused expression. âwhat now?â he asked, suspicious.
you smirked, âjust trying to process that my best friend is suddenly my boyfriend.â
he groaned, tossing his head back dramatically against the pillows, âwellâŚprocess it faster.â
you giggled, nudging his ribs with your elbow. âfine, fine. youâre my boyfriend. happy?â
he angled his gaze back down at you, eyes gleaming, âsay it again.â
you rolled your eyes, grinning, âpushy. typical boyfriend behavior already.â
âbetter than being your dumb, oblivious best friend you secretly loved for five years,â he shot back, pinching your side until you squealed. the room filled with your laughter, tangled together in that familiar, easy way that had always belonged to you.
but when the laughter quieted, his hand didnât move from your waist. instead, his thumb brushed over your hipbone slowly, thoughtful, like he was weighing something in his head. his voice dropped lower, softer, âyou knowâŚi need to make up for that night.â
âyangyangââ you started, nerves and anticipation colliding.
but he was already shifting, pressing his lips to your temple, then your cheek, then the line of your jaw. each kiss deliberate, unhurried, âthat night was sloppy. messy. we were too drunk to know what we were doing,â his fingers skimmed under the hem of your shirt, teasing bare skin as his mouth trailed down your throat, âyou deserve better than that. you deserve me⌠taking my time.â heat flushed through you as he rolled you gently onto your back, his body hovering above yours. the lamp light traced the sharp edges of his features, the tenderness in his eyes. slowly, carefully, he pushed your shirt up, enough to cup your breasts in his hands, pressing kisses on each one, then lower to the curve of your stomach. each one softer than the last, reverent in a way that made your pulse stutter.
when his fingers reached the waistband of your shorts, he glanced up at you, pausing just long enough to let you breathe him in, âlet me make it up to you,â he murmured, voice wrecked and earnest. his words settled over you like a vow. you nodded, breath shaky, and his lips curved into something soft before he dipped back down, resuming his trail of kisses. every inch of you got his attention like he was memorizing it. he tugged your shorts down slowly, as if he wanted you to feel the air, the anticipation, the way his fingers brushed your thighs when he peeled the fabric away.
your pulse was erratic, your skin buzzing. he kissed down the inside of your thigh with the same patience heâd shown everywhere else, alternating between soft presses and teasing grazes that had your legs twitching. two of his fingers pressed down on your clit, rubbing slow circles, and your breath hitched causing him to look up at you through his lashes, hair falling into his eyes. the sight alone nearly unraveled you.
âyou okay?â he asked, voice low, thumb brushing circles on your hip.
âyeah,â you whispered, your throat tight, âbetter than okay.â
his smile was quick, almost boyish, before his mouth took over, kissing your clit. then he swiped his tongue, slow and deliberate, through your folds. you gasped, back arching at the contact and he hummed against you, pleased, doing it again â unhurried, savoring the taste of you like it was something heâd been starving for.
âgod, teddyâŚâ he murmured between licks, his breath hot against your skin, âyou taste so much better when iâm not drunk out of my mind.â your laugh came out strangled, breaking on a moan when his tongue circled your clit with devastating precision. he licked you slowly, thoroughly, like he was relearning you sober â mapping every reaction, every breathless sound you made. his hands pinned your thighs gently apart, thumbs stroking comfort into your skin as his mouth worked lower, then back up again, dragging out your pleasure.
you tangled your fingers in his hair, tugging when the intensity built, but he only groaned into you and pressed closer, like he wanted you to fall apart. right there. every flick of his tongue was patient, teasing, until he found the rhythm that made you cry out his name. he pulled back just slightly, lips shiny, eyes blown wide with heat as he looked up at you, âthis pussyâs mine now. you know that, right?â
the dirty talk had you reeling. you nodded desperately, words falling apart in your throat, ây-yeahâyang, please, donât stop.â
he smirked, dipping his head again, his tongue flattening against you in a long, devastating drag, âdidnât plan on it.â and then he devoured you properly â no rush, no hesitation, just steady, reverent focus, kissing and licking you like he was worshipping every inch of you. the slow build had you trembling, the coil in your stomach winding tighter with every deliberate movement until all you could do was gasp his name and hold on. yangyang didnât let up. every kiss, every slow flick of his tongue was intentional, drawing you higher and higher until you were trembling under him. he alternated between teasing circles and deeper, more insistent strokes, pulling soft whimpers and gasps from your throat that you couldnât bite back, each one turning into a loud moan, unfiltered.
âteddy,â he murmured against you, voice wrecked, âyouâre shaking.â
you tried to reply, but the words dissolved into a moan as he wrapped his lips around your clit and sucked, slow and steady, until your back arched off the mattress â the pleasure coiling so tightly it felt like your body couldnât contain it. when you finally broke, it was sharp and overwhelming, your fingers pulling helplessly at his hair as waves of heat rolled through you. he held you down through it, tongue softening but never leaving you, coaxing every aftershock until you were pushing him away. only when your thighs stopped trembling did he finally ease back, pressing one last kiss against your sensitive skin before lifting his head. his lips glistened, his hair was a mess, and his smile was small but devastatingly fond.
âthatâs how it shouldâve been,â he said, voice hoarse, as he climbed up and pressed a tongue filled kiss on your lips, letting you taste yourself on him, as he pulled your shirt back down, carefully covering you.
you let out a weak laugh, body so relaxed you almost slipped into darkness. when his weight settled against your side, you curled into him, face pressing into his shoulder. there was only the sound of your breath evening out, the warmth of him grounding. but then you shifted, reaching for the waistband of his sweats with fumbling fingers, âyour turn,â you whispered, trying to push past your sleepiness.
he caught your wrist easily, chuckling, pressing a kiss to your knuckles, âyou can barely keep your eyes open, teddy,â he teased softly, brushing damp strands of hair from your forehead.
âi can do it,â you argued weakly, though your body betrayed you with a sleepy yawn.
yangyang laughed again, low and gentle, kissing the crown of your head as he tucked you closer into his chest, âwe have all the time in the world for that next time,â he murmured, then his grin turned playful, âbut i canât believe i fucked you out just from that, look at me already being the best boyfriend.â
that earned a weak swat against his chest, âyouâre so full of yourselfâŚitâs the beerâs fault, not you.â
he ignores that with a playful eye roll, âand you,â he leaned down to murmur against your temple, âare so loud. i swear, everyone in this house knows what we just did.â
your cheeks burned as you smacked him again, though it lacked any heat, âshut up.â
yangyang laughed, that low, husky sound that made your stomach flip, âiâm not complaining, it was really hotâŚbut iâm just saying, teddy, if you wanted to announce weâre official, there were easier ways.â
you buried your face deeper into his chest, muttering, âi hate you.â
his arms tightened around you instantly, the teasing giving way to something softer, âno, you donât.â
he kissed your hair, then added with a smile you could hear in his voice, âbut i love you.â you pulled him tighter, too sleepy for anything else, earning a chuckle from him again, as he pulled the blanket up around both of you, tucking it securely like he never wanted to let you go.
â˘á´Ľâ˘
the morning light filtered pale and soft through the curtains when you blinked awake. yangyang was still out cold beside you, one arm draped heavy over your waist, hair sticking up in every possible direction. his lips were parted, breathing slow and even, his face so boyish in sleep. you smile, brushing a stray bang from his forehead. you lay there, soaking in the impossible reality that this was real now â your best friend. your boyfriend.
carefully, you slipped out from under his arm, pulling the blanket back over him when he shifted but didnât wake. one last glance, one last smile at his messy hair and you padded out of the room.
the kitchen was already buzzing when you joined. love was flipping pancakes while renjun brewed coffee. xiaojun and hendery were arguing over whether eggs needed more salt. ningning sat cross-legged on the counter, scrolling through her phone.
âmorning,â you greeted, slipping in to help set plates and pour juice like nothing monumental had happened last night.
âmorning,â came the chorus back, everyone too groggy and hungover to notice the spring in your step.
it wasnât until the smell of coffee filled the air and laughter started to break through the collective hangover fog that footsteps sounded down the hall. yangyang stumbled out, hair still wild, shirt hanging crooked. he rubbed at his eyes, yawning so wide it made ningning snort. and then he saw you â without hesitation, without even remembering himself, he crossed the room, slid behind you, and wrapped his arms around your waist. his chin hooked over your shoulder, his voice still thick with sleep as he mumbled, âwhyâd you leave me, teddy?â
before you could answer, he pressed a lazy kiss to your temple. then another to your cheek. and then, without any warning, like it was the most natural thing in the world, he turned your face toward his and kissed you full on the mouth.
the kitchen froze. you felt your stomach drop at the exact second the room exploded.
âFINALLY!!!â ningning practically shrieked, nearly dropping her phone she slammed it down dramatically, âi told you guys! i told you!â
âYES!,â xiaojun cheered, throwing his arms up in celebration, âhendery, you owe me fifty bucks.â
âwait, what?!â you and yangyang whirled on the two boys, âyou placed bets?!â yangyang asked, bewildered.
renjun smiled into his coffee, amused and smug, âcalled it,â he muttered, loud enough for yangyang to hear.
love was quieter than the rest â her pancakes cooked to perfection. she stared at the two of you for a beat, then let out a soft laugh that carried more relief than surprise, âi always knew there was⌠more,â she admitted, shaking her head. âguess i wasnât crazy after all,â she glanced at renjun, who returns her smile.
yangyang tightened his grip, looking around in surprise, âwhat? it wasn't that obvious??â
âit literally was!â you hissed, elbowing him in the ribs, which only made them laugh louder. the kitchen filling with overlapping voices, mock cheers, and clattering dishes.
𧸠OCTOBER 12 - MONDAY - BUSY.
the evening settled lazy and quiet in your apartment, the glow of teen wolf flickering across the living room. you and yangyang were tangled up on the couch. the world outside didnât exist â it was just you, him, and the muffled sound of werewolves snarling on screen. everything was normal. yet everything felt different. every so often heâd murmur commentary, usually something dumb like, âi could totally fight that guy if i had clawsâ or âwhy is derek always brooding, like calm down dude.â youâd swat him half-heartedly, but your cheek would hurt from smiling.
your phone buzzed where it rested on the coffee table. yangyang, closest, picked it up without thinking â the way best friends always did. but his entire body went rigid when he saw the name.
shotaro. his eyes flicked to you, then back to the glowing screen. the message was simple, casual.
shotaro: u busy?
you felt your stomach dip. you both knew what that meant. a code for hooking up. you opened your mouth, to grab the phone, to explain, you werenât sure, but yangyang beat you to it. with a calmness that didnât match the sharp edge in his jaw, he typed back:
y/n: she is busy. this is yangyang. her boyfriend.
you blinked, âyangyangââ
âhe canât keep texting you this,â he said, trying to conceal the jealousy in his tone. your heart hammered in your chest, torn between exasperation and the giddy flutter of seeing him like this, finding it amusing.
âyouâre cute when youâre jealous,â you point out, a tiny smirk on your lips.
âiâm not jealous,â he retorts but the pout on his lips says otherwise.
you kissed it away quickly, making him chase your lips in the process before your giggle snaps his eyes open, âyang, you have nothing to worry about, mu heart is yours and yours only, everyone knows that,â you reassure him, a soft smile on your lips. before he could reply, your phone buzzed, shotaroâs message coming in.
shotaro: đđđđđ
shotaro: finally dude, took you long enough!
shotaro: congrats lovebirds âşď¸
you couldnât help it â laughter burst out of you, bubbling until your cheeks hurt, âtold you so.â
he shot you a look, somewhere between sulking and pouting, and rolled his eyes hard enough you thought they might get stuck, âthis is embarrassing. youâre never letting me live this down, are you?â he muttered.
ânot a chance.â you grinned, tucking your face into his shoulder, still giggling. you glanced at him through your lashes, biting back a grin, âwell,â you murmured, voice lilting with a mix of tease and challenge, ânow that you told him iâm busy, you gotta actually keep me busy.â
yangyangâs smirk was immediate, lazy and smug as he shifted to face you fully, âis that your way of saying you want to have sex with me?â
your cheeks burned instantly, âgod, do you have to say it like that?â
yangyang leaned in until the space between you shrank, his hand curling gently around your thigh, âso⌠should i take that as a yes?â his voice dipped lower, teasing but not careless, like he wanted to hear it from you.
your heart gave a traitorous skip, and you rolled your eyes to cover it up, âjust kiss me, dummy.â his grin softened into something quieter, sweeter, and he obeyed without another word. the kiss started light â his lips just brushing yours, testing, as though reminding both of you that this wasnât like all the half-drunk makeouts of the past. he lingered there, pressing his mouth to yours until your hand came up on instinct to curl in his hoodie, pulling him closer. he tugged your shorts down with ease, hand sliding down your ass, cupping and squeezing like he couldnât help himself.
by the time you pulled back, your breathing was already uneven. âyangâŚâ
âride my face,â he murmured, tugging your panties off, the suggestion making you clench on instinct.
âwait, whatââ
he hushed you with another kiss, murmuring a âplease,â against your mouth before he pulled away. yangyang leaned back on the couch, hair already messy from your tugging fingers, lips pink and swollen from kissing.
âyangâare you sure?â
âcome here,â he said, voice low, guiding you until you were hovering above his head.
your palms flattened against the armrest for support, the position leaving you open, trembling. âyangyang, this isââ
âexactly what i want,â he cut in, his breath hot against you. his hands clamped onto your thighs, pulling you down until you were seated fully on his mouth. his nose brushed you, tongue working slow and firm, and you couldnât stop the sound that ripped from your throat.
âyangâoh, my godââ
he groaned at your taste, the vibrations shooting straight through you. his eyes fluttered shut, messy blond hair fanning out over the cushions, hips twitching helplessly.
âfuck, youâre soaked,â he mumbled against you, his voice muffled and wrecked, âtaste so sweetâyouâre gonna make me cum in my pants.â
the filthy admission sent heat ripping through you. your nails dug into the armrest, your hips grinding down carefully, whines of desperation slipping from your lips, each second feeling better and better.
âtake what you want teddy, câmon, donât be shy,â his grip tightened, holding you in place as he guided you to rock against him faster.
no longer able to control yourself, you chased the pleasure, faster and faster, eyes rolling back. the sound of your own wetness mixing with his low groans spurring you on even more. each time you ground down, he moaned like he was being fed something heâd craved for years. his chin and jaw were slick, shining with you, his tongue never faltering.
âfeels soââ your voice broke, your thighs trembling harder, âso good, yangyangââ
he pulled back just enough to gasp in a breath, voice hoarse and wrecked, âyeah? then ride my face, teddy. just like that. donât stop for me.â
the filthy words shattered the last bit of control you had. your fingers tangled into his hair, tugging hard, your thighs squeezing tighter around his head as you used him. his tongue met every desperate grind, licking broad and greedy, then flicking sharp and precise right where you needed him. you couldnât hold back the sounds tearing out of you â half-moan, half-whimper.
yangyangâs eyes were glazed over, pupils blown wide as he looked up at you from between your thighs, sweat-damp hair plastered to his forehead. his jaw flexed as he pushed his tongue deeper, then dragged it up, slow and heavy, sucking your clit into his mouth until your hips bucked.
âfucking love this,â he groaned into you, the words muffled but hot against your skin, âlove the way you use me.â he was so turned on, so wrecked from eating you out, that he was leaking through the fabric of his sweats without even touching himself.
you fisted his hair tighter, gasping, âyangyangâiâm gonnaââ
his tongue flicked rapid and merciless now, sucking at your clit with each drag, matching the frantic way your hips were moving. he growled low, the vibration shaking through you, and it was too much. your climax ripped through you, sharp and blinding, thighs clamping down around his head as you cried out, grinding hard against his face. he moaned into you like heâd just been given everything he ever wanted, holding you down, tongue working you through every wave until your body shuddered and went slack. you slumped against the armrest, chest heaving, sweat slick on your skin.
below you, yangyang looked utterly ruined â mouth and chin drenched with you, lips swollen, pupils blown. he licked one last lazy stripe up your folds before pressing a wet kiss to your inner thigh, his breathing as ragged as yours.
âprettiest sight iâve ever seen,â he murmured, voice hoarse, his cock straining visibly under the damp patch of his sweats, âyou falling apart on me like that.â
your thighs were still trembling when you finally shifted off his face, sinking down onto the couch beside him. yangyangâs chest was heaving, lips red and swollen, chin slick with you. he looked so dazed that for a second you forgot how to breathe â then you leaned in and kissed him, tasting yourself on his mouth.
when you settled against him, your eyes dropped lower â thatâs when you saw it. the front of his grey sweats was completely soaked through, darkened with a wet patch that left nothing to the imagination. he was painfully hard, twitching under the damp fabric, leaking without ever laying a hand on himself. you leaned in closer, lips brushing his jaw.
âthat turned you on that bad? just me riding your face?â your hand slipped down, palming him through the damp fabric in awe, feeling the heat and the twitch of his cock straining against the thin material.
he groaned, head dropping back against the couch, âteddyâdonâtââ
âdonât what?â you teased, giggling, palm pressing firmer against him, slow circles over the soaked outline, âthought you liked being used.â
his hips bucked up against your hand, giving him away, âyouâre evil,â he groaned, voice tight, eyes screwing shut, âmaking fun of me when iâve been leaking for you this whole time.â
you grinned, dragging your palm over him again, deliberate and slow, âyou leaking for me, huh? thatâs cute.â
âcute?â he cracked one eye open to glare at you, but his voice cracked halfway through.
you bit back a laugh, leaning in to kiss the corner of his mouth while your hand kept working him through the damp sweats. âyeah. cute. my bigâŚâ you squeezed his cock, making him whimper, ââneedy boyfriend canât even keep it together.â
his groan turned into a laugh, but he canât hind the blush creeping up his ears, breathless and wrecked, âyouâre gonna regret teasing me when iâm inside you.â
your teasing hand finally slipped past the waistband of his sweats â fingers wrapping around the hot, heavy length of him. you pumped him once, twice, slow but firm, and he shuddered under your touch, small whimpers slipping from his lips. the sheer weight of him in your hand, the way he throbbed against your palm, the noises he made, all made your stomach flip.
âgod, yangââ you breathed, squeezing him just enough to make his hips jerk. âyouâre so hard. already leaking everywhere for me.â
his breath hitched, hips bucking into your hand. his fingers clenched at your thigh like he was holding himself back, âteddyâstopââ
you tilted your head, pretending innocence, âstop?â
he pushed your hand away, chest rising and falling unevenly, âiâm notââ he groaned, frustrated with himself, âiâm not cumming in your hand. not tonight.â
you blinked, a little dazed, your hand still tingling from the heat of him, âthen whatââ
but before you could finish, he leaned forward, catching your mouth in a rough kiss, all tongue and teeth and pent-up hunger. his hands were already at your shirt, finally tugging it over your head, leaving you completely bare for him.
when you gasped against his mouth, he muttered against your lips, âif iâm gonna cum, itâs gonna be inside you.â your breath caught at the blunt honesty, your body arching into his touch as he pulled his own shirt off completely and pushed his sweats down. he guided you back onto the couch cushions, hovering over you with a look that made your pulse skip.
the kisses had deepened, slower but heavier, with his hands skimming up your sides like he was learning a new map. you shifted nervously against him, letting out a tiny laugh that broke the kiss.
âthis is still so weird,â you whispered, in between giggles and kisses.
yangyang laughed too, the sound vibrating through his chest where you pressed against him, tilting your chin back up so he could kiss the corner of your jaw, âitâs weird that it took us thirteen years.â
you gave him a playful glare, but your lips betrayed you by curving up into a smile, âand who set that system up?â
he laughed, kissing you again. he took his time with each inch of skin revealed, drawing tiny shivers out of you that you tried and failed to hide.
âstop smiling,â you muttered breathlessly as he pressed another kiss just below your jaw.
âcanât help it,â he said, voice muffled against your skin, âyouâre so beautiful, i should be allowed to gawk.â
âyouâre annoying.â
âyou love me.â
âi love you.â
he pulled you into another kiss, deeper this time, as he lined himself up against your entrance. when yangyang finally pressed into you, the air punched right out of your lungs. slow, steady, deliberate â like he was trying to memorize the exact moment you fit around him. your fingers dug into his shoulders, nails leaving tiny crescents in his skin as you gasped, âjesus, yangââ
he stilled immediately, eyes wide, chest heaving, âtoo much?â
you shook your head quickly, breathless laughter breaking out of you even as you squirmed around the thick, heavy stretch, âno â just⌠how are you this big?â
yangyang groaned, dropping his forehead onto your shoulder, âdonât say that right now.â
âwhy not?â you teased, threading your fingers through his messy hair, tugging just enough to make him lift his head again.
âbecauseââ he grit out, rolling his hips an inch deeper just to prove a point, ââif you keep saying that, iâm gonna embarrass myself and cum before i even get started.â
you burst into a giggle, though the way your body fluttered around him betrayed just how much the words got to you, âoh my god, are you seriously admitting that?â
he scowled at you, but the corners of his mouth twitched upward, âweâve been best friends for thirteen years. i donât get to lie anymore.â
âyou never could lie,â you shot back, kissing his jaw in between your laughs, âyou get this stupid vein in your foreheadââ
âstopââ he groaned again, cutting you off with a kiss, sloppy and urgent, like he had to shut you up before you completely ruined him.
but you were still grinning into it, tugging him closer, whispering against his lips, âbiggest iâve ever had, by the way.â
he made a strangled noise, hips jerking forward before he forced himself to stop, âokay â no. if you donât want this to end in sixty seconds, shut up.â
you smirked wickedly, wrapping your legs tighter around his waist, âfine. but only because i want to enjoy it.â his eyes darkened, his jaw tightening as he pushed in the rest of the way, every inch making you gasp and cling to him harder. the stretch burned, but it was the good kindâthe kind that had your toes curling and your chest arching up against his.
yangyang groaned, forehead pressed to yours, his breath shaky, âgod, you feel⌠so fucking good.â
âyeah?â you whispered, brushing your lips against his, your grin still lingering despite how wrecked you already felt.
âyeah,â he rasped, kissing you again, slower this time, his hips finally beginning to move. you clung tighter, every roll dragging a breathy sound from your throat you couldnât bite back.
you clenched around him and he broke the kiss with a shaky laugh, brushing his thumb over your cheek, âyouâre seriously trying to kill me, huh?â
you managed a grin between gasps, âpretty sure youâre the one doing the damage.â
ânot my fault youâreâŚâ he trailed off with a groan as your nails raked lightly down his back, ââŚtight as hell.â
you giggled, half-wrecked already. ânot my fault you fill me up so well.â
his head dropped to your shoulder again, muffling a desperate laugh-groan into your skin, âshut up,â he whined, voice cracking adorably. but the way his hips snapped a little deeper, a little harder, told you he liked itâliked your teasing, liked the way you couldnât keep quiet with him inside you.
when you hooked your ankles at his lower back to drag him closer, he hissed and shifted, suddenly lifting one of your legs up, then the other, until both were resting against his shoulders. the new angle made you gasp so sharply it turned into a moan, ây-yangâholy shitââ
he froze, smirking down at you even as sweat dripped at his temple, âthat good?â
you shot him a dazed glare, though your hips rolled up to meet his without thought, âdonât⌠act smugââ
he pushed in deep, bottoming out so hard you saw stars. your words broke off into a strangled cry, and yangyang groaned low, burying his face in your neck, âfuckâyouâre squeezing me.â
âi canât help it,â you gasped, grabbing at the back of his neck, pulling him up for another messy kiss, âyouâreâgodâyouâre soââ
âdonât say it,â he cut in quickly, panting against your mouth, âdonât say it or iâm done for.â you bit back your laugh, kissing him harder just to swallow the desperate sound you made when he hit that spot again. the pace stayed slow but deep, each thrust driving impossibly far with your legs curled over his shoulders. his hands gripped your thighs tight, fingers flexing like he needed to hold on or heâd lose it.
you moaned his name, breathless, tugging at his hair, âyangyangââ
he pulled back just enough to look at you, his face twisted in concentration, lips red and swollen, âyeah, teddy?â
âi love you,â you whispered, voice breaking, laughter tangled up with need.
he kissed you again, deeper this time, whispering against your lips, âi love you, too.â
his rhythm stayed deep and unhurried, every thrust dragging a sharp cry from you that melted into laughter, into gasps, into his name spilling again and again. then his hand slipped between the two of you, thumb rubbing harsh, precise circles on your clit, pushing you over the edge. your nails scratched at his back, tugged at his hair, every nerve in your body sparking, ây-yang⌠iâm gonnaâ,â
âi know, teddy, i know,â he murmured, voice breaking as he kissed your cheek, your mouth, the corner of your jaw, âcome all over me, please.â
that was all it took. your body clenched tight around him, and the climax crashed through you, head tipping back against the couch cushion as you moaned his name. he kissed you through it, swallowing every sound, hips stuttering at the way you squeezed around him dragging him to his own climax, âfuckâgripping me so tightâiâm gonna come.â
your body was still fluttering around him when you gasped out, broken and breathless, âinsideâplease, yang, i want it insideââ
for a moment, he froze, eyes going wide like youâd just asked him to set the world on fire, âareââ his voice cracked, hips faltering, âare you sure?â
you tugged him down, kissing him hard, desperate, your voice wrecked against his lips, âpleaseâplease, yang,â you whined.
something in him snapped at that. his groan was raw, guttural, as he buried himself to the hilt, grinding deep enough to steal your breath. his forehead pressed against yours, sweat dripping at his temple as he muttered, âfuckâgonna cumâinside you, teddyâ,â
your nails dug into his back, pulling him closer, âdo it, yang. want itâwant you.â
he bit back a curse, thrusts turning frantic but still deep, controlled. his hands held your thighs so tight theyâd bruise, his voice low and breaking, âmineâfuckâyouâre mine.â you whimpered his name, clinging to him as his rhythm broke apart. then with a strangled groan, he slammed in one last time and spilled into you, hot and endless, the force of it pulling a sob out of his throat.
the aftershocks tore through both of you, your body clutching around him, milking every drop. his chest collapsed against yours, lips brushing over your temple, your cheek, your mouth, like he couldnât stop. when yangyang finally pulled out, his breath hitched, chest rising and falling fast as he watched his release spilling out of you, shining down your skin in little streaks.
âfuckâŚâ he groaned, voice dropping rough and reverent, âthatâs so hotâŚlook at you, teddy, canât even hold me in.â you whined, trying to close your legs, but he pressed them apart again, eyes dark and fixated. he dragged two fingers through the mess, slow and deliberate, and brought it up between you.
âsuck.â his tone was low but coaxing, like he already knew youâd obey. your lips parted, and he slipped his finger past them, watching intently as you closed around him, sucking the mix of both of you clean. his jaw clenched, hips twitching like he could feel it himself.
âgodââ he rasped, barely holding back a shudder, âyou drive me crazy.â you hummed around his finger, eyes locking with his as you licked him clean, letting the lewd wet sound fill the room. he cursed again, pulling his hand free only to grip your jaw and kiss you deep, messy, desperate, like he needed to taste it on your tongue too.
âsoâŚâ yangyang murmured, grin tugging at his lips. âthink thatâs busy enough, or should we get busier?â
you smacked his chest weakly, too boneless to put any force behind it, âyouâre ridiculous.â
âridiculous,â he echoed, pretending to think. he kissed your nose, playful and soft, ânah. just making up for lost time.â
𧸠OCTOBER 16 - FRIDAY - CRISIS AVERTED.
yangyang let himself in like always, already calling out a lazy, âteddy, iâm here. did you eat yet? i broughtââ
then he froze. the sound hit him before anything else â muffled crying, sharp enough to shoot panic through his chest. he tossed the pizza box on the counter with a thud as his pulse kicked up, ây/n!?â he called, voice already breaking with fear. he sprinted towards your bedroom, every worst-case scenario clawing at his brain, you hurt, you sick, youâ but when he burst into your room, what he found was you, sitting on the floor, tear-streaked cheeks, clutching something in your lap.
âshitâhey, hey,â he rushed to you immediately, dropping to his knees, âwhat happened? are you hurt? talk to me.â
you turned toward him, lower lip wobbling, and in your hands⌠mr. bear. his worn out brown fur and now â his leg dangling, the seam ripped wide.
âiâi was cleaning my bed,â you hiccuped, voice breaking, âand i mustâve pulled too hard or something andâhe justâyangyang, i broke him.â
yangyang blinked. his panic collided with relief so hard he had to sit back on his heels. his heart was still racing, but now he could finally see the whole picture â not a tragedy, but the most you kind of meltdown. and he knew exactly the reason. the promise attached to that bear â the one youâd made all those years ago â it all suddenly made sense of why you were crying so hard.
âoh, teddyâŚâ his voice softened immediately as he reached out, brushing your wet cheeks with his thumbs, âyou scared the hell out of me. i thoughtââ he stopped himself, swallowing down the lump in his throat, and nodded toward the bear, âheâs just a little injured. not gone. okay?â
your hands shook as you held the bear up between you, like proof of your failure, âbut my promise⌠i said as long as mr. bearâs okay, weâre okay. and now heâs hurt.â
yangyangâs chest tightened, but not with fear this time. with something achingly tender. he took the bear gently from your hands, setting him carefully on the bed like he was still sacred, then cupped your face, âlisten to me,â he said firmly, eyes locking on yours. âmr. bear can lose both legs, his stuffing, his headâand weâll still be okay. iâll still be yours. that promise was real, but it wasnât about a toy. it was about you and me. got it?â
your sniffle cracked into a laugh-sob, shaky and small, âyou sound so sure.â
âbecause youâre crying over a bear, teddy,â he wiped under your eyes again, softer this time, âand because i love you, and iâm never letting some third-grade bear decide that for us.â
you shoved at his chest weakly, embarrassed now, âdonât make fun of me.â
he caught your wrist, grinning, and leaned in to press his forehead to yours, âonly sometimes,â he grinned, âbut also? youâre lucky iâm amazing with a needle. mr. bearâs about to get the glow-up of his life.â your laugh finally came out properly then, tears still spilling on your cheeks. yangyang felt the knot in his chest finally loosen. he kissed your damp cheek once, then held you against him, rocking you gently on the floor.
âsee?â he murmured into your hair, âcrisis averted. weâre still best friends. still together. foreverâs intact.â
𧸠OCTOBER 18 - SUNDAY - STUCK WITH ME.
two days later, mr. bear was back to his rightful throne at the top of your bed, one leg stitched up neatly with even and earnest thread. yangyang had insisted on doing it himself, tongue poking out in concentration while you teased him for looking like a âmad scientist surgeon.â
now, the two of you were in your kitchen â the apartment smelled like garlic and soy sauce, the pan sizzling as you stirred noodles with a little too much force. yangyang was leaning against the counter beside you, pretending to help but mostly just sneaking bites of the vegetables youâd chopped earlier.
âyang, if you eat one more carrot stick, iâm cutting your fingers off,â you warned, swatting at his hand with the wooden spoon.
he grinned, chomping it anyway, âiâd like to see you try.â
you rolled your eyes, fighting a smile. he always had that smug look when he knew he was getting away with something. but then, instead of reaching for another bite, he slipped a hand into his pocket, âactually⌠iâve got something for you.â
you glanced at him suspiciously, stirring slower, âwhat?â
he pulled out a tiny box, holding it out like it was nothing, though his ears were already turning pink, âhere.â
your brow furrowed, âyangyang⌠if this is a prank and a cockroach jumps outââ
âitâs not a prank!â he laughed, shoving it gently against your chest until you took it, âjust open it, teddy.â
you wiped your hand on a towel and popped the lid open. your breath caught. inside sat a delicate gold chain with a tiny gold teddy bear charm dangling from it.
âoh my godâŚâ you whispered, smiling instantly.
yangyang rubbed the back of his neck, eyes darting away like he was suddenly fascinated by the ceiling, âyou, uh⌠freaked out pretty bad when mr. bear almost lost his leg the other day. so i figured⌠this way youâve got one you canât break.â
you turned to face him fully, holding the necklace between your fingers like it was made of glass, âyang, i love it, iââ
âturn around,â he cut in quickly, a little shy. you turned around, holding your hair to the side. his fingers brushed against your nape as he clasped the necklace, lingering there like he couldnât let go. when he was done, he didnât pull back. instead, he bent to press a kiss against your neck. then another. and another.
âyangyangââ your voice cracked on his name, heat rising in your cheeks. he rested his chin on your shoulder, eyes catching the charm against your collarbone.
âperfect,â he murmured, voice low and sure.
you laughed softly, leaning back into him, âyou know this is kinda unfair, right? you keep one-upping yourself.â
âthatâs the point,â he hummed against your skin, lips curving into a smile as he trailed lower toward your shoulder, âiâve got thirteen years to make up for,â he murmured, kissing your shoulder softer this time, like a promise.
your smiles, âthatâs⌠a long time.â
âgood,â he said easily, mouth brushing the edge of your jaw now, âmeans youâre stuck with me for a while.â you laughed, turning to swat at his chest but only managing to catch his hoodie. he kissed you properly this time, slow and sweet, before leaning back just enough to steal another carrot stick with his free hand.
âthere he is,â you muttered, rolling your eyes. âthe real yangyang.â
âmhm,â he said around the bite, grinning. âstill the one you fell for though.â
you rolled your eyes, necklace glinting in the kitchen light as you stirred the noodles again. yangyang didnât even pretend to help after that. he just hovered, brushing past you every chance he got, sneaking more vegetables, dropping lazy kisses on your neck or shoulder until you smacked at him with the spoon. by the time dinner was plated, you were laughing too hard to stay annoyed. you both ate slowly, the easy chatter filling the quiet of the apartment. he told you about the new song stuck in his head, you complained about an assignment your professor gave, he teased you about how messy you were with noodles.
it was the same rhythm youâd always had â best friends, trading jokes and stories, no one but him. no one but you â except now there was something new threading between it all. a warmth. a weight. his foot brushing yours under the table. his smile lingering longer than it used to. his lips wandering in between stories, a kiss to your temple, a peck on your cheek when you smiled, a soft press to your knuckles as if reminding you, over and over, that he was yours now.
Ἅᥠthe end.
â
18+ only | watch at your own risk | contains mature content
yangyang x teddy coded links: #1. #2. #3. #4. #5. #6. #7. #8. #9. #10. #11.
â
an: and the first of the wayv trio is done!!!! this was kinda tough you guys, i didnât want to do another fake dating trope so i really had to think about how i wanted yangyang to realize heâs in love with teddy. i hope you liked the nickname!!! i think itâs so cute. i gotta delete the teddy bear emoji for haechan and princess because that belongs to yangyang and teddy now lmfao. also how are we feeling with the yangyang and renjun reconciliation? and love always kinda knowing??? hehe i never planned this but im declaring its canon now that it took her so long to say yes to yangyang because of teddy đ
last thing: im sorry to say this but the wayv boys will not be getting bonus scenes >.< im lowkey already struggling with the dream ones lol. BUT i hope you enjoyed this!!! and i hope you like the links ;););) #5 is my favorite hehe. as always, thank you so so much for reading!
Ἅᥠlikes, reblogs and comments are not required but is very appreciated.
Ἅᥠif you enjoy this series and would like to show extra love and support. my ko-fi is open <3
Ἅᥠlove tags: @mangoescrazy @bamjjwi @jungwooie @erireadsstuff @rjreins @poemzcheng @jungwooismysavior @alexameliamg @neo-moa @dkkyeom @leleszn @rex-ie @generalpuppycloud @mots7g @chenleverse @kj0ne @ninety-nite-99 @xxxnrigi @idkwiexist @pankuya @amazinggraxia @jaeminiwrld @ni-ki-starnetwork @drunkhee @severeanxietyissues @peonyjoo @multifandom2515 @yeosayang @dongyoungknows @aegryo @malaysianctfan @booskies @ingridbirdman @vantxx95 @andluv @fancypeacepersona @heartsforsunwoo @222low @9yuldaengi @cowboyuyu @zarastrawberry @boxofinvisiblethoughts @jwikyo @horanghyuck @combinatoright-blog @emmy-l-r @karleereadssmut @asahisimpnation @httpsxnox
TAGLIST: CLOSED.
â§ TUTOR â lhs
SYNOPSISÂ â when what was supposed to be a tutoring session with your older brother's best friend turns into him fucking you raw in his room.
pairing ęŁŕ§ brother's bsf!heeseung x f!reader
warnings ęŁŕ§ smut with plot (MDNI!), unprotected sex (be safe irl), dirty talk, oral (f receiving), mention of body image, slight breeding kink (?), praising, overstimulation (multiple orgasms), idk they're down bad for eo . . .
WORD COUNT: 3.7k â˰
you've known of heeseung since forever. even when you were young and was still sharing room a with your brother jake. your brother would say his name while playing online games, but you didn't really know who he was. you didn't pay attention to him and he held no significance to you since he was just your brother's friend.
until he wasn't.
it all started about a year ago, during a family dinner when your mom suddenly blurted, "yn, what if one of jake's friends became interested in you?"
you choke on your food. caught off guard, you furrowed eyebrows in confusion.
of course, jake was even more confused. he scoffed after letting out an airy laugh, thinking it was ridiculous. he didn't take it seriously and you didn't either.
"what the heck, mom? they're jake's friends.. that's weird."
"so?" your mom giggled. "heeseung is not so bad. he's a kind boy, plus your dad and i already know him so that saves the whole awkward parentâboyfriend meetup."
"oh my god," jake rolled his eyes after hearing his best friend getting mentioned.
she wasn't being serious. or was she? you were confused but you laughed it off, thinking it was only a silly joke that wouldn't escalate.
but her words stuck to you.
ever since your mom teased you about heeseung, you found yourself curious so you took every chance you could to see him.
every spontaneous hangout that jake had with his friends, you would go. and every time you did, you noticed how goddamn attractive heeseung was.
sometimes, he looked unfairly good for how simple his outfit wasâa black shirt with some sweatpants. there was nothing flashy about it, but that was the point. he didn't need anything else to look good. the simplicity made him look even finer, like he was effortlessly confident in the quiestest way possible.
it wasn't only his looks that made him incredibly attractive. in fact, you found his personality adorable. he was a nerdy guy who liked to play video games and also play sportsâespecially basketball and god, he was so good at it. you also witnessed how amazing of a singer he was when you all went to a karaoke one time.
it wasn't uncomfortable hanging out with jake and his friends despite the fact that they were all older than you. most of them just saw you as a little sister.
and you thought heeseung thought the same.
but you were so wrong.
you thought you were delusional when heeseung would be the only one out of everyone in the group to talk to you sometimes.
you thought you were delusional when you would glance at him and his eyes were already on you.
you thought you were delusional when you felt that tension every time you were in the same vicinity as him.
you thought it was only you who felt this way.
most of the time, the rest of the guys would simply wave at you and forget your presence afterwards, which was fair because it's not like you were close to them.
but heeseung? he always took his time asking you about your day and talking about random things with you.
today, you joined him and jake at the gym since you were planning to go anyway, so the three of you worked out together.
jake went ahead to finish his final set of the first workout, leaving you and heeseung just standing off to the side, resting before you both finish your own sets.
"so, how long have you been going to the gym?" he broke the silence, his deep voice lingering inside your ears.
"uh, couple months. but i'm on and off with it." you replied nervously. every interaction with him made your stomach do flips and you didn't wanna mess it up each time.
"ahh i see. there's nothing wrong with that, we all start somewhere. what's your main goal? is it building muscle or like, achieving your dream body kinda?" he raised his eyebrows, genuinely curious.
"mm.." you took a second to think before he gave you a warm smile. you almost fainted from that damn smile.
"a little bit of both i guess. my arms are weak so i want them stronger in general, but i also want my body to look nicer." you answer truthfully.
he blinked slowly before scanning your body up and down. your cheeks turned flushed pink before he quietly said, "your body's already real nice though."
"oh t-thanks," you laugh awkwardly, not knowing how to react to the sudden compliment.
"anyway," he looked around the gym, realizing he was flustered too. he was always nervous when talking to you too, he was just better at hiding it. the last thing he wanted was to make you feel uncomfortable.
"you're in uni now right? what's your major?" he switched the topic.
"i'm a biology major-"
"no way, i am too." he immediately turned his head towards you. his eyes widened, pleasantly surprised that you two shared something like this in common. his bambi eyes melted you and you almost forgot what you guys were talking about.
"wait really, oh my god! are you in your fourth year then?" you were also happily shocked hearing this. multiple thoughts crossed your mind.
he must've already taken the classes that you're currently taking and you started to wonder if he got good grades. knowing the fact that heeseung was good at everything, he probably did well in academics too.
"mhm, so you're probably in your second year. if you need notes or help or anything, just let me know. i'm always at your place anyway cause of jake. i could always tutor you- well only if you want." he got embarrassed when he realized he'd been rambling and stopped.
you gulped at the thought of heeseung tutoring you. you know for a fact you wouldn't be able to focus if it was him tutoring you.
"that would be amazing," you smile and he suddenly takes his phone out and hands it to you. you blink up at him, confused.
he chuckles, "put your number in. you could always text me if you're struggling with anything," he puts his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants as he watches you put your number into his phone.
it was pretty similar with heeseung. he had known of you for years but you weren't significant to him. you were just his best friend's younger sister throughout these years.
however, he recently started seeing you differently as well. it was a couple months ago when a going-away party for some guy named sunghoonâone of jake and heeseung's friendsâtook place.
you hadn't planned on going, but it was a pretty big party and you heard your brother jake was going, meaning his friends were going tooâalthough you really only wanted to go there to see heeseung. you haven't had the chance to see him in a while so you knew you had to go. previously, he never showed special attention towards you so on the day of the party you decided to look your best for him, hoping he could notice you.
"whatever yn, just don't get black out drunk tonight please," jake sighs, wondering why he even let you come with him.
you wander around the place on your own, eventually stumbling across the kitchen where you find the drinks. you go and reach for one but a hand grabs the drink you were reaching for first.
"hey-" you stop when you look up and see that it was heeseung.
he too, was simply trying to get himself a drink but didn't see that you were reaching for it. he was about to apologize when he laid his eyes on you, unaware that it was youâjake's younger sister.
he remained standing there with the drink in his hand, almost stunned just by looking at you. his eyes wandered from your face to your hair, then to your body, scanning the bodycon dress that you were in.
holy fuck she's gorgeous. he thought, still not registering in his mind that it was you. he was lost in his thoughts now while clearly checking you out, failing to realize that he was biting his bottom lip at the sight of you.
he came back to his senses when jake puts his arm around his shoulder and jokingly says, "yo heeseung, you babysitting yn for me?"
shit. that's yn? he couldn't believe it. he had no idea you looked like this now.
heeseung awkwardly chuckles, "nah, just pouring her a drink." he pours a shot for you and you take it. both heeseung and jake were shocked at how you drank it with no hesitation.
this was the exact moment heeseung realized that you were no longer just his best friend's sister. that you were someone who made him feel things.
so the fact that he now had your number and a reason to see you apart for being with jake, he felt ecstatic.
you don't even feel tired when you get home despite the fact that you worked out a lot today. all you could think about was how you had heeseung's number and a chance to see him alone.
you stare at the contact on your phone. heeseung lee.
you start pondering, debating on whether to text him or not. not long after, you pick up your phone and send him a text.
heeseung lee
me: hi heeseung ! [9:46pm]
heeseung lee: heyy yn what's up [9:48pm]
me: i was just wondering if u could help me with anatomy? i completely forgot to study and my midterm for it is the day after tomorrow.. [9:52pm]
heeseung lee: ofc yn i could help u [9:53pm]
heeseung lee: wanna come over instead? i kinda told jake i wasn't available today so he might find it weird if i go there to tutor u but not hang w him ykwim? [9:54pm]
me: oh omg if ur busy today then don't worry about it it's fine !! [9:58pm]
heeseung lee: nono pls come [9:58pm]
heeseung lee: i only said no to him bc i felt slumped this morning lmao [9:59pm]
me: are u sure? i rlly don't wanna bother u.. :( [10:03pm]
heeseung lee: i promise i'm sure yn, come over rn yk where i live [10:04pm]
me: okie i'll be there in 15 ! [10:06pm]
heeseung lee: see u yn :) [10:07pm]
truth is, your anatomy midterm was last week and you in fact did not need any help. instead, you had a chance to see him and you took it.
it must've only been 10 minutes and you were already there standing in front of his door. he lived nearby and you didn't wanna come later than the time you said you were going to arrive, plus you were always the type to be early anyway.
heeseung jumped out of his seat and quickly fixed his hair in the mirror before leaving his room to open the door for you.
his tall figure was now standing there in front of you and you couldn't help but feel nervous. after all, it was your first time seeing him without being with jake. you had a clear motive tonight and it definitely was not to be tutored by him.
he smiles, "hi yn. come in," you walk into his apartment, looking around.
him wearing an oversized white tee and grey sweatpants made you go absolutely insane on the inside.
"here let's go to my room," he leads you to his room and you follow. his room was clean but in that lazy, lived-in way that felt comfortable instead of perfect. the bed was made, although the blanket was pulled up loosely, wrinkled in spots he hadn't bothered to fix.
a grey hoodie was draped over the back of his gaming chair, not tossed but not folded either, like he just slipped it off a moment ago.
his whole room carried a faint, comforting scent of laundry and him, like it was kept neat enough to be welcoming without losing its softness.
he follows you after you enter his room, carefully closing the door behind him.
he forgets what you came there for when he sees you you sit down on his bed with that adorable skirt that was definitely too short for a tutoring session.
did you purposely wear a revealing outfit? yes. and did it work on him? absolutely.
"so, what did you need help with again?" he rubbed the back of his neck, glancing at your thighs.
he couldn't stop thinking about how you were on the same bed that he gets off of while thinking about you.
"anatomy.. what else..?" you replied in a teasing tone then crossed your legs, fully aware of the fact that your skirt was too short to cover the sides of your ass whenever you did this.
he knew what you were doing. the atmosphere in the room suddenly changed and he slowly started walking towards you, his eyes never leaving yours.
he was now standing before you, carefully leaning down at you. you lean back and he places both hands by your sides, looking directly into your eyes.
at this point, his face was inches away from yours.
"no yn, what did you really come here for?" his eyes were now full of need. he needed a clear answer for you.
his mind was going insane. he wasn't sure if he was imagining all of this, since these situations only happened in his imagination anyway.
you look up at him with your doe eyes before quietly saying, "you."
he squints his eyes, "didn't hear you. say it again?"
"you. came here for you," you gave him a slight smile.
"i love how you listen to me so well," he caressed your cheek before adding, "can i?" he was so soft spoken it turned you on even more.
"you don't even have to ask, hee."
and that's all it took for him to crash his lips onto yours. he kissed you deeply, slow at first but deliberate and with purpose. you lay your back on the bed and he now hovers over you, not breaking the kiss.
his hands roamed all over you, touching every part of you like he'd been wanting to.
you lightly push him back to try and take your top off. he notices this and takes it off for you instead and you hear him whisper a "fuck." under his breath when he sees you topless. he slips his shirt off as well and leans down to kiss you once again.
now your hands were roaming all over his chest, his abs, his arms, his shoulders, everywhere. the kiss was rougher now, both of you getting impatient.
he pulls back to breathe, "been wanting to touch you like this for a while,"
he started leaving kisses on your jawline, then he moved down to your neck, then to your collarbone. he was doing all of this while massaging your breasts and you could feel your wetness pooling at this point.
he starts sucking on one of your breasts, gaining a whimper from you. "want you right now, hee."
he hums against you, "not yet baby,"
he leans up and pulls your skirt down, leaving you exposed in your panties. as if the skirt even covered anything. he cups your clothed cunt, "oh my god," you whine.
"shit.. so wet. all this for me?" he smirks as he finally takes your panties off. you nod as he spreads your legs, "you're so pretty," he says and you immediately get shy and try to close your legs, but he held them open.
he started to leave kisses in your inner thigh, your cunt clenching onto nothing from this teasing feeling.
he notices how you were squirming and decided to finally rub your wet clit in a circular motion.
he positions himself between your legs and licked a stripe up your pussy, gaining a loud moan from you.
"taste so good i could stay here forever baby," he hummed against you, sending vibrations all throughout your body.
he was already obsessed with your taste. he was doing this not just to please you but himself as well. he felt his cock throbbing in his pants as he continued lapping at your cunt.
he fastened his pace and started rubbing your clit with his thumb once again. "f-fuck oh my god," you grab onto his hair frantically and he whimpers from you doing this.
"oh god heeseung, i'm gonna-" your hips bucked, pushing yourself into his mouth further when he pulled away and rubbed your clit harder than before.
"cum for me, my perfect girl." he bit his lip at the sight of you reaching your orgasm. he continues rubbing you for a bit afterwards to ride out your high.
you lay there panting, still wanting more while he rests his hands on your waist. "that feel good baby?" he asks, kissing your forehead lightly and you nod in response.
"want you inside me hee," he smirks at your lewd words.
"you're making me go crazy, c'mere." he carefully pulled you by the edge of the bed and slipped down his sweatpants alone with his boxers.
his cock sprung out, tip red, big, hard, and leaking. he spreads your legs once again and lines himself up to your entrance before pulling back a bit.
"wait i need a condom-" he impatiently looks around his room, trying to remember where he had kept them but he stops when you interrupt him.
"just fuck me raw hee," his eyes widened, mouth slightly open in awe. he had never had raw sex to be honest. his last relationship didn't last very long and she never let him hit without a condom, so this was revolutionary for him.
"fuck.. you don't even know what you do to me yn," he says as he lines himself up once again. he slowly pushed himself into you in one motion, feeling your tight walls.
"oh my god you're so big i-"
"you okay?" he was concerned if you were hurting and you nod immediately to reassure him.
after you adjusted to his size you needed him to move asap.
"feel so full, please fuck me hee,"
hearing you call his name like that turned him on so much. he grabs onto both sides of your waist to hold you in place and started thrusting himself into you relentlessly.
"o-oh fuck!" you squeal and grab onto the sheets, not expecting him to go so fast right away.
"feel so good baby," "fuck this pussy's made for me," he was groaning and rambling as he fucked you dumb.
he was fucking so deep into you and you felt every inch of him hit your walls. the sound of your skin slapping against each other mixed with your moans filled the room.
he wraps his hands under your thighs, going even deeper and you moan loudly again when he repeatedly hits that one spot.
"mm, you like that baby? gonna cum on my dick this time?" his hips moved faster while he leaned in closer to leave wet kisses all over your chest.
"f-fuck i'm close h-hee," you moan. "d-dont stop," you add as you reached your climax again, digging your nails into his back.
he slows down his thrusts, "you feel so good cumming on my cock like that, my perfect girl."
"think you can handle more of me?" he pants, his hands trailing down your body which was still shaking from overstimulation. it had been a while since you had an orgasm, let alone two, however you didn't mind letting him fuck you more since he hadn't finished yet.
"i want you to keep fucking me hee," you said as you pulled him in for a kiss. he slips his tongue in almost immediately, passionately making out with you briefly before pulling back.
"turn around for me," he demands and you obey, slowly flipping your body. he pulls you up a bit and pushes your back lightly, perfectly arching you for him.
he felt his cock throbbing again at the sight of your ass up and face down for him, pussy swollen from making you cum once already.
he bit his lip, "fuckin' beauitful yn," before grabbing your ass and sinking it down on himself.
"h-holy fuck-" you moan at this new angle which hit spots you didn't even know he could hit. his hands were gripped tight on your waist, as if he never wanted to let go.
he pounded into you hard and fast, watching himself slide in and out of you.
"s-shit.. taking me so well baby," "so fucking good for me," his moans were getting more erratic and you could tell he was close. at this point, you felt another orgasm coming.
his thrusts started becoming inconsistent but his pace fastened, chasing his release.
"i-i'm close hee!" you scream.
your body started shaking when your third orgasm hit, your pussy clenching around heeseung's throbbing cock.
"fuck- gonna cum in this perfect pussy," he says as he finally spills his cum inside you.
"god- fuckkk take all of it baby," he groaned loudly and pushed one last time before keeping himself inside for a couple of seconds, releasing every drop inside of you.
you lay there, breathless and shaking the from three orgasms he just gave you. he finally pulls out and watches his warm cum slowly drip out of you.
"holy shit.." he bit his bottom lip before taking his cock again and rubbed it against your pussy with his cum on it.
you whine from the sudden feeling, and then he stands up and goes to the bathroom for a minute without saying anything. your body calms down and he returns with a warm wet cloth.
he cleans you up carefully before cleaning himself too. he lays down beside you after, covering both of you with his comforter.
"you don't know how long i've wanted to do this baby," he suddenly says, turning to you and resting his arm on your waist.
"do what? fuck your best friend's little sister?" you joke.
"yn," he says immediately, pouting.
"okay okay sorry," you giggle.
"tease me like this again and i'll fuck you even with jake around next time."
đ§đťââď¸ a/n: making my debut on here with a brother's bsf trope fic (w/ heeseung ofc) i'm still kinda new to tumblr so bare with me if i did anything incorrectly.. anyway, i hope you guys enjoyed this fic !! <3
Š vampheli 2025. all rights reserved.
donât stop talking [ mark lee ]
mark jerks off to his best friendâs voice during a late-night call.
â content 1.7k words, 18+ [ MDNI! ], explicit sexual content, male reader, best friend! mark, phone sex (markâs side), voice kink, masturbation, reader is oblivious at first.
ââ ( part two )
markâs hand was already slick.
it was shameful â he knew that â but by now, the thrill of shame was a part of the arousal.
mark sat hunched in bed, legs spread wide, phone pressed to one ear, breath shallow and uneven. the room was dim. just the soft blue glow of his laptop screen lighting his face, chest rising and falling like heâd just run a mile, bare thighs tense and trembling.
the call had barely even rung when you picked up, voice soft and just a little rough like youâd been napping.
âhey,â you said. âwhatâs up?â
markâs stomach turned over. the second he heard your voice, his grip tightened, his rhythm stumbling on instinct. he sucked in a breath through his teeth.
âyo,â he rasped. his voice cracked. âyou, uh⌠you busy?â
ânah. im just watching dumb videos. you okay? you sound weird.â
weird. yeah. that was one word for it.
he leaned forward a little, curling into himself, phone tucked between his cheek and shoulder while his other hand kept working over his cock. he was flushed to the neck, chest mottled with heat, pulse visible in his throat.
every time he heard your voice through the speaker, it was like a jolt right to his cock â he could feel the way your mouth moved, imagine how your lips would wrap around syllables if he were just a bit closer.
he bit his bottom lip, hard.
âiâm fine,â he said quickly, too quickly, then swallowed. âjust⌠wanted to talk to you.â
he was already so close and that was humiliating in its own right.
your voice was casual, kind. âoh, yeah? what about?â
mark gritted his teeth, hips twitching upward into his palm. âi⌠i dunno. just missed your voice.â
a pause. you laughed softly.
âthatâs weird. you literally saw me earlier today.â
âi know.â
mark closed his eyes, pressing the heel of his palm against the base of his cock to try and slow himself down. it didnât help. he was throbbing. leaking. his stomach muscles clenched tight every time you said anything.
âbut⌠i like hearing you.â
you went quiet for a beat. âyou sure youâre okay? you sound kindaâŚâ
âiâm fine,â mark said again, but his voice broke in the middle of it, strained and raspy, like he was talking through gritted teeth.
he had to pull the phone back a little as a soft, stuttered moan slipped out of him.
shit.
his hand kept moving â too fast now, driven by pure instinct. he tried to breathe slow, tried to pretend he wasnât literally jerking off with your voice in his ear, but you werenât helping.
you chuckled again. âyou sound like youâre sweating or something. hot in your room?â
ây-yeah,â mark gasped, closing his fist tighter. âhot. so, so hot.â
his knuckles were turning white around the phone. he pressed it harder to his ear, needing to hear every note of your voice. his eyes fluttered shut, head falling back against the wall behind his bed. sweat was already gathering under his arms, on his lower back, on the backs of his thighs. jus toes curled into the sheets, ankles twitching with every slick stroke of his hand.
you kept talking. talking like everything was normal. like your best friend wasnât secretly jerking off to your voice and biting his fist to keep from moaning into the receiver.
âyou been staying up late again?â you asked. âyou really sound tired.â
mark choked on a sound that wasnât a laugh, wasnât a sob, wasnât quite a moan.
âmmhâyeah. c-canât sleepâŚâ
âyou should take melatonin or something. or stop watching porn at 3am.â
if only you knew.
mark was panting now, trying to keep it quiet, but every breath was a tremor. his thighs shook with tension, every muscle in his body drawn tight like a bowstring. he sped up again without meaning to, his body begging for release. it wasnât just the friction. it was you â your voice, your laugh, the way you sounded like you were half-asleep and smiling through every word.
and fuck, he wanted you to hear. even if it ruined everything.
âhey,â you said again, more curious now. âyou really okay? you sound like youâreââ
âiâm fâfuck,â mark hissed through his teeth, a broken sound slipping out before he could stop it.
his back arched. he turned his face into the pillow beside him and bit down, hard. his whole body jerked with need.
âs-sorry, sorryââ
you blinked on the other end. âmark⌠are you⌠are you sick or something?â
ân-no,â mark whimpered, voice cracking again.
his chest was heaving, cock twitching wildly in his hand now. the wet slick noises of it were starting to get louder â he was so close it hurt.
âjust⌠nghâjust donât stop talking. please.â
you paused, clearly confused.
âmark, you sure youâre okay? your voice soundsâlike youâre in pain or something. youâre not crying, right?â
he almost was.
ânoân-not crying. j-justâŚâ
his fingers slipped, the slick glide of his palm stuttering for a second. he couldnât do this much longer. every syllable you said was like fuel thrown on the fire. his entire body was one big live wire, and all it would take was one more second of your voice, soft and unknowing in his ear, and heâdâ
âoh fuckâfuckfuckâahââ he gasped suddenly, louder than he meant to.
he couldnât stop it. his hips jerked up off the bed, his legs kicked once, hard, heel catching on the sheet.
âshitââ
âmark?â
bit it was too late.
he came with a guttural noise halfway between a gasp and a whimper, hand still pumping as thick heat spilled across his abs, wrist, stomach. his thighs were trembling, whole body shaking, the pleasure rolling over him in uncontrollable, stuttering waves. he clenched the phone so tight it creaked in his palm.
your voice cut through the haze.
ââŚwait. are youâholy shit. were you jerking off?â
mark froze. his face was bright red, chest heaving, jaw slack as the last pulses of pleasure shook through him.
he didnât answer. he couldnât.
the silence stretched â the only thing in his room now was the sound of him breathing. hard and shallow. still a little shaky, his hand still cupped over the base of his cock, half-hard and twitching against his sticky palm.
the mess was cooling on his stomach, and he was pretty sure his heart had stopped beating somewhere between orgasm and panic.
ââŚmark?â
you sounded different now. not angry. not teasing. just⌠surprised. confused. and a little quieter. your voice had dropped half a note, softer in a way that made his throat close. mark swallowed.
his voice cracked when he finally said it :
ây-yeah.â
one word. barely more than a whisper.
he shifted in bed, feeling how damp the sheets were under his thighs, how raw his skin felt, sensitive to the air now. still holding the phone, mark let out a low, shaky breath and forced himself to speak again.
âi was. i⌠i was jerking off.â
silence.
god, he wanted to disappear. the shame was burning. he shut his eyes and dragged a hand down his face, fingers shaking slightly. his cock gave a small, involuntary twitch in his hand even now. he shouldâve hung up. shouldâve made up some lie. shouldâve said anything else.
instead, he added : âi couldnât stop thinking about your voice. itâfuck, it made it worse. better. i donât know. i justâneeded it.â
there was a pause on the other end. but this one felt different.
ââŚdamn,â you finally said.
the word came out low, cautious.
markâs breath caught. he squeezed his eyes shut.
âyouâre mad,â he mumbled, voice hoarse. âi get it, iâmâfucked up, iâm sorry, i shouldnât have calledââ
âno,â you cut in fast. âno, iâm not mad.â
mark blinked. âyouâre⌠not?â
âi meanâŚâ you hesitated. âthatâs kinda⌠hot.â
mark sat up straighter, heart kicking into a full sprint again. âwhat?â
your voice was a little different now. lower. a little breathy. âyou really called me⌠while you were doing that?â
mark nodded before realizing you couldnât see it.
ây-yeah.â
he was still hard. somehow. his body didnât know how to stop with you still on the phone, your voice suddenly filled with something heavier. curiosity? tension? hunger? whatever it was, it sparked like a live wire right in his chest.
âyou⌠wanted to hear me that bad?â you asked.
and mark could picture the look on your face now â confused, pink-cheeked, maybe biting your lip the way you always did when you were trying to process something fast.
âi did,â mark whispered. âi wanted to imagine you in my ear. i already was. but when i actually heard you⌠i couldnât stop. you sounded so warm. likeâlike you were laying next to me.â
âshit,â you mutter, your breath hitched now. âthatâsâŚâ
mark gripped the phone tighter. âwhat?â
âkind of really hot,â you admitted. âlike, weirdly hot.â
something inside mark broke open at that.
his hand reflexively slid down over his cock again â not stroking yet, but holding it, grounding himself in sensation, in your voice and the feeling of still being on the edge, desperate for more. his stomach clenched, hips shifting under the blankets.
âare youâŚâ he tried. âturned on right now?â
a soft exhale from you bedore you anwser.
âyeah.â
the sound mark made wasnât even a word. just a needy gasp, like heâd been underwater and your answer let him breathe again. he rolled his hips forward a little into his palm, dragging his fingers lightly over the head of his cock. still sensitive. almost unbearable.
âcan i come over?â you asked.
markâs breath hitched. the thought was overwhelming, making his cock twitch even more.
âyes,â he said immediately, too fast, too eager. his voice cracked on it, raw and wet with want. âyes, pleaseâfuck, i want you to.â
there was a pause â not hesitation, but heat. you were quiet for a second, and he could hear you shifting on the other end, probably sitting up now, heart racing like his.
âleave the door unlocked,â you said.
mark nodded again, even though you couldnât see.
âhurry.â
he didnât hang up.
đđđ âś BED CHEM , đđđ đđşđđž
⪠â 1200đž ⍠tutor!jake x fem!rea â smut, mdni đ đ ・ degradation, overstimulation, oral sex ( f receiving ) unprotected sex âż đđđđđđđđđ ・
minji says : i'm back >< i think ... school is starting soon though ă ă but i will try to post more often ! my new goal of the year
youâve been struggling with physics since the start of the semester. physics has always been a nightmare, but with him as your tutor, jake, itâs been less about the formulas and more about trying not to stare at his mouth every time he explains something.
heâs a grad student, a couple years older than you, sharp as hell and way too fucking hot for someone who spends his evenings scribbling diagrams on a whiteboard in your cramped apartment. tall, broad-shouldered, with messy hair that never seems to sit right, and those glasses that slide down the bridge of his nose when heâs explaining something. heâs patient, almost infuriatingly so, and itâs gotten to the point where youâre convinced he knows just how distracted you get around him.
tonight, heâs leaning back in your desk chair, long legs stretched out, tapping the end of his pen against his notebook. youâre supposed to be reviewing circuits, but your attention spanâs shot.
âyouâre not even looking at it anymore,â jake mutters beside you, voice low, annoyed but amused, like he knew this would happen.
you groan and drop the pencil. âbecause it doesnât make sense. it never makes sense.â
âit makes sense if you actually focus.â his hand comes into view, long fingers adjusting your notebook so itâs squared with the desk, his pen scribbling out a quick formula you swear youâve seen a hundred times before. âyouâre not stupid, youâre just impatient.â
you glare at him, but the heat in your chest doesnât come from irritation. youâve been half in love with the way he leans over the table, shirtsleeves rolled up, veins in his forearms flexing when he writes, hair falling into his eyes.
your head snaps up, eyes narrowing. âmaybe iâm just not built for physics.â
âor maybe you just like pretending youâre dumb so iâll keep tutoring you.â his tone is teasing, but thereâs an edge to it that makes heat crawl up the back of your neck.
you scoff, trying to ignore the way his eyes linger too long on your mouth. âplease, i donât need to fake being dumb. this shitâs impossible.â
he leans forward, elbows on the desk.âyou know what might help?â
âwhat?â you ask, already suspicious.
âa brain break.â
you roll your eyes, but heâs already standing, tugging the chair beside you out so he can sit close, thighs brushing. you try to focus on your notebook, on the numbers blurring together, but heâs warm and he smells like cedarwood and cologne, and itâs doing something awful to your concentration.
âlook at me,â he says softly.
you hesitate, then turn your head. his smirk deepens when he sees the nervous flicker in your eyes. âyouâve been staring at me all semester like you want me to solve a different kind of problem for you.â
your throat goes dry. âi havenâtââ
he cuts you off, hand coming up to cup your jaw, thumb brushing across your cheekbone. âyou have. i just let you pretend you werenât.â
then his lips are on yoursâslow, testing at first, until you give in. he takes it deeper, tongue sliding against yours, and suddenly youâre clinging to him, fingers digging into his t-shirt like youâll die if he pulls away.
he breaks the kiss with a grin, lips shiny. âsee? already better than physics.â
you want to roll your eyes, to say something snarky, but then heâs kissing down your neck, and the words melt into a soft gasp. his hands are everywhereâsliding under your top, pushing the fabric up until your stomachâs exposed.
he pulls back just enough to smirk. âthatâs more focus than iâve seen from you all semester.â
âshut up,â you whisper, grabbing at his shirt.
âup,â he murmurs, tugging gently at your hips. you climb into his lap without thinking, straddling him. he drags your top over your head, tossing it aside.
âjake,â you whine, âweâre supposed to beââ
âstudying?â he finishes against your skin, laughing. âyeah, iâll study you instead.â
your laugh breaks off into a moan when he pulls your bra down, tongue flicking over your nipple. his hand slides between your thighs, fingers pressing against the heat through your leggings, and you jolt forward, hips grinding down without permission.
âfuck,â he mutters, looking up at you with hooded eyes. âalready soaked. youâre such a bad student.â his fingers tease you over the thin fabric.
âoff,â he orders, tugging at your waistband. you lift yourself just enough to shimmy out of your pants, panties following until youâre bare in his lap. the way he stares at you makes your skin burn, like heâs cataloguing every inch to memory.
âsit back,â he says, helping you onto the desk this time. papers scatter, pens roll to the floor, but you donât careâyouâre spread out in front of him, and heâs on his knees between your thighs.
âjake, iââ
whatever you were going to say dies when his tongue drags a slow, deliberate stripe up your clit. your whole body jolts.
âjesus,â he groans against you, licking into you like heâs starving. âyou taste so fucking good.â
your fingers tangle in his hair, tugging hard when his lips wrap around your clit, sucking.
âjakeâoh my godââ you gasp, legs trembling as he pins your hips down.
he pulls back just enough to look at you, his mouth shiny with you. âkeep your eyes on me, sweetheart. i wanna see how dumb i make you.â
your head tips back, but you force yourself to look down, meeting his dark gaze, tongue circling.
he doesnât stop, making it drag out until youâre sobbing from overstimulation.
âfuck, thatâs it,â he mutters, his tongue works your clit. âsuch a tight little cunt. bet youâve been waiting for me to do this, huh?â
you nod frantically, words spilling out in broken gasps. âyesâyes, jake, please, donât stopââ
he doesnât. he keeps going, relentless, until your whole body arches off the desk.
âjakeâfuck, iâm gonnaââ
âcum for me,â he growls against you, and you do, clenching around his fingers, crying out his name. he doesnât stop until youâre whimpering, pushing weakly at his head. he finally pulls back, licking his lips like he just finished dessert.
youâre still trying to catch your breath when he unzips his jeans, pushing them down just enough to free his cock. your eyes widenâthick, flushed, already leaking.
âdonât look so shocked,â he teases, stroking himself lazily. âbeen hard for you since problem one.â
âjakeââ you start, but heâs already pushing your thighs wider, lining himself up.
ârelax,â he murmurs, kissing you once before pressing in until heâs buried inside you. you cry out, clutching at his shoulders, the stretch overwhelming but perfect.
âfuck, youâre tight,â he groans, forehead pressed to yours. âlike you were made for me.â
he sets a brutal pace, hips snapping against yours, desk squeaking under the force. every thrust has you gasping, your nails raking down his back.
âjakeâoh my godââ
âthatâs it, baby,â he pants, grabbing your jaw to make you look at him. âlook at me when i fuck you. let me see how good i make you feel.â
youâre helpless under him, body clenching around him so hard you can barely think. heâs everywhereâhis hands, his cock, his voice in your ear telling you how tight, how perfect you are.
âgood fucking girl,â he snarls, fucking you through it.
you shatter, a scream ripping from your throat as your second orgasm crashes through you. he fucks you through it, swearing as your walls squeeze him.
âshitâfuckâgonna cumââ
he pulls out just in time, jerking himself over your stomach, spilling hot across your skin with a guttural moan of your name.
âstill think iâm hopeless?â
âyeah,â he grins, tucking himself back in, smug as ever. âbut at least youâre a good student in other ways.â
FILTHY .á ( johnny x reader )
synopsis. in public, youâre an angel. behind closed doors, youâre downright filthy, and itâs a good thing that johnny knows exactly how to handle you.
rating. mature. (minors + ageless blogs dni)
warnings. dirty talk, dry humping, degrading, petnames (princess, sweetheart, baby, pretty girl, slut), slight size kink, dumbification, overstimulation, mentions of marathon sex, creampie, slight breeding kink, teasing, spitting, light choking, light slapping, daddy kink, begging, praise kink
authors note. inspired by this post i made yesterday⌠i was kinda freaking out over a date and stress wrote smut in response. also suffering with ovulation loadout⌠i swear i might just be batshit insane. also i see your asks and i hear you! i will be responding to them some time soon but in the meantime take a look at this post and send me any prompt with whoever you want me to write it for! iâm in a good mood and want to up the ante on my writing hehe đ¤
thank you for 400+ followers! i love you all and appreciate your support â¤ď¸
network(s) : @neocity-net
You know what people say about you. Youâre the innocent one, the one who should be shielded from substances and sex jokes and anything considered unholy. Youâre the one who has never seen or touched a dick in her life, and probably never will until the day you die.Â
Youâre the virgin, the celibate, the prude.Â
At least, thatâs what they think. Your not-so-public boyfriend, on the other hand, knows quite the opposite.Â
âIs this what you needed, pretty girl?â He pumps himself in and out of you shallowly, biceps caging you underneath him on either side of your head as he pulls whine after whine out of your throat. âCâmon baby, tell me what you need.âÂ
Unbeknownst to many, you are the complete opposite of what you choose to present to the public. At the hands of your boyfriend, Johnny, all of the innocent pretense melts away, replaced by an untamed desire. The moment you get behind closed doors, your public persona is discarded on the welcome mat, and any lust you kept hidden away comes to light.
Your sex drive is concerning, to say the least. Your innocent persona is like a hypothetical chastity cage, locking away your dirty desires for a place more private, where nobody can see nor shame you for your thoughts. Outside, you avoid sexually charged situations like the plague, but inside, youâre the initiator, and youâre glad you have someone equally as dirty as you who can keep up with it.Â
When he met you for the first time, Johnny saw right through your good girl persona. There was no way that someone as beautiful as you had never pursued something like that before, and so he spent his time with you chipping away at the walls you put up, trying to discover whether there was something about you that you were hiding.
And, lo and behold, he found exactly what he was looking for.Â
For better lack of a word, you were a complete and total slut. The moment he gave you the go-ahead, you were all over him, kissing him, marking him and palming him through his trousers like your life depended on it. He saw the way lust clouded your pupils so quickly, and instead of being freaked out, he encouraged it, murmuring words of praise into your ear as you humped his erection desperately.
âPoor thing,â he whispered, large hands gripping your hips and pulling you harder against him. âMust be hard hiding all of this from your friends, right?â You nodded into his neck, tongue flicking against his skin as you prepped it for yet another hickey. âYou donât have to do that with me, princess. I can give you everything you need.âÂ
And so he did. That night, he figured that to keep you from going batshit insane with need, he would have to make you cum until you passed out, stuff you full to the brim until you insisted that you couldnât take any more. And even when you did tell him that you couldnât, you would still rub your tired clit against the tip of his cock, shallow breaths coming out stuttered as you would work yourself up to yet another orgasm.Â
His girlfriend, his sweet, innocent girlfriend turned out to be a complete nymphomaniac, and he loved it. You took anything and everything he gave you, bathed in the afterglow of multiple orgasms time and time again, dug your nails into his back to the point where small crescents would form. And your need was sexy too; those innocent eyes that drew him in at first would be used against him at his behest, and you would look up at him, pupils dilated and lashes fluttering as he coddled you into your blissful state.Â
Itâs how you look up at him now, tits bouncing with each thrust and mouth wide open in an âoâ shape. Youâre quite the sight, but itâs a sight he loves to see nonetheless.
âTell me what you want,â he whispers, hips flush against yours as his tip prods at your g-spot. âTell me what you want and Iâll give it to you.âÂ
âW-want you,â you stutter, eyes focusing and refocusing as you feel the coil begin to wind in your tummy. âWant you to fill me up.âÂ
Johnny laughs breathily, sweat soaked strands of hair falling into his face. âBut Iâm already filling you up, sweet girl. Surely you don't need any more than that.âÂ
He just loves the way your face contorts when he teases you. You get so dumb like this, and when he uses that condescending voice he knows you love, your eyes gloss over as tears begin to form. âDonât be mean.âÂ
âYou like it when Iâm mean.â He leans back, wrapping his hands around your waist and observing the way your tiny pussy swallows him whole. âYou like it when I use your cunt like my own personal doll, donât you sweetheart?âÂ
You hum in satisfaction, cheek pressing into the pillow, but youâre snapped back into the moment by a hand wrapping around your throat. âCâmon, answer me. You like it, donât you?âÂ
âI do,â you moan out, your hoarse voice mingling with the sounds of wet skin slapping. âLove it so much, love you-âÂ
âI know you do, baby. NowâŚâ He runs his thumb along your bottom lip before dragging it downwards, pulling your mouth open. You instinctively stick your tongue out and he smiles, gathering a glob of spit in his throat before dropping into your open lips. âBe a good girl and tell me what you want. What you need.âÂ
Your eyes squeeze shut, but the hand around your neck slaps your cheek, forcing them wide open again. He wants you to look at him, to look at how he so mercilessly destroys your poor pussy, all at your request. âNeed your cum, Johnny. Need you to stuff me full of your cum.âÂ
ââI need your cumâ, what, princess? Remember your manners.â
You gulp before blinking up at him, trying so hard to fight off your impending orgasm. âNeed your cum, please, daddy. Please.âÂ
Oh, youâre so pretty when you beg for him. Youâre even prettier when you call him âdaddyâ; itâs one of the clear signs that youâre way too far gone, and that if he edges you any further, you might not even be able to speak. So, he grants you some reprieve.
When Johnny cums, he buries himself deep inside, skin pressed against yours as he pumps his load right against your cervix. Of course, youâll take the morning after pill tomorrow, but the thought of him stuffing you to the point where you could carry his children turns him on immeasurably, and his cock throbs heavily inside you, walls clamping down as it surrounds itself with warmth.Â
All the while, youâre a trembling mess beneath him. Sweat drenches your skin and sticks to the bedsheets, and your cunt throbs in the rhythm of your racing heartbeat, thighs shaking as your orgasm tears through your veins. All you can say is âthank youâ, coupled with broken sobs and shaky moans.
Johnny holds you through all of it, whispering sweet nothings in your ear as he rides out his own climax against your cervix. âSuch a pretty girl,â he whispers in your ear, lips pressing against its shell. âSuch a pretty doll for me, arenât you?âÂ
All the energy has been drained out of you, and you can only nod, humming sadly when you feel him pull out, the feeling of his release coating your thighs sending a shiver down your spine. All the while, he continues to kiss you, continues to call you his good girl as he caresses your shaking thighs.Â
Johnny is happy that you can be your real self around him, even if that means milking him dry every other night. He loves being the one who can truly satisfy you, but when he thinks youâre finally done for the night, he flinches at the feeling of you wrapping your hand around his still-erect cock.
âOne more,â you whisper, and his eyes shift from where you nudge his tip against your swollen clit to yours, and the blissful glossiness is gone, replaced by a crazed lust.Â
He could never decline you â he knows better than not to â and so he just grins at you, pushing his hair back before slipping his tip into your cunt again.Â
âFucking slut,â he grunts as he continues to slide in, pushing out his own release. âNever satisfied, are you?âÂ
You grin at him wryly before shaking your head. âNuh-uh. Always want you.âÂ
And have him, you will.Â
Š PUPPYSUH 2025 â do not copy, repost or translate my works without permission.
â training yourself to take jeno ďš+18ďš
jeno finished the last of his pull-ups with a strained breath, muscles trembling as he dropped from the bar. his back glistened under the overhead lights, every ridge of definition shining with a thin sheen of sweat. one drop slowly rolled from the curve of his neck down between his shoulder blades, disappearing into the waistband of his shorts.
the bass of the song in his headphones pulsed faintly, but it was background noise now. jaemin hadnât stopped talking for a while, his voice a constant thread that barely registered as jeno tried to push through the fog of effort and overthinking.
their shirts lay forgotten in a crumpled pile by the corner of the mat, dark with sweat and heat. the room was stuffy, thick with the scent of exertionâiron, skin, and something faintly citrus from the cleaner theyâd used earlier.
âshould i pull a jeno and rip my shirt off mid-show?â jaemin asked, dropping to the floor for his crunches, laughter riding his breathless words.
jeno cracked a dry smile, pausing to uncap his water bottle. âyeah, so i donât feel so lonely.â
he tilted his head back and drank deep, the water cool and sharp as it ran down his throat. his chest still rose and fell rapidly, adrenaline curling beneath his skin. it wasnât just the workout. it was the weight in his chest that had started building hours ago.
the dream show 4 had only just begun, and, like clockwork, jeno had thrown himself into trainingâchiseled discipline, punishing sets, a distraction made flesh. it was partly for the stage, sure, but also for the noise in his head.
jaemin had joined him this timeâhis best friend deciding, after years of restraint, to show off a little too. but even with jaeminâs company, jeno felt oddly⌠alone.
as he sat on the bench again, scrolling through his phone with damp fingers, his brows knit tighter. nothing. still nothing.
âwaiting for her messages?â jaemin asked from the floor, glancing up as he resumed his sit-ups.
jeno didnât look up. âyeah⌠itâs been hours since our last one⌠and it was the âgood morning.ââ he stared at the empty screen like it might blink awake with a notification. anything.
âmaybe itâs the signal,â jaemin offered casually. âyou know how bad it is here.â
jeno hummed a half-response but didnât speak. a bad signal wouldnât explain everything.
you always messaged himâa photo of your morning coffee, the building you walked past on your way to class, the sun filtering through your window. little glimpses of your life, sent just to make him feel like he was still there, like you were still close even when oceans stood between you.
but today, nothing.
heâd called. twice. texted. nothing.
the silence didnât feel accidental.
his jaw clenched slightly as he typed out another message, thumbs moving slower this time. more hesitant. more afraid of the silence that might follow.
âare you okay?â
he stared at the words for a moment, then hit send. his chest was tight in that same spot right beneath the sternumâthe one that always ached when he was overthinking.
a minute passed. two. the screen remained empty.
and then, a flicker of something bitterâmark had mentioned you'd replied to him.
jeno exhaled sharply, too loud in the quiet room, and let the phone fall onto the mattress beside him. the soft thud barely registered.
were you mad at him?
but why?
his mind ran through every memory of the last few days before he leftâevery hug, every kiss, every quiet moment. he couldnât find anything that felt like goodbye, or even disappointment.
he tipped the water bottle again, draining the last drop like it might cool the frustration climbing his throat. it didnât help.
because the ache wasnât physical. it was emotional.
a gnawing, tightening string pulled taut across his chest.
and all he wantedâmore than the applause, the show, the stageâwas to hear from you.
just one message.
an hour had passed, and jeno was still at the gymâstubborn and sweat-slick, pacing himself through set after set like he was trying to outrun his thoughts. the ache in his shoulders was familiar, grounding. better than silence. better than not knowing.
jaemin had already gone back to the hotel, calling him once on the way, voice half-asleep and amused. âyou good, man? youâre gonna break something at this rate.â
jeno barely grunted a reply, dropping into another round of push-ups like he could press the frustration out of his chest and into the floor.
but thenâa chime.
a sharp little ping that broke through his rhythm.
he nearly lost his balance, arms giving out as he stumbled to the ground. not even bothering to stand, jeno scrambled toward his phone like a man crawling through sand for water.
your name on the screen.
finally.
his heart kicked up, thudding faster than when heâd been lifting. a single message blinked at him, simple and clean, like it hadnât come after hours of gnawing silence.
"are you alone?"
three words. that was it. like you hadnât just driven him up the wall.
jeno blinked, then typed back quickly.
"yes."
his thumbs hovered, already halfway through a long string of messagesâsomething about how worried he was, how ghosting him like that wasnât fair, how he couldnât focus on anything. not training, not breathing.
but just as he was about to send it, another notification popped up.
a voice message. one minute and something long.
he stared at it for a beat.
then tapped play.
your voice poured through the speaker, soft and low, like a whisper over bare skin. he felt it immediatelyâthe grounding warmth that came whenever you spoke to him. like home, even when you were teasing.
âhi, baby. sorry for not answering, but i was⌠kinda busy.â an airy laugh, light as silk. âiâve been thinking. planning something. but with you here? iâd never get anything done. you wouldnât let me.â
he could hear the smile in your voice, the faint ruffle of sheets in the background.
âbut now that iâm aloneâŚâ
you let the words hang there, playful. jeno's breath caught in his throat.
the message ended, and before he could even process it, another one arrived.
he hit play immediately, sinking to the floor and leaning against the bench, his heart thudding harder than any workout could manage.
âitâs been months since⌠well, you know. since we started our activities.â you giggled softly, and jeno's lips twitchedâboth fond and wrecked. âand i mean⌠i always knew you were big, but i didnât realize just how small i was for youâŚâ
jeno closed his eyes, head falling back with a soft thud against the metal bar behind him. he could see itâthe way youâd say it, pout and all, probably sprawled out in his old t-shirt like you were doing it on purpose.
he swallowed hard.
âso⌠i decided to take matters into my own hands.â a sharp little intake of breath, soft and staggered. âi bought a dildo. just to⌠train myself. for you. so next time, i can finally take you fully.â
jeno exhaled slowly through his nose, jaw clenched, every muscle tight and humming.
she's doing this for me, he thought, staring down at his lap where he could already see the bulge, cock hardening in his sweats. my girl isâfuck.
he remembered the last night before the tour. the way you trembled under him, how his fingers alone had you gasping, whining, moaning. heâd triedâso gently, so patientlyâbut his size had been too much. too long, too thick. youâd pouted then, too, eyes glassy and lips swollen, whispering apologies through tears and kisses. as if it was your fault.
youâd begged for him anyway.
and heâd given you what he could. carefully. reverently.
jenoâs head dropped forward, a slow, helpless grin pulling at his lips despite how wrecked he felt.
you always wanted to give him everything. even when it meant stretching yourself, even when it meant this.
his phone buzzed again, screen lighting up with a photo.
jeno didnât even hesitate. but when he opened itâand saw exactly what you were wearing, how you looked while recording those messagesâhe groaned, low and quiet, dragging a hand over his mouth.
âyouâre evil,â he whispered to no one.
you were wearing his shirt. the same one heâd left behind, soft and worn with his scent. the hem was bunched up around your waist, just high enough to reveal the arousal between your thighsâjust enough for him to see.
his breath hitched.
a blue toy glistened, buried in your sweet cunt, glossy with your juices, dripping around it. the sight was so vivid, jeno could practically taste you.
he could swear it.
then another audio arrived, the little waveform pulsing against his screen.
he didnât hesitate. pressed play.
âitâs not as big as you,â you said, your voice breathy, almost shyâif not for the teasing edge laced beneath it. âbut we have to start somewhere⌠right?â
a quiet laugh. then a soft, shaky moan that made jeno's spine straighten against the bench, his grip on the phone tightening.
he didnât realize he was palming himself until his hand movedâslow, firm, almost involuntary. his mind was already too far gone, replaying your voice over and over.
âiâm so wet, jen⌠so ready for you. bet you wanna hear it, yeah?â
he could hear the shift of fabric, the wet sounds as you bounced on that dildo and thenâgod. even without seeing, his mind painted everything perfectly. you knew exactly what you were doing.
jeno cursed under his breath, jaw tightening as he slid his hand lower. his body reacted before thought could catch up.
he was dizzy with itâthe idea of you touching yourself while thinking of him, preparing yourself for when he returned. and the fact that it was a toy, not himâthat plastic thing trying to mimic what only he could give youâmade something in him twist with longing.
then another voice note.
âpromise meâŚâ you whispered, breath hitching mid-sentence. âpromise me youâll fuck me like a man starved, in every fucking surface in this apartment, until i canât walk, jen. gonna fill me up like iâm a hole just for this, for your cum.â
jenoâs chest rose and fell in harsh, shallow pulls. the words going straight to his cock.
there were no more audios, but they werenât needed.
he could still hear your voiceâsoft, eager, begging for him.
and then came the video.
it was short. shaky. you were fully naked now, body moving with need, lips parted in breathless whimpers as you rode that toy. the light caught the sheen on your skin, your hair messy, your eyes heavy with pleasure.
you said his nameâmore than once. not loudly, but in that breathy way that drove him crazy.
jeno grunted low in his throat, knuckles white where they held his phone. every fiber of him burned with the need to be there, to replace that toy with himself, to hold you still while he unraveled you.
he couldnât take it anymore.
his release came hard, spilling all over his chestâall heat and breath and your name mumbled into the dark.
but even as he panted in the afterglow, he wasnât done.
he leaned back, chest still damp with his cum, skin flushed, bottom fumble right below his balls, and snapped a photoâexplicit, messy, unmistakably his way of saying i feel this too. followed by:
"make sure youâre ready. because when iâm back, iâll make sure to make you forget how to walk."
skye is typing... i was so ready to make a full 10k words fic about this, but i couldn't đ anywaysss hope you like ittt
đˇ @spacejip @lyvhie @sinisxtea @jirsungs @polarisjisung @chenlezip @ayukas @leleszn @mystverse @prologue-ae @hibernatinghamster @kj-kts @nctrawberries @peterm4rker @ant-onie @cupid4hae @lovesuhng @haechanahceah67 @jeonghansshitester @hyusun @ncthoe69 @dawntyun @snowyseungs @bunnysoonie @haechansssun @n0hyuck @yvaniile @nahyuckers @zhapire @dinosaurtoothbrushwithninjasauce @mrscreampie
â chenle is yours and only yours ďš+18ďš
your hand rested on the nape of his neck, fingers tangled gently in his hair, as your lips moved together like a quiet promise. chenle held you close, one hand warm on your waist, the other cradling your head like you were something fragileâsomething he couldnât afford to lose. he kissed you with slow devotion, biting your lower lip just enough to pull a quiet gasp from you, drawing your bodies even closer, like he couldnât get enough.
youâd been like this for minutes nowâwrapped in soft sheets, bare skin against bare skin, lost in each other.
his hand moved along the curve of your waist, fingers tracing every line like he was trying to memorize you. you tugged lightly at the hair at his nape, your nails grazing his skin as your leg hooked around his hips, gently rolling yours against him.
a sharp breath escaped him, the kind that vibrated from his chest to your lips. chenleâs grip on your waist tightened as he pulled you up, settling you over him, chest to chest.
âfuck, babyâŚâ he whispered, voice rough and tender at once. his hands slid up from your thighs, cupping your ass as if grounding himself with your body.
you giggled softly, pressing your lips to his chest, the sound quiet and sweet as your tongue flicked playfully around his nipple.
he responded with a light slap to your ass, not enough to hurtâjust enough to make your skin tingle. a little reminder.
his way of saying behave without saying anything at all.
but you only smiled wider, your lips brushing against his warm skin as you trailed up his arms, finding his hands and intertwining your fingers with his. you slowly pinned them above his head, your eyes locking onto hisâbright, dazed, so full of love you could barely breathe.
âyouâre mine, arenât you?â your voice came out quiet, steady. not a question really. more of a truth you both knew.
he blinked slowly, his breath uneven, chest rising beneath yours. âall yours, love.â
your smile was soft, full of something sweeter than prideâpossession, yes, but wrapped in affection. you kissed down his chest slowly, leaving little love bites along the way, painting your devotion in bruised tenderness.
you dipped down, kissing along his chestâbut this time, you didnât hold back. your lips left a trail of love bites, soft bruises blooming across his skin, a quiet declaration: heâs mine. because he was. and he let you.
you felt him twitch beneath you, the head of his cock rubbing just where it drove him insane. you kept your movements unhurried, dragging your soaked cunt along his shaft, teasing him, leaving him glistening with your arousal. your pace lingered longer when you reached the tip, your folds catching there in a slow grind that made his mouth fall open.
âplease,â chenle whispered, barely audible. a quiet beg that settled low in your stomach.
you didnât make him wait much longer. your hips tilted, and with a soft sigh, you sank down slowly, letting him fill you inch by inch.
your lips parted at the stretch, at the delicious ache of it. he was warm and deep and perfect. and from the way he gasped, fingers tightening beneath yours, you knew he was feeling the same.
you moved slowly at first, bodies rolling together like waves, his name caught in your throat as you bounced gently in his lap. every movement had your breath hitching, the drag of his cock inside you maddeningly perfect, grazing all the right places as you found a rhythm together.
but it wasnât long before he couldnât stay still. chenleâs hands freed themselves, one cupping your neck to pull you down for a kiss, the other gripping your hip as he began thrusting up into youâneedy, desperate, losing himself in your warmth.
your mouths collided again, messy and open-mouthed, breaking into moans as his pace grew rougher. you clung to him, nails dragging down his chest, his name falling again and again from your lips like a prayer, like a vow.
and then it hit. your body tensed, hips jerking as you came hard around him, voice breaking as you cried his nameâloud, beautiful, shameless. the sound of it alone sent him over the edge, his arms locking around you as he buried himself deep and spilled inside you, moaning against your shoulder.
your body went limp against his, both of you breathing hard, your skin damp and flushed, your smile lazy and content as you laid your forehead against his.
you looked down at him through heavy lashes, only to find him already looking up at you. his eyes were glassy, soft, reverentâas if he was seeing something sacred.
you kissed him again, slow and lingering.
âmineâŚâ he murmured against your lips. âfucking mine⌠you and our babyâŚâ
his hand drifted to your belly, still flat, still not showingâbut full of your growing love.
ď˝ đđđđžđ đš uhh... 2 months since my last fic here... i'm sorry guys i'm a failure i know, but like hey, here's another fic for you! đ¤˛đť
â @lyvhie @spacejip @zhapire @onriyuview @dinosaurtoothbrushwithninjasauce @jungaji @sinisxtea @jirsungs @polarisjisung @chenlezip @ayukas @leleszn @mystverse @hibernatinghamster @kj-kts @nctrawberries @peterm4rker @ant-onie @lovesuhng @haechanahceah67 @jeonghansshitester @hyusun @ncthoe69 @dawntyun @snowyseungs @n0hyuck @nahyuckers
sugar rush
genre: smut, 18+
wc: 659
summary: your bf!sion is a munch who can't get enough of being in between your thighs
âno artificial sweetener you gonâ eat it up âtil yo teeth hurt.â - sugar rush, bibi
cw: munch!sion, established relationship, oral (f), praise kink, mention of multiple orgasms, overstimulation, pet names (baby), let me know if i missed anything!
a/n: inspired by that clip of sion eating ice cream...
"please," sion breathes out against the skin of your inner thighs.
he's looking up at you with those big, beautiful eyes of his, his lids half-open because of how drunk he is on you already.
the night started as wholesome as ever, cuddling on the couch and watching a cute movie before the two of you decided to go out to get ice cream to treat yourselves after the long work week.
you watch him as he all but inhales the matcha soft serve cone he ordered, your mouth slightly ajar as your eyes widen at the way he even tilts his head sideways to get a mouthful of the sweet treat.
and now, you've found yourself lying on the bed, the only piece of clothing that still remains is your sion's oversized shirt pushed up to expose your bare breasts, your sweatpants and underwear long forgotten on the floor.
your loving and doting boyfriend is between your legs, lips moving across your warm skin and teeth nipping at the supple flesh, his eyes pleading at you to give in, not that you wouldn't anyway.
"saw the way you looked at me eating that ice cream earlier, baby," he mumbles before sucking a love bite into your thigh, causing you to hiss at the sharp sensation, your eyes fluttering shut.
you open them as you feel the source of warmth move away, meeting his eyes that crinkle into a smile and itâs then you realize heâs teasing you.
"yeah you shouldâve seen the way you were eati-" youâre cut off by the warm sensation of his tongue swiping up your folds, lingering at your clit for an extra beat. âfuck,â you mutter, your eyes closing once more as you savor the feeling.
"you taste better than any dessert," he mumbles into your folds, hurriedly alternating between pushing his tongue between them even further and wrapping his swollen lips around your clit as he drinks you in.
his words send a new wave of heat straight to your core in the form of some arousal leaking, but sion doesnât let any of it go to waste as he laps it right up.
your hands reach forward to find purchase in his hair, fingers curling around the freshly cut and dyed locks.
"could do this all day, you know," he whispers, pulling back as best he can to admire your fucked out form, a free hand reaching up to play with your tits.
your head is thrown back, hair splayed out against the pillow, sionâs shirt bunched up as his fingers work at your hardened nipples.
the sensation of him pinching at your sensitive nubs sends even more shocks up your spine as you arch into his touch, a smile spreading across his face as he watches you.
"your body responds to me so well," he whispers, placing soft kisses against your folds as he lets you collect yourself briefly. âlove seeing how much i affect you.â
not long after he finishes his sugary-sweet confessions, heâs diving right back in like a man starved, lewd slurping sounds laced with your gasps filling the air as sion closes his own eyes, breathing you in as he devours you whole.
"how many you gonna give me, baby?" he asks, barely moving away from your core, which makes it hard to decipher his words in the first place, but you're too occupied with finding your own breath to process for a few moments.
the shock and surprise that fills you as you finally register his question, knowing youâre in for it for the night, prompts your hips to buck up into his mouth even further.
his moans against your cunt send crashing waves to your brain as he brings to your first orgasm of the night.
"gonna eat you out âtil my teeth hurt from how sweet you are."
a/n: thank u to my baby @hazyhae for beta reading as always mwah âĄ
tags: @be-my-sunrise @nebularsung
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË messy eater haechan
heâs always been like this: messy. greedy. the kind of man who canât eat slowly, who gets sauce on his lips and never wipes it off, who licks his fingers instead of using a napkin. you should have known it would translate to this.
because now, with your thighs trembling around his shoulders and his mouth buried between them. the taste of you is something heâs been craving for weeks and now that heâs had a drop, he canât stop. his hands are firm on your hips, anchoring you to the edge of the bed, afraid youâll slip away. and maybe you would, if you had the strength. if your body werenât already unraveling under his mouth.
haechan moans into you, sharp and breathy as itâs him being touched. he whines when you twitch, when your breath catches, when your hand tangles in his hair. his mouth works without rhythm and hesitation, sometimes slow and indulgent, then suddenly fast, desperate, because he just canât decide whether to savor you or devour you whole.
you look at him, and fuck⌠heâs gorgeous, even like this. maybe especially like this.
his lips are flushed, glistening, swollen from how long heâs been down there. his hair clings to his forehead, damp with sweat. brows drawn tight with a tension thick with focus and hunger. his jawline, usually so soft and clean, is now slick wet with your arousal and his spit, smeared across his chin, catching the light at the corners of his mouth. you see it trailing down his throat, glinting in the hollow there.
his tongue slides lower. a thick, wet stroke right into your cunt, and your whole body jolts. your spine arches off the bed, hands flying to the sheets, to his hair, to anything that might tether you to yourself. he groans against you, the sound reverberating through your skin like a low hum. itâs filthy. perfect.
his nose bumps your clit, teasing, nudging with a kind of casual precision that feels anything but accidental. the pressure is soft, rhythmic. warm from his breath. he pushes deeper, tongue fucking into you, not just a flick, or a taste, but deep, wet thrusts that make your hips grind into his face before you even realize. he drags back up, licks through your folds, flattens his tongue under your clit only to dip back inside, messier this time. and the slick sound of it, of you, fills the air, so obscene it borders on holy.
he shifts. nose pressing to your clit again, this time with purpose, this time harder, while his tongue stays buried inside your hole. your thighs tighten around his head. you try to push him away, quivering hands on his head, thighs clamping shut, too sensitive, too much, you whisper. but he only groans and his grip hardens, prying you open again, like heâs offended youâd even try to leave.Â
he presses his tongue back in, slow this time, dragging it up through your slick, flicking over your clit with obscene ease. he licks like heâs cleaning a plate, unwilling to leave a single drop behind. one hand slips beneath your thigh to tilt your hips, the other splays over your stomach, pinning you there, holding you down as he already knows whatâs coming. and when he adds his fingers, two of them, you cry out. he curls them inside you, unerringly, hitting that spot inside you that makes your legs jerk. without pause, he sucks your clit into his mouth and doesnât let go, not until itâs pulsing against his tongue.Â
his pace doesnât slow, not when your thighs quake, not when your hands claw at the sheets, not when your body arches off the bed in one long, trembling line. he stays, mouth open, tongue heavy, lips smeared with everything youâve given him.Â
when he finally pulls back, after making you come three times in a row, heâs panting. his face is wrecked, cheeks flushed, chin wet, eyes glazed. totally drunk on you. a line of spit still connects his mouth to your cunt, and when he wipes it with the back of his hand, it only smears across his cheek.
you look at him, legs still shaking, breath shallow, and he just smiles.
a crooked, fucked-out smile, like heâs proud of the wreckage heâs made. but he doesnât look satisfied. no. not even close. he watches you as if you owe him more, and heâs ready to dive back in just to feel you dripping down his chin again.


